To the rest of you, let’s stop these damn seafood lent specials. Let the business go to Red Lobster, Joe’s Crab Shack, Long John Silver’s‘, VFD fish fry events, and Monterey Bay. If you don’t normally do shellfish, stay away from it. Please? I ask of behalf of the seafood allergic and those who choose to eat kosher.
Well, Quiznos never wrote back, but a QSRweb representative did. Apparently Quiznos is embarrassed or perhaps angered by my request. At the very least, they’re obviously not amused. Poor customer service, indeed. Perhaps they picked up a flippant tone to my original email?
From: Alicia Kelso <aliciak@networldalliance.com>
Date: Tue, Feb 7, 2012
Subject: RE: Wendy’s accelerates store reimaging, undergoes employee ‘reboot’
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Good afternoon, Waldo.
Per your inquiry about Quiznos and its anemic presence. That is, indeed, purposeful. The company has been restructuring – teetering on Chapter 11 – for the past year, year and a half.
In the process, it named new members to the executive team and closed its underperforming shops. However, the company has embarked upon a turnaround effort – new marketing, new international markets. Don’t count it out just yet.
You may start to see Quiznos popping up again within the next couple of years.
Well, so there’s that. Chapter 11 can’t be a good thing. So, that’s why all those local stores closed. How can they not make money? People need to eat. People like sandwiches. Make the sandwiches well, and people will eat there. Seems simple.
Still waiting for an official answer from Quiznos. Perhaps they’d like to defend this position. I have a feeling I’ll never get one.
I’d just like to go on record saying I don’t like bathroom attendants. I’ve been to two venues lately that have had them, the Diesel Club Lounge & the Altar Bar. My run-in last night at the Altar Bar was odd. I went into the stall to relieve myself, and came out to the faucet running, a dude squirting soap in my hands, and handing me some towels when I was done. It’s odd to have someone do something for me that I could have easily done myself.
Imagine you’re walking down the street and your shoe comes untied, I run up to tie your shoe, & expect a tip. I would be met with a resounding “WTF?” because I wasn’t asked to help. Yet, I helped you, and you had no choice. Odd there. Odd in the bathroom.
We can suspend the general “stage fright” issue, knowing it’s weird that there’s a dude standing less than 10 feet away, but it is a public bathroom so there’s always that distraction. It’s just the other guys are there doing the same thing as you, not offering any services.
Poop-flavored candy, cakes, & gum!
Speaking of offering services… No, I don’t want any gum, candy, Swiss cake rolls, or honey buns that have been sitting in the bathroom. Can’t you at least put that part right outside the door? I don’t generally have food in my bathroom at home…. why would I want it anywhere else? How many foul smells & horrible germs must those foods absorb before you’re able to sell them? I’m not a smoker, but I’m guessing that people who are also don’t want cigarettes that smell like they were pulled out of a sewer.
Why are you trying to sell me food in the bathroom? No, I don’t need cologne or deodorant, or anything else. When I’m urinating, it’s my own special alone time. I don’t need to chat or dine afterwards to celebrate.
Thank goodness I didn’t need to defecate last night. Who wants to poop with someone hanging out ready to smell that? Not to be disgusting, but we all do it, and we all know it smells horrible sometimes. Who the hell wants to stand in a room selling absorbent little cakes while that’s going on? (Would he build a nest for me? Is that guy ready to wipe & wet-nap my ass too? Do you have to tip extra for that?)
I can see the plus sides… perhaps a person in there deters people from being general pigs, graffiti, illicit activities, and promotes hand-washing. They probably never run out of towels, soap, or toilet paper. But, really, why not just check on things periodically and put up a sign.
Do these attendants get paid, or do they work only for tips & poop-flavored candy sales? How does one get a position as a urination supervision specialist?
Shouldn’t I have a chance to refuse their services entirely if it creeps me out?
Where & why did this all start?
We live by Carnegie Mellon, can’t someone make some robots for this job that aren’t creepy & that don’t require tips?
Some people are no fun. Quiznos pretty much refuses to write back to this:
Salutations Sandwich Sultans!
♩♫ Where have all the Quiznos gone? ♬♪ (I imagined that in my head as sung like that “Where Have all the Cowboys Gone” song from the 90’s. – Hopefully you did too!)
I live in & around Pittsburgh PA, and all the Quiznos locations seem to have dried up. At one point we were over-saturated, then poof! They were all gone.
What happened? Was it too easy to open a Quiznos? Are they deceptively hard to run for a profit? Is it hard to find good workers? Certainly you have a better product than Subway and there aren’t many Jimmy John’s, Jersey Mike’s, or Firehouse Subs in the area (yet).
I ask only because I keep receiving emails asking me to come eat at Quiznos… yet there aren’t any near where I live or work, thus eliminating weekday lunch or dinner visits. This doesn’t discount weekends, but I also don’t find myself near any Quiznos locations when I’m out & about.
