Teriyaki Stuff [November 19, 2023] Why I want this sauce.
La Choy Teriyaki Terror [December 8, 2023] · I sent a maze to La Choy (Conagra) to literally illustrate my fristration at not being able to find their sauce.
TeePublic is having a sale, and they encouraged me to spread the word. I did on various social media platforms, and Ill post those here. I’d appreciate a share if you have the time or are so inclined, and it would be cool if you’re inspired to pick something up for yourself or as a gift!
There’s also always my RedBubble shop and Maze Book, too. (I’m still slowly working on a 2nd book.)
Apologies for the shameless pug, but I have to get the word out somehow. I don’t pay for advertising, as the artist profit for print-on-demand services is pretty small. If I can simply fund my creative outlets, it’s a nice lil’ personal win.
So, TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my art on all kinds of stuff for cheaper than usual. It's mostly mazes, but I may occasionally do other silly stuff.tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13Check out some unique stuff for yourself or for your holiday gift list! Maybe share too, please?
So, recently I was hungry for stuffed cabbage. I had never made it before, so after Googling a few recipes and soliciting advice from a Facebook food group and Nextdoor, I came up with my own. You can put this URL into Just The Recipe or do the Cooked Wiki “hack” to skip all my bullshit up here.
I’m not a huge fan of rice in meatballs like you typically see with stuffed peppers or stuffed cabbage, so I was googling recipes without it and kept finding stuffed tagged as “keto,” or with other grains substituted in. I think it’s a texture thing for me, so I opted to go my own route. Also, get out of here with your sweet/hot sausage, I’ll add my own spices. Keep your veal/beef/pork mixes. Maybe ground turkey would be cool. Keep the lamb away.
It seems that many are tied to their family’s traditional way of making it, and that’s pretty cool. I always thought of it as an Eastern European type dish, but lots of cultures have their own spin & own words for it according to Wikipedia. The thought of omitting rice, or using condensed tomato soup instead of a tomato sauce or V8 sent some people into a tizzy. I even learned that lots of people include sauerkraut, and some people like it served with sour cream. Some people make it like a casserole. We always had the tomato soup version growing up, so that’s what I like/expected. Who knew? I’ll probably make it different next time… but both kids & the wife liked it, so I won’t experiment too much.
I used glass baking dishes covered with foil, but got advice that a roasting pan, an electric roaster, the crock pot, a Dutch oven, a soup pot on the stove, or a pressure cooker all work well, too.
Although, I would like to wrap a piece of bacon around the rolls and throw them on the smoker…
At any rate, check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.
Also – What do you call them?
Here’s what I did. 🤷
Get It:
1 head of cabbage.
4-ish lbs. of ground beef. (I used 3 lbs of 8/20 & 1 lb. of 90/10)
2 eggs
½ Yellow Bell Pepper
½ Spanish Onion
1 cup shredded carrots (I bought a bag and I’ll use it for other stuff too.)
1 beef bullion cube
1 stick of butter
3 23.2 oz. cans condensed Tomato Soup
Bread crumbs (Do I look like I measure stuff? Probably a cup and a half?)
Shredded Parmesan Cheese (in the ‘lil fancy container by the expensive cheese)
Minced Garlic (just have the jar ready I’m lazy and don’t crush/mince my own)
Spices. I used salt, black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Season All, & Table Blend. (I just throw it on at every step indiscriminately with complete abandon and total anarchy.)
Do it:
Preheat Your oven to 400°.
Get a stock pot, fill it enough to cover your cabbage. Drop in the bullion cube, and salt, minced garlic, and whatever seasoning your heart desires, and crank it to high with the lid on.
Chop your onion in half. Toss half in the boiling water, but take the lid off first & then put it back on.
Mince the rest of the onion.
Cut up the yellow pepper. Feed half to your kids, the dog, or your significant other. Or just eat it. That’s the perk of being the cook. Mince the other half.
Pull out a handful of the minced carrots, a big knife, and what them up until they are tiny pieces of shredded carrots. Our dog loves carrots, so I sprinkled some on her food bowl.
I greased 3 glass baking dishes with the stick of butter. I used a 9″x13″, an 8″x9″, & a 9″x9″ because that’s what I had. I swear we broke like 3 glass dishes last summer.
Melt what can surely be described as an obscene amount of butter in a skillet and sauté the onion, then the pepper & carrots on medium heat. I was sure to hit them with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, & pepper. I like to cook onions slow & low.
Drop the head of cabbage in your now boiling water while you’re doing all that. Yes, remove but do not replace the lid.
Put the sautéed veggies aside and let them cool a bit while you get the meat mixture ready.
Set up a colander or strainer over a large bowl, & get your tongs ready.
Beat your eggs, & add spices.
Mix the meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, some cheese, sautéed veggies, some minced garlic, and lots of spices. I do it by hand. I wash my hands very well before & after, so you probably should too. But hey, you do you.
By this time, hopefully your cabbage has been boiling 10-ish minutes. Use tongs to gently peel one leaf at a time and place it lovingly in your colander. Don’t go too quick with it and splash/burn yourself, because I would definitely never ever do that.
Open the cans of tomato soup and cover the bottom of your baking dishes.
Get the leaf, cut out the bottom tough part of the leaf rib if so inclined, slap in your meat mixture, and wrap it like a burrito – folding in the ends part way through. I didn’t measure, I eyeballed the meat to leaf ratio.
Fill the baking dish(es), pour on & season the rest of the condensed tomato soup, sprinkle on some more parmesan cheese, cover in foil, and bake for an hour.
Tips/Lessons Learned/Parting Thoughts:
I was going to bake it at 375° and I probably should have, taking the foil off for the last 15 min. They were well over the recommended 160° internal temp for ground beef. Maybe some browning/caramelizing would not be a bad thing?
I saw a lot of tips for freezing the cabbage instead of boiling it, but I also read just as many responses saying that it can drastically affect the texture and not in a good way.
I may put in back next time. Maybe inside? Maybe wrapped outside?
Hear me out… Reuben cabbage rolls. Corned beef? Sauerkraut? Thousand Island or Russian dressing? Rye breadcrumbs? (We make non-traditional stuffed peppers sometimes, too.)
If you like rice, by all means include it. Or barley, or any other grain. I considered those tiny lil’ pasta balls… but maybe I just like to say Acini de Pepe way too much. Some people recommended cauliflower rice, also.
Are you still reading? Check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.
I have been in the mood for stuffed cabbage, and I finally had the time to make it. I've never made it before, but I think it turned out good! Both kids said they'd eat it again. My 9yo food critic son said it was a 10/10.#stuffedcabbage#cabbagerollspic.twitter.com/o4AXtqXXsI
So, yesterday I made spaghetti with homemade meatballs. Today, I wanted a meatball sub. I was thinking I still had some good buns from New Year’s day. They were not good. I had already melted the butter. The store-brand white bread was calling to me. A sandwich? No, a club.., Something worthy of shenanigans.
Behold: The Meatball ClubLook at that toasty goodness.Open up & say “Mmm!”If you don’t cut it diagonally, you’re doing it wrong.
It seemed to be a hit on various social media platforms, so I thought I’d share the love. If you make one, please, post the photo, tag me (@AiXelsyD13 on just about everything), and let me know how it was!
The Meatballs:
I have shared my meatball ingredient secrets a quadruple of times:
I generally don’t measure, and make them different every time. This time I fried them on medium-high in a large pan on the stove & a tiny bit of EVOO.
The Sauce:
OK, gonna level with you. I am not Italian. This is going to make some people mad. I use jarred sauce. This was the cheap Aldi stuff. Usually we get that or the Prego Three Cheese. I add brown sugar & Parmesan/Romano shake cheese. Sometimes, I even add shopped garlic, onion powder, or “Italian Seasoning.” This time it was just brown sugar and cheese. I don’t measure. I toss a little in with abandon. I like the sweetness & it cuts the acid.
The Club:
Get your stuff…
¼ stick butter
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Parsley or (Italian Seasoning)
6 or so leftover meatballs.
Shredded cheese (I had Gruyere & Swiss, but I would probably go for Mozzarella or Provolone, but the stuff I had was fantastic.)
“Shake Cheese” I had the cheap Giant Eagle brand Parmesan/Romano blend.
Three pieces of white bread.
Do it…
Pre-heat the oven to 390° on the air fryer setting.
Melt the butter w/ garlic powder, onion powder, & parsley to taste in a microwave save bowl in 30 second intervals, stirring in between until it’s a liquid.
Put the bread on a baking dish, brush on the melted butter after a good stir. (I just did the top sides.)
Air fry for 2 minutes, & it gets almost crispy on top, the bottom was nice and toasted.
While you’re doing that nuke the meatballs & sauce on a microwave safe plate for 2 min. (or longer if needed.)
Pull the toast out. (I cut the meatballs in half with a spoon then scooped them and the sauce on to two of the slices of bread.)
Top the meatballs with the shredded cheese.
Put the “shake cheese” on the 3rd slice of bread.
Put it back in on air fry for for 4 or 5 minutes.
Pull it out, assemble it like a tower of gluttony, then slice it diagonally with a giant serrated bread knife for dramatic effect.
Take a photo to share & make people hungry.
That’s it. It took a little bit of time & prep, but it was worth it.
Notes:
If you cook & have your own meatball or sauce recipe, of course do that.
Use whatever kind of cheese you want, shredded, or sliced, or whatever.
I would guess you can use the oven on 375°-ish on a regular setting for a bit longer times, or a counter top air fryer.
You could also probably do all of it in the air fryer from cooking the meatballs to melting the butter if you have the appropriate vessels.
If you slice it in rectangles and not triangles, you are a psychopath.
Discussion:
If you’re out of sausage or sub buns, or hot dog buns, what are you using? Pita? Tortilla? Soft Pretzel? Dinner Rolls? Bisquick? Crescent roll dough?
Please, tell me in the comments how wrong it is to use jarred sauce or add brown sugar.
Share with me your meatball secrets.
Do you like the powdery shake cheese or the fancy stuff?
Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.
From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ] To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.
Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.
We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.
Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.
Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.
From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com] Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM To: [me] Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.
From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.
If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.
From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.
Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.
We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.
From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade To: [me]
Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.
Melissa (Fresh Thyme)
Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST
Dear Eric,
Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.
I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.
Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer! Melissa Fresh Thyme Customer Care
Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.
You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.
I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.
I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.
I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.
Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.
The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?
I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.
Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.
I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.
I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.
I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!
Your Hangry Fan, -Eric aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com
Help me on my quest!
I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).
I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.
What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?
I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:
So, @ConagraBrands… how can you (in good conscience) call both of these #Teriyaki sacue with the only tiny disction on the label being one is a marinade & one is for stir fry… while one tastes like kissing an angel & the other like licking a demon's butthole? #LaChoypic.twitter.com/NvNohQ750J
Not sure how it’s spam, when two of the three messages don’t even contain links. 🤷🤣 I was sharing free mazes for Thanksgiving.
Someone has to be reporting them as spam, as there’s no way that was kicked up by bots. Is it that hard to keep on scrolling?
How else do I get the damn word out? I did ask ChatGPT. Apparently sharing free stuff backfired. 😆 (I also got suspended for 50 days from Reddit r/mazes for sharing links to my maze books or merch. If that’s not my target audience, then who the hell is?)
Really here, your dude is just trying to make an extra dime on a creative outlet.
Help me out if you’re so inclined and share a link to my stuff if you have no fear of the Karenators!
I done been flagged!I didn’t violate this.Oh well, the ladies on there that love my cooking and recipe posts will be sad..
I guess I will have to stick to Nextdoor for its intended purpose: Soliciting child labor for professional services at pennies on the dollar, and asking what that loud noise was.
I absolutely love the flavors in Asian food, but because of my shellfish allergy, I rarely dine at those types of restaurants because of ingredients like oyster sauce or brine shrimp as seasoning and cross contamination. I even had friends that once ordered “vegetarian” egg rolls that contained crab meat. I think it was a perfect storm of a language issue and a culture issue.
I posted this photo of a dish we make often on social media, and was asked for the recipe. I figured I would share it here too! It’s more of a method maybe than an exact recipe. My wife usually makes it with chicken instead of beef and without the chick peas.
2 or 3 cuts of whatever steak looks good / is on sale.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil – Maybe sesame oil would make it more “authentic?”
Salt, pepper, spices like onion powder, garlic powder, & season all.
Made 4 cups of instant rice according to the box, instead of salt in the water I used 1 teaspoon of beef bullion, set aside.
Sear the steaks on high on a flat pan that can go into the oven – coat w/ EVOO, salt & pepper… about 2 minutes a side.
Place a pat of butter on each steak, place in oven at 400° for about 10 minutes.
Cook the chick peas in a bit of EVOO, maybe medium-high heat. You need to keep an eye on them as they can “pop.”
Add the Teriyaki sauce to the pan and let it cook, maybe take it down to medium. I keep stirring & scraping the bottom of the pan.
Get the water boiling for under a steamer basket. I usually add onion powder and garlic powder.
Take out the steaks and let them rest on a cutting board.
Steam the vegetables above the boiling water once it starts to go… I usually wait for them to turn a bright color then turn it off as I like them still to be a bit crunchy. Carrots on bottom, broccoli in the middle, peppers on top seems to make the cook the most evenly.
Cut the steaks into strips, I try to go on an angle so they’re nice & tender.
Add the steak to the chick peas & Teriyaki… don’t overcook the steak. It should still be a little pink in the middle when you add it.
Fluff the rice.
I use garlic powder, onion powder, season all, Mrs. Dash, salt, & pepper throughout on everything.
Plate the rice, veggies, beef/chickpeas/sauce and enjoy!
It all sounds much more complicated than it is. You can cook he steaks on a countertop grill or cut them into strips & cook in the pan… but I tend to overcook them that way. You could, of course, also use the marinade as an actual marinade.
You could just boil the veggies too, but I feel like that takes out all the flavor and turns them to mush. Roasting them in the oven may be delicious too, but would take a bit longer… this would be good for the chickpeas too.
I’d be interested to see what other people think if you try it out. I’d like if you shared your meals like this in the comments, so I have more stuff to try.
I am stuck on this type of La Choy Teriyaki sauce & marinade. The flavor is perfect. The “stir fry sauce” has sesame seeds in it, & I’m not a fan of the texture and hate to tempt fate with diverticulitis issues. The other ones are just OK. What’s your favorite type? Have you ever made your own?
According to Wikipedia, it seems like Teriyaki is similar to Barbecue as it seems to refer to a style of cooking as well as the sauce. Maybe I am wildly misusing the term? I just like the sauce. A lot.
It has been increasingly difficult to find. I have tweeted(𝕏eeted?) Conagra and I think they are stalling. I’m going to have to have a maze-fueled letter & email wiring campaign. I was told the sauce was discontinued by a local distributor to Giant Eagle in 2009, but have definitely found it since then. The current La Choy website doesn’t list it as a product, but the Internet Wayback Machine has it.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how they or I could have handled the situation better.
I don’t feel they owe me anything at this point.
Where should we go to buy a couch? Are any furniture stores better than the others?
My requirements are:
It must be delivered, I don’t want to pick it up or assemble anything.
I want to see it & sit in it first. (Our current couch was bought online, sight-unseen, and is a dud.)
The store has to be able to actually hit promised delivery dates.
I’m stuck on a nice HIGH back after seeing a few.
🪑
Here’s the latest from Levin:
🪑
Eric,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I apologize that we failed to get your correct chair delivered to you during this time. I am the person that called your wife about the Facebook post. I wanted to reach out to you to apologize and see what I could do to help the situation. When we fail to meet our customers’ expectations, we want to make it right.
I know you said you weren’t sure what we could do at this point, but I feel we need to take ownership of our mistake and acknowledge your feelings. On behave of Levin Furniture I apologize for the mistake and the inconvenience this caused you during your recovery. That is a true heart felt apology, I treat customers the way I would want to be treated. I think sometimes we get desensitized and need to be reminded that people have other things going on in their lives and just owning our mistakes and saying I am sorry can make a difference.
I know you said you do not want to shop with a us. But if you would like to give us another chance in the future, please let me know and I will see we take care of you. If there is anything I can assist you with, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manager
🪑
Should I write/call back?
Actual footage from a staff meeting about my recliner.
