Yearly Archives: 2011

The worst scammers ever try again…

Posted on by Standard 14

You read the Chicken Caesar Wrap Scam post, right? This familiar assault came at my inbox again.  I wonder if Mr. Simson and Ms. Baker know each other, went to the same poorly taught “how to be an internet scammer” class, or are indeed the same person.  If they’re not the same person, at the very least they bought the same email list or scan bot program.

From: ray baker [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: On Mon, Dec 5, 2011
Subject: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: [blank?]

Hello

My name is Lori Sandra Baker and I would like to order individual grilled chicken Caesar salad in your restaurant,for 150 people on 13th of December and pick up time is 3 pm and it’s for my Dad’s Birthday Party and it will be picked up by Carrier Agent and I am ready to pay the full payment with my credit card so can you make the order for me on that date while you get me the grand total of the foods inclusive of the tax fee,get back to me with the total cost,you can also get back to me.

Regard

I wrote back with a similar response to last time (some parts blatantly cut & pasted – is it plagiarizing if you steal from yourself?):

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: lorisandra72@yahoo.com

Hello Ray & Lori,

Sounds like a great time! Would you like the salads in plain old salad form, or in Chicken Cæsar Salad wrap form? The wraps have been quite a hot item lately. May I ask where you found our humble establishment, and how you heard of our incredible Chicken Cæsar Salad? If you have a courier agent, I must assume you are quite fancy. Quite fancy indeed. I’m glad to have been noticed.

Would you like a full menu? We have quite a few price levels and advertising options to help keep the cost low. I also offer party planning, and discounts if I’m invited. (I don’t get out much, I’m always making Cæsar dressing and grilling chicken!) I could deliver, and we could do cash on delivery if that’s OK.

As far as pricing… Would you like to stamp your father’s name along with a happy birthday message on the outside of the wrap(s)? Advertising with printing directly on the wraps is standard for us, so it’s no big deal & not much of an extra charge for us to add a custom message. We feel that we must seize every opportunity to advertise.You heard of us somehow, right?

Currently we’re working on exciting “edible” advertisements that will pass through your system and remind you of our catering services upon their exit. They always come out (well, usually always), but they’re not always readable. We need to work on a smooth non-stick or oily surface that always floats. We hope to be the world leader in defecation-marketing!

I have a party theme idea for you too… Toga Luau. It’s going to be a thing, I tell you. It will be huge. Your dad can say “I had that party before it was cool.” I mean, brilliantly flowered togas? Let it simmer.

About the price… I like the show Pawn Stars. You ever watch? How about you give me a number that’s ridiculously low, and I’ll come back with an equally ridiculous high number, and we’ll negotiate.

Looking forward to your business!
-Waldo Lunar

From here on out there’s no mention of Ray, the name from the original email.  I hope Ray is OK, and not tied up in his basement.  At any rate, they continue:

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

Hello

Thanks for the email Before you go Ahead i will like to Know if you accept Credit Card for Payment

Hope to hear from you asap

Regard

Regard, indeed.

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Hello Lori,

I can accept a credit card, I guess. I’m not sure if I like accepting credit card info. via email. Perhaps I should set up a PayPal account? From which of our locations would you like to pickup? I hear there are some shady people out there looking to grab cc info from emails.

Have you thought about the wraps, the advertising, the Toga Luau, and my invitation yet?

Also, come at me with a price!

OMGWTFBBQ,
-Waldo

Seriously, if I ever own a BBQ joint, that’s what I’m gonna call it. OMGWTFBBQ! Maybe OMG.WTF?BBQ! or something close. I bet there’s already one out there.

OMGWTFBBQ

OMGWTFBBQ

Unfazed, it goes on…

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

i have Credit Card Not paypal ok

Getting testy?

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Hello Lori,

I believe that you can use credit cards via PayPal. OMGWTFBBQ, Inc. is concerned about your privacy & personal information. Credit card will be fine.

What price would you like for the order? What about advertising, & the toga luau?

Cialoha (get it Ciao + Aloha…?),
-Waldo

Heh. At least I find myself amusing.

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

not interested

D’oh! I try to redeem myself, while trying to slightly up the ridiculousness. To what end, I have no idea.

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Hello Lori,

May I ask why you’re all of a sudden not interested? You seemed quite eager to give me your credit card information. I’m not sure why. Shouldn’t we discuss details of the order before we discuss payment?

You’ll be sorry for passing up my Hawaiian toga party. It’s going to be all the rage next year. My on-wrap & defecation advertising promised DEEP discounts, and you still can’t see that we’re a perfect match?

I’m sorry for lashing out. Can I still come to the party?

“Welcome to Costco, I love you,”
-Waldo

Who loves Idiocracy? Everyone does (or should). Maybe “Lori” is a fan.  Maybe she thinks I’m dumb enough to fall for this crazy scam.

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

Okay

OK?  OK!

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Dear Lori,

OK I can come to the party? Sweet! Where is it? I already know the time and date.

Want me to bring a giant Chicken Cæsar Salad, or some individual wraps? Would you like any sides?

Toga! Toga! Toga!
-Waldo

…and no further reply. Heh. Apparently the projected profit has now outweighed the effort.

I did, however, recently gain some insight on the objective.  A member at The BBQ Brethren Forum, colonel00, posted a link to my Chicken Cæsar Wrap scam blog post, and apparently Mr. Simson & Ms. Baker get around… under a few different aliases.  Poster chachahut provided some insight on the type of scam:

This is a form of a Courier Grift.

The grifter – in this case the emailer or in some cases a person calling via TTD – wants a large order of food. Rather than having the joint deliver – they will be sending a courier. As the courier requires cash payment, they will ask you to charge the credit card an additional amount – usually a few hundred to $1000 – and wire the money to the courier service. Why do you have to wire it? Well, the grifter is in the hospital & cannot take it or wire it to them & the courier does not accept credit cards (yeah right).

Of course – there is no courier service. It’s nothing more than a receiving address for any one foolish enough to send the wire. Additionally – the credit card used it certainly stolen & will ultimately get rejected or the charges will be reversed.

The whole thread can be seen here: Tried scamming me twice this week.

Interesting.  Convoluted, but interesting.  Google didn’t turn up much for “Courier Grift”, but I did find these interesting/enlightening sites after altering my search terms slightly:

Crazy.  Hard to believe that anyone can be lulled into this one.  I mean there really are a lot of steps, and it’s got to be hard to gain confidence via email.  It must work if there’s still people out there trying it.

I wonder what the BBQ aficionado guys would think of my local BBQ joint reviews or chipped ham BBQ?

Related articles

Movies I’d like to see at the Hollywood Theater in Dormont

Posted on by Standard 18

So, I like movies.  I’ve blogged about some childhood favorites.  I’ve blogged recently about the Hollywood Theater and In Person Productions.  Here I’d like to express my thoughts on what movies I’d like to see on the big screen in a little room over at the Hollywood.  All of these could only be enhanced by In Person bringing in a related actor, writer, director, producer, etc.  I don’t know if they take requests, but that’s not gonna stop me from blogging about it.

Kick him in the nards!

Wolfman's got nards!

Monster Squad ⚡ Duh. This movie is perfect for the Hollywood Theater in Dormont.  It’s got a cult following.  I hear other theaters are doing it.  Wolfman’s got nards.  (I’ve never seen Dekker‘s other movie, Night of the Creeps… maybe that would be cool too?)  At any rate, this movie is fantastic.  The monsters come alive, they’re so evil and scary.

Boodie twaps!

Boodie twaps!

Goonies  ⚡  Who wouldn’t wanna see this?  I want to say this was the movie for my generation.  It had a pirate’s treasure, kids as heroes, Sloth, and asthma.  I’m sure I wore out the local video store’s VHS when I was younger.  I’d love to see this on the big screen, in all of it’s sweeping epic glory.

C64

C64

Explorers  ⚡  I don’t think that I ever saw this film on a big screen.  I just saw it on VHS.  I’d love to see it in full-size.  I’d also like to know how many others dig/remember this film.  I mean, it had a Commodore 64 in it… and the kids made their own spaceship.  They made. their. own. spaceship!

Would you like to play a game?

Would you like to play a game?

War Games ⚡ I still want to try that payhone trick.  How cool was that?  Talking computers?  So futuristic! Reminded me of SAM.  Global thermonuclear war was kind of scary, but I was too busy trying to figure out that modem.

The Crow

Can't rain all the time…

The Crow  ⚡  This movie is incredible.  I saw in on VHS for the first time.  I’d love to see it in the theater.  It’s a story of revenge, it’s a story of love, it’s a story of some things being stronger than mere mortality.  The images & ideas from James O’Barr’s graphic novel were transferred quite well to the screen here, the violence was actually played down.  Making Eric a guitar player instead of a dancer is probably the only time I’ll ever say “yeah, good move” to a movie changing a comic book or graphic novel story.  T-Bird said “There ain’t no coming back. This is the really real world, there ain’t no coming back.”  But, we all know T-bird was wrong.  So, let’s bring this one back to the big screen.

Slimer!

Slimer!

Ghostbusters double feature  ⚡  OK, just the first one.  They came, they saw, they kicked some ass… and should have stuck with the cartoon instead of Ghostbusters II.  Maybe we shouldn’t cross the streams.  I think I did see this in the theater, but I don’t remember it.  I wanna see a life sized Stay Puft marshmallow man, please.  (Yes, I actually had a plush one when I was a kid.)

Flux Capacitor

Great Scott!

Back to the Future marathon  ⚡  A perfect trilogy.  Goofy adventure, faulty science, crazy hair, the old west, 50’s cars, cowboys & Indians, hover-boards, poop jokes, futuristic home-faxing, temporal paradoxes, a Star Wars reference, a Chuck Berry song, ZZ Top in the old west, & Huey Lewis.  What’s not to love?  Oh yeah…  the AMC DeLorean is the coolest time machine ever, and there was a sweet guitar.

We named the DOG Indiana...

We named the DOG Indiana...

Indiana Jones marathon.  ⚡  Or maybe Indiana Jones month.  Four weekends, four films.  Or, only 3.  It’s OK if there’s only 3.  Unless they hand out Crystal Skull Head Vodka at the event.  These stories are too epic for your TV, they need to be shown on a grand scale.  I can hear the music in my head as I’m typing.  Now you can too, can’t you?  I’m not sorry.  Maybe I can just bring the Wii over & play Lego Indiana Jones while no one’s using the theater?  Please?

Eborsisk

Siskel & Ebert... or Eborsisk the dragon.

Willow  ⚡  I think I did see this on the big screen, but I’d like to see it again.  I feel like it’s an underrated movie.  It had great effects, a great fairy-tail type story with a literal little guy taking on the evil establishment, and a world in which you could easily get lost.  Also, the villain, General Kael was incredibly scary & awesome, even if he shopped at the same store as Skeletor.

STAR freakin’ WARS marathon  ⚡  I mean, come on.  Do I even really need to even state a case here?  We have the movies proper, the animated feature film, the Ewok specials.  Play ’em all!  Please, play the Star Wars Holiday Special.  It may have to be some secret underground invitation-only thing so George Lucas doesn’t hunt us all down & destroy us, but it’d be totally worth it.

Those WERE the droids I was looking for...

|-o-|

Never tell them the odds...

Never tell them the odds...

Fanboys  ⚡  See above.  It’s a fun movie.  I’d like to see it on a big screen, it never got a proper release.  I bet you could get more than a few of the actors to come down to the Hollywood.  Let’s do this.  There’s a kid named Windows.  Windows, I tell you.  This is a great film for geeks & nerds of all kinds.

Shaun's Plan

Want to go to the Winchester?

Shaun of the Dead  ⚡  Zombies, zombies, and more zombies… in a romantic comedy?  Yes.  Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, & Nick Frost are geniuses.  This movie is just absolutely incredible.  I bet people would be all about seeing this on the big screen.  We could watch the regular movie… or the one with pop-up trivia.  How fun would it be to see this with a room full of like-minded humorous zombie film fans?

Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Hot Fuzz  ⚡  Yes.  And, whatever the 3rd movie is gonna be.  OK, the movie is a little slow in the beginning, but it’s absolutely necessary for the ridiculous pacing later in the film.  This is the buddy cop film of all buddy cop films, that unleashes ridiculous action like no other.  It’s great to see a movie that celebrates & pokes fun at an entire genre.

These guys are at the movies every time we go...

These guys are at the movies every time we go...

Gremlins double-feature  ⚡  I think I saw these in the theater too, but I wanna see them again.  A mogwai would be the coolest pet ever, as long as you don’t feed it after midnight, or let it near your office supplies.

Batman night!  ⚡  Any/all of them, please.  Why not play some of the serials or Batman: Dead End too?  Batman is the coolest comic book character ever.  He’s smarter and more cunning than all of them combined.  Sure, he’s just Zorro with ears & more toys… but it’s such a great story & way easier to relate to than something like Superman or the X-Men, unless you’re an alien or some sort of mutant.  I mean, there’s a plethora of cartoon movies too.  It could be Batman movie day every day.

Batman Evolution

Batman Evolution

The LONE Rangers? There's 3 of you...

The LONE Rangers? There's 3 of you...

Airheads  ⚡  Some day, I’m going to write a letter to Santa, and my wish list will be as follows:  Radio Airplay, a football helmet full of cottage cheese, naked pictures of Bea Arthur, A Zon walnut bass, a PRS guitar with dragon inlays, 67 copies of Moby Dick, and a six-foot baby bottle.  You dig?  Who has ever picked up a guitar, bass, or drum sticks & didn’t love this movie?  If you just thought “me”, you might as well just quit reading now.

He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

This is Spinal Tap  ⚡  This movie goes to 11, and has incredible sustain.  Why wouldn’t we all want to watch & laugh together?  In 1984, everyone in a band thought this was poking fun directly at them.  And, while it was… that’s why it’s hilarious.

It Might Get Loud

It Might Get Loud

It Might Get Loud  ⚡  Great movie.  I’m not a U2 fan, and I thought that Jack White was slightly annoying before this… but it was just a cool tale of the evolution of the guitar and the individual players.  It gave me insight into the three guitarists and their influences. And really, who wouldn’t want to be in a room with the opportunity to jam with Jimmy Page?

Berserker

Actually any rock docs or even concert movies being regular would be quite cool.  I just missed Purple Rain, damn it.  Anvil! The Story of Anvil and Lemmy would be great movies to see in the theater.  Why not a whole series of Kevin Smith films?  I love the adventures of Jay & Silent Bob.  Even stand-up comedy films might be cool as long as they don’t involve any of the Blue Collar guys.  Maybe even The Princess Bride, The Last Dragon, Flight of the Navigator, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure & Bogus Journey, & any of the Star Trek movies.

Bruce Leroy | The Last Dragon

He ain't no cornball! He's my brother. And he's the master.

A bad movie night with Leonard Part 6, The ‘Burbs, or Howard the Duck would be excellent.  Maybe even Pluto Nash?  (I’ve never worked up the courage to see that one.)

She's Out of My League

She's Out of My League

What about Pittsburgh set or filmed movies, like She’s Out of My League, Adventureland, & so many more?

Would you like to see any of these at the Hollywood or a theater near you?  What have I missed?  What do you wanna see on the little big screen?

Related articles

Wash Your Hands Frequently. Also, don’t forget to breathe.

Posted on by Standard 28

GOOD HYGIENE

(Sort of) Good Hygiene

I saw this sign over the weekend in the restroom of a retail store. It was beside the standard “employees must wash hands before returning to work” sign.  This was just a print out, placed in a 3-ring binder type page protector, then taped to the wall.  I don’t mean to poke fun at the store, or the person who placed the sign on the wall… but I do see a few problems with this sign, and similar signs in general.  (OK, maybe I do mean to poke fun – you can read an old rant on public restrooms here.)

My first issue with this specific sign was step #3.  For you the reader to appreciate this, I should have perhaps taken a few more photos of my surroundings.  The knobs on the sink were the little kind.  One would have to be quite flexible and creative to turn them off with their arms.  Also, this restroom lacked paper towels.  There was a hand dryer on the wall though.  I could have used some toilet paper to turn off the faucet, but have you ever gotten TP wet?  And, if I waited until my hands were dried by the air dryer… I would have wasted a large amount of water.  I can see that someone took the time to print & post the sign carefully.  Perhaps they could have altered the steps to ones that pertain to their setup?

I guess that’s my only big issue with this sign, other than other sings have told me 30 seconds, or even to sing a song in my head, like “Old McDonald” or “Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star”… but I’m sure hand-washing time is a subject of hot debate in the hand-washing and general good hygiene sign community.

I wonder what frequently means?  I would think that if one needed hand-washing explained, and they could read the word frequently… one may wonder exactly how often one should wash.  One may think a few times a day is frequent.  One may think that since you’re in the bathroom, it’s talking about your time within.  Should you wash your hands 2 or 3 times for each restroom trip?  I would bet that clarification is definitely needed for the people that need these signs.  I find myself confused, and I already know how to wash my hands.  (Also, I’m sure that some medical professionals would remind you that frequent hand-washing is a sign of OCD.)

I wonder who needs these sings, and at the same time… why there aren’t more of them, educating the uninformed masses of more good hygiene policies.  There could certainly be a bunch more in public restrooms like “don’t pee on the seat”, “no boogers on the wall please”, & “proper nest-building for public toilets”.

I almost want to make a “how to wipe your behind” sign to hang up as a joke to post in restrooms around the area… but sadly I fear that we may see them for real some day.  Maybe they do already exist somewhere.  I would definitely include a “flush at [X] number of sheets per [X] ounces of fecal matter, to prevent clogging” line.

Perhaps a sign above the trash can that says “please do not place soiled underwear in trash can” would also be in good order.  Seems I know quite a few people who have worked places with public restrooms where this sort of thing has apparently happened.  Maybe in with this, signs warning against urinating or defecating in the sink would be appropriate.  This, I have unfortunately seen with my own eyes at the O.  Many many years ago, I was trapped by a hopefully drunk street-urchin looking fellow once who tried to share my urinal… when I balked, he relieved himself in the sink which was unfortunately on my way out the door.  That time, I skipped washing my hands.  Perhaps a footnote is in order on the hand-washing sign.  “*If you have just witnessed someone urinating in the sink, you may skip hand-washing.”  I’m betting the same people that need hand-washing reminders/instructions would also need to be told not to touch others’ urine.

So, I now task you the reader with helping me think of other signs that may need to be hung up in public restrooms and beyond.  What do people need told?  What obvious things maybe aren’t so obvious to all of us need to be publicly addressed?

What about “Please don’t eat the food on the floor by the trash can” at your favorite fast food restaurant? What about “how to pick up dog poop” instructions at the park, right by the useless “No Dogs In Park” signs?  What about some signs on buggies (shopping carts to you non-Yinzers) that say “We have cart returns, please put this in one when you’re done, not pushed to a random nearby corner”?

If you’re super-creative, send me a sign and I’ll post it.  You can either link to the url or image wherever it lives using html in the comments, or email it to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com.

Please, wash your hands before emailing me though.

Validate my goofy guitar habit?

Posted on by Standard 2

So, not too long ago, I submitted some photos of my favorite toys to the Tone Fiend blog’s Mutant Beauty Pageant.  If you’d like to follow the saga at the Tone Fiend blog, check these posts out:

You can pick your 3 favorites, and list them in the comments here: Mutant Beauty Pageant: Choose the “Winner!” You can also email your votes if you’d like them to be anonymous.  Of course, your 3 favorites could be for all 3 of my guitars, but… I do encourage you to vote for your actual favorites.

No prize was apparent at the time of my entry, but now I see a nifty little custom-built Uglyface stompbox is being offered up as booty.  I certainly wouldn’t mind playing around with the little thing.  At any rate, it was cool that people got to show off their weird guitars, and we can all share in our inherent oddness.

Mutant Beauty Pageant: Choose the “Winner!”

Mutant Beauty Pageant: Choose the “Winner!”

Related articles

A Christmas Story in Dormont

Posted on by Standard 10

A Christmas Story

Image via Wikipedia

So, last night we went to the Hollywood Theater in Dormont to see A Christmas Story.  It was a joint venture with In Person Productions, and they brought Ian Patrella (Randy) to the theater for a meet n’ greet & commentary.  It was a great time, despite a few little quirks in the evening.

The Hollywood itself is a cool little theater, the first time my wife & I had gone there, we saw Inglourious Basterds, and we sat in the balcony.  It was very cool to see that movie in a little local theater.  Although we didn’t, we could walk there.  Ha ha.  It’s a great thing to have in your neighborhood.

Last night, there was a decidedly different atmosphere.  Of course, Christmas decorations and attire were everywhere… it was quite festive.  We arrived and were ushered in, and moved on to the concession stand.  We decided on just a large Coke to share, and were greeted warmly & quickly, although the woman made sure to note that we had several scary movies coming up in December.  Ha ha.  Do I look scary, or like a horror fan?  Maybe it’s the facial hair.

We got inside & chose some seats on the floor, near the middle in the back.  There were quite a lot of people there already when we arrived, and many more flocked in behind us.

Before the movie, Mr. Bending form In Person Productions introduced a representative for local EMT’s, as they were benefiting from a Red Ryder B.B. Gun raffle, and then introduced Ian Patrella and a gave a little talk about how the evening was going to run.

Then, they trotted out Dormont’s mayor, Tom Lloyd, to present a key to the city to Mr. Patrella.  Mayor Lloyd is a bit of a hot-button issue ’round Dormont if you’ve been paying attention to the news.  I know Mr. Lloyd has been pushing for revitalization of small businesses in Dormont… or at least that’s what his bio says, but there’s also been a quite public pissing contest (for lack of a better term) between the Mayor & the Police Chief, or maybe even two at this point.  I know it has to do with GPS units in local police cars, who can use what door to go in & out of the municipal building, and who has the power to cancel parking and/or other traffic citations… and I think even who the fines should go to, if they’re local or state violations.  Also, apparently who has the biggest cojones.  My bet’s on Mr Lloyd’s, as they’re probably dragging on the floor at this point.  Pardon my vulgarity, but really… I’ve gotten way to many impeach the mayor post cards in the mail, and too many letters to the editor in the local quarterly newsletter to take either side seriously at this point.

Speaking of point… I’m leading into the fact that Mr. Lloyd presenting a key to the city to Mr. Patrella may have not been a great decision at this point in time.  The mayor was visibly physically in distress, and I know you’re not supposed to discriminate on age, but I found myself wondering aloud how he’s able to carry out official duties.

Also… upon presentation of the key to Mr. Patrella, he proceeded to tell him that he’s never seen the movie.  Yes, we’re talking about A Christmas Story.  Yes, Mayor Lloyd looks about 347 years old.  Yes, they run A Christmas Story for 24 hours every Christmas on TBS or TNT or whatever channel.  Yes, he actually told the actor from the movie that he’d never seen the movie.  It was all very odd.  Then, he very conspicuously ambled up the aisle after presenting the key… taking his 4-5 person entourage with him.  So, apparently he couldn’t spare a few hours to watch the movie now?  I found the whole ordeal quite disrespectful to Ian, In Person Productions, and the Hollywood Theater.  Perhaps he has political or social ties to the FOHT, but they ought to reconsider letting him embarrass the city in the future.

Ian Patrella (Randy from A Christmas Story) & Me

Ian Patrella & Me

Mr. Patrella was going to provide commentary during the film, but they apparently had mic or PA issues, and he wasn’t able to really shout over the film.  I hope they got the issues resolved for the rest of the showings this weekend.  I did really appreciate the Q&A at the beginning of the evening.  Ian is a great public speaker & Q&A guy, & seemed to be genuinely having a great time.  He’s currently giving tours at the house used for the outdoor scenes which is now an A Christmas Story themed museum.  He was very cool at the meet & greet after the movie, and took the time to pause with me for a photo and sign my DVD.  I hope to make the road-trip out there some time soon!  You can also win an all-inclusive package trip by reenacting a scene from the film at AChristmasStoryScene.com!

The other interesting part of the evening was a little troll that sat behind us during the film, mouthing off how incredibly bored he was not only at the pre-film ceremonies, but during the actual film viewing itself.  He continued to ramble & talk about totally unrelated things.  After a while, my wife had enough, turned around, and asked him to please be quiet.  He mumbled inaudibly as he was scolded by the woman he was with and giggled-at by the couple they were with.  Then the big shot said “I asked ‘what is she gonna make me?'”  Yes.  This was a grown man.  I was turning to look as he asked “Is he gonna make me?  I raised up slightly in my seat, as he slouched in his.  He didn’t say one more word for the entire duration of the film.  Apparently I do look scary.  We saw the little guy afterward, and he was just under 5 feet tall.  Apparently he had something that he though he needed to prove, then decided it wasn’t that important.  I’d love to know out of a theater full of people, why people like this seem to gravitate towards wherever I’m sitting.

All in all though, the idea & the execution of the evening was great as far as the Hollywood, In Person Productions, & Mr. Patrella went.  I’d like to catch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation there later in December.  I also cant wait to see who In Person brings around in the future.  I shot off an email when we got home to let the Hollywood & In Person Productions know what a great time we had, and Mr. Bendig from In Person wrote back very quickly, with another message to follow.  I look forward to some of the movies and personalities that they’re looking to bring to the Hollywood.  (Did somebody say… Monster Squad?)

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Cover Album…

Posted on by Standard 13

“Someday” if I ever get the time, energy, & resources… I’d like to record a CD of some of my favorite songs with whatever kind of band I can pull together, or maybe even a varied assortment of musician friends.  Some of them are by bigger bands, some by locals, some by bands I’ve been in.

I’m sure there are more I’d want to include.  There’s no real reason to this, other than I think they’re all solid songs and it would be all kinds of fun.  Well, add any of the songs from my Ramones/Misfits/related bands list, really.

If anyone has better audio links for any of these… or any link at all for ones that aren’t click-able, I’d really appreciate your sharing of such things.

(I’d actually like to re-record most of the AiXeLsyD & Gasoline Dion catalogs, just because I think a little more attention to production could really polish some of that stuff. – Reunion gig or 2 anyone?  Ha ha.)

What songs do you dig enough to cover?  Any of these?  Ever hear of any of these?  Ha ha.  What would be on your album were you to do the same thing?

Crop-dusting for disgusting cell-phone roaches.

Posted on by Standard 7

This Facebook status seemed quite popular.  Thought I’d blog about it, and get some more input.  There are 2 points here that seem to universally annoy us…  People talking loudly (or at all) on cell phones in public places, and people that talk about disgusting things when you’re trying to eat.

So, I'm sitting at Chick-fil-A tonight, trying to enjoy some chicken nuggets and some chicken noodle soup... and some crazy Yinzer lady is about 4 booths away screaming into her cell phone, talking about infections, site-wounds, dialysis, and MRSA. Besides it just being rude to be on your phone there in a public place... Really? Everyone around is trying to eat. I wish I could pass gas on demand. I would have made several runs (pardon the pun) past her table.

So I'm sitting at Chick-fil-A...

The original text…

So, I’m sitting at Chick-fil-A tonight, trying to enjoy some chicken nuggets and some chicken noodle soup… and some crazy Yinzer lady is about 4 booths away screaming into her cell phone, talking about infections, site-wounds, dialysis, and MRSA.

Besides it just being rude to be on your phone there in a public place…

Really? Everyone around is trying to eat. I wish I could pass gas on demand. I would have made several runs (pardon the pun) past her table.

Pus oozing from an abscess caused by bacteria—...

Image via Wikipedia

Click the pic above to magnify the first wave of comments, and if you want check out this old post for reference: Excuse me, I’m eating.

So, what’s your take on disgusting topics during meals, public cell phone users, and the unholy intersection of the two?

Chick Fil A 8pc Nuggets

Image by j.reed via Flickr

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted on by Standard 1

Let’s express gratitude for our prosperity while ravaging a beheaded fowl carcass.

Let's express gratitude for our prosperity while ravaging a beheaded fowl carcass.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I mean, Happy Thanksgiving!

Let’s all celebrate much like we should on Columbus Day.  Go to your neighbor’s house, call them heathens, kick them out, and claim it as your own.  Make them teach you how to plant corn first.

Or, just read this to the kids:  Bizarro Back Issues: Batman in The Worst Thanksgiving Ever

Bat-shit crazy time travel anti-Native American Thanksgiving!

Yes, it actually says "…two Indians on the war path after that white man!"

Really, be thankful for things and people you have in your life, and take the time to celebrate the goofy, too.

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¿ɹoɟ ןnɟʞuɐɥʇ noʎ ǝɹɐ ʇɐɥʍ ‘os

Posted on by Standard 2

Cover of "Cloak & Dagger"

Cover of Cloak & Dagger

OK, the last post was serious.  This one can be goofy …ridiculous even.  Help me out in the comments.

  • I’m thankful for my Dewey Decibel FlipOut because it hurts people’s heads.
  • I’m thankful that I can tell my wife to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, and she laughs & knows I’m not sexist.  It’s even better when I do something like this in the grocery store in front of elderly people.
  • I’m thankful that I don’t live any closer to the ocean.
  • I’m thankful that people read this blog, and pretend to find it entertaining.
  • I’m thankful that I’ve never purchased a Clarks album.
  • I’m thankful that I’m old enough to be like “back in my day” to you younglings.
  • I’m thankful that Al Gore invented the internet.
  • I’m thankful that I got to see Guns N’ Roses live before they imploded, and the Ramones before they quit & died.
  • I’m glad that I can remember the cold war.  Russians were much more fun than terrorists.  Cloak & Dagger or The Experts anyone?
  • I’m thankful that posting photos of food on Facebook is a ridiculously friend polarizing action.
  • I’m thankful that Boston Market is funny.
  • I’m thankful that I’m not these people or McDonald’s.
  • I’m thankful for kitten calendars.
  • I’m thankful that I’m not the person who bags giblets at the turkey factory, then shoves them in the turkey’s nether-regions.  (My apologies to those who are that person.)
  • I’m thankful for your eventual comments.
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So, what are you thankful for?

Posted on by Standard 4

OK, I do a lot of goofy stuff here on the blog.  I tend to rant about things, as this forum lends itself easily to that.  Hopefully those of you that know me IRL know I’m not always a grumbly curmudgeon.  I use ranting as humor, not as a way of life.

Tonight as this posts, we’ll be cleaning up the clutter, we’ve already chopped the bread for stuffing, and we’re probably prepping the turkey… but let’s not forget what’s important this time of year; It’s a great time to take stock of things, and be thankful for all that we have.  You can thank a higher power, karma, yourself, or other people in your life who have helped or influenced you.  When I think about it, I have a lot of things to be thankful for.  As you get ready for the holiday crunch, anticipated gatherings, getting the place clean or packing the car for a road trip… think about what you’re thankful for.  Pardon my foray into the mushy.

A wife that puts up with my shenanigans.  We can be goofy together, and it makes life fun.  We have different points of view on pretty much everything, so we’re always (OK, most of the time) looking at things from more than one perspective.  She supports my Batman and Star Wars obsessions, and I hate to say I’ve learned to like Glee.  That’s how we roll.

A big family.  I’m an only child, but I’m always surrounded by & get along well with my extended family… now extended to my wife’s family since they’re all also close-knit.  I’m thankful that things like Facebook exist to keep us all in contact.  I’m not a phone person, but I can do FB to keep tabs on the fam.  I’m thankful that when we get together at Grandma’s this year, we’ll be throwing dinner rolls across the dining room at each other, and discussing wildly inappropriate things at the dinner table.

A band that is pretty ridiculous.  It’s cool to have a band that’s relaxed, and seems to get things done.  I have fun playing, and I hope people have fun listening and watching.  For me, it’s a creative outlet that can’t be matched.  To have the opportunity to write stuff, gig out, and now to get an “actual” album pressed & produced is a big deal to me.  When I say relaxed, I don’t meant to convey that a lot of effort doesn’t go into what we do… it’s just that we don’t stress about it.  It’s difficult to find a group of people on compatible levels of taste, work ethic, stage presence, talent, and most of all personality.  I think we have this one right.

Friends for the long-haul.  I know a lot of cool people.  I’ve met them through camp, church, rocking out with various bands, jobs, and all even these things that we used to call “message boards” back in the 1900’s.  There are friends I see often, some I see less so, but I think we’re all solid on where we stand, no matter the time interval that passes between hanging out & catching up.  You know who you are.

That’s just a few of the plethora of things I have to be thankful for… without even getting into material possessions, and resisting the urge to be a smart-ass.

Maybe I’ll add some more in the comments or another blog later.

What are you thankful for?  (Real sentiments and smart-assedness encouraged.)

And now, the stuffing…

And now, the stuffing…

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