Category Archives: Life

Pizza Hut actually █████████ to a █████ but then ███████ it.

Posted on by Standard 8

I tweeted this…

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/195873642356281344

They tweeted this…

https://twitter.com/#!/pizzahut/status/195944183775756289

(They have since deleted it.)

I tweeted this…

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/195996342273839106

Of course, this was all in reference to my apparently infamous maze.  We’ll see if we get a reply.  I’m guessing not, since they deleted their tweet.

Wow.  Do they have an internal policy regarding not answering me?  Holy cow, that is so funny.  Luckily I have a screenshot show that the tweet did indeed exist.

@PizzaHut | @AiXeLsyD13 how humorously cool! We’ll relay this information to our internal team.

Fantastic.

I caught your tweet, Pizza Hut!  Ha ha.  You responded to me.  I win.

I almost forgot, they never responded to this either:

Hey Pizza Hut, my guts are not a water park!

Do you think they "get" that it makes me poop?

I still don’t think they can tell me where, why, or how their sauce comes into contact with shellfish.

…or why it makes me poop like no tomorrow.  Perhaps they deleted their Tweet when they “got” the toilet joke.  Ha ha.

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Arby’s Tries Again…

Posted on by Standard 12

Tom Arnold | Arby's Oven MittToday there was a nice little squishy bubble pack in the mailbox when I got home.  It had my name on it and appeared to be from Arby’s again.  More neat stuff from Arby’s?  What could it be?  A hat?  A T-shirt?  An oven mitt that talks like Tom Arnold when you press a button?  (Actually, that would be pretty neat.)

Nope, this was a different kind of squishy.  I got a post card from a Cherelle Flowers at Arby’s HQ in Atlanta.  Cherelle apparently works in Arby’s Customer Relations but doesn’t communicate with Arby’s President Hala Moddelmog who just sent me an entire case of Bronco Berry Sauce.  In with the postcard where several leaking square packets of Bronco Berry Sauce:

Your recent feedback is greatly appreciated. | We hope your next visit to Arby's® exceeds your expectations. | Regards, | Cherelle Flowers | Arby's Customer Relations | Arby's It's GOOD MOOD FOOD™

It's a Bronco Berry Bloodbath!

I hope it wasn’t intentional.  It’s like a mini version of the horse-head scene in The Godfather.  I mean, the card is sort of impersonal, but the gesture is nice when the sentiment isn’t stained with blood red not-really-berry sauce.  It’s unsettling to open such a package.  It almost looks like a threat.

I’m guessing that given Arby’s’ track record, it’s not a threat and it’s yet another genuine attempt to keep a goofy customer happy.  I have no idea if this generated from their web contact form, or Twitter, or what.  I would have maybe liked a more personal letter (again like the incredible one from Ms. Moddlemog), and the United States Postal Service to have handled my package with more care.  Ha.  Handled my package.  But, I’ll settle for free stuff… even if there are only 2 unmolested packets.

I did notice it was addressed to me, and not Bronco Jalapeño.  I also noticed that these packets are rectangular… where the other ones are circles.  Clearly, there is more than one source for Bronco Berry Sauce.  Where is it my friends?  Can I find it?  Can I buy direct?  Can I get the recipe?

I need a job where I can reply to goofy emails all day, and send people cool free swag… or gooey free swag.

So, what do you think of this effort?  I have scored many awesome freebies, but I still don’t have jalapeño bites being served at Arby’s in Pittsburgh.  Is this a fail?  Do we still need a protest song?

Should I complain to the post office about this?

If you have no idea what’s going on, check out these posts:

  1. Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®
  2. OCCUPY ARBY’S
  3. You may call me… “Bronco Jalapeño”
  4. Conflicting Information from Arby’s… (Help Bronco Jalapeño write a song!)
  5. Bronco Jalapeño Rides Again!
  6. Bronco Scores Again!

In other news, I think I have an idea for a contest where the winner can get some Bronco Berry Sauce.  Stay tuned for details!

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Leaving Early

Posted on by Standard 3

I’ve noticed a trend of people leaving early at punk rock shows and at hockey games.  I’m sure it’s happening other places too. It’s glaringly obvious that as a society our attention spans are shortening while our focus hones in on our own satisfaction.  I guess I’ll have to give into the trend.

