Culinary Anarchy | You don’t have to parboil the lasagna noodles!


A slice of lasagna on a white plate, showcasing layers of pasta, ricotta cheese, meat, and marinara sauce.
Leftover Lasagna – about to be re-heated in the microwave.

I have seen it out there on the internet for years, and I was afraid. Surely the ready-to-bake lasagna noodles are drastically different from the regular ones, right? I’m not talking fresh pasta that needs no prep… I mean the dried boxed stuff that food snobs will tell you is inferior.

I did it. No one died. Everyone seemed to like it. I’ll put my recipe down here first & the shenanigans after that… because Threads gave me some shenanigans. Trigger warning for Nonnas worldwide: I put brown sugar in jarred sauce. Proceed with caution.

Here’s what I did…

Ingredients:

  • (3) 15 oz. containers ricotta cheese
  • (2) 8. oz/2 cups bags shredded Mozzarella/Provolone cheese
  • (1) 2.41 lbs. package 90%/10% ground beef
  • (1) small zucchini, shredded (maybe 2 cups?)
  • (3) 24 oz. jars marinara sauce
  • (1) 1 lb. box Barilla lasagna noodles
  • (2) eggs
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan/Romano cheese
  • shredded parmesan (to taste)
  • fresh curly parsley (to taste)
  • Italian seasoning (to taste)
  • dried parsley (to taste)
  • brown sugar (to taste)
  • jarred minced garlic (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • paprika (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash table blend (to taste)
  • salt (to taste)

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 375° (Next time I may do 350° for a longer time, but we were in a but of a hurry.)
  2. Brown the beef in a pan on the stove with some of all your spices to taste. (I could/should have included onion here.)
  3. Mix the ricotta, one bag of the shredded cheese, the grated parmesan, a bit of the shredded parmesan, the eggs, fresh parsley, & shredded zucchini in a large bowl, again with all the spices including the garlic.
  4. This filled two 9×13″ glass baking dishes for me. I think I layered them both a bit different. Follow your heart. Put sauce on the bottom, sprinkle in some brown sugar, the dry lasagna noodles, the ricotta mixture, the ground beef, some more shredded cheese, more sauce, more noodles, and just keep going. I did put a very little bit of water in the jars of sauce to swirl around & empty more.. and put that into the dishes too. Sprinkled cheese and made sure there was lots of sauce on top of each.
  5. Cover them tightly with foil & put them in the oven for 50 minutes.
  6. Take out, sprinkle on some more of the shredded parmesan, cook for another 10 minutes.
  7. Pull out, rest for a bit, then serve.

Notes:

  • Like I said, lower & slower next time. Maybe 350° for an hour then uncover & go for another 15 minutes?
  • Carrots may be good in with the ground beef… and/or mushrooms?
  • Maybe spinach in the cheese mixture or as another layer. Let’s get some fiber up in here.
  • I don’t generally like sausage, but if you do it’d be good here for sure.
  • What would you do?

🍝

Readers, let me tell you… people have feelings about calling that strip of pasta a “lasagna noodle.” There is also the fact that “American” lasagna has ricotta, but traditional does not. I was even told that because I added shredded zucchini it is no longer lasagna. I have made it replacing the pasta with long thinly-sliced zucchini planks and still called it lasagna.

People have lost their damn minds. No one knows that food and language evolve over time and across regions and even households?

I did plug my ingredients list into Gemini, ChatGPT, Perplexity, & Copilot to see what they would churn back out, but honestly I didn’t follow through with any of their advice.

I also make wedding soup incorrectly and put beans in chili. Clutch those pearls! Enjoy a meatball club. Hell, join the meatball club!

I look forward to your thoughts about lasagna, your tips, tricks & recipes, and the nuance of semantics involving pasta naming conventions in the comments. How do you layer yours? I feel like I need a way deeper pan. Do you go “traditional” and eschew ricotta? Do you call lasagna noodles lasagna noodles or are you pretentious?

I leave you with the discourse:

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Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup w/ Ham n’ Cheese Beer Bread Sandwiches 🧀🥦🥣🍺🥓🍞


It’s cheeseception. I wanted to try that cheesy beer bread in some grilled ham & cheese sandwiches… and I needed some soup for the side, right? Why not up the cheese level with my old broccoli cheese soup or my potato soup? I thought the fiber from the broccoli may be beneficial. 😆

I altered the recipe a bit.

Golden roasted broccoli cheddar soup with pops of green and orange (from carrots) in a small white bowl with a spoon sitting beside a panini-grilled ham & cheese sandwich with cross-hatch lines on a white plate.  It's all on a wooden counter top, beside a wooden cutting board,
Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup and a Cheesy Beer Bread Grilled Ham & Cheese Sandwich

I probably should have stuck with a traditional tomato soup to combat the absolute decadent richness, but this soup was pretty damn good. I want to try to make a roasted butternut squash soup eventually too… but not sure that would pair well with this sandwich?

I did spice-up my original broccoli cheese soup recipe. This could be a full meal, or a side to a nice turkey or roast beef sandwich. Recipe down below. That’s what I did this time. I’ll probably make it slightly different next time. Everyone does that, right?

As far as the sandwich, I just cooked some lunchmeat ham for a few seconds on the panini grill, sliced up the cheesy bear bread, buttered the outsides with softened butter, and stacked it with some individually wrapped cheese slices… cooked on high on the countertop grill to sear & melt it all at once. I should have gotten a side view, but I was hungry.

🥦🧀🥣 Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup | The Recipe

This is like my last recipe, but slightly altered.

Ingredients:

  • 2 sticks of butter
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or whatever kind you like)
  • 1 cup of flour
  • ½ cup of shredded carrots
  • ¼ cup of diced celery
  • ½ Spanish onion
  • 1 Tbsp. minced garlic
  • ½ tsp. ground mustard
  • ½ tsp. paprika
  • ½ tsp. onion powder
  • ½ tsp. garlic powder
  • ½ tsp. salt-free table blend seasoning
  • ¼ tsp. white pepper
  • Salt, black pepper, & dried parsley to taste
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 32 oz. box of chicken stock
  • 32 oz. box of vegetable broth
  • 12 oz. bottle or can of beer (I used Yuengling Traditional Lager.)
  • 2 tsp. Ham Broth Base (I used Orrinton Farms)
  • 3 bundles of fresh broccoli (chopped up into spoon-sized pieces)
  • ¼ cup of bacon pieces
  • 10 oz. block of extra sharp cheddar cheese (grated)
  • 10 oz. block of white cheddar cheese (grated)
  • ½ cup of parmesan cheese
  • 16 oz. block of Velveeta (cut onto small chunks)
  • 2 cup bag of shredded “mac & cheese blend” cheese

Method:

  1. Pre-heat oven to 425°, & do all your chopping/shredding/measuring.
  2. Toss about ⅔ of the broccoli, & a bit of carrots & bacon pieces in a bowl with salt, pepper, & oil to coat. Roast on a sheet pan for about 20 minutes.
  3. While that is going, melt butter on medium heat in the bottom of your stock pot, add celery, carrots, onions, garlic, & sauté for a bit.
  4. Mix all the spices with the flour, add to pot to make a roux and let it get a nice color brown.
  5. Add the beer slowly to the roux, then the boxes of stock, then the buttermilk.
  6. Add remaining ⅓ of broccoli & bacon pieces, bring to a boil, simmer for about 15 to 20 minutes.
  7. The roasted broccoli should be done, hold it until you have 5 min. left of simmering.
  8. Turn heat to low, stir in all that cheese. (I mixed it all into a bowl 1st)

Notes:

  • This was a different soup when roasting vs the last time. I could honestly go for either again.
  • I used whatever seasonings at every step as they struck me in addition to the measured amounts.
  • I did pop in a squirt of yellow mustard, too. Mustard is botanically related to broccoli, & acts as an emulsifier.
  • Fresh real bacon would be incredible here, maybe more of it… or even bits of cubed ham.
  • You could skip the beer & do 1½ cups of water with the ham bullion or Better Than Bouillon. I like to use Straub Amber to cook too.
  • I wonder if a red bell pepper would be good in this too?
  • This makes a large pot, so hope you like leftovers.
  • My apologies to vegans, the lactose-intolerant, and the dairy-allergic.

🥦🧀🥣

OK, so how would you make your broccoli cheddar soup? Can I call this broccoli cheddar when it also includes other kinds of cheese? What are your thoughts on the roasting? Would you try this? Do you have a broccoli cheese soup go-to recipe? How about any tips & tricks?

Zucchini Two Ways


Like everyone who has a vegetable garden, or even just one potted plant, we have an abundance of zucchini. I was asking AI language models for casserole cooking times & temperatures based on what I had around & could easily grab from the store, and I sort of picked a hybrid of all of them. I used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, & CoPilot. Originally I had been asking about zucchini bread recipes, then asked about the casserole. It is interesting to bounce ideas off of them.

Zucchini Casserole & Pizza-ish Zucchini Things on a white plate.
“Zucchini!” (But, say it like a Jawa yelling “Utini!” in Star Wars.)

I had the idea for the lil’ zucchini things last time I made breaded zucchini & ran out of breadcrumbs before zucchini.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I hesitate to call this a casserole, because the kids are on a brainrot social media kick where they have been informed somehow that Crock⬩Pot meals & casseroles are bad. The best part is they both ate & loved it… one even went back for more. It was a hit with the wife too, and I’d eat it again.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini - the top of a casserole dish just out of the oven, with a nice brown crispy breadcrumb topping over gooey melted cheese.
Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I felt like making a casserole, but not making a mess by pre-cooking/par-cooking or measuring anything. So… I ended up making two 9″x13″ casseroles. Here it is to the best of my memory.

The ingredients:

  • 1 ridiculously large zucchini from the garden.
  • 1 Spanish onion
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 pack (1½ lbs.) of chicken breasts
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 (16 oz./1 lb.) box of Ditalini pasta
  • 1 (15.5 oz.) can of garbanzo beans
  • 2 (8 oz.) blocks of cream cheese, softened (Leave it out for a bit, nuke it, or cradle it in your armpits.)
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of shredded white cheddar cheese
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of Havarti cheese
  • 1 (1½ cup) bag of Gouda cheese (Same damn size bag – thanks, shrinkflation!)
  • 1 (32 oz./4 cups) box of chicken stock
  • 1 stick (4 oz./½ cup) butter.
  • Breadcrumbs – Maybe 3 cups?
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic from a jar because elicits unwarranted hate.
  • Seasonings to taste – I used Rotisserie Chicken seasoning, Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend, Black Pepper, White Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Paprika, & dried parsley. Ain’t nobody measuring all that.

I was going to include some “bacon pieces,” but I must have left them in the store, or they fell out in the car, or I put them in a weird place or threw them out, because they absolutely are in what may as well be a pocket dimension.

The Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375°
  2. Grease apparently two 9″x13″ glass baking dishes with a stick of butter.
  3. Get two mixing bowls. In one, whisk the egg, then fold in the cream cheese, the chicken stock, the garlic, the (drained) chickpeas, about half of each of the shredded cheeses, the dry Ditalini, and spices in one mixing bowl.
  4. Slice up the bell pepper, onion, zucchini, & chicken in consistently sized cubes. (If you left the zucchini in the garden too long like I did, cut out the spongy center.) Put all that in the other mixing bowl, toss it with some more of all the spices.
  5. Mix the contents of the two bowls together as you string together new swear words and wish you have an even more ridiculously larger mixing bowl.
  6. Put those into the baking dishes. Or one big one, or a casserole dish, or whatever you’ve got. Cover with foil, place in oven, & bake for 45 min.
  7. Melt the remainder of the stick of butter in a microwave safe bowl. Or a microwave unsafe bowl if you’re an agent of chaos. Dump in some breadcrumbs and toss them in the butter, so the breadcrumbs are coated but not all gross. I used a mix of panko & regular. I did not measure.
  8. Pull from the oven, but leave it on, remove foil.
  9. Spread the remaining shredded cheese on the top of the casseroles, then the buttery breadcrumbs… and put it back in the oven. I swapped it to 350° on a convection setting at this point for 15 minutes… but you do you.

Notes:

  • YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRE-COOK THE CHICKEN, PASTA, OR VEGETABLES. You certainly can, and it may deepen the flavors and reduce baking time, but I wanted to do this all in one go. I checked the chicken in a few sports with an instant-read and it was a bit over the USDA recommended 165°.
  • I was going to mix the cheeses together at the end, but why dirty another bowl? I dumped them on almost somewhat evenly.
  • Obviously, cut out what you don’t like, add what you do, skip stuff, or add stuff.
  • I may try this again with bacon or ham… but there was a good bit of salt in all the cheeses already, and probably the chickpeas.
  • I may try this with shredded zucchini and maybe leaving the chicken breast cutlets whole on top. Maybe.
  • Ricotta instead of cream cheese may be good too.
  • Use chicken broth, bone broth, vegetable broth, milk, water, or whatever… just give the pasta enough liquid to absorb.

Pizzucchini Teeny Mini

Again, this was a quick idea I had last tame I made air-fried breaded zucchini and ran out of bread crumbs because the zucchini multiplies as I sliced it. I did it in the oven quick after I yanked out the “let’s not call this casserole a casserole.”

Melted cheese, some toasted breadcrumbs, & pizza sauce over a round slice of zucchini.
Pizzuchini Teeny Mini

Ingredients:

  • 1 normal-sized zucchini.
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of “pizza cheese”
  • 1 (15 oz.) squeeze bottle of pizza sauce
  • a bit of EVOO
  • Maybe ½ cup of breadcrumbs

The Method:

  1. Do you really need instructions here? I put the oven on 400° on the air-fryer setting. I didn’t pre-heat it because it was already running.
  2. I sliced the zucchini about ¼-inch thick, and put it on the baking sheet over a bit of EVOO.
  3. I dropped on some sauce, some cheese, and a tiny bit of breadcrumbs.
  4. I put it the oven for 15 minutes.

Notes:

  • What the hell is “pizza cheese?” It said that on the bag. I guess mozzarella & provolone? Please tell me in the comments that it is all plastic & slowly killing me. Maybe I should have read the bag.
  • I will probably skip the EVOO or get a cooking rack for the air fryer setting.

~🧀~

OK, so that’s it. Hit me up with suggestions, questions, love, or hate in the comments! Share your zucchini recipes, too!

How yinz make your chili? 🌶 [Chili à la AiXeLsyD “Recipes”] 🌶


Yinz like chili?  I do.  I haven’t made any for a long time.  I may need to change that.  I stole this (& modified it) from my never-used Cookpendium blog.  My writing has hopefully improved since then.  Maybe not.  I like a tamer chili that would appeal to a wide variety of people to add heat as they like.  I like it thick enough to make a spoon stand.  I can take or leave the beans, and I reject your debatable elitist visions of chili or what it ought to be.

I ought to try and make a new batch using only stuff I buy at Aldi.

How do you make yours?


[Originally from a post at (the now defunct) PittsburghBeat.com, here’s a few consolidated chili recipe/methods…]

Recipe 1:

I’ve never made chili before, and in researching, I came across 50 billion recipes. So, this morning I made my own in the crock pot…

  • 2 cans of condensed tomato soup
  • 1 can of tomato paste
  • 1 packet of chili mix
  • about ½ cup of water
  • 1 tsp. of beef bullion
  • 1 can light red kidney beans
  • however much ground meat was leftover from last night
  • 1 tsp. cumin
  • 1 tsp. black pepper
  • a dash of cayenne pepper
  • a dash of paprika
  • a dash of garlic

…and I slapped it into the crock pot on low for 8 hours.

Hope it tastes good when I get home. I’ve got shredded cheddar cheese for the top of it, & Super-Pretzels to go along with it. They always served pretzels & chili in my elementary school cafeteria so they belong together in my warped mind.

Most of them use tomato paste, soup, sauce, juice, or diced tomatoes as a base… I even saw one that called for Spicy hot V8… and I think my mom always used soup. Tomato paste is usually bitter, so I figured the tomato soup would counteract it. All of the spices should be rockin’. I like my chili thick.

Oh yeah, about 1/2 the ground meat was cooked w/ some seasoning salt & A1.


Recipe 2:

Here’s what basically went into my chili. I’ll probably eventually make a blog about it with a narrative so I can remember what I did this time for next time… to see what I wanna change or what I wanna do again.

I ended up only using the one can of diced tomatoes (the one with jalapeños) and still kind’ve overflowed the pot by a small amount. So, next time I may cut out one can of tomato soup or a can of beans. Also, I want to try garbanzo beans in my next batch… and I’ve heard chocolate powder goes good in chili some times… so I wanna try that one day too.

I also tossed in 2 slices of Velveeta ripped apart, a dash of spicy brown mustard, and a drop or 2 of A1 Cracked Peppercorn Steak Sauce.

I think the meat that I used was too fatty or I didn’t drain enough fat (…even though I got a about ⅔ of a regular sized plastic cup full of fat out of it). I had to skim some excess grease off of the top when I popped it open this morning.

I’ll let you know the general consensus after it’s been consumed.

[Edit:  It was good.]


Recipe 3:

I must have pinned this at some point, too.  Someone re-pinned it here…

I think it was a joke about Pepto because this chili killed my guts, even served over mashed potatoes.


Share your chili recipes with me in the comment section below.  Don’t be a jag and sit on your secret ingredient(s).  Is it cocoa powder?  Chocolate bars?  Corn?  Zucchini?  Cinnamon?  Potatoes?  Steak?  Instant potato flakes?  Cornmeal?  Chupacabra?

How do you serve it?  In a bowl?  Over baked or mashed potatoes, rice,or spaghetti?  With soft pretzels or cornbread?  With tortilla chips or crackers?

How do you cook it?  Crock pot?  Dutch oven?  Stove top?  Over a campfire?

Do you like the Hormel canned stuff or the stuff from Wendy’s?  Who makes your favorite?

Spill it!

Those Other Stuffed Peppers


So, tonight for dinner I made a new (to me) one.  The wife has made it several times and it’s always a hit with the kids.  I think her original recipe was entitled Santa Fe Stuffed Peppers.  This takes out a bit of the spice and she’s not a huge fan of black beans (which I would have included).  Everything here came from Aldi, except the slices of white American cheese.  We just had that on hand, and no shredded cheese.  It worked well.

Our 3 year old daughter wolfed down about a pepper and a half worth of filling, skipping the outer pepper for some reason.  (She would possibly eat it all, or just the reverse tomorrow.)  She said that we should have it every night for dinner.  I noted that she really likes these, and her mom’s homemade Manwich-like sloppy joes, and that we should start a food truck that specializes in ground meat and call it “Ground Around Town.”  She said we have to paint it pink.  I asked if she wanted to cook or wash dishes.  She chose cooking.

Out of all the stuff you think kids might be picky about, they gobble this up.  (3 yo & 18mo).  I like these better than the more traditional meatball w/ rice stuffed in a green pepper & covered in spaghetti sauce or tomato soup.  For some reason, I can dig the rice & ground meat mixed… but I do not like rice in meatballs.  The red, yellow, & orange peppers are very sweet too.  I like them more than the green ones.  Also, if you mention that you like your peppers stuffed with sausage, you can just close this tab and move on.

These were really easy to make…

All I did was…

Cook the rice & set it aside.  I used the liquid from the can of tomatoes & a beef bullion cube in the water.

Cut the tops off of the peppers, pull out seeds & weird white stuff off of the inside.  (Bethany parboils them first, I didn’t.  I liked them a bit crunchier.)

Brown the ground beef, season to taste.  I added onion powder, garlic powder, & seasoned-salt.  (We have also used ground turkey for this.  It’s delicious.)

Mix the fire-roasted diced tomatoes into the ground meat after draining the fat off.

Mix the rice & beef/tomatoes together.

Put the peppers in a glass baking dish.  Pack the peppers with the tasty rice & beef goodness.  Two didn’t stand up well on their own, so I made little foil stands.

I cooked them in a preheated oven at 375° for 20 minutes, then added the slices of cheese for 5 minutes.

Like I said, Bethany parboils the peppers so they’re a bit softer, so she cooks it at 325° for 20-25 minutes.

Next time, if I make this, I may cook the rice in tomato paste or other tomato flavoring, and add the black beans.  Not sure what the kids would think.  Maybe a little bit of heat would be nice too?  This reminds me of Spanish rice in a pepper.

 

 

Do you make anything similar?  Do you do stuffed peppers a different way?  Do you stuff acorn squash like this?  Do you do different seasonings?  Make ’em meatless?  (Toasted garbanzo beans & black beans might be really good in this!)  Let me know in the comments!

Magic Shell, Magic Poop?


I bought some Magic Shell a while ago, and I thought I’d have some fun with Smucker’s.  It really did have a bad aftertaste, but I decided to take the goofy up a notch.

I submitted the following to their webform:

Hello Friends,

I’d like to start out by saying I’m a big fan of your jellies. Of course I like grape, and we use the apricot preserves in a barbecue recipe. Mixed fruit jelly is my favorite by far. I’m always quite pleased when a restaurant has it in those little packets, and we usually buy 2 jars at a time for home. Why don’t they come in the big jars? That’s a question for another time though. I’m also a fan of your hot fudge topping. It’s the only brand we buy. You guys have it right.

This brings us around to why I am writing… This past weekend, I picked up some Chocolate Fudge Magic Shell at Walmart, because the shelf near the ice cream was void of your hot fudge topping & Hershey’s syrup. I remember having magic shell as a kid, but I’m unsure of the brand. I think I’ve even had the dipped cones at Dairy Queen too.

I didn’t get around to enjoying the Magic Shell until last night when I poured it over some Edy’s Slow Churned Cookie Dough ice cream. I’m not embarrassed to tell you that I was easily amazed at how the shell froze in a few seconds. I have to say it was also quite delicious and a good combination… except the after taste. It came on slowly, but it tasted like what I imagine licking cigarette ashes would taste like after you had just chewed an aspirin and left it on your tongue. It was odd, but I figured it may have perhaps been some artificial sweetener. I didn’t think much else of it.

Excuse me for being frank, but this morning, I had some constipation issues. My wife would attest that I am generally quite regular… or she may even say I heed nature’s call too often. The only thing that I ate out of normal yesterday would be your Magic Shell. I checked the ingredients to see of there was some sort of wax or anything that may be setting up camp in my colon, and I was surprised of the lack of anything sinister. Well, I’m not a fan of coconut, so the oil or even the alkali-processed cocoa may account for the aftertaste that didn’t agree with me. I’m not sure what whole milk solids are… and how they’re different from cheese. Have you guys ever had someone write in with the same problem? Do milk solids or soy lecithin cause blocked bowels? Have you done any research in this area?

I think I may stick with the regular hot fudge topping from now on. Even if there’s no issue with the Magic Shell, it has me kind of spooked.

Obstructed but Optimistic,
-Waldo Lunar

And, I got this boring reply:

From: consumer.relations@jmsmucker.com
Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 8:26 AM
Subject: Reference Number: 10026410
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

March 13, 2013

Mr. Waldo Lunar
1111 Street Rd.
Earth, PA 22222

Dear Mr. Lunar,

Thank you for contacting The J.M. Smucker Company regarding Smucker’s® Magic Shell® Chocolate Fudge Topping. We greatly appreciate and value the input we receive from our consumers.

In order for us to best assist you, we would like to obtain some additional product information. Please, contact us toll-free by calling 888-550-9555, Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. When you call, it would be helpful to have the product available and to provide the representative with the reference number located at the bottom of this message. This product information will assist us in thoroughly reviewing your inquiry.

BIUB (Best If Used By) date
Production code (Located near the Best If Used By date)
City where purchased
Storage information
Detailed description of the issue

Thank you again for contacting The J.M. Smucker Company. We look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sincerely,
Carla
Consumer Relations Representative

Ref # 10026410

So, I wrote back:

From: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 8:22 PM
Subject: Re: Reference Number: 10026410
To: consumer.relations@jmsmucker.com

Thanks Carla,

I prefer email to the telephone, hence why I used the online form in the first place. I can, however, provide the information requested:

BIUB (Best If Used By) date: SEP 2014
Production code (Located near the Best If Used By date): 10 0459
City where purchased: Bridgeville, PA
Storage information: On the kitchen counter.
Detailed description of the issue: Well, since I wrote with the issue already, & just received this seemingly standard reply, I’ll again give you my original missive…

[original email]

If you need further details, I’m not sure I’m prepared to share. So, have others emailed or called to complain? I can only assume so if you’re looking at a lot number. Does Magic Shell induce constipation on a regular basis?

Puzzled,
-Waldo Lunar

This came in the mail this weekend:

March 20,2013    Dear Mr. Lunar,  Thank you for contacting The J.M. Smucker Company with your inquiry regarding Smucker's® Magic Shell® Chocolate Fudge Topping. We greatly appreciate and value the input we receive from our consumers and take very seriously any comments pertaining to product quality.   Since we greatly value your comments and your loyalty, your experience has been brought to the attention of our quality assurance department. We want to assure you that our products are made of the best quality ingredients available and by the most carefully controlled procedures known in the food industry.   We appreciate the time required to share your comments with us and are enclosing coupons that we hope you will use to again try our products.   If you have any additional questions or comments, please contact us by calling 888-550-9555, Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.     Sincerely, Carla  Consumer Relations Representative   Ref# 10026410   Enclosure: 2 Smucker's® $4.00 Coupon(s)   THE J.M. SMUCKER COMPANY· STRAWBERRY LANE, ORRVILLE, OHIO 44667-0280 TELEPHONE (330) 682-3000 • FAX (330) 684-3370 • www.smuckers.com

Letter from Smucker’s

Along with some coupons:

I found it quite amusing, but they never did address the constipation.  I won’t be buying any more magic shell with these coupons.  It really did have a horrible aftertaste.  Maybe I’ll buy some hot fudge, or more mixed fruit jelly.

On an unrelated note, I’ve never understood their slogan;  “With a name like Smucker’s, it’s got to be good.”  Are they implying that their name us stupid or sounds unappetizing?  Odd.  I’d be all like “If you don’t like Smucker’s, you’re a sucker.”  …or something.

We have a Winner! Bronco Berry Ball Sauce


Bronco Berry Poll

#Bronco13 Contest

Trista’s Bronco Berry Ball Sauce wins!  Thanks to all 3 of your for submitting recipes, thanks to all 13 of you who voted.  (Or less people, multiple times…)

I thought I had set up the poll to close automatically after a week… but it seems to have kept going.  So, I froze it in time with the screen capture to the right.

I’ll contact Trista to let her know she won, and get the 13 packets of Bronco Berry goodness on their way to her!

If you have no idea what this is all about, where have you been?  You may follow the adventures of Bronco Jalapeño in these posts:

Perhaps Trista will give us an acceptance speech, or a photo of her Bronco Berry Ball Sauce!

We have three #Bronco13 contest entries! Vote for your favorite.


So, about 2 weeks ago, I started a contest.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to delay the voting portion for a week.  We shall commence forthwith.

We have 3 entrants, and now it’s up to you the reader to decide who wins 13 packets of Arby’s glorious Bronco Berry Sauce that was bestowed upon me by Hala Moddelmog.

Here are the entries, you may vote for your favorite at the bottom:

Savory Bronco Balls by Matt

1 lb. ground beef
1/2 c. dry bread crumbs
1/3 c. minced onion
1/4 c. milk
1 egg
1 tbsp. parsley flakes
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. shortening
2 Cups Bronco Sauce

Mix beef, crumbs, onion, milk, egg, parsley flakes, salt, pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. Gently shape into 1-inch balls. Melt shortening in electric skillet, brown meatballs. Remove meatballs from skillet; drain off fat. Heat Bronco Berry Sauce in large crock pot stirring constantly. Add meatballs; stir until coated. Simmer 30 minutes, serve hot with a toothpick or in a sub roll.

The BBP by Damaris

(Bronco Berry Pierogie)

Ingredients
*Pierogies
*Butter
*Bronco Berry Sauce

Directions
*crisp up some Pierogies in butter in a skillet
*put on a plate
*dip in Bronco Berry Sauce, or drizzle on for a fabulous presentation

Bronco Berry Ball Sauce by Trista

Sauce:
Ingredients:

48 precooked meatballs

(Meatball recipe at the end for people who don’t know how to wad together some meat and seasoning)
12 oz bottle of Heinz Chili Sauce
8 oz jar of grape jelly
Arby’s Bronco Berry Sauce
Dump entire bottle of chili sauce into a pot. Add half of the jar of grape jelly (4 ounces) and equal amount of Arby’s Bronco Berry Saunce. Heat and stir until everything cooks down into a yummy looking sauce. Add meatballs. Simmer. Serve.

So, now you vote!  Who deserves to win the 13 lucky packets of sweet jalapeño goodness?

You have a week to vote, then I’ll ship the goodies to the winner after they’re notified.  You vote according to the rules of the poll, so I believe you can vote often.  Get your friends & family to vote for you, and may the best recipe win!

If you haven’t been following the adventures of Bronco Jalapeño, you may want to catch up: