I felt like drawing another Halloween sort of maze. I will probably do some more. I wanted to give this a bit of color too. As always, I’d love it if you solved the maze on paper or on a screen, posted it so social media, & tagged me.
Have fun with this. Print it for your Halloween parties, to pass out with candy, or just for fun. Free to use, just don’t steal & sell it.
I really used to be super creeped out by spiders. Perhaps I should make a series of different kinds of spider mazes. The fly is kind of a blob here. I may do a cleaner version at some point. Still working out if I want the next book to have a theme or just be chaos (again).
You can get the black & white version on all kinds of stuff like stickers, T-shirts, mugs, & wall art at TeePublic & Redbubble.
You can also get the orange version on all kinds of stuff like stickers, T-shirts, hoodies, & aprons at TeePublic & Redbubble.
Die, slugs! Die! Recently I had an issue with what appears to be slugs going to town on the bean & pepper plants in my vegetable garden. It has been rather wet lately. It certainly could be other nefarious garden pests, but I may have a prejudice for these creepy little mollusks thanks to my shellfish & mollusk food allergies.
In with the shellfish thing, I’m weird about diatomaceous earth. It; seems like breathing it in can be sus, and it can be harmful to bees. I have crushed up some egg shells and strewn them about, but I’m not certain how effective that is. I try to always rinse them well & add to my compost anyway.
I decided to make some slug traps out of stuff from the recycling bin & a PBR. It was weird to buy 1 can of beer. I rarely drink any more & didn’t need a case or a 6-pack. I did finish off what was left of the 24 oz. can after I baited the traps though.
🚫🐌
I used two empty sour cream tubs, an empty cottage cheese tub, an iced tea jug, & a coffee container. We are perpetually excepting rain, so that’s why I made the covers. I made the cuts very quicky & very sloppy with my pocketknife because I’m impatient at times and of course decided to do this as the sun was going down.
I probably should anchor the covers somehow… but they have not blown away yet.
This morning, I counted 3 slugs overcome by a compulsion to consume delicious fermented hops.
Pour one out for the dead slugs, and drink to their memory as you listen to my Beer 🍻 playlist. Or, if you wanna get crazy, I have a Pabst Blue Ribbon 🥇 playlist. Why are there so many songs that name drop PBR? All I can think of that mentions Yuengling is Nerf Herder’s “New Jersey Girl.” Do any songs mention Straub?
What has proven to work well for you to repel garden pests? I have a small garden this year. I do like to keep the pollinators happy, and the birds n’ squirrels too.
Teriyaki Stuff [November 19, 2023] Why I want this sauce.
La Choy Teriyaki Terror [December 8, 2023] · I sent a maze to La Choy (Conagra) to literally illustrate my fristration at not being able to find their sauce.
Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.
From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ] To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.
Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.
We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.
Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.
Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.
From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com] Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM To: [me] Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.
From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.
If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.
From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.
Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.
We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.
From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade To: [me]
Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.
Melissa (Fresh Thyme)
Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST
Dear Eric,
Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.
I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.
Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer! Melissa Fresh Thyme Customer Care
Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.
You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.
I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.
I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.
I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.
Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.
The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?
I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.
Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.
I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.
I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.
I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!
Your Hangry Fan, -Eric aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com
Help me on my quest!
I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).
I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.
What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?
I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:
So, @ConagraBrands… how can you (in good conscience) call both of these #Teriyaki sacue with the only tiny disction on the label being one is a marinade & one is for stir fry… while one tastes like kissing an angel & the other like licking a demon's butthole? #LaChoypic.twitter.com/NvNohQ750J
I love to put together a holiday meal, especially thanksgiving. I have it down pretty good to corral the chaos.
Turkey in the electric roaster!Thanksgiving Dinner Plate!
First prepping the turkey & stuffing…
I do the bird in the electric roaster, stuffed, for 15-ish minutes per lb. @ 325° Farenheit. I roasted in the preheated pan on full for about 45 minutes at the start before turning it down. I inject the turkey in a few sports with a mixture of melted beer, butter, & spices. I usually rub some softened butter on top and toss on lots of seasoning there too. I usually pour a bottle of beer and a box of turkey broth in the bottom, & include some carrots, celery, & an onion.
Don’t worry about samonella with a stuffed bird. Take it to 165°. Always use a food thermometer. Some of the dark meat of the turkey will be overcooked but it will still be juicy & delicious. I haven’t killed anyone with my turkey yet.
The extra stuffing can be made into stuffing balls, but I put it in the crock pot. You just have to stir it, & maybe add extra turkey or chicken broth if needed or it will stick to the sides a lil’ burnt.
Do the math, & time it so you’re pulling the turkey out about a half an hour before you want to serve it.
I cut up the butternut squash first, & put it in the fridge for when I needed it.
I peeled & quartered the potatoes, let them sit in cold water (& turkey broth).
Cut up & prep the brussels sprouts & carrots, you want to pop them in about 45 min before you plan to eat.
Prep the squash & put it in right after the brussels sprouts.
Turn on the potatoes, by the time they cook & you do your thing… it the other stuff should be ready to go.
Others brought even more sides… cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, & rolls!
If I make green bean casserole, I pretty much use the Campbell’s recipe or French’s Fried Onions recipe… sometimes with an added can of mushrooms, fresh green beans, & maybe even some bacon pieces or ham.
Nothing kills holiday cheer faster than when someone offers you Christmas cookies; you gleefully accept and are presented with a tray covered in little jelly-filled things, lemon bars, and crap with nuts or coconuts all over it.
“Cookies” does not include anything with jelly in the middle, anything with nuts on or in it, lemon squares, Fig Newtons, anything with coconut shavings or flavoring. These are (in a term coined by my friend Saurav I believe) in fact “Dookies.”
Sugar cookies and shortbread are barely passable as cookies. (Sorry, Eat n’ Park.)
Pizelles can be tricky. Some of them are delicious, and some taste like what I imagine licking the inside of a dumpster in August would be like. If you use a spice called annis that sounds almost like anus, you get what you deserve.
Chocolate covered pretzels, Oreos, peanut butter crackers, etc. are acceptable.
Red licorice is OK, black licorice is not.
Thumbprints can be tricky too. If they have chocolate icing, usually only the icing is edible. The rest is tasteless powder formed into a cup of lies.
Do we need someone to make a flow chart? Are you getting this? Don’t ruin someone’s Christmas by offering cookies when you’re presenting dookies.
Unless it’s frozen and pretending to be ice cream.
My comment stands:
I’m just saying that if I was fake stranded with Bear Grylls or real stranded with Les Stroud, all the food we had was a cup of yogurt, and a hawk flew over and happened to drop a pair of mountain goat testicles, I would be like “So, call Alton Brown or get on Pinterest and find the best way to cook up these wild-ass mountain oysters!”
I bought some Magic Shell a while ago, and I thought I’d have some fun with Smucker’s. It really did have a bad aftertaste, but I decided to take the goofy up a notch.
I’d like to start out by saying I’m a big fan of your jellies. Of course I like grape, and we use the apricot preserves in a barbecue recipe. Mixed fruit jelly is my favorite by far. I’m always quite pleased when a restaurant has it in those little packets, and we usually buy 2 jars at a time for home. Why don’t they come in the big jars? That’s a question for another time though. I’m also a fan of your hot fudge topping. It’s the only brand we buy. You guys have it right.
This brings us around to why I am writing… This past weekend, I picked up some Chocolate Fudge Magic Shell at Walmart, because the shelf near the ice cream was void of your hot fudge topping & Hershey’s syrup. I remember having magic shell as a kid, but I’m unsure of the brand. I think I’ve even had the dipped cones at Dairy Queen too.
I didn’t get around to enjoying the Magic Shell until last night when I poured it over some Edy’s Slow Churned Cookie Dough ice cream. I’m not embarrassed to tell you that I was easily amazed at how the shell froze in a few seconds. I have to say it was also quite delicious and a good combination… except the after taste. It came on slowly, but it tasted like what I imagine licking cigarette ashes would taste like after you had just chewed an aspirin and left it on your tongue. It was odd, but I figured it may have perhaps been some artificial sweetener. I didn’t think much else of it.
Excuse me for being frank, but this morning, I had some constipation issues. My wife would attest that I am generally quite regular… or she may even say I heed nature’s call too often. The only thing that I ate out of normal yesterday would be your Magic Shell. I checked the ingredients to see of there was some sort of wax or anything that may be setting up camp in my colon, and I was surprised of the lack of anything sinister. Well, I’m not a fan of coconut, so the oil or even the alkali-processed cocoa may account for the aftertaste that didn’t agree with me. I’m not sure what whole milk solids are… and how they’re different from cheese. Have you guys ever had someone write in with the same problem? Do milk solids or soy lecithin cause blocked bowels? Have you done any research in this area?
I think I may stick with the regular hot fudge topping from now on. Even if there’s no issue with the Magic Shell, it has me kind of spooked.
Obstructed but Optimistic,
-Waldo Lunar
And, I got this boring reply:
From: consumer.relations@jmsmucker.com Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 8:26 AM Subject: Reference Number: 10026410 To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
March 13, 2013
Mr. Waldo Lunar
1111 Street Rd.
Earth, PA 22222
Dear Mr. Lunar,
Thank you for contacting The J.M. Smucker Company regarding Smucker’s® Magic Shell® Chocolate Fudge Topping. We greatly appreciate and value the input we receive from our consumers.
In order for us to best assist you, we would like to obtain some additional product information. Please, contact us toll-free by calling 888-550-9555, Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. When you call, it would be helpful to have the product available and to provide the representative with the reference number located at the bottom of this message. This product information will assist us in thoroughly reviewing your inquiry.
BIUB (Best If Used By) date Production code (Located near the Best If Used By date) City where purchased Storage information Detailed description of the issue
Thank you again for contacting The J.M. Smucker Company. We look forward to speaking with you soon.
From: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 8:22 PM Subject: Re: Reference Number: 10026410 To: consumer.relations@jmsmucker.com
Thanks Carla,
I prefer email to the telephone, hence why I used the online form in the first place. I can, however, provide the information requested:
BIUB (Best If Used By) date: SEP 2014 Production code (Located near the Best If Used By date): 10 0459 City where purchased: Bridgeville, PA Storage information: On the kitchen counter. Detailed description of the issue: Well, since I wrote with the issue already, & just received this seemingly standard reply, I’ll again give you my original missive…
[original email]
If you need further details, I’m not sure I’m prepared to share. So, have others emailed or called to complain? I can only assume so if you’re looking at a lot number. Does Magic Shell induce constipation on a regular basis?
Puzzled,
-Waldo Lunar
This came in the mail this weekend:
Letter from Smucker’s
Along with some coupons:
I found it quite amusing, but they never did address the constipation. I won’t be buying any more magic shell with these coupons. It really did have a horrible aftertaste. Maybe I’ll buy some hot fudge, or more mixed fruit jelly.
On an unrelated note, I’ve never understood their slogan; “With a name like Smucker’s, it’s got to be good.” Are they implying that their name us stupid or sounds unappetizing? Odd. I’d be all like “If you don’t like Smucker’s, you’re a sucker.” …or something.
I’m not an architect, or a contractor, or even a toilet salesman… but I think I’ve found a flaw in a certain type of hotel room / bathroom setup. I’m no germaphobe, but I believe this design to be quite unsanitary.
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
What design? The sink outside of the bathroom design.
Sure, it’s convenient to shave or brush your teeth while someone else is pooping or showering… But at what cost do we purchase this convenience? The cost of a bazillion tiny germs all over the inside of the door handle after you wipe and before you wash your hands. Sure, you can grab an extra wad of toilet paper for your journey outside. How many people do that though? How much microscopic fecal matter is already on that door handle? Did the maid think to wipe it down? What if you forget after you get out of the shower? You just washed yourself, and now your hand may venture into a feculent festival of filth.
Am I doing something wrong here? Am I missing something? Let’s get this right so I don’t have to touch poop-encrusted (albeit microbial poop) door handles.
World (and Lunar) Domination 