Category Archives: Rants in my pants

Coupon Frustration

Posted on by Standard 6

We clip coupons.  Why not, right?  If I’m going to get something cheaper for a minimal effort, why not?  It makes sense.

What doesn’t make sense, is the supposed value that coupons represent.  They seem more like advertisements to me… to get you to buy a product, or to get you into the food joint & make you buy more stuff than you need since you’re getting something for free anyway.  So, I guess from that end, they do make sense to the coupon presenter.

To me, they fall in two categories, restaurant coupons and grocery coupons…. and there are several sub-categories thereafter.

Any more, they seem to be useless unless it’s something straight-up for free with no catches… or a straight dollar (or cents) amount off of one item.  I don’t want or need to buy two packs of hot dogs to save a dollar.  I don’t ever need two quarter-pounders or big roast-beef sandwiches.

Brand-name coupons usually don’t seem to bring the price down enough to compete with the off-brand, or the store brand.  On some things, like Heinz Ketchup, the difference is important… but on others like laundry soap… I really don’t see the difference between Tide or All or Cheer or Purex the plethora of other ones out there.

Fast food coupons seem to be the most frustrating… now that everyone has value meals or value combos or combo meals, why are they still giving out “free fries” or “free side” coupons?  You always need to purchase a sandwich and a drink to get the free side… which puts you at the price of the combo meal anyway… possibly more if you were going to “up-size” at all.

The breakfast ones are the best deals… most likely because no one is coming in for breakfast.  We know this is just to get us in the door.

Perhaps I’m pessemistic.  I’d like to put some research into seeing how much these kinds of coupons actually save you.  I know… fast food is an evil that I ought to just avoid anyway according to my friend Dave.  I know he’s right, but I seem to fall into the trap anyway.

Do you find coupons to ever be useful?  Are they ever for something you were going to get anyway, or are you settling for something other than what you would order otherwise?  Have you ever gone somewhere with a coupon, then pocketed it because there was a better deal existing already, or the savings really weren’t worth not getting exactly what you wanted?

 

 

 

American Community Survey?

Posted on by Standard 9

OK, so you may have read my earlier rant about the census.  This is a continuation of that.  I think.

As a follow up to that…  We filled out & mailed tn the census, then someone came knocking on our door informing us that we didn’t in fact fill out the census and return it in time.  My wife ended up answering all their questions a second time.

As to why I think this a continuation of this census malarkey… the pattern of insanity is the same.  A week or so ago, we got a letter in the mail warning us that a follow up survey to the census was coming, and that we’re obligated by law to fill out this survey.  We received the American Community Survey.  The FAQ pamphlet accompanying the survey evokes Title 13, U.S Code, Sections 141 and 193 – and it goes on to say “Title 13, as changed by Title 18, imposes a penalty for not responding”.  How “land of the free” does that sound?

The scary part is that the pamphlet later says “We may combine your answers with information that you gave other agencies to enhance the statistical use of these data.”  Other agencies? Like the IRS?  Are you going to make sure all my numbers match up?  Is this a lead-in to an audit?

The survey itself actually contains the word “Negro” in the race section.  It says “Black, African Am., Negro” and it only says “White” not caucasian or European or aryan or any other dumb name.  I thought “Negro” was offensive as of the 80’s.  Why doe sit matter if I’m of Hispanic origin?  Why doesn’t it ask then & there if I’m Swedish, or French, or Irish, or Indian, or Hungarian,  or Italian, or Arabic?

Why does it matter how I get to work?  Why do they need to know how many people are in my car on the way to work?  Am I going to be forced to carpool, or pay a “driving alone to work” tax?  Why do they need my work address, or my wife’s work address, or how much we make a year?  Shouldn’t the government already know that?

Did my neighbors get this?  The data for everyone on this street would be totally and wholly different from ours.  I’m not a great representation of the overall neighborhood.

Next time, will we include fingerprints and a hair follicle or cheek swab for DNA cataloging?

I call shenanigans on the whole thing.  It’s a ludicrous waste of money and resources.  In addition to the plethora of  reminders and follow-ups to the original census…  I got the warning letter for this survey, and accompanying the survey itself was a letter (that mentioned that we already should have received a letter about the letter we are reading), a 16-page “guide” on how to fill out the survey, a glossy “FAQ” brochure, and the return envelope.

In case I went over it too fast just now… I’d like to just focus on this one thing for a moment.

We got a letter (we’ll call it letter 1) telling us that a survey was coming and that we were obligated by law to fill it out.  Then, we got the survey along with another letter (we’ll call it letter 2) telling us that we should have gotten a letter telling us that the survey was coming, and explaining that the big fold-over in the envelope that says “American Community Survey” is a survey that we need to fill out, expressing that it’s required by law.

I’m sure well get  a follow up letter (if I get it, I’ll call it letter 3) saying that we should have received a survey and by now filled it out, as required by law.  This just sounds like something that belongs in a Monty Python sketch.

Through the magic of the internet, I have found all of the pieces…

arrow Materials Included in ACS Mailings

Ah, I may also get a reminder card.  I forgot about the reminder card.

I have a hard time believing that I’m going to benefit in any way from this survey, but I’m guessing only time will tell.

I didn’t forget.  There was a guide that accompanied the survey.  I’m guessing that if I couldn’t understand the questions in the survey… the guide’s not going to help me out all that much.  I’d love to meet the think-tank that comes up with this brilliance.  You know it’s a committee or group… no one person would or could be responsible for this kind of crap on their own.  Poking around their website, it appears that a shocking amount of time and research has been dedicated to this task.

How are the tree-huggers not all over this wasteful paper usage?  I mean, the waste here offends me… and I’m still not convinced that recycling is all that efficient in the first place.  I mean, there is a reason to conserve what resources we have, and make sure that when they’re used  it’s somewhat necessary.  (A letter telling you that you’re going to get a survey, a letter saying you should have already received a letter and that you now have in your possession a survey, and a letter saying that you’ve already received a survey that you should have filled out would all be unnecessary in my book.)

Is this all just a ploy to keep the Post Office in business?

I just may have to write to some politicians and ask about all the waste associated with this whole thing.  In the past I’ve heard from Gov. Ed. Rendell and Senator Wayne Fontana.  Maybe I’ll have to reach out to them again with my concerns.

I need to collect my thoughts & start sending letters to people in the government to let them know what I think.  Will it do any good?  Probably not, using the redundancy and bureaucracy of the census surveys as an example.  At the end of the day it may make me feel better if nothing else, as I’m still able to speak my mind.

The more I see/read the word census, the more it sounds like senseless.

Cut out the paper waste for a second, and think just about the time wasted.  If you did this kind of crap at work, can you imagine what your superiors would have to say about your productivity and efficiency?  Yet, we accept this from the government.

Hey Gilligan,

This is an email to say that I’m going to send you an email to ask you a question.

Hello again Gilligan,

This is the email where I’m going to ask the question.  You should have already received the email where I told you that I was going to ask you a question.

The question is: Do you like coconuts?

The Skipper wants an answer, he’ll be mad if you don’t tell us.  If we knew if you liked coconuts, it might help Mary Ann in preparing dinner.  We know you’ve already talked to the Professor about island cuisine, so we may factor that into our decision.

Dear Gilligan,

I have sent you an email asking about your thoughts on coconuts, the Skipper wanted us to remind you that you were already supposed to have answered the coconut question.

Now.  How ridiculous is that?

Oh well, it’s late… I’ve jumped all over the map and page with this as I’ve searched the internet for these documents and more questions and what not, and feel that I’m losing coherence… not that I definitely have any in the first place.  I’m lost in all the letters about other letters about other letters about other letters  Maybe I need to write blogs telling you that I’m going to write blogs, then write a reminder blog that I wrote a blog.

Giant Eagle Market District | Educating Yinz Guys N’at

Posted on by Standard Reply

At the new Market District in Robinson, I laugh every time we go in the side door by the cafe & I see this sign:

PRETTY PLEASE! (with a cherry on top) USE MAIN ENTRANCE ←with a cart― NOT THE ROTATING DOOR

sign for the special sort of Yinzer...

In case you can’t read it (or see the photo), it says this:

PRETTY
PLEASE!
(with a cherry on top)
USE MAIN
ENTRANCE
←with―a―cart―
NOT THE ROTATING
DOOR

Yeah.  Apparently people need to be told things like this.  It makes me want to try to squeeze a cart through the rotating door and see if anyone reprimands me.  They certainly don’t when you have more than the accepted quantity of items in the express line.  How far will they go to keep the customer happy?

Women in rock?

Posted on by Standard Reply

While on Tumblr, I found an interesting post that I just couldn’t shut up about…

It’s about women in rock.  I dug the sentiment, but I dunno if I agree with the premise.  So, check out the original…

The girls onstage. The ones who might never play a major tour, the ones trying to grab some attention in a shitty bar, the ones who hear “show us your tits,” the ones who had better be traditionally attractive or no one wants to hear what they have to say, the ones who scream lyrics to a crowd…

(read entire post)

and my thoughts:

I enjoyed this post, but is it really still unfair for women in rock n’ roll?  Some of my favorite bands are The Eyeliners, The Donnas, The Teen Idols, and Dance Hall Crashers… all successful women in rock.  Even locally, we have the Motorpsychos… I certainly wouldn’t mess with them.  And, one of my favorite locals was Sing the Evens, Play the Odds.  I never once thought “Oh, there’s girls in this band, so I’m not going to take them seriously.”

I think all musicians are objectified to some level, no matter their gender.  My wife would jump Bret Michaels in a second if we weren’t married and he wasn’t a giant walking STD.  A guy screaming “show us your tits” is pretty much on par with a teenage girl yelling “I love you” to Justin Beiber… just slightly more vulgar.

A female friend of ours once asked my wife about me “Doesn’t it get you hot to see him up there with a guitar?”  Her answer was a resounding no… but apparently it got our friend excited.  Ha ha ha.  Should I be insulted?

What do you think?

Episode II: Crapplebee’s Writes Back

Posted on by Standard 1

Did you read my Crapplebee’s post, and the AllergyEats blog post that it referred you to?  (Really, check out all the comments, especially from AEPaul about the posts at aceliaconthemove.blogspot.com!) Okay, then you’re ready to read this.

Well, maybe read one more thing… the latest blog from AllergyEats with the response from Applebee’s.  It’s awesome to know that there are others out there that share my affinity for writing letters/emails to companies and getting stupid responses.  I encourage you to let AllergyEats know that you want to see it pursued further.  I want to encourage you to pursue it yourself.  Write emails, write letters, write blogs, make phone calls, blog, tweet,  Digg it, post on Facebook or to the 3 people left on MySpace that aren’t bands, Tumblr, re-blog, re-tweet, re-Tumblr this until it gets out an annoys everyone and not just Applebee’s.

While Paul at AllergyEats dissects the message in his own way, I would like to translate the response as I read it:

Dear AllergyEats Subscribers,

“Dear people that we could really care less about,”

We recognize the importance of making sure our food-allergic guests have safe options they can enjoy at their neighborhood Applebee’s.

“We’re saying that we recognize that the food-allergic need to have safe options, but we don’t feel the need to mention any specific allergies or options.  While we recognize the importance, we’re also not saying that we’re doing anything about it.”

Food allergies are a serious concern, and we are working to improve how we accommodate the needs of our FA-guests.

“We’re telling you that food allergies are a serious concern, even though they’re clearly not because it hasn’t yet affected our profits.  We’re also telling you we’re ‘working to improve’, and again failing to mention any specifics”

Depending on the food allergy, we do offer different menu items that are appropriate options, or that can be prepared without the allergic food.

“We obviously didn’t read your blog, because you were told something quite different by your server and manager, about how there was butter all over the grill & absolutely no way to accommodate you.”

We recommend that you talk with your server or restaurant manager about the allergy, and how your meal is prepared, to help ensure your dining experience is safe.

“This is another way of letting you know that we didn’t read or comprehend your blog… or don’t have all that great of a grasp on the English language, because you already tried what we just recommended, and it most certainly did not work out for you.”

Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention — we value the safety and enjoyment of all our guests.

“We’re not going to follow up with the server & manager from that store who are obviously unaware of our apparent policies, because we really really really don’t care.”

Sincerely,

Applebee’s

“Full of Shit, Applebee’s (The newly sentient restaurant chain, now capable of writing letters.)”  –  Seriously.  They couldn’t even sign their name or provide some contact information for a follow up?

I think I may just have to write to Applebee’s myself.

Crapplebee’s

Posted on by Standard 2

So, I read an infuriating post yesterday on The AllergyEats Blog.  It was a post from someone who has an allergy quite unsuccessfully trying to find a meal that won’t kill them at Applebee’s.  The poster is much more adventurous than I am.  I do as much research as possible before setting foot into a place, even down to emailing or calling ahead to can see what I can eat that hasn’t touched any death-fish.  I wouldn’t even go into an Applebee’s because they cook shrimp on the grill & in the fryer in there.  A sample of the text…

I ordered a hamburger, but explained my dairy allergy and politely went through my usual requests – no butter on the bun, no cheese on the burger, make sure the burger is cooked with no dairy, etc.  The waitress immediately told me that they “couldn’t do that.”

What?  You can’t stop yourself from slathering butter on the roll?  All of the burgers come pre-packaged with cheese on top?

I was actually shocked because the staff had always cheerfully prepared my dairy-free food in the past.  Did they change their attitude along with their menu?

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, then you may have seen this link.  I felt it was worth posting again, as my W(aL)D instincts took over and I ended up tweeting a link to the blog to the people at Applebee’s…

@Applebees Wow – “#foodallergy F-you: http://bit.ly/9UeUvz (via @AiXeLsyD13)” –  What do you have to say for yourself?

&

@Applebees Check out @AllergyEats, they’re the ones who blogged the situation: http://twitter.com/AllergyEats/status/21397851915

Apparently I got their attention, and they’ve contacted Paul at the Allergy Eats blog. Hopefully they can offer up some sort of formal apology, but more importantly start the steps to put a process in place where they not only recognize people with food allergies (and their families) who might want to dine out and need a safe place to eat, but implement training and procedures to become that dining safe haven.

At any rate, the comments on their blog have blown up, and get more & more interesting with each posting.  (Apparently the AllergyEats Facebook page is kickin’ with comments too.) Some of the stories share are appalling (& remind me of my original Subway-related rant and the recent “dog turd” one).  Thankfully AEPaul doesn’t seem to mind me sticking my proverbial nose into this Applebee’s mess, but apparently I just can’t help myself.  The internet makes it so easy to be crazy and so easy to contact people.  But really, this kind of stuff can’t go unaddressed.  Applebee’s has a responsibility to make it right.

I keep pounding on this, but for next year’s Food Allergy Awareness Week, we need to concentrate less on legislation and government and more on the people who are in a better position to actually do something about it.  I really feel that better accommodations can be made to those with food allergies when it’s consumer driven, versus having to make those accommodations because of government regulations.  Regulations provide no incentive to exceed the guidelines passed along.  Beating the chain restaurant across the street is incentive.  Word of mouth (or free viral social media  advertising) from people with food allergies and their families would be a hell of a boon to any business, and would most certainly generate some positive press.

Please post, re-post, tweet, re-tweet, tumblr, or Vulcan-mind meld this blog or the original blog (or both) to everyone that you can.  Let Applebee’s and other chain restaurants know that this is not cool.

W_a_L_D

  1. @Applebees Check out @AllergyEats, they’re the ones who blogged the situation: http://twitter.com/AllergyEats/status/21397851915 12:20 PM Aug 17th via web in reply to Applebees
  2. @Applebees Thanks, it wasn’t my experience. I just read about it here: http://bit.ly/9UeUvz 12:11 PM Aug 17th via web in reply to Applebees
  3. @Applebees Wow – “#foodallergy F-you: http://bit.ly/9UeUvz (via @AiXeLsyD13)” – What do you have to say for yourself? 10:19 AM Aug 17th via web
  4. @negative13 Tuesday is the day for war & law. 10:16 AM Aug 17th via web in reply to negative13
  5. @BrandiCarter @subway @subwayfreshbuzz… did the egg whites have any “seafood sub” filling splashed on them? 4:11 PM Aug 16th via web in reply to subwayfreshbuzz
  6. Amusing McStory from “braincell” who commented about the West Liberty Ave. @McDonalds: http://bit.ly/bQuCWC #McDonalds @Kty_McD @Kim_McD 4:09 PM Aug 16th via web
  7. What kind of sauce would you like to see bottled & sold? http://wp.me/pwqzc-k6 @Arbys @Wendys 4:07 PM Aug 16th via web
  8. @ChickfilA Those little mini sandwiches drive me crazy. If I passed CFA on the way to work, I’d be a much fatter man. 11:22 AM Aug 10th via web in reply to ChickfilA
  9. @FoodNetwork any taco without fish or shrimp in it… 11:21 AM Aug 10th via web in reply to FoodNetwork
  10. @kevinpollak Which one did you get? Cheese Steak, Cappacola, Corned Beef…? 2:02 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to kevinpollak
  11. @Bathroom_Reader …are all the noses in the same place? 2:01 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to Bathroom_Reader
  12. @SSSUBWAY What do you think re #foodallergies, cross-contamination, & lack of good responses from your CS people? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 2:00 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to SSSUBWAY
  13. What do you think re #foodallergies, cross-contamination, & lack of good responses from your CS people? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 1:59 PM Aug 9th via web
  14. @FredSubwayCEO What do you think re #foodallergies, cross-contamination, & lack of good responses from your CS people? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 12:10 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to FredSubwayCEO
  15. )xxxxx[;;;;;;;;;> 10:42 AM Aug 9th via web
  16. @subwaytechtweet @Subwaydeals What do you guys think about #foodallergies & cross-contamination? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH #subway 9:13 AM Aug 9th via web
  17. @TheRealSubman @springfieldsub What do you guys think about #foodallergies & cross-contamination? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH #subway 9:12 AM Aug 9th via web in reply to TheRealSubman
  18. @JohnstownSubway What do you guys think about #foodallergies & cross-contamination? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH #subway 9:06 AM Aug 9th via web in reply to JohnstownSubway
  19. @SubwayEatFresh … so, do you Tweet at all, or what? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 9:04 AM Aug 9th via web

Score! Free movie passes…

Posted on by Standard 1

If you read my recent rant about going to the movies, and then read my email to & the response from the theater, they you knew this was coming.  But, it’s cool that they’re actually here.  After the last response, I did reply via email to Mr. Wilson:

From: Eric Carroll <me@my.email.address>
To: Shawn Wilson <swilson@cinemark.com>
Sent: Thu, August 12, 2010
Subject: Re: Contact Us: Quality of service at a theatre

Hello Shawn,

Thank you for the reply.  I understand that you must also be frustrated with the behavior of your patrons.  My wife & I would very much appreciate two movie passes, thank you for the offer!  My mailing address is…

Eric Carroll
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pittsburgh, PA  XXXXX

You do have a great new beautiful theater… hopefully over time, you’ll be able to have the staff available to spot & weed-out the troublemakers.  Ha… too bad that texting is one of the bans… I’d certainly have no trouble texting the theater to point out moviegoers causing a distraction for others!

Have a good day,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

And, then today, this was in my mailbox when I got home:

Cinemark Letter & Rain Check Passes

Cinemark Letter & Rain Check Passes

It’s cool that it can be used for any movie any time.  I had wondered if there would be any odd restrictions. I am serious abut the texting to report troublemakers though.  If there was a “text complaints to this # to alert managers of a disturbance/error during the film” kind of thing… it would work out pretty well… except that texting during to movie is one of those things that’s already frowned upon.  They need those buttons like they have at the bowling alley… ha ha.

At any rate, we’ll have to get back out there soon to catch a free show!

We can’t change the way people act.

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, did you read the one about our last trip to the movies?  I know it garnered more comments than most of my posts.  Comments are always appreciated!  At any rate, we have somewhat of a conclusion.  I let the theater know about our evening via webform:

From: me@my.email.address [mailto:me@my.email.address]
Sent: Monday, August 09, 2010 10:08 PM
To: SiteTheatre
Subject: Contact Us: Quality of service at a theatre

Hello,

I my wife & I recently went to the new Cinemark in Robinson on a whim, and we had an “interesting” evening.  I posted a review of the night online, and it was brought to my attention that I ought to tell you guys about the problem directly.

More and more, a night at the movies plays out like this:  https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/2010/08/07/movie-night-for-schmucks/

It’s a shame to have a new beautiful theater with helpful friendly employees go downhill so fast thanks to the rudeness of the patrons, and refusal of management to enforce the theater’s policies.

Should I have gone to management right away?  I would have most certainly missed the beginning of the film.

Would the other patrons have been removed form the theater?  I’m guessing no as they were also paying customers… albeit incredibly rude paying customers.

I hope that you are able to read about my experience and share your thoughts on how I should have conducted myself in that situation.

Thank you for your time, I really look forward to hearing from you!

And, I eventually got a reply:

From: Shawn Wilson <swilson@cinemark.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Thu, August 12, 2010 1:41:14 PM
Subject: FW: Contact Us: Quality of service at a theatre

Good afternoon,

Thank you for visiting our theatre and for contacting us concerning your recent visit.  I sincerely apologize that your visit was less than enjoyable.

It is certainly our goal to provide the best overall movie-going experience.  We strive to make personal contact with each one of our guests.  It may be saying hello as our guests walk in, holding open a door, carrying concession items, or greeting guests as they exit the auditoriums.  I am extremely pleased that our staff was able to have contact with you and your wife on several occasions.

I can fully understand that the positives associated with a nice theatre and a friendly staff can soon be replaced with frustration when the movie is made less than enjoyable because of the actions of fellow guests in the auditorium.  Unfortunately, it seems now-a-days, some of the public has become very inconsiderate of others.  We can’t change the way people act, but we can have our staff continue to do regular checks of each auditorium and we will correct any problem or disturbance noticed.  I apologize that we were not able to identify and correct the disturbances that you experienced.  I will review this instance with my team.

Thank you, again, for contacting us.  I am disappointed that your visit to our theatre was not perfect.  It would be my pleasure to invite you and your wife back, as our guest, for a much better experience.  If you would be so kind as to provide me with your mailing address, I will place two passes in the mail.

If I can be of any additional assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Best regards,

Shawn Wilson
General Manager
Cinemark Robinson Twp.  #1034
2100 Settlers Ridge Center Dr.
Pittsburgh, PA  15205
Phone: 412-787-1368  Fax: 412-787-1948

Well, at least I got some free movie passes!  It’ll be interesting to see if there are any restrictions on them as far as times or anything.  But hey… a free movie isn’t a bad deal.  Maybe I’ll avoid a weekend night so we don’t get a repeat of being surrounded by idiots.

It is cool that he acknowledged the problem and apologized for the situation, even if he had to concede that there’s really nothing that he can do about it.  Hopefully the staff for that evening gets commended for being personable.

Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®

Posted on by Standard 15

Ever get the Jalapeño Bites at Arby’s?  They’re awesome… but the most awesome thing about them is that they come with a genius little cup of Bronco Berry Sauce®.

Arby's :: Bronco Berry Sauce®
Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®

Despite the name, it contains no horses or even any berries.  It’s a simple list of ingredients that are probably more sweeteners and preservatives than actual food with nutritional value.  It’s something that Clark Griswold would be proud of.  In fact, here’s the list as states by the Arby’s nutrition page…

Bronco Berry Sauce®
Ingredients:
Sugar, Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Red Bell Peppers, Distilled Vinegar, Modified Corn Starch, Jalapeno Peppers, Onion (dehydrated), Xanthan Gum, Spices, Salt, Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate (preservatives), Citric Acid, Red 40, Blue 1.

Crazy.  It’s odd that they don’t have to declare the spices… but there’s whole other issue.  I wrote to Arby’s via webform, suggesting that they ought to bottle and sell the stuff…

Buenos Dias Buckaroos!

I write to you today with high praise for your Bronco Berry Sauce.  Holy Cow, is it good!  I mean, the Jalapeño Bites are excellent in and of themselves, but the delicious dip takes it to an infinitely higher level of superbity.  Is superbity even a word?  I don't know, my friends.  But if it's not, it should be... and it should be the word to describe Bronco Berry Sauce.

I would like to know if you ever have plans to bottle the stuff and make it available for sale inside your restaurants, like Bob Evans does with their Wildfire BBQ Sauce?  I think it would be a stroke of genius.  I'd also purchase your Arby's Sauce, Horsey Sauce and the Honey Mustard if it were available.  But the Bronco Berry Sauce is the object of my culinary desire.

I have seen the "copy-cat recopies" online, but I balk at their attempts to copy perfection.  Why settle for an imitation when you can have the real thing?

If there are no plans to bottle & sell the Bronco Berry Sauce, can I somehow buy a case of the little dipping cups?  Typing that out, it sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious.

Thanks you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you!

Yee-Haw!
-Eric
world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Well, apparently they have no plans of doing any such thing.  They also apparently get this question a lot… as I got virtually the same answer twice:

from customerservice@arbys.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Tue, Aug 10, 2010
subject Customer Feedback #387566
mailed-by arbys.com

Dear  Eric,

Thank you for your comments.  Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. I have forwarded your request to the Menu and  Product Development teams. However, the Bronco Berry Sauce is not available for retail sale.

We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.

Thank you again.

Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations

from customerservice@arbys.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Thu, Aug 12, 2010
subject Customer Feedback #388610
mailed-by arbys.com

Dear Eric:

Thank you for your comments.  Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. Arby’s sauces are currently not available for retail sale, however, we have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development teams.

Thank you again.

Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations

Odd.  I’d like to get directly in contact with the product development team… I mean, why wouldn’t it work?

I know there are a plethora of copycat recipes online.  They’re easy to find and probably easy to make… but they’re not the same.  So… I can do without the Red 40 and Blue 1… but where can I pickup Xantham Gum, and what are the magic “spices”?

I may just have to try some of these out:

Or, Arby’s could just get with it and bottle their sauces.  Since Wendy’s & Arby’s are now owned by the same company, their Sweet & Sour Nugget Sauce would be good too!

Do you have any sauces that you think ought to be bottled & sold?

The McSaga Continues (…A reply from Ms. Jones!)

Posted on by Standard 9

Perhaps this is the end more than a continuation.

I wrote back to Mr. Kausky & received another reply.  I pushed again with Kty_McD and received an actual reply from Ella Jones at Mc5834.  Perversely, I hope when I read in the seething anger between the lines that I’m not wrong.

I’ll try to lay it out in Chronological order…

from ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
to Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by gmail.com

Hello Scott,

I would like to first thank you for your replies.  I can tell by the look of your location and the attitude of the employees that great pride is taken in the operation of your McDonald’s.  Your emails have confirmed it!  I’m generally amazed at how quickly I can get in & out of the Canonsburg location at lunch time when it is usually quite packed.  Quality/taste of the food aside, generally one goes to McDonald’s with convenience and speed being at the top of the priority list.

I was hoping to write back to you to tell you that I had been contacted by Ella Jones or someone else at the West Liberty Avenue location… but I cannot.  I didn’t want to wait too long in replying to you to say thanks.  Thanks for proving that all McDonald’s managers/owners/operators/customer service reps are not apathetic, and thanks for your involvement in perusing this customer service issue which is mostly unrelated to you!

I have also followed up via the contact form at the McDonald’s website, and with a Katy (@Kty_McD) via the McDonald’s Twitter Team.  Both to no avail thus far.  They must really have issues other than the obvious over in Beechview if they’re not even responding from other franchise owners or from a corporate push.  I can tell you that they have received my last dollar, no matter what the outcome.

I hope that no offense is taken when I say that you seem to operate more like a Chick-fil-A manager than a McDonald’s manager.  I hate to stereotype, but they generally have a more pleasant disposition as a fast food chain.  They also respond quickly and positively to customer service related emails.  They usually have quite the hands-on approach in special promotions every night of the week and the way things are run.

Your drive-thru traffic direction cones/poles are a great idea… I don’t know why they’re not standard issue in all split drive-thru locations.  It’s amazing that people would cut up and around.  Are they totally blind to the lines on the ground?  I’m always amazed at how some people think that they’re better than the rest of us, or the rules don’t apply to them.

I hope that you’re able to push the inside queue line issue with success in the future.  I certainly don’t see anything wrong with it.  It works for amusement parks, the bank, Wendy’s, & Burger King.  With the multiple entrances in your store, and with people standing back waiting for their orders to be filled, it can be quite confusing to know who’s next.

I will keep you posted on a resolution with store #5834 (if there ever is one), thank you for your time & effort!

-Eric

And then..

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by verizon.net

Eric,

Thanks again.  It amazes me because they would be all over us, (the operator) community if any complaints are not closed out.  I have placed a follow up email to  our business consultant.  One day, when I work my way up to president, I’ll have a direct line to my office.  I understand that everyone is busy, but at the end of the day, its the customers like you who put the pay in payday.  If I can ever assist you in the future, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,
Scott Kausky
General Manager

Scott is all over that!  I seriously wish him luck in is race to become McPresident, and I hope he gets those queue lines installed.  It keeps one grounded to know that your pay is ultimately coming from customer satisfaction.

Here’s the reply that we’ve all been waiting for (apparently it was emailed to my alternate email address on Thursday… still over 2 weeks after my original message):

From: Jones Ella <ella.jones@us.mcd.com>
To: World(andLunar)Domination <worldandlunardomination@yahoo.com>
Cc: “West Liberty (pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com)” <pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com>
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010
Subject: RE: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)

Hi Eric,

Thank you for taking the time to communicate about the West Liberty McDonald’s.    Something will be done about the Jiffy Lube.  We are waiting on a new tenant.  The building interior choice was made based on what some customers like.  I understand not all customers like it and your feedback will help McDonald’s as they plan to design other locations.  Thank you for the feedback.

We are working on the speed issues, the food quality issues, and the customer service issues at this location.  We have support coming in to help us become the “well oiled”  operation that we need to be.  Thank you for taking your time to point out our issues—this certainly helps us get better.

Sincerely,
Ella Jones

If you need a refresher, click here to read my original email to Ms. Jones.  (And note in the comments that others have had similar experiences there!)

I feel like Ms. Jones didn’t read past the Brady Bunch comment… although we did get a “well-oiled”  quote from the last paragraph.  I’d love to meet the focus group that liked the new McDonald’s layout/design.  Did they know it was for a McDoanld’s or did they think it was for a fruit stand in a 70’s movie?

  • There was no mention of the incorrect breakfast sandwich or explanation of how that happened.
  • There was no mention of the crazy double-drive-thru traffic patterns.
  • No mention of the Canonsburg store used as a good example.
  • No mention of the spongy rubbery egg-like substance.
  • No mention of the race for the “sloth” title with Wendy’s.
  • No mention of the ridiculous wait time or stress-induced customer telepathy.
  • No mention of the cardboard-like McNuggets.
  • No mention of what the nuggets contained before they were “all white meat”.
  • No mention of my admitting that I was wrong.

Are my emails too long-winded?  I guess I know the answer to that..  But still… if we’re getting into percentage of questions asked vs. questions answered (not even assigning a quality to the answer), we’re not even getting a passing grade here!

Id love to know just how many “you need to answer this email” emails that Ms. Jones received.  I encourage you to also write if you’ve had a bad experience there. It would be even better if you share it with us.  I’d love to post other letters of dissatisfaction.

I’m guessing that my pressing the issue further really isn’t going to get me anywhere.  She doesn’t seem like the type to comment on the spongy rubbery egg stuff or mystery meat McNuggets.  It will be interesting to see if orange cones appear in the drive-thru down there.

Perhaps one day they will actually get their act together.  I bet not, but perhaps.