Well, I was done with Levin. Then they emailed a customer satisfaction survey. That triggered me again. Here’s what I sent back. Then I dug up as many corporate names as I could, and their email syntax. I know some landed, because about three minutes after I hit send they were calling my wife.
Here’s what I said:
💻
Hello Friends,
I recently had what we’ll call a horrendous experience with Levin Furniture. I had vented about it online, and moved on. Until my wife forwarded me the customer satisfaction survey. That took some immense lack of self-awareness on your part, so I am hoping with this missive to make you a bit more aware. The following is what I typed up & sent along with the 3 1-star answers to the survey. I thought I would look up some email addresses and get it in front of as many eyes as I could. I will also copy the salesman that my wife dealt with who never replied to her email inquiring about delivery.
Already sent was the following:
On Saturday September 9th, my wife & son went to Levin and a few other furniture stores to purchase a powered recliner for me, to help with post colo-rectal surgery recovery.
Looking online at our options and various price ranges, I knew I wanted a chair that had a cup holder, phone charger, and storage pockets… as I was not sure how mobile I would be post-op, and was quite frankly uncomfortable going into surgery.
I would have gone to view them myself, but that happened to be in-between my second and third ER trips & hospital admissions in 4 weeks stemming from a burst pocket of diverticulitis and a nasty ensuing abscess and infection. I was in poor health, and in no mood to deal with furniture sales tactics. I can even provide photos of the CT scans and the drain sticking out of my right but cheek if you like to be grossed out.
My wife ordered an Ashley Model Next-Gen DuraPella Power Recliner SKU # 2200413, mainly because Levin promised to deliver before La-Z-Boy & Value City could on very similarly optioned & priced items. Remember that “before” qualifier as you digest (pun intended) the following paragraphs.
In hindsight, it was a largely false promise on the part of Levin, one that if I were a pessimist would assume is a regular practice on the part of your sales team.
The chair was promised to be delivered by Sept. 19th. That Tuesday came & my wife logged in to the website to see the delivery was now scheduled for Thursday Sept. 21st, and we had no communication on that change from Levin.
On Thursday, my wife called the delivery number, then the store to ask about the chair’s whereabouts. She talked to an Anna who said the original salesperson, Jared Chambers, was “new” and “didn’t know he had to schedule the delivery.”
My wife also emailed jchambers@levinfurniture.com on Sept. 21st to inquire about the delivery, but as of yet has not received a reply. We can forward that unanswered email if needed.
Despite this excuse smelling of total and absolute bovine feces, Anna told my wife that they could “squeeze us in” that Saturday the 23rd for delivery. Were we the first order where this was discovered? If not, why wasn’t it rectified sooner? Does Levin train all new employees this poorly? You don’t really have to answer that last one. It was rhetorical.
Saturday the 23rd came and two nice men delivered a recliner to us. Once they brought it in & put it together, I noticed that it does not have the cup holder, phone charger, or storage pockets. It happened to be an Ashley Model 5930213 Power Recliner @ $1349.99, completely not what we ordered. It was not the same model, SKU #, or price.
The guys sent photos to their boss, their boss contacted Levins, & Anna called my wife.
We tipped the guys $20 and they took the nice new recliner away.
In that conversation with my wife, Anna then blamed an incorrect tag or sku # being on the display model in the showroom. She also used the phrasing that it was “no one’s fault.” This incensed me, as it obviously was the fault of Levin employees on multiple levels. Who tagged the chair with the wrong tag? Who double-checks their work? The salesman did not confirm that what he was ordering matched the floor model? This is not “no one’s fault,” this is a tragic comedy of careless errors.
My wife asked Anna at that time if we could purchase the floor model, as time was of the essence. Anna said she would call back.
We went to Big Lots! in Washington PA that evening to look at couches. Yes, we need a couch, and Levin is off the table for what I believe to be quite obvious reasons.
Anna had still not called my wife as of around 6:00 PM, so my wife called her. Anna said we could have the floor model if we came and got it. Now, I am in poor health with restrictions on lifting, my kids are young, we have a vehicle classed as a station wagon, and my wife is a strong woman, but I would not ask her to move a recliner herself.
