Category Archives: Letters

The Mythical Magical McGangbang

Posted on by Standard 4

You’ve heard of the McGangBang, right?  For the uninitiated, there’s a world out there of fast food items not listed on the menu that are available for your dining pleasure (and most likely for your digestive displeasure) if you’re in the know, and if the employees are in the know.  This list from McDonald’s alone is pretty impressive.  There are many others out there.  My friend Andy used to apparently get a “Volcano” from Taco Bell, which was described to me as a burrito with everything in it.  Now that they have volcano tacos & burritos that are something else entirely, that might be an ordering issue.  If you’ve got time to kill or your interest is piqued, it’s definitely worth Googling.

At any rate, while I have raised a legitimate issue with McDonald’s, and I have gotten one response so far… I decided to use my W(aL)D email address to address a ridiculous issue with them.  So, off to the McWebform I went!  Sadly, you’re forced to pick a category… none of which exactly fits my query.   I think I posted to “McDonald’s U.S. Marketing, Promotions, and Advertising“, but it seems like my answer was brought about by the “Unsolicited Idea Policy“.  Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  On to the emails…

My original submission (via McWebform):

Hello Friends,

I was wondering if you are aware of the mythical magical McGang-Bang, and if at any time in the future, you man be adding it officially to your menu?

I believe it to be a McChicken sandwich stuffed inside a Double Cheeseburger, the new 99¢ McDouble, or even a Big Mac.  The exact specifics are a subject of hot debate, as this is a rare creature, like Bigfoot, el Chupacabra, or the Unicorn.  There is also debate on whether to discard an extra bun or down it whole.

If you do plan to offer this in the future, what would the proper spelling be?  McGangBang, McGangbang, McGang-Bang, or McGang-bang?  I could see how all options would be acceptable?

I’m not sure where the name comes from, but it sure is catchy.  (Much better than “Arch Deluxe”, no?)

I’d like to be able to go into a McDonald’s and order a McGang-Bang without being looked at like I’m crazy when it’s common knowledge among certain circles.

Thanks for your time, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the matter!

-E.

Their “we got it, we’ll get back to you” reply:

From: McDonald’s DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com
Date: Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Subject: McDonald’s Web Site Comment or Question
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Thank you for visiting McDonald’s website. Below is your email which has been submitted to McDonald’s Customer Response Center. While replies to this e-mail cannot be received, should you need to contact us again, please feel free to contact us through mcdonalds.com. Thank you.

Title: Mr.
First Name: ERiC
Last Name: AiXeLsyD
Mailing Address: ____ _______ _____ ____ __
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA
Zip: _____-____
Day Phone: 412-555-1212
Evening Phone: 412-555-1212
Contact Time: None.  Email please.
Your E-mail Address: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Comment: [What you just read above…]

Their “real” reply:

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
Date: Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 5:08 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Hello ERiC:

Thank you for contacting McDonald’s recently with your idea for a product or service that you believe would be of interest to us. We appreciate your interest in McDonald’s, but it is our company’s policy not to consider unsolicited ideas from outside the McDonald’s system. We have retained an electronic copy of your submission solely for our records.

It’s not that great ideas cannot come from people outside of McDonald’s. Each year, however, McDonald’s receives thousands of unsolicited ideas and proposals for products and services from individuals as well as companies. Because of the volume of unsolicited ideas and the difficulty of sorting out what is truly a “new” idea as opposed to a concept that has already been considered or developed by McDonald’s, we must adhere to a strict policy of not reviewing any unsolicited ideas that come from outside the McDonald’s family of employees, franchisees and approved suppliers. We realize that we may be missing out on a few good ideas, but we have had to adopt this policy for legal and business reasons.

As a result, we must decline your invitation to review your submission and hope you understand the reasons for this decision.

Again, thank you for thinking of McDonald’s.

Jessica
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6525973

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:
[You just read it above…]

Well, apparently my idea went to the wrong department, or someone that’s absolutely no fun.  I didn’t submit an idea!  I asked about a secret menu item…  Hopefully, as we’ve learned with most other web-forms, we submit again, and we get a different person responding.  Although, this looks curiously like a form letter.  Perhaps I should try again in a different category?  Should I ask for the email address of a real live person?  Perhaps I need to Google some names of high-up important McPeople and try to figure out the syntax of the company email addresses.  This worked with great success for me in the past with Boston Market.  Ha ha ha.

Also, I wondered on the Beat if putting a “Mc” in front of everything could be construed as racist?  As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, perhaps I should be taken aback by the flippant use of “Mc” in front of everything?  (By McDoanld’s, and even my own shockingly casual use.) It is after all, listed in the Racial Slur Database and in Wikipedia’s list of ethnic slurs.  Perhaps this is an idea to addressed in the future.  Dave was quick to point out though, that nothing is more racist than 365Black.  Wow.  Just…  Wow.  (…or McWow?) Also… What about leap day?  Is that a day off?

Find any of this amusing?  What’s the next step?

(Another) Message from McDonald’s USA [ref#:6502666 & ref#:6521333]

Posted on by Standard 3

I never got a reply from McDonald’s going any farther than the original “we’ll forward it to the appropriate party” email.  So, I decided to reply.  Nothing to lose, right?  Well, I couldn’t directly reply, because of the incredibly blunt “No ‘replies’ can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com” part of their email.  So, back to the McWebform I went!  I even included the fancy ref#:6502666.

Well, it apparently worked!

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 5:09:19 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA

Hello Eric:

Thank you for taking the time to re-contact McDonald’s Customer Service Center. I’m sorry you have not yet received a local response regarding your recent McDonald’s restaurant experience.

Please know we take your comments very seriously. I will immediately re-contact the franchise owner of the restaurant you visited and request that he or she follow-up with you as soon as possible.

Please be assured your complete satisfaction is our top priority. Thank you for your patience and for taking the time to re-contact McDonald’s Customer Service Center.

Jimelle
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6521333

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:

Hello,

Regarding my last message from Ashley at McDonald’s customer service… ref#:6502666

I was told not to reply to the email… hopefully that reference # can refer you to my earlier message.

I think it’s a very poor setup that you have… not being able to reply to emails.

Your message to me said “Because most McDonald’s restaurants are independently owned and operated, I have forwarded your comments to the franchise owner or local representative for follow up at the restaurant you visited. Please be assured that your comments will be investigated and, if appropriate, corrective action will be taken.

Secondly, although we did not completely meet your expectations, please know that our restaurant employees strive to maintain the highest standards of quality, service, cleanliness and value and it’s certainly nice to know that their efforts are appreciated. We want to recognize your complimentary comments and thank you for your kind words.“

Was anyone at that McDonald’s contacted?

Will I get a reply?

And, then, it was followed up by this…

From: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 7:07:00 PM
Subject: Fwd: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant

From: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 7:02 PM
Subject: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant
To: [complete@misspelling.of.my.email.address]
Dear Eric

I am the Customer Service Representative of the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant. I unfortunately did not receive your first e-mail.  Please fill me in on the situation.   I am located in the Pittsburgh area and will address all issues to the supervisors of this restaurant.
Sincerely,
Sandra Jaeger

How cool is that?  Ha ha ha.  An actual response!  Funny that it “didn’t get through” the first time.  Very funny.  Also funny that it went to a complete misspelling of my email address, those of you who have it will find it amusing.  There was a “.” where a “_” should be as well, as a few incorrect letters.  (Not transposed, incorrect.)

So, of course, I had to write back…

From: me@my.email.address
To: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 10:00:58 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant

Hello Sandra,

Thanks you for the reply!  I have always wondered if the emails that you get in reply to webforms at sites like the McDonald’s one are anything more than a standard form letter.  In reply to my first message, the response said “I have forwarded your comments to the franchise owner or local representative for follow up at the restaurant you visited.”  I had wondered if this really was the case…  Apparently not, until I took the time to reply with a second message asking if it had really gone any further.  I’m glad I took the time to follow up!

I  find it amusing that my original comments did not make it to you.  It makes me wonder how many emails remain unanswered daily when filtered through the McWebform.  This is not your problem though, as you are obviously concerned and addressing this issue now.

My original comments were regarding a visit that I had over a week ago now, in an evening stop at the McDonald’s on West Liberty Ave. in Beechview or Dormont or whatever the neighborhood may be there.

My original message was…

The crew in the place tonight seemed to be operating well, were friendly, and quickly as far as the food was concerned, but the parking lot was full of cars for the bar next door, and the men’s bathroom was disgusting.  Please see this link for a review & photos: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/23/1346713/restaurant/Far-South-South-Hills/McDonalds-Pittsburgh

That pointed to a review that I posted on UrbanSpoon.com, which you can read here…
“Sadly, had the best service there tonight in years…” by ERiC AiXeLsyD (98 reviews)
November 29, 2009 – Doesn’t like it – Small crew tonight, decent night-time crowd, stopped for a late dinner, was served relatively quickly… fries were a perfect golden color and hot… burgers were OK, super-greasy but it IS McDonald’s. We were out at an event earlier, on the way home… had to use the facilities… but they were trashed. Stall #1 had no TP dispenser, the roll was on the back of the commode, and the bowl was chock full of the stuff. Stall #2 had a broken doorknob/lock mechanism. One hand dryer was stuck on, the other didn’t work, and both urinals were full of urine. I know they can’t control flushing… but periodic checks/cleanings and some repairs might be in order.  Just when I thought this place had their stuff together for once… My advice? When stopping here, use the facilities somewhere else. 1 person likes this review

…and these are the photos referenced:

Stall #1

Stall #2

I understand that the fact that at that time of night, there’s perhaps a smaller than usual crew, and that the West Liberty Ave. location is seemingly always busy.  I have been through the drive-thru at this time of night before, and it always seems slow, though it’s thankfully not as slow as the Wendy’s right down the street.  Those people have a whole different set of issues.  My friends and I call it “The Slow Wendy’s”.

I was just wondering what kind of cleaning & maintenance policies that you have in place?  Does management or ownership do any kind of inspection or follow-up?  Do inspections my the corporation ever occur?  I mean, surely you can’t think the photos above are an acceptable presentation of your restaurant chain?

I don’t know about you, but when I “gotta go”, it’s urgent!  The urinals looked filthy, si I opted for the stalls… one was stuffed, and one had a door that wouldn’t close.  I like to do my business in private, no interruptions.  Closing doors are a good thing!  Also… the lack of a TP dispenser, & the roll just being on the back of the thing…  I cannot imagine what would have happened had I needed to use that.  I mean, how uncomfortable would it be to reach behind yourself like that after…  Well, after doing your thing?

Thank you for your time, and the follow up.  I appreciate the fact that you took the time to inquire about the issue.

Sincerely,
-Eric

Maybe I should have included a link to the Wendy’s incident?  Not yet, my friends.  Not yet. I can’t wait to see what kind of response I get this time.  I love when it gets down to a real live person in charge of something.

Mellon Arena & the Trans-Siberian Orchesrta!

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, you’ve read my Mellon Arena related Ticket Sales FAIL and Customer Service WIN blog posts, right? This is a nice conclusion to that.  Well, maybe not a conclusion, but the next in the series.  Derek was nice enough to comp us two tickets to one of the upcoming Trans-Siberian Orchestra events.  How awesome is that? I feel better getting two seats than four, and to me it’s more of a comprable show that a circus or the Harlem Globetrotters.

Here are the latest exchanges…

From: Eric Carroll me@myemailaddre.ss
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 11:16 PM
To: Derek Scalzott
Subject: Re: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

Derek,

Wow.  Thank you for the well-thought-out and explanatory reply.  It’s rare to have a cutomer-service oriented reply be so frank and sincere.  I can imagine that the tasks faced when putting on each new event are quite complicated, as the arena can be used for such a varying degree of events.

I also now understand that instead of dealing with the ushers, I should have asked to speak/deal with management.  They seemed to give us a “you can do this, but you can’t tell anyone that I said it was OK to do this” kind of vibe, if that makes any sense.  I wasn’t trying to get anyone in trouble or get more than what I felt we had paid for…  I just wanted to enjoy the show.

I would kindly accept your offer of tickets to an upcoming event.  I don’t feel that four tickets are necessary as we had only purchased two seats to the last event, but at the same time I will not look the proverbial gift-horse in the mouth.

The prospect of a circus or the Globetrotters is very cool, but I was wondering if it would be too late and or at all possible to get tickets for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra?  I noticed it in the upcoming events when looking at the Star Wars: In Concert.  I understand completely if this event doesn’t fall within the previously noted constraints, and would like to know when the next circus is coming to the arena?

Thank you again for your time and generosity.  I will be sure to spread the word that Mellon Arena is a champion of customer service.  My last Pens game was the one vs. the Bruins with the tying goal at .04 seconds to go, and the time before that was Crosby’s last hat trick… so trust me, I have a ton of recent great memories associated with Mellon Arena!

I look forward to our continued dialogue.

-Eric

See?  I can write complimentary emails too!

From: Derek Scalzott DScalzott@mellonarena.com
To: Eric Carroll me@myemailaddre.ss
Sent: Wed, December 2, 2009 10:53:45 AM
Subject: RE: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

Eric,

I have approval to offer (2) two Trans-Siberian Orchestra tickets to our 3:00 p.m. afternoon show on Wednesday, December 16th.  We have no tickets available for the evening show.

Otherwise, we can do (4) four to Harlem Globetrotters on December 26th or (4) four to the Shrine Circus, which will be here in early April.

Please let me know what you prefer and provide your mailing address and a contact phone number in case there are any mailing issues and we’ll take care of it from there.

Thanks,
Derek Scalzott
Event Coordinator
Mellon Arena
66 Mario Lemieux Place
Pittsburgh, PA 15219
email: dscalzott@mellonarena.com
phone: 412.642.2189
fax: 412.642.1905

Score!

From: Eric Carroll me@myemailaddre.ss
To: Derek Scalzott DScalzott@mellonarena.com
Sent: Wed, December 2, 2009 9:20:43 PM
Subject: Re: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

Hello again Derek,

We’ll take the two tickets to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra!  (Wow!)  We’ll have to take a half-day at work, but it will certainly be worth it!  Thank you once again for your explanation and generosity.

Here is all of my contact info:

____ _______
___ _____________ __
Pittsburgh, PA  _____-____
(___) ___-____

I really appreciate the time and effort that you’ve put into reassuring me that Mellon Arena cares about its patrons!

-Eric

Well, there you have it.  Looks like we get a free afternoon full of entertainment… now we only have to pay for parking (don’t tell me I can take the T)…  and $10 for nachos n’ Coke!

Again, there’s no mention of how or where my media-copied message was obtained, and why it was responded to in lieu of the original.  Ominous!

http://www.trans-siberian.com/

Mellon Arena – Customer Service WIN.

Posted on by Standard 8

I guess saying something does get you somewhere (other than the satisfaction of venting) sometimes.  I’m sure you read my email to Mellon Arena about the tickets we had purchased for Star Wars: In Concert… and if not, read it now!

Interestingly, in frustration, I copied my email to a few news outlets… and it had an every so slightly different subject line.  The reply that I got from Mr. Scalzott (Mellon Arena Event Coordinator) had the same subject line as the email that I sent to the news outlets… so he had to obtain the message from someone other than me.

  • To Mellon Arena Directly: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert
  • To The News Outlets: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

At any rate, a positive reply is a positive reply… so I’m happy with the outcome.  And, hopefully it’s as interesting/entertaining to you as it is to me.

There’s actually a few exchanges here, so provided you’ve read the 1st one, these should all make sense.  I’ll start with the initial reply:

From: Derek Scalzott  DScalzott@mellonarena.com
To: me@myemailaddre.ss
Sent: Tue, December 1, 2009 2:52:23 PM
Subject: RE: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

Hi, Eric –

I would like to take the time to discuss your seating situation over the phone.  Is there a number at which I may reach you?

Thank you,

Derek Scalzott
Event Coordinator
Mellon Arena
66 Mario Lemieux Place
Pittsburgh, PA 15219
email: dscalzott@mellonarena.com
phone: 412.642.2189
fax: 412.642.1905

The phone?  Ah!  My secondary response…

From: Eric Carroll  me@myemailaddre.ss
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 4:07 PM
To: Derek Scalzott  DScalzott@mellonarena.com
Subject: Re: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

Hello Derek,

Thank you for taking the time to read my message & initiate a response.  I’m not much one for phone conversations, and I’m not sure if I really have anything else to say other than what I’ve already written.  I just felt the need to express my disappointment, and that it was echoed by several other concert-goers around me.  I understand that viewpoints and seating have become an issue over the years, and that it will be (hopefully) fixed by the creation of the new building.  I’m sure that you & your staff have nothing but the best intentions when hosting an event… but sometimes things like this seem large enough to not be overlooked.

I would look forward to any comments that you may have on the matter.

Thank you,
-Eric

…And we have a coherent, intelligent, apologetic and gracious reply:

From: Derek Scalzott  DScalzott@mellonarena.com
To: me@myemailaddre.ss
Sent: Tue, December 1, 2009 4:57:12 PM
Subject: RE: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert @ Mellon Arena

Eric,

First, I thank you for taking the time to express your disappointment and, furthermore, to articulate it so clearly.  Sometimes, though it is unfortunate for both us and the occasional guest in your shoes, it takes a patron’s voice to point out an oversight on our end.

I’d like to first attempt to explain part of our procedure in order to clue you in on what happened for your own reference, elaborate on what I would have hoped to have had happen, and, then, explore our next step.

During a normal concert, one more typical than this Star Wars production, our box office works to pinpoint every seat in the house that is anything less than full-view.  Normally, a limited-view seat is one that has an obstructed view of the stage itself.  The same was done for this Star Wars show, but because the screen played an integral role in the production, the box office had to dilligently account for both the stage and screen in deciphering full-view seats from limited-view seats.  However, certain areas including your section were mistakenly labeled full-view because the stage itself was completely visible.

In an attempt to best serve our guests, we hold back a small number of tickets so that we can remedy any seating issues like this one.  Ideally, your situation would have been brought to the attention of management on the spot.  I only wish now that we would have had the opportunity to relocate you upon your discovery of the frustrating seat location.  I understand that patrons often question confronting event staff with problems, but I would certainly encourage you to feel free to voice your concerns in any building in the future!  It only helps us to make your stay better, which is our goal in the end!

Regardless, I understand that the show has come and gone and that the experience cannot be reclaimed.  Unfortunately, I am unable to refund your money for the Star Wars tickets since it has been passed along to their organization.  However, I wish to try and compensate you by inviting you back to another non-hockey event at Mellon Arena compliments of us (we do not control Pittsburgh Penguins tickets).  I am happy to offer (4) four tickets to Harlem Globetrotters, Sesame Street Live, Shrine Circus, or Disney On Ice, for example.  Please let me know if you have any interest and we will look forward to better serving you on your next visit.

Again, Eric, I apologize for the less-than-desired experience and I hope to have the opportunity to provide a better experience in the future.

Sincerely,
Derek Scalzott
Event Coordinator
Mellon Arena
66 Mario Lemieux Place
Pittsburgh, PA 15219
email: dscalzott@mellonarena.com
phone: 412.642.2189
fax: 412.642.1905

Well, I think you’ll agree that’s an awesome reply, no?  Not only does he acknowledge the problem, but explains where & how the error occurred, and how I could have perhaps handled the situation on the spot.

Sadly by the time we realized that our view was so bad, I didn’t think we had the time to remedy the situation before missing out on any of the music.  This will be a lesson to me though in how these things work.  Address the issue immediately, get immediate results.  It’s interesting to me that no money for a show can be refunded once it’s passed on to George Lucas and friends.  Ha ha ha.  Not that I was looking for monetary compensation.

Offering us 4 tickets to an upcoming event (albeit not for a hockey game which would be sweet) is over-compensating.  I didn’t do this for a refund or free stuff. I did it because I just felt that someone needed to know.  Not that I’d insult the man by turning him down…  but I don’t think the circus is coming any time soon, and it’s about the only thing on that list I’d be interested in.  The Globetrotters might be cool…  I saw those guys when I was a little kid.  Remember how they were all over Scooby-Doo back in the day?

Oh well, I’ll send off a reply and let you know what happens!

Mellon Arena – Ticket Sales FAIL.

Posted on by Standard 4

From: Eric Carroll me@myemailaddre.ss
To: Customer Service Mellon Arena info@mellonarena.com
Sent: Mon, November 30, 2009
Subject: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert

Hello Mellon Arena Customer Service & Ticket Sales,

I am taking the time to write to you this evening to express my disappointment in the sale of our seats for yesterday’s Star Wars: In Concert event at the Mellon Arena.

While I understand that we purchased the “cheap” $33 seats (two of which somehow magically totaled $93.40 instead of $66.00 for various dubious Ticket Master fees — including a “printing fee” in which I used my own paper & ink — which are not your fault), I feel that your integrity is to be called into question when considering the vantage-point from exactly where we were expected to sit throughout the show.

I would think that you would be familiar enough with your own venue to know that the seats in section E13, row M are blocked from seeing anything above a certain height at the other end of the house thanks to the lower edge of section F hanging directly above us (and directly in our field of vision). I would also think that you would know what this height is, and that the screen coming in for this particular show was being touted as “a three-story-tall, high-definition LED super-screen — one of the largest ever put on tour.“

Apparently I am quite wrong, my friends.

Please see the attached image from my cell phone so you can fully appreciate the vantage point from which we were expected to view the “live music and film elements … synchronized in order to create a full multi-media, one-of-kind Star Wars experience.” You’ll note the bluish-white line behind the orchestra that is the very bottom of the giant partially-visible screen where the movie clips played.

I can tell you that the ushers in our area got an ear-full from several other angry concert-goers (including my wife who had purchased the tickets for me as an early Christmas present). Our row had cleared out of all but 4 people by the time the 2nd song had started. I would have left also, but the concert had started, and I wasn’t about to miss any of what I could actually see by running around like a madman trying to find a seat.

I did notice several rows almost empty down to the right of the floor, while seats to the back & sides were full… surely this is a commentary on the outrageous prices charged for the show? It only made it all the more infuriating that a seat with a better vantage point sat empty during the performance.

In lieu of trying to “sneak down” into the “better” seats, at intermission, we made the trek down & back up to section F and asked an usher there for permission to sit in any unoccupied seats. We were pointed to some open seats, and several others filtered in around us with the same idea as the show came closer to starting again.

From this height, the speaker array on the right still blocked a good portion of the screen, but at least it wasn’t cut in half… and from here, we could actually see the “laser show” being projected on to the ceiling.

While I found the concert itself and exhibits throughout the arena to be an exhilarating experience, the full multimedia-experience in the arena was sadly stained by the poor choice of Mellon Arena to sell seats with a substandard view of the main event.

I have been to countless events over the years at the Mellon (& formerly the Civic) Arena — from concerts, to Penguins Games, to circuses, to I think even a truck & tractor pull with Bigfoot & USA-1 when I was a tiny young lad. They have all been great memories… and this is the only time that I have felt wronged by the venue.

I hope that you take these thoughts into consideration when selling seats for the remainder of shows throughout the last standing days of the arena. You’re making memories for people, please try to make sure that they’re positive ones, and that they’re not marred by poor logistics. I’d ask for our money (or half of our money) back if I thought it would get me anywhere, but I am more concerned about the experience than the money.

Thank you for your time, I hope that this is passed on to the appropriate parties, and I do look forward to a response.

Regards,
-Eric Carroll
me@myemailaddre.ss

The Thanksgiving Letter | AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

Posted on by Standard 1

This is just a link to the one at Awkward Family Photos.  You have to read this if you know anyone that’s over-organized and just a little out of touch with reality.  AFP is a really entertaining site, too!

It’s genius, I tell you:

This is just an excerpt…

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

Genius.

Allergies, Alliteration, and Annoyance.

Posted on by Standard 6

I didn’t like Subway’s response, so the issue has been passed along to the allergy people. I forwarded the entire conversation along with this explanatory note…

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Nov 25, 2009 at 10:55 AM
Subject: Allergy Concerns & Subway Restaurants
To: Info@aafa.org, info@worldallergy.org, info@aaaai.org, t.wirth@sfaft.org, webmaster@foodallergy.org, help@allergysupport.org, help@foodallergyadvocate.com, niaidnews@niaid.nih.gov, jlieu@aanma.org, mszegedy@aanma.org, info@faiusa.org, lmitchell@kidswithfoodallergies.org, nicole@allergicchild.com

 

Aloha Allergy Afflicted Amigos,

Please see my experience with Subway’s lack of concern for allergens and cross-contamination highlighted below, surrounded by their ensuing lack of customer service/respect. Their final unapologetic apology can be viewed on my blog.

I find their lack of concern quite disturbing. What can be done to make companies like this more aware of these issues that can be deadly for a certain percent of the population?

While shellfish is surely simple to sidestep, what about my peeps that are petrified by peanuts, terrans that are terrified by tree-nuts, friends that are fearful of fish, my mates that are mired by milk, my sidekicks that are scared of soy, or my well-wishers that are weary of wheat?

Thank you in advance for your time, and I hope you have a safe & happy Thanksgiving holiday!

Always Anti-Anaphylaxis,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

Think of the Kmart employees this holiday shopping season

Posted on by Standard 9

Heh.  In yesterday’s pre-W(aL)D Wendy’s repost, it linked to a thread on PittsburghBeat.com which in turn linked to another old thread about Kmart which eventually came to a nice conclusion.  These weren’t listed in my older pre-W(aL)D post… so I thought I’d share them individually.

I filled out the survey noted on their receipts, at www.kmartfeedback.com. Apparently someone actually reads ’em!

Quote:
From: “SM3616, Store Manager” sm3616@searshc.com
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 6:12:41 AM
Subject: InquiryEric,I am the store manager of the below mentioned Kmart store. I would like to have an opportunity to speak with you directly. I do take pride in the store and would appreciate any and all feedback you can provide me to make your next shopping experience a pleasant one. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.JODIE M. STROTHER
Store Manager #3616
Greentree, PA 15220
(412)922-3803 store
(412)922-9268 fax
________________________________Store Number: 3616

Customer Name: Eric XXXXXXX

Customer Phone: contact by email

Customer Phone (alternate): n/a

Customer Email Address: XXXXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com

Department: Customer Service Desk

Category Code: Customer Service Experience

Reason Code: General Frontend Service Issue

Situation:
SC# 0361611250800352385

The electronics department looks like someone knocked everything off the shelves, then had a dog put it all back. Pretty difficult without opposable thumbs, eh? Yes. Yes indeed. And, the dog didn’t know the alphabet in order to arrange CD’s & DVD’s either.

The cashier did not say one word to me. ONE WORD. After waiting through the ridiculous line (no other registers were open, as I was being checked out another employee lazily sauntered over to her register), the woman rang me up did not say “hello”, “hi”, “good evening”, “credit or debt”, or even “Go #*%$ yourself!”. After all my items had gone through, and I paid. I even said “Thanks” and smiled… and got absolutely no indication that I had even been heard. My wife looked at me like we were in the Twilight Zone.

Holy cow, this is ridiculous. Sadly, it’s indicative of what happens pretty much every time I go to that store. There are some other great area Kmarts, like the one in Robinson, and even the one in Bridgeville… but this one is closest to my house… What the heck is wrong with everyone who works there? Don’t they take any sort of pride in the store? Don’t the managers see what’s going on, how the store looks, how the employees behave… and why don’t they care???

I just can’t even fathom being a cashier, and not greeting people… or even acknowledging their presence. And, I can’t fathom a shift, store, or regional manager that would a. hire someone like that (let alone dozens like that); and b. let that kind of behavior slide.

***I was unable to call the customer no phone number, I did sent notification.**

So, I wrote these…

I wrote:
From: Eric _______ XXXXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com
To: “SM3616, Store Manager” sm3616@searshc.com
Sent: Monday, December 1, 2008 9:10:52 AM
Subject: Re: InquiryHello Jodie,Thank you for taking the time to contact me. I’m not sure if there’s anything further to discuss. I pretty much expressed my issues below.I can’t imagine how stressful it must be to run a store… but it seems that your Kmart is slipping in comparison to stores like the aforementioned Robinson & Bridgeville locations.

Back when we were just dating, my wife used to work at the Kmart on Route 8 just outside of Shaler (not sure of the actual neighborhood there), and the managers were on them all the time to have multiple registers open, to have the shelves stocked neatly & orderly, and they always had a lot of registers open at the front.

I just see a general lack of “give a damn” in Parkway Center. Hopefully the trend is reversing though, as this e-mail has shown me that you do indeed care about your store.

Thank you for your time,
-Eric
I wrote:
From: Eric _______ XXXXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com
To: Customer Service Kmart.com help@customerservice.kmart.com
Sent: Monday, December 1, 2008 10:07:05 AM
Subject: Re: Store Manager SM3616 / JODIE M. STROTHERHello,I’d like to just pass on the e-mail below, & show my appreciation for this store manager taking the time to contact me regarding my comments made via kmartfeedback.com as noted on my store receipt. Can someone let her superiors know that her time and effort did not go unnoticed?Hopefully she can pass the message of store pride on to the employees.

Thank you,
-Eric

Hmm, I got a response…

JODIE M. STROTHER wrote:
From: “SM3616, Store Manager” sm3616@searshc.com
To: Eric _______ XXXXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 7:05:00 AM
Subject: RE: InquiryEric,Stressful is a word that doesn’t even describe what retail is nowadays. However, I do take pride in the store and at times it does get out of control. I appreciate feedback any way it comes. We strive to do our best with the personnel in the store. It does fall apart at times and we are working hard at correcting those problems.
Just keep us on your shopping list this year and let us try to show you we are looking at alternative ways to improve your shopping experience.Happy holidays and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

JODIE M. STROTHER
Store Manager #3616
Greentree, PA 15220
(412)922-3803 store
(412)922-9268 fax

________________________________

I found this to be a fairly positive response.  I can’t imagine trying to manage a group of people who generally do not care.

This is the icing on the cake though…

AiXeLsyD13 wrote:
Remember my Kmart rant? Bethany was in there not too long ago, walked by the electronics section and said it’s all neat & orderly…..and the cashier greeted her. Laughing

Subway®: “First, allow me to apologize.”

Posted on by Standard 4

So, I fired off two more emails…  One to Subway, and one to my new friend Mr. Jones at Quiznos.  No response from Mr. Jones yet, but we do have one from Subway.  I’ll share it all below!

OK, so email one, to Subway:

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
To: “Bridenbaker, Mack” m.bridenbaker@sfaft.org
Cc: Paula Gomez gomez_p@subway.com; Kevin Kane kane_k@subway.com; Anna Marie Seeley seeley_a@subway.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 10:24:20 AM
Subject: Re: Subway [Customer ID: 1918316]

Hello Mr. Bridenbaker,

It’s been over a week since your email to me saying that Ms. Gomez would address my concerns and I’ve yet to see any sort of response.  I still haven’t had a reply to my initial message to Ms. Seely, or  from anyone on your team.  I’m disappointed in the lack of comment overall, my first message which was sent on Oct. 28th has still gone unanswered.

I now understand why the employees in your stores have an “I don’t care” attitude.  It trickles down from the top, and certainly must be passed on in franchise owners, hiring, & training.

I’m amazed at your total lack of concern for the decline of your once championing establishment.  I should perhaps pass on my shellfish allergen and cross-contamination concerns to some allergy awareness groups.  Perhaps allergy awareness lobbyists will warrant some attention.  Everyone I know already hates Jared and the $5 footlong commercials, so I don’t need to push the issue on that one.  The concept of cheese tessellation will obviously elude the average sandwich artist from now until the end of time, so we have no hope there.

Perhaps in copying Quiznos’ idea of toasting subs, you should also adopt their business model in using better quality ingredients and customer service policies.  I have had a continued dialog with them regarding your lack of customer service and their seemingly misleading Toasty Torpedo ads with the very tiny hands.  They proudly stand behind their ads (however creepy), their innovation, and their customer service.

Not signed.  On purpose.  Notice all the Cc’s, everyone hates that… I don’t care who you are.   I tried to poke at every issue and make empty useless claims about allergy awareness groups, and I brought up that Quiznos is the trend-setter while noting that they’re also not perfect.

And, on a friendlier note to Quiznos, I decided to reveal my intentions to an amicable Mr. Jones:

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 9:22 AM
Subject: Re: The Quiznos Toasty TorpedoT ads?
To: “Jones, Tony” TJones2@quiznos.com

Thanks Tony,

I must confess, I do have a blog and I have been chronicling my email escapades there.  I like to play them as part consumer advocacy, part humor and all goofy.  I used to write snail mail letters, but email has made it so much easier & faster.  Some friends have encouraged me to keep writing, so I have.  I really enjoy the open & honest dialogue that we have going on, and appreciate that you stand behind the product & integrity of your company… and take the time to respond to emails such as mine.  Also, you obviously have a sense of humor, which has to be a “must” for any kind of customer interaction.  I’m sure you get goofier emails and phone calls from actual crazy people.

I’m intrigued at your suggestion that I get into consulting or franchise journalism.  Do you know how I would even go about this?  Would I need to obtain a degree in something?  I hope to grab followers to my blog just for amusement, but am unaware as to how to make it a profitable venture, ha ha ha.

Thank you once again for your time, I’m actually waiting to hear from some of your Quiznos colleagues, and Subway has still not given me a response beyond “someone will respond”… not that I’m at all surprised by that at this point.

Rock on!
-Eric

Hopefully he writes back in a positive light, and still finds all of this amusing.  Still waiting for further comment from his other colleagues, none of which have really delivered so far.

And, now, the fun part… Subway’s response (or lack thereof):

From: asksubway@subway.com
Date: Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Subject: Subway
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Monday, November 23, 2009

Dear Mr Aixelsyd:

First, allow me to apologize. Secondly, I would like to thank you for taking the time to contact us and share your comments.

At each SUBWAY® restaurant, it is the goal of every owner; manager and employee to produce each sandwich and salad properly made to order.

Our customers provide us with valuable input, which we use to improve our operations. Your comments were shared with the regional office in your area as well as the owner of the SUBWAY® restaurant that you have visited.  Since all restaurants are individually owned and operated it is the owner who would be the person to contact you in response to your concern.

I have gone ahead and copied our Training Department so that further lessons can be addressed with owners and their employees on proper handling.

Again, I appreciate you taking the time to contact us. SUBWAY® looks forward to your continued visits.

Sincerely,

Paula Gomez

Heh.  “First, allow me to apologize” not followed by an apology is extremely profound, and hopefully intentional.  Then, she thanks me for writing, probably through gritted teeth.

This line reeks of copy & paste:  “At each SUBWAY® restaurant, it is the goal of every owner; manager and employee to produce each sandwich and salad properly made to order.”

And, I love the long winded “it wasn’t me”/”it’s not my fault”/”it’s not my problem”:  “Your comments were shared with the regional office in your area as well as the owner of the SUBWAY® restaurant that you have visited.  Since all restaurants are individually owned and operated it is the owner who would be the person to contact you in response to your concern.”  Basically, she’s telling me that I’m being ignored by a lower level.

“I have gone ahead and copied our Training Department so that further lessons can be addressed with owners and their employees on proper handling.”  With what?  Cross-contamination?  Cleanliness?  Cheese tessellation? How to reply to customer emails?

“SUBWAY® looks forward to your continued visits” …so we can spit in your food?  Did she read my emails?  Perhaps this whole thing is just a reading comprehension issue.  I find it amusing that the e Subway spokesperson declined to comment.  Perhaps now is the time to move into old-school W(aL)D mode, and reply that Subway will not be allowed on the moon when I’m emperor.

Are there any psychologists or psychiatrists out there reading this?  I’d love to get your take (…if you can tell me without telling me what my own problems are, ha ha ha).

If you haven’t been following,you may want to check out the back-story rundown here:  If we’re keeping score, that’s Subway 1 and Quiznos 3½. That should explain the last email, and at the bottom there’s a rundown of all the ones that came before it (with links) if you’re interested.

Also… lots of people have been telling me they’re following… by word of mouth, or Facebook, or Twitter, and even via text message… but I beg you, if you’re reading… post a comment here, and others may have a comment about your comment.  I see by the stats that people are reading.  Don’t be shy.  We’re all friends here.  Except for you, people at Subway… Except for you.

Customer ID: 1918316

Fan Mail?

Posted on by Standard Reply

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination
Date: Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Subject: Re: W(aL)D [Fan Mail?]
To: Tommy Horner tommyboy489

Dear Mr. Horner (a.k.a. The Moon),

I have it on good authority that you are indeed made of green cheese… and that you are most definitely not the moon. I will reserve any comments on your equatorial radius and lack of testicles. While I am indeed old, science progresses at a rate where age may be rendered irrelevant in the near future… thus ensuring more time for me to complete my total World (and Lunar) Domination.

If you keep up this behavior, you will most certainly not be allowed on the moon.

Although, I’m guessing from my blog stats that you have been one of the people exploring my old W(aL)D files. Too bad the beginnings were wiped out in one of the great PittsburghBeat.com crashes. For this studious devotion, your feeble attempts at threatening me will be forgiven. Perhaps one day, you can work up to a position of merit in the W(aL)D army.

Perhaps I need to ramp up the efforts to my World (and Lunar) Domination campaign? Maybe I will need to enlist some generals once again to help in the effort.

I also appreciate your taking the time to write to me, and encourage you to comment on the blogs that you find amusing. There’s no need to login. Just pop in our name, email address, and a URL if so inclined. Use Gravatar or a WordPress account if you want your photo to show up.

Your future Emperor of the Earth (and Moon),
-ERiC AiXeLsyD
W(aL)D

On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 10:59 AM, Tommy Horner tommyboy489 wrote:

The Moon
238,855 Miles away, and rising in the East
Earth, Milky Way Galaxy 27743

Dear Mr. AiXeLsyD,

I, For one, am highly offended by your eventual plans to dominate both myself, and the Earth. First of all, may I remind you that my Equatorial radius alone is 1,738.14 km. Roughly 0.273 Earths. Dominating me is out of the question, for I am bigger than you and wars on the Moon are settled by spirited rounds of Roshambo, South Park style (The Moon receives comcast cable). I have no balls, therefore defeating me is virtually impossible. I also often refer to myself in the third person, which makes the Moon awesome by default. In Conclusion, give up your silly dreams. You are too old for a human, and in your attempt I shall crush you!

Sincerely,

The Moon (Ya Dig?!?)