If you want beef, then bring the ruckus! My mushroom meatloaf ain’t nothin’ to ████ with.

With the likely chance of repeating myself, I like to make meatloaf different all the time. I make “normal” ones often, and made a crazy breakfast one one time. I think I have even crushed up Cheese⟐Its or Doritos in lieu of breadcrumbs. I blame Chopped. I forgot that I made one VERY similar to this not too long ago. The blog post was kind of sus as I was using LLM as I cooked to keep track of what I was did in hopes of having a coherent recipe for a post, & had 4 of them pop out interpretations of my recipe. I put the examples there. That may be overwhelming. I’ll do all the writing for this one. I sort of half-plan and wing it with meatloaf. This time I wanted to do some mashed potatoes & acorn squash with it too… so I did.

This was an absurd amount of meatloaf, but I like leftovers and I’ll probably freeze some for later too. This is what I bought or had on hand this time. Most of my ingredients nowadays come from Aldi, & we do get some stuff at Giant Total Eagle.

I used a lot of processed ingredients, so I didn’t add any salt… other than what was in the season salt. I forget if we have McCormick or the Aldi brand. Of course you could use fresh mushrooms like I did last time… but this is what struck me to use this time. Also, you can use any kind of cheese or meat you want. If you don’t like, mushrooms, or onions… I will say “Bean Soup” to you and you can find other meatloaf recipes where they’re not the focus. If you don’t like meat… I would be interested to hear your suggestions for substitutions here.

You know… if I put shredded green beans in this, and maybe bacon pieces… it would be green bean casserole meatloaf. 🤯

Here are all the parts to the meal, and what I did to bring it all together at the same time…

The Mushroom Mayhem Meatloaf

Ingredients:

• ½ stick unsalted butter (OK, maybe ¾)
• A splash of EVOO.
• A splash of milk.
• ½ Spanish Onion
• 1 cup French-fried onions.
• 2 4-oz. cans of mushrooms
• 2 10.5-oz. cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1½ cups panko breadcrumbs
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup shredded Havarti cheese.
• 2 tsp. jarred minced garlic (oh I know some of you hate it)
• 4 lbs. ground beef (As it worked out I had exactly 4 lbs., 2.54 of 80/20 & 1.46 of 93/7.)
• A1 (to taste)
• Garlic Powder (to taste)
• Onion Powder (to taste)
• Seasoned Salt (like Morton’s Season All, Lawry’s, or Stonemill to taste)
• Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
• Black Pepper (to taste)
• Ground Mustard (to taste)
• Paprika (to taste)
• 4 slices of cheap spongy white bread

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375°.
2. Drain & dice one can of mushrooms, dice the onion, and crunch up some of those french-fried onions to throw in there too.
3. Hit the onion with garlic powder & onion powder.
4. Melt some butter with a splash of EVOO on medium-high heat in a frying pan, then add the mushrooms & onions, sauté on medium-low for a while until the mushrooms are translucent & almost starting to caramelize. Toss in some of that minced garlic once it gets going. Set aside.
5. Mix 1 can of the cream of mushroom soup, the breadcrumbs, about a ½ cup of the French fried onions, & 2 splashes of A1 in a bowl. (Would this count as a panade?)
6. Whisk the eggs, the splash of milk, & all your spices in the bowl. Or use a fork. Be whimsical. Improvise.
7. In a large mixing bowl, mix the ground beef, about ¾ of the sauteed mushrooms & onions, the sort-of panade, the egg mixture, about 1 cup of shredded Havarti, & another tsp. of that minced garlic. Mix it all up. (I started with a spoon spatula, then just used my hands.)
8. Form the meatloaf into two loaves placed on top of the slices of white bread on a sheet pan. (You had that ready right? I mean, you read this all through before you started and knew you needed to have that ready before you got your hands all raw-meatloafy, right?)
9. Sprinkle Seasoned Salt & whatever other spices you want on the top.
10. Cover with foil, & put in the oven for about a ½ hour-ish? I cooked to temperature, not time. (The USDA says ground beef should hit 160° to prevent all kinds of potentially horrible things.)
11. Mix together another can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, some more shredded Havarti, some French-fried onions, a small can of mushrooms, about half of what you have left of the sauteed onion/mushroom mix, & some A1 & spices.
12. Open the oven, take the foil off, insert your thermometer probes, slather on the mixture, and slide it back in. Cook for about an additional hour. Maybe? (This is where I slid it to the side & popped in my golden acorn squash.)
13. Take it out when it hits the 160°, let it rest for a bit, and have at it!

Notes:

• I add whatever spices at each step as I go.
• Of course, use fresh mushrooms or different onions, or whatever speaks to you.
• Monitor your meatloaf, if cooling alone maybe do an hour covered, then uncover a bit, put in the probes, & slather the stuff on top later. I didn’t want to keep opening the oven.
• I rarely measure when making stuff like this… these are suggestions at best.
• I was originally going to make one long-ass loaf, but I decided on 2 smaller ones at the last minute. I should have put them side by side, not end to end.
• Use a loaf pan or two if that’s your thing, or a glass baking dish, or whatever works for you. I like the freeform loaf on bread, it works for me. Just maybe don’t do feetloaf or faceloaf. Really, don’t do this.
• I start with an empty dishwasher and just rinse & pop everything in there as I use it because I have a small kitchen.
• You could rock out to Meatloaf while you make meatloaf. Or some Wu Tang.

Roasted Golden Acorn Squash

Ingredients:

• 2 golden acorn squashes
• 1 stick of butter
• Paprika (to taste)
• Onion Powder (to taste)
• Brown Sugar (to taste)

Recipe:

1. Your oven is already at 375° with the meatloaf above, right?
2. Melt the butter, spices, & sugar in a microwave safe bowl.
3. Cut the acorn squash in half with a sharp serrated knife from the stem to the tip on both sides, then pop it open.
4. Scoop out the seeds & strings with a spoon.
5. Score the insides with a cross-hatch pattern or whatever floats your boat.
6. Put the 4 halves open side up in a glass baking dish in about ¼ of water.
7. Try to evenly distribute the sugary melted butter in the centers, being sure to drizzle some on the top too. I used a small gravy ladle.
8. Let it ride in the oven for about an hour or so, maybe an hour and 15 minutes. You want it to just slightly start to burn on the edges.

Notes:

• If I was not sharing the oven with meatloaf, I probably would have put these in at 400° or 425°. I am here to tell you that recipes are merely suggestions and you are free to adapt on the fly and use your own free will.
• Lots of recipes have you start acorn squash face down, then turn them over, do the hokey pokey & all that. I am here to tell you that you absolutely do not need to do all that. Save your time & energy for other meal prep or solving one of my mazes.
• Use whatever spices or sweetener you like. I find maple syrup overpowering sometimes, but it is popular here. I actually in hindsight should have tried hot honey on one. It seems to be all the rage. Some cayenne would really work well here.
• Instead of a cross-hatch pattern, you could make a face, carve a list of your enemies, or this.
• Squashes sounds weird. Can squash itself be plural?

Nashed Tapaters N’ Gravy

This may be controversial. I like boxed instant mashed potatoes. They’re quick. I can control the consistency easily. They are a blank canvas upon which you can paint your flavorful dreams. On holidays? I am doing real potatoes. Typical dinner? Flakes are fine.

Mashed Potato Ingredients:

• Boxed Mashed Potato Flakes
• Milk
• Butter
• Beef Bouillon Cube
• Shredded Havarti
• Black Pepper (to taste)
• White Pepper (to taste)
• Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
• Garlic Powder (to taste)
• Onion Powder (to taste)

Mashed Potato “Recipe”:

1. Make the potatoes according to the directions on the box. Their suggested serving sizes are a lie. Go big, or go home.
2. I pop a beef bouillon cube or two in the water instead of the salt. It ties it in to the meatloaf nicely and adds salt & flavor.
3. Stir in some shredded Havarti cheese at the end. Measure with your heart. Or your appendix. Whatever organ is speaking, just listen.
4. Add some more butter.

Gravy Ingredients:

• 1 brown gravy packet
• 1 mushroom gravy packet
• 1 4-oz. can of mushrooms
• 1 10.5-oz. can condensed cream of mushroom soup
• Some of those sauteed mushrooms & onions from waaay back up top
• Black Pepper (to taste)
• White Pepper (to taste)
• Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
• Garlic Powder (to taste)
• Onion Powder (to taste)

Gravy “Recipe”:

1. Mix the gravy packets both at once according to the directions on the pack… adding in your preferred spices.
2. Once it is fully simmered & not clunky… pop the burner back up to medium and add in the soup, the canned mushrooms, and some of your sauteed onion & mushroom mix.
3. Keep that going until it’s all heated through, you shouldn’t need to let it boil again. Let it rest a bit.

Notes:

• I’m an anarchist when it comes to instant potatoes. Toss in buttermilk, sour cream, cheese, garlic… whatever you want. Use chicken stock or vegetable stock instead of water. I try to tie it in to the main dish.
• You could make a gravy from scratch… but it’ll be almost the same stuff that’s in the packets. And, I wasn’t about to collect the drippings from the meatloaf to make a gravy like you would with a roast. 🤣

🍖🍄🧅🧀🥔

There you have it. What would you do differently? Have anything you picked up that you might try? What are your meatloaf go-to recipes, tips, & tricks? Have any other meatloaf styles, or do you do it straight-up old school ketchup glaze? Most importantly, what are you rocking out to as you make meatloaf?