This brings me back to by original query; ♩♫ Where have all the Quiznos gone? ♬♪ (Did you hear it this time?)
Inquisitively,
-Waldo
♩♫ Where have all the Quiznos gone? ♬♪
Really, what happened? That’s all I want to know. They are actual legitimate (if slightly embarrassing) questions.
I’ve submitted this to their contact form, and haven’t received a reply. I sent it to some email addresses I had for Quiznos employees, and it bounced back.
They didn’t really answer well via Twitter, as they couldn’t get my whole letter:
Technical details of permanent failure:
Google tried to deliver your message, but it was rejected by the recipient domain. We recommend contacting the other email provider for further information about the cause of this error. The error that the other server returned was: 550 550 5.7.1 <helpdesk@myquiznos.com>: Relay access denied. (state 14).
Weird. That message (according to a quick Google search) sort of tells me I’ve been marked as spam. I tired sending from a different email address, but got the same thing. I may have to print & mail this one. I wonder if even that will garner a response?
I’m going to need to get my passport, a long weekend, and maybe even a French/English dictionary so I can drive to Montreal and have several meals at my new ideal vacation destination: Zero8
As everyone suffering from food allergies knows, going to the restaurant with family, friends or colleagues is not always enjoyable: limited knowledge of the ingredients used in dishes, fear of cross-contamination, lack of confidence in the staff are some of the worries that can come with ordering a simple meal!
A food allergy cannot be taken lightly. Difficulty breathing, loss of consciousness, inflammation and vomiting are some of the extreme reactions that the immune system can have when confronted with a food protein. The consequences can be dramatic. Serious allergies can cause an anaphylactic shock, a violent reaction that can cause loss of consciousness and sometimes death.
At Zero8 we offer a secure environment where you can eat with confidence. We guarantee a worry-free meal!
…And something more restaurants ought to understand, express, & practice. Or at least this could translate to other restaurants:
Since most food allergies are caused by the 9 priority allergens, you may be allergic to other foods. That is why we identify all of the ingredients in our dishes on our menu and that the list of our kitchen’s authorized ingredients is available upon request at any time. Whenever possible, we try to accommodate our clients’ requests in adapting dishes to their particular needs.
Zero8 pays attention to your needs!
Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea why Canada seems to be light-years ahead of the United States where food allergies are concerned. They have better legislation, tolerance for epi-pens, and awareness.
Chefs in the US need to get behind this! If there was a place like this in Pittsburgh, you could bet I’d be there all the time and I’d tell all my friends & family about the place. There were a ton of Pittsburghers at the Food Allergy Walk last year, you have your clientele ready!
Click the Allergy Eats Blog logo to read about Paul’s experience there!
Inspired by the Food Allergy Fun graph of responses that Tiffany gets when she tells people her child has a food allergy, I made my own graph. These are the typical responses that I, as an adult, get when I tell people about my shellfish allergy & try to give a brief description of the dangers of cross-contamination.
Sad, but funny. Food Allergy Fun‘s Tiffany is always good for a giggle. At least I only have to worry about myself, not a little one. I could make a similar graph of responses that I encounter when I tell other adults about my food allergy.
It’s OK if you like these bands. I just don’t. I’m not going to offer any explanation. I’m not saying that they’re not immensely talented or incredibly rich or famous. With some of these bands, I’m no doubt in the minority. Some of them are punching bags for haters everywhere. I’m sure I like some bands that others may find absolutely terrible. It’s fine if you’re a fan of the bands listed below. I’m just not. These are my opinions.
The Clarks
Nickelback
U2
Godsmack
Disturbed
Coldplay
Rusted Root
Phish
The Dave Matthews Band
Rascal Flatts
Jimmy Buffett
Bono
I’m sure I’m missing some. I’m sure I’ve angered some people. I just had to get it out there. What bands do you find annoying? What songs make you cringe every time you hear a single note?
CHAINS. I wanted to tackle the prominent area pizza chains for part 3. (You read parts 1 & 2, right?) I’m really not supposed to eat pizza right now thanks to recently diagnosed GERD/Acid Reflux/Barret’s Esophagus, but I have eaten many pizzas from these many chains over the years. I’m going to be extra picky about my pizza from now on. I’ll probably stick with Slice on Broadway and Aiello’s. But the event may come up where I need to pick a chain place again, and here’s where they fall…
Fox’s(or Fox’s Pizza Den) is pretty good. The different locations aren’t always consistent, but when you find a good one… stick with it! I really dig the one in Bridgeville as of late, but the one closest to home is the one in Brookline. I grew up on Fox’s in Murrysville, as it was the only place who would deliver to my house out in the boonies. I don’t know if Fox’s recently revamped their UrbanSpoon profiles or what, but I know I’ve reviewed the one in Brookline, but it’s not there. Their pages all seem to have little to no reviews or votes. I remember going on & on about the wedgies. In fact, I found it at another source…
Gimme a Wedgie!
It’s not the sick twisted fantasies of a nerd that likes being dominated by bullies… It’s a call to order the best #%@$ing sandwich you’ve ever had. It’s served up on a pizza crust instead of a bun. How awesome is that? The steak one is my favorite, but I’ve never seen one that doesn’t look appetizing. Just make sure you’ve got plenty of napkins on hand.
Their pizza is pretty damn good too. There was a Fox’s near where I grew up in the suburbs, but they never had a menu this vast. I sometimes end up getting the fried zucchini or the potato wedges… but really can’t ever eat anything after finishing a whole wedgie. In fact, my wife & I even sometimes just split one to avoid over-stuffing. Ordering for delivery is usually the standard half hour to 45 min., and they’re usually there before they said they were going to be… so that’s a plus. You can’t go wrong with Fox’s.
Vocelli Pizzais another one that must have purged old UrbanSpoon reviews. There’s virtually nothing there. I used to love Vocelli’s, even if they’re just named after a made up Italian sounding word. The service at the local one went down hill, and this is what it used to say on UrbanSpoon:
I used to love this place, & would order quite frequently. But, the last time we got a Buffalo chicken pizza, there was hair on it. My wife called & told them, they said they’d send a coupon for a free one next time. We never got any coupons, and were hungry for their food again… so I got a stromboli and the wife got a buffalo chicken pizza… and the pizza had hair on it again. She found it (luckily) on the first bite. So, she called the call center. She of course, didn’t eat any more, so we could show them. The delivery boy showed up… was incredibly rude, didn’t look at the old pizza, and practically threw the new one at my wife.
I don’t know why he took it personally… I was gonna tip him for coming out the 2nd time because he didn’t put hair on the pizza… but with actions/service like that, they can shove it. I always tried to tip well too, as we (used to) get pizza form there all the time. This was enough to end it. There’s plenty of other pizza shops around, apparently they don’t need our business, anyway. Hair in a pizza once? I can see it happening. Twice within the span of a month or two? That’s just absolutely ridiculous.
So… in closing, I’d say what used to be a great place has now sunken to a.) being filthy, and b.) having terrible customer service.
…but in all fairness, after a while we did go back & they seemed to have weeded out the bad employees. I’ve also tried their artery-clogging Alfredo sauce on a pizza, and loved it. My triglycerides did not. I do like Vocelli’s normal sauce, and they generally make a consistent pie & decent subs. If you’re ordering for a crowd, I’d say Vocelli Pizza is an across-the-board crowd-pleaser.
''Vocelli?'' Sure, that sounds Italian enough!
Papa John’srules with their online ordering. The sauce isn’t quite as good as Vocelli’s, but they do always give you the tasty garlic dipping sauce and a Peperoncini. They do rock as far as consistency. You know what you’re getting every time. I wish they had subs, I always like to get subs… especially turkey, or sometimes you’re in the mood for a pizza-shop Italian sub. But then again, maybe they just want to focus on pizza & doing it well. Check out these amusing blog posts about Papa John’s:
Little Caesar’s, what the hell happened? When I was a young lad, we would pickup a pizza after we left Network Video (a place where you rented VHS tapes for the kids out there), we’d pop into Little Caesar’s for what I think was called a Bigfoot… two big-ass square pizzas side by side? I’d always want breadsticks, because I have an unnatural love for carbs. I was sad when Little Caesar’s all but disappeared and was relegated to Kmart stores for some strange reason. When there was a recent resurgence, and a subsequent person paid to stand on West Liberty Ave. and sling a Little Caesar’s sign… I was excited. We tried the new incredibly cheap pies one night… and they were terrible. The sauce is definitely much more bitter than I remember, and perhaps in my old age I forgot about all the grease that adorns (soaks) their crust. I still like the breadsticks, and $5 is pretty good for the amount that they give you, but $5 of crap is still crap. If I’m in the mood for punishment, need an immediate meal, and it’s a week where I need to pay for dinner with couch change, I may go back.
CiCi’s ought to change the name to CaCa’s. I’ve only ever been there once, but that’s all I need. Wow. It was like eating wax & tomato soup spread out over crackers. Who cares if it’s cheap and all-you-can-eat when it’s absolutely terrible nutrition? My high school cafeteria served better pizza, and even better pizza imitation food. I think there was a salad bar, and an unholy “mac n’ cheese” pizza. I don’t remember much other than the dried crusty partial pies getting tanned under the hot lights and maybe even someone shouting a welcome when we walked in. I just wanted to leave but had paid and tried to just stay & eat my few dollars worth. CiCi’s won that day. There’s no way I had eaten more of that crap than hat I paid for.
Pizza Hut causes me great gastrointestinal distress. Every few years, I forget and enter a Pizza Hut thinking “ah, it wasn’t that bad”. Yes, yes it is. Perhaps I hit an age long ago where Pizza Hut was no longer compatible with my intestines. Perhaps I was really slow to learn the pattern. We didn’t do Pizza Hut too much when I was growing up. Maybe I never built up a tolerance/immunity. The pizza itself isn’t bad, I’ve had the personal pan, the normal pies, a few lunch buffets… they generally have a good crust & good flavor… albeit greasy. It’s just that their pie unleashes itself like an assault team on my digestive system. The one in Greentree is the last one that I visited. The service was slow, and I didn’t feel welcomed at all. Hopefully it steels my resolve to skip Pizza Hut in the future.
A letter within a maze, for my pals at Pizza Hut. (They never did write back!)
I know I missed Domino’s, but I was never impressed with their pies… and there’s never one around where I’m ordering. I did like the Noid commercials back in the day though. I haven’t tried their revamped pies. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
Did I miss your favorite chain pizza? Did I miss your most reviled?
Apparently, the difference between an address bar, a search box, and a To field are entirely lost on a certain segment of the population. That’s OK, because those people are here for our amusement. I believe this kind of thing may sort of be the fault of a smartphone, but maybe I’m giving too much credit there. I’m still lost on the exact chain of events, but this came through my blog’s contact form:
From: Mckiver <mckiver317@gmail.com> To: <me> Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Hello! I have an Award Card. My Award Card’s validation date is 12/05/11 – 12/09/11. I would like to know if my Award Card can still be used? If not, I would like to know if I can exchange this gift card for a new valid one? I also want to know the valid amount on my gift card (if any)?
Again with this crap: “How’d you find my blog?: I found this blog on the back of my Kmart Award Card.” No, I’m pretty sure you didn’t. But, you’re here anyway.
So, I wrote back…
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> Date: Tue, Jan 17, 2012 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback (Not Kmart) To: Mckiver, mckiver317@hotmail.com
Hello Mr. or Ms. McKiver,
I just wanted to write to let you know that I’m not Kmart. I believe you found a blog post that I wrote about Kmart, then somehow navigated to my blog’s contact form to send this email. Perhaps you searched for “www.kmartfeedback.com” instead of using the url bar, and it brought you to my blog? Or perhaps you searched for “help@customerservice.kmart.com” instead of sending an email? Were you maybe browsing on your phone?
Unfortunately I am unable to assist with your awards card query. I am also not McDonald’s. Good luck in your quest for information, I hope that Kmart is able to provide an agreeable answer. Hopefully they are more responsive than my dealings with Pizza Hut.
I hadn’t heard back from you, and I was worried that you had given up in your quest for award card information. Did Kmart get a hold of you? I Cc’ed them on the email hoping they’d step in & deliver your information. I hadn’t received a thank you from them for trying to help out a Kmart shopper, so I was a little discouraged.
If you were able to use your gift card, what did you buy? Anything exciting? Last time I was at Kmart, I bought some really warm socks. They’re nice this time of year. I like to keep my feet warm.
Does your Kmart have a Little Caesar’s out front? I remember their pizza used to be awesome, but now it tastes like tomato paste spread over cardboard & covered in wax chips. Someone ought to look into that. Yeah, it’s only $5… but my $5 was hard-earned, and I’m not going to spend it eating a turd, you know?
In conclusion, I’d suggest socks, not pizza for your award/gift card.
Hope you’re having a nice day!
-Waldo Lunar
Well, Kmart is concerned at least:
From: Kmart Help <help@customerservice.kmart.com> Date: Fri, Jan 20, 2012 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback (Not Kmart) (KMM20865508V93493L0KM) To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Good Morning Waldo,
Thank you for contacting Kmart.com.
Waldo, we are sorry for any inconvenience you encountered with the feedback that you have given today. We know that your time is valuable and we appreciate the fact you took the time to give us feedback on our performance.
We are listening to what you have to say. The feedback that you have provided today regarding (will be taken into consideration as we continue to enhance our services to meet the needs of our customers, (including you) going forward.
Many of the changes that we have made have been a result of feedback from customers like you.
We are here for you! Please reply should you have any further questions. We value your business and look forward to serving you in the future. You can also contact us on our customer service number 1-800-733-7249 or login to our chat support. Have a wonderful day!
We certainly hope you will continue to make Kmart your choice for quality and value!
At Kmart we care for our customers’ feedback, it helps us improve our service. Take our survey to tell us how we’re doing.
Make sure you’re registered at Kmart.com for emails, so we can stay in touch! Please add Kmart values, Kmart.com to your address book to ensure our emails reach your inbox.
Little Caesar’s
CiCi’s
World (and Lunar) Domination 