I don’t drink a whole lot of pop, or I try not to anyway. Friday, I ordered some Penn Station via their website. While hangry & waiting for the pickup, I externalized my internal dialogue via Threads, and boy did people get wound up. People were dropping facts about Pepsi being cheaper, calling out corporations for being complicit in everything from wars and genocide, referencing Pepsi Challenge taste tests, calling me silly for caring, agreeing, disagreeing, and just… generally all over the place.
It started with some warning post cards & emails. Dollar Shave Club was phasing out the three bladed razors in favor of the 4… and switching my plan without asking. Well, mine, and all the other subscribers out there. Why?
Assuming a lot of their membership is male. Stereotypically, men are resistant to change. Why fix what’s not broken?
In the grand scheme of life, this is most certainly just a small annoyance… but an annoyance nonetheless. My typical email writing shenanigans has not provided any “real” answers other than some 🐂💩 about having done research that indicates people like the new blades.
The 4-blade razors feel like tiny demons ripping the hair out of your face one-by-one. I don’t know how a razor company messes up razors, but here we are. I can’t be the only one.
I feel like they had to stop making them for some reason. Costs? Manufacturing facility change? Why change a good thing? I thought they called them The Executive but now they’re calling them “Heritage.”
I sent them this maze via email, Twitter,Facebook, & Instagram, and that have not acknowledged it at all. 🤣
It’s not easy keeping up with these perpetually-out-of-style sideburns & my regal salt & pepper goatee.
The responses have been pretty banal. This was my original email:
Hello Friends,
I think you messed up… but it’s OK. I’m here for you in your time of need. I can help clear your mind so you can make better decisions.
I cannot find any fathomable reason that you needed to switch from the heritage series razors to the club series. The old 3-bladed razors were awesome. These new 4-blade razors are, to put it bluntly (pun intended), absolute shit. After one use with the new 4-bladed razors, it feels like someone is ripping the hairs out of my face.
Honestly, I never paid much attention to what the old ones were called. Was it The Executive? I don’t know. I don’t care. It shaved my face, well, and I did not like any of the other options.
Did you test it on people with alopecia or animals that could not provide feedback? Were you not alive during the New Coke debacle? People don’t like change. Men stereotypically do not like change. I get anxiety when my wife rearranges the furniture.
You can imagine my displeasure with being forced to use a new razor, and my irritation (pun, again, woefully intended) at the use of it. I have seen many other unsatisfied people on Twitter. They all can’t be wrong.
My gift to you is this maze. You can use it as you contemplate the best way to bring back the old blade. Labyrinths have traditionally helped people meditate. Surely it can help you come to a good decision and a concise quick plan to get out of this shenanigans.
I may be forced to try Harry’s, but I like your Shave Butter and I don’t think they have anything comparable. How can I control my goofy lambchop-exsque sideburns and more-salt-than-pepper van dyke/goatee thing without a razor I can trust? It is hard to maintain my perpetually out of style facial hair. (Do you see an anti-change theme here?)
Thank you for your time. I look forward to your thoughts on the whole thing… or at least an explanation of the thinking behind the change.
My face feels like Anakin when Obi Wan got the high ground.
Pleading for sanity,
-Eric.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI
This was their blah reply…
Hey Eric,
Thanks for bringing this to our attention. Apologies for the late response. This certainly isn’t the experience we would have hoped for and the quality of our products is a top priority for us, so we appreciate you bringing this to our attention. We apologize for the trouble. I’ll be sure to forward your feedback to the right department for a review. Your experience is extremely valuable to us. We also understand that change can be difficult but we decided to make and sell our own Club Series razor.
Of course, if you’d prefer to cancel your account immediately, we understand as well. Just let us know what you decide and we can get that taken care of right away.
Thanks,
Jane
Then, this…
Thanks Jane,
Did you or any of your team at least try the maze while you thought it over?
This is an insane level of shenanigans. I thought it would help you reach the right decision to keep making the old style blades until the sun explodes & swallows the earth… or at least until I die.
I would cancel, but your shave butter is super awesome. I am stuck between a proverbial rock and a hard place, but the rock is traditional shaving cream or gel, and the hard place is your 4-blade razors that feel like they are tugging the follicles out of my face.
Dejected,
Bushy in Bridgeville
This was it. Again. Is “Jane” AI?
Hey Eric,
Thanks for getting back to us. We are currently working on this issue. Can you please confirm if you want me to cancel your account immediately? As checked, you have an item with your recurring box that will be billed this coming April 21st.
Looking forward to your response so we can have this taken care of.
Thanks,
Jane
I guess this is where it ends, my friends.
Hello Jane,
I guess I would like you to cancel my subscription. I feel like you’re “sus” (as my kids would say) AI, and you’re not giving real reasons why the blades were changed, or even acknowledging my hilarious maze.
I think I may go with Amazon. Harry’s doesn’t appear to have that shave butter goodness… and Amazon has a plethora of options. I get TV, music, and everything else from Amazon anyway. I, for one, welcome our capitalist digital overlords. Maybe they have a sense of humor? I can draw them a maze and see if they appreciate it.
It’s never too late to re-think your bad decisions. Please share the maze with your friends & co-workers.
-Eric.
seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI
I would move to Harry’s, but they seem to not have anything comparable to DSC’s Shave Butter. I am a convert. No more cream or gel for me. I need to try this dastardly 6-bladed razor. Perhaps an Amazon subscription service will do me well?
They didn’t respond via Facebook messenger, a DM on Twitter seemed very AI, and Instagram’s DM was not entertaining in the least.
I’m not the only one who thought so either. Twitter is LIT UP about it.
Still can't figure out why @DollarShaveClub wpuld discontinue a blade that I (& most likely countless others) have been using & enjoying for many years.
The new default replacement is terrible, required several passes, & still didn't get a close shave.
@DollarShaveClub so got my package about a week ago and it wasn't correct u gave me this shit ravors and and wasn't what my normal order is. These blades and this razor is trash compared to the elite. Can't seem to contact through ur site. pic.twitter.com/BSKzbTBXng
@DollarShaveClub I’ve received nothing as a request from you. Please we are going to break up taylor swift style (I’m going to write a song) if you don’t send me a ton of your old razors. The 37 other people I have hooked you up with over the years, also super unhappy. #dobetter
After over 10 years of Member feedback about what makes a great shave, we decided to make and sell our Club Series razor everywhere and anywhere Dollar Shave Club razors are sold. So no matter where you shop, you will find this razor in stores and online.
So, @DollarShaveClub… did anyone try these new blades? I had to make 3 passes. My last ones were perfect. Why the change? Do I need to switch to @harrys or go back to buying in store? This is 🐎💩.
That's unfortunate, after 3 weeks of issues with the Club series I've had to cancel my subscription. If it was a cost decision I would have gladly paid more for the quality and experience of the Heritage Series instead of losing the line entirely.
That's unfortunate, after 3 weeks of issues with the Club series I've had to cancel my subscription. If it was a cost decision I would have gladly paid more for the quality and experience of the Heritage Series instead of losing the line entirely.
@DollarShaveClub your new razors are worse than the ones I shaved my legs with in 1989 they were .25 and my moms the old razors you had were amazing I’m seriously bleeding from the new ones. #trash#cancelingmembership
I got my 6 month @DollarShaveClub order of creams, gels & blades. They changed the blades to some thin POS. Absolutely disappointing. After 4 years I’m going to find a new brand. I shave my head & face daily and this new blade takes 2x longer now… ThX @Unilever for acquiring DSC
@DollarShaveClub Ugh. My Heritage series handle broke and I still have some blades left. I ordered what I thought were the right handles and see now that you've made changes. How can I get a Heritage series handle? #frustrating
— UniverseOfSciFi 🌊💙 I Dissent (@UOFSciFi) March 27, 2023
@DollarShaveClub I scrolled through Twitter to see what everyone else has said..I'm adding to the mix in hopes you'll go back to the older razors. The new razors suck. When you bring back a membership for the older razors, I'll return as a customer, until then, see ya.
@DollarShaveClub why did I start getting new blades and handle that I did not order? I thought it was a trial but then I got more. I tried the new product and the handle broke after 2 weeks. Refund my money for this junk you automatically sent me and continue my other razors
@DollarShaveClub the new blades are HORRIBLE and when I attempt to log in and cancel, you’ve purposefully made it impossible to do to. Terrible terrible customer service.
OK bearded & mustachioed folks, I need a razor rec. The new razors from @DollarShaveClub are not as precise as the previous model, and the new trimming blade is subpar.
Not sure why but @DollarShaveClub cancelled the best razor ever and are now shipping cheap junk in 4 and 6 blade versions that don’t cut evenly and fall apart- plus they feel too lightweight and plasticky. pic.twitter.com/VgrCzv8zZ5
Back in the day, I used to go to websites, message boards, chat rooms, or forums, & blogs. Now it’s mostly Facebook groups.
I’m a simple man. When not enjoying real-life things like family time, noodling poorly on the guitar, drawing mazes, or watching some funny or sci-fi-ish stuff on the TV, I enjoy reading things on the internet. This would include subjects like guitars, gear, guitars, music, Star Wars, guitars, guitars, and surprisingly enough …Guitars.
Picking up a theme? I’m in some guitar groups of varying purpose, from celebrating the instrument in general, to celebrating ugly ones, celebrating cheap ones, celebrating unique ones, alternating between building camaraderie or trolling between fellow guitarists, and making fun off bass players & drummers. I may have G.A.S. – It’s gotta be a real thing.
After a while, you start to notice a repetitive pattern of seemingly-canned responses.
At first, I thought of a drinking game. But, I’m too old for that, and I’m currently on antibiotics. Ha ha.
It may seem light a slight, but it’s not. I’m in there. I have said the thigs. I have typed the things. I have read the things. I have heard the things. We all have a common interest. This is a celebration of you, & us. 🍻
How quickly could you get a line, or even fill up the card?
What responses have I missed?
Please, elaborate in the comments.
GUITAR BINGO!
What would go on your Bingo card or cause you to take a drink?
What do I need to add to my pin boards?
I would love to hear what you have to add.
What are your favorite places to discuss and ogle guitars on Facebook or online in general? You can even share some of your favorite guitar photos or memes in the comments.
You may want to take a look at the Guitars & My Guitars categories here at the blog.
I have been posting them to Instagram, just not here much. I have a few I have drawn but haven’t shared. I may share them here. Is anyone interested in them? Should I save them for a publisher or Etsy shop? I need to get with CI3 and make some mugs!
You know you wanna print one and try it, or use an app on your phone/tablet to draw right on it. Then you wanna tag me in social media with the solution or leave it here in the comments.
I never emailed these names. Seriously. Someone must have sent Jon the text of my blog, or a link to my blog. My original email contained the names which I then changed to something I thought would be ridiculous and obvious, so I didn’t accidentally call out another real employee.
Am I being trolled?
On Thursday, November 19, 2015 8:54 PM, “0503, BER” <Unit_503@bobevans.com> wrote:
Hello,
I am following up on a bad review that we had charge to our store. I was hoping to get some more information, as we believed our location received this review in error. We don’t have servers by either name mentioned in the review (Maleficient and Lincoln), and would like to find out which store you were actually at. Then we can send this along to them, so that they can address these issues. Thank you for your time.
Jon Herrmann
General Manager
Bob Evans #503
Bridgeville, PA
(412) 257-1369
Shenanigans. ☘
I wrote back. Nothing interesting besides pointing out that I never sent those names in an email.
I also got an email from LeAnn confirming our Dormont address, so I passed along the new one. I wonder if I’ll get a T-shirt?
If it’s gift certificates, does anyone know of a charity that accepts them or of a family in need?
Maybe they’re sending someone to dispatch of me. Maybe I should ask King’s to weigh in?
So, did you read about our most recent experience with a waitress we’ll call Maleficent at the local Bob Evans? If not, you may want to read that first.
I recently got the expected response from Bob Evans, and it’s nowhere near as enthusiastic as last time. They are probably more displeased with my over-the-top approach to storytelling than the actions of Maleficent.
——– Original message ——–
From: “Barga, Leann D.”
Date: 11/11/2015 9:23 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: me@my.email.address
Subject: Bob Evans – Reference # 1106568
Good Morning Eric,
I am so sorry to hear that you recently had a poor experience at our Bridgeville location. The behavior demonstrated by one of our servers was unacceptable, and for that we truly apologize. We expect all of our employees to treat our guests like family, and want our guests to be completely satisfied – it is clear that we let you down with your initial server during this visit.
On the other hand, I am happy to hear that Lincoln ‘saved the day’ and made the rest of your time with us an enjoyable one.
I will be sharing your comments with the general manager and area coach of this location so any necessary action can be taken to ensure that all of our servers are meeting our and our guests expectations.
It seems that Leanne is still rocking it with Bob Evans, now with a new name. I hope she is doing well!
Not sure what this means (if anything) for Maleficent and Lincoln. Will anything actually be said? Will general management or area coaches write back to me directly? Will I get a dirty look from Maleficent next time we’re there? Hopefully Lincoln is on the clock.
World (and Lunar) Domination 