Recipe | AiXeLsyD13-style Wedding Soup


Yeah, I blogged about this before. But, that post is long winded and I have refined my method ever so slightly. Also Kraft doesn’t make Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing any more. Which isn’t a huge deal, but still. Mainly, I make my meatballs & chicken both in the oven now.

Overhead view of a bright orange soup bowl with a black handle, held in one hand. A spoon lifts a meatball resting on acini di pepe, with shredded chicken, melted cheese, wilted spinach, chopped carrots, and chopped celery floating in a golden broth.

Here’s the recipe for the meatballs & the soup. I don’t measure anything, so these are guesses.

Meatballs

Ingredients:

  • ~3 lbs. ground beef (80/20)
  • ½ bag Seasoned croutons, crushed (eyeball it; you want mostly meat, not bread)
  • splash of milk, to soak the crushed croutons
  • ½ cup French fried onions, crushed
  • splash of Zesty Italian (eyeball it)
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • ¼ cup chopped fresh spinach
  • 2 tablespoons fresh parsley
  • ¼ cup Parmesan/Romano “shake cheese”
  • Seasonings: onion powder, garlic powder, salt, black pepper, Italian seasoning, Dash table blend

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400°F and line a sheet pan with parchment paper.
  2. Crush the croutons (I used a ground meat masher thing – but you can do it by hand, or in a baggie with the shake-cheese bottle) and the French fried onions. Stir the milk into the croutons and let them soak for a few minutes (The internet tells me this is a panade.)
  3. In a big bowl, mix the beef, soaked croutons, French fried onions, a splash of dressing, the eggs, a few shakes of cheese, the spinach, the parsley, and the seasonings by hand until just combined.
  4. Roll or scoop into mini meatballs, about 1 inch, and space them out on the pan.
  5. Bake 18 to 20-ish minutes, until no pink remains and they hit 160°F.

Chicken

Ingredients:

  • Chicken breast cutlets (about 1½ to 2 lb)
  • Olive oil
  • Rotisserie chicken seasoning, poultry seasoning.

Method:

  1. Put the cutlets on a separate sheet pan, drizzle with oil, and sprinkle with seasoning.
  2. Bake at 400°F for 18 to 20-ish minutes, flipping halfway, until they hit 165°F.
  3. Let rest a few minutes, then slice into chunks.

Soup

Ingredients:

  • Butter (enough to cover the bottom of the pot when melted)
  • A few handfuls of carrots, finely chopped
  • About ⅓ bunch celery, chopped (stalks plus some leaves)
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • Fresh parsley
  • Minced garlic (the jarred kind in oil is fine)
  • 4 cartons chicken broth/stock (or whatever mix you have)
  • ¼ cup fresh parsley
  • 2 tablespoons minced jarred garlic.
  • Salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder,
  • 1 box (16 oz) De Cecco acini de pepe
  • Fresh spinach, chopped (I get the kind in the clear box at Aldi)
  • Shredded Parmesan for topping

Method:

  1. Melt the butter in the soup pot. Add the carrots, celery, onion, parsley, and garlic, season well, and sauté for a bit.
  2. Pour in the broth/stock and bring to a boil. (I used chicken broth, chicken stock, bone broth, and vegetable broth this time.)
  3. Reduce the heat a bit and add the chicken and meatballs. Bring back to a boil.
  4. Add the spinach and acini de pepe and boil about 9 minutes, or until the pasta is done.
  5. Top each bowl with shredded Parmesan. Let it cool before eating.

Notes:

  • The acini di pepe swells a lot in leftovers. The whole internet says to cook it separately and add it to each bowl which ensures that I will absolutely do exactly not that. You do you though.
  • This is not a traditional Italian wedding soup. I’m a mostly UK-ish mutt with some German and maybe even Norwegian heritage living in southwestern PA. Don’t come at me telling me what I did wrong.
  • You can use bouillon cubes, Better Than Bouillon , make your own stock, or even sneak your favorite beer into the stock. You do you.
  • You can use frozen meatballs, but these are so much better. Maybe use a rotisserie chicken too? There are no rules. I support culinary anarchy.
  • I feel like mushrooms may be good in this too? I don’t know why.
  • Gimme your tips & tricks!

Tacoloaf: Doritos, Taco Sauce & Cheese-Crusted Taco Meatloaf


You know I have a hard time just making a normal meatloaf, right? I mean, I have the hardboiled egg & bacon one, the Swiss/onion/mushroom one, the mushroom & Havarti one, & the Turkey Dinner one. Of course, I have a normal one too.

There’s other stuff I’m surely gonna try. The Wedding Soup Meatball Sub worked, why not make it a meatloaf? Maybe? I thought of a chili meatloaf, whic would maybe have beans in it… and I still may try that someday, but this seemed like more of an easy win. Plus, leftovers right into a warmed tortilla? Yes, please.

Maybe this is “white people tacos” because of the seasonings, but I mean… it was pretty good, and it tasted like the tacos I grew up eating in the 80s. I should have snuck in some salsa and black olives. Wait. Maybe refried beans? Would that even work?

A taco-inspired meatloaf topped with melted cheese and taco sauce atop of a parchment lined baking sheet.

I absolutely do not measure. All measurements are approximate. Measure with your heart, and season according to your ancestors. If your ancestors come from the same place mine do, maybe keep seasoning a bit past that.

Ingredients:

  • 2½ lbs. 80/20 ground beef
  • 2 Tbsp taco seasoning (from a shaker; about 1-1½ packets if you’re using packets)
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 cup crushed Doritos (about 2 cups before crushing; roughly 2 big handfuls)
  • ¼ cup panko
  • ¼ cup taco sauce
  • ¼ cup milk, for soaking the panko
  • 1 cup Mexican-style shredded cheese
  • 2-3 Tbsp. sour cream
  • ½ cup slightly crushed French fried onions
  • Other seasonings, approximate:
    • 1 tsp chili powder
    • ½ tsp cumin
    • ½ tsp garlic powder
    • ½ tsp onion powder
    • ½ tsp paprika
    • ¼ tsp cayenne
    • ½ tsp black pepper
  • ½ cup taco sauce, divided (for glaze/topping)
  • ½ cup shredded Mexican-style cheese (for topping)
  • 3 sacrificial slices of white bread.

Instructions:

  • Preheat the oven to 400°F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment and lay the bread slices side by side, shaped roughly like the loaf.
  • Soak the panko & crushed Doritos. Stir the panko, ¼ cup taco sauce and ¼ cup milk together in a large bowl. Let it sit about 5 minutes until it’s a thick paste. Season this up.
  • Beat the eggs lightly and stir them into the soaked panko mixture..
  • Add the beef, taco seasoning, cheese, sour cream, French fried onions and all more spices to the bowl. Mix gently with your hands.
  • Shape. Form a loaf on top of the bread, about 9-10 inches long and 3-4 inches tall. (The bread catches the drippings and keeps the bottom from burning.)
  • Bake for about 50 minutes.
  • Take it out and brush the top with about ¼ cup taco sauce. Add a thin layer of shredded cheese, then drizzle with the remaining taco sauce. Bake another 15-20 minutes, until the cheese is browned and bubbly and the internal temperature reads 160°F.
  • Rest for about 3 minutes, then slice.

I think it was pretty good. Obviously you could do regular tortilla chips and add more seasoning. I may do that next time. This time I baked it alongside a normal meatloaf just in case nobody liked it. The family looked at me weird when I rolled out my plan.

I served all this along with some Spanish rice & black beans. I probably made that very not traditionally, but it was also pretty good. Also with it I sauteed some zucchini and bell pepper. Would have done onion, but the last one was a little too squishy for my taste.

What unconventional meatloaf ideas are you sitting on? Would you try this? What are you making out there?

Halloween Pasta w/ Butternut Squash Sauce


OK, so this recipe is really inspired by or let’s say heavily borrowed from a recipe that I saw on a Barilla Campanelle box years ago. I saw some Reggano Halloween Shaped Pasta at Aldi recently, and I thought the butternut squash sauce would hit the right color and flavor for fall.

I’m not fancy enough for pancetta, so I used bacon pieces, and I skipped the balsamic vinegar and added a dash of heavy cream because why not? I didn’t measure anything, but here’s what I did;

Ingredients:

  • 1 bag Reganno Halloween Shaped Pasta (or whatever you have on hand, really).
  • ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
  • ⅓ cup bacon pieces
  • 1 small Onion chopped
  • 2 small butternut squash, cubed (It was about 8 cups)
  • 2 cups chicken broth
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • salt, pepper, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, Dash table blend to taste.

Method:

  1. Sauté onions & bacon pieces in the oil on medium-high heat until crispy. Use your seasonings here.
  2. Add the butternut squash and brown it up a bit. Seasonings again.
  3. Add in the chicken broth, and bring to a boil.
  4. Simmer for 10 to 15-ish minutes or until the squash gets soft.
  5. Process half of the sauce in the blender until smooth. (I used an immersion blender and did half of the sautee pan.)
  6. Add the heavy cream and give it a stir.
  7. Cook pasta according to directions and toss with or top with the sauce.

Notes:

  • I should have added some more crisped up bacon at the end.
  • Of course you could use & cook bacon or pancetta here. Or no meat.
  • Try the OG with the vinegar if that’s your thing.
  • I feel like roasting some butternut squash separately and adding it in would add some depth.
  • Hear me out… Roasted Brussels sprouts would work really well with this.

How would you do it? What are your butternut sqash recipes? Have any good pasta sauce recipes that aren’t marinara or alfredo?

What if soup, but sandwich? Wedding Soup Meatball Subs.


So, you know I like to make soup. And you know I’m a fan of meatball subs (& meatball clubs! Join the meatball club). I made my version of wedding soup recently, and it was pretty good. I remarked it’d be good to have a meatball sub with those flavors, and everyone in the family seemed to agree. So, here we are.

Yinz wanna jump to the recipe?

A hearty meatball sub inspired by Italian wedding soup, featuring tender meatballs, greens, and melted cheese on a toasted hoagie roll.
A toasted wedding-soup inspired meatball sub cut in half on a plate, served alongside a warm bowl of flavorful golden brodo di bollito.

Lots of other people have done this and there are certainly other recipes out there, but as always I did my own take here. I get real tired real quick on foodie gatekeeping about the “right” way to do stuff, as it recipes and ingredients haven’t always changed across generations, borders, & families.

I had what I wanted to do and a taste I was going for in my head, and it definitely hit the mark. My son tasted a meatball before we made a sandwich and he said the meatball tasted exactly like wedding soup. I’ll take that!

