Category Archives: Mazes

Wendy’s Forgot How to Melt Cheese 🤷

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.

I forgot that I blogged about Wendy’s not that long ago by sharing a pair of glorious Google Maps reviews. I guess I blogged about them way back in 2009 too. They never replied, apparently. Maybe I pick on them too much? Like this fork fail in 2012!

Sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t… but the mazes are fun. Aren’t they? (I’m looking at you Pizza Hut! Yes, you! I saw that dirty delete. But you too, La Choy, Pepperidge Farm, Aldi, & The Potato Conglomerate!)

I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.

Wendy's Maze - They Need Help Melting Cheese

This is what I wrote…

From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA)
To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com>
Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,

I write to you today with great concern.  Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles.  The dining room is not clean.  There are no baked potatoes about ⅓ of the time when I try to order them.  Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive.  Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater. 

We should have ordered in the app.  That was my first mistake.  We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato.  After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes.  A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier  laughed, looked at  me and repeated the rather rude “NO!”  Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea.  Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.

My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single.  The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored.  In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper.  The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier.  This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID.  Who the hell pays in cash?

I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us.  I mean, at this point who is robbing who?  If necessary, I will send a check to make it right.  Do people still use checks?  Maybe I can Venmo you.

Let me add some more context.  We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries.  I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal.  Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup.  Both pumps were empty.  There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue.  I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home.  My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets.  For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream.  I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there.  I commend your commitment to quality.

Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past.  I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days.  What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw?  Cheese.

That’s right, cheese.  How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted?  American cheese too!  If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt.  I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point.  But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese?  Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill?  Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam?  Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact?  Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).

I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers?  It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.  

Also, are you OK?  How is this permissible or even passable?  Is no one from corporate checking on these locations?  Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program?  If there is, are these standards being met?  If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken.  It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare.  I am not looking for free food.  I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.

I have attached a maze for you.  It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation.  Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track.  Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine?  I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper.  It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality.  The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese.  I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings.  They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container.  I miss those days.  Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?

I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers.  🤯  What happened?  I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar.  How did we come to this?

I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far.  I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.

Inquisitively.

-Eric

—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

This is what I got back:

From: Wendy’s Customer Care <customercare@wendys.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ]
To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>

Dear Eric,

Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.

At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.

The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.

We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendy’s App, tap the ‘Offers’ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!

Regards,

The Wendy’s Company

And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.

I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:

From: Moundsville 391 <moundsville00391@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Subject: Following Up
To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>

Hello Eric, 

My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal. 

Best Regards,

Ryder

I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and 𝕏 Twitter accounts. 🤣 No response from FB Messenger, either.

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

I may have to move to snail mail.

Have any advice or similar experience?

Oh, I almost forgot. How are they going to make a burger with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns if they can’t melt cheese? This is absolute shenanigans.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes

Posted on by Standard 2
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

Well then, it’s finally here. I finished maze book number two! This one is better than the last one, I promise. The first was sort of a test run just to see how Amazon KDP works. I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone that bought that book, but this one just objectively looks better and much more time was put into its creation. It ought to be much more challenging and enjoyable, IMHO.

It’s called You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes. Thanks to @brain.d.37 on Threads for suggesting the title!

This book a collection of a bunch more larger mazes, and a few small ones that I have been drawing since late 2023. There’s no common theme other than most of the mazes have a silly vibe. A few have no vibe at all. There’s aliens, rodents, yard work, holiday stuff, rock n’ roll, a treasure map, food, retail aversion, gross stuff, & more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

I hope you consider picking up a copy for yourself, & maybe even one for a friend? If not, just sharing the link to someone who you think may enjoy it, or just sharing it in general would be awesome.

The link is https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9Y7SFXS and I’d love if you could share it, review it, favorite it or save it to a list… anything to help even if you’re not interested in a purchase. You could give me a good (or terrible) review or add it to your list on GoodReads too, if that’s your thing.

I had fun making a collage with punk ‘zine vibes for the cover. I busted out the mixed media, printed on weird paper, got two cutting, ripping, & coffee staining… and unearthed the leopard & cheetah print tape.

All of the mazes were hand-drawn, scanned in, edited (& “solved”) in paint.NET, & put together with Open Office. I haven’t stepped into the world of digital drawing yet, and I like my free programs. Someday, I’ll probably dive into GIMP a little more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Full Front & Back Cover)

I love drawing the mazes, and it’s a great creative outlet like blogging or making music or playing out live. I’m sitting on a pile of old ones that I can convert into a book… but I need to make sure they’re all solvable and do the solutions.

Find the tone! Guitar amp stack maze collage.

Some are too big to fit on my scanner, and scanning with my phone has less than desirable results… so I’m gonna have to go somewhere like a FedEx Office store and hope they can help before they all disappear. I have a problem picking up any notebook that catches my eye and is the right price, regardless of size & paper type. I like the feel & the calming of pen on paper.

Some of the ones that I have posted here in writing goofy emails/letters to companies probably can’t be included because of copyrights or trademarks when I include their products. (Unless La Choy/Conagra, Pizza Hut, Sheetz, Dollar Shave Club, Pepperidge Farm, Disney/Lucasfilm & more sign off on it, or it falls under fair use? I guess I could have included this one or these two.)

I guess I did figure this whole thing out.

Because I have been excited about this, and I made a small collage with leftover bits, I popped up some new merch designs in my TeePublic & RedBubble stores with that new collage & the book cover images. I do have some older designs there with a few of the mazes that are featured in this book too. If you have an account & follow me on either of those sites, it may help my stuff get seen a bit more. I’d appreciate any form of liking/sharing/tagging if you’re so inclined!

TeePublic "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13
RedBubble "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13

In fact, check out all these designs from or inspired by the book, you can get them on all kinds of merch at each store! (I ordered a sticker, a magnet, a coffee cup, & a hoodie so I’m already in the hole.)

Cover & Collage Designs:

Mazes featured in the book:

So, what do you think? Any of it catch your idea? Any ideas for maze merch? Think you’ll pick up a copy?

If you happen to get something, post a photo or video of yourself with it, & tag me on social media! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

AiXeLsyD13 maze T-shirts in the wild!

Posted on by Standard Reply

Well. One.

I have sold a few, but I love being tagged on social media if you get one, like this post on threads.

Made a sale & got tagged on Threads!www.threads.net/@funnypunkba…It looks neat on a T-shirt!

— ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 (@aixelsyd13.bsky.social) 2025-01-25T21:51:13.757Z
https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1883271326363996579

Check out all the stuff in my merch stores on RedBubble and TeePublic!

Hit me up on all the socials if you do buy a sticker, T-shirt, book, or anything. I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

Oh yeah, I ordered my Ohio Valley Style Pizza T-shirt, too… and a sticker & some maze stickers. They look neat on stuff!

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

TeePublic Merch Sale!

Posted on by Standard Reply

TeePublic is having a sale, and they encouraged me to spread the word. I did on various social media platforms, and Ill post those here. I’d appreciate a share if you have the time or are so inclined, and it would be cool if you’re inspired to pick something up for yourself or as a gift!

Check out http://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13 for $16 T-shirts, and other merch for up to 35% off!

There’s also always my RedBubble shop and Maze Book, too. (I’m still slowly working on a 2nd book.)

Apologies for the shameless pug, but I have to get the word out somehow. I don’t pay for advertising, as the artist profit for print-on-demand services is pretty small. If I can simply fund my creative outlets, it’s a nice lil’ personal win.

@aixelsyd13

@TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my desings in T-shirts for $16 right now, g 9ther stuff for up to 35% off. Cheoc out my stiff, get yourself a treat, or donaome holiday shopping! http://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13 #Maze #TeePublic #AiXeLsyD13 #Pizzq #Christmas #guitar #cat #turkey #banana #Thanksgiving #LEGO #witch #🦃 #🍌

♬ Father Christmas – The Kinks

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@aixelsyd13/post/DCuBGbtxwut

So, TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my art on all kinds of stuff for cheaper than usual. It's mostly mazes, but I may occasionally do other silly stuff.tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13Check out some unique stuff for yourself or for your holiday gift list! Maybe share too, please?

— ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 (@aixelsyd13.bsky.social) 2024-11-23T16:25:35.045Z
https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1860351933292150951
https://nextdoor.com/p/9JPMNSTc3rxx

Check out these other maze artists!

Posted on by Standard 3

I have been slowly working on mazes for a second book, and contemplating how to compile my stack of older ones for a third. (Some of which have definitely ended up here over the years.)

I didn’t include solutions in my first book, as they are very small and relatively easy to navigate… and I was in a rush to kind of test the process and see how the KDP model of print-on-demand publishing worked.

I reached out recently on Reddit & Facebook to solicit advice on solving mazes, and got some great insight. (Check out r/mazes on reddit if you’re so inclined, there is a bunch of cool stuff!)

I learned that I draw perhaps a little more chaotic than some of my forward-thinking fellow maze artists. I generally keep a bunch of open paths from each end, then connect them. Sometimes, what I thought was an open path… is apparently not. I even just recently learned that at least one of my mazes in my first book is impassable – oops! 🤣

@aixelsyd13

Like mazes? I like to watch others do their art, so I thought I’d share this. #AiXeLsyD13 #Maze #Mazes #Drawing #LineArt #PenAndInk #BlackAndWhite #labyrinth #art

♬ Hocus Pocus – Focus

I plan to do better with this next book, to make sure all the mazes are passable, and to include the solutions. If you have any advice for a guy that doesn’t absolutely love solving mazes to solve his own mazes, please drop it here in the comments!

In my solicitation for advice, I realized that I have been seeing a lot of fantastic work by other people over the last few decades, and not sharing any of it. Here I will rectify that. Please, check out the following!

Check out these artists on Instagram too:

That’s a super random & not complete list. Please, let me know in the comments who we should all be checking out, especially if it’s you & your projects!

Conagra Ruins Christmas.

Posted on by Standard 1

Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.

Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Nov 19 And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page: https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 19 Thank you for the reply. I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever. Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you? Did anyone at least try the maze? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror

Posted on by Standard 7

Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years: