Tag Archives: Cooking

Halloween Pasta w/ Butternut Squash Sauce

Posted on by Standard 1

OK, so this recipe is really inspired by or let’s say heavily borrowed from a recipe that I saw on a Barilla Campanelle box years ago. I saw some Reggano Halloween Shaped Pasta at Aldi recently, and I thought the butternut squash sauce would hit the right color and flavor for fall.

Reggano Halloween Shaped Pasta in a bowl. Pumpkins, bats, owns, spiders, & more in "regular" color, orange, and purple.

I’m not fancy enough for pancetta, so I used bacon pieces, and I skipped the balsamic vinegar and added a dash of heavy cream because why not? I didn’t measure anything, but here’s what I did;

Ingredients:

  • 1 bag Reganno Halloween Shaped Pasta (or whatever you have on hand, really).
  • ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
  • ⅓ cup bacon pieces
  • 1 small Onion chopped
  • 2 small butternut squash, cubed (It was about 8 cups)
  • 2 cups chicken broth
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • salt, pepper, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, Dash table blend to taste.

Method:

  1. Sauté onions & bacon pieces in the oil on medium-high heat until crispy. Use your seasonings here.
  2. Add the butternut squash and brown it up a bit. Seasonings again.
  3. Add in the chicken broth, and bring to a boil.
  4. Simmer for 10 to 15-ish minutes or until the squash gets soft.
  5. Process half of the sauce in the blender until smooth. (I used an immersion blender and did half of the sautee pan.)
  6. Add the heavy cream and give it a stir.
  7. Cook pasta according to directions and toss with or top with the sauce.

Notes:

  • I should have added some more crisped up bacon at the end.
  • Of course you could use & cook bacon or pancetta here. Or no meat.
  • Try the OG with the vinegar if that’s your thing.
  • I feel like roasting some butternut squash separately and adding it in would add some depth.
  • Hear me out… Roasted Brussels sprouts would work really well with this.

How would you do it? What are your butternut sqash recipes? Have any good pasta sauce recipes that aren’t marinara or alfredo?

Carbs. Cabbage. Canned Beef. | O’Luski

Posted on by Standard 1

So, I was hungry for corned beef & cabbage, …and I was hungry for haluski. That’s cabbage n’ noodles for the non-Yinzers or those with no Eastern European heritage. I am not Polish by descent or any of the ethnicities that gave us wonderful gifts like pierogies, halupki or the one where cottage cheese is in with the cabbage & noodles. (What is that called again?) In the immortal words of the young lady from the taco shell commercial, “Why not both?”

I am a bit Irish according to my DNA analysis & my surname. If I understand it right… corned beef & cabbage is an Irish-American invention, as back in Ireland it would most certainly be bacon… and the corned beef may have been adopted from the Jewish community. Sometimes you have a hankering for the canned stuff, not a “real” corned brisket.

A close-up shot of a casserole dish featuring cooked corned beef chunks resting on a bed of cabbage and noodles, with a golden layer of caramelized cabbage in the background.
A bowl of haluski featuring egg noodles, sautéed cabbage, and portions of canned corned beef.

Typically, I’d probably make this all in the skillet… and these store-bought noodles are nowhere as good as the ladies cooking at a church carnival, but I can make due with what I could get from Aldi. I saw some stuff online suggesting to finish up haluski in the oven. So, why not?

Canned meat, Cabbage, Carbs. I present to you the hottest new trend in Irish-American/Polish Fusion cuisine; O’Luski.

I had ChatGPT help me put together a recipe after I described my method, I still had to tweak it thoiugh. It filled 2 glass 9″x13″ baking dishes. I only put the corned beef on top of one.

O’Luski: Pittsburgh Polish/Irish Cabbage n’ Noodle Corned Beef Casserole

Ingredients:

  • 1 small head green cabbage, cored and sliced
  • 2 medium onions, sliced
  • 16 oz. bag of wide egg noodles
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 2 cans corned beef
  • Salt, black pepper, paprika, onion powder, & garlic powder to taste.
  • 1 tsp. ham soup base
  • 1 cube chicken bouillon

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 300°F.
  2. Cook the egg noodles until tender in water with the ham soup base & chicken bouillon, drain, and toss with a couple tablespoons of butter. Set aside.
  3. While the noodles are cooking… Slice the canned corned beef, fry in a skillet on medium-high heat to crisp up the patties. Take them out & set aside. (I did crumble up a bit of the corned beef & leave it in the pan.
  4. Melt 1 stick butter in the same skillet over medium-low to medium heat. Add the onions and cook until starting to turn translucent to brown.
  5. Add the cabbage to the skillet with the other stick of butter, season with salt and pepper, and cook until tender and lightly caramelized.
  6. Combine the cooked noodles with the cabbage and onions, mixing well. Transfer the mixture to two buttered 9×13″ baking dishes.
  7. Scatter the crisped corned beef over the top. Bake uncovered at 300°F for 25–30 minutes. I put corned beef on top of one dish, and left the other just mostly cabbage & noodles.
  8. Let rest a few minutes before serving. Optionally, top with a final pat of butter for extra richness.

Notes:

  • I season with everything just about every step of the way… light on salt because of the corned beef & the bouillon. I probably used Mrs. Dash Table Blend too.
  • AI kept suggesting acid like vinegar or lemon juice. This is not the dish for that. 🤣 No caraway seeds either. This is comfort food.

Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup w/ Ham n’ Cheese Beer Bread Sandwiches 🧀🥦🥣🍺🥓🍞

Posted on by Standard Reply

It’s cheeseception. I wanted to try that cheesy beer bread in some grilled ham & cheese sandwiches… and I needed some soup for the side, right? Why not up the cheese level with my old broccoli cheese soup or my potato soup? I thought the fiber from the broccoli may be beneficial. 😆

I altered the recipe a bit.

Golden roasted broccoli cheddar soup with pops of green and orange (from carrots) in a small white bowl with a spoon sitting beside a panini-grilled ham & cheese sandwich with cross-hatch lines on a white plate. It's all on a wooden counter top, beside a wooden cutting board,
Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup and a Cheesy Beer Bread Grilled Ham & Cheese Sandwich

I probably should have stuck with a traditional tomato soup to combat the absolute decadent richness, but this soup was pretty damn good. I want to try to make a roasted butternut squash soup eventually too… but not sure that would pair well with this sandwich?

I did spice-up my original broccoli cheese soup recipe. This could be a full meal, or a side to a nice turkey or roast beef sandwich. Recipe down below. That’s what I did this time. I’ll probably make it slightly different next time. Everyone does that, right?

As far as the sandwich, I just cooked some lunchmeat ham for a few seconds on the panini grill, sliced up the cheesy bear bread, buttered the outsides with softened butter, and stacked it with some individually wrapped cheese slices… cooked on high on the countertop grill to sear & melt it all at once. I should have gotten a side view, but I was hungry.

🥦🧀🥣 Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup | The Recipe

This is like my last recipe, but slightly altered.

Ingredients:

  • 2 sticks of butter
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or whatever kind you like)
  • 1 cup of flour
  • ½ cup of shredded carrots
  • ¼ cup of diced celery
  • ½ Spanish onion
  • 1 Tbsp. minced garlic
  • ½ tsp. ground mustard
  • ½ tsp. paprika
  • ½ tsp. onion powder
  • ½ tsp. garlic powder
  • ½ tsp. salt-free table blend seasoning
  • ¼ tsp. white pepper
  • Salt, black pepper, & dried parsley to taste
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 32 oz. box of chicken stock
  • 32 oz. box of vegetable broth
  • 12 oz. bottle or can of beer (I used Yuengling Traditional Lager.)
  • 2 tsp. Ham Broth Base (I used Orrinton Farms)
  • 3 bundles of fresh broccoli (chopped up into spoon-sized pieces)
  • ¼ cup of bacon pieces
  • 10 oz. block of extra sharp cheddar cheese (grated)
  • 10 oz. block of white cheddar cheese (grated)
  • ½ cup of parmesan cheese
  • 16 oz. block of Velveeta (cut onto small chunks)
  • 2 cup bag of shredded “mac & cheese blend” cheese

Method:

  1. Pre-heat oven to 425°, & do all your chopping/shredding/measuring.
  2. Toss about ⅔ of the broccoli, & a bit of carrots & bacon pieces in a bowl with salt, pepper, & oil to coat. Roast on a sheet pan for about 20 minutes.
  3. While that is going, melt butter on medium heat in the bottom of your stock pot, add celery, carrots, onions, garlic, & sauté for a bit.
  4. Mix all the spices with the flour, add to pot to make a roux and let it get a nice color brown.
  5. Add the beer slowly to the roux, then the boxes of stock, then the buttermilk.
  6. Add remaining ⅓ of broccoli & bacon pieces, bring to a boil, simmer for about 15 to 20 minutes.
  7. The roasted broccoli should be done, hold it until you have 5 min. left of simmering.
  8. Turn heat to low, stir in all that cheese. (I mixed it all into a bowl 1st)

Notes:

  • This was a different soup when roasting vs the last time. I could honestly go for either again.
  • I used whatever seasonings at every step as they struck me in addition to the measured amounts.
  • I did pop in a squirt of yellow mustard, too. Mustard is botanically related to broccoli, & acts as an emulsifier.
  • Fresh real bacon would be incredible here, maybe more of it… or even bits of cubed ham.
  • You could skip the beer & do 1½ cups of water with the ham bullion or Better Than Bouillon. I like to use Straub Amber to cook too.
  • I wonder if a red bell pepper would be good in this too?
  • This makes a large pot, so hope you like leftovers.
  • My apologies to vegans, the lactose-intolerant, and the dairy-allergic.

🥦🧀🥣

OK, so how would you make your broccoli cheddar soup? Can I call this broccoli cheddar when it also includes other kinds of cheese? What are your thoughts on the roasting? Would you try this? Do you have a broccoli cheese soup go-to recipe? How about any tips & tricks?

Campfire Cookin’!

Posted on by Standard 1

We recently went camping, and one of my favorite things to do when camping is cooking over a campfire. We did hobo packs the first night and mountain pies the second night. Both nights were a hit with the whole family.

I’ll show ya what we did if you tell me how you do it. Although, I did already solicit mountain pie recipes in 2018.

Hobo Packs over a campfire.
Hobo Pack on a plate!
Hobo Pack before cooking.
Hobo Pack after cooking.

Hobo Packs

Pretty much anything you throw in foil packet and toss over a campfire will work here. You can go right on the coals, but this was a recent fire, so I put them on a grate on top. There’s 2 layers of heavy duty foil here, but you don’t want it over a direct flame. These would work great on the grill too. I went for 30 minutes, flipped it, & let it go another 30 minutes.

I was looking for stew meat or cubed beef in the grocery store, but the Aldi on the way to the campground had beef that was marked as “Good for Carne Asada” and it looked perfect.

Ingredients:

  • Beef
  • Onion
  • White Mushrooms
  • Russet Potatoes
  • Red Bell Pepper
  • Orange Bell Pepper
  • Carrots
  • Zucchini
  • Butter
  • Spices!
    • Black pepper
    • Season salt
    • Onion powder
    • Garlic powder
    • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend

What would you put on yours?

Mountain Pies (Pizza & Italian Sub)

Mountain Pies

I have made mountain pies many different ways, but this time we went with the classic pizza ones, and some Italian sub ones for dinner. Everyone went rogue for dessert.

Mine were done up proper…

  • Pizza Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Pizza Sauce
    • Shredded Mozzarella
    • Pepperoni
    • Roasted Red Peppers
    • Black Olives
    • Mushrooms
  • Italian Sub Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Ham Lunch Meat
    • Salami Lunch Meat
    • Pepperoni
    • Turkey Lunch Meat
    • Sliced Provolone
    • Roasted Red Peppers
    • Black Olives
    • Italian Dressing
  • Banana Split Mountain Pie (This is the one I had!)
    • White bread
    • Jif Choclolate/Peanut Butter Spread
    • Sliced Banana
    • Mini Marshmallows
  • Strawberry Chocolate Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Sliced Strawberries
    • Hershey’s Choclolate
    • Powdered Sugar (on top)

In the past I’ve made Mountain Pie Reubens (on rye), baked bean pies, leftover vegetable soup (thickened up) pies, apple pies, peach pies, peanut butter cup pies, breakfast (eggs & ham) pies, and probably more. The possibilities are endless. Sloppy Joe? Chipped ham BBQ? Grilled cheese? Ham n’ cheese? Turkey melt? Cheesesteak? Hot PB&J? Hot dog & baked beans? Biscuit dough around something? How do you do yours?

Of course, this doesn’t cover all the possibilities of campfire cooking. There’s hot dogs, s’mores, campfire banana splits, campfire corn, baked potatoes, & more. What do you do over your campfires?

We recently had a blast at Forest Ridge Cabins & Campgrounds & would love to go back for more!

@aixelsyd13

Here’s the short edit! #canping #CooksForest #Marienville #PA @Forest Ridge Campground

♬ Acoustic Spring Kids Fun – Bratart

I’m actually contemplating getting a cheap electric countertop sandwich grill that seals the edges to make indoor mountain pies.

Beer Cheese Bread & Beer Cheese Dip! 🍻🧀🍞

Posted on by Standard 4

Apparently beer & cheese have been on my mind lately. I saw a post by @swampmuse on threads of some cheesy beer bread and it looked awesome. She was cool enough to share her recipe. That got me thinking about beer cheese dip because of the shared ingredients. I was in a cooking mood last night. I’ll definitely be making the bread again, and the cheese dip would be great for pretzels… so maybe new years or a cold October night?

They were good together. I wonder if beer cheese bread in beer cheese dip is meta, or merely going hard?

Cheesy Beer Bread & Beer Cheese Dip on a white plate.

I hardly drink any more, and the big bird was out of Yuengling bottle six packs & only had Straub Amber can 15 packs… so, I ended up with 2 big-ass 24 oz. cans of Yuengling Traditional Lager.

Cheesy Beer Bread (recipe by @swampmuse) 🧀🍺🍞

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of flour
  • 1 cup of shredded cheese
  • 2 Tablespoons of sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon of baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Parsley to desired taste
  • 1 can of beer (12 oz. or 1½ cups)
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter for the top later.

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Mix all ingredients gently.
  3. Bake for 45-50 minutes.
  4. Brush additional melted butter on top @ 35 minutes.

Notes: I’m a dumbass, I left all the butter for the end when I should have mixed it in. Next time! I may have went heavy on my pinch of salt, too. I did brush all the butter on at 35 minutes, & it went for another 15 minutes, & was perfect. I think I will also sprinkle some additional shredded cheese on the top at the 35 min. mark… because, I mean… why not?

This would be great with a hearty soup. Broccoli Cheese Soup, Potato Soup, Chili, or Nine Can Vegetable Soup perhaps? Or a nice meatloaf. (Or a crazy meatloaf.)

My 10 year old said he “thought it was going to be gross because it looked all bumpy” but was an immediate fan upon tasting.

Cheesy Bear Bread - in a glass loaf pan on a stove top that needs cleaned.
Cheesy Bear Bread - a slice on a plate

Thank you so much to @swampmuse for the original post, the inspiration, and the recipe!

Beer Cheese Dip 🍺🧀

I had this on my mind, looked at a bunch or recipes online, and just winged it.

Ingredients:

  • 1 16 oz. block of Velveeta
  • 1 8 oz. block of cream cheese
  • 1 cup beer
  • 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
  • 1 cup shredded Gouda
  • ground mustard to taste
  • white pepper to taste
  • yellow mustard to taste

Instructions:

  1. Cube up the Velveeta & cream cheese, put it in a crock pot on high.
  2. Toss on the mustard powder & white pepper to taste, add a dollop of yellow mustard.
  3. Stir it every 10 min. or so until it’s melty.
  4. Add in the beer, stir.
  5. Add in the shredded cheese, stir.
  6. Stir.
  7. Be incredibly patient.
  8. Stir.

Notes: It takes longer than you think & looks weird until it hits that “just right” point. This is probably a different time estimate for every appliance. You could obviously do this in a sauce pan or double boiler if that’s what you’ve got. The mustard is an emulsifier and helps with smoothness. I picked white pepper over garlic or hot sauce as other recipes noted. I also skipped Worcestershire sauce as some recommended as it can contain anchovies, and weirdly anchovies can trigger shellfish allergies. Dropping some jalapeño or poblano from the garden into this also would have been pretty killer.

If I ever make pretzel bites again, this is a must.

Beer Cheese Dip - gooey melty goodness too close for comfort.
BEER & the Star Wars Mini Crock Pot

Overall, these recipes are just a guide, and you can go all anarchy on them. What kind of beer do you like to cook with? What kind of cheese or spices would you add or swap out for? And, what would you dip in it? Would you did the cheesy beer bread in the beer cheese dip? Got any recommendations on either recipe?

🍻🧀🍺🍞🍻

While you’re making or eating these, consider rocking out to these playlists…

I was jamming out to this one.

Biscuit Dough Pretzel …Blobs?

Posted on by Standard 5

The algorithm wanted me to try the canned biscuit dough pretzel bites. It kept coming up. I kept clicking. I posted about it on social media asking questions. I looked at recipes online. They all had different methods! Are these people even trying their own recipes? They’re wildly different.

As far as my pretzel tastes: I like Auntie Anne’s the best, SuperPretzel is the gold standard, and Philly Pretzel Factory is passable.

A table laying out the different methods of prepping pretzel bites with egg wash, butter, boiling in baking soda, or just a baking soda bath.
Crazy Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blob Table

I decided to try some different methods, & bounce it off of AI to get a cooking time/temp. I put the following into Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity:

Hello.  I have seen many recipes for pretzel bites made from pre-made canned biscuit dough online.  There are so many variations, I was wondering if you could recommend one singular method as to time and temperature.  I would like to bake them in the oven.  My oven has traditional, convection, and air fry settings.  Can you suggest a time, temperature, and setting?

Also, I am having trouble deciding if boiling in baking soda water, or just coating in baking soda water is the way to go.  Also, what is the best ratio of water to baking soda?

And, I hear egg wash and just a melted butter wash are good ways to coat them before baking.  Would you use the whole egg, or just the whites or yolks?  Can you do both?

I am tempted to bake pretzels in 4 quadrants, one quarter each of them in the following combos;

  • Boiled in baking soda water / Egg wash.
  • Boiled in baking soda water / Melted butter.
  • Coated in baking soda water / Egg wash
  • Coated in baking soda water / Melted butter

Do you think that would solve most of my questions?  Can you put together the baking time & temp, and baking soda solution measurements and boiling or coating times?

Here’s what they said:

Here's a breakdown of how to make delicious pretzel bites from biscuit dough: 1. Baking Soda Solution: Water: 8 cups Baking Soda: 1/2 cup 2. Boiling vs. Coating: Boiling: Bring the baking soda solution to a rolling boil in a large pot. Carefully drop in a few pretzel bites at a time for 30 seconds. Use a slotted spoon to remove them and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Coating: In a shallow dish, combine the baking soda and water. Dip each pretzel bite into the solution to coat completely. Let excess drip off before placing them on the prepared baking sheet. 3. Egg Wash vs. Butter Wash: Egg Wash: Whisk together 1 large egg with 1 tablespoon of water. Brush generously over the pretzel bites. Butter Wash: Melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Brush evenly over the pretzel bites. 4. Baking: Oven Setting: Convection Bake is generally recommended for even cooking. Temperature: 400°F (200°C) Time: 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. 5. Your 4-Quadrant Experiment: Your idea of baking four batches with different combinations is a fantastic way to compare and find your favorite! Here's a summary: Quadrant 1: Boiled in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 2: Boiled in baking soda water + Melted butter Quadrant 3: Coated in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 4: Coated in baking soda water + Melted butter Tips & Considerations: Biscuit Dough: Use your favorite brand or make your own! Shape: You can shape the biscuit dough into balls, twists, or any other desired shape. Salt: Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing with the egg or butter wash. Cooling: Let the pretzel bites cool on a wire rack before serving. Enjoy your homemade pretzel bites! I hope this comprehensive guide helps you create the perfect batch. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Gemini’s Answer
You’ve got a great experiment in mind! Let’s break this down and get you set up for pretzel bite perfection. Here's a streamlined approach to your method and testing: Baking Instructions Preheat oven: Convection setting: 400°F (best for even browning and crispiness). Traditional oven: 425°F (slightly higher temp compensates for lack of air circulation). Baking time: 8–12 minutes. Start checking at 8 minutes. Pretzel bites should be golden brown and puffed. Baking Soda Water Solution Ratio: 4 cups water to 1/4 cup baking soda. This concentration gives the pretzel flavor and helps create a chewy, golden crust. Method: Boiling: Bring the solution to a boil. Boil the dough pieces for 20–30 seconds per batch, flipping halfway. Drain on a wire rack before coating. Coating: Dip the dough pieces in the baking soda solution for about 15–20 seconds, then place them directly on the baking sheet. Washes Egg wash: Use one whole egg, whisked with 1 teaspoon of water for a shiny and slightly firmer crust. (Egg whites alone will give more shine but less flavor; yolks alone will create a deeper color but softer finish.) Melted butter: Brush after baking for a rich, soft finish. Optionally, sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing. Your Experiment: Quadrant Plan Here’s how to organize the quadrants: Pretreatment Wash Notes Boiled Egg wash Classic shiny pretzel crust. Boiled Butter Rich, soft crust with chew. Coated Egg wash Less chewy but still glossy. Coated Butter Softest, richest option. Steps for Your Test Divide the biscuit dough into even pieces (about 1 inch each). Prepare the baking soda solution. Treat the dough using your boiling and coating methods. Place the treated dough pieces on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Apply your chosen washes to the corresponding groups. Bake on convection at 400°F for 8–12 minutes. Post-Bake Notes Once baked, taste-test the results. The differences in texture, shine, and flavor between the methods should help you decide your favorite! Let me know how the experiment goes—I’d love to hear about your results!
GhatGPT’s Answer
Answer I'll help you navigate the best method for making biscuit pretzel bites based on the search results. Recommended Baking Method Temperature: 425°F Setting: Traditional oven setting Baking Time: 8-15 minutes (until deep golden brown) Baking Soda Solution The most consistent recommendation is to fully boil the biscuit pieces in a baking soda bath, not just coat them. The recommended ratio is: 4 cups water 1/4 to 1/2 cup baking soda Boiling Process Bring water to a boil Dissolve baking soda completely Boil biscuit pieces for 15-20 seconds Use a slotted spoon to remove pieces Coating Options For the best results, I recommend using an egg wash. Here's why: Egg wash provides a more golden, glossy finish You can use the whole beaten egg Alternatively, you can use melted butter Experimental Approach Your idea of baking four quadrants with different methods is excellent. This will help you determine the best technique. Here's a structured approach: Quadrant Baking Soda Treatment Coating Expected Result 1 Boiled Egg wash Likely best traditional pretzel texture 2 Boiled Melted butter Softer, more buttery finish 3 Coated Egg wash Less authentic pretzel texture 4 Coated Melted butter Least pretzel-like Pro Tips Cut each biscuit into 4-9 pieces Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after coating Serve immediately for best taste and texture
Perplexity’s Answer

I’ll try to link to the full answers here too, as I did keep all 3 conversations going for a bit with different queries.

They looked OK for the most part. I had two cans of pre-made biscuit dough, both were Pillsbury Grands Southern Homestyle. One was Butter Tastin’, one was Buttermilk. Butter Tastin’ was tray 1, Buttermilk was tray 2. I tried all the things. Baked at 425° for 8 minutes. The boiled ones puffed up a bit, I only let them go for 15 seconds using Alexa as my timer, as I read that boiling too long in the baking soda can give you a metallic taste. The baking soda bath was in warm water… I only left them in for as long as it took me to boil the other ones. I did forget to put salt on until halfway through cooking. I used the coarse salt grinder.

A photo of 64 pretzel bites made form pre-made biscuit dough across two trays (& parchment paper) & a few cooking methods.
Pre-Made Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blobs by AiXeLsyD13

I broke each quadrant down & gave it a letter, & a really short summary…

8 pretzel bites on a plate, labeled A through H.
Absolute 🥨 Shenanigans
  • A | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – Most pretzel-like texture. Needed baked a bit more.
  • B | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Seemed like crunchy biscuits.
  • C | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Tasted burnt-ish.
  • D | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Straight up biscuit.
  • E | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – The outside was very pretzely.
  • F | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Close to a pretzel. -ish.
  • G | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Good… but crunchy. Maybe baked less time?
  • H | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Very biscuit-like.

So, that was a thing. Definitely going boiled, & egg wash next time. May seek out some coarse salt or pretzel salt. I may try it at 400° on the convection setting for 8 minutes, or a little longer on the regular setting at 425°. Also, may try cooking on a baking rack & cooling on a cooling rack. I may go got more traditional biscuit dough too, instead of what I had. At the end of the day, these all tasted great dipped in some Herlocher’s. I just wish I had some beer left, but I used my last can of Straub Amber making BBQ pulled pork sandwiches (and rocking out) today. Also, gotta try some with cheese in the middle, right?

Also, I know they’re not perfect yet, but these AI chat bots can REALLY help consolidate / create recipes pulled from so many online sources. It seems like you can search for 5 recipes, & get 7 different cooking times & temperatures at the very least. Then, like my stuff, if there’s no “Jump to Recipe” button, you gotta use Cooked.Wiki, JustTheRecipe.com, or Just The Recipe. As of now, the AI bots are not riddled with advertising and paid ad placement/rankings. They all have their strengths & weaknesses.

Here’s where you hit me up in the comments and/or on social media with your tried-and-true pretzel & pretzel bite methods. I’m not really all that super interested in making dough, so that’s why the canned dough piqued my interest. And, have you used AI prompts for cooking or anything else interesting lately?

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Chipped Ham BBQ Mac & Chips?

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, if you already have the best Chipped Ham BBQ recipe of all time, you may want to try this absolute garbage pile of over-processed comfort food.

I posted it on a few spots, but it garnered the most attention in a private food group. It also got me Zucked by Meta AI bots for calling it “ωнιтє тяαѕн ηα¢нσѕ.”

I also posted it on Threads but haven’t got the widget to embed that here, yet. Hopefully it just becomes a feature soon. Maybe BlueSky too?

https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1857836395252896057

Conagra Ruins Christmas.

Posted on by Standard 1

Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.

Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Nov 19 And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page: https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 19 Thank you for the reply. I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever. Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you? Did anyone at least try the maze? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror

Posted on by Standard 7

Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years: