Category Archives: Guitars

I like guitars. I’ll post about them.

I want a Turner’s guitar…

Posted on by Standard 9

Turner's Premium Iced Tea

So many delicious options.

I grew up loving Turner’s tea.  It was the thing that I bought nearly every time I went to the general store by my house.  In fact, I can probably say every time, without the “nearly”.  There was always Turner’s in the ‘fridge when I was growing up.  It’s still the drink of choice at family get-togethers.  The other night, we had a pizza delivered from A’Pizza Badamo, and I had them bring a gallon of Turner’s with the pizza & sub.

I have blogged about Turner’s before. I even wrote to them when I was much younger, asking what the “secret ingredient” was in their tea that made it so addictive.  They wrote back.  I didn’t get an answer but I did get a sweet Turner’s T-shirt (Tea-Shirt?), and a label from one of the little jugs to stick on my guitar case.  I’ve written to Giant Eagle and Market District multiple times asking them to carry Turner’s products.  I get the Moos-letter.

Turner's Tattoo

Turner

I’m not quite as hardcore as the guy who got a Turner’s tattoo, I guess.  But, I think we have successfully established that I enjoy Turner’s quite a bit.

So, do you think I can get Turner’s to endorse an Iced Tea themed guitar?  Honestly, I was just thinking to myself that I’d like a guitar that’s painted like a Turner’s iced tea carton.  It looks cool on that guy’s arm, and looks really cool on the Tea-Bird, makes a rockin’ T-shirt… so why not on a guitar?

The TeaBird is just awesome.

The Turner's Tea-Bird

The Turner's Tea-Bird

I voiced my opinion via Twitter…

http://twitter.com/#!/ErnieAndTheBert/status/108569045674110977

And on Facebook…

Seeing a Turner's Guitar Would Make Me Thirsty for Turner's!

Yhe people have spoken: Seeing a Turner's guitar would make them thirsty for Turner's!

(I had cut up a half gallon carton a long time ago to scan, render sort-of blank, and make a show flyer.  More evidence of my affinity for Turner’s?)

And got this reply on Twitter…

http://twitter.com/#!/TurnersPremiumT/status/108624210741575680

Hmm.  Possible encouragement?  Perhaps.  Who wouldn’t like one that had a tank to a backpack… like a camelbak that shot iced tea at the crowd.  Or, I could just get a beer helmet & drink Turner’s myself while on stage.

At any rate, I used KISEKAE Virtual Image Modeling System (one of the most fun online toys ever) to hastily throw together some designs:

Poorly Thrown Together Iced Tea Guitars

Poorly Thrown Together Iced Tea Guitars

Yes.  They’re ugly.  But, the colors are awesome.  Why the Les Paul shape?  Well, I have a perfectly good Epiphone that I hardly ever play… and it’s got a big chip out of the paint anyway.  It needs repainted… why not stripped & done up like this?

Well, sort of like that.  I’d like to take apart the different elements & move them around…  Maybe even get a scan of a gallon jug label or little jug label.  A tea-colored guitar with that little label in the corner might be cool.  If money were no object… I’d go for a jug or carton shaped guitar… or maybe even a Telecaster-type kit guitar that could be called the (wait for it…) Tea-Caster.  Well if money were really no object, I might even try out an Evertune bridge.

People get sponsored all the time, right?  Why not me?  Can’t hurt to ask, right?  I figured I’d present my case here, then fire off an email to Turner’s, hit them up  on Facebook, Twitter (beware the imposter!), or wherever else I can… and ask if they’d be interested in helping me fund a Turner’s guitar.  Maybe I can just cover my LP in some Turner’s stickers then throw a clear-coat over it?  Ha ha.  That’s a lot of stickers…

The next step is to find someone that does this type of work around here.  Is there a guitar “body shop” anywhere that would tackle a custom paint job like this (& do a good job)?  Any business or artist that may know what they’re doing?

Then, it’s time to get serious with design.  Any ideas?  Suggestions?  Please, submit some pictures of ideas!  At the very least, describe ’em!  What do you think?  Would a Turner’s guitar be fun?  I need something goofy to match the square guitar & the backwards guitar, right?

SHOW REVIEW: Dethlehem / The Bloody Seamen / The Approach and the Execution

Posted on by Standard 2

08/11/2011 @ Howler's

How cool is this flyer?

So, last night I broke my normal “school night” routine of hanging out at home (or at least getting home by a decent time) to check out a local show that I could not resist.  If you’ve read the blog, I’m obviously a Dethlehem fan.  In addition to those medieval fantasy knuckleheads, the Pirates that “crashed” their CD release party were on the bill; The Bloody Seamen (apparently known in some circles as The Flying Dutchmen).  I’ve been wanting to check those cats out for a while, so this alone was a no-brainer.  The other band was The Approach & The Execution.  They’re out on tour from Cleveland, OH… but we won’t hold that against them.  The place was Howler’s, and I know it well.  Bengt is a hell of a sound-guy.  I haven’t exercised my photography muscles in a while.  All of  the right ingredients added up to getting my lazy old musician behind out to a week-night show.

⚔☠⚔

☠ The Approach & The Execution ☠

The Approach & The Execution

These guys were up first, and they just ripped it all apart right out of the gate.  I’m pretty sure there were 5,692 guitars on stage and their lead cat went through all of them… even knocking one from the stage to the floor at one point.  There was screaming, there was “woah-ing”, there was shredding, there was thunderous drumming, there was harmonizing vocals, there was dueling leads, there was even muscle flexing choreography.  The one highlight of the set for me is when the one dude on vocals & guitar was playing a show soulful lead… and the dude next to him was shredding circles around it.  It was later in the set, and I hope that song’s on the CD that I picked up, The Blood March.  These guys were incredibly tight, & played really well off of each other.  Apparently they had some setbacks in the way of van trouble and had to have AAA & some friends bail ’em out.  They had a vehicle-less trailer out front.  Hopefully they make it to their next destination tonight, so they can melt the faces of the next group of new fans!  (Interestingly, I popped the CD in on the way to work this morning… and heard keyboards & a chick vocalist… neither of which were at the live show.  I’m only 3 songs in so far, but I wonder what’s up there?)

☠ The Bloody Seamen ☠

The Bloody Seamen

These dudes are hardcore.  They show up in full pirate regalia, and don’t break character easily.  I even got a “business scroll” from Captaine Blackguts when inquiring about obtaining some recorded material!  For all I know, these cats really are pirates, and have a ship docked somewhere on the Allegheny river.  (Although, the one guitar player Cheswick looks a lot like the guy from Deathmobile/The It’s Alive Show…)  This is a band of buccaneers that knows how to work a room, and work it they did.  They definitely put a gleaming sharp metal edge on some really catchy drinking songs, with fighting, fornicating, plundering, and treasure thrown in for good measure.  They seemed to cross musical genres with some straight up rock and some more funky/groovy stuff.  Any band with a guy named “pipes” that plays the accordion, what  think was a fife or some kind of small flute, and the bagpipes alongside screaming guitars is cool in my book.  These guys know what they’re doing.  I bought a T-shirt because no CD’s exist yet.  I had sort of hoped they’d bust into “Friggin’ in the Riggin’” or “Whiskey in the Jar“, but alas… they were more original than that.  I will definitely be at more of these guys’ shows.  I just hope they weren’t distracting us with awesome swashbuckling metal as the rest of their crew picked our pockets and stole our women.

☠ Dethlehem ☠

Dethlehem

Have I told you how much I hate these guys?  I mean, they have people that come out to their shows in costume.  How cool is that?  That’s fan dedication!  Bovice and Hildor make seemingly effortless movements across the fret-board that put me under a musical spell.  I wish I could unlock the secret to that power… or had the patience to practice like a madman.  Davidicus is indeed a wizard with the low-end, weaving together the ridiculous guitars and Brom’s pulverizing rhythms while managing to still have a voice of his own.  Lord Bonecrush commands your attention as he’s belting out tales of their conquests.  He even let a guest get up to help belt out “Blood Forest”.  Slaying orcs and harnessing dragons is hard work, but these guys have the time to do it, then to tell you about it.  They follow a rich oral tradition as old as the first hunter coming back and telling how he captured his prey to provide dinner for all, and you’d better appreciate it.  These warriors are going places.  I expect a cartoon series, live action movie, a graphic novel that transitions into a monthly series, and some damn stickers, patches, and pins soon.  I believe a side-quest with the Bloody Seamen is inevitable.  I vote that it gets put out on vinyl as well as digital download.

⚔☠⚔

As stated above, I got some photos from the show.  I have them up on Photobucket and will probably eventually have them all on Facebook too.

Photobucket:
Grid View | Slideshow

Facebook Photos:
The Approach & The Execution | The Bloody Seamen | Dethlehem

Here are some Photobucket highlights:

Related articles

Guitarz 2012 Calendar!

Posted on by Standard 5

Some people who read this blog may, like myself, have an appreciation for guitars.  I like the weird, the odd, the strange, & the rare.

Not Enough Batman
Not Enough Batman

Guitarz is putting together a 2012 calendar of such guitars.

These guys put together a great blog, and I’m looking forward to their calendar.  I might take an artful photo of one of my weird axes, but with only 12 months in the year mine won’t be a slam-dunk… and sadly aren’t the weirdest/rarest out there.

Take some photos of your weird/rare/beautiful guitars and send them in!

They probably won’t take this photo.  So, get your axe in gear!  (Get it?)  Submit a photo of your rare/weird/cool guitar, or take a photo of a friend’s to submit.

\m/ Roger Tullgren \m/

Posted on by Standard 1

Roger Tullgren

Roger Tullgren, Metal Lord

So, have you heard about the dude from Sweden who gets a disability check for addiction to heavy metal?

This dude is awesome.

I’m not sure if he really feels that he’s helplessly addicted to metal, or if he’s yanking the Swedish government’s proverbial crank, or what…  but dude is almost as metal as Lemmy for this insanity.

Is it a way to cheat the government?  A publicity ploy for his bands?  Does he really feel that his compulsion to attend shows, dress like a metal-head, and listen to loud music is more than just his preferred lifestyle?

I call shenanigans in that there are plenty of places to work where you can dress like a metal-head & listen to loud music.  If there was such a thing as a record store any more, I’d suggest there…  but what about a guitar store?  Stoner coffee shop?  A concert venue?  A bar?  On a road crew?  The dish-washing thing reminds me of that Poison video…

That being said, if the government is dumb enough to dole out the money… Roger & his employer would be even dumber in not taking it.  The question of their accommodation/compensation being akin to paying an Oxycontin addict for working in a pharmacy still remains, but oh well.  At least we know for sure that Black Sabbath is a powerful & dangerous gateway drug into the heavy metal lifestyle.

\mm/

Too much metal for one hand?

I’d watch a reality show or documentary about this cat.  Even better, I’d like to see it turned into a movie… somewhere between Anvil! The Story of Anvil and Airheads.  Imagine the hilarity that would ensue in 10-years worth of trying to get an addiction to metal recognized as a serious medical condition?  Not to mention, a killer soundtrack!  Are you paying attention Hollywood?  We need this story before we need a Crow or Last Dragon remake.  Sho’ nuff!  If you need a writer, I’m all about it.  I vote for Robert Downey Jr. or Johnny Depp in the lead role.

Also… can I get my money, Uncle Sam?  I’ve been going to concerts for years, buying merchandise, buying merch from small bands on tour, losing money by playing in local bands, ferociously collecting bootlegs, B-sides, & rarities for my favorite bands to satiate that completest appetite.  (Thanks RoadRunner for that US/Japan/UK bonus track crap where I buy the same album 3 times – and thanks Metallica for putting out 30 singles for each song with 17 demo/live b-sides.)  I wear t-shirts with skulls on them, and used to have blue hair.  I not only suffer form heavy metal addiction, but also a general punk rock addiction, spanning everything from horror punk to pop punk to street punk.  There’s also my hard rock addiction, which I seem to be getting over.  The bands with which I seem to have the biggest problem are…

…and all of their related bands; Guns ‘n’ Wankers, Billy No Mates, Hollywood Rose, Slash’s Snakepit, Velvet Revolver, Loaded, Danzig, Graves, Gotham Road, The Undead, …and I deserve some kind of metal for buying a Kryst The Conqueror album, Chinese Democracy, & St. Anger just to have “complete” collections.

Cover of "Airheads"

Cover of Airheads

I’d love to see Roger’s playlist, CD/Record/Cassette Tape/VHS/8-Track/DVD/MiniDisc/BluRay/LaserDisc/Whatever collection… or his ticket-stub book if he’s got one.  Who are his favorites?  I need to know!  I unfortunately am unable to check out that video linked-to from the Blabbermouth article.  I think it may have crashed their site, or it’s a bad link?

So, what do you think?  Is this guy super-awesome or super-lame?  Is he a genius, or a loser?  Is he some combo of all of the above?

Guitar Blog: The Paradox of Tone

Posted on by Standard 1

DuncanDesigned

Image via Wikipedia

Killer article about tone & the myriad of choices available today:

Guitar Blog: The Paradox of Tone

I don’t know how I missed it, it’s a rather old post… but is a great read.  I’ve gone through bouts of “I don’t care what it sounds like as long as it’s loud and dirty”… mostly to ignorance, and I’m still like that for the most part… but I do know bad tone when I hear it, at least as it stems from my guitars/amps (the rare effect), and any more I’d rather not put out bad tone… I’d like my bad playing to come through as well as possible.  Ha ha.

These are not the droids you’re looking for.

Posted on by Standard Reply

Or, maybe the are.

R2-D2: Guitar Hero
R2-D2: Guitar Hero
C-3PO Rocks
C-3PO Rocks

|-o-| [-o-] |-o-|     ( °)

Envisage Your Ideal Concert

Posted on by Standard 2

Okay.  You just found out that you’re secretly related to Oprah, and since she knows you’re a huge music fan… she’s letting you put together the concert of all concerts to celebrate.  Since you have Oprah money, you pretty much have no limit there, but you are limited to bands that are alive and actively together, or that you believe could be reasonably brought back together with a little grea$ing of the wheels.  Example… you’re probably not going to get Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite or (even the Illusions tour) lineup to get on stage together… but you probably could get Steven Tyler & Joe Perry in the same room.

Put together the whole thing…

  • The Venue: A small club?  A stadium or amphitheater?  Your living room?
  • The Run: Is it a one-night-only deal, or is this a 3-day festival?
  • The Name: Every killer show has to have a killer title.  No “w00t-stock”, please.
  • The Bands: Who’s playing & in what order?  Bonus points for linking to ’em.
  • Added Insanity: Want a 20 minute drum solo with Neil Peart & Lars Ulrich?  Want an unplugged duet with Danzig & Shakira?  Want GWAR to disembowel you on the stage?  A guitar battle between Eric Clapton and Slash?  Want all the bands to do nothing but Black Sabbath covers?  Can’t hurt to throw the idea out there!
  • Micro-Manage: If you really want to get nuts, what do you want to see in each performer’s setlist?  Either highlights or the whole thing.

I’ll think about mine while you post yours in the comments below, and in a few days or so I’ll revisit the whole idea in another blog post.  Links to bands’ websites, videos, and music strongly encouraged!

 

The Satanic Bat – Satanic Brats EP

Posted on by Standard 9

There’s lots of free music out there on the internet.  I decided to start pointing to some of it.

Sadly, bands disband.  For whatever reason, a lot of ridiculously awesome bands just peter out or implode or flat-out fall apart.  One such band is old time local rockers, The Satanic Bat.  I guess they’d be classified as stoner metal in the most generic sense of trying to pin them down.

My old band (Gasoline Dion) shared a practice space and a band member with these dudes.  (Regular readers will know I mention Dave all the time. If you have a band, check to see… Dave’s probably in it.) They even helped us record our album, but probably wouldn’t want their name attached to it.  (Maybe I’ll put that up for free in a later installment.)

These cats could (and individually still can) rock, and they had a sense of humor.  They were asked to play a Ramones tribute show… and they recorded an EP.  The resulting songs sound like Black Sabbath covering the Ramones.  Seriously.  Since I’m a big fan of both, this is one of my absolute favorites.

Mead Rock 2000 | Satanic Brat EP

Satanic Bat - Satanic Brats EP

Satanic Bat - Satanic Brats EP

Click the link or image above to go through to the old Bat blog post for details and the link to download.

TRACKLIST:

  1. Loudmouth
  2. Commando
  3. Beat on the Brat
  4. R.A.M.O.N.E.S.  (Motörhead)

For a weird anecdote… the show was played at Rugger’s with the Atomic Drops, of which Erin “Ernie” Payne was a member.  Now, Dave & Erin are my current partners in crime with Ernie and the Berts.

Other live Satanic Bat stuff is available in their old blog, I urge you to check it out if you dig this EP.  You can also buy their CD: Tales From the Southland, Tales From the Sea.

Steve & Josh went on to form Rogue Vessel.  Dave is in Dethlehem and Ernie and the Berts. Jon ended up quitting music for a while, but I hear he’s back?  Anyone have any info on that band?

At any rate, enjoy the EP… I’d love to hear what you thought of it.

Ernie and the Berts “Toybox” | Official Music Video!

Posted on by Standard 4

This was a project by our friends Jason & Terry.  Luckily, they needed a band and we were up for making a video.  I know I’m pleased with the results!

Ernie and the Berts owes these cats some thanks as well as Jonathan and Naveed for starring along with Jason & the band… and Erin and Lynn for giving up their house for a day.

Almost forgot, Brendan for helping us record this thing & his patience!

Hopefully, you dig the song and the video.  We’re (of course) interested in your thoughts/critique/reviews/compliments/criticisms/etc.!

The Dewey Deceibel FlipOut Guitar

Posted on by Standard 22

FlipOut Guitars

FlipOut Guitars

I have a problem with weird guitars.  I’m drawn to them.  I love the classic Les Paul shape and sound, but something about goofy-looking guitars really speaks to me.  I’ve blogged before about my Galveston B.B. Stone, and drooled over the fanboy/kitsch factor of the Millennium Falcon guitar.  Now, I’d like to blog about my most recent 6-string purchase… the Dewey Decibel FlipOut Guitar.

I was drawn to the goofiness when I saw it somewhere online.  I even saw it hanging in Pittsburgh Guitars once, but I had no play money at the time, and couldn’t justify getting the thing.

I bought it through ebay a while ago, as my last band (Gasoline Dion) was kind of petering itself out of existence.  I hadn’t really gotten the chance to use it on stage until recently.  It always draws out a question or admiration.  I don’t think I’ve drawn ire from anyone yet… except the expressed-yet-repressed hatred that my friend and guitar-guru Dave has toward just the general idea of the thing.

Dewey Decibel FlipOut Models

Dewey Decibel FlipOut Models

Yet despite his disdain for the abomination of an axe, Dave did help me install some GFS pickups to replace the stock ones… since I do like that beefier fat-Strat sound.  They’re some great pickups for the price.  Ernie and the Berts recently recorded a demo, and I’m quite happy with the tone coming from the guitar.  I also like the feel of the frets.  This has become my “it” guitar of the moment.

The weird thing about these guitars other than the backwards body is the color schemes and names.  I oddly enough chose the “Lit Cigarette” color scheme.  I wouldn’t mind  a black pick-guard, but I don’t think you can walk into any guitar shop and just pick one up.

Eric Aixelsyd - Dewey Decibel FlipOut Guitar Lit Cigarette

Fallout Shelter - Oct 30th, 2010

Obviously, I like the whimsical/goofy factor with this thing, and my “stage name” being ERiC AiXeLsyD, I felt that that backwards guitar should certainly fit that quite well.

I’m glad that Dewey Decibel makes this guitar, and I’m glad that I found one… or it found me.  I’d love to see photos of other FlipOuts in action.  I know they even have basses if you want some backwards bottom-end.  They may just be prototypes, their web page hasn’t changed for quite some time… and as it last stands they’re available for pre-order, “to be filled in 2005.”

If you have one of these guitars, or know someone who does… post photos!