What’s the non copyrighted or trademarked name for Beefaroni?


I’m gonna call it beefaroni anyway, because these names are just ridiculous:

The dish commonly sold as “Beefaroni” (a trademarked name owned by Conagra Brands) has several regional and generic names. Depending on where you are in the US, the most common non-trademarked names for this ground beef and macaroni tomato skillet are American Goulash, American Chop Suey, Slumgullion, or Johnny Marzetti. [1, 2, 3]

Right?

A white bowl full of homemade beefaroni - spiraling pasta with ground beef.
Boy are deez tasty.

At any rate, I was hungry for it… and I am not a fan of the Chef Boyardee stuff/ (Sorry, Chef!) We would have this occasionally when I was growing up, and it’s a comfort meal I guess. It’s easy enough, and safe for the beef part these days, pretty economical.

Below is how I do it. How do you do it, & what do you call it?

Stuff yinz need:

How to do it:

  1. Bring 4 quarts water to boil in a stock pot, ad the bouillon cubes, Italian blend, & Dash.
  2. Brown the ground beef in your skillet, hit it will all those spices… or whatever you got or like. We don’t measure here. Season until you think it’s too much, then keep going a little bit.
  3. Drop that Cavatappi or whatever pasta shape you dig into that water for 7 minutes or the recommended time on the box. Make sure you stir it up every once in a while.
  4. Drain the pasta, leave a lil’ bit of pasta water, return it to the warm yet off burner.
  5. Dump in the ground beef, the tomato soup, and stir like you practiced with the pasta.
  6. Put it in a bowl and eat it.

Notes?

  • Yeah, tomato soup! Not tomato sauce, pasta sauce, tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, or any of that for me. This is cheap.
  • Obviously if you would prefer any of that, do it.
  • Sauteed onions, diced tomatoes, some type of beans, or even bell peppers would probably be great in this.
  • This is a memory I’m not messing with though. I’m keeping it basic and cheap.

There you have it. I know it hit the spot for me.

A close-up photo of a pot containing delicious spiraling cavatappi pasta with ground beef covered in condensed tomato soup.  It's red and warm image overall.
Comfort Food / Struggle Meal

Pizza Pockets


So, a while back I made some things, and I don’t know if they were calzones or stromboli because no one can seem to fully agree on the definitions of either. Yes, I know definitions exist, but restaurants are all over out here calling them the wrong thing and people will confidently give you their contradicting hyper-regional opinions as gospel. Maybe it’s a turnover? I like alliteration, so Pizza Pocket it is.

[ Just The Recipe | Cooked Wiki | Only the Recipe ]

The first ones I made were not pretty. They were more half-moon shaped, one was not sealed well. They were delicious, but not awesome. I used pizza dough balls from Aldi and I did not do a great job stretching it.

This time I made some for lunch, and they looked pretty good. I put fillings in to order for each of us, and put our initials on top so they didn’t get mixed up. I got a resounding seal of approval on these, so I’m putting it here to make it again.

A top-down view of a parchment paper lined baking sheet holding four large, crispy, golden-brown pizza pockets. Each pocket features a personalized family initial carved into the top crust to identify the different fillings, with hints of glorious melted cheese peeking through.
Pizza Pockets!

Here’s what I used:

  • Giant Eagle pizza dough pop-tube
  • Jarred pizza sauce
  • Shredded Italian blend cheese
  • Shredded Mozzarella cheese
  • Parmesan cheese (the powdery shake kind)
  • 2 eggs
  • ½ stick butter
  • “Toppings:” (Fillings?)
    • canned mushroom stems & pieces
    • canned black olive slices
    • jarred roasted red peppers
    • diced ham
    • mini pepperoni
  • Spices:
    • garlic powder
    • onion powder
    • paprika
    • Italian blend
    • parsley
    • Dash table blend

Here’s how I made them:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° (Or if you’re weird like me, preheat it to 425° then crank it down to 400° after you put the food in.)
  2. Put down some parchment paper on a large baking sheet because washing dishes sucks.
  3. Put any wet toppings like the mushrooms, olives, & red pepper on a paper towel or two do drain & dry off a bit.
  4. Melt the butter in a microwavable bowl, add in spices to taste.
  5. Crack the eggs into another bowl, whisk (or fork), and add spices again.
  6. Pop open the scary dough tubes with a spoon, roll them out, and cut them in half the short way.
  7. Put down the Italian cheese blend on half of the half. I didn’t measure, but I did use the whole bag. Leave room on the edges so you can seal the dough.
  8. Spoon on a very little bit of the pizza sauce.
  9. Add your preferred toppings, keeping track of who gets what. I took ’em all!
  10. Sprinkle some parmesan cheese.
  11. Top with a little bit of Mozzarella.
  12. Hit the edges with some egg wash.
  13. Fold over the dough to make a nice rectangle, and use a fork to crimp the 3 “open” edges.
  14. Brush the egg wash on top, then brush the melted butter on top of that.
  15. Add extra spices on top if you think it needs it, and go for more parmesan too.
  16. Cut slits in the top shaped like everyone’s initials so you know whose is whose.
  17. Pop that in the oven at 400° for 20 minutes and you get what I got in the picture.

Suggestions/Substitutions/Advice:

  • I measure with my heart. You should too. Trust your judgement. Season until your ancestors tell you to stop.
  • It’s also fun to make mountain pies (if you have a campfire going) or pizza grilled cheese.
  • You could get fancy and do all kinds of stuff like green peppers, pepperoncini, sausage, onion, Ricotta, anchovies, spinach, basil, whatever.
  • Of course use whatever dough or cheese fits your fancy, fits your budget, or is simply what’s available.
  • You can skip the pizza sauce. I also wouldn’t overdo it… you want vents up top to let steam out so it doesn’t stay too wet.

So, do you make something similar? I am way too impatient to make dough, and I seem to even be too impatient to stretch a dough ball properly. These rolled canned tube things were perfect.

Hit me up on the comments or social media replies with some conversation:

  • What would your toppings of choice be?
  • Is this a Calzone, Stromboli, turnover, or what?
  • What would you do different?

Regardless, when making a pizza, calzone, stromboli, you gotta listen to my Punk Rock Pizza Party playlist. Oh and, hey… Did you try and make a meatball club yet? You don’t have to do stuff the same boring way as everyone else. If you did make one, you should get a T-shirt (or at least a button).

I will continue to make weird stuff, and leave pizza to the experts. You could wear this T-shirt while you make pizza 0r eat pizza.

Pizza Crawl! 🍕🍕🍕 [The Carroll Clan Cut Crawl?]


I got it in my head a while ago that I wanted to try some local pizza places back-to-back, and three of my favorites are super close to each other, so… why not? I set out to get 1 slice each from Beto’s, Slice on Broadway (in Beechview), & Badamo’s (in Dormont). They are all less than 2 miles apart, so it was only a few minutes from one to the other.

Instead of a Birthday dinner, we made this my birthday lunch, albeit a few days early. I have a problem with loving alliteration. Should this be dubbed the Carroll Clan Cut Crawl?

I’m not that guy that talks about one-bite rules or pizza flop, so I’ll rate all of these a 13/13. I think there are so many styles and recipes for pizza, they all deserve a spot at the table and some respect.

A cut from Beto's | A slice of cheesy pizza with a thick layer of unmelted shredded cheese in a takeout box, resting on parchment paper.
3 cheese cuts from Beto’s

🍕 Beto’s$1.92/cheese slice | If you can’t get your head around Ohio Valley Style… I get it. But, it’s worth figuring out. I don’t put it in the same class as these New York Style pies, but there is room for many styles of pizza in this world. Beto’s is an institution. They are always packed. This stuff is a hit with me. It is simple, the crust is thick and square like Sicilian style with a savory sauce. The Provolone is just perfect, and the decision to leave it uncooked is wild but it works. I mean, you can ask them to cook it, but why? I got a small Mug root beer from the fountain. I love it. My son loves it, my wife is on the fence, and my daughter is not a fan (she got the mozzarella sticks). My son said Beto’s is his far & away favorite.

A slice from Slice on Broadway | A slice of cheese pizza on a metal tray, featuring a golden-brown crust and melted cheese with a slightly crispy edge.
A slice from Slice on Broadway

🍕 Slice on Broadway$3.50/cheese slice | They claim it’s NYC style pie made by Yinzers. I have never had a slice of pizza in NY, but I hope for New York’s sake it’s as good as this. The sauce is ever so slightly sweet… not overly sweet, but it hits. The crust is crispy and doughy. The cheese is absolutely just right. It was so nice & warm on a cold day… and it hits the spot consistently every time, even across different locations. I paired it with a Boylan’s Birch Beer. I ordinarily like to get it with Ricotta & meatball here. My daughter, son, & wife all loved it as usual. Of course I loved it too. I think Slice was my wife & daughter’s favorite.

A slice from Badamo's
A slice from Badamo’s

🍕 Badamo’s $2.50/cheese slice | So much love and attention to the craft goes into this pie! Anthony & the people that work there are just incredibly cool and super welcoming. I opted for Pepperoni this time, but my son was getting full so I ended up eating his cheese slice too. The sauce is savory and delicious, it’s not sweet but it’s not acidic. The crust has an entirely different feel & taste than anyone else around. It’s delicious and perfectly crispy. I really need to try their Sicilian style too! The pepperoni is small and delicious without taking over. On regular trips, I like the Ricotta & basil. I paired it with a carton of Turner’s iced tea. My wife & daughter really liked this one, my son nope’d out for being full, and I loved it enough to have two slices. (Hey, listen to Black Tie Revue!)

All in all, to me the nearly side-by-side comparison was super fun, and confirmed that they’re all great pizza that can stand on their own, or stand together. It was a cool afternoon activity with the family & everyone was enthusiastic about the mini adventure.

Of course I have a Punk Rock Pizza Party 🍕 playlist on Amazon Music & Spotify. You can import it to your preferred service too.

We are lucky to have so many great independent & small chain pizza shops in the area with a wide variety of styles and flavors. I remember the first time trying Beto’s and I took it back to the old apartment in Dormont & the cheese was sort-of half-melted and it was just perfect. I remember when Slice opened and we checked it out and it was absolutely delicious. I remember going to A’Pizza Badamo in Mt. Lebanon before it moved to Dormont and absolutely loving their pie & the great people.

Of course, there are great spots all over in & around the city… but I kept this Crawl tight. If you did a pizza crawl, which spots would you hit? Bonus points for keeping them within say a 5 mile radius! Would you do more than 3? Could you?

Crafty-Kraft Creamy Baked Mac n’ Cheese


I have had it in my head for a while now that I wanted some of the homestyle creamy baked mac n’ cheese. Inspiration hit with the snow coming down today, wanting some comfort food, so I just did it. I had been wondering if you could use a box of Kraft as the start to “good” mac & cheese, too. I had some stuff in the ‘fridge & pantry to make it happen. Posting it here to remember what I did.

I didn’t really measure, but this is close…

Ingredients:

  • 2 boxes Kraft mac & cheese (noodles & powder packets)
  • ½ cup butter & ¼ cup butter (for later)
  • ½ cup flour
  • 1 block sharp cheddar cheese (16 oz.?), grated
  • 4 cubed chunks (approx. 1″ cubes) of Velveeta (I used the Aldi version)
  • 1 cup shredded colby jack cheese
  • 2½ cups 2% milk
  • ½ cup half & half
  • ¾ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ¾ plain breadcrumbs
  • yellow mustard (a dash)
  • ground mustard (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • white pepper (to taste)
  • salt (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • table blend salt-free seasoning (to taste)

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350° F.
  2. Boil the pasta in some water with bit of salt, for about 5 minutes… the time on the box overcooks them.
  3. Melt ½ cup butter in a cause pan on medium, stir in the flour (season it here), cook 2 or 3 min. until golden.
  4. Slowly stir in milk & half & half. (Season it here too.)
  5. Slowly stir in the grated sharp cheddar & chunks of Velveeta. I put the squirt of mustard in here. (Season it here too.)
  6. Slowly stir in one of the cheese powder packets from the Kraft box. (Season it here too.)
  7. Drain the pasta when it’s done while you’re doing all that, then put it in an 8″x8″ glass baking dish.
  8. Stir in your cheese sauce. (If I understand correctly, that was a roux, then a béchamel, then a mornay… right?) Season it again if you nasty, and you’re reading this, so I know you are.
  9. Melt the ¼ cup of butter in a small bowl with a handle. (Season it here too.)
  10. Stir the breadcrumbs, the other Kraft cheese packet, & the table blend seasoning into the butter bowl.
  11. Sprinkle the shredded colby jack on top of the cheese n’ macaroni.
  12. Spread the buttery cheesy breadcrumbs on that.
  13. Pop it in the oven for like 18 minutes.

Notes:

  • I popped it in for 20 minutes, and while the breadcrumbs got a little overdone, they weren’t quite burnt. I may cover it in foil for a bit next time, or put the breadcrumbs on after a bit of cooking?
  • I’ll use a bullion cube in with the macaroni next time. I do that with pasta a lot but was worried the Kraft cheese packets may be salty, they weren’t as bas as I expected.
  • I needed some grated parmesan shake cheese, but didn’t use any because I couldn’t find it. Ha ha.
  • What about crushed Cheeze-Its instead of breadcrumbs? What about bacon pieces in there?

Have you done this? Obviously I could just use regular pasta & forgo the Kraft powdered cheese sauce concoction. Got any tips or tricks? If you say nutmeg or cinnamon you can see yourself all the way out.

Share your thoughts in the comments!

S.O.S. | The Recipe!


…—… Shit on a Shingle …—…

10/10, would recommend.

Shit on a Shingle
Shit on a Shingle
  • ½ lb. of Pastrami
  • ½ cup (1 stick) butter
  • ½ cup flour
  • 3 cups milk.
  • Toast.

I know dried chip beef is the norm, but it’s so damn salty. If I use that I rinse it off. The jarred stuff is wildly expensive & the lil’ Buddig packs have like 2 slices of meat. (This “½ lb.” was only 7 oz., thanks Hillshire Farms & shrinkflation!)

I added black pepper, onion powder, Mrs. Dash table blend, paprika, & ground mustard. Of course. You do you & add what you like.

  1. Melt your butter on high in a pan on the stove top.
  2. Chop & add the beef as it’s melting.
  3. Crank it down to medium-high.
  4. Toss in the flour, brown it in the butter to cook off the flour taste.
  5. Add a cup of milk, stir until thick.
  6. Add the 2 leftover cups of milk, cook until it thickens… it will thicken more upon standing.
  7. If you need instructions for toast, please Google it.

🍞

I put the recipe before the story for all you “I DoN’T WaNt tO ReAd yOuR LiFe sToRy, JuSt gIvE Me tHe rEcIpE!” people. Fancy people call this Chipped Beef on Toast and polite people call it S.O.S., I call it “Shit on a Shingle.”

I think traditionally, shit on a shingle is served with dried chipped beef. I have used the jarred Armor or Hormel and the packet of Buddig stuff in the past. I like the pastrami, but corned beef, roast beef, or whatever you want would work. Go crazy with ham, turkey, chicken, venison, bison, elk, rabbit, squirrel, or whatever tickles your tastebuds.

I use the term traditionally loosely, as I have heard others claim it should be made with ground beef. It seems to be a military thing. It may change depending on your branch of service, the time when you served, and the region?

Some unhinged people may even add cheese… and someone on threads said they add peas. I like creamed peas, so why not? We used to have creamed canned asparagus over toast. Sometimes the asparagus was fresh and we used cream-of asparagus condensed soup to make the sauce.

This really isn’t much different from sausage and gravy over biscuits. I prefer bacon to sausage… so I have made bacon in the oven, collected the drippings, & used that instead of butter or sausage drippings to make the gravy for serving over some biscuits.

Perhaps the term shit on a shingle may be like “pigs in a blanket” and mean vastly different things to different people.

I would guess you could make the sauce from corn starch instead of flour if you wanted to have a gluten-free or wheat-free option or alternative? This seems easily adaptable to vegetarian or vegan needs subbing in peas or asparagus.

How do you do your shit on a shingle?

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?


This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

The Meatball Club


So, yesterday I made spaghetti with homemade meatballs. Today, I wanted a meatball sub. I was thinking I still had some good buns from New Year’s day. They were not good. I had already melted the butter. The store-brand white bread was calling to me. A sandwich? No, a club.., Something worthy of shenanigans.

The Meatball Club:  A double-decker meatball sandwich on toasted white bread, teeming with tasty sauce & melted Gruyere and Swiss cheese.
Behold: The Meatball Club

It seemed to be a hit on various social media platforms, so I thought I’d share the love. If you make one, please, post the photo, tag me (@AiXelsyD13 on just about everything), and let me know how it was!

The Meatballs:

I have shared my meatball ingredient secrets a quadruple of times:

I generally don’t measure, and make them different every time. This time I fried them on medium-high in a large pan on the stove & a tiny bit of EVOO.

The Sauce:

OK, gonna level with you. I am not Italian. This is going to make some people mad. I use jarred sauce. This was the cheap Aldi stuff. Usually we get that or the Prego Three Cheese. I add brown sugar & Parmesan/Romano shake cheese. Sometimes, I even add shopped garlic, onion powder, or “Italian Seasoning.” This time it was just brown sugar and cheese. I don’t measure. I toss a little in with abandon. I like the sweetness & it cuts the acid.

The Club:

Get your stuff…

  • ¼ stick butter
  • Garlic powder
  • Onion powder
  • Parsley or (Italian Seasoning)
  • 6 or so leftover meatballs.
  • Shredded cheese (I had Gruyere & Swiss, but I would probably go for Mozzarella or Provolone, but the stuff I had was fantastic.)
  • “Shake Cheese” I had the cheap Giant Eagle brand Parmesan/Romano blend.
  • Three pieces of white bread.

Do it…

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 390° on the air fryer setting.
  2. Melt the butter w/ garlic powder, onion powder, & parsley to taste in a microwave save bowl in 30 second intervals, stirring in between until it’s a liquid.
  3. Put the bread on a baking dish, brush on the melted butter after a good stir. (I just did the top sides.)
  4. Air fry for 2 minutes, & it gets almost crispy on top, the bottom was nice and toasted.
  5. While you’re doing that nuke the meatballs & sauce on a microwave safe plate for 2 min. (or longer if needed.)
  6. Pull the toast out. (I cut the meatballs in half with a spoon then scooped them and the sauce on to two of the slices of bread.)
  7. Top the meatballs with the shredded cheese.
  8. Put the “shake cheese” on the 3rd slice of bread.
  9. Put it back in on air fry for for 4 or 5 minutes.
  10. Pull it out, assemble it like a tower of gluttony, then slice it diagonally with a giant serrated bread knife for dramatic effect.
  11. Take a photo to share & make people hungry.

That’s it. It took a little bit of time & prep, but it was worth it.

Notes:

  • If you cook & have your own meatball or sauce recipe, of course do that.
  • Use whatever kind of cheese you want, shredded, or sliced, or whatever.
  • I would guess you can use the oven on 375°-ish on a regular setting for a bit longer times, or a counter top air fryer.
  • You could also probably do all of it in the air fryer from cooking the meatballs to melting the butter if you have the appropriate vessels.
  • If you slice it in rectangles and not triangles, you are a psychopath.

Discussion:

  • If you’re out of sausage or sub buns, or hot dog buns, what are you using? Pita? Tortilla? Soft Pretzel? Dinner Rolls? Bisquick? Crescent roll dough?
  • Please, tell me in the comments how wrong it is to use jarred sauce or add brown sugar.
  • Share with me your meatball secrets.
  • Do you like the powdery shake cheese or the fancy stuff?
  • Do you make a forbidden sandwich? What is it?
  • Is this a Meatball Club, or a Meatball Melt?

This is why I had leftover meatballs:

Conagra Ruins Christmas.


Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.


Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Nov 19
And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page:  https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces

Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 19
Thank you for the reply.  I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever.  Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you?

Did anyone at least try the maze?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

Teriyaki Stuff


I absolutely love the flavors in Asian food, but because of my shellfish allergy, I rarely dine at those types of restaurants because of ingredients like oyster sauce or brine shrimp as seasoning and cross contamination. I even had friends that once ordered “vegetarian” egg rolls that contained crab meat. I think it was a perfect storm of a language issue and a culture issue.

I posted this photo of a dish we make often on social media, and was asked for the recipe. I figured I would share it here too! It’s more of a method maybe than an exact recipe. My wife usually makes it with chicken instead of beef and without the chick peas.

  1. Made 4 cups  of instant rice according to the box, instead of salt in the water I used 1 teaspoon of beef bullion, set aside.
  2. Sear the steaks on high on a flat pan that can go into the oven – coat w/ EVOO, salt & pepper… about 2 minutes a side.
  3. Place a pat of butter on each steak, place in oven at 400° for about 10 minutes.
  4. Cook the chick peas in a bit of EVOO, maybe medium-high heat.  You need to keep an eye on them as they can “pop.”
  5. Add the Teriyaki sauce to the pan and let it cook, maybe take it down to medium.  I keep stirring & scraping the bottom of the pan.
  6. Get the water boiling for under a steamer basket.  I usually add onion powder and garlic powder.
  7. Take out the steaks and let them rest on a cutting board.
  8. Steam the vegetables above the boiling water once it starts to go… I usually wait for them to turn a bright color then turn it off as I like them still to be a bit crunchy.  Carrots on bottom, broccoli in the middle, peppers on top seems to make the cook the most evenly.
  9. Cut the steaks into strips, I try to go on an angle so they’re nice & tender.
  10. Add the steak to the chick peas & Teriyaki… don’t overcook the steak.  It should still be a little pink in the middle when you add it.
  11. Fluff the rice.
  12. I use garlic powder, onion powder, season all, Mrs. Dash, salt, & pepper throughout on everything.
  13. Plate the rice, veggies, beef/chickpeas/sauce and enjoy!

It all sounds much more complicated than it is.  You can cook he steaks on a countertop grill or cut them into strips & cook in the pan… but I tend to overcook them that way. You could, of course, also use the marinade as an actual marinade.

You could just boil the veggies too, but I feel like that takes out all the flavor and turns them to mush.  Roasting them in the oven may be delicious too, but would take a bit longer… this would be good for the chickpeas too.

If I had a wok, I’d get brave and try it all like a stir-fry. Maybe like the “white people tacos” meme, this is my version of Asian food.

I’d be interested to see what other people think if you try it out. I’d like if you shared your meals like this in the comments, so I have more stuff to try.

I am stuck on this type of La Choy Teriyaki sauce & marinade. The flavor is perfect. The “stir fry sauce” has sesame seeds in it, & I’m not a fan of the texture and hate to tempt fate with diverticulitis issues. The other ones are just OK. What’s your favorite type? Have you ever made your own?

According to Wikipedia, it seems like Teriyaki is similar to Barbecue as it seems to refer to a style of cooking as well as the sauce. Maybe I am wildly misusing the term? I just like the sauce. A lot.

It has been increasingly difficult to find. I have tweeted (𝕏eeted?) Conagra and I think they are stalling. I’m going to have to have a maze-fueled letter & email wiring campaign. I was told the sauce was discontinued by a local distributor to Giant Eagle in 2009, but have definitely found it since then. The current La Choy website doesn’t list it as a product, but the Internet Wayback Machine has it.