This topic was by my friend Laurel the other night at the Dropkick MurphysShamrock-N-Roll tour. I know I’ve had this conversation before with others. I decided to take it & digitally run with it. Stereotypes are generally a bad idea, but they sure are funny. A punk rock show, or really any show… is full of them. I’ll start a list. You’ll contribute in the comments.
“That” guy. Formerly known as “the guy that wears the shirt of the band he’s going to see”, but shortened to “that guy” because that’s a mouthful. I’ve been that guy. I bet you’ve been that guy. Somehow it’s sometimes seen as cool… and sometimes not. This is probably more acceptable/expected at a Misfits or ICP show than anywhere else.
The “Windmill” Guy. Generally, he’s in a college hoodie, maybe even with his Greek letters on it. He’s visibly drunk, and probably double-fisting when not in the pit, flailing his arms around in an effort to be cool and badass by totally missing the point of slam-dancing or moshing by trying to hurt people… and take as much punishment as they can get. You can also spot them by the off-kilter fitted cap, thank Fred Durst for these toolbags.
Old Creepy Guy. I’m rapidly becoming this guy. I’m cool with that. The recent Shamrock-N-Roll show saw a really diverse group of concert-goers. There were grandmas & grandkids all over the place! Generally though, at smaller shows… there’s a lone dude just hangin’ out that doesn’t seem like he’d be into whatever’s going on at all.
Your new best friend. Cat comes up & starts talking like you’re old buds. No big deal right? You’re obviously both fans of the same band, you’re both there. What’s the harm? The conversation turns way too intimate or inappropriate quite soon. You have no escape. This guy’s probably drunk. Hopefully, anyway. He has no concept of personal space, and is telling you all about the band/joke/logo on your T-shirt.
The “Stuffed Sausage”. Generally a petite-in-height but not in girth young lady with self-esteem issues. Most likely she started as quite an attractive curvy woman, but donned about 3 lbs. of makeup, pushed up and bared most of her boobies, hung some butt cheeks out of a tiny skirt or shorts… and all of her clothing is about 2 sizes too small. I’m not hatin’, I’m just sayin’.
The nearly blind-drunk guy. There’s always a stumbler ambling through the crowd that’s just there for beer. At $30-$50 for a concert ticket without TicketBastard fees, and $7-$9 per tiny draft beer… the whole concept is pretty ridiculous. This guy generally looks like he doesn’t belong anyway. He squints to see, walks sideways while looking straight ahead, and smells like the floor of a brewery.
The militant lesbian. I’m not going to say much here, for fear of getting beat up. The partially shaved head and camo pants are a sexy sexy combo that’s always in style.
Lookatmytats. This dude or dudette has spent thousands of dollars & hours under the needle, so they wear as little clothing as possible in order to bare their epidermal canvass. I would too were I all inked up, I think. Generally this is accompanied by gauges or other “non-traditional” piercings. Not to be confused with Lookatmytatas, who needs no explanation.
Wikipedia Guy. This one is always directly behind or in front of me at concerts where you have an actual seat… also prevalent at Pens games. Wikipedia guy isn’t here to be entertained, he’s here to wow the people with him & anyone in earshot with his knowledge of the band’s formation, various lineups, demo material, and complete discography including various pressings and formats. I’m in danger of being this guy, and it’s so annoying. I love my music & trivia… but try to only spout when asked, & not broadcast it.
That’s my starter list.
I know I’m missing more than a few that I see regularly, but I’m hoping someone else will think of them too… so I’m not all alone here. What about the kid with headphones? The super-fan? The crying girl? The PDA couple?
Please, leave the name of your concert-going stereotype in the comments section below. If you’re feeling creative, how about a description too? If you have landed here via Facebook or Twitter & you’re still logged in there… you can comment below with no hassles. You can also just comment w/o logging in. WordPress just asks for a name & an email address to go along with your comments, with the option of a URL.
What stereotype are you? Which one do you love? Which one do you hate? Which one are you? Which one am I? Have any comments/additions/corrections to the ones I’ve already listed?
Perhaps I’ll compile another blog with all the results, perhaps they’ll just live in the comments section… but I need your help making the list!
I’m told that means “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or more accurately “Blessings of St. Patrick’s Day upon ye!”. I hope that’s right. Today, we celebrate Irish heritage. How the holiday’s become that, I have no idea. I’d like to share with you some Irish toasts, blessing, song, & food. If you’re not of Irish descent, well… we’ll forgive for just one day. As long as you forgive me for skipping the Guinness and sticking to the Smithwick’s.
Irish toasts & blessings…
A family of Irish birth will argue and fight,
But let a shout come from without and see them all unite.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
An Irishman is never drunk
as long as he can hold on to
one blade of grass and not
fall off the face of the earth.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
Bless your little Irish heart — and every other Irish part.
From the great Gales of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry
And all their songs are sad.
Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend.
The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful.
Here’s to you and yours,
And to mine and ours,
And if mine and ours ever come
Across you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours,
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!
Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here’s to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
I have known many,
and liked not a few,
but loved only one
and this toast is to you.
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May neighbours respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.
May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards us.
May the good saints protect you
And bless you today
And may troubles ignore you
Each step of the way
May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.
May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty.
May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all the Irish angels,
Smile upon you on St. Patrick’s Day.
May the lilt of Irish laughter Lighten every load,
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road,
May you taste the sweetest pleasures That fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road…
And may all your friends remember
All the favours you are owed!
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, “this drink’s on me.”
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.
And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!
May you have food and raiment,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be forty years in heaven
before the devil knows you’re dead.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
the foresight to know where you’re going,
and the insight to know when you’ve gone too far.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.
May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.
May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent.
May you never find trouble
All crowdin’ and shovin’
But always good fortune
All smilin’ and lovin’
May you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
May your home be filled with laughter
May your pockets be filled with gold
And may you have all the happiness
Your Irish heart can hold.
May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
May your troubles be less
And your blessing be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
My friends are the best friends
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
That the tap may be open when it rusts!
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking!
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me. … Slainte!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May the strength of three be in your journey.
May the sound of happy music, And the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.
Here’s to me, and here’s to you,
And here’s to love and laughter-
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head-
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
May you have love that never ends,
lots of money, and lots of friends.
Health be yours, whatever you do,
and may God send many blessings to you!
May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
May you have:
A world of wishes at your command.
God and his angels close to hand.
Friends and family their love impart,
and Irish blessings in your heart!
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.
For each petal on the shamrock.
This brings a wish your way
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
May the embers from the open hearth warm your hands,
May the sun’s rays from the Irish sky warm your face,
May the children’s bright smiles warm your heart,
May the everlasting love I give you warm your soul.
May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks,
May your heart be as light as a song,
May each day bring you bright, happy hours,
That stay with you all the year long.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now,
And bless you evermore.
May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye,
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye,
An long life t’ yer honor-
That’s the end of my song t’ ye!
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do.
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow.
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
May your troubles be less,
And your blessing be more.
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door.
And some Irish song…
This one’s from Seamus Kennedy, you need to check him out if he’s ever on tour in a pub or a festival near you!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
Wow, I think I got a reply from this faster than I was in line the last time I went through the McDonald’s drive-through. You can read the original message with yesterday’s “O’Ffended“, or see the full text below included in their reply.
from McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com date Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 5:24 AM subject Message from McDonald’s USA
Hello Eric:
Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald’s.
We appreciate your comments. I apologize for your dissatisfaction with our company. Please know that I have immediately forwarded this information to the appropriate personnel for further review.
Again, thank you for contacting McDonald’s. We hope to have the opportunity of serving you again soon under the Golden Arches.
Jessica
McDonald’s Customer Response Center
ref#:6711209
————————————————————————————————————–
Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com
————————————————————————————————————–
McDonald’s now has FREE WiFi at over 11,000 U.S. locations! Find out more at http://www.mcdwireless.com.
You wrote:
Hello friends, You may not know that “Mick/Mic/Mc” is listed in the Racial Slur Database as “Irish | Many Irish surnames begin with ‘Mc’ or ‘Mac.’ Many Irish are also named after the famed Michael Collins, making Michael (Mick) a very common name. Not as derogatory as Paddy.” I was wondering, in an ever-increasingly politically correct society, why you would continue to use the “Mc” prefix on your items and promotions?
As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, I can’t hep but wonder if I should feel celebrated, or offended?
I mean, the Shamrock Shake is indeed awesome. Who can get angry about those? (Except maybe Grimace, who’s no longer around to promote them?)
I realize that the original brothers were named “McDonald”, but why the “Mc” or “Mac” in “McNuggets”, “McCaf??”, “Mayor McCheese”, “Big Mac” or any other McWord? ie – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McWords
Do you feel any responsibility for the Mc-inization of the USA?
Thank you for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!
-Eric
I wonder who the appropriate parties are… and what do they mean by “under the Golden Arches”? Is that where Jimmy Hoffa is buried?
Heh. You can blame this one on my cousin Melynda. She encouraged me to write to McDonald’s to try & get free shamrock shake coupons. I have no idea if this will do the trick or not, but it sure was fun.
Submitted via webform, some links added for your convenience…
from McDonald’s <DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com> reply-to McDonald’s <DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com> to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com date Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 12:33 PM subject McDonald’s Web Site Comment or Question
Thank you for visiting McDonald’s website. Below is your email which has been submitted to McDonald’s Customer Response Center. While replies to this e-mail cannot be received, should you need to contact us again, please feel free to contact us through mcdonalds.com. Thank you.
Title: Mr.
First Name: Eric
Last Name: Aixelsyd
Mailing Address:
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA
Zip:
Day Phone: 412-555-1212
Evening Phone: 724-555-1212
Contact Time: email only please
Your E-mail Address: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Comment: Hello friends, You may not know that “Mick/Mic/Mc” is listed in the Racial Slur Database as “Irish | Many Irish surnames begin with ‘Mc’ or ‘Mac.’ Many Irish are also named after the famed Michael Collins, making Michael (Mick) a very common name. Not as derogatory as Paddy.” I was wondering, in an ever-increasingly politically correct society, why you would continue to use the “Mc” prefix on your items and promotions?
As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, I can’t hep but wonder if I should feel celebrated, or offended?
I mean, the Shamrock Shake is indeed awesome. Who can get angry about those? (Except maybe Grimace, who’s no longer around to promote them?)
I realize that the original brothers were named “McDonald”, but why the “Mc” or “Mac” in “McNuggets”, “McCafé”, “Mayor McCheese”, “Big Mac” or any other McWord? ie – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McWords
Do you feel any responsibility for the Mc-inization of the USA?
Thank you for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!
-Eric
Also… just to clarify to everyone out there who asks why I get so upset at various companies, or why I do this… most all of the posts in the W(aL)D category are just facetious in nature, or at least they start out that way. I don’t know why I need to explain this, or if I even should… it may be funnier if you think it’s real. Ha ha ha.
World (and Lunar) Domination 