You would think the salesman and or store manager eager to make good on a sale, would have delivered the damn thing in a pickup or something.
Customer service is dead.
No concessions on price were offered from Anna. My wife asked for some form of compensation for our aggravation, and at first the only offer was to refund the original delivery fee… for the WRONG CHAIR. Crazy us to assume it would be a given to not pay for that. I believe we got half off of the 2nd delivery, and were refunded the difference between the original incorrect, more expensive chair, and the correct less expensive one.
If your profit margins are so small that you cannot automatically offer a few hundred dollars off on this purchase or even on a future purchase, you perhaps need to rethink your entire business model.
The correct recliner was finally delivered on Tuesday Oct. 3rd. This was a full two weeks after it was promised, after the dates when we could have received a recliner from your esteemed competitors, and 3 days after I was released from the hospital.after surgery.
Did I mention that we set our old chair out for the trash the Thursday night prior to the initial incorrect Saturday delivery?
I would like to ask you to imagine having a foot-long section of your colon and rectum removed, your remaining section of colon & rectum stapled together, a wound vac hanging on your side connected to a tube from an incision above your belly button, and a bulbous drain hanging out of your side right at your waistline.
That makes sitting anywhere uncomfortable. Imagine, if you would, a nice stressless recliner to ease the situation… because I can’t.
Some other person did leave a voicemail for my wife after I left a frustration-venting rant & a comment or two on Facebook, but that was the night of my colon-cleanse. If you’ll forgive the mental image, we already had enough crap to put up with.
Honestly though, for that attention-grabbing shenanigans to be the ONLY thing that triggered some sort of response, you were well past the too little/too late threshold.
Your people skills are abhorrent at the sales and service levels, and your corporate level customer service is merely reactionary to online “bad press” only to save face, not serve actual customer satisfaction & retention.
I actually applaud your testicular fortitude in reaching out with a customer satisfaction survey. It either takes massive ignorance or massive swagger. And you already know where I believe you fall on the scale.
I now intend to send this to every level of your corporation that has eyes. May the best of them find work elsewhere, and may the worst of them stay to drive you further into the ground than the last time you were there.
Thank you for your time, and may whatever deity you ascribe to have mercy on your soul,
I neglected to note we tipped the 2nd set of delivery guys $20 too. But, if they don’t even pretend to care about the customers, they certainly don’t care about the employees, right? While we’re on the subject… was that appropriate, or cheap? I try to check in on these things occasionally.
After Kelly Maytas at Levin left my wife a Voicemail, I got this email…
💻
Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to us and letting us know about your experience. We aim to deliver a great experience and are disheartened when we don’t. We will use your feedback to make us better.
I apologize for the inconvenience and the stress this has caused you. I personally would like to speak to you about your experience and respectfully apologize and take ownership of our failure to deliver a great experience. I know you need to rest, but at your convenience can you please give me a call at 330-###-####.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manage
💻
I took the time to send this back…
💻
Thank You Ms. Maytas,
Not sure if you got just the survey response, or the email that I tried to send to a handful of people after researching names and email syntax online.
I am really not sure what you can do at this point for us.
I suggest you get your Robinson store in order… from tagging furniture properly, to sales reps understanding the product, your procedures, or setting up deliveries in a timely manner, and customer service reps that understand what apologizing really is. Only then can you maybe knock it out of the park for future customers.
We are in desperate need of a new couch, but not that desperate. I feel like your team has not only burned but nuked the proverbial bridge, and I concede that I worked on that from my side of things also. I am not a fan of phone calls, I prefer the written word. I also prefer retailers that automatically offer discounts on current or future sales without having to be asked. Again, we’re past that.
Unless you’d like to suggest a competitor that will actually deliver a quality product on time?
Good luck to you in righting the ship at Levins, as your tenacity in reaching out speaks to the fact that you will stay the course! I wish that we could have dealt with you on the store level instead of when it reached a wild level of ridiculousness (again, the online shenanigans are all on me – but it shouldn’t have taken that to garner attention).
I appreciate your time in reaching out! I like you, unlike your seemingly dimwitted and soul-crushed coworkers. Perhaps they need a pizza party or two for morale?
World (and Lunar) Domination 