The World Needs Airheads II.


I have blogged about the song from Airheads before, just wondering about the recording of the Reagan Youth cover song, and never really uncovered much about the specific process or the whole change of lyrics & the arrangement, but I did get some replies from various social media from Paul Cripple, Rich Wilkes, & Sean Yseult. (Rich made a really informative comment on my post here. You should check out all of his work!)

There is, however, an incredible article from The Hard Noise about how the song came to be used in the film, & how the band eventually got paid a bit for it… Which is great to know.

I recently copied an old Reddit post of mine (complete with an egregious typo) to threads, and it took off a bit: https://www.threads.net/@aixelsyd13/post/DDh7SppR64k (When is WordPress going to integrate Threads embedding without me getting a plugin?)

I have asked before, & I'll ask again;

How do we get Adam Sandler, Brendan Fraser, & Steve Buscemi to make an Airheads 2 where the plot is they break into Spotify to get paid for streaming when they learn that thanks to Nostalgia, social media, or placement in a TV show or movie, "Degenerated" has become a hit again?

Does Sandler still have his Netflix deal?

Someone, call Hollywood about this and get it done!

The Lone Rangers

After some digging, I have been suggesting the idea since at least 2015.

So, who is with me? Social media seems to be on board if you read my comments/replies. Can we get a petition or something? Or the comments here going? Or a social media campaign? Let’s get Rich Wilkes the resources he needs to do a 2nd script and get it in front of the actors! Nostalgia waves are at an all time high.

Perhaps a stupid blog post can get the ball rolling?

Is there still a Coke vs. Pepsi debate?


I don’t drink a whole lot of pop, or I try not to anyway. Friday, I ordered some Penn Station via their website. While hangry & waiting for the pickup, I externalized my internal dialogue via Threads, and boy did people get wound up. People were dropping facts about Pepsi being cheaper, calling out corporations for being complicit in everything from wars and genocide, referencing Pepsi Challenge taste tests, calling me silly for caring, agreeing, disagreeing, and just… generally all over the place.

I really don’t feel all that strongly about it, but Coke is better, for sure. Coke is the absolute best in this recipe. I think really the bit came from this guy, or this meme. There are even stickers.

People have strong opinions.

A screenshot of post engagement on Threads showing 65+K views, & more silly stats.
Absolute shenanigans.

I know there’s like 5 people that may sort of potentially see this. I hope you join in on the debate. It’s funny this took off, but this never did:

I wish I got this many hits on my maze books or merch pages! People have been buying Birdfy with my referral link though, so I thank you!

Join the discussion on Threads, or here in the comments. I welcome any and all opinions!

Check out these other maze artists!


I have been slowly working on mazes for a second book, and contemplating how to compile my stack of older ones for a third. (Some of which have definitely ended up here over the years.)

I didn’t include solutions in my first book, as they are very small and relatively easy to navigate… and I was in a rush to kind of test the process and see how the KDP model of print-on-demand publishing worked.

I reached out recently on Reddit & Facebook to solicit advice on solving mazes, and got some great insight. (Check out r/mazes on reddit if you’re so inclined, there is a bunch of cool stuff!)

I learned that I draw perhaps a little more chaotic than some of my forward-thinking fellow maze artists. I generally keep a bunch of open paths from each end, then connect them. Sometimes, what I thought was an open path… is apparently not. I even just recently learned that at least one of my mazes in my first book is impassable – oops! 🤣

@aixelsyd13

Like mazes? I like to watch others do their art, so I thought I’d share this. #AiXeLsyD13 #Maze #Mazes #Drawing #LineArt #PenAndInk #BlackAndWhite #labyrinth #art

♬ Hocus Pocus – Focus

I plan to do better with this next book, to make sure all the mazes are passable, and to include the solutions. If you have any advice for a guy that doesn’t absolutely love solving mazes to solve his own mazes, please drop it here in the comments!

In my solicitation for advice, I realized that I have been seeing a lot of fantastic work by other people over the last few decades, and not sharing any of it. Here I will rectify that. Please, check out the following!

Check out these artists on Instagram too:

That’s a super random & not complete list. Please, let me know in the comments who we should all be checking out, especially if it’s you & your projects!

Is AI music toothpaste out of the tube?


So, I guess I had no idea that AI music was as advanced as it is. I assumed the stuff I saw on social medial was from paid or sophisticated programs. I have been monkeying casually with text prompts at ChatGPT or Meta AI, and image generators at DALL-E 2, Craiyon, & in the PicsArt app for a while. Luma AI even animates photos in the creepiest way possible. I have recently started messing with Google’s Gemini, too.

While the first two AI song generators that popped up when I googled did not require me to download an app or pay any money, I was able to have them bang out a song in less than a minute. The second one even let me insert lyrics, so I used ChatGPT & Gemini to write lyrics. Of course I chose punk rock, and the subject matter was just me poorly describing the blog. This stuff is wild.

The prompt was: “World (and Lunar) Domination” a punk rock song about drawing mazes and writing goofy letters.

For some reason, I can’t seem to embed these ones. 🤷

AI Music Factory automatically spits out 2 songs from the same prompts.

All of the songs are generic pop punk, street punk, and a weird attempt at some uncanny valley-ish horns. They are formulaic pop punk, of which I could certainly be accused of doing when I was actively playing in bands. The weird part is that is not all that dissimilar from my actual creative output. The lyrics have some interesting ideas & hooks too, if I’m being honest. Does that mean I am a terrible and generic songwriter? Perhaps my lack of commercial success in that area speaks to that. 😆

Self-depreciating humor aside, I feel like I have been involved in the creation of some fun, silly, & kick-ass music, and I was never really doing it for financial gain or recognition. It was an itch that I needed to scratch. I needed to make art via punk rock.

The above songs are derivative of a thousand different punk bands, but the one vocalist sounds oddly like Bad Religion. All of it is stealing from something though. Is it scouring the whole internet? Is it using Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, Apple Music, or Amazon Music? Is it creeping on hard drives in home studios or at record companies?

I feel like this is really close to having the ability to be passed off as a real band. It even reminds me of Crotchduster,

Is it theft, or inspiration? I would not have picked up a guitar and tried to write punk rock songs if I had not heard the Ramones & the Misfits doing what they did. Led Zeppelin’s entire catalog is arguably not entirely derivative of everything that passed through Jimmy Page’s earholes. (I mean, George Lucas did the same thing with Star Wars – it was just Flash Gordon, The Seven Samurai, The Hidden Fortress, & Dune.)

It can be argued that the music is soulless. I get that. I need music to move me in some way, in order to feel that connection. There are already lots of human generated songs out there that don’t really hit me that way. It’s terrible when a song evokes no emotion. I feel that way about Nickelback, even though it’s unironically cool to like them now. Ha ha.

In keeping with the theme of this post, I also used a bunch of AI image generators with various prompts about my blog, and got some weird weird wild stuff. None of them seem to accurately display text whatsoever at all… but the compositions, colors, & design choices are interesting. Is is stolen work though?

It was said that Robin Williams was notorious for stealing bits, but I have read/heard that he was always “on,” and just pulling in ideas and churning out jokes at a constant speed… he may not have realized that his thoughts weren’t entirely his own. But then again, were they? Everything we think, say, & do is a response to our own audio & visual input. (And, all the other senses.)

If AI is putting something out, and the way it “senses” is browsing the internet, what’s wrong with that? Is it stealing because it is not alive? Is it just a tool like a paintbrush or a calculator? Is AI song generation different than loops or sampling or guitar pedals that drastically change a tone?

🤘🐈‍⬛🎸

Because every single one of my thoughts also has an incomprehensibly tangential aside, I just did this as the idea came to me while blogging:

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖌 – I had ChatGPT write those lyrics a long time ago to be silly. It deleted the chat from the history as it found the content to perhaps be “inappropriate.” Luckily I grabbed a screenshot. I just used my last freebie at AI Music Factory to make this, and unlike with the other songs, I actually downloaded the mp3’s because I find it wildly amusing. AI plays guitar better than Kerry King.

So, did I just write a song? No. But… I had the idea for one. It, much like my own artistic output, was a silly idea. (I was always sad that Gasoline Dion never completed songs that we were working on, including but not limited to “667, Across the Street From the Beast” and the ever poetic line “Let me put my meat hook in your beef curtains.”)

I just let my 10yo daughter hear the metal kitten song. She laughed and said it sounds like everything else I listen to (she’s a Taylor Swift fan). When I told her it was AI generated in under a damn minute & that ChatGPT wrote the lyrics, her eyes got wide and was all “That’s not good…”

She immediately understood the implications. Anyone could make a hit album. We could all be Milli Vanilli. Even better, you could probably create a video avatar of an artist or band. I haven’t delved into AI generated video past the tiny Luma AI clips.

Would using AI as a muse, or to flesh out partial lyric ideas be “wrong?” Are we in an era like the early days of sampling where soon someone will figure out how to give artists royalties for music or artwork being fed into AI? I know there are already cases out there. I also know you can’t copyright AI images. Not sure about music, though? I know Mötley Crüe was accused of using AI to write songs.

Will commercials, social media, radio, TV, & movies forgo traditional composers and just make their own jingles, scores, & soundtracks?

It was fun to play with, but do I like it enough that I will pay for it? I doubt it. I can’t think of a practical use for myself other than making a fictional band or something… and who would want AI generated crap content right now? If I paid to put it on streaming services (if you can even copyright it), how would that generate income or even be sustainable? Live shows would be (for now) out of the question. I don’t think it would “feel good” to put that out, like it does to release actual music you created. Maybe kids will dig AI music in the future… or our eventual robot overlords might.

Because I can’t stop, Luma AI animations of AI generated images:

OK, I went back & messed with Udio again. I found where you could pop in the kitten lyrics from Chat GPT. I do not like the output nearly as much, but it’s still pretty wild:

So, what are your thoughts on AI generated stories, art, music, & video? Are we in the wild west? Do you use any of it? If you do use it, what sites/apps, and to what end? Please, hit up the comments!

Oh yeah, those sites automatically generated videos I could download too.

The Aquabats!/The Aggrolites/Lost Again @ The Roxian Theater (Pgh) 07/08/2024


So, it’s been a long time since I have been to a punk rock show… or really any kind of show or concert. It’s been even longer since I was a regular attendee or participant in such shenanigans.

I got the opportunity to take my son to his 1st ever punk rock show on Monday at The Roxian (a place I have never been), and we had a blast watching Left Alone, The Aggrolites, & The Aquabats! Left Alone were awesome, and I have seen the Aggrolites open for Flogging Molly before so I knew they were killer. (Although, I can’t remember exactly when.)

I posted about it on FB a bit, but wanted to share it here too and see if it sparked any discussion on obtaining bootlegs (or official recordings) on shows you have attended.

Went to Setlist.fm, & made a playlist of all 3 bands’ songs last night on Amazon. We live in the FUTURE.

Check out my playlist on Amazon Music: Full Show Setlist – The Aquabats @ The Roxian 07/08/2024 with Left Alone & the Aggrolites – Set List

Although, this is slightly less cool than when I found an “Import” at CD Warehouse in Monroeville of the Bloodhound Gang at a show I saw at Metropol. I wish I had the Nerf Herder set from that night!

Somewhere, I probably still have cassette tapes of the Guns N’ Roses set from Three Rivers Stadium in the early 90s. Anyone remember those rock conventions where you could buy mad bootlegs that sounded like someone had a Radio Shack tape recorder jammed squarely up their keister?

I have legally purchased digital versions Metallica and Willie Nelson shows that I have attended. This shit ought to be standard practice for even smaller shows. I’d slap $ on top of the ticket price for a live recording of a show I attended, no problem.

Would you like to more easily be able to buy downloadable audio/video of shows or concerts that you attend? I know I would.

Looks like someone posted the sets from Monday on YouTube:

@aixelsyd13

It was a late night for my dude, but he pepped up with these songs! We were up front (at Ian’s insistence) for #LeftAlone , the middle for #TheAggrolites , then hung back for #TheAquabats ! All the bands put one hell if a great show, and it will be a killer tour. I’ll have to wade through video & post some tomorrow night too. Maybe on YouTube. #PizzaDay #RoxianTheater #Pittsburgh #🍕📆

♬ original sound – Eric Carroll

Just Say “No” to Flip-Flops!


The following is from an old Facebook post, but it still applies. Please, spread the word.

~🦶~

Dear parents,

This is a PSA: Flip-Flops are terrible. 👣

👟 If your kids (or you) are going to summer camp, church camp, day camp, play camp, rec camp, bible school or any activity that isn’t the beach, a pool, or a shower, leave the flip-flops at home. They are unacceptable footwear for just about every activity that involves placing one foot in front of the other.

Relay races, kickball, volleyball, archery, hikes, creek walks, night games, and even campfires become dangerous when flip-flops are involved. Please, douse them in gasoline, set them on fire, and never purchase another pair. 🔥

Sent with love,
Signed every camp counselor your child will ever have. 😬

I’m going to leave some proof below. Please share your Flip-Flip hate in the comments. This does not extend to sandals or Crocs, as they can be somewhat more acceptable footwear. You have to be ready to adventure at camp, and Flip-Flops are not the vehicle to that destination.

Here is an excerpt from my last letter to campers/parents:

We do have a few notes from past experience on attire.  Please remember to have shoes appropriate for games and outdoor activities at a moment’s notice.  Flip-flops or sandals are good for the shower, and that’s about it.  It would be great if you had shoes appropriate for hiking, running, and maybe an old pair for a possible creek walk.  Also, though it is sure to be hot, some long pants for hikes add an extra layer of protection against ticks and a hoodie or other light jacket will help for cool nights around a campfire.  In addition it can help to have a sleeping bag and/or sheets blankets for the bunks appropriate for warm or cool nights.

And, from past checklists I usually include to remind kids & parents what to bring & what not to bring…

□ Sneakers – 2 pairs of sneakers if possible (Flip flops or sandals don’t count unless you want Eric to have some more campfire fuel!)

□ Walking shoes (bring an extra pair, if possible)  Flip-Flops are never acceptable for any type of camp activity be it a game, archery, a creek walk, kickball, or anything other than being used as fuel for a campfire.

Let’s start a list of why we should hate flip-flops!

  • They’re not good for kickball.
  • They’re not good for hiking.
  • They’re not good for creek walks.
  • They’re not good for gaga ball.
  • They’re not good for running.
  • They’re not good for riding bikes.
  • They’re not good for climbing.
  • Burning embers from a campfire can land on your toes.
  • You can kick them off by accident.
  • They can get stuck on a multitude of things.
  • You can be super annoying, kick them off on purpose, and lose them or get them stuck.
  • They are a broken or sprained ankle waiting to happen.
  • They’re not good for that swing amusement ride.

Can you keep the list going in the comments?

Please, post more flip-flop fail videos or stories, too!

What should go on a 30 song punk rock playlist?


So, I recently got my 9yo a guitar for his birthday. We’re belaying lessons until after his current soccer and lacrosse seasons, but I will be showing him a bit. He seems to like all kinds of rock, but I was telling him how easy it is to play most punk rock. He has heard a lot of Ramones, Misfits, etc. from me… But I got the idea of putting together a punk rock playlist for him.

Well, I tend to over-do things. I started a playlist on Amazon (yeah, already have a ton of Amazon stuff and I refuse to pay for Spotify) called Punk Rock 101. It grew quickly to over 300 songs, and that was without thinking much about it. I thought that was unwieldy, and no 9yo is going to sit still even that long.

I thought it would be fun to challenge myself to come up with a 30 song punk rock playlist… that jumps subgenres and provides a CliffsNotes version of the history of punk rock.

I made up an apparently divisive graphic of only 25 punk rock band logos. Apparently this was a bad list and not at all comprehensive… even though it was not even a playlist. Punk rockers on the internet have strong opinions. I reached out on a few social media platforms and groups, mostly to no avail, save for one private FB group and r/punk on Reddit. I was told my list was junk before I even made a list! Are these hipsters masquerading as punks?

There are not many rules.

  • 1 playlist.
  • 30 songs.
  • Punk rock.

It can be a comprehensive history of punk, it can lean into one era. What would the 30 “greatest hits” of punk rock be? Does any band get more than one slot? Which songs from which bands merit entry? I kind of started with “Blitzkrieg Bop”, “Knowledge”, & “Last Caress” because I feel like those are the most covered punk rock songs that I noticed throughout the years playing shows. Do you include crust, street, oi, hardcore, proto-punk, post-punk, emo, 3rd wave ska, japunk, skate punk, pop punk, “pop punk™”, Celtic, folk punk, rockabilly/pshychobilly, cowpunk, or bands like Devo and/or the Cure? Do the Decendents and ALL or Operation Ivy and Rancid both make the cut? You may hate Blink 182 or Green Day, but they inarguably introduced many to the genre. Do the Beastie Boys make the cut with their OLD stuff? Do Motörhead or GWAR make the cut? What about Me First and the Gimme Gimmes?

Hit me up with your list and/or arguments for or against certain songs or bands here in the comments or on social media. Just try not to slag my list that I haven’t even created yet. Type it out or link me to your list. Is the list too short? Too long? Let me know.

Honestly, check the Reddit thread too, lots of people put in some killer playlists & even linked some!

Once I whittle it down, I’ll come back & post it. I’ll try to put it up on Amazon Music, Spotify, & YouTube.

Reddit:

Twitter 𝕏:

Facebook:

Instagram:

Threads:

TikTok:

@aixelsyd13

If you had to make a #punkrock playlist to explain the sound of #punk from the beginning to now, but had to cap it at 30 songs… what would you put on it? Who am I missing here? What songs would you put on it? #Punk101 #PunkHistory #PunkTop30

♬ Blitzkrieg Bop (2016 Remaster) – Ramones

BlueSky:

🤘Bring it, punk rockers & music fans! 🎸

The Meatball Club


So, yesterday I made spaghetti with homemade meatballs. Today, I wanted a meatball sub. I was thinking I still had some good buns from New Year’s day. They were not good. I had already melted the butter. The store-brand white bread was calling to me. A sandwich? No, a club.., Something worthy of shenanigans.

The Meatball Club:  A double-decker meatball sandwich on toasted white bread, teeming with tasty sauce & melted Gruyere and Swiss cheese.
Behold: The Meatball Club

It seemed to be a hit on various social media platforms, so I thought I’d share the love. If you make one, please, post the photo, tag me (@AiXelsyD13 on just about everything), and let me know how it was!

The Meatballs:

I have shared my meatball ingredient secrets a quadruple of times:

I generally don’t measure, and make them different every time. This time I fried them on medium-high in a large pan on the stove & a tiny bit of EVOO.

The Sauce:

OK, gonna level with you. I am not Italian. This is going to make some people mad. I use jarred sauce. This was the cheap Aldi stuff. Usually we get that or the Prego Three Cheese. I add brown sugar & Parmesan/Romano shake cheese. Sometimes, I even add shopped garlic, onion powder, or “Italian Seasoning.” This time it was just brown sugar and cheese. I don’t measure. I toss a little in with abandon. I like the sweetness & it cuts the acid.

The Club:

Get your stuff…

  • ¼ stick butter
  • Garlic powder
  • Onion powder
  • Parsley or (Italian Seasoning)
  • 6 or so leftover meatballs.
  • Shredded cheese (I had Gruyere & Swiss, but I would probably go for Mozzarella or Provolone, but the stuff I had was fantastic.)
  • “Shake Cheese” I had the cheap Giant Eagle brand Parmesan/Romano blend.
  • Three pieces of white bread.

Do it…

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 390° on the air fryer setting.
  2. Melt the butter w/ garlic powder, onion powder, & parsley to taste in a microwave save bowl in 30 second intervals, stirring in between until it’s a liquid.
  3. Put the bread on a baking dish, brush on the melted butter after a good stir. (I just did the top sides.)
  4. Air fry for 2 minutes, & it gets almost crispy on top, the bottom was nice and toasted.
  5. While you’re doing that nuke the meatballs & sauce on a microwave safe plate for 2 min. (or longer if needed.)
  6. Pull the toast out. (I cut the meatballs in half with a spoon then scooped them and the sauce on to two of the slices of bread.)
  7. Top the meatballs with the shredded cheese.
  8. Put the “shake cheese” on the 3rd slice of bread.
  9. Put it back in on air fry for for 4 or 5 minutes.
  10. Pull it out, assemble it like a tower of gluttony, then slice it diagonally with a giant serrated bread knife for dramatic effect.
  11. Take a photo to share & make people hungry.

That’s it. It took a little bit of time & prep, but it was worth it.

Notes:

  • If you cook & have your own meatball or sauce recipe, of course do that.
  • Use whatever kind of cheese you want, shredded, or sliced, or whatever.
  • I would guess you can use the oven on 375°-ish on a regular setting for a bit longer times, or a counter top air fryer.
  • You could also probably do all of it in the air fryer from cooking the meatballs to melting the butter if you have the appropriate vessels.
  • If you slice it in rectangles and not triangles, you are a psychopath.

Discussion:

  • If you’re out of sausage or sub buns, or hot dog buns, what are you using? Pita? Tortilla? Soft Pretzel? Dinner Rolls? Bisquick? Crescent roll dough?
  • Please, tell me in the comments how wrong it is to use jarred sauce or add brown sugar.
  • Share with me your meatball secrets.
  • Do you like the powdery shake cheese or the fancy stuff?
  • Do you make a forbidden sandwich? What is it?
  • Is this a Meatball Club, or a Meatball Melt?

This is why I had leftover meatballs:

Conagra Ruins Christmas.


Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.


Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Nov 19
And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page:  https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces

Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 19
Thank you for the reply.  I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever.  Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you?

Did anyone at least try the maze?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years: