This past Christmas when we had the family over for a holiday dinner, I decided to try & make some scalloped potatoes. I found a ton of recopies online, and took what I liked from some & what I liked from others and put them all together… leaving out the stuff I didn’t like. They turned out really well, to the compliments of everyone. The only problem is that I didn’t write down what I did… so I had no idea when I went to make them again for an Easter dinner yesterday. Last time, like everyone in the kitchen, I kept adding stuff until the sauce looked & tasted just right.
Friday night, I pulled out the same printed recipes from last time…. made sure we had most of the stuff here & popped what I needed on to the grocery list. This time I wrote down what went into it, but I may have the portions off… Where I have “cup” or “Tablespoon”, I may have just dumped some stuff in by eye.
People have asked how I made them, so I’ll try writing it out coherently here. I’ll add that my wife, Bethany, washed & cut the potatoes while I made the sauce… which was invaluable… because the sauce needed to be watched, and cut potatoes that sit for any period of time get all brown. I guess I could have cut them & put them in some cold water to halt the browning if I absolutely had to… but we get along well in the kitchen, and it’s nice to cook together sometimes. (I offered for her to do the sauce & to put me on potato duty, but she declined in case the cause didn’t turn out well, the blame could go solely on me.)
Eric’s Decadent Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes:
Ingredients:
5 lb. bag of russet potatoes
2 cups shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese (I buy the stuff in bags, this is 1 small bag.)
2 cups shredded Colby & Monterey Jack Cheese (The store brand was 2 bags for $5 I think.)
1 pint (2 cups / 16 fl. oz.) heavy cream
1½ cups buttermilk
1 stick (8 Tbsp.) butter
½ cup Parmesan cheese
4 Tbsp. flour
4 Tbsp. corn starch
Salt/Pepper/Season All to taste
1 tsp minced garlic (I used the stuff minced & put in olive oil, in little jars)
2 Tbsp. sour cream
2 Tbsp. Miracle Whip or mayonnaise… (or 1 Tbsp. Each!)
1 sm. bag bacon bits
bread crumbs (or crackers)
Stuff:
potato scrubber
cutting board
knife
9″ x 13″ glass baking dish
sauce pan
spoon and/or wisk
large bowl (if you’re gonna soak the potatoes)
measuring cup & spoons
aluminum foil
hot pads
oven
stove top
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350°.
Wash & slice the potatoes, store in cold water if you have to so they don’t brown… or have someone do that while you…
Grease a 9 x 13 glass baking dish with the stick of butter. Melt the rest of the butter on medium heat in a saucepan.
Add the flour & corn starch to the butter to make a roux.
Turn it down to low heat, & slowly stir in the cream, buttermilk, sour cream, & mayo/Miracle Whip. Stir like a madman.
Add the bacon bits, garlic, Parmesan cheese, and salt/pepper/spices to taste. Don’t forget to stir.
Add about half of each kind of shredded cheese to the mix, keep stirring like a madman.
Pull the sauce from the heat, keep stirring… add a little to the bottom of the baking dish.
Later potatoes, sauce, & remaining shredded cheese… saving a nice amount of shredded cheese for the top.
Cover with foil, bake at 350° for an hour.
Pull it out, uncover, top with bread crumbs or crumbled up crackers, add some additional seasoning if so inclined, and pop it back in for another 15 minutes.
Well, there you have it. Pretty simple, and nothing makes me happier than cheese & potatoes. I noticed a lot of scalloped potato recipes don’t have cheese, but really… where’s the fun in that? Some also used a cream of chicken or cream of potato soup… makes it too much like White Trash ‘Taters for me. You may want to skip the breading, use chips or those crispy canned fried onions. Everyone has their own thing that they dig. Yukon Gold potatoes would make this really nice, probably wouldn’t need to cook as long…red potatoes might make it bitey… A mix may be nice. As far as the spices, I used coarse ground black pepper, I think some dry mustard, paprika, and some McKormick Season All.
The other night, the wife & I were on a grocery gathering trip to the new Giant Eagle Market District in Robinson, which has an awesomely clean & new interior, helpful friendly employees, and really nice prices. (I got a Giant Eagle brand ham for just 99¢/lb.!) That’s the inside of the store.
On the outside of the store… the crosswalks are clearly marked (although wholly ignored by the Yinzers), there are nice sidewalks in between rows of the parked cars so you don’t have to walk down the driving lane (but people do anyway), and there are many many places to return your shopping carts. This is the one that prompted me to write. I took the following photo with my cell phone…
ABANDON THY BUGGIES, ALL YE WHO EXIT!
What is wrong with you, people? Is it that hard to walk the cart back up the the front of the store, or to the nearest cart return? Is this driven by arrogance or laziness? Are you too good to take the cart back up? Too important? Your time to valuable? Are you too lazy?
I get that the Market District employees should also be trolling the lot looking for these things to clean up… but if the Yinzers had any common decency, this wouldn’t happen in the first place. Shame on you, this is how the pace will start its eventual slide donwhill until it’s just another crappy grocery store with employees who don’t care and customers that look like they rolled in some dirt before getting up & going inside. Take some pride in your city and the businesses in it, you dumb Yinzers.
Death Taco. No, that’s not the coolest new metal or grindcore band, although maybe it should be. It’s what I’m (of course) calling the newest Taco Bell menu item. I have had some inquires as to why I hadn’t mentioned it yet.
Well, I did make a faint mention via Facebook or Twitter a while ago, but had declined to rant here as I’ve been relentlessly trying to contact Taco Bell. You know how successful webforms are, so of course I got no answer from that, then I fished around for email addresses to send a full email, bugged them via Twitter for an address, and even posted an Ask Yahoo! question. Out of nowhere, I finally received a reply, and I have no idea if it was in reply to the webform, my emails to random Yum! Brands and Taco Bell email addresses, or some other forum.
I’d like to share my original messages with you. First the one via webform:
Hola, mis amigos de Titan Taco! Firstly, this isn’t about an incident at a specific Taco Bell, but the form didn’t allow room for general inquiries. I’d like to express my disappointment with a commercial that I saw advertising new shrimp tacos. Well, I guess my disappointment is not with the commercial, but with the product… and the main ingredient. I don’t think I can express my thoughts in a box with a mere 500-character limit. Do you have an actual email address where I can contact someone?
From: ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> Date: Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 4:11 PM Subject: Taco Fail To: webmaster@tacobell.com (and a bunch of other addresses)
Hola, mis amigos de Titan Taco!
I’d like to express my disappointment with a commercial that I saw advertising new shrimp tacos. Well, I guess my disappointment is not with the commercial, but with the product… and the main ingredient.
I have a severe shellfish allergy, and Taco Bell has been a shellfish-free dining safe haven for me for years. It’s one of the few places where I never had to worry about shrimp, crab, lobster, oysters, etc. ending up in my food, or worse yet… crossing paths in the kitchen somewhere.
I will sadly have to cross Taco Bell off of my list of places to dine… but I’d like you to know that there are many of us out here with severe shellfish allergies who have an increasingly difficult time finding safe places to dine out. Fast food joints have long been a safe-haven for those of us with a shellfish allergy… as most fine dining and now even chain family style restaurants have several shellfish dishes prepared on multiple kitchen surfaces. Formerly, as long as I stayed away from Long John Silver’s, I was OK. Taco Bell, KFC, McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A, …were all safe places.
I guess I’ll now have to get my quick Mexican fix at Qdoba or Chipotle.
If you’d like to know what it’s like to dine out with a shellfish allergy, please read this blog post.
Here’s an excerpt…
If you know me in person, have dined out with me, or have ready any of my lunacy online… you most likely know what I have a severe shellfish allergy. What does that mean exactly? Well, it means that I can’t eat any shellfish, or I go into anaphylactic shock. Not only can I not eat the shellfish (that’s crustaceans & molluscs including but not limited to ,shrimp, prawns, lobster, crab, crayfish, oysters, mussels, clams, scallops, octopi, squid, snails, and probably even scorpions and pill bugs), but I can’t eat any food that comes into contact with it. That means, if you cook shrimp on the grill, take it off, and put my steak on without washing the surface, it’s the same as me eating the shrimp.
I certainly can’t expect the restaurant to clean the grill in between every meal, as that’s certainly not productive on their end… I just usually try to see where the shellfish is prepared, and eat from another cooking surface. That seems easy enough, right?
I get that it’s my responsibility. Yes, I’ve had an epi pen. But I’d really love to not ever have the need to use one. I’ve even considered getting Allergy Cards, but they seem a little pretentious or something… like my verbal reminder isn’t enough.
Well, getting me in to a place with shellfish is an issue in itself. Why? Well in with the aforementioned cooking surface issue…
I hope that this helps explain what people like me go through, and I hope that you re-consider selling death-filled tacos!
Running from the border,
-Eric
And, this is the reply, although I’m not sure if it’s the reply to one of the above messages, or in poking around on Twitter:
From: Poetsch, Rob (Public Relations) <Rob.Poetsch@yum.com> Date: Wed, Mar 31, 2010 at 7:30 PM Subject: Pacific Shrimp Taco Inquiry To: “world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> Cc: “Hunsaker, Brittany (Contractor)” <Brittany.Hunsaker@yum.com>
Dear Eric,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us about Shellfish allergens concerning our new Pacific Shrimp Tacos. We want you to know that we take these matters very seriously and that the business of our customers is our top priority. We value loyal customers such as yourself and would like to take the opportunity to win your business back.
To , to our customers who might have Shellfish allergens, we have displayed information at multiple locations in our fish. These include Shrimp allergen signs that are placed on our window and door clings as well as in our ads where orders are taken. While the Pacific Shrimp Tacos are offered for a limited time only, all Taco Bell employees have been trained and certified to not have any food products come in contact with Fish and Shellfish during cooking and/or serving.
We would like to send you some Taco Bell Bucks as a token of our thanks, so please email me back with your mailing address. We hope you will continue to “Think Outside the Bun” at Taco Bell, and appreciate you taking the time to write to us.
Sincerely,
Rob Poetsch
Taco Bell Public Relations
Rob Poetsch
Taco Bell Corp.
One Glen Bell Way
Irvine, CA 92618
O: 949-863-3915
F: 949-863-2252
rob.poetsch@tacobell.com
Of course, I needed to reply:
From: ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Apr 1, 2010 at 5:15 PM Subject: Re: Pacific Shrimp Taco Inquiry To: “Poetsch, Rob (Public Relations)” <Rob.Poetsch@yum.com> Cc: “Hunsaker, Brittany (Contractor)” <Brittany.Hunsaker@yum.com>
Hello Rob,
Thank you for the reply! I was beginning to wonder if Taco Bell has a stand on the issue. While I am pleased to hear about the allergen warning signs along with the employee training and certification, I must say that I still have some reservations about safety. I am relieved to hear that the shrimp tacos are available for a limited time only.
It is great that you take responsibility in posting signs about allergy warnings. Your fellow Yum! Brands organization, Pizza Hut, ought to take note. They display allergen information on their website, noting that the pizza sauce may come into contact with shellfish… but there’s no shellfish on the menu. When I asked where the contamination may occur (e.g. in the processing/canning facility?) they were unable (or I sadly suspect unwilling) to provide a detailed response.
Back to the subject of Taco Bell… the giant window-clings showing what I’m sure to many is a succulent appetizing piece of shrimp spilling out of a lovely soft taco shell looks to me like a giant Mr. Yuck sticker or the old-time skull & cross-bones “poison” logo that you’d see in cartoons. They serve as an effective if not spine-chilling reminder as to the presence of shellfish allergens on the premises. They would also kick my survival instincts into gear, not even letting me enter the presence. Seriously. I would wager that right now, it would be pretty difficult to physically get me into a Taco Bell restaurant. My Eustachian tubes are starting to itch just thinking about it. I realize that this is also a highly personal mental health issue, but one that ought not be taken lightly, as it’s grounded in a very real fear.
Recently I read the blog of a man who almost died when he ordered a vegetarian Indian potato curry dish that he was assured was safe. Apparently the dish was flavored with a shrimp brine… which ought to be disturbing to vegetarians, vegans, kosher folks, and people with shellfish allergies. This is alarming to say the least. I realize that simple cross-contamination may not seem as serious as flavoring an entire dish with shrimp-juice, but I can assure you that it is indeed just as deadly. Our friends with wheat/gluten and peanut allergies seem to get a lot of attention lately, hopefully it will spill over to the rest of us with the “big 8” and those who aren’t even covered by that umbrella.
Have you taken the allergen training, or do you know what’s involved? I am finding it hard to tactfully express my concerns about the way that the message was conveyed to Taco Bell employees and the actual willingness of the employees to understand and comply. We’ve all watched training videos on various subjects and rolled our eyes, promptly taken pamphlets and placed them in the trash, or been angered when someone who doesn’t do our job gives us a new or added process that we must adhere to when we’re sure that the person suggesting the changes has never been in our shoes.
While I mean no disrespect to Taco Bell or any fast food restaurant, have you been to a Taco Bell lately? Sometimes I am concerned about the personal hygiene and motivation of the employees let alone the cleanliness and efficiency of the kitchen. Sadly, the low quality and poor service of fast food establishments has become a passively accepted facet of 21st Century life in the United States. For evidence, I give you the term “McJob“.
I have a theory that for so long now, it has been expressed to kids everywhere to get higher education so you don’t end up as a laborer, janitor, or fast food employee… that fast food jobs have garnered such a negative connotation, the only people left willing to take the jobs are the highly unmotivated individuals, people with no other options, or people using the part time jobs for extra cash with no real pride in their work since there’s no real fear of losing the job or striving to move up the chain of command.
I would invite you to imagine that in the Taco Bell kitchen where you are about to dine there are the standard (and innovative!) sour cream and cheese caulking-gun looking dispensers all loaded on the food preparation area… along side a caulking-gun-looking dispenser filled with a highly toxic pest-control chemical that looks interestingly enough like cheese or sour cream. Would you still feel safe in eating there? Sure. The employees can read. Sure, they know the difference. Are they ever rushed in a fast food kitchen? Do mistakes ever happen? Of course. I’m guessing you would at least think twice or watch closely before you dine.
I understand that this scenario is preposterous because I would hope that some sort of federal regulations would forbid any toxic chemicals from being stored in a food preparation area. No such federal regulations exist for people like me, although Massachusetts is moving forward with this type of thing.
While I trust that your training an certification was put forth with the best of intentions, you must understand that I question its implementation, practicality, and how it’s received and practiced by what amounts to be the first line of contact with your customers… the Taco Bell team member. What exactly does the certification say? Does each employee have it, or does a certification apply to an entire restaurant or shift?
I challenge you to quiz the workers at Taco Bells in various locations… inner city, suburbs, malls, and the combo units, and see how much the workers really know about cross-contamination and allergy issues and how they’re observed in a Taco Bell kitchen. (Hopefully, they fare better than Subway employees.)
All that said, I appreciate and applaud the considerable thought and effort that has already gone into allergen awareness. Spreading knowledge is the first step. Did you know that May 9th-15th 2002 is the thirteenth annual Food Allergy Awareness Week? Now is the time to act and inform, my friend!
I would certainly appreciate some Taco Bell Bucks, if you’ll understand that I may hold on to them until well after the current Pacific Shrimp Taco promotion is over. (Pending reviews, it may not last all that long, eh?) Taco Bell had previously been a shellfish-free Mexican-ish fast food haven for me for many many years. I can’t tell you how many tacos I ate at the mall nearby to where I grew up when I was a teenager. A dollar went much further at Taco Bell than it did at McDonald’s, Burger King or anywhere else in the food court.
My address is…
Eric Aixelsyd
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pittsburgh, PA XXXXX-XXXX
I would like to thank you once again for your time and the thoughtful informative reply. I look forward to perhaps what may be a continued dialog about allergy awareness issues in the fast food industry, and more specifically relating to Taco Bell and other Yum! Brands.
A while ago, I blogged about stumbling on to an article listing 6 ways too cook a hot dog. We all know there’s more. Here’s a much better list. OK, maybe not better… but bigger. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions submissions here and on Facebook, I hope to include them all here.
Oh well, on to the list…
Grill ’em.The general consensus seems to be that if you’re going to cook a hot dog, it needs to be grilled. I would agree with this. I usually don’t break out hot dogs unless I’m already grilling burgers. They’re there for those weird non-burger people, or a topping for your burger.
Charcoal Grill – This is old school grilling, get it hot let the flames & coals cook the dog with some nice grill lines or looking like the victim of a flame-thrower accident. There are good instructions on grilling w/ gas & charcoal here(as if you need them).
Propane Grill – It’s a little easier to control the heat, & you’re less likely to produce the same flame-thrower victim effect if you keep an eye on ’em. There are also good instructions on grilling w/ gas & charcoal here(again, as if you need them).
Foreman Grill– Or any of the imitators & whatever they’re called. I’ve seen a Hamilton Beach one, I’ve seen them called electric grills, counter-top grills, whatever… you know what I’m talking about. I’ve had little success with the Foreman Grill & hot dogs… which is odd, because it cooks other stuff quite easily. Here’s a video on how to cook ’em on the Foreman Grill, …because I can’t find good text for it anywhere. They don’t list a time for hot dogs in the book that comes with it. Maybe they assume their grill is for convenience, and it’s more convenient to nuke or boil your dogs. If anyone has $99 to spare, I’ll take the USB iGrill from Think Geek.
Infrared Grill – I know nothing about this newfangled contraption. It looks like you can burn a hot dog in 0.5 seconds on one. Learn about infrared grills at Wikipedia.
Griddle/Flattop Grill – If you have one in your house, you are awesome. You can certainly cook a hot dog on one, and don’t need me to tell you how.
Open Flame.Who doesn’t love hot dogs (or anything really) cooked over a campfire? …Or a bonfire, trash barrel fire, or while the neighbor’s house is burning down? With these methods, You can also wrap the dog with biscuit or croissant dough from those creepy popping tubes, and it will cook nicely over an open flame. If you want to get really crazy, slice it down the middle & stuff cheese in it, or wrap some cheese around it before the dough.
Skewer – We use roasting forks or or just sticks. You can get the forks at any sporting goods or camping store, in a store that has a camping section, or in a store near your camping site. You can get sticks in the woods, or from a lone, sad tree. You can also get inventive, like this guy. Be careful choosing sticks and being inventive… you don’t want anything that will poison your hot dog… like toxic wood, metal treated or painted with anything, and of course plastic. I can’t seem to find a guide online of safe & unsafe tree branches to use when cooking over a fire. Anyone have a boy scout handbook? (I asked Yahoo!, apparently nothing out there will kill you, but stick with a non-sappy wood.) With this method, get your fire going, and hold the hot dog over it… but not in the flame unless you like black crispy possibly carcinogen-laced hot dogs. If using a store-bought fork, it’s up to you if you want to put the dog on long-ways, or double/triple ’em up the forks.
Pie Iron – If you’ve camped with me, you’ve cooked with a pie iron… or you’ve watched me cook with one. My favorites include pizza ones, and Reubens… but I’m sure you could stuff a hot dog into one. They also have ones that are shaped to cook hot dogs. This would most likely result in a nicely cooked dog without the singe marks, maybe flavored with some onions (gross!) or sauerkraut. If you’re buying a pie iron, buy one made of… iron. This sounds dumb, but they make aluminum ones, and I have melted them with no problem. I don’t think you want aluminum flavored hot dogs.
The Cage – Burger basket, grill basket, vegetable basket – all different names for a similar utensil. I’d use it like I would a fork for hot-dog cooking… may be sort of useless unless you have a burger in it too.
The Rack – If you can find some sort of rack or grate that you can secure safely over the fire that’s also safe to cook on, you can cook like it’s a charcoal grill if you’re more comfortable with that. Just make sure the flame isn’t eating your hot dog before you do.
Foil Pack – You could use the bread dough & any toppings/sides here as well. Wrap the dog & even the bun in foil, and place it on a grate over the flames, or in the coals around the bottom of the fire like you would with a baked potato.
Oven Burner – That’s right. Pit it on a fork or roasting fork, and hold it over the flame on your stove top. This might not be safe, but I bet it would be fun.
Boiled – I’m sure you’ve all had ’em like this. I think it even suggests to heat ’em this way on the pack. I’m not a fan of boiling anything any more, unless it’s soup or pasta. It just seems like a lot of flavor goes into the water… and where hot dogs are concerned, it’s not like you have a lot to work with to begin with. I’d suggest boiling hot dogs in beer, even though I’ve never tried it… it sounds pretty awesome. You can even get crazy with beer, ketchup, and brown sugar. Maybe some beef broth or bullion would be cool here too… but that may make ’em to salty? I dunno. Boil at your own risk.
Nuke ’em – I guess that besides grilling, this would seem to be the most obvious method of cooking hot dogs. On the last pack we bought, this method was featured larger than the other methods. Just 30 – 40 seconds in the microwave … wrapped in a paper towel? I never use the paper towel. Is that to hold in moisture, prevent explosions, or what? Apparetly there’s an art to this, because I have found the articles How to Cook a Hot Dog in a Microwave and the possible passive-aggressive How to Cook a Hot Dog in the Microwave Without Exploding the Ends. As I write this, I have an urge to make some hot dogs explode in the microwave. I may be developing a disorder.
Lovin’ from the Oven – You can certainly cook hot dogs in the oven, you may split ’em open or poke them with a fork first. This method would be ideal for the croissant-wrapped hot dogs, smothered in some awesome cheese. Just make sure if you use the 1st linked method, that you put the foil in the oven before you heat it up (like they so diligently mentioned)… or don’t do that, burn yourself, and stay off of the internet.
Deep Fried – They call these Rippers in New Jersey, no? I don’t have a fryer… but I suppose I could do this in a pot on the stove, or in my turkey fryer. I’ve never had one, but I’d imagine it’s a pretty good thing. Corn dogs could be lumped in here too, I guess.
Steamed – This seems to be a popular method, but I know I’ve never done it, or really seen it done. I guess there are commercial steam cabinets for hot dogs… but I bet you could steam it like you do with vegetables if you have a steamer. Perhaps, like boiling… you could steam it with beer…?
In the Skillet. – Or frying pan. Just fry it on the stove top with a little bit of oil. I guess you could slice it open first if you wanted to, so it doesn’t pop on you. Or, you can elevate it to an art form.
In Stuff – Okay this isn’t one specific method, but I didn’t feel like all of these should have their own #’s on the list. You know you’ve chopped ’em up and added them to baked beans, mac n’ cheese, or even done a hot dog & potato bake. Here I’ll also inject that I once got the SpaghettiOs with hot dogs. They were inexplicably gross. This is your final warning.
Goofy Single-Purpose Appliances – I have hot dogs only occasionally. I can’t imagine getting one of these hot dog cookers that serves only one purpose. Our counter-space is quite limited.. and I can’t see that breaking one of these things out would be worth the novelty after more than a few uses…
The Hot Dog Toaster – Besides looking creepy, these also apparently cook hot dogs. It looks to be just a toaster with hot dog-shaped holes and bun-shaped holes. I wonder if it really cooks the thing through very well? May be quite convenient.
Solar Hot Dog Cooker – This might be fun for campers or science geeks. Solar ovens are pretty awesome, this one and this one are especially geared for hot dogs… this onemight work.
The Roller – These apparently come in several varieties, but all look to be the same concept… Cooked on rollers like the ones you see at the convenience stores. Brookstone makes one, there are a bunch of professional ones, and Nostalgia Electrics offers the Roller & “Ferris Wheel” varieties.
The “Roast My Weenie” guy – More of an accessory, this really just needs to be seen.
Electrocute it – My cousin told me a tale via Facebook of a hot dog cooker for electric chair, taser, and Tesla enthusiasts… called the Presto Hot Dogger. Mad scientists can try it at home with a few things from around the house. This actually looks pretty awesome. This vintage one looks like a torture device.
Well, those are all the methods I can think of right now. Well, other than going to Sheetz or Dormont Dogs… you should be able to get your hot dog fix by one of the methods described here. If you have another technique, please list it in the comments below!
I’m told that means “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or more accurately “Blessings of St. Patrick’s Day upon ye!”. I hope that’s right. Today, we celebrate Irish heritage. How the holiday’s become that, I have no idea. I’d like to share with you some Irish toasts, blessing, song, & food. If you’re not of Irish descent, well… we’ll forgive for just one day. As long as you forgive me for skipping the Guinness and sticking to the Smithwick’s.
Irish toasts & blessings…
A family of Irish birth will argue and fight,
But let a shout come from without and see them all unite.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
An Irishman is never drunk
as long as he can hold on to
one blade of grass and not
fall off the face of the earth.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
Bless your little Irish heart — and every other Irish part.
From the great Gales of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry
And all their songs are sad.
Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend.
The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful.
Here’s to you and yours,
And to mine and ours,
And if mine and ours ever come
Across you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours,
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!
Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here’s to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
I have known many,
and liked not a few,
but loved only one
and this toast is to you.
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May neighbours respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.
May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards us.
May the good saints protect you
And bless you today
And may troubles ignore you
Each step of the way
May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.
May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty.
May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all the Irish angels,
Smile upon you on St. Patrick’s Day.
May the lilt of Irish laughter Lighten every load,
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road,
May you taste the sweetest pleasures That fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road…
And may all your friends remember
All the favours you are owed!
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, “this drink’s on me.”
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.
And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!
May you have food and raiment,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be forty years in heaven
before the devil knows you’re dead.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
the foresight to know where you’re going,
and the insight to know when you’ve gone too far.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.
May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.
May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent.
May you never find trouble
All crowdin’ and shovin’
But always good fortune
All smilin’ and lovin’
May you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
May your home be filled with laughter
May your pockets be filled with gold
And may you have all the happiness
Your Irish heart can hold.
May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
May your troubles be less
And your blessing be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
My friends are the best friends
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
That the tap may be open when it rusts!
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking!
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me. … Slainte!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May the strength of three be in your journey.
May the sound of happy music, And the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.
Here’s to me, and here’s to you,
And here’s to love and laughter-
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head-
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
May you have love that never ends,
lots of money, and lots of friends.
Health be yours, whatever you do,
and may God send many blessings to you!
May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
May you have:
A world of wishes at your command.
God and his angels close to hand.
Friends and family their love impart,
and Irish blessings in your heart!
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.
For each petal on the shamrock.
This brings a wish your way
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
May the embers from the open hearth warm your hands,
May the sun’s rays from the Irish sky warm your face,
May the children’s bright smiles warm your heart,
May the everlasting love I give you warm your soul.
May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks,
May your heart be as light as a song,
May each day bring you bright, happy hours,
That stay with you all the year long.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now,
And bless you evermore.
May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye,
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye,
An long life t’ yer honor-
That’s the end of my song t’ ye!
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do.
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow.
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
May your troubles be less,
And your blessing be more.
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door.
And some Irish song…
This one’s from Seamus Kennedy, you need to check him out if he’s ever on tour in a pub or a festival near you!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
I got 3 of these bad boys, entitling me to a whole 35¢ off of one Totino’s product. One dollar and five cents off of three Totino’s products? I’m sure I get more than that when I use my Giant Eagle Advantage Card & get them on a regular sale. Maybe Giant Eagle will double these since they’re less than a dollar… So I’ll be getting $2.10 worth of free pizza rolls. I wonder what the regular price is?
Right now, Giant Eagle has Totino’s Pizza Rolls on sale… 3 boxes for $8. They say they’re normally 3 for $10. So… About 40 rolls in the 19.8 oz. bag, 35¢ would get me 4 pizza rolls? And, I’d only be able to use one coupon with this special, as the Giant Eagle website states that you must buy 3 bags in order to get the $2 off, and the back of the coupon states that no other coupon is to be used with this coupon. Does the sale act as a coupon? If not, I could still only use the one coupon at a time… so out of 120 pizza rolls, a whopping 4 would be free?
Perhaps this was a karmic slap in the face? Maybe a well-deserved one. You’d think they would simply either not offer any coupons at all… or offer some coupons that are actually worth something… like a BOGO or at least a dollar off. Perhaps they’re just cheap, or this is all they’re authorized to give out? It cost them 38¢ to mail me the damn coupons! That would have been 4 or 5 more free pizza rolls had they emailed me some coupons. Maybe they know I’m goofing on them.
The letter accompanying the coupons is quite amusing…
When I see someone write “the internet”, I always think of the guy to the right. I have no idea why. I just do. It sounds archaic written down like that. THE INTERNET! HA! HA!
Not sure where to go from here. Do I write back, and ask for more research funding? Do I ask to talk to someone else who may be able to offer more money? Do I write to completely unrelated organizations and as for research grants? Has anyone reading this ever applied for a grant? Should I include a research proposal? Maybe I should just write back, super-excited about the $1.05, saying what a generous gift it is. Maybe I should ask to speak directly to General Mills or Totino himself? Heh. I feel confident in turning this up a notch.
Also… research will definitely go forward. I will need some time to assemble my team (although, I think I already know who’s in), procure the test product, and schedule a date for the study.
I consider this yet another horrible waste of our tax money.
This quote says it all; “…bar owners say hard-to-spell beer names and typographical errors show how archaic Pennsylvania’s Prohibition-era liquor laws really are…”
A while ago, I decided to write a goofy letter to the Pope about shellfish & Lent. It was surprisingly very easy to find the Pope’s email address online. I wrote an email, and again got some editing/revision help from Dave, and sent it off to the Pontiff himself. Here’s that email…
from ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> to benedictxvi@vatican.va subject My struggles with Lent & dietary concerns… mailed-by gmail.com
Good Day Your Holiness,
I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to find your email address with a quick Google search! I find it fascinating as well as endearing that you make yourself so accessible to the world, and embrace this new technology. I’m not sure if this is monitored and directed by yourself, or your trusted staff, but either way… I salute your effort. Also, I’m not sure if this would need to go through translators, or not. Perhaps I should use Google translator and post the results after my message in English?
I’m sure you are quite a busy man, especially in preparation for the upcoming Easter holiday, so I will try to make my point as succinctly as possible.
I would like to express my frustrations with the Lent season and the proliferation of seafood specials on Fridays at nearly every restaurant where I would otherwise be happy to dine. You see, I have a severe shellfish allergy, this makes dining out an adventure under normal circumstances. During Lent, restaurants that normally have minimal or no shellfish selections seem to produce them out of nowhere. This really hampers my ability to dine out comfortably, if at all.
With any cross-contamination, I can go into anaphylactic shock almost immediately. This means if I have a steak or piece of chicken that touches a grill where some lobster was just cooked, or if I have onion rings from the same fryer that was also cooking shrimp; I would begin the process with an internal itching/burning sensation in my Eustachian tube and rapidly closing bronchi.
I would like to ask if you could perhaps add shellfish (and possibly even regular fish) to the list of recommendations of things that one ought to give up in observation of lent. They are part of the “big 8” allergens in the world today. It would really help out a lot of followers & non-followers out there, being able to dine during the Lenten season in complete comfort! I figured that as the Pope, you’re in the best position to propose and act upon a movement of such magnitude.
You might even be able to offer up an explanation at why people have been eating fish for the lent season for so long, now that it’s no longer really an inconvenience. This would be in line with your call to return to stricter Christian values, no? Perhaps it would dispel the rumors that the Catholic Church of yore was in league with a local fishmonger and pushed fish on lent solely (pun intended – would that pun translate well into German? See, “sole” is a type of fish, and is also the root word to “solely” meaning singular…) to raise profits for the fishmonger, who in turn would up the amount of his tithe to the church. I can only assume that this is a rumor, as I find different versions of the tale on the internet, and no real concrete evidence to back any of the allegations.
I’m not Catholic myself, but am a Protestant (United Church of Christ, more specifically). I would say that in recent times we’re “on the same team” though, wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps Peter didn’t intend to include shellfish when he repealed the laws of clean and unclean animals put forth in Leviticus? Perhaps something was lost in translation?
I have one final idea. For Lent, all devout Christians ought to revert to a strict kosher diet. This would certainly strengthen ties with our Jewish friends and put more emphasis on the kind of Passover meal that Jesus would have had with his disciples at the last supper. I would think that this is wholly appropriate for this time of year, and it certainly helps me with my dining problem. Perhaps I ought to just convert and stick to kosher delis and grocery stores? Ha ha ha.
I would like to thank you for your time, and truly cannot wait to hear your thoughts on the subject at hand. I also look forward to a possible continued dialog about faith, shellfish, and allergies.
Humbly,
-Eric
Google translation:
Guten Tag Eure Heiligkeit,
Ich war angenehm überrascht, wie einfach es ist, Ihre E-Mail-Adresse mit einem schnelle Google-Suche finden! Ich finde es faszinierend wie liebenswert, dass Sie sich so der Welt zugänglich zu machen, und die neue Technologie. Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob dies überwacht wird und von Ihnen selbst gerichtet, oder Ihren Mitarbeitern vertrauen, aber so oder so … Ich begrüße Ihre Bemühungen. Also, ich bin nicht sicher, ob diese müssten durch Übersetzer, oder nicht. Vielleicht sollte ich Google-Übersetzer zu wenden, und nach den Ergebnissen nach meiner Nachricht in Englisch?
Ich bin sicher, Sie haben völlig ein viel beschäftigter Mann, vor allem im Hinblick auf die bevorstehenden Osterferien, also werde ich versuchen, meinen Standpunkt ebenso knapp wie möglich zu machen.
Ich möchte meinen Frust mit der Fastenzeit und der Verbreitung von Meeresfrüchte-Spezialitäten am Freitag um fast jedem Restaurant, wo ich nicht anders ausdrücken würde sich freuen, zu speisen. Sehen Sie, ich einen schweren Schalentiere Allergie haben, das macht einem Dinner ein Abenteuer unter normalen Umständen. In der Fastenzeit, Restaurants, die normalerweise keine oder eine minimale Auswahl Muscheln scheinen zu ihrer Herstellung aus dem Nichts. Dies behindert wirklich meine Fähigkeit zu speisen sich behaglich, wenn überhaupt.
Mit eine Kreuzkontamination kann ich in einen anaphylaktischen Schock gehen fast sofort. Dies bedeutet, wenn ich ein Steak oder ein Stück Huhn berührt haben, dass ein Grill, wo einige Hummer nur gekocht wurde, oder wenn ich Zwiebelringe aus der gleichen Friteuse das war auch das Kochen Garnelen, ich würde den Prozess mit einem internen Juckreiz begin / Brennen in meiner Tuba und schnell schließen Bronchien.
Ich möchte fragen, ob Sie vielleicht könnten Muscheln (und möglicherweise sogar regelmäßig Fisch) in die Liste der Empfehlungen der Dinge, die man aufgeben, in der Beobachtung der Fastenzeit soll hinzuzufügen. Sie sind Teil der “Big 8” Allergene in der heutigen Welt. Es wäre wirklich sehr helfen, von Anhängern und nicht-Anhänger gibt, in der Lage, die während der Fastenzeit im kompletten Komfort zu speisen! Ich dachte, wie der Papst, Sie in der besten Position zu schlagen und die Reaktion auf eine Bewegung von solcher Tragweite sind.
Man könnte sogar in der Lage sein Angebot bis auf eine Erklärung, warum Menschen wurden Verzehr von Fisch für die Fastenzeit so lange, jetzt, da es nicht mehr wirklich ein Nachteil. Dies stünde im Einklang mit Ihren Anruf, um strengere christlichen Werte zurückgeben, nicht wahr? Vielleicht wäre es die Gerüchte, dass die katholische Kirche von einst wurde in der Liga mit einem örtlichen Fischhändler und schob Fisch auf nur geliehen (pun intended zerstreuen – wäre das Wortspiel auch ins Deutsche zu übersetzen? See, “allein” ist eine Art von Fisch, und ist auch die Wurzel Wort “ausschließlich” bedeutet Singular …), um Gewinne für die Fischhändler, der seinerseits würde die Höhe seiner Zehnten der Kirche zu erheben. Ich kann nur annehmen, dass dies ein Gerücht ist, wie ich verschiedene Versionen der Geschichte im Internet zu finden, und keine wirkliche konkrete Beweise vorzulegen, um die Behauptungen zurück.
Ich bin nicht katholisch mich, aber ich bin ein Protestant (United Church of Christ, genauer gesagt). Ich würde sagen, dass in der letzten Zeit sind wir “auf der gleichen Mannschaft” aber nicht würden Sie zustimmen? Vielleicht Peter hatte nicht vor, Schalentiere, wenn er aufgehoben den Gesetzen der reinen und unreinen Tieren setzte sich weiter in Levitikus enthalten? Vielleicht etwas in der Übersetzung verloren?
Ich habe noch eine letzte Idee. Für die Fastenzeit, die alle gläubigen Christen sollten eine strenge koschere Ernährung zurückzukehren. Dies würde sicherlich zur Stärkung der Beziehungen mit unseren jüdischen Freunden und legen mehr Gewicht auf die Art des Passah-Mahl, das Jesus mit seinen Jüngern beim letzten Abendmahl hätte. Ich würde denken, das ist ganz angemessen für diese Zeit des Jahres, und es sicherlich hilft mir bei meinem Esszimmer Problem. Vielleicht sollte ich erst konvertieren und halten Sie sich Feinkostläden und Lebensmittelgeschäften koscher? Ha ha ha.
Ich möchte Ihnen für Ihre Zeit danken und kann wirklich nicht warten, bis Sie Ihre Meinung zu diesem Thema an die Hand zu hören. Ich freue mich auch auf einen möglichen weiteren Dialog über den Glauben, Muscheln und Allergien.
Demütig
-Eric
Yes, that’s a crudely copy n’ pasted Google translation, and I have no idea if it made any sense at all in German. Judging by some of the bounce-backs that I received, it may have been stopped by some SPAM filters.
As expected, it went a couple of weeks without a response, so I looked up some other addresses at the Vatican, and for national & local Catholic organizations, and wrote this little forward to send to a bunch of them, along with the original email…
Hello Friends,
I recently sent an email to Pope Benedict XVI regarding some allergy concern issues that I have surrounding Lent, and possible modification of policies on the Church’s policy of not eating meat on Fridays.
I realize that the Pope is probably the busiest man in the world. He is the head of an organization that transcends many country, political, and cultural borders… and he has many important duties, most especially in this holy time of year.
I was wondering if you would perhaps be able to direct me to someone who would be better suited to open a dialogue about my concerns noted below?
Thank you for your time, and thank you in advance for your help!
-Eric
Finally, we have a response, and not surprisingly, it’s from someone at a local level…
from Gretz, Rev James R <jgretz@diopitt.org> to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com cc “Bielewicz, Vy Rev Harry R.” <hbielewicz@diopitt.org>,
“Wagner, Laura L” <lwagner@diopitt.org> date Wed, Mar 10, 2010 at 1:15 PM subject My struggles with Lent & dietary concerns… mailed-by diopitt.org
Eric,
Peace and greetings to you. Your letter sent to many in the Diocesan Offices eventually came to me as the Director of the Department for Worship. I will attempt to answer your concerns as best as possible.
It is wonderful that our Holy Father is accessible via the internet. He did recently challenge priests and the Church to better use electronic media for reaching out to people. Thus my email response to you!
While I am not in marketing, I do see the proliferation of restaurants attempting to make a profit with the “target audience” each Lenten Season. I guess that’s how business works. At the same time, I do sympathize with your allergy plight. Personally, I do not suffer with allergies, however, my late mother had one to lactose and it was very difficult to take her out to dinner. I know of others who suffer with “celiac-sprue” – the allergy to gluten and wheat products. That too is a horrible cross to bear. My mother and the others solved it by frequenting only the restaurants that would gladly serve their needs. I would suggest the same.
The discipline of abstinence, refraining from meat products, actually has an ancient history. I too know of the truly legendary stories of fishmongers and their unions, if you will! However, the discipline goes back to an extant document of the early Second Century known as the “Didache” or “The Lord’s Instruction to the Twelve Apostles”. You mentioned the kosher diet. So, yes, when we think of Jewish people, that dietary style comes to mind. That was the intent of the Didache. The early Church wanted to have their own dietary laws to make them distinctive as well, hence abstinence, especially on Friday, the day our Lord died for us, so that we too might suffer a little with Him. That is our mark on the world, if you will. I seem to recall that the US Conference of Catholic Bishops back in the 1990’s was discussing this discipline and perhaps returning it to all Fridays of the year. The objection was that since many are refraining from red meat in general and more people are vegans, what does abstinence mean to the modern world? Of course, the discipline remains for the Lenten Season, however, it is good to dream as to what the modern version of abstinence might be….
Which, then, leads me to your final thoughts about adopting the kosher diet for Lent. Actually, if all people really embraced the meaning of the Lenten Season – a time for conversion and returning to the Lord – we would definitely have a much better world.
If you have any additional questions, do not hesitate to contact me. Until then, I remain,
Sincerely yours in Christ, Rev. James R. Gretz
Rev. James R. Gretz, M.Div., M.T.S.
Director, Department for Worship
Diocesan Master of Ceremonies
Roman Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh
2900 Noblestown Rd.
Pittsburgh, PA 15205
voice: 412-456-3041
fax: 412-456-3163
+++++++++++
Someone took this letter quite seriously! I wonder if I’ll hear from anyone else… and I’m wondering how to continue form this point on. It certainly is fun to see my W(aL)D insanity taken seriously. It is fun to know that I got a response. No offense intended here, but I always viewed the Catholic Church as a little “stuffy”. Maybe they’re mellowing out in this digital age?
…or lack thereof. Yesterday, we got this in the mail:
Really? I mean, really? I can’t imagine one person out there who thinks this is at all necessary. Your government actually spent time writing a letter, translating one line into several languages, printing, assembling, and mailing this thing out to every residence?
The one line at the end must be the important line, because it’s the only one they translated… yet, it wasn’t important enough to be in the actual body of the letter. Are we to ignore the thole main part of the letter? How did they pick the languages in which to translate the line? What are they? Please excuse my public education. I recognize the English of course, Spanish, what I think is Chinese, then most likely Japanese or Korean, under that… I have no idea, then the Cryillic letters… is that Russian? Why no French, Italian, German, or at this point Navajo? Did they just throw darts at a map?
What if I’m politically opposed to the social programs that you need this census data for? Is this my warning to fill the census out incorrectly? Doesn’t the government already know everything about me when I do my taxes? What exactly is my fair share, and who determines that? I’m sure it’s nothing even close to “if I pay more taxes I get more out of government assistance”… which would seem fair to me.
On the other end of the political scale, even if this paper is made from recycled material, the plastic window in the envelope couldn’t have been environmentally friendly… and this is still a giant waste of paper, ink, envelope glue, and the gas that went into the trucks/planes/cars that delivered these things. I really hope the tree-hugging hippies pick up on this and rail against it. If the government expects us to be more responsible with our resources, they ought to lead by example. Even a fictional villain from the Captain Planet cartoon would find this wasteful.
Oddly, it didn’t even mention the not-so-humorous “Snapshot of America” campaign that’s been shoved down our throats via TV, radio, print, and the ‘net. I could almost see if it was some expansion of that, or more of an explanation. This basically translates to “please fill out the census when you get it”… and if you need help, we have a website you can go to. They couldn’t have done that in the useless ad campaign?
Who paid for this? We did. You, me, and everyone else that pays taxes. Wouldn’t the money used for this mailing have been better used in the schools, health care facilities, highways, and programs that the census letter speaks of? Or, it could have gone to disaster relief, homeless shelters, cancer research, or better yet, you could have all gotten a few more tax dollars back in your refund. Before you laugh… It wouldn’t just be the cost of the paper, ink, envelope, & stamp. Think of all the people who where paid to write, print, fold, stuff, stamp, & transport these things and how many hours they spent doing it… and imagine what they get paid an hour. Even with automated machines to do most of the work, someone had to monitor the progress and set the ball rolling.
Was this a ploy to keep the post office running for another few months before it shuts down? The one sentence that stands out to me is “Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.” This reads like a threat in a stereotypical “pay for protection” plot line on your favorite crime drama or Simpsons episode. I imagine someone sounding like Joe Pesci saying “I would ‘ate for sometin’ bad to ‘appen to your community were you to ignore this important mailing coming your way.”
Yes, I just wasted more of your time. Sorry about that. Maybe I need a government job…
World (and Lunar) Domination 