I WON THE LOTTERY!  Well, according to this email, anyway.  I mean, seems legit, right?  It’s pretty awesome, because I didn’t even enter any lotteries.

From: Giveaway Team® Asia <googlegiveawayteam.asia@shqiptar.eu>
Date: Tue, Nov 1, 2011
Subject: Google Asia alert: Your information has reached us today, kindly provided the required info.
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

The Google Malaysia Office:
Level 40, Tower 2 Petronas Twin Towers
Kuala Lumpur City Centre 50088 Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia. Tel : +60-103202061

Office Open 7 Days, 8am-6pm.

Date: 01 November, 2011.

Dear Winner (Googler),
You are welcome to the Google Giveaway Southeast AsiaDisbursement center here in Malaysia, I am DR. PETER AHMED, the Google Asia (Malaysia) Regional coordinator and processing officer for this year Google UK  Anniversary Giveaway Sweepstakes which was held in UK to commemorate our 13 years of existence , thank you for responding promptly to the notification mail you received from our UK Company promo announcer.Your winning details and email has reached us from our UK Office today as one of our 10 lucky beneficiaries whose claim fall within our disbursement booklet as indicated in your play coupon. Your e-mail address attached to Ticket #: 899-633/UK-11-001 with CGP # AS/MY/0010/011 drew L u c k y #: 9012-2449-4041(17) that was randomly selected by our Central Computer System under category A. This Promotion is organized by Google Organization (Australia,North America, South America, Europe, Asia and Africa) to commemorate our 13th Anniversary and also to say “Thank you” to all our regular Web Users Worldwide (who uses our Online Search Engine, our e-mail service and other online ancillary services) for joining us in expanding  the use of internet worldwide especially in ASIA and AFRICA  and also for making “Google Search Engine” & GMail the #1 Online Search Engine/Web-base Email Provider worldwide.

Please note that “No tickets were sold out” for this promotion but all email addresses were assigned to different t i c k e t numbers for representation and privacy. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from exclusive list of 200,000 extracted email addresses of individual and corporate bodies from 45 Email providers companies from Australia, North America, South America, Europe, Asia and Africa as part of International Promotions  Program, which is conducted annually.

As indicated in your play coupon, your name have therefore been short-listed to claim a total sum of £850,000.00 GBP (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling) from a total cash prize of £40,000.000 GBP shared amongst the first forty five (45) lucky beneficiaries in world-wide. Therefore, your prize payout is £850, 000 GBP which is approximately $1,390,913 US Dollars. Your claim shall be processed from this zone and your prize (Cheque) presentation shall be done at our office here in Malaysia or through our  affiliated Bank.
This giveaway sweepstakes promotion is approved by the British Gaming Board and also licensed by the International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). To begin the verification process of your prize, you are   required to read through the options of claim and fill and provide the required information below:

Payment Option/Preferred Mode Of Payment

1 – Personal Prize Pickup:

All beneficiaries under the Asia claim zone are required to come down in person to personally pickup his/her Prize Cheque at any of our disbursement locations (cash pickup centers) here in Malaysia.

Requirements documents to come with for personal prize pickup are:

(a) An International Passport

(b) A tax clearance certification.

(c) Birth Certificate or Affidavit of age Declaration

(d) Police report attesting your patriotism and crime free citizen of your Country

Note: beneficiary(s) making use of this option must send the scan copies of the above documents along with the verification required information below. Beneficiary(s) who required invitation letter for Visa application (as  the case maybe) are required to forward the above mentioned documents scan copies via email to us to enable us process an Invitation Letter which would enable him/her obtain Visa in his/her country. claim deadline for this option is exactly 30 working days from today.

Inability for beneficiary(s) to meet up with this stipulated date either due to tight schedule, Official duties/engagement etc. may result to claim disqualification as funds will be re-used for other subsequent sweepstakes. This option is recommended to all our beneficiaries to clear doubts and unnecessary thinking as regard this Promo. This is because we have had series of complaints from individuals that people are using our company name for various forms of indecent acts. Thus, as a result of this we are advising our lucky beneficiaries to come over to our disbursement office here in Malaysia for personal prize pickup at no  cost.

2 – Bank to Bank Transfer:

Beneficiaries who can’t come down for personal Prize (Cheque) Pickup and wishes to have his/her prize via Bank transfer shall be referred to our affiliated Bank in-charge of international fund transfer . This option is an  alternative mode of payment basically arranged by the entire southeast Asia giveaway team for international beneficiaries who may not be able to travel down to Malaysia maybe due to tight schedule, Official duties/engagement, none availability of travel documents etc. which may result result to claim disqualification as previously mentioned above.

Note that the Give-Away Team Malaysia exempts itself from all related expenses when making use of this option, Our duty under this option is to deposit your prize Cheque (after issuance has been made in your favour) along with all claim backup documents (to be processed by this office) with our affiliated Bank for clearance and remittance to be carried out to your nominated bank account. This option is liable, affordable and basically designs for international beneficiaries who cannot visit us for person prize pickup.

====VERIFICATION REQUIREMENT====
***Complete the form below and send it back to us immediately via email***

First Name :…………………………………………………………………………………
Middle Name :………………………………………………………………………………
Last Name : ………………………………………………………………………………..
Date of Birth(YYY-MM-DD) :………………………………………………………….
Sex/Occupation :………………………………………………………………………….

Marital Status :……………………………………………………………………………
ADDRESS :…………………………………………………………………………………..
City/State/Province :…………………………………………………………………..
Country of Resident/Nationality:……………………………………………………
Telephone Number(s): ………………………………………………………………….
Mobile Number(s):………………………………………………………………………..
Fax Number(s):…………………………………………………………………………….
Winning E-mail: ……………………………………………………………………………
Alternate E-mail:………………………………………………………………………….
Date of Notification:……………………………………………………………………..
Ticket/ Lucky Number:………………………………………………………………….

Payment Option/Preferred Mode Of Payment.

Option 1: Personal Prize Pickup  {Yes/No} :………………

Option 2: Bank to Bank transfer  {Yes/No}  :……………….

We advice you on at this point to keep this information confidential until your prize is completely redeemed by you ,This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and impersonation by an unauthorized persons or companies which may automatically disqualify you from your prize claim.

For any question please call us on +60-10-320-2061

Once again accept our sincere congratulations!!

Sincerely,

DR. PETER AHMED.

Regional coordinator/Processing Officer,
Google Southeast Asia Disbursement Center

So, I tweeted..

http://twitter.com/#!/W_a_L_D/status/131355483993944064

Then wrote back…

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 1, 2011
Subject: Re: Google Asia alert: Your information has reached us today, kindly provided the required info.
To: Giveaway Team® Asia <googlegiveawayteam.asia@shqiptar.eu>

Hello Dr. Ahmed!

I was unaware that I had entered any lottery.  What an exciting proposition!  Unfortunately, I am no longer a citizen of any formally recognized nation, and a personal pickup may be an issue.  I have currently used most of my life savings to fly myself to the lunar surface, and need what little I have left to have supplies ferried back & forth while I continue my quest for world (and lunar) domination.  This financial windfall comes at the perfect time, and assures me that whatever deity in which you believe is on my side.

I understand that it is not your duty to pay for getting the money to me, but perhaps we can make some financial arrangement where you agree to be paid out of a portion of my winnings.  I trust that you will find this arrangement satisfactory, as I will eventually be the Emperor of the Earth (and Moon) and you probably want to stay on my good side.  I may let you continue to run state lottery operations on the moon.

Of course, once I’m in control, 70% of the money gained from the lottery will go directly to me, 30% to the winner, and of that 15% will be paid back to us in taxes.

Here is your verification form:

====VERIFICATION REQUIREMENT====
***Complete the form below and send it back to us immediately via email***

First Name : Waldo
Middle Name : L-ia (pronounced “Leh-dash-ee-ah”)
Last Name : Lunar
Date of Birth(YYY-MM-DD) : 10/31/1980
Sex/Occupation : Yes/Your Future Emperor

Marital Status : 13 wives & counting.
ADDRESS : 1313 Mockingbird Lane
City/State/Province : Sea of Tranquility, Waldominia
Country of Resident/Nationality : The Lunar Empire
Telephone Number(s): I abhor the telephone.
Mobile Number(s): Ditto.
Fax Number(s): None.  It is 2011.
Winning E-mail: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Alternate E-mail: worldandlunardomination@yahoo.com
Date of Notification: 11/01/2011
Ticket/ Lucky Number: Ticket #: 899-633/UK-11-001 with CGP # AS/MY/0010/011 drew L u c k y #: 9012-2449-4041(17)

 

Payment Option/Preferred Mode Of Payment.

Option 1: Personal Prize Pickup  {Yes/No} : No.

Option 2: Bank to Bank transfer  {Yes/No}  : No.

Option 3: Personal Delivery by Lottery Officials  {Yes/No}  : Yes!

I can’t wait to go tweet about my Google lottery winnings!  My minions will be ecstatic.  We were deciding who will be eaten first were we to run out of money and supplies.  If we need to eat someone before the prize is claimed, perhaps we’ll have our own lottery!  I’m not sure if it will be as exciting as our current Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock tournament, but general Zod will be relieved as he’s currently at the bottom!

Thank you for your congratulations & your cooperation!

Respectfully,
Your Imperial Majesty Waldo Lunar
Future Emperor of the Earth (and Moon)
World (and Lunar) Domination

They were apparently unamused, as I have received no further replies.  They will not be allowed on the moon.

W(aL)D

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