This is another punk-rock leaning short one. “Bloodbath at Burger King” is an absolute gem, as are many others here. This is what I have so far:
Screeching Weasel – “I Saw The Devil At McDonalds (Demo)”
Teenage Bottlerocket – “Blood Bath At Burger King”
The Berlin Project – “Taco Bell World”
Gas Station Boner Pills – “Fist Fight at the Waffle House”
Richies – “Le Big Mac”
Indigo Girls – “Dairy Queen”
The Knuckleheadz – “Fuck McDz”
Teenage Bottlerocket – “Too Much La Collina”
Wesley Willis – “Rock ‘N Roll McDonald’s”
The Smithereens – “White Castle Blues”
Boris the Sprinkler – “Don’t Really Want To Walk To Taco Bell Without You”
Silly Stu – “McDonald’s in the Pentagon”
Motorpsychos – “Fries With That”
The Aquabats! – “Burger Rain!”
Parry Gripp – “Raining Tacos”
What am I missing? Are there punk-leaning songs about Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, KFC, Raising Cane’s, or Chick-fil-A? Panera? Jersey Mike’s, Jimmy John’s, Subway, Quizno’s, Vocelli Pizza, Papa John’s, or Domino’s? What about Hardee’s, Carl’s Jr., Checker’s, Rally’s, Five Guy’s, In & Out, Krystal, Jack-in-the-Box, Rax, Arby’s, or Auntie Anne’s? I’ll even take Eat’n Park or Denny’s.
Holy cow, reddit’s r/punk and Facebook’s Oddly Specific Playlists stepped up with some killer suggestions! The list is currently at 85 tracks. Some fit more loosely than others… but close enough counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and punk rock.
Also, I need to figure out the right plugin to let me embed Amazon playlists here.
I had some time recently, and I wanted to see what the process was to publish a print-on-demand book from Amazon. I grabbed a bunch of my smaller easy mazes with no discernable theme that I had previously posted here & on Instagram, and assembled them into a book. All of them were scanned in & maybe fixed a bit with paint.NET, and I put the pages of the book together with OpenOffice, so my only cost came down to the pens & paper. (Not sure how to quantify time & sanity.)
Yup, I finally did it. After drawing mazes for decades.
It was very simple to publish with Amazon. This gave me the confidence to put together another book, perhaps with a bit more coherence, and definitely with a much better cover. I have already started drawing new mazes in a neat little box template so they’re a bit more consistent. What’s a good number? 30? 50?
Also, I need to get all of these older mazes scanned & into a book too. I have some pages that are bigger than my scanner bed though. Perhaps a trip to FedEx Office or Staples is in order.
I just kind of set the price arbitrarily to make a little bit off of publishing. I’m not looking to get rich, but it would be nice to finally make income of off artistic output after decades of ostensibly doodling. (I won’t delve into my musical endeavors which are break even at best but probably a negative sum game. 🤣)
Luckily the creative outlet for me is just that, an outlet. I think we all need to express ourselves artistically or through sports, gardening, or other hobbies.
It also suggested I make a Kindle version, so I did that too. I am not sure if the concept will work there. Can you draw on a Kindle screen with a stylus or your finger? Can you print from a Kindle? I must confess I don’t have one. I am still a fan of books in the traditional form.
If you have ever enjoyed my mazes, or have been one of the awesome people that has completed them and sent in the solution – I humbly ask you (if you’re so inclined) to purchase a paperback for around $6 or a Kindle book for around $3 and let me know what you think. Should I do more? Did you enjoy it? Is the quality any good?
Really, I ask you to try even if you have never solved one of my mazes. Now is a good time to start!
It might make a good gift for kids or adults. It’s a nice way to pass some time or zone out.
If you do buy, can you leave an honest rating/review? I feel like that goes a long way with Amazon.
If you can’t buy or are really not interested, that’s OK too! I would ask you to maybe share the link around.
My thoughts on the next one are that I probably need a table of contents, to maybe title the mazes, and… should I include the solutions in the back? That’s one of my issues. I like to draw the mazes, but don’t really solve them. I may need to reach out for help on that part & pay someone to complete them so I can include the solutions (and make sure they’re solvable).
I probably need help with a title, too.
Thanks for reading, tanks for considering, and please share this link on every social media platform known to humankind: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH2FMH7W
Well. The garden plot thickens. Or something. I have a few more potato-related emails. All signs point to the grocery stores being at fault, and funnily enough the grocery stores have not replied, at all.
This happened, and we got a refund from Instacart. It’s not green potatoes, but they definitely weren’t ready to just toss into the crock pot with a roast.
If you’re wondering what the hell I am talking about, you must have missed the saga as it uprooted…
Thank you for reaching out. It’s always great to meet another potato enthusiast! As you may know, while we don’t represent any one brand, Potatoes USA works on behalf of more than 2,000 potato growers and handlers across the country to promote the benefits of eating potatoes. We’re happy to provide general feedback, and the individual brands and retailers can tell you more about their practices.
As far as green potatoes go, you’re correct that the color signifies the build-up of solanine. It’s a natural reaction to the potato being exposed to too much light. If there’s slight greening, you can cut away those green portions before cooking and eating. Generally speaking, you’re unlikely to ingest enough solanine to do you any harm.
However, I know you’re a potato skin fan (and rightly so). One bit of good news on the nutrition front is that the only nutrient significantly lost when the skin is removed is fiber. (A medium (5.3 oz) potato contains 2 grams of fiber with the skin and 1 gram of fiber without the skin.) Potassium and vitamin C are found predominantly in the flesh.
Potato growers take a number of steps to reduce greening, including maintaining enough soil cover over potatoes in the field and storing harvested potatoes in facilities with minimal light.
If you aren’t already, I’d encourage you to store your fresh potatoes in a cool, dark place. If you’re finding green potatoes upon returning from the store (or after Instacart delivery), you can often return them.
Thanks again for your note. We hope you have a spud-tacular holiday season, filled with plenty of potatoes.
Thank you for your response! I really appreciate your time and the imparted potato knowledge.
In my reaching out to several potato producers, it seems that they all want to lay the blame on the distribution and storage by the grocers.
So, the “all the vitamins are in the skin” that I got from my grandma when I was a kid was just potato public relations? 🤣
No matter, I agree they are delicious.
Please, enjoy the attached mazes with your friends, family, & co-workers!
I hope you enjoy you have a pleasant holiday season and a happy new year, and a great going season next year. I know I am looking forward to planting some potatoes myself.
I may leave out some potato candy for Santa, if I don’t eat it all!
Tuber-ular Tidings to you & yours!
-Eric
I sent the mazes again, like an idiot. Ha ha. I forgot I had sent them previously. No reply or acknowledgement this time.
This came as response from Tasteful Selections, which are the ones pictured above:
Hi Eric,
Thank you so much for contacting us. I am terribly sorry for the poor experience you had with our product. I can assure you that the quality you saw is not our standard, and for this I apologize.
We strive to ensure that every package of potatoes that leave our farm is handled with the utmost care in order to deliver a quality product to our consumers. Unfortunately, sometimes temperature changes and changes in light make potatoes break down or decay faster than they normally would.
The greening you’re experiencing occurs when potatoes have been exposed to too much light, either natural or artificial, that gives the potatoes a sort of “sunburn.” While greening is a result of light exposure, the visible greening can be delayed. Potatoes exposed to light may be packaged and continue to green beyond our last inspection point. We make every effort to avoid this, however, in your case we were not successful. You can cut the green out of the potatoes and use the rest (although that’s a bit tougher with small potatoes), but eating the green portion of the potato can give a very bitter flavor.
I am sincerely sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you. We stand by our products and you should not have had to have an experience like this. I would like to make it up to you by offering you a product voucher to hopefully help compensate you for your troubles.
If I may please have your mailing address, I would be happy to send you a product voucher straight away. Again, my personal apologies for the frustration this has caused you.
Thank you for your response! I have been exasperated lately with the amount of green or sprouting potatoes from the grocery store. It is a consistent issue across brands and stores, and whether we use a service like I Instacart or pick a bag ourselves.
I understand, from your reply among others, that the issue is most likely occurring after it leaves the potato farm.
Can retailers like Aldi, Giant Eagle, or Target be better educated about potato shipping and storage?
Instacart already refunded us for the purchase of the recently sprouting spuds as that was clearly a shopper error.
If it was spring, I would just plant them! You have a delicious variety of golden potatoes, perfect for home-fries!
Sometimes, the green potatoes don’t reveal themselves until you crack open that bag about to prepare a meal.
I would just like some sort of solution going forward. What can the potato industry do to hold grocers accountable?
If I wanted the gastrointestinal distress and discomfort associated with eating green potatoes, I would just dine at Taco Bell or Pizza Hut. Right?
My mailing address is…
Eric AiXeLsyD
#### Nunya St.
Bidness, PA #####-####
…but again I’m not really looking for free potatoes, I just want to get what I pay for.
I appreciate you reaching out, and pride in the quality of your product. Please find my gift of the attached potato mazes, and share them with your co-workers and friends if so inclined.
Have a very starchy Christmas and a tuber new year!
-Eric
And I got a reply:
Hi Eric,
Thanks so much for getting back to me. I definitely understand your concerns. Our sales & business development team are already working with Produce Managers and providing resources for storing and caring for potatoes. We’ll continue to do our part, however, it ends up being the responsiblity of Produce Managers to not only train their staff, but also make sure they are following through with the potato best practices.
I have a few coupons headed your way.
Sincerely, Jenny
I like free potatoes. I will be on the lookout for potato vouchers!
Now, I have reached several road-blocks with getting a message to Aldi. They apparently do not like to give out email addresses.
I dug up some email formats & corporate names on teh Google mosheen and sent this, also to no avail (so far):
Greetings My Frugal Friends,
I hope you are gearing up for a pleasant, festive, and relaxing holiday season! I appreciate your role in bringing food & other goodies to our homes.
I write to you today with some tuber related shenanigans I have noticed over the last few years. I have submitted a missive to your contact form at the Aldi website to no avail. I have been checking my junk/spam folder too.
I also tried reaching out via Facebook and Twitter… only to be told that your social media teams are unfathomably unable to forward messages to your customer service team or provide an email address. I had to do some Googling, and I pray to a higher power that this reaches a live intelligent and empathetic human being.
I love potatoes. At rhe risk of sounding like Forrest Gump’s friend Bubba droning on about shrimp…
I love potatoes. I like home fries, hash browns, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, cheesy potatoes, hassleback potatoes, scalloped potatoes, potato candy, potato soup, lyinnaise potatoes, potato filling, tater tots, potato salad (hot or cold styles), shepherd’s pie, and sometimes even potato pancakes. Twice baked potatoes are a fantastic treat too. I hear potato vodka is good too, but I am not much of a drinker. Perhaps a potato beer would be more my speed if such a thing exists?
Nearly every bag of potatoes that I have purchased from your and/or your esteemed competitors over the last few years has had an alarmingly large amount of green solanine-filled potatoes. Glycoalkaloids are not our friends! On the mild end, eating green potatoes would be like chasing a Taco Bell meal with a laxative.
The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was one night at dinner when ready to bake 8 potatoes as a side to chili… 2 of the potatoes were totally green on the outside. They had been delivered by Instacart, but the green potatoes were not evident upon eying the outside of the bag.
That’s ¼ of rhe potatoes unusable for their intended purpose. Yes, I could have peeled away the green, but who wants a baked potato with no skin? That’s just craziness. Do I get ¼ of my money back?
I have written to and received replies from quite a few potato farms, and they all seem to point the finger at the end retailer… which in some cases is Aldi. They cite importer handling and storage… specifically exposure to light and longer than optimal time frames.
Perhaps the powers that be within your fine organization can put their heads together, asses your handling of these tiny starcchy underground gifts from heaven, and come up with ways to prevent waste? It may need to be a highly coordinated effort with logistics, distribution, shipping, and warehousing.
As an effort to aid exercise in meditation and clearing your thoughts, I have attached some potato themed mazes. Mazes and labyrinths have a history of assisting people to achieve a zen like state. Perhaps this will provide the needed clarity to prevent ultra violet potato decimation.
You have a fantastic business and I appreciate your effort to bring quality goods to the more budget-concious among us.
If requested, I can even forward my original (perhaps lost?) message.
Thank you for your time, I look forward to your thoughts on the matter!
Let’s root for a starchy Christmas and a tuber new year! -Eric
So, maybe that will get something. Maybe not. Giant Eagle hasn’t bothered to reply either.
Hmm. @GiantEagle still hasn't replied about these @SideDelights potatoes… even though Side Delights has. They cite improper handling by the big bird. All I get are crickets, no chirps, tweets, or even screeches.
@tastefulselect we got these from @aldiusa via @instacart yesterday. Instacart has refunded, but what gives with the ongoing potato issues? I have had so many green ones this past year or so. Are stores shipping/storing improperly?
Yeah, tried that. Got a phone number. Not interested in calling. I would like to send an email, but no one will provide an email address, and apparently your social media team can't just forward a DM to the customer service department. 🤷♂️🤦♂️
Well, the replies are starting to come in. While this certainly isn’t an issue as pressing, depraved, or salacious as the lady who put the pee in potato at Walmart that one time, it does seem to resonate with people.
Thank you so much for your prompt reply! This was a 5 lb. bag of Russet potatoes, I believed purchased at Aldi via Instacart. Unfortunately, I disposed of all the packaging. I cooked the whole bag! Well, everything that wasn’t green. It would have been purchased at the Aldi in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania… earlier this week. I really don’t want a rebate or anything. I just want to stop getting green potatoes. Can you imagine if 3 out of every dozen eggs were unusable? Or 5 slices of every loaf of bread just moldy? I may have to reach out to Aldi regarding their shipping/storage practices… and Instacart about their selection process. I am sure you take great pride in your potatoes. I know how I feel with a back yard garden, and I’m only feeding a family of 4. You guys must feed millions. I, really though, am going to reach out every time I get green potatoes, no matter the producer. We, as a society, can’t afford to not get the most value out of a dollar. I hope everyone can work together to get perfect produce into our kitchens.
Thank you for your time!
-Eric
And, they wrote back to me:
Hi Eric,
These are unique potato mazes! Thank you for sharing along with where you recently purchased your Alsum 5 lb. russet bag of potatoes. I’m hopeful the hands shopping for your produce through Aldi can be educated to remove from the store shelf any green potatoes to prevent this poor experience going forward. It might be worth the call to bring this to the retailers attention to help everyone have a good potato eating experience and use the bag in full.
As a consumer, I couldn’t agree more we need to stretch our food dollar, and it’s important from farmer to retail grocer to work together to provide a quality product.
We hope you give us another try.
Take care,
Christine
I wrote back once again:
Thank you Christine,
I have reached out to Aldi via web contact form and Facebook, but they are not nearly as quick as you with a response. I am sure you, like all of us, feel the pressure of stretching a dollar lately. I will most certainly give Alsum and Aldi (and even Instacart) another try. Hopefully they can adjust their potato handling process.
Thank you so much for your quick, informative and warm response. I hope the mazes can bring a smile to your co-workers’ faces!
You have a knack for writing, I enjoyed your email!
I am very sorry to hear about the many “green potato’s experiences” you have had. This particular purchase does worry me, we have not supplied potatoes to Giant Eagle since Sept. 29, 2022. So if they are our spuds, they were packed over 9 weeks ago and they would most definitely be green or breaking down. (We suggest a 4 week shelf life).
You are correct in saying eating green potatoes can be harmful, that is true but only if consumed in very large amounts. To play it safe, we tell everyone just to peel the green away or just throw it out.
Do you happen to have the kwik lock (plastic tie) to seal the bag? If so, can you tell me what the 6 digit numbers are? I am sorry I cannot be of much help on this one, but I would let the produce manager know so he or she can clean out their out of date bags on their produce shelf.
Thank you for your message,
Rachel
That was via webform, so I sent the potato mazes and this:
Hello Rachel,
Thank you for such a quick informative reply! I hope the attached mazes can entertain you & your co-workers. I believe I will follow up with Giant Eagle and other local grocers about the green potato issie. It seems that no potato farms are letting green potatoes out the door, but improper storage may be leading to green toxic tubers.
I must confess I have never put much thought into the choice of brands of potato. I just go with whatever is on the produce shelf. I will have to seek out Masser Spuds with intent from now on.
I don’t believe your product specifically was one that has recently been GOA (green on arrival) or turned quickly once it reached my home. I had some issues most recently with Alsum. In a bag of 8 total potatoes, 2 were green and unusable as baked potatoes to go along with the delicious chili that my wife made last week. It’s delicious because she follows my recipe although taking some unnecessary liberties on portions. The kids are crazy because they say hers is much much better than mine. I agree with them, because I may be crazy, but i am not stupid.
I also spotted an entirely green bag of Side Delights potatoes at the aforementioned Giant Eagle yesterday. It lends credence to the theory that Giant Eagle may need to take more care of their precious potato produce. A lot of people may not understand. I posted on social media asking if others had noticed the issue. On Nextdoor someone suggested that like bananas, I just let them ripen at home. 🤦♂️
Sadly though, the problem does not seem limited to any one store or potato farm. The Alsum bag with one quarter of the bag unusable was just the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. I feel like for the last 2 years, I have been getting a much greater number of green potatoes from Giant Eagle, Shop ‘n Save, Aldi, Walmart, Target, & even BJ’s Wholesale. It is usually only with bagged potatoes… not ones that I would pick fresh. There is the convenience of ordering from Instacart or Target home delivery. Arguably they should be picking better produce, but it is hard to see the whole bag.
Potatoes usually don’t last long here before they’re consumed. We grow our own in the summer, but they cannot fuel our entire consumption. Our small yard and time available are limiting,
If only Mythbusters was still a thing, perhaps they could tell us how much green potato we could safely consume before it felt like we had one of everything from the Taco Bell menu with a side of possible neurological complications.
Thank you once again for your time, and I do hope you enjoy the mazes.
Thank you!
-Eric
And that’s about it for now, other than some standard auto-replies, like this one from Aldi via Facebook Messenger:
I know you’re absolutely riveted by the saga and glued to the screen with anticipation of a solution to the great green potato crisis. Try the potato mazes while you wait!
Here’s a bunch more mazes. No real common theme. Inspiration is weird. Try ’em, post ’em, tag me. Post it on your WordPress or Instagram or Twitter, or Facebook or Tumblr or TikTok or whatever. I’m @aixelsyd13 on most all platforms. I think I even signed up for Hive and Mastodon. Host it somewhere and use html to post it here in the comments. You have a world full of options.
Do it on your phone or tablet. Print it and do it like it’s 1993. Have fun. There are no rules. Anarchy abounds!
Neighborhood Facebook groups and Nextdoor. They have a lot in common. Typically, the posts fall in one of these categories:
Fireworks or gun shots? It’s loud. No one cleared either with me.
What are all the sirens for? Where are they?
There is a suspicions person or group of teenagers walking around the neighborhood.
I found a hair in my pizza and thought I would try to destroy the livelihood of all involved.
Solicitation of professional goods and services, only by “a college student” or “retiree” willing to severely undercut prices for those professional services.
On a side note, I highly recommend @bestofnextdoor on Twitter.
But then there’s the worst kind. It starts innocently enough. Someone wants to know what is going in to an old building that’s vacant or being torn down/renovated. Then someone jokes, a bank, a mattress store, or Spirit Halloween.
Then. Then, its the worst. People answer the question with what they want to go there, but with authority (or lack of basic writing skills) and make it seem like that is what is going there.
They wish. They guess.
They equate real concrete answers to be as equally fanciful to their own.
People are wishing hard for Target, and Chick-fil-A . Then people say they don’t want Target or Chick-fil-A. Also, no one can spell Chick-fil-A, even as they are replying to something that mentions it and spells it correctly. It’s always Chic Filet or Chik Fila or something equally absurd. It’s a small, but maddening detail.
Actual photo of 50% of the local population.
I bring you, the saga of Burlington and most likely Ross moving into the old Bridgeville Kmart location, as presented by local Facebook groups and Nextdoor, and as ignored by members of local Facebook groups and Nextdoor. It’s all over local social media if you look, but no one an handle the search button. It generally looks like this, people: 🔍
I mean, if only all these could somehow link back to each other, and the actual factual information could be sorted out.
I hope they got the smell out of the building. That Kmart used to totally smell like poop over by the K Café.
All sings point to Burlington replacing Kmart and Chick-fil-A razing & rebuilding where the current empty Taco Bell lies. Ross and a Pet Smart may be squeezed into the Kmart space also. A little birdie told me because they saw my repeated request for factual information in these threads. A true journalist can’t reveal their source, right?
It’s Burlington. And maybe Ross, and PetSmart… and maybe even something else. It’s definitely not a Target.
🎯
My personal prediction: 6 months after Burlington opens in Bridgeville/Collier Township, people will still be asking (via Facebook community groups and Nextdoor) what is going in at the old Kmart location… and other people will still be answering that they drove by and saw red so it must be a Target. 🤦♂️
Actual factual information:
Collier Township Zoning Hearing Board on Burlington: ZHB-2021-0005
Collier Township Zoning Hearing Board on Chick-fil-A: ZHB-2021-0003
Thank you for coming to my TURD(Totally Unfounded Rumor Department) Talk.
OK. I really need to go do something more productive with my time now.
Please, feel free to share your actual factual information in the comments, or wildly speculative conjecture. Apparently feelings are facts everywhere these days, not just in politics.
With the world plunged into chaos due to COVID-19, it is important to remember other ways to keep safe.
🏊♀️💩🏊♂️
Thankfully, the CDC has your back! They also have secured the services of a graphic designer that is nothing short of a hero.
Diarrhea will never not be funny. Well, maybe if you lived at the time of the Oregon Trail it may have not been funny.
Diarrhea makes me laugh. Pizza Hut and Taco Bell jokes make me laugh. Remember the Pizza Hut maze and tweet? Government makes me laugh. Twitter makes me revile in disgust, but also laugh.
World (and Lunar) Domination 