Tag Archives: Pizza

Italian …Subwich? Submursible?

Posted on by Standard Reply

This is becoming a trend. I want to make a sandwich and don’t have the appropriate bread or bun. Thankfully, this lack of planning for a meatball sub brought forth the almighty Meatball Club (the Meatball Melt isn’t bad either). This was not a bad alternative, if I do say so myself.

Did you get yourself a The Meatball Club T-shirt yet? Maybe I should trademark that.

I made some of my grilled chicken noodle soup that we had with a salad for dinner last night. I had some leftovers for lunch today and wanted a lil’ sandwich to go with it. Not much beats a local mom n’ pop pizza shop Italian Sub. I had some almost sort of close enough ingredients in the house, so I crafted my own.

In my humble opinion, the key to a great local sub shop Italian Sub is the toasting. The second key is to call it a sub and not a hoagie, grinder, hero or whatever other word yinz have for it. Maybe this would be less a Subwich and more a Submersible?

I didn’t have a sub roll, but I did have the super cheap hamburger buns. That worked, because it was lunch time and I didn’t need a foot long sandwich anyway.

A grilled Italian Sub sandwich made on a toasted burger bun, sitting atop a white plate, featuring melted cheese and ridiculous meats.
The Italian …Subwich?

Here’s what I did…

I preheated the oven to 400ยฐ and gathered all my stuff.

I melted some butter & EVOO with garlic powder, onion powder, & Italian seasoning in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl.

I spread the butter on the insides of the bun, sprinkled on a tiny bit of shake cheese, and toasted it inside up in the oven for 5 minutes on a sheet pan.

I took it out and poured some Sweet Italian Dressing on the inside of both buns.

I stacked the cold cuts, cheese, & veggies like this from the bottom up on the bottom bun: Turkey, hard salami, provolone cheese, ham, hard salami, jarred roasted red peppers, sliced black olives, shredded Parmesan from a tub,

I put a slice of provolone on the inside of the top bun.

I put it back in the oven for 6 minutes.

I took it out & assembled the sandwich.

I brushed a little more melted butter/spices on the top, and put it back in… this time on convection at 350ยฐ for two minutes because why not?

I bought it out and it definitely gave me mom n’ pop pizza shop vibes. Those slightly burnt edges make it kick.

My wife likes the Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing & some mayo on hers. If you’re going to comment that you don’t like back olives, can’t eat roasted red peppers, or would add onions, lettuce, & tomato… I’ll lift the weight off of your shoulders and ask how you’d make this yours?

If you are here to say bread, meat, or cheese are not for you and/or ask what you can substitute, I’ll say “Bean Soup” to you.

I asked Gemini to pull out an ingredient list, and it did this whole ass thing, so I’ll paste it all below for the “jump to the recipe” crowd. It’s funny how it says to slice the bun like this isn’t the ~$1 pack of 8 from Aldi. It does know what “shake cheese” is though. Do other people call it that, or just me? It adds some wild stuff all inferred from my text above.

Ingredients

This is for one sandwich, but is easily scalable for a crowd!

The Butter Brush & Dressing

  • 1 Sub Bun (or your favorite hoagie roll)
  • 2 Tbsp Butter (unsalted or salted)
  • 1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Onion Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Italian Seasoning
  • 2-3 Tbsp Sweet Italian Dressing (or another vinaigrette of your choice)
  • 1-2 tsp “Shake Cheese” (the grated Parmesan from a container)

The Filling

  • 2 Slices Provolone Cheese
  • 3-4 Slices Turkey (deli slices)
  • 3-4 Slices Ham (deli slices)
  • 6-8 Slices Hard Salami (layered)
  • 2 Tbsp Jarred Roasted Red Peppers (drained)
  • 1 Tbsp Sliced Black Olives
  • 1-2 Tbsp Shredded Parmesan (from a tub, for texture)

Wife’s Variation (Optional)

  • Roasted Red Pepper Italian Dressing
  • Mayonnaise

Instructions

1. Preheat and Prep the Butter

  • Preheat your oven to 400ยฐF.
  • In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter and EVOO together.
  • Stir in the garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

2. Toast the Bun

  • Slice your bun open and lay both halves on a sheet pan, inside-up.
  • Brush a generous layer of the seasoned butter mix onto the insides of both buns.
  • Sprinkle the insides with a tiny bit of the “shake cheese”.
  • Toast the buns in the oven for 5 minutes, or until the edges are just starting to brown.

3. Build the Base

  • Remove the buns from the oven.
  • Pour a drizzle of the Sweet Italian Dressing onto the inside of both bunsโ€”don’t saturate it, just a light coat.
  • On the bottom bun, stack the cold cuts, cheese, and veggies in this order:
    • Turkey
    • Hard Salami
    • One Slice of Provolone Cheese
    • Ham
    • Hard Salami
    • Jarred Roasted Red Peppers
    • Sliced Black Olives
    • Shredded Parmesan
  • Place the second slice of provolone cheese directly on the inside of the top bun (it will act as a shield and melt beautifully).

4. Melt and Warm

  • Put both halves of the sandwich (still separate) back in the oven for 6 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbling.
  • Carefully remove the sheet pan and assemble the sandwich by placing the top bun onto the bottom.

5. The Final Kick

Take it out, slice it, and enjoy!

Brush a little more of the remaining melted butter/spices right onto the top crust of the sandwich.

(Optional, but highly recommended) Turn the oven to Convection at 350ยฐF and pop the sandwich back in for 2 minutes. This gives you those amazing, slightly crispy, burnt edges that make the sandwich sing.

Oh yeah, did you see the soup?

…And what should I call this?

While we’re at it, which local pizza shop or deli makes your favorite Italian Sub? More than one answer is OK!

Shameless Plug | T-Shirts on Sale

Posted on by Standard 1

I try to not plug my books or T-shirts too often. You know the art (one guy even tried to steal the art). You know the links to Amazon, RedBubble, & TeePublic & the links up top here. There’s even the Linktree. It’s a fun creative outlet for me, and I would appreciate a few more sales, just like I appreciate all that you have purchased!

T-shirts are on sale this weekend at TeePublic, so you can snag one for $16, Stickers, pins, & other stuff are on sale at my shop too.

@aixelsyd13

TeePublic is having a sale, you can get these shirts & more for $16 thos weekend! Should I upload some more Halloween themed mazes? May be time to draw some new ones! You can get stickers, hats, pins, & other cool stuff there too. #TeePubic @TeePublic #TShitts #Mazes #Guitar #Food ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿป https://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13

โ™ฌ suara asli – hasby – hasby

Campfire Cookin’!

Posted on by Standard Reply

We recently went camping, and one of my favorite things to do when camping is cooking over a campfire. We did hobo packs the first night and mountain pies the second night. Both nights were a hit with the whole family.

I’ll show ya what we did if you tell me how you do it. Although, I did already solicit mountain pie recipes in 2018.

Hobo Packs over a campfire.
Hobo Pack on a plate!
Hobo Pack before cooking.
Hobo Pack after cooking.

Hobo Packs

Pretty much anything you throw in foil packet and toss over a campfire will work here. You can go right on the coals, but this was a recent fire, so I put them on a grate on top. There’s 2 layers of heavy duty foil here, but you don’t want it over a direct flame. These would work great on the grill too. I went for 30 minutes, flipped it, & let it go another 30 minutes.

I was looking for stew meat or cubed beef in the grocery store, but the Aldi on the way to the campground had beef that was marked as “Good for Carne Asada” and it looked perfect.

Ingredients:

  • Beef
  • Onion
  • White Mushrooms
  • Russet Potatoes
  • Red Bell Pepper
  • Orange Bell Pepper
  • Carrots
  • Zucchini
  • Butter
  • Spices!
    • Black pepper
    • Season salt
    • Onion powder
    • Garlic powder
    • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend

What would you put on yours?

Mountain Pies (Pizza & Italian Sub)

Mountain Pies

I have made mountain pies many different ways, but this time we went with the classic pizza ones, and some Italian sub ones for dinner. Everyone went rogue for dessert.

Mine were done up proper…

  • Pizza Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Pizza Sauce
    • Shredded Mozzarella
    • Pepperoni
    • Roasted Red Peppers
    • Black Olives
    • Mushrooms
  • Italian Sub Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Ham Lunch Meat
    • Salami Lunch Meat
    • Pepperoni
    • Turkey Lunch Meat
    • Sliced Provolone
    • Roasted Red Peppers
    • Black Olives
    • Italian Dressing
  • Banana Split Mountain Pie (This is the one I had!)
    • White bread
    • Jif Choclolate/Peanut Butter Spread
    • Sliced Banana
    • Mini Marshmallows
  • Strawberry Chocolate Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Sliced Strawberries
    • Hershey’s Choclolate
    • Powdered Sugar (on top)

In the past I’ve made Mountain Pie Reubens (on rye), baked bean pies, leftover vegetable soup (thickened up) pies, apple pies, peach pies, peanut butter cup pies, breakfast (eggs & ham) pies, and probably more. The possibilities are endless. Sloppy Joe? Chipped ham BBQ? Grilled cheese? Ham n’ cheese? Turkey melt? Cheesesteak? Hot PB&J? Hot dog & baked beans? Biscuit dough around something? How do you do yours?

Of course, this doesn’t cover all the possibilities of campfire cooking. There’s hot dogs, s’mores, campfire banana splits, campfire corn, baked potatoes, & more. What do you do over your campfires?

We recently had a blast at Forest Ridge Cabins & Campgrounds & would love to go back for more!

@aixelsyd13

Here’s the short edit! #canping #CooksForest #Marienville #PA @Forest Ridge Campground

โ™ฌ Acoustic Spring Kids Fun – Bratart

I’m actually contemplating getting a cheap electric countertop sandwich grill that seals the edges to make indoor mountain pies.

Zucchini Two Ways

Posted on by Standard 1

Like everyone who has a vegetable garden, or even just one potted plant, we have an abundance of zucchini. I was asking AI language models for casserole cooking times & temperatures based on what I had around & could easily grab from the store, and I sort of picked a hybrid of all of them. I used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, & CoPilot. Originally I had been asking about zucchini bread recipes, then asked about the casserole. It is interesting to bounce ideas off of them.

Zucchini Casserole & Pizza-ish Zucchini Things on a white plate.
“Zucchini!” (But, say it like a Jawa yelling “Utini!” in Star Wars.)

I had the idea for the lil’ zucchini things last time I made breaded zucchini & ran out of breadcrumbs before zucchini.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I hesitate to call this a casserole, because the kids are on a brainrot social media kick where they have been informed somehow that CrockโฌฉPot meals & casseroles are bad. The best part is they both ate & loved it… one even went back for more. It was a hit with the wife too, and I’d eat it again.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini - the top of a casserole dish just out of the oven, with a nice brown crispy breadcrumb topping over gooey melted cheese.
Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I felt like making a casserole, but not making a mess by pre-cooking/par-cooking or measuring anything. So… I ended up making two 9″x13″ casseroles. Here it is to the best of my memory.

The ingredients:

  • 1 ridiculously large zucchini from the garden.
  • 1 Spanish onion
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 pack (1ยฝ lbs.) of chicken breasts
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 (16 oz./1 lb.) box of Ditalini pasta
  • 1 (15.5 oz.) can of garbanzo beans
  • 2 (8 oz.) blocks of cream cheese, softened (Leave it out for a bit, nuke it, or cradle it in your armpits.)
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of shredded white cheddar cheese
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of Havarti cheese
  • 1 (1ยฝ cup) bag of Gouda cheese (Same damn size bag – thanks, shrinkflation!)
  • 1 (32 oz./4 cups) box of chicken stock
  • 1 stick (4 oz./ยฝ cup) butter.
  • Breadcrumbs – Maybe 3 cups?
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic from a jar because elicits unwarranted hate.
  • Seasonings to taste – I used Rotisserie Chicken seasoning, Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend, Black Pepper, White Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Paprika, & dried parsley. Ain’t nobody measuring all that.

I was going to include some “bacon pieces,” but I must have left them in the store, or they fell out in the car, or I put them in a weird place or threw them out, because they absolutely are in what may as well be a pocket dimension.

The Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375ยฐ
  2. Grease apparently two 9″x13″ glass baking dishes with a stick of butter.
  3. Get two mixing bowls. In one, whisk the egg, then fold in the cream cheese, the chicken stock, the garlic, the (drained) chickpeas, about half of each of the shredded cheeses, the dry Ditalini, and spices in one mixing bowl.
  4. Slice up the bell pepper, onion, zucchini, & chicken in consistently sized cubes. (If you left the zucchini in the garden too long like I did, cut out the spongy center.) Put all that in the other mixing bowl, toss it with some more of all the spices.
  5. Mix the contents of the two bowls together as you string together new swear words and wish you have an even more ridiculously larger mixing bowl.
  6. Put those into the baking dishes. Or one big one, or a casserole dish, or whatever you’ve got. Cover with foil, place in oven, & bake for 45 min.
  7. Melt the remainder of the stick of butter in a microwave safe bowl. Or a microwave unsafe bowl if you’re an agent of chaos. Dump in some breadcrumbs and toss them in the butter, so the breadcrumbs are coated but not all gross. I used a mix of panko & regular. I did not measure.
  8. Pull from the oven, but leave it on, remove foil.
  9. Spread the remaining shredded cheese on the top of the casseroles, then the buttery breadcrumbs… and put it back in the oven. I swapped it to 350ยฐ on a convection setting at this point for 15 minutes… but you do you.

Notes:

  • YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRE-COOK THE CHICKEN, PASTA, OR VEGETABLES. You certainly can, and it may deepen the flavors and reduce baking time, but I wanted to do this all in one go. I checked the chicken in a few sports with an instant-read and it was a bit over the USDA recommended 165ยฐ.
  • I was going to mix the cheeses together at the end, but why dirty another bowl? I dumped them on almost somewhat evenly.
  • Obviously, cut out what you don’t like, add what you do, skip stuff, or add stuff.
  • I may try this again with bacon or ham… but there was a good bit of salt in all the cheeses already, and probably the chickpeas.
  • I may try this with shredded zucchini and maybe leaving the chicken breast cutlets whole on top. Maybe.
  • Ricotta instead of cream cheese may be good too.
  • Use chicken broth, bone broth, vegetable broth, milk, water, or whatever… just give the pasta enough liquid to absorb.

Pizzucchini Teeny Mini

Again, this was a quick idea I had last tame I made air-fried breaded zucchini and ran out of bread crumbs because the zucchini multiplies as I sliced it. I did it in the oven quick after I yanked out the “let’s not call this casserole a casserole.”

Melted cheese, some toasted breadcrumbs, & pizza sauce over a round slice of zucchini.
Pizzuchini Teeny Mini

Ingredients:

  • 1 normal-sized zucchini.
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of “pizza cheese”
  • 1 (15 oz.) squeeze bottle of pizza sauce
  • a bit of EVOO
  • Maybe ยฝ cup of breadcrumbs

The Method:

  1. Do you really need instructions here? I put the oven on 400ยฐ on the air-fryer setting. I didn’t pre-heat it because it was already running.
  2. I sliced the zucchini about ยผ-inch thick, and put it on the baking sheet over a bit of EVOO.
  3. I dropped on some sauce, some cheese, and a tiny bit of breadcrumbs.
  4. I put it the oven for 15 minutes.

Notes:

  • What the hell is “pizza cheese?” It said that on the bag. I guess mozzarella & provolone? Please tell me in the comments that it is all plastic & slowly killing me. Maybe I should have read the bag.
  • I will probably skip the EVOO or get a cooking rack for the air fryer setting.

~๐Ÿง€~

OK, so that’s it. Hit me up with suggestions, questions, love, or hate in the comments! Share your zucchini recipes, too!

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes

Posted on by Standard 2
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

Well then, it’s finally here. I finished maze book number two! This one is better than the last one, I promise. The first was sort of a test run just to see how Amazon KDP works. I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone that bought that book, but this one just objectively looks better and much more time was put into its creation. It ought to be much more challenging and enjoyable, IMHO.

It’s called You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes. Thanks to @brain.d.37 on Threads for suggesting the title!

This book a collection of a bunch more larger mazes, and a few small ones that I have been drawing since late 2023. There’s no common theme other than most of the mazes have a silly vibe. A few have no vibe at all. There’s aliens, rodents, yard work, holiday stuff, rock n’ roll, a treasure map, food, retail aversion, gross stuff, & more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

I hope you consider picking up a copy for yourself, & maybe even one for a friend? If not, just sharing the link to someone who you think may enjoy it, or just sharing it in general would be awesome.

The link is https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9Y7SFXS and I’d love if you could share it, review it, favorite it or save it to a list… anything to help even if you’re not interested in a purchase. You could give me a good (or terrible) review or add it to your list on GoodReads too, if that’s your thing.

I had fun making a collage with punk ‘zine vibes for the cover. I busted out the mixed media, printed on weird paper, got two cutting, ripping, & coffee staining… and unearthed the leopard & cheetah print tape.

All of the mazes were hand-drawn, scanned in, edited (& “solved”) in paint.NET, & put together with Open Office. I haven’t stepped into the world of digital drawing yet, and I like my free programs. Someday, I’ll probably dive into GIMP a little more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Full Front & Back Cover)

I love drawing the mazes, and it’s a great creative outlet like blogging or making music or playing out live. I’m sitting on a pile of old ones that I can convert into a book… but I need to make sure they’re all solvable and do the solutions.

Find the tone! Guitar amp stack maze collage.

Some are too big to fit on my scanner, and scanning with my phone has less than desirable results… so I’m gonna have to go somewhere like a FedEx Office store and hope they can help before they all disappear. I have a problem picking up any notebook that catches my eye and is the right price, regardless of size & paper type. I like the feel & the calming of pen on paper.

Some of the ones that I have posted here in writing goofy emails/letters to companies probably can’t be included because of copyrights or trademarks when I include their products. (Unless La Choy/Conagra, Pizza Hut, Sheetz, Dollar Shave Club, Pepperidge Farm, Disney/Lucasfilm & more sign off on it, or it falls under fair use? I guess I could have included this one or these two.)

I guess I did figure this whole thing out.

Because I have been excited about this, and I made a small collage with leftover bits, I popped up some new merch designs in my TeePublic & RedBubble stores with that new collage & the book cover images. I do have some older designs there with a few of the mazes that are featured in this book too. If you have an account & follow me on either of those sites, it may help my stuff get seen a bit more. I’d appreciate any form of liking/sharing/tagging if you’re so inclined!

TeePublic "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13
RedBubble "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13

In fact, check out all these designs from or inspired by the book, you can get them on all kinds of merch at each store! (I ordered a sticker, a magnet, a coffee cup, & a hoodie so I’m already in the hole.)

Cover & Collage Designs:

Mazes featured in the book:

So, what do you think? Any of it catch your idea? Any ideas for maze merch? Think you’ll pick up a copy?

If you happen to get something, post a photo or video of yourself with it, & tag me on social media! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

AiXeLsyD13 maze T-shirts in the wild!

Posted on by Standard Reply

Well. One.

I have sold a few, but I love being tagged on social media if you get one, like this post on threads.

Made a sale & got tagged on Threads!www.threads.net/@funnypunkba…It looks neat on a T-shirt!

— แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ (@aixelsyd13.bsky.social) 2025-01-25T21:51:13.757Z
https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1883271326363996579

Check out all the stuff in my merch stores on RedBubble and TeePublic!

Hit me up on all the socials if you do buy a sticker, T-shirt, book, or anything. I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

Oh yeah, I ordered my Ohio Valley Style Pizza T-shirt, too… and a sticker & some maze stickers. They look neat on stuff!

TeePublic Merch Sale!

Posted on by Standard Reply

TeePublic is having a sale, and they encouraged me to spread the word. I did on various social media platforms, and Ill post those here. I’d appreciate a share if you have the time or are so inclined, and it would be cool if you’re inspired to pick something up for yourself or as a gift!

Check out http://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13 for $16 T-shirts, and other merch for up to 35% off!

There’s also always my RedBubble shop and Maze Book, too. (I’m still slowly working on a 2nd book.)

Apologies for the shameless pug, but I have to get the word out somehow. I don’t pay for advertising, as the artist profit for print-on-demand services is pretty small. If I can simply fund my creative outlets, it’s a nice lil’ personal win.

@aixelsyd13

@TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my desings in T-shirts for $16 right now, g 9ther stuff for up to 35% off. Cheoc out my stiff, get yourself a treat, or donaome holiday shopping! http://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13 #Maze #TeePublic #AiXeLsyD13 #Pizzq #Christmas #guitar #cat #turkey #banana #Thanksgiving #LEGO #witch #๐Ÿฆƒ #๐ŸŒ

โ™ฌ Father Christmas – The Kinks

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@aixelsyd13/post/DCuBGbtxwut

So, TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my art on all kinds of stuff for cheaper than usual. It's mostly mazes, but I may occasionally do other silly stuff.tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13Check out some unique stuff for yourself or for your holiday gift list! Maybe share too, please?

— แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ (@aixelsyd13.bsky.social) 2024-11-23T16:25:35.045Z
https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1860351933292150951
https://nextdoor.com/p/9JPMNSTc3rxx

Ohio Valley Style Pizza: Sometimes You Just Like It Raw

Posted on by Standard 2

Sometimes you get goofy ideas. Sometimes you follow through on them before anyone tells you no.

For some reason, Ohio Valley Style pizza has made the rounds as “Pittsburgh Pizza,” and that’s fine with me. We just had Beto’s the other night. For me, it’s delicious, inexpensive, and filling. It seems to be rather polarizing. I know DiCarlo’s & Police Station Pizza have their followings, too.

Does anyone else do it this way?

The trip inspired me to do this…

A slice of Beto's pizza, Ohio Valley Style pie from the Banksville neighborhood in Pittsburgh, PA, with the caption "Rawdog the cheese & toppings... Ohio Valley Style!"

And, now that design is available on all kinds of stuff in my TeePublic & RedBubble shops.

T-shirt @ TeePublic
Apron @ RedBubble

Check it out, and tell your friends. Buy it on something you dig it. Both stores have T-shirts, stickers, magnets, hats, & so much more!

Of course, I really enjoy Aiello’s, Badamo’s, Slice, & Italian Village Pizza, too. Also, if you catch a Fox’s on a good day, it’s pretty good too! There’s room for all styles at the table.

Hit me up in the comments with your pizza manifestos because people seem wildly adherent to their opinions, and drop your design critiques too!

Patience is a virtue. Totino’s pushes the boundaries of scientific research thanks to me.

Posted on by Standard 1

arrange the rolls in a circle on a plate

“arrange the rolls in a circle on a plate”

Oh man.ย  Does anyone remember my W(aL)D email shenanigans from a decade ago?

One such adventure was writing to Totino’s to ask if they had recommendations for microwaving more than 6 at a time.ย  They wrote back.ย  I asked them if I needed to arrange the rolls like wagon wheel spokes or like wagons on the Oregon Trail circling for protection.ย  I even got some 35ยข coupons that I considered as a research grant.

Have you noticed pizza roll cooking instructions lately?

I won! Information for the people! Research to benefit the masses!

Really though.ย  This brings up a new series of questions.

When did just arranging in “a single layer become” acceptable?ย  Who does Totino’s think they are discarding the time-honored tradition of microwaving things in a circle?ย  Did we learn nothing from our ancestors at Stonehenge?ย  Did they consult the Softstix team over at SuperPretzel, or just roll forward (pun still intended) with wild abandon?ย  How do you summon the flavor spirits without the ceremonial circle?

Has the Fibonacci spiral ever been tested as a cooking pattern?ย  Can Ci3 make me a plate specifically for microwaving pizza rolls and little cheese-filled pretzels with the Fibonacci spiral on it?

Totino's Pizza Roll Microwave Instructions

๐Ÿ”ฅ Gimme Your Mountain Pie Recipes! ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿ•๏ธ๐ŸŒณ

Posted on by Standard 2
Mountain Pielander!

So, do you like mountain pies? I sure do.

Typical mountain pie preparation, assembly, & cooking at church camp.

Typical mountain pie preparation, assembly, & cooking at church camp.

This is a horrible blurry photo of a mountain pie, but look at those crimped edges!We used to make them every time we went camping when I was a kid, and we camped quite often. Nothing beats cooking a mountain pie over the hot coals of an aging campfire. We generally make pizza ones, and we have made Reuben ones, and you have your standard pie-filling from a can/powdered sugar on top ones… but other than that I haven’t gotten too crazy. One time I did make a baked bean one. I mean, why not? Also, once we put leftover nine-can vegetable soup in an electric sandwich maker that we got on clearance from Kmart for $5. So, that is sort of similar to making a mountain pie. I mean, it would have made a good one.

It's a bit crispy, but I assure you it was delicious.

Look at those crimped edges!

You gotta use a cast iron pie iron though, not those goofy aluminum ones. I have melted many an aluminum pie iron. I make those coals blacksmith hot. Also, you need one that seals the edges. The ones that don’t make a seal are just sandwich-heater-uppers and that’s bogus. I know they also make round ones where you can cook an egg and make an Egg McMuffin-ish type of sandwich.

My wife & I counsel for church camp every summer, and my camp always makes mountain pies… a tradition my family brought to our camp group when I was younger. Usually my friend Laurel & I end up being the cooks, over a fire in a pavilion fireplace that rivals the fury of Mount Doom of Mordor.

Some of the campers have made cool ones with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I need to try that. (Side note: have you ever had a campfire banana? Do it!) An old preacher friend of ours enjoys one filled with butter & powdered sugar. I bet it’s like a donut.

#MountainPieMadness

Moutain Pielander? THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! #MountainPieMadness

So, what are your go-to mountain pie recipes?ย  I hear some people also call them hobo pies, pudgy pies, campfire pies, jaffle pies, and other crazy stuff.ย  They have to rank up there right behind hot dogs and s’mores as the #1 campfire food.ย  I have thought a cheesesteak one would be delicious, maybe an Italian Sub on, maybe a burger melt/’Frisco burger kind of thing, maybe one with baked beans and a sliced hot dog would be the ultimate campfire mashup?ย  You could go with a classic grilled cheese.

Share your tried-and-true recipes and your zany ideas in the comments!