Tag Archives: funny

Yinz Ain’t Drivin’ Right

Posted on by Standard 17

I saw this video thanks to Twitter this morning… I’m pretty sure it’s the one I’ve heard talked about as being a clip on GMA yesterday.  It sparked awe in me, and perhaps obviously this point, a rant.

I’m not even sure where to begin.  I mean, I’ve been amazed for years about the lack of caution during hazardous road conditions from my fellow southwestern PA motorists… but this is beyond amazement.  If I were in charge of public service announcements, my #1 topic/message would be that “AWD/4WD may help you go, but it doesn’t help you stop“… and to leave space between you & the vehicle in front of (or beside) you.  Too many people just drive like nothing’s going on out of the norm as far as road conditions during inclement weather.   Then again, you have the other end of the extreme… people driving like they’re afraid, and being so ‘cautious’ that they’re a danger to others.  But that’s all general.  I’d love to just point out the insanity in this video.

  1. The White SUV – Okay.  I live not too far from here.  It’s obviously quite a hilly area like most of southwestern Pennsylvania.  I would avoid hills like this if at all possible when I knew there were icy or even snowy road conditions…  To a certain extent in these neighborhoods all routes out involve some sort of hill, but there are less “extreme” grades around.  I wonder what sparked the camera man to start taping at this point?  What auto-acrobatics led up to a “wow, I should get this on video” moment?  Think all 3 cars there were damaged, or just the 1st 2?
  2. The Speedy Sedan – Seriously?  Did you just miss the twirling SUV… and the minivan that apparently decided to join the chaos only to make a futile attempt to clear a path for your louge-run?  It almost looked like someone stepped on the gas trying to go down that hill, Speed Racer.  I’d love to see the look on your insurance agent’s face when they see this pinball-machine like run, assuming you have insurance.  I hope you had a change of underwear in the car with you.  I feel bad for the poor guy who probably thought his car was safely parked in the front yard away from road hazards flanked by other vehicles… unless he ended up there just like this guy.  What flew to the left there that started out behind the parked black SUV?  A tree?
  3. The Concerned Citizen – Yeah, I get that you’re trying to help, but that may not be the best place to walk… in case, you know… someone else were dumb enough to slide down that hill.  He’ll re-appear later with a construction cone.
  4. Sedan #2 – Adds injury to insult while you’re distracted by Brian Boitano trying to cross the road.
  5. SUV #2 – Won’t be outdone… it’s a almost a sedanwich, but it turns into a nice little road block.  Maybe this will serve as a warning to other would-be travelers to turn around and go home?
  6. Sedan #3 – This driver likes a challenge, and decides to plow through the blockade just like in all those movies on Spike.  Another bright idea is to get small children out of the car and on to the icy road.

I’d love to read your thoughts.

(Video & News story also available here.)

Facewars | A New Status

Posted on by Standard 2

From Lamebook.com, too funny…

Lamebook | A New Hope... in one status

Thunder can’t quietly do anything. It’s thunder.

Posted on by Standard 2

Oh my goodness.

So funny.  I like this John Moe character.  There’s plenty more pop song correspondences, and even more content at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.  I really dig this cat’s style.

 

Trick or Treat? How about both?

Posted on by Standard 2

When I was a kid, and I went trick-or-treating… there were always a few memorable houses; The people that weren’t home but left a bowl of chips on the porch, the guy who gave out quarters (or 50¢ if your costume was “above an beyond”), and the guy who decorated his front porch like a haunted house and scared the crap out of you every year. The best was when he dressed as a scarecrow dummy and sat ridiculously still until your finger was just barely touching the doorbell and jumped up with a terrible scream.  I nearly filled my pants with fear at that place many a year.

That was fun.  Now that I’m of the old age where I need to pass out candy instead of collecting, I’d like to be that fun too.  Sadly, it seems to me that parents would get angry these days if I scared the bejesus out of their child.

I saw this comic online and thought it would be funny to set up shop on the front porch for Halloween:

Admiral Snackbar

Admiral Snackbar

Admiral Snackbar by Scott Johnson / EXTRALIFE (Twitter) (Flickr)

I don’t think I’ve grown out of wanting to wear costumes, and this looks like a good excuse.  All I need is some paint and an Ackbar mask.  Would you be creeped out to bring your kid up to get candy if Admiral Snackbar was set up, or would it be a cool memorable Halloween adventure?

Best Wendy’s Review Ever?

Posted on by Standard 1

…Well, according to Digg.  It is pretty awesome.

A Review of Wendy’s

It’s also more insightful that my Wendy’s reviews. Ha ha ha.

too late

Posted on by Standard Reply

I still find search terms amusing.

By far, the most hits I’ve been getting are still for the Sprint short code issue.  You’d think they’d have that ironed out by now…

9230 message failed
9230 message failed msg 1051
9230 sms sprint blocked shortcode
codes to get old text messages through s
devil short code (Ha! Scary?)
how to unlock short code texting on palm
how to unlock short codes? i have an unl
international text not working on sprint
message failed short code may have expir
message failed. short code may have expi
message failed. shortcode may have expir
msg 1051
msg1051
not receiving my alerts from my banks sh
short code texting may be blocked on you
shortcode blocked on sprint
shortcode texting blocked sprint
shortcode texting may be blocked
shortcode texting may be blocked on my a
sms error 9230
sprint message 1051
sprint message code 1051 from 9230
sprint msg 1051
sprint put a subject in sms to email
sprint short code radio station problem
sprint unblock shortcode text
text message failure shortcode may have

Movies are big, apparently…

“the experts” 1989
baby: secret of the lost legend
goonies chinese
wierd movie photos
willow film
wilow movie
dark crystal wikipedia

What movie?

a movie from my childhood

Star Wars related?

star wars blu ray
dark lord of the fifth

Looking for inspiration?

3d idea

No longer being made, but people want it!

yuengling bbq sauce
yuengling marinade

Excellent GN’R demo/bootleg:

crashdiet

I’d go to the Dormont Boro website:

how to get parking permit in dormont, pa

Yes, it is…

kuhn’s dirty

Pizza Hut, your pizza still turns people’s guts into water slides:

pizza hut hot cookie dough allergy info
pizza hut makes me poop
pizza hut pie charts
pizza hut sauce
sam-e and gastrointestinal distress

What?

ssa cheese tesselation

Looking for a job, or for the person?

store manager giant eagle cochran road

What is “Dark Lord Day“, and why are there photos?

dark lord day 2010 photo album

I hate the Flyers too:

how to get rid of fliers at your cook ou

Is this going to make me search for it too?

classical cosby lost fecal tirade

So ominous:

too late

Little Billy’s Letters

Posted on by Standard 2

Recently I found myself at Borders, planning to purchase another one of Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers, but I already have all the ones that they had there on the shelf (except for Wise Up, but I don’t know if I like the format of that one), and I’m impatient, so I decided to look around for another book in the humor section.

I found myself drawn to Little Billy’s Letters.  Bill Geerhart is like me.  He likes to annoy others with goofy letters.  His angle is that he’s writing these letters from Billy, his inner child.  I’m only about a quarter of the way through the book, and it is ridiculously entertaining.

From Amazon.com:

What do , Don’t Even Reply, the Church of Scientology, and Donald Rumsfeld all have in common?: They — and many others — have answered letters from “Little Billy”, a grown man with a cache of stamps and far too much time on his hands. Funny, touching, and delightfully quirky, Billy’s letters cover a broad range of subject matter:

  • Operation Drop-Out: Considering dropping out of elementary school, Billy writes to serial killers and celebrities seeking their wise counsel.
  • Billy’s Law: Which Supreme Court Justice prefers the Big Mac to the Whopper? Who is Janet Reno’s favorite crime fighter? What does Robert Shapiro say is the best defense for being framed for murder? Billy finds out.
  • The Making of the Class President: Billy runs for class president and collects “endorsements” from Nancy Reagan, Dick Cheney, George HW Bush, Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, Ken Starr, and Colin Powell.
  • Choosing My Religion: Billy asks representatives from the Catholic, Presbyterian, Mormon, Raelian, Satanic, Scientologist, Hare Krishna and Unification Church (Moonies) what is “cool” or “easy” about their religion.

Presidents, Supreme Court Justices, Celebrities, Heads of Corporations, Serial Killers, Robot Makers, and the NesQuick Bunny have all replied to “Little Billy’s” scrawled questions.

From Facebook:

In the ’90s and 00’s a grown man–in the guise of a child–wrote prank letters to politicians, CEOs, serial killers and others. “Little Billy’s Letters,” available March 9th from HarperCollins, is a collection of this insane correspondence.

Heh.  Right up my alley, right?

The replies from Charles Manson (& some Manson Family members) had me cracking up… making it even more funny is the fact that I probably shouldn’t be laughing at anything involving serial killers.

Advice from Bob Dole or Dan Quayle on anything is probably always hilarious.

Check out some awesome re-printed samples thanks to Boingboing:  Little Billy’s Letters to famous and infamous people

boingboing | Little Billy's Letters to famous and infamous people

It reminds me of some of my other absolute favorite books.  Idiot Letters by Paul Rosa is the first one of this kind that I picked up, and I think my favorite by default.  Then there was The Complete Idiot Letters (also by Rosa).  I think I also have Letters From a Nut, More Letters From a Nut, & Extra Nutty! Even More Letters From a Nut! by Ted L. Nancy.  If they’re not at my house, I’m sure they’re at my mom’s in my old room.  It seems to almost be an emerging genre…  There are a lot of similar books and even websites out there.

Maybe I need to get back to writing some more goofy letters & emails.

At any rate, I suggest picking up this book, or getting it at the library or in your Kindle or iPad or whatever you crazy kids do to read these days.  It’s absolutely hilarious.

Mustafi

Podcast?

Posted on by Standard 2

An interesting exchange/idea from my friend Terry on Twitter…

Passenger6x3 | @AiXeLsyD13 you dont you start a podcast?

AiXeLsyD13 | @Passenger6x3 I doubt I’d have much to say? Ha ha ha. I prefer the written word to audio or video for expressing myself any more…

Passenger6x3 | @AiXeLsyD13 get you and dave on the mic and it would be all good. about 4 hours ago via txt

AiXeLsyD13 | @Passenger6x3 Perhaps. We have discussed a viral video show. Ha ha. about 4 hours ago via web in reply to Passenger6x3

Passenger6x3 | @AiXeLsyD13: @Passenger6x3 Perhaps. We have discussed a viral video show. Ha ha.– do it!

Well, who else would be interested?  (Involvement in either helping/watching/listening…?)

Senator Wayne Fontana Reads His Mail.

Posted on by Standard 9

I had posted the following on my Facebook page and PittsburghBeat.com while ago, and wasn’t really sure if I’d get a response. Enough people seemed to be entertained by it, that I thought it did its job. Today, I got a letter in the mail from Senator Wayne Fontana. It’s also following the following.

So, tonight the doorbell rings… Bethany answers, and it’s a young woman from Clean Water Action. The girl at the door proceeds tell Bethany that she’s out raising support to clean up our waterways, and that if we like clean drinking water we ought to sign this petition.

Bethany signed after the girl at the door pointed to some bulleted talking points on her clipboard saying pollution is bad, and she then asked for a donation. Bethany, agreeing that clean water is good (and just wanting the girl to go away) gave her a check for $5.

The young lady at the door was very polite, and probably out for a good cause that she believes in wholeheartedly. I applaud her conviction and dedication.

Then, Bethany was given the following pamphlet and asked to write a letter to PA State Senator Wayne Fontana and leave it out on the porch for the young woman to pick up on her way back through in about a half hour.

The young political activist even handed Bethany a blank sheet of paper on which to write the letter. I found this very considerate.

Bethany sat down, perplexed at what to write. It’s hard to write a letter about an issue that you’ve just learned of minutes ago, mere seconds of those minutes being devoted to actually explaining the issue. She considered aloud just copying the text outlined in the “Tell Them” section of the handout and singing her name, and laughed.

You all know I like to write letters, so I happily offered to write in her stead.

I wrote:
Dear Senator Fontana,

My wife was asked to write this letter by a door-to-door political solicitor about an issue that was explained to her in less than 30 seconds with talking points laid out that (of course) over-simplify some situation about clean water initiatives.

She was asked to donate money to their cause, which she did, under duress.

I do not support their cause, and most likely their proposed bill includes some kind of legislation that will take property out of private hands for government use, or raise our taxes.

I’m sure there’s something that we’re not being told, or some sort of political affiliation or philosophy that’s not anything like mine behind this agenda.

Do I want clean water? Of course I do. Do I want anything else these people are pushing for? Probably not.

Perhaps a bigger issue to tackle would be to pass laws saying that people can’t solicit political issues door to door.

So, in closing, I apologize for wasting your time, my time, this envelope, a stamp, this ink, and this paper. I’m sure a Prius-driving sandal & socks wearing liberal is crying somewhere at my waste of precious resources.

Don’t you guys have e-mail addresses? I would love to hear your thoughts on the issue, and these “Clean Water Action” people. You can waste more ink, paper, stamps, & time by contacting me at the address above, or via email at my_email@ddre.ss.

Annoyed,
-(mE.)

We addressed it to Sen. Fontana, placed it in a sealed envelope, stamped it, and placed it on the porch for pickup by the young activist.

I do hope to get some sort of reply. Thanks to that woman for prompting this action, and for delivering my important message to the senator.

And, as promised, the response…

Yours is not the first story I've heard about the organizations's tactics in garnering support for their efforts.

Yours is not the first story I've heard about the organizations's tactics in garnering support for their efforts.

I think it’s awesome that the senator took the time to not only read my letter, but also to form a well-thought-out response.  This certainly does not appear to be a standard reply letter, and it’s good to know that others feel the same way.  Maybe something does get done by writing to your local politicians.

The last paragraph may not be what I needed to hear.