I ended up making a broth on the side to kind of have like a a French Dip sandwich. Google says it’s a Brodo di Bollito. I took the bun that I messed up, but it still looks pretty good. I’ll try to make the recipe concise below. I just kind of throw stuff together, don’t measure, and hope it works.

How would you do yours? I present this as a guide and a reminder for myself the next time I make these. I encourage you to make it your own. Here’s what I did, I’ll try to present it as a recipe:

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 lbs. ground beef
  • 1 lb. ground chicken
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 Tbsp. milk, splash
  • ⅓ cup plain breadcrumbs
  • ⅓ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan (for meatballs)
  • ⅓ box (1 lb.) acini di pepe
  • 1 cup matchstick carrots, finely chopped
  • 1½ celery stalks w/ leaves, finely chopped
  • ½ Spanish onion, finely chopped
  • 4 Tbsp. butter (for sautéing mirepoix & wilting spinach)
  • Dash of extra virgin olive oil, for sautéing mirepoix
  • Seasonings! (To taste, throughout.)
    • onion powder
    • garlic powder
    • black pepper
    • Dash table blend
    • paprika
    • dried parsley
    • Italian seasoning
    • rotisserie chicken seasoning
    • poultry seasoning
  • 3 tsp. jarred minced garlic (I know, I know, the internet hates this. Use fresh then.)
  • 1 (32 Oz.) box chicken stock
  • 1 (32 Oz.) box chicken broth
  • 1 beef bouillon cube
  • 1 cup whole-milk ricotta
  • 4 cups fresh spinach
  • 4 hard rolls, split on top
  • 1 cup fontina, freshly shredded
  • ½ cup fancy shredded Parmesan, for topping

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° F.
  2. In a soup pot, sauté the Carrots, celery, & onion in some butter & a splash of olive oil, with the jarred minced garlic. Season with a bit of the herb/spices to taste, add minced garlic after the stuff cooks a bit.
  3. Take out maybe ½ to ¾ cup of the mirepoix and set aside to cool.
  4. Add the chicken stock and beef bouillon cube to the pot with the remaining mirepoix, and bring it to a boil.
  5. Add the acini di pepe, cook about 9 minutes per the box, just shy of tender — you want it barely cooked, not swollen.
  6. Set aside about ½ to ¾ cup of the acini di pepe to cool.
  7. Put the stock on a warmer or a low simmer.
  8. Mix the meatballs! Combine ground beef, ground chicken, 2 large eggs, 2 tablespoons milk, plain & panko breadcrumbs, 0.5 cups grated Parmesan. Gently fold in the cooled mirepoix/acini di pepe mixture, Mix by hand until just combined, don’t overwork. Don’t forget to season the egg mixture, the breadcrumbs, & the meat.
  9. Form a bunch of meatballs on a backing sheet with some parchment paper. Mine were probably just a little smaller than 2 inches in diameter. I seasoned them after forming, too.
  10. Bake the meatballs at 400°F for 17-ish minutes (until they reach 165°F internal).
  11. Season the ricotta: While the meatballs bake, mix ricotta with a pinch of the seasoning blend until well combined.
  12. Wilt the spinach in a pan with some butter & seasonings.
  13. Split 4 hard rolls on top. Spread the herbed ricotta inside, then toast in the oven at 400°F for about 5 minutes. (You can time it to go in with the meatballs or wait until they’re done.)
  14. Layer wilted spinach into each toasted roll, top with meatballs, then sprinkle fontina & shredded Parmesan generously over the top.
  15. Melt the cheese: Return assembled subs to the oven at 400°F for about 7 minutes until the cheese is melted and bubbly.
  16. Warm the broth and serve alongside the subs for dipping, French dip style.

Notes:

  • I should have used fresh parsley in addition to the dried stuff.
  • Use “real” garlic if you’re cooler than me.
  • I should have put a tiny bit of spinach in the meatballs too.
  • This could have made like 10 sandwiches, I only made 4. We’re gonna freeze stuff for later.
  • Use plain or panko or seasoned breadcrumbs, or crush up crackers, parmesan Cheez⟐It, or croutons. Hell, crush up Ritz. Use what ya got.
  • Just melt butter with herbs/seasonings & spread it on the bun, then add mozzarella or provolone or whatever kind of cheese you like here if you’re so inclined. I went with Ricotta and Fontina because they seem more mellow for some reason.
  • I would use a little pasta here. Maybe orzo or stelline or any kind of pastina.
  • Of course you can use sausage, or veal, or pork, or whatever floats your boat.
  • The spinach could have used some type of vinegar maybe, to cut the richness? Lemon would work too, but I’m not a huge fan. We had these with a nice small side salad.
  • I feel like red bell pepper may not have been out of place here somewhere? In the meatball sauteed? Roasted red peppers on top?
  • I hate rice in meatballs, so I subbed in veggies for my cabbage rolls, and that really worked well.

So, there you have it. What do you think? Do you make a similar sub or know of a restaurant or food truck that does? What other kind of soup would make a good meatball sub? My wife suggested French onion. That seems doable and delicious.

What if we got weird with cheddar cheese-filled meatballs dipped in tomato soup? Broccoli cheddar soup inspired, made with meatballs sort of like ham loaf ? I suggested a meatloaf made like a green bean holiday casserole and the family told me that the madness had to stop. (It’s not that far off from mushroom meatloaf mayhem.)

Wait. Ground turkey, boxed stuffing as the breadcrumbs, and a cranberry glaze? That would make one hell of a meatball sub or a meatloaf. (Sort of like my Thanksgiving sliders?)

Maybe the meatball club can be more than just a sandwich, and more than just a photo on some merch? We could strive to make different meatball sandwiches, and have an actual club? Who’s in?

Hit me up in the comments with questions or suggestions!

Pizza Pockets


So, a while back I made some things, and I don’t know if they were calzones or stromboli because no one can seem to fully agree on the definitions of either. Yes, I know definitions exist, but restaurants are all over out here calling them the wrong thing and people will confidently give you their contradicting hyper-regional opinions as gospel. Maybe it’s a turnover? I like alliteration, so Pizza Pocket it is.

[ Just The Recipe | Cooked Wiki | Only the Recipe ]

The first ones I made were not pretty. They were more half-moon shaped, one was not sealed well. They were delicious, but not awesome. I used pizza dough balls from Aldi and I did not do a great job stretching it.

This time I made some for lunch, and they looked pretty good. I put fillings in to order for each of us, and put our initials on top so they didn’t get mixed up. I got a resounding seal of approval on these, so I’m putting it here to make it again.

A top-down view of a parchment paper lined baking sheet holding four large, crispy, golden-brown pizza pockets. Each pocket features a personalized family initial carved into the top crust to identify the different fillings, with hints of glorious melted cheese peeking through.
Pizza Pockets!

Here’s what I used:

  • Giant Eagle pizza dough pop-tube
  • Jarred pizza sauce
  • Shredded Italian blend cheese
  • Shredded Mozzarella cheese
  • Parmesan cheese (the powdery shake kind)
  • 2 eggs
  • ½ stick butter
  • “Toppings:” (Fillings?)
    • canned mushroom stems & pieces
    • canned black olive slices
    • jarred roasted red peppers
    • diced ham
    • mini pepperoni
  • Spices:
    • garlic powder
    • onion powder
    • paprika
    • Italian blend
    • parsley
    • Dash table blend

Here’s how I made them:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° (Or if you’re weird like me, preheat it to 425° then crank it down to 400° after you put the food in.)
  2. Put down some parchment paper on a large baking sheet because washing dishes sucks.
  3. Put any wet toppings like the mushrooms, olives, & red pepper on a paper towel or two do drain & dry off a bit.
  4. Melt the butter in a microwavable bowl, add in spices to taste.
  5. Crack the eggs into another bowl, whisk (or fork), and add spices again.
  6. Pop open the scary dough tubes with a spoon, roll them out, and cut them in half the short way.
  7. Put down the Italian cheese blend on half of the half. I didn’t measure, but I did use the whole bag. Leave room on the edges so you can seal the dough.
  8. Spoon on a very little bit of the pizza sauce.
  9. Add your preferred toppings, keeping track of who gets what. I took ’em all!
  10. Sprinkle some parmesan cheese.
  11. Top with a little bit of Mozzarella.
  12. Hit the edges with some egg wash.
  13. Fold over the dough to make a nice rectangle, and use a fork to crimp the 3 “open” edges.
  14. Brush the egg wash on top, then brush the melted butter on top of that.
  15. Add extra spices on top if you think it needs it, and go for more parmesan too.
  16. Cut slits in the top shaped like everyone’s initials so you know whose is whose.
  17. Pop that in the oven at 400° for 20 minutes and you get what I got in the picture.

Suggestions/Substitutions/Advice:

  • I measure with my heart. You should too. Trust your judgement. Season until your ancestors tell you to stop.
  • It’s also fun to make mountain pies (if you have a campfire going) or pizza grilled cheese.
  • You could get fancy and do all kinds of stuff like green peppers, pepperoncini, sausage, onion, Ricotta, anchovies, spinach, basil, whatever.
  • Of course use whatever dough or cheese fits your fancy, fits your budget, or is simply what’s available.
  • You can skip the pizza sauce. I also wouldn’t overdo it… you want vents up top to let steam out so it doesn’t stay too wet.

So, do you make something similar? I am way too impatient to make dough, and I seem to even be too impatient to stretch a dough ball properly. These rolled canned tube things were perfect.

Hit me up on the comments or social media replies with some conversation:

  • What would your toppings of choice be?
  • Is this a Calzone, Stromboli, turnover, or what?
  • What would you do different?

Regardless, when making a pizza, calzone, stromboli, you gotta listen to my Punk Rock Pizza Party playlist. Oh and, hey… Did you try and make a meatball club yet? You don’t have to do stuff the same boring way as everyone else. If you did make one, you should get a T-shirt (or at least a button).

I will continue to make weird stuff, and leave pizza to the experts. You could wear this T-shirt while you make pizza 0r eat pizza.

Pizza Crawl! 🍕🍕🍕 [The Carroll Clan Cut Crawl?]


I got it in my head a while ago that I wanted to try some local pizza places back-to-back, and three of my favorites are super close to each other, so… why not? I set out to get 1 slice each from Beto’s, Slice on Broadway (in Beechview), & Badamo’s (in Dormont). They are all less than 2 miles apart, so it was only a few minutes from one to the other.

Instead of a Birthday dinner, we made this my birthday lunch, albeit a few days early. I have a problem with loving alliteration. Should this be dubbed the Carroll Clan Cut Crawl?

I’m not that guy that talks about one-bite rules or pizza flop, so I’ll rate all of these a 13/13. I think there are so many styles and recipes for pizza, they all deserve a spot at the table and some respect.

A cut from Beto's | A slice of cheesy pizza with a thick layer of unmelted shredded cheese in a takeout box, resting on parchment paper.
3 cheese cuts from Beto’s

🍕 Beto’s – $1.92/cheese slice | If you can’t get your head around Ohio Valley Style… I get it. But, it’s worth figuring out. I don’t put it in the same class as these New York Style pies, but there is room for many styles of pizza in this world. Beto’s is an institution. They are always packed. This stuff is a hit with me. It is simple, the crust is thick and square like Sicilian style with a savory sauce. The Provolone is just perfect, and the decision to leave it uncooked is wild but it works. I mean, you can ask them to cook it, but why? I got a small Mug root beer from the fountain. I love it. My son loves it, my wife is on the fence, and my daughter is not a fan (she got the mozzarella sticks). My son said Beto’s is his far & away favorite.

A slice from Slice on Broadway | A slice of cheese pizza on a metal tray, featuring a golden-brown crust and melted cheese with a slightly crispy edge.
A slice from Slice on Broadway

🍕 Slice on Broadway – $3.50/cheese slice | They claim it’s NYC style pie made by Yinzers. I have never had a slice of pizza in NY, but I hope for New York’s sake it’s as good as this. The sauce is ever so slightly sweet… not overly sweet, but it hits. The crust is crispy and doughy. The cheese is absolutely just right. It was so nice & warm on a cold day… and it hits the spot consistently every time, even across different locations. I paired it with a Boylan’s Birch Beer. I ordinarily like to get it with Ricotta & meatball here. My daughter, son, & wife all loved it as usual. Of course I loved it too. I think Slice was my wife & daughter’s favorite.

A slice from Badamo's
A slice from Badamo’s

🍕 Badamo’s – $2.50/cheese slice | So much love and attention to the craft goes into this pie! Anthony & the people that work there are just incredibly cool and super welcoming. I opted for Pepperoni this time, but my son was getting full so I ended up eating his cheese slice too. The sauce is savory and delicious, it’s not sweet but it’s not acidic. The crust has an entirely different feel & taste than anyone else around. It’s delicious and perfectly crispy. I really need to try their Sicilian style too! The pepperoni is small and delicious without taking over. On regular trips, I like the Ricotta & basil. I paired it with a carton of Turner’s iced tea. My wife & daughter really liked this one, my son nope’d out for being full, and I loved it enough to have two slices. (Hey, listen to Black Tie Revue!)

All in all, to me the nearly side-by-side comparison was super fun, and confirmed that they’re all great pizza that can stand on their own, or stand together. It was a cool afternoon activity with the family & everyone was enthusiastic about the mini adventure.

Of course I have a Punk Rock Pizza Party 🍕 playlist on Amazon Music & Spotify. You can import it to your preferred service too.

We are lucky to have so many great independent & small chain pizza shops in the area with a wide variety of styles and flavors. I remember the first time trying Beto’s and I took it back to the old apartment in Dormont & the cheese was sort-of half-melted and it was just perfect. I remember when Slice opened and we checked it out and it was absolutely delicious. I remember going to A’Pizza Badamo in Mt. Lebanon before it moved to Dormont and absolutely loving their pie & the great people.

Of course, there are great spots all over in & around the city… but I kept this Crawl tight. If you did a pizza crawl, which spots would you hit? Bonus points for keeping them within say a 5 mile radius! Would you do more than 3? Could you?

Culinary Anarchy | You don’t have to parboil the lasagna noodles!


A slice of lasagna on a white plate, showcasing layers of pasta, ricotta cheese, meat, and marinara sauce.
Leftover Lasagna – about to be re-heated in the microwave.

I have seen it out there on the internet for years, and I was afraid. Surely the ready-to-bake lasagna noodles are drastically different from the regular ones, right? I’m not talking fresh pasta that needs no prep… I mean the dried boxed stuff that food snobs will tell you is inferior.

I did it. No one died. Everyone seemed to like it. I’ll put my recipe down here first & the shenanigans after that… because Threads gave me some shenanigans. Trigger warning for Nonnas worldwide: I put brown sugar in jarred sauce. Proceed with caution.

Here’s what I did…

Ingredients:

  • (3) 15 oz. containers ricotta cheese
  • (2) 8. oz/2 cups bags shredded Mozzarella/Provolone cheese
  • (1) 2.41 lbs. package 90%/10% ground beef
  • (1) small zucchini, shredded (maybe 2 cups?)
  • (3) 24 oz. jars marinara sauce
  • (1) 1 lb. box Barilla lasagna noodles
  • (2) eggs
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan/Romano cheese
  • shredded parmesan (to taste)
  • fresh curly parsley (to taste)
  • Italian seasoning (to taste)
  • dried parsley (to taste)
  • brown sugar (to taste)
  • jarred minced garlic (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • paprika (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash table blend (to taste)
  • salt (to taste)

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 375° (Next time I may do 350° for a longer time, but we were in a but of a hurry.)
  2. Brown the beef in a pan on the stove with some of all your spices to taste. (I could/should have included onion here.)
  3. Mix the ricotta, one bag of the shredded cheese, the grated parmesan, a bit of the shredded parmesan, the eggs, fresh parsley, & shredded zucchini in a large bowl, again with all the spices including the garlic.
  4. This filled two 9×13″ glass baking dishes for me. I think I layered them both a bit different. Follow your heart. Put sauce on the bottom, sprinkle in some brown sugar, the dry lasagna noodles, the ricotta mixture, the ground beef, some more shredded cheese, more sauce, more noodles, and just keep going. I did put a very little bit of water in the jars of sauce to swirl around & empty more.. and put that into the dishes too. Sprinkled cheese and made sure there was lots of sauce on top of each.
  5. Cover them tightly with foil & put them in the oven for 50 minutes.
  6. Take out, sprinkle on some more of the shredded parmesan, cook for another 10 minutes.
  7. Pull out, rest for a bit, then serve.

Notes:

  • Like I said, lower & slower next time. Maybe 350° for an hour then uncover & go for another 15 minutes?
  • Carrots may be good in with the ground beef… and/or mushrooms?
  • Maybe spinach in the cheese mixture or as another layer. Let’s get some fiber up in here.
  • I don’t generally like sausage, but if you do it’d be good here for sure.
  • What would you do?

🍝

Readers, let me tell you… people have feelings about calling that strip of pasta a “lasagna noodle.” There is also the fact that “American” lasagna has ricotta, but traditional does not. I was even told that because I added shredded zucchini it is no longer lasagna. I have made it replacing the pasta with long thinly-sliced zucchini planks and still called it lasagna.

People have lost their damn minds. No one knows that food and language evolve over time and across regions and even households?

I did plug my ingredients list into Gemini, ChatGPT, Perplexity, & Copilot to see what they would churn back out, but honestly I didn’t follow through with any of their advice.

I also make wedding soup incorrectly and put beans in chili. Clutch those pearls! Enjoy a meatball club. Hell, join the meatball club!

I look forward to your thoughts about lasagna, your tips, tricks & recipes, and the nuance of semantics involving pasta naming conventions in the comments. How do you layer yours? I feel like I need a way deeper pan. Do you go “traditional” and eschew ricotta? Do you call lasagna noodles lasagna noodles or are you pretentious?

I leave you with the discourse:

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Shameless Plug: Get a Turkey Maze T-shirt! 🦃✍️


I love Thanksgiving. It’s coming soon. This is some Turkey Day attire that you can relax in. Wear it under a nice cozy flannel. It appears to be on sale at both my TeePublic and RedBubble shops currently. You should take advantage of that if you’re so inclined.

You can get this design on an apron, a coffee mug, a tote bag, a hoodie, a blanket, a pillow… or all kinds of stuff really. You can change the clothing color with a bunch of options & styles at each site too. Poke around & see if you can find something you like!

Also, you can print this out & try to solve it for free. Or do it on your phone/tablet/whatever. You can post it on social media & tag me @AiXeLsyD13.

A colorful maze illustration of a turkey with intricate patterns in its feathers, depicting a fun Thanksgiving theme.
A maze illustrated in the shape of a turkey, featuring intricate labyrinth patterns throughout its body and feathers.

Of course, I have a buch of other Thanksgiving themed mazes too:

I suggest printing the mazes for guests to compete to see who can finish first while dinner is being cooked. I have my recipes tips & tricks for that too… as well as recipes Turkey Noodle Soup and Thanksgiving Sliders. I’ll even hit you right in the stuffing nostalgia.

Hey, this pumpkin maze works for Halloween and Thanksgiving if you ask me. And, you can get two versions of it on all kinds of stuff too:

You can get the full color orange one on stuff at TeePublic and at RedBubble. You can also get the black & white one on stuff at TeePublic. I thought that might look cool on an orange T-shit.

You can do all that while listening to my Thanksgiving Playlist too, on Amazon Music or whatever you listen to.

🍗 Have any suggestions for Thanksgiving recipes, songs, or mazes? I’m all ears. 🌽🌽 Hit me up in the comments!

Mushroom Meatloaf Mayhem


If you want beef, then bring the ruckus! My mushroom meatloaf ain’t nothin’ to ████ with.

With the likely chance of repeating myself, I like to make meatloaf different all the time. I make “normal” ones often, and made a crazy breakfast one one time. I think I have even crushed up Cheese⟐Its or Doritos in lieu of breadcrumbs. I blame Chopped. I forgot that I made one VERY similar to this not too long ago. The blog post was kind of sus as I was using LLM as I cooked to keep track of what I was did in hopes of having a coherent recipe for a post, & had 4 of them pop out interpretations of my recipe. I put the examples there. That may be overwhelming. I’ll do all the writing for this one. I sort of half-plan and wing it with meatloaf. This time I wanted to do some mashed potatoes & acorn squash with it too… so I did.

Two freshly baked meatloaves topped with cream of mushroom soup and crispy fried onions, resting on a sheet pan.
Mushroom Meatloaf Mayhem

This was an absurd amount of meatloaf, but I like leftovers and I’ll probably freeze some for later too. This is what I bought or had on hand this time. Most of my ingredients nowadays come from Aldi, & we do get some stuff at Giant Total Eagle.

I used a lot of processed ingredients, so I didn’t add any salt… other than what was in the season salt. I forget if we have McCormick or the Aldi brand. Of course you could use fresh mushrooms like I did last time… but this is what struck me to use this time. Also, you can use any kind of cheese or meat you want. If you don’t like, mushrooms, or onions… I will say “Bean Soup” to you and you can find other meatloaf recipes where they’re not the focus. If you don’t like meat… I would be interested to hear your suggestions for substitutions here.

You know… if I put shredded green beans in this, and maybe bacon pieces… it would be green bean casserole meatloaf. 🤯

Here are all the parts to the meal, and what I did to bring it all together at the same time…

The Mushroom Mayhem Meatloaf

Ingredients:

  • ½ stick unsalted butter (OK, maybe ¾)
  • A splash of EVOO.
  • A splash of milk.
  • ½ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup French-fried onions.
  • 2 4-oz. cans of mushrooms
  • 2 10.5-oz. cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • 1½ cups panko breadcrumbs
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 cup shredded Havarti cheese.
  • 2 tsp. jarred minced garlic (oh I know some of you hate it)
  • 4 lbs. ground beef (As it worked out I had exactly 4 lbs., 2.54 of 80/20 & 1.46 of 93/7.)
  • A1 (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)
  • Seasoned Salt (like Morton’s Season All, Lawry’s, or Stonemill to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • Ground Mustard (to taste)
  • Paprika (to taste)
  • 4 slices of cheap spongy white bread

Instructions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 375°.
  2. Drain & dice one can of mushrooms, dice the onion, and crunch up some of those french-fried onions to throw in there too.
  3. Hit the onion with garlic powder & onion powder.
  4. Melt some butter with a splash of EVOO on medium-high heat in a frying pan, then add the mushrooms & onions, sauté on medium-low for a while until the mushrooms are translucent & almost starting to caramelize. Toss in some of that minced garlic once it gets going. Set aside.
  5. Mix 1 can of the cream of mushroom soup, the breadcrumbs, about a ½ cup of the French fried onions, & 2 splashes of A1 in a bowl. (Would this count as a panade?)
  6. Whisk the eggs, the splash of milk, & all your spices in the bowl. Or use a fork. Be whimsical. Improvise.
  7. In a large mixing bowl, mix the ground beef, about ¾ of the sauteed mushrooms & onions, the sort-of panade, the egg mixture, about 1 cup of shredded Havarti, & another tsp. of that minced garlic. Mix it all up. (I started with a spoon spatula, then just used my hands.)
  8. Form the meatloaf into two loaves placed on top of the slices of white bread on a sheet pan. (You had that ready right? I mean, you read this all through before you started and knew you needed to have that ready before you got your hands all raw-meatloafy, right?)
  9. Sprinkle Seasoned Salt & whatever other spices you want on the top.
  10. Cover with foil, & put in the oven for about a ½ hour-ish? I cooked to temperature, not time. (The USDA says ground beef should hit 160° to prevent all kinds of potentially horrible things.)
  11. Mix together another can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, some more shredded Havarti, some French-fried onions, a small can of mushrooms, about half of what you have left of the sauteed onion/mushroom mix, & some A1 & spices.
  12. Open the oven, take the foil off, insert your thermometer probes, slather on the mixture, and slide it back in. Cook for about an additional hour. Maybe? (This is where I slid it to the side & popped in my golden acorn squash.)
  13. Take it out when it hits the 160°, let it rest for a bit, and have at it!

Notes:

  • I add whatever spices at each step as I go.
  • Of course, use fresh mushrooms or different onions, or whatever speaks to you.
  • Monitor your meatloaf, if cooling alone maybe do an hour covered, then uncover a bit, put in the probes, & slather the stuff on top later. I didn’t want to keep opening the oven.
  • I rarely measure when making stuff like this… these are suggestions at best.
  • I was originally going to make one long-ass loaf, but I decided on 2 smaller ones at the last minute. I should have put them side by side, not end to end.
  • Use a loaf pan or two if that’s your thing, or a glass baking dish, or whatever works for you. I like the freeform loaf on bread, it works for me. Just maybe don’t do feetloaf or faceloaf. Really, don’t do this.
  • I start with an empty dishwasher and just rinse & pop everything in there as I use it because I have a small kitchen.
  • You could rock out to Meatloaf while you make meatloaf. Or some Wu Tang.

Roasted Golden Acorn Squash

Ingredients:

  • 2 golden acorn squashes
  • 1 stick of butter
  • Paprika (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)
  • Brown Sugar (to taste)

Recipe:

  1. Your oven is already at 375° with the meatloaf above, right?
  2. Melt the butter, spices, & sugar in a microwave safe bowl.
  3. Cut the acorn squash in half with a sharp serrated knife from the stem to the tip on both sides, then pop it open.
  4. Scoop out the seeds & strings with a spoon.
  5. Score the insides with a cross-hatch pattern or whatever floats your boat.
  6. Put the 4 halves open side up in a glass baking dish in about ¼ of water.
  7. Try to evenly distribute the sugary melted butter in the centers, being sure to drizzle some on the top too. I used a small gravy ladle.
  8. Let it ride in the oven for about an hour or so, maybe an hour and 15 minutes. You want it to just slightly start to burn on the edges.

Notes:

  • If I was not sharing the oven with meatloaf, I probably would have put these in at 400° or 425°. I am here to tell you that recipes are merely suggestions and you are free to adapt on the fly and use your own free will.
  • Lots of recipes have you start acorn squash face down, then turn them over, do the hokey pokey & all that. I am here to tell you that you absolutely do not need to do all that. Save your time & energy for other meal prep or solving one of my mazes.
  • Use whatever spices or sweetener you like. I find maple syrup overpowering sometimes, but it is popular here. I actually in hindsight should have tried hot honey on one. It seems to be all the rage. Some cayenne would really work well here.
  • Instead of a cross-hatch pattern, you could make a face, carve a list of your enemies, or this.
  • Squashes sounds weird. Can squash itself be plural?

Nashed Tapaters N’ Gravy

This may be controversial. I like boxed instant mashed potatoes. They’re quick. I can control the consistency easily. They are a blank canvas upon which you can paint your flavorful dreams. On holidays? I am doing real potatoes. Typical dinner? Flakes are fine.

Mashed Potato Ingredients:

  • Boxed Mashed Potato Flakes
  • Milk
  • Butter
  • Beef Bouillon Cube
  • Shredded Havarti
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)

Mashed Potato “Recipe”:

  1. Make the potatoes according to the directions on the box. Their suggested serving sizes are a lie. Go big, or go home.
  2. I pop a beef bouillon cube or two in the water instead of the salt. It ties it in to the meatloaf nicely and adds salt & flavor.
  3. Stir in some shredded Havarti cheese at the end. Measure with your heart. Or your appendix. Whatever organ is speaking, just listen.
  4. Add some more butter.

Gravy Ingredients:

  • 1 brown gravy packet
  • 1 mushroom gravy packet
  • 1 4-oz. can of mushrooms
  • 1 10.5-oz. can condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • Some of those sauteed mushrooms & onions from waaay back up top
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)

Gravy “Recipe”:

  1. Mix the gravy packets both at once according to the directions on the pack… adding in your preferred spices.
  2. Once it is fully simmered & not clunky… pop the burner back up to medium and add in the soup, the canned mushrooms, and some of your sauteed onion & mushroom mix.
  3. Keep that going until it’s all heated through, you shouldn’t need to let it boil again. Let it rest a bit.

Notes:

  • I’m an anarchist when it comes to instant potatoes. Toss in buttermilk, sour cream, cheese, garlic… whatever you want. Use chicken stock or vegetable stock instead of water. I try to tie it in to the main dish.
  • You could make a gravy from scratch… but it’ll be almost the same stuff that’s in the packets. And, I wasn’t about to collect the drippings from the meatloaf to make a gravy like you would with a roast. 🤣

🍖🍄🧅🧀🥔

There you have it. What would you do differently? Have anything you picked up that you might try? What are your meatloaf go-to recipes, tips, & tricks? Have any other meatloaf styles, or do you do it straight-up old school ketchup glaze? Most importantly, what are you rocking out to as you make meatloaf?

Carbs. Cabbage. Canned Beef. | O’Luski


So, I was hungry for corned beef & cabbage, …and I was hungry for haluski. That’s cabbage n’ noodles for the non-Yinzers or those with no Eastern European heritage. I am not Polish by descent or any of the ethnicities that gave us wonderful gifts like pierogies, halupki or the one where cottage cheese is in with the cabbage & noodles. (What is that called again?) In the immortal words of the young lady from the taco shell commercial, “Why not both?”

I am a bit Irish according to my DNA analysis & my surname. If I understand it right… corned beef & cabbage is an Irish-American invention, as back in Ireland it would most certainly be bacon… and the corned beef may have been adopted from the Jewish community. Sometimes you have a hankering for the canned stuff, not a “real” corned brisket.

Typically, I’d probably make this all in the skillet… and these store-bought noodles are nowhere as good as the ladies cooking at a church carnival, but I can make due with what I could get from Aldi. I saw some stuff online suggesting to finish up haluski in the oven. So, why not?

Canned meat, Cabbage, Carbs. I present to you the hottest new trend in Irish-American/Polish Fusion cuisine; O’Luski.

I had ChatGPT help me put together a recipe after I described my method, I still had to tweak it thoiugh. It filled 2 glass 9″x13″ baking dishes. I only put the corned beef on top of one.

O’Luski: Pittsburgh Polish/Irish Cabbage n’ Noodle Corned Beef Casserole

Ingredients:

  • 1 small head green cabbage, cored and sliced
  • 2 medium onions, sliced
  • 16 oz. bag of wide egg noodles
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 2 cans corned beef
  • Salt, black pepper, paprika, onion powder, & garlic powder to taste.
  • 1 tsp. ham soup base
  • 1 cube chicken bouillon

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 300°F.
  2. Cook the egg noodles until tender in water with the ham soup base & chicken bouillon, drain, and toss with a couple tablespoons of butter. Set aside.
  3. While the noodles are cooking… Slice the canned corned beef, fry in a skillet on medium-high heat to crisp up the patties. Take them out & set aside. (I did crumble up a bit of the corned beef & leave it in the pan.
  4. Melt 1 stick butter in the same skillet over medium-low to medium heat. Add the onions and cook until starting to turn translucent to brown.
  5. Add the cabbage to the skillet with the other stick of butter, season with salt and pepper, and cook until tender and lightly caramelized.
  6. Combine the cooked noodles with the cabbage and onions, mixing well. Transfer the mixture to two buttered 9×13″ baking dishes.
  7. Scatter the crisped corned beef over the top. Bake uncovered at 300°F for 25–30 minutes. I put corned beef on top of one dish, and left the other just mostly cabbage & noodles.
  8. Let rest a few minutes before serving. Optionally, top with a final pat of butter for extra richness.

Notes:

  • I season with everything just about every step of the way… light on salt because of the corned beef & the bouillon. I probably used Mrs. Dash Table Blend too.
  • AI kept suggesting acid like vinegar or lemon juice. This is not the dish for that. 🤣 No caraway seeds either. This is comfort food.