Tag Archives: W(aL)D

Hungry for Knowledge as well as Chicken Tenders…

Posted on by Standard 6

So, not long ago, we got some of those bagged Tyson breast tenders. They’re a nice quick meal, and generally consistently good quality.  Although, in talking with Dave who serves them quite regularly, he seems to not find any of the “odd” ones that I mention below.  Do you get odd ones?  I’d like to open up discussion.

I opened an amusing dialog with Tyson, and here’s how it’s panned out so far:

Peace, Poultry Potentates!

Recently, my wife brought home a bag of your delicious Honey Battered Breast Tenders.  I must say that they are the perfect dinner solution when we are pressed for time or just plain don’t feel like cooking.  I generally over-indulge because the breading/batter is so delicious when cooked in the oven, and I thoroughly enjoy dipping things… whether it be in Honey Mustard, Honey BBQ, just plain ketchup, A1, or a nugget-dipping sauce pilfered (I mean “left over”) from one of the many fast food chains.

On a side note… I really wish Arby’s would bottle & sell their Bronco Berry Sauce®.  Perhaps you can talk to them about that?  It’s EXCELLENT on chicken nuggets or tenders.  Maybe you’d have better luck with McDonald’s getting their nugget sauces in stores?  Didn’t you guys provide them with the not-quite-Chick-fil-A sandwich?

Too many tangents, my friends.  My mind wanders.  Well, not so much wanders as jumping randomly from thought to seemingly unconnected thought.  I assure you though… I do have a point in writing to you today.

I would like to see if I have won some sort of prize, or made some sort of amazing discovery.  Upon opening the most recently purchased bag of Honey Battered Breast Tenders [Mfg. Code 2390CNQ0610] to place on a baking sheet (covered in foil because I hate to clean up), out came this wild tiger-striped breast tender.  If this were an email, I would simply attach my photos, but it’s not, and I can’t… so I will provide you with a link to the photographic evidence on Photobucket:

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p139/worldandlunardomination/creepy%20tyson%20chicken%20thing/Tiger-StripedNuggetThing1640w.jpg

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p139/worldandlunardomination/creepy%20tyson%20chicken%20thing/Tiger-StripedNuggetThing2640w.jpg

These photos were taken of the tender just as it was after being pulled out of the bag, I did not cook this tender.

You can see that one side of the tender is more striped than the other.  Surely, I have made an amazing discovery.  Is this like Charlie Bucket’s golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  Do I get a free tour of your facility now?  That would be quite exciting.  Quite exciting indeed!  I must confess that I don’t typically stay up on current poultry-related events, so I haven’t seen anything about the contest.  I was unaware on how to proceed, so I figured that I would reach out to you.

I found this “deviant” to be exceptional.  Generally, there’s the accepted and expected amount of 2 or 3 “off” breast tenders to a pack.  This isn’t the usual overcooked/brown one, a non-fully coated one, the mysterious black spot one, or the “Siamese twin” one(s?).  (I saw these machines on the Food Network or History Channel one time… where this laser shot odd-colored potato chips out of the line.  Perhaps you ought to look into borrowing one over a weekend to see if it works out on your line?)

I immediately placed the chicken tender with war paint into a plastic freezer-bag and placed it back in the freezer.  I can certainly send it to you upon request, although I’m not sure where to obtain dry ice for safe shipping.

Also, there was a ridiculously short yet violent storm in the area last week that knocked out our power for two days.  Most everything else in the freezer and refrigerator ended up in our trash cans because our power company doesn’t understand the importance of a solid infrastructure quite like it should.  (Our power has gone out for more than 24 hours on three separate occasions this year alone.)

I kept the tiger-tender, and did open the Ziploc® bag to take a whiff.  It’s definitely not rancid, but it did get to a point where it was more soggy than frozen.  I have considered sending a bill for my wasted food (including about 1/2 the bag of Tyson Honey Battered Breast Tenders) to Duquesne Light, but am unsure of the legality.

Well, my de-feathered friends, I thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon regarding this rare specimen.  I wait with hardly contained excitement, much to my wife’s dismay.  For some strange reason, she thinks that the zebra-tender is just a fluke, and not a prize winning game-piece, or as I had suggested one night while sitting in the dark… Perhaps it’s a new top secret flavor, unveiled in a covert manner to the masses.  Help me prove that I’m right!

Hungry for Knowledge as well as Chicken Tenders,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

And, the photos…

Tiger-Striped Nugget Thing 1Tiger-Striped Nugget Thing 2

I submitted it via webform, and didn’t get any immediate responses… so of course, I Googled some “@tyson.com” email addresses until I came up with a few. Luckily, it worked!

from Barber, Willie <Willie.Barber@tyson.com>
to ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
date Fri, Oct 1, 2010 at 6:13 PM
subject Tyson Honey Battered Breast Tenders
mailed-by tyson.com

Hello, ERiC AiXeLsyD:

Thank you for a very entertaining and interesting message!  The pictures were very helpful.

The Food Safety & Quality Assurance Manager at the processing plant reviewed the picture of the “tiger tender”  and its compadre.   She related that the stripes are overcooked batter in crevices caused by the wire conveyor belt.  Sometimes when the batter is too thin, the wire belt will make “ridges” on the tenders.  Because the batter is thin, it cooked up darker compared to the rest of the batter on the tender.  The sugar in the honey also adds to a darker color profile. She also related that the other picture looked like there wasn’t enough batter or it popped off during freezing or packing.

So, it appears that the tiger tender and the rare specimen are simply suffering from the lack of batter–nothing interesting or covert!   Send me your postal address and I will send some complimentary coupons to help your Hunger for Chicken Tenders.

Best regards,

Willie D. Barber
Manager, Consumer Relations

PS  Some time ago while researching on the web, I happened to visit your blog and became intrigued with your name.   Surprisingly, I recognized it when your message was forwarded to me.  You are certainly a multi-talented person!

Couldn’t have asked for a better response. Ha ha ha. Not only did they write back, but they took it seriously, and it looks like I may get some free stuff or at least a coupon!  Bonus points for the use of the word compadre, even if there was no mention of McDonald’s and/or Arby’s.

Also… the PS?  I’m famous? Ha ha ha. I wonder where/how Mr. Barber previously came across my ramblings?  I didn’t think that many people read this thing.

Oh well, now I need to write back… but I’d still like to know about the odd ones.  Be it chicken tenders, pizza rolls, any frozen food… isn’t there generally always an odd one or two?

Peace, Poultry Potentates!

Recently, my wife brought home a bag of your delicious Honey Battered Breast Tenders.  I must say that they are the perfect dinner solution when we are pressed for time or just plain don't feel like cooking.  I generally over-indulge because the breading/batter is so delicious when cooked in the oven, and I thoroughly enjoy dipping things... whether it be in Honey Mustard, Honey BBQ, just plain ketchup, A1, or a nugget-dipping sauce pilfered (I mean "left over") from one of the many fast food chains.  

On a side note... I really wish Arby's would bottle & sell their Bronco Berry Sauce®.  Perhaps you can talk to them about that?  It's EXCELLENT on chicken nuggets or tenders.  Maybe you'd have better luck with McDonald's getting their nugget sauces in stores?  Didn't you guys provide them with the not-quite-Chick-fil-A sandwich?

Too many tangents, my friends.  My mind wanders.  Well, not so much wanders as jumping randomly from thought to seemingly unconnected thought.  I assure you though... I do have a point in writing to you today.

I would like to see if I have won some sort of prize, or made some sort of amazing discovery.  Upon opening the most recently purchased bag of Honey Battered Breast Tenders [Mfg. Code 2390CNQ0610] to place on a baking sheet (covered in foil because I hate to clean up), out came this wild tiger-striped breast tender.  If this were an email, I would simply attach my photos, but it's not, and I can't... so I will provide you with a link to the photographic evidence on Photobucket:





These photos were taken of the tender just as it was after being pulled out of the bag, I did not cook this tender.

You can see that one side of the tender is more striped than the other.  Surely, I have made an amazing discovery.  Is this like Charlie Bucket's golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  Do I get a free tour of your facility now?  That would be quite exciting.  Quite exciting indeed!  I must confess that I don't typically stay up on current poultry-related events, so I haven't seen anything about the contest.  I was unaware on how to proceed, so I figured that I would reach out to you.

I found this "deviant" to be exceptional.  Generally, there's the accepted and expected amount of 2 or 3 "off" breast tenders to a pack.  This isn't the usual overcooked/brown one, a non-fully coated one, the mysterious black spot one, or the "Siamese twin" one(s?).  (I saw these machines on the Food Network or History Channel one time... where this laser shot odd-colored potato chips out of the line.  Perhaps you ought to look into borrowing one over a weekend to see if it works out on your line?)

I immediately placed the chicken tender with war paint into a plastic freezer-bag and placed it back in the freezer.  I can certainly send it to you upon request, although I'm not sure where to obtain dry ice for safe shipping.

Also, there was a ridiculously short yet violent storm in the area last week that knocked out our power for two days.  Most everything else in the freezer and refrigerator ended up in our trash cans because our power company doesn't understand the importance of a solid infrastructure quite like it should.  (Our power has gone out for more than 24 hours on three separate occasions this year alone.)  

I kept the tiger-tender, and did open the Ziploc® bag to take a whiff.  It's definitely not rancid, but it did get to a point where it was more soggy than frozen.  I have considered sending a bill for my wasted food (including about 1/2 the bag of Tyson Honey Battered Breast Tenders) to Duquesne Light, buy am unsure of the legality.

Well, my de-feathered friends, I thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon regarding this rare specimen.  I wait with hardly contained excitement, much to my wife's dismay.  For some strange reason, she thinks that the zebra-tender is just a fluke, and not a prize winning game-piece, or as I had suggested one night while sitting in the dark... Perhaps it's a new top secret flavor, unveiled in a covert manner to the masses.  Help me prove that I'm right!

Hungry for Knowledge as well as Chicken Tenders,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

Don’t shave your panda in the dark (without light).

Posted on by Standard Reply

So I’ve been jamming with some cats in Ernie and the Berts, and they have both begun the addictive art of blogging.  I’m not sure how exactly the blogs will take shape, and maybe they’re still not sure either.  This hasn’t stopped them from posting some interesting stuff so far.  I’m just glad that there are people out there just as insane as me sometimes.

Check ’em out…

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh yeah… <shameless plug>Ernie and the Berts is playing our 1st real show this Friday at the 31st Street Pub… you should come check it out!</shameless plug>

Episode II: Crapplebee’s Writes Back

Posted on by Standard 1

Did you read my Crapplebee’s post, and the AllergyEats blog post that it referred you to?  (Really, check out all the comments, especially from AEPaul about the posts at aceliaconthemove.blogspot.com!) Okay, then you’re ready to read this.

Well, maybe read one more thing… the latest blog from AllergyEats with the response from Applebee’s.  It’s awesome to know that there are others out there that share my affinity for writing letters/emails to companies and getting stupid responses.  I encourage you to let AllergyEats know that you want to see it pursued further.  I want to encourage you to pursue it yourself.  Write emails, write letters, write blogs, make phone calls, blog, tweet,  Digg it, post on Facebook or to the 3 people left on MySpace that aren’t bands, Tumblr, re-blog, re-tweet, re-Tumblr this until it gets out an annoys everyone and not just Applebee’s.

While Paul at AllergyEats dissects the message in his own way, I would like to translate the response as I read it:

Dear AllergyEats Subscribers,

“Dear people that we could really care less about,”

We recognize the importance of making sure our food-allergic guests have safe options they can enjoy at their neighborhood Applebee’s.

“We’re saying that we recognize that the food-allergic need to have safe options, but we don’t feel the need to mention any specific allergies or options.  While we recognize the importance, we’re also not saying that we’re doing anything about it.”

Food allergies are a serious concern, and we are working to improve how we accommodate the needs of our FA-guests.

“We’re telling you that food allergies are a serious concern, even though they’re clearly not because it hasn’t yet affected our profits.  We’re also telling you we’re ‘working to improve’, and again failing to mention any specifics”

Depending on the food allergy, we do offer different menu items that are appropriate options, or that can be prepared without the allergic food.

“We obviously didn’t read your blog, because you were told something quite different by your server and manager, about how there was butter all over the grill & absolutely no way to accommodate you.”

We recommend that you talk with your server or restaurant manager about the allergy, and how your meal is prepared, to help ensure your dining experience is safe.

“This is another way of letting you know that we didn’t read or comprehend your blog… or don’t have all that great of a grasp on the English language, because you already tried what we just recommended, and it most certainly did not work out for you.”

Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention — we value the safety and enjoyment of all our guests.

“We’re not going to follow up with the server & manager from that store who are obviously unaware of our apparent policies, because we really really really don’t care.”

Sincerely,

Applebee’s

“Full of Shit, Applebee’s (The newly sentient restaurant chain, now capable of writing letters.)”  –  Seriously.  They couldn’t even sign their name or provide some contact information for a follow up?

I think I may just have to write to Applebee’s myself.

Biliruben Is the Secret

Posted on by Standard 2

Well, someone at the Penn State Food Science department has a sense of humor.  Ha ha ha.  Have you followed my attempt to contact Galliker’s, the Yahoo! Answers question, posing the question to Turner’s, and Turner’s final suggestion?  OK, then you’re caught up… and you can read this.  I emailed the following to a bunch of people there, and as of yet have only received one reply.  Here’s the email:

from: ERiC AiXeLsyD  <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
to: foodsci@psu.edu
cc: ca3@psu.edu, xd11@psu.edu, jdf10@psu.edu, tsd3@psu.edu, sep14@psu.edu, jmw5@psu.edu, jxc16@psu.edu, moconnor@psu.edu, emills@psu.edu
date: Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 11:03 PM
subject: Blue + Brown = …Green?
mailed-by: gmail.com

Salutations Savvy Sustenance Science Scholar Staff!

I write to you today with something that has had me perplexed for quite a while.  It was recently suggested to me that you would be the the ones with the most knowledge and best skill set to deal with my query.  I of course, thought that this was a splendid idea… which is why I’m (obviously I guess) writing to you now.

Do you like “blue flavored” drinks and Popsicles?  I do.  I enjoy them quite a lot, actually.  Whether it’s the seemingly fictional blue raspberry, some sort of punch, Faygo’s Jazzin’ Blues Berry, or “Bug Juice”… I just seem to gravitate to blue colored drinks.  As of late, I’ve noticed an interesting side-effect of said blue flavored drink consumption:  For some reason, it tends to turn my feces a quite disturbing shade of green.

First, I wrote to Gallagher’s and my missive went unanswered.  Perhaps they did not find the humor in my inquiry.  Perhaps they were upset that I mentioned rival dairy, Turner’s, as having a better Iced Tea.  Perhaps they were offended that I offered to provide photos as evidence of my brightly-hued chartreuse bowel movement upon request.

Second, I posted a question to the Yahoo! Answers community, and wasn’t exactly satisfied with the answer.  I understand the general concept that what you eat determines the contents of your waste, but want a deeper explanation.  Why does the blue dye turn out so green?  Why doesn’t it come out blue?  What is going on in there?  What exactly isn’t digesting?  Does that much blue dye really need to be there?  Are my insides dyed blue or green after it comes out?  Is it harmful?  Are my intestines playing some sort of practical joke on my eyes?

In a tertiary attempt to unravel the mystery at hand, I contacted the good people at Turner Dairy Farms, and was met with a couple of responses, each unfortunately unable to answer my original question… but courteous and accommodating nonetheless.  It was a Mr. Yon & his Quality Control Manager at Turner’s who directed my attention to your esteemed department as the group that would successfully be able to provide a satisfactory explanation of the process behind the green from my behind.

I would really appreciate any insight that you may have on the situation.  Have studies been done about this phenomenon?  Has anyone ever asked you about such things before?  I have so many questions, and you’re the  education experts!  I really appreciate your taking the time to read my email, and thank you in advance for your assistance!

The Emerald Excreter,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

Perhaps it was too goofy for all the other stuffy scientists?  Maybe they’re scared of the Emerald Excreter!

At any rate, I got an amusing an informative answer (finally):

from: EDWARD MILLS <ewm3@psu.edu>
to: ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
date: Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 2:07 PM
subject: Re: Blue + Brown = …Green?
mailed-by: psu.edu

Eric,
Interesting question with possibly a very simple explanation.  The human eye sees green when blue and yellow light are reflected simultaneously from a surface.  Blue food dye reflects blue light.  Find a yellow dye to go with it and you could account for the observed green.

I would speculate that the blue food dye is passing through your GIT largely unchanged and is not absorbed across the gut wall. One of the more common pigments of normal stool in biliruben a yellow pigment (derived from hemoglobin or myoglobin breakdown).  Put the two together and the resulting stool might appear green.

Have a great day!
Ed Mills
814-865-2394

Win!  I did have a great day Mr. Mills, thanks to your easy to understand explanation.  Finally, the great mystery is solved!

Crapplebee’s

Posted on by Standard 2

So, I read an infuriating post yesterday on The AllergyEats Blog.  It was a post from someone who has an allergy quite unsuccessfully trying to find a meal that won’t kill them at Applebee’s.  The poster is much more adventurous than I am.  I do as much research as possible before setting foot into a place, even down to emailing or calling ahead to can see what I can eat that hasn’t touched any death-fish.  I wouldn’t even go into an Applebee’s because they cook shrimp on the grill & in the fryer in there.  A sample of the text…

I ordered a hamburger, but explained my dairy allergy and politely went through my usual requests – no butter on the bun, no cheese on the burger, make sure the burger is cooked with no dairy, etc.  The waitress immediately told me that they “couldn’t do that.”

What?  You can’t stop yourself from slathering butter on the roll?  All of the burgers come pre-packaged with cheese on top?

I was actually shocked because the staff had always cheerfully prepared my dairy-free food in the past.  Did they change their attitude along with their menu?

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, then you may have seen this link.  I felt it was worth posting again, as my W(aL)D instincts took over and I ended up tweeting a link to the blog to the people at Applebee’s…

@Applebees Wow – “#foodallergy F-you: http://bit.ly/9UeUvz (via @AiXeLsyD13)” –  What do you have to say for yourself?

&

@Applebees Check out @AllergyEats, they’re the ones who blogged the situation: http://twitter.com/AllergyEats/status/21397851915

Apparently I got their attention, and they’ve contacted Paul at the Allergy Eats blog. Hopefully they can offer up some sort of formal apology, but more importantly start the steps to put a process in place where they not only recognize people with food allergies (and their families) who might want to dine out and need a safe place to eat, but implement training and procedures to become that dining safe haven.

At any rate, the comments on their blog have blown up, and get more & more interesting with each posting.  (Apparently the AllergyEats Facebook page is kickin’ with comments too.) Some of the stories share are appalling (& remind me of my original Subway-related rant and the recent “dog turd” one).  Thankfully AEPaul doesn’t seem to mind me sticking my proverbial nose into this Applebee’s mess, but apparently I just can’t help myself.  The internet makes it so easy to be crazy and so easy to contact people.  But really, this kind of stuff can’t go unaddressed.  Applebee’s has a responsibility to make it right.

I keep pounding on this, but for next year’s Food Allergy Awareness Week, we need to concentrate less on legislation and government and more on the people who are in a better position to actually do something about it.  I really feel that better accommodations can be made to those with food allergies when it’s consumer driven, versus having to make those accommodations because of government regulations.  Regulations provide no incentive to exceed the guidelines passed along.  Beating the chain restaurant across the street is incentive.  Word of mouth (or free viral social media  advertising) from people with food allergies and their families would be a hell of a boon to any business, and would most certainly generate some positive press.

Please post, re-post, tweet, re-tweet, tumblr, or Vulcan-mind meld this blog or the original blog (or both) to everyone that you can.  Let Applebee’s and other chain restaurants know that this is not cool.

W_a_L_D

  1. @Applebees Check out @AllergyEats, they’re the ones who blogged the situation: http://twitter.com/AllergyEats/status/21397851915 12:20 PM Aug 17th via web in reply to Applebees
  2. @Applebees Thanks, it wasn’t my experience. I just read about it here: http://bit.ly/9UeUvz 12:11 PM Aug 17th via web in reply to Applebees
  3. @Applebees Wow – “#foodallergy F-you: http://bit.ly/9UeUvz (via @AiXeLsyD13)” – What do you have to say for yourself? 10:19 AM Aug 17th via web
  4. @negative13 Tuesday is the day for war & law. 10:16 AM Aug 17th via web in reply to negative13
  5. @BrandiCarter @subway @subwayfreshbuzz… did the egg whites have any “seafood sub” filling splashed on them? 4:11 PM Aug 16th via web in reply to subwayfreshbuzz
  6. Amusing McStory from “braincell” who commented about the West Liberty Ave. @McDonalds: http://bit.ly/bQuCWC #McDonalds @Kty_McD @Kim_McD 4:09 PM Aug 16th via web
  7. What kind of sauce would you like to see bottled & sold? http://wp.me/pwqzc-k6 @Arbys @Wendys 4:07 PM Aug 16th via web
  8. @ChickfilA Those little mini sandwiches drive me crazy. If I passed CFA on the way to work, I’d be a much fatter man. 11:22 AM Aug 10th via web in reply to ChickfilA
  9. @FoodNetwork any taco without fish or shrimp in it… 11:21 AM Aug 10th via web in reply to FoodNetwork
  10. @kevinpollak Which one did you get? Cheese Steak, Cappacola, Corned Beef…? 2:02 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to kevinpollak
  11. @Bathroom_Reader …are all the noses in the same place? 2:01 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to Bathroom_Reader
  12. @SSSUBWAY What do you think re #foodallergies, cross-contamination, & lack of good responses from your CS people? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 2:00 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to SSSUBWAY
  13. What do you think re #foodallergies, cross-contamination, & lack of good responses from your CS people? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 1:59 PM Aug 9th via web
  14. @FredSubwayCEO What do you think re #foodallergies, cross-contamination, & lack of good responses from your CS people? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 12:10 PM Aug 9th via web in reply to FredSubwayCEO
  15. )xxxxx[;;;;;;;;;> 10:42 AM Aug 9th via web
  16. @subwaytechtweet @Subwaydeals What do you guys think about #foodallergies & cross-contamination? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH #subway 9:13 AM Aug 9th via web
  17. @TheRealSubman @springfieldsub What do you guys think about #foodallergies & cross-contamination? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH #subway 9:12 AM Aug 9th via web in reply to TheRealSubman
  18. @JohnstownSubway What do you guys think about #foodallergies & cross-contamination? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH #subway 9:06 AM Aug 9th via web in reply to JohnstownSubway
  19. @SubwayEatFresh … so, do you Tweet at all, or what? http://wp.me/pwqzc-gH 9:04 AM Aug 9th via web

No Prior Knowledge

Posted on by Standard 2

Following the green poop issue that went from the terribly unfunny Galliker’s to Yahoo! Answers to Turner’s Dairy?  Well, if so, I have an answer and a suggestion from our new friend Nicholas and his Quality Control Director…

from Nicholas Yon <Nicholas@turnerdairy.net>
to ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
date Wed, Aug 11, 2010
subject RE: Galliker’s vs. Turner’s?

Eric-

Unfortunately, our Quality Control Director has no prior knowledge of your coloration situation and could not find any further information beyond if the body cannot digest or absorb something it will pass through the body possibly causing a color change.  He indicated that you may want to contact the Penn State Food Science Department.  Thanks again, sorry I could not be of more assistance.

P.S. Yes I get to drive the TeaBird from time to time.  I haven’t had it out this summer yet though.

Nicholas

I think I have to write to Penn State Food Science Department now.  I wonder if they have a sense of humor?

Turner’s is much more awesome than Galliker’s. I’m just sayin’.

Posted on by Standard 5

Not only does Turner’s produce better Iced Tea, but they’re infinitely more awesome as a company.  As evidence, I give you the following email exchange.  You might want to catch up by reading my previous exchange with Turner’s and an attempted exchange with Galliker’s.

From me to Turner’s:

from ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
to Nicholas@turnerdairy.net
date Wed, Aug 4, 2010
subject Galliker’s vs. Turner’s?
mailed-by gmail.com

hide details Aug 4 (2 days ago)

Hello Titans of Tea!

Recently I wrote to Galliker’s about their Blue Raspberry Drink, and I happened to mention Turner’s Dairy.  They as of yet have not written me back.  Perhaps they were upset that I mentioned that your tea is superior and that you have a cool Tea-bird while they do not?  You can see the full email below.

At any rate, I’ve decided to stop consuming any Galliker’s products… even though I usually have to go out of my way to get Turner’s products.  (I wish more Giant Eagle stores would carry your stuff!)

The only foreseeable problem is that I like their Blue Raspberry flavored drink.  Do you guys have anything comparable?  If so, know where I can get it in Bridgeville, Heidelberg, or anywhere in the South Hills?

Also… the main point of the email below is the odd coloration after the blue dye consumption.  Do you have anything that’s a color that may balance it out?  Science is fun!  Do you guys have food scientists in your employ?  Perhaps this would be something for them to tackle.

Thank you for your time, and have a great day!

Make mine Turner’s,
-Eric

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 26, 2010
Subject: Blue Raspberry Drink & interesting side-effects?
To: info@gallikers.com
Cc: stangeletti@gallikers.com

Hello Mighty Milk Moguls,

I’m writing today to tell you how much I enjoy your Blue Raspberry drink.  Man, it’s flavorful and gives me quite the sugar rush!  I do enjoy Galliker’s milk and juices, although your iced tea isn’t quite as good as Turner’s.  Your lime drink is also stellar… but typically we go for the blue.  I was wondering why you don’t have them all pictured/listed somewhere on the website when I looked to find a way to contact you.  It’s good to show everyone what you’ve got!  Turner Dairy has a photo of all of their products on their website, along with nutritional information.  I do enjoy the allergen information on the “Learn More” section of your site though… it’s something I take quite seriously as a person who suffers from a severe shellfish allergy.

The main reason that I’m writing to you today is to ask… why does your Blue Raspberry drink turn my poop into an odd shade of green?  It’s quite a disturbing site until I realize that I drank some of your juice in the last 24 hours or so.  Perhaps you ought to put a warning on the label?  I’d love to know the science behind it.  If you need photos, I can send them upon request.

Thank you for your time, and thanks in advance for the reply.  I can’t wait to hear from you!

It’s not easy being green,
-Eric

P.S. – Turner’s has a Tea-Bird, do you guys have the Galliker’s Gremlin or something cool like that?

Ridiculous, but after getting nothing from Galliker’s and pretty much a “you’re goofy” from the Yahoo! Answers community…  Why not? Well, it paid off. Nicholas  form Turner’s wrote back!

from Nicholas Yon <Nicholas@turnerdairy.net>
to ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
date Wed, Aug 4, 2010
subject RE: Galliker’s vs. Turner’s?

Eric-

Thank you for the email and kind words.  I hope the Brentwood Giant Eagle is still providing you with a viable (albeit it a somewhat far drive) option for procuring our Charlie’s Old Fashioned Buttermilk.  We do produce a “Blue Bug Juice” product which is a blue raspberry flavored beverage (picture attached).  Listed below is a location in Bridgeville that regularly carries said product as well as a number of additional Turner’s products.  As far as the blue coloration, I’ve forwarded your email to our Quality Control Director for his insight.  He’s on vacation this week and part of next so an answer will be forthcoming but may not be for a few weeks.  He may need to discuss this with some colleagues.  Thank you again for the email and for making our higher standard yours!  Have a great afternoon.

7-11 Bridgeville
850 Boyce Road
Bridgeville, PA

Nicholas Yon
Marketing Director
Turner Dairy Farms, Inc.
From Local Farms to Local Families!

The attached picture:

Blue Bug Thirs-T

Tuner's | Blue Bug Juice

I’m easily wowed by shiny things like pictures.  Pretty neat!  I’m going to have to pick up some of this bug juice.  I hope it’s made from real bugs!  (I’d love to… but can’t bring myself to write & ask that at this point.)

And… it’s awesome that this guy remembered me form before… because I totally sent the other email from my “real” email address… not this W(aL)D one.  Granted, it’s a thinly veiled alias, but dude had to be paying attention.  Kudos for that!  Ha ha ha.

I wrote back to them, of course…

from ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
to Nicholas Yon <Nicholas@turnerdairy.net>
date Fri, Aug 6, 2010
subject Re: Galliker’s vs. Turner’s?
mailed-by gmail.com

hide details 3:05 PM (54 minutes ago)

Thank you, Nicholas, for your quick and informative reply!

I will definitely be on the lookout for Blue Bug Juice!  when I was young and went to camp, we always called the drink “bug juice”.  Good times!  I like the product by name alone.  Ha ha ha.  I can swing through Bridgeville on my way home from work.  Thanks for the attached picture!

The Brentwood Giant Eagle is a great place for me to get Charlie’s Old Fasioned Buttermilk when the craving hits.  Plus, I can use going down that way as an excuse to eat at the Brentwood Express Rowdy BBQ stand.  Ever been there?  It’s ridiculously awesome barbecue.

I really look forward to hearing from your Quality Control Director.  I mean, I can make a guess as to the reason for my query, but I’d like an expert opinion.  An answer from a committee of his peers would even be better!

I find it hilarious that your “esteemed” competition obviously has no sense of humor as a company.  It must be boring to go through life with no appreciation for anything amusing.

I just need to make it a point to stop at Rite Aid more often to get my Turner’s iced tea fix… although I wish they’d carry a larger selection of products like the juices & lime tea.

Have a pleasant weekend!

-Eric

P.S. – Do you ever get to drive the Tea-Bird?  That would make for an exciting weekend!

Hopefully I’ll hear something from this mysterious Quality Control Director and his esteemed panel of colleagues.

The McSaga Continues (…A reply from Ms. Jones!)

Posted on by Standard 9

Perhaps this is the end more than a continuation.

I wrote back to Mr. Kausky & received another reply.  I pushed again with Kty_McD and received an actual reply from Ella Jones at Mc5834.  Perversely, I hope when I read in the seething anger between the lines that I’m not wrong.

I’ll try to lay it out in Chronological order…

from ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
to Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by gmail.com

Hello Scott,

I would like to first thank you for your replies.  I can tell by the look of your location and the attitude of the employees that great pride is taken in the operation of your McDonald’s.  Your emails have confirmed it!  I’m generally amazed at how quickly I can get in & out of the Canonsburg location at lunch time when it is usually quite packed.  Quality/taste of the food aside, generally one goes to McDonald’s with convenience and speed being at the top of the priority list.

I was hoping to write back to you to tell you that I had been contacted by Ella Jones or someone else at the West Liberty Avenue location… but I cannot.  I didn’t want to wait too long in replying to you to say thanks.  Thanks for proving that all McDonald’s managers/owners/operators/customer service reps are not apathetic, and thanks for your involvement in perusing this customer service issue which is mostly unrelated to you!

I have also followed up via the contact form at the McDonald’s website, and with a Katy (@Kty_McD) via the McDonald’s Twitter Team.  Both to no avail thus far.  They must really have issues other than the obvious over in Beechview if they’re not even responding from other franchise owners or from a corporate push.  I can tell you that they have received my last dollar, no matter what the outcome.

I hope that no offense is taken when I say that you seem to operate more like a Chick-fil-A manager than a McDonald’s manager.  I hate to stereotype, but they generally have a more pleasant disposition as a fast food chain.  They also respond quickly and positively to customer service related emails.  They usually have quite the hands-on approach in special promotions every night of the week and the way things are run.

Your drive-thru traffic direction cones/poles are a great idea… I don’t know why they’re not standard issue in all split drive-thru locations.  It’s amazing that people would cut up and around.  Are they totally blind to the lines on the ground?  I’m always amazed at how some people think that they’re better than the rest of us, or the rules don’t apply to them.

I hope that you’re able to push the inside queue line issue with success in the future.  I certainly don’t see anything wrong with it.  It works for amusement parks, the bank, Wendy’s, & Burger King.  With the multiple entrances in your store, and with people standing back waiting for their orders to be filled, it can be quite confusing to know who’s next.

I will keep you posted on a resolution with store #5834 (if there ever is one), thank you for your time & effort!

-Eric

And then..

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by verizon.net

Eric,

Thanks again.  It amazes me because they would be all over us, (the operator) community if any complaints are not closed out.  I have placed a follow up email to  our business consultant.  One day, when I work my way up to president, I’ll have a direct line to my office.  I understand that everyone is busy, but at the end of the day, its the customers like you who put the pay in payday.  If I can ever assist you in the future, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,
Scott Kausky
General Manager

Scott is all over that!  I seriously wish him luck in is race to become McPresident, and I hope he gets those queue lines installed.  It keeps one grounded to know that your pay is ultimately coming from customer satisfaction.

Here’s the reply that we’ve all been waiting for (apparently it was emailed to my alternate email address on Thursday… still over 2 weeks after my original message):

From: Jones Ella <ella.jones@us.mcd.com>
To: World(andLunar)Domination <worldandlunardomination@yahoo.com>
Cc: “West Liberty (pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com)” <pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com>
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010
Subject: RE: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)

Hi Eric,

Thank you for taking the time to communicate about the West Liberty McDonald’s.    Something will be done about the Jiffy Lube.  We are waiting on a new tenant.  The building interior choice was made based on what some customers like.  I understand not all customers like it and your feedback will help McDonald’s as they plan to design other locations.  Thank you for the feedback.

We are working on the speed issues, the food quality issues, and the customer service issues at this location.  We have support coming in to help us become the “well oiled”  operation that we need to be.  Thank you for taking your time to point out our issues—this certainly helps us get better.

Sincerely,
Ella Jones

If you need a refresher, click here to read my original email to Ms. Jones.  (And note in the comments that others have had similar experiences there!)

I feel like Ms. Jones didn’t read past the Brady Bunch comment… although we did get a “well-oiled”  quote from the last paragraph.  I’d love to meet the focus group that liked the new McDonald’s layout/design.  Did they know it was for a McDoanld’s or did they think it was for a fruit stand in a 70’s movie?

  • There was no mention of the incorrect breakfast sandwich or explanation of how that happened.
  • There was no mention of the crazy double-drive-thru traffic patterns.
  • No mention of the Canonsburg store used as a good example.
  • No mention of the spongy rubbery egg-like substance.
  • No mention of the race for the “sloth” title with Wendy’s.
  • No mention of the ridiculous wait time or stress-induced customer telepathy.
  • No mention of the cardboard-like McNuggets.
  • No mention of what the nuggets contained before they were “all white meat”.
  • No mention of my admitting that I was wrong.

Are my emails too long-winded?  I guess I know the answer to that..  But still… if we’re getting into percentage of questions asked vs. questions answered (not even assigning a quality to the answer), we’re not even getting a passing grade here!

Id love to know just how many “you need to answer this email” emails that Ms. Jones received.  I encourage you to also write if you’ve had a bad experience there. It would be even better if you share it with us.  I’d love to post other letters of dissatisfaction.

I’m guessing that my pressing the issue further really isn’t going to get me anywhere.  She doesn’t seem like the type to comment on the spongy rubbery egg stuff or mystery meat McNuggets.  It will be interesting to see if orange cones appear in the drive-thru down there.

Perhaps one day they will actually get their act together.  I bet not, but perhaps.

McTweeting

Posted on by Standard 2

So, I have another avenue for contacting (or nagging) the apathetic McFoodChain down the street.  Not only can I email them directly (albeit to no avail so far), submit a tattle-tale on a corporate level (also to no avail so far), & email their fellow managers.  I can tweet them.  McDonald’s has a Twitter Team.

Still not hearing from the local MdDud of a management and/or customer service team in Beechview, I reached out again in a more attention-grabbing manner:

@McDonaldsFans Any thoughts on these #Pittsburgh area #McDonald‘s locations? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@kim_mcd @George_McD @McCafeYourDay @McDonalds Any thought on how this McDonadl’s should be handled, #McDonaldsFans? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@Nick_McD How would you handle the drive-thru & queue situation(s) here? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

Hello, @AboutMcDonalds! Do these company policies sound correct? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@yilovemcdonalds This is a reason to love http://wp.me/pwqzc-in this is a reason to hate http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX They need to get it together!

And, then I got a DM from @AboutMcDonalds:

AboutMcDonalds Hi – yes, our customer sat team should respond to you w/in 24 hrs. Thx for checking. ^LM

Yes.  They should, but they didn’t.  Apparently AboutMcDonalds is missing the point.  But, they’re not following me, so I couln’t DM them back. Another public tweet:

@AboutMcDonalds Got your DM, couldn’t send one back. What happens if they don’t respond? What about the greater issue?

No answer on that one. So, a few more…

#icantstop laughing at #mcdonalds http://wp.me/pwqzc-in & http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX — They need to get it together! @CocaCola

@McDonalds Is this a good representation of the average McDonald’s? http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX Or is this more like it? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@George_McD Is this a good representation of the average McDonald’s? http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX Or is this more like it? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

#icantstop laughing at #mcdonalds http://wp.me/pwqzc-in & http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX – They need to get it together over at @McDonalds in @15216!

RT @NathanFillion Dear McDonalds, U are poisoning the world with yr food & thx 4 a delicious breakfast. I hate you. http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX

While a lot of my tweets directly to the McTwitter Team went unanswered, someone that I didn’t even message directly seemed to have caught a theme to my tewwets. Katie (Kty_McD) did seem to pickup on my frustration.

Kty_McD @W_a_L_D Hey, I saw the blog/tweets can you follow me so that I am able to DM you? Thanks, Katie from McD’s

You read my blog?  Score!  Ha ha ha.  Again with the DM’s…

Kty_McD Great! Ill do everything I can to help, I read the blogs, but to be sure store #05834 is the one you haven’t heard from correct?

W_a_L_D Correct! The one on West Liberty Ave. in Beechview (Pittsburgh, PA 15216) Thanks in advance!

Kty_McD Thanks for that info, I have the case number pulled, email still the best way to reach you?

W_a_L_D Yes please, thanks! world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com – You rock!!!

Kty_McD Thanks so much for tweeting out to me, I reached out to that store, please let me know if you don’t get a response. Have a great weekend : )

W_a_L_D I appreciate the response from you, but I’m not holding my breath for their reaction!

…and thus ends the twitversation so far, bringing us all up to date.  Still no response from Ms. Ella Jones (or anyone else from) McDonald’s #5834.  I do feel like I need to write back to Mr. Kausky though.  He deserves to know that he has my utmost respect, and that I still have yet to hear from the McDud in my neighborhood.

I’d like to send a big sarcastic “good job” to @AboutMcDonalds for dropping the subject like a hot potato (unless it was passed on via you or you’re the same person as @Kty_McD and that’s how her attention was brought to me), and especially to @McDonalds, @McDonaldsFans, @kim_mcd, @George_McD, @McCafeYourDay, @Nick_McD, & @yilovemcdonalds for not even responding to my direct tweets.

McSatisfaction

Posted on by Standard 8

So, have you read my “day in the life of McDonald’s #5834” blog yet?  If not, read that one first, or this will make absolutely no sense.  Not that there was much sense to start with.

In that email, I mentioned the McDonald’s in Canonsburg with a similar drive-thru setup as an example of how things ought to be run.  Apparently you can’t always assume that people are going to do the right thing when waiting in line or following lines painted on the ground are concerned.  Heh, that is so ridiculous, I need to copy & paste it for effect.

Apparently you can’t always assume that people are going to do the right thing when waiting in line or following lines painted on the ground are concerned.

McDonald's on Urbanspoon Done laughing?  OK, let’s move on.  There is someone who works for McDonald’s that gives a damn.  He is the manager of the McDonald’s that also serves as a memorial to Perry Como, Bobby Vinton, and the Four Coins.  Mr. Scott Kausky not only took the time to write back to me once, but twice… and get this… both replies came in the same day of my email to him!

This man is to be applauded for his efforts.  I’m waiting.  Please.  Clap.

OK, first, my note to him…

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2010
To: skausky33@verizon.net
Subject: Fwd: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)

Hello Mr. Kausky,

I would like to thank you for the inclusion of your email address at the top of your McDonald’s receipts.  It is a policy that your brothers-in-franchise at the McDonald’s in Beechview on West Liberty Avenue have recently adopted.  Sadly, though, for them it is useless.  I have written to them over a week ago, to no avail.  I believe that they’re beyond reach via email… or that they just really don’t care about customer satisfaction.  I hope that’s not the case with you!

The reason I’m writing to you is that I mentioned your restaurant in my email to them as an example of how to operate… and wanted to hear your thoughts on the issue.  Pehaps you can review the email below and come up with a few ideas.

Do you have any contact with the managers at that location?  Perhaps you can be the Jedi Master to their Padawan.

Thank you in advance for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!

-Eric

…which was of course followed by the original email.

His 1st reply…

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
reply-to skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 21, 2010
subject Re: Fwd: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by srs.bis.na.blackberry.com

Eric

Its unfortunately the store I operate is privately owned. I have pride in the store that I run and this is why I provide my email address. The email get sent directly to my blackberry that I pay for. This is not something that is provided by my operator or McDonald. I care about my customers as they are the ones who pay my check and when I have unsatisfied guests it affects my bottom line as well as my crew.

Mcdonalds.com will also have a guest satisfaction email as well as a 800 number which should get you to someone that is involved with that particular location. Once a complaint or praise is posted it is then emailed to the operator or supervisor of that location and they should respond within 24 hours. This is the policy mcdonalds enforces on the private owner stores. I also copied your email to the owner of my store to see if he can get you in contact with the appropriate person.

I apologize that your having these problems and will assist you to try to fix it.

Thanks for being a loyal mcdonalds customer.

Scott Kausky

His 2nd reply…

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 21, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by verizon.net

Eric,

I have to apologize again, when reading your email, my blackberry only showed half of your email  I’m at home now and read the full thing.  I have also copied Linda Cumer, who is my business consultant.  She is paid by McDonald’s Corporation.  She will have better contact then anyone to work on resolving these issues.  In reference to the traffic cones, I appreciate the fact that you like the ideas.  I had a customer a month ago give me an hour lecture on why I should eliminate them.  I made the decision to have them in place to keep the cars lined up.  I would also install a q line like you see at an amusement park to keep the same thing happening on the inside with guests who try to cut lines, but was told I wasn’t allowed.  I hope I have assisted you and us to get these problems corrected.  Please let me know either way if someone does or doesn’t contact you because I want the Arches to shine even if I do only have a small role in it.

Thanks Again,

Scott Kausky
General Manager

Genius.

Mr. Kausky is obviously intelligent, thoughtful, and full of great ideas.  He ought to be working for Chick-fil-A!  I can excuse the somewhat confusing email via Blackberry, and hs ignoring my Star Wars reference.

Why shouldn’t there be lines like in the bank (or Burger King or Wendy’s) so that the actual next person is next, not the a-hole who cut in front of them?

I really can’t express my drive-thru complaints successfully unless you’ve ever been to that type of drive through.  I really need to work on some illustrations to convey the full extent of my frustration.  The customer that wanted the cones removed is an assclown.  The only reason he  (or she) would want them removed is so he (or she) could cut in front of others in line.  What makes him (or her) so special?  Does he (or she) also park in handicapped spaces?  I bet he (or she) does.  I would like to hear just one rational reason for their removal.  I bet it can’t be found.

Of course, these only touch on the host of problems at the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s.

This guy wants it resolved though, as a true honest-to-goodness hard worker with a correctly aligned set of values where it comes to running a business and how to treat people.  I started this off on a goofy note, but hate to mess with this guy… he really wants an issue resolved.  And now, dammit, so do I.  He explained his point of view, his situation, and told me that he was forwarding the message to two separate individuals to try and see if he can get something resolved that doesn’t affect him in any way whatsoever.  Scott Kausky is a champion among men, I tell you.

Honestly, up until this point I saw it going nowhere.  I mean, did you see the comments on my other post?  No one gets good service there, ever has, or most likely ever will.

We have, however, learned some invaluable and interesting corporate mantras from the big McD.  Did anyone else find these statements to stand out?

  • “Once a complaint or praise is posted it is then emailed to the operator or supervisor of that location and they should respond within 24 hours. This is the policy mcdonalds enforces on the private owner stores.” –  O, RLY? Hmm.  They definitely didn’t meet that.  We’re going on 336 hours pretty soon here.  So that McDonald’s is poorly run on a whole bunch of different levels.
  • “I would also install a q line like you see at an amusement park to keep the same thing happening on the inside with guests who try to cut lines, but was told I wasn’t allowed.” Wasn’t allowed? Ridiculous.  The general manager doesn’t have the power to create order out of chaos in his own restaurant?  McNazis, I tell you.  I’ve been there at lunch time.  This would improve the line situation immensely… especially with multiple entrances.  McCorporate McChaos.  Shame on you, McDonald’s, for keeping this man down.  To me, this says McDonald’s doesn’t care if people cut in line, if you’re aggrivated, or cheated.  You don’t matter.  Just your money does.

So, today we have learned some things.  We already knew that the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s hates you.  We learned that McDonald’s is overbearing and into micro-management as a general attitude.  We know now that certain stores have a blind eye turned on them, as any semblance of corporate monitoring would have them completely overhauled and/or shut down.

Most importantly, we learned that there is at least one last good man working for the McDonald’s corporation who has a strong identity with the cherished Golden Arches, and wants you to respect that identity.

Now, I really can’t wait to see where this goes form here.