Here’s my list of more suggested places to leave early…

  1. When Dining Out – Order something you don’t like for dessert, then leave before it gets there because you don’t want it anyway.  Brave diners can also skip paying the bill.
  2. The Doctor’s Office – No clocks in the waiting room?  Making you routinely wait for an hour later than your scheduled appointment time, yet whining if you’re 10 minutes late?  Leave before the doctor gets there, you probably don’t want to hear the results anyway.
  3. The Movies – They’re all remakes any more anyway.  Haven’t you already seen this?  You know how it’s going to end.  Chances are you’re texting or even talking on your phone the whole time anyway.
  4. Church – Just getting in the door counts, right?  Leave before all that pesky sermon about morals and other nonsense… and get to the local diner/brunch buffet before everyone else!
  5. Work – Eight hours?  That’s just crazy.

Have any more suggestions?

Dine & Dash!

What the hell is this?

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Bronco Scores Again!

Posted on by Standard 9

Well, I didn’t get Jalapeño Bites back at Arby’s yet, but I did answer a tweet from Radio Shack… and it got me a free T-shirt and some moral support for the cause!  Messing around on Twitter & insanity are well rewarded these days, I guess.

https://twitter.com/#!/RadioShack/status/190424115423887361
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/190425836485218304
https://twitter.com/#!/RadioShack/status/190454336034308097

I DM’ed them and told them of me real name and my cause.  I think more companies are engaging people personally & directly with Twitter like this, and it’s a great thing.  Who doesn’t like free stuff?

Today the mailman delivered some goodies…

Bronco Jalapeño wins a Radio Shack T-shirt!

Free stuff!

The card s pretty cool too!

Eric, While this shirt can't replace Arby's jalapeño poppers, we hope it comforts you through your withdrawal. Thanks for tweeting at us and for being a fan. Tweet us a pic of your new duds when your shirt gets there. Thanks again! - Billy

@Bronco_Jalapeno #ThanksRadioShack...? Yes, yes he does.

Hilarious.  How fun is that?  I do need some soldering stuff, I guess it’s off to Radio Shack for the stuff next time I need it!  (I might get a couple of capacitors to mess around with.)

So, thanks to Radio Shack for being cool, for the laugh, & for the T-shirt!

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Khan Movie Night?

Posted on by Standard 8

KHAN!OK, Star Wars, Batman, and Indiana Jones nights have gone well.  I’d eventually like to do a Back to the Future day long event or series too.  I’m wondering how many people would be into a Khan movie night?

Ricardo Montalban first appeared as Khan in the Start Trek original series‘  Space Seed episode.  He reprized his role 15 years later in the movie Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Khan is a favorite in the Star Trek universe, and I thought it might jump-start an interest in the Star Trek series, or at least the movie Fanboys.

Space Seed - Khan & Kirk

"It has been said that social occasions are only warfare concealed." - Khan

I was just going to wait for an afternoon or evening by myself to pop these in… but then thought, why not make it another movie night?  I think we can watch Space Seed thanks to Netflix, and I have the movie on Blu-ray.

Khan’s just a badass, and the eugenics wars are a really gripping concept.  I also thought it would be fun to see all of the contrasts between the TV show from the 60s and the movie from the 80s and how the actors, characters, & designs changed over time.

Would you dig it?

Ricardo Montalban Khan Star Trek 2

"No, Kirk. The game's not over. To the last I will grapple with thee!"

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I need something to put my junk in.

Posted on by Standard 6

So, recently I’ve been thinking about getting some sort of messenger bag to keep some stuff in.  Let the jokes begin.  I know I have made fun of the vaunted murse before.  Hipsters everywhere would have admonished my belittling of their manbags.

Jim Dunlop Tortex Fin Pick 1.14mm (Purple)I just have too much stuff in my pockets.  Here’s an inventory for you right now…

I’ve also been carrying around my leather coat that’s like my own personal medicine cabinet.  It’s too hot to be carrying around a leather jacket, and the stuff is too bulky for hoodie pockets.  (It’ll be too hot to wear those soon, too.)  It usually has…

  • Daily stomach medicine
  • “Calm down if I need it” medicine

And right now some…

This is clearly getting out of hand.  I’m not sure what to do, but I need to do something.  There’s an old Dennis the Menace cartoon (or the TV show or a movie) where he empties his pockets and it’s a never-ending pile of stuff.  I feel like that, without the slingshot or overalls.

I joked with my wife one night that I needed a purse to keep all my stuff in.  Then I kept thinking that it might not be a bad idea to get a bookbag or something.  I have a nice backpack for the laptop… but I don’t have the need to carry the laptop anywhere daily.

I did take the discussion to Twitter, and gained encouragement from @allergicgirl, @VickysMama & @kyledine.

https://twitter.com/#!/kyledine/status/191867530833428481
https://twitter.com/#!/kyledine/status/190908291054977024
https://twitter.com/#!/allergicgirl/status/190866006305013760
https://twitter.com/#!/allergicgirl/status/191142565410635777

I feel like if I had a backpack, I’d be obligated to fill it with stuff.  I could fill a messenger bag with a bunch of stuff easily.  A multi-tool, an mp3 player, maybe a tablet & more pens.

I could get a small one, like Indiana Jones.  I fear I’d look more like Alan from The Hangover.  Big?  Small?  Leather?  Suede?  Canvas?  Nylon?  Patches?  No Patches?  (I could go the safety-pin, 1″ button, patch route.)  So many decisions.

Perception vs. Reality?

Perception vs. Reality?

My wife, Bethany, seems to think I won’t carry it, might lose it, or that the infatuation would quickly wear off.  Maybe she just doesn’t want  a husband that carries a purse?

I don’t see the fanny pack or those epi pen belt holders as an option.  Maybe a leg one?  And maybe a small pill box?

What do you think?

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The itch that wouldn’t die.

Posted on by Standard 5

Black & White Cat Scratching EarSo last Friday or Saturday, my back started itching.  It wasn’t a bug-bite itch.  It didn’t seem like a dry skin itch.  The closest thing I could equate it to is that feeling when you get a haircut and those stray clippered hairs that they couldn’t blow away with the hair-dryer or brush away with that tickling brush jab at you until you can get home & get a proper shower.  I just assumed it was dry skin, & asked my lovely wife to hook me up with some of the plethora of lotions in the house (ask me about her Bath & Bodyworks addiction some time).  She graciously applied some non-smelly Aveeno & confirmed that there wasn’t a rash or anything.

At least, that’s what we thought.

Cat getting back scratchedThrough the week it didn’t seem to subside.  I used some Benadryl one night to go to sleep, and we switched to Eucerin and then to some weird stinky pink (and ridiculously expensive) Aveeno Oatmeal lotion.  I Googled “itch without rash” to some benign and some alarming results.  It’s never good to search for afflictions online because common symptoms of everything lead to you dying of some unheard of horrible disease.

The itch had spread to my chest eventually, by again we couldn’t see any kind of rash or hives.  My skin was obviously hydrated to the touch thanks to the lotion(s), so dry skin couldn’t be the answer.  I was starting to think it might even be nerves.  It wasn’t constant, it’s just intermittent & weird.

We figured it couldn’t be too horrible as the wife didn’t “catch” anything, so it probably wasn’t some gross fungus or bugs or anything you’d see in a sci-fi movie.

Cat trying to scratch ear through coneI finally broke down & went to Med Express on Saturday.  (I hate missing work for doctor’s appointments, and Med Express was so easy to get in & out.)  The nurse-practitioner there did see a rash under her light… called it “micro-” something “dermatitis”, & the printout they gave me says “contact dermatitis“.  She gave me a steroid to take for 5 days, & said to keep using the Eucerin.  As weird as it sounds I was relieved that it was an actual rash & not all in my head or anything.  She also recommended Claritin instead of Benadryl as it apparently has less knock-you-out type side effects.

I’m still a little itchy occasionally, but I can hopefully see an end in sight.  Hope the Prednisone works!

Cat scratching another cat's back...She said I might be allergic to something, and may have to start some detective work.  If it was laundry detergent or fabric softener, it would most likely be on my thighs too… and it’s not yet.  Plus, we’re on the end of the detergent bottle & fabric softener sheet box… I would have thought it would have affected me by now.  I did try some new generic soap, but it stunk (literally & latherally) … so I stopped using it.  I don’t think that was it.  I don’t have any new shirts that I wore that I can remember.  It’s quite maddening.  I wonder if it was something I ate or a medicine… but I’ve been on my stomach stuff for a while now, & there’s nothing new.

Fat cat can't scratch his itchy ear...Has this happened to any of my other food allergy friends or their family?  I have little to no experience with allergic rashes… other than a minor itch caused by wool… but I generally stay away from wool clothing or blankets… and my (minor) allergies to wool, cats, & dogs for some reason tend to give me sniffles not a rash.  And with shellfish, I guess there’s a rash, but the whole throat-closing thing kind of eclipses that.

Any advice on how to find the culprit?  (Especially if it should return, provided it actually does clear-up.)  Any advice on home remedies or alternate things too sooth an itch that might work better than the Eucerin & Claritin?

Many thanks in advance!

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What’s in Cheerios that’s also in pee?

Posted on by Standard 10

Cheerios

Cheeri-uh-ohs.

TMI Alert! Sometimes, my pee smells like Cheerios.  I bet yours occasionally does too.  It happens when you’re dehydrated.

I don’t eat Cheerios that often, but if I did… I might stop.  I don’t know if the generic Cheerios smell like that too, or if it’s just the original.

I might need a scientist to chime in here.  What is the common ingredient?  More importantly why do Cheerios and urine share an ingredient?  Why does it smell like that?

Not so cheery O's.

Not so cheery O's.

It’s just crazy to me.

Why would I want to eat something that smells like urine?  Didn’t anyone at the Cheerios factory ever think “Wow, it smells like pee in here?”

Seriously.  I need answers.  Cheerios doesn’t answer tweets, I guess.  I’m also guessing that they probably won’t address my concerns.  They don’t address this issue on their Q&A page.  There’s not even a submit button on their contact page.  Well, there is, but it disappears after you fill out all the fields…

What's My Pee Telling Me?

Dr. Stool Might Know?

Can anyone in the medical community chime in here?

I understand that if my pee smells like Cheerios, that I need to drink more water, but again… why would my pee smell like Cheerios, and why on earth would Cheerios smell like pee?

What’s in my pee that’s also in Cheerios generating that smell?

This is crazier than the whole asparagus thing.

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Gig Checklists

Posted on by Standard 11

Jim Dunlop Tortex Fin PicksInspired by a post called Gig Preparation, I thought I’d make some checklists.  I think we’ll need one (and a half) for our stuff, one for setting up the gig, and one for doing stuff at the gig.  The lists would change depending on who’s working the gig or who set it up, but you should be able to help with the flow of things even if you’re not the organizer.  This is also from the point of view of a guitar player, because that’s all I’ve ever been.  I’m guessing it would be the same for a bass player & quite similar for a drummer.

Gig Checklists…

-·♠·-

Before the gig:

☐ Get all the details in order:

☐ The bands
☐ The place
☐ The time
☐ The price
☐ All ages or 21+
☐ Is it a benefit?
☐ Any specials if it’s a bar?
☐ Selling tickets?

.
☐ Promote!

☐ …using social media – Link the crap out of details/event pages.
☐ Flyers – Hang ’em up, pass ’em out.
☐ Word of mouth

.
☐ Communicate with the other bands…

☐ Sharing equipment? – Cut down on changeovers between bands.
☐ Playing order?

.
☐ Do you need your own door person?

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]


Stuff to take:

☐ Guitar – In a case or gig bag, I actually saw a guy use a bath-towel once.
☐ Backup guitar(s) – Don’t kill the show when you break a string.
☐ Amp head & cab (or combo)
☐ The merch box(es)
☐ Your gig backpack or briefcase. (“What’s that.” you ask? Keep reading!)

.

|·| |·| |·| |·| | |:|  |  | · |   | · |   | · |  | · |   |   |

.

An acoustic guitar string. 0.044-inch (1.117 m...I make sure to have my backpack full o’ stuff with me at every gig.  Over the years, every item in it has proved useful and one time or another.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

In The Gig Backpack or Briefcase:

☐ Tuner (Get a pedal one, so no one can hear you tune.)
☐ Wireless system (Certainly not a necessity, but fun.)
☐ 9V battery (Are the lithium ones OK for pedals?)
☐ Guitar cables (1 more than you need)
☐ Speaker cables (1 more than you need)
☐ Strings (At least a full set, …any leftovers you’ve got should be in there.)
☐ Extra power cord
☐ Power Strip (w/ Circuit Breaker)
☐ 3-Prong to 2-Prong adapter (or 2)
☐ Duct Tape or Gaff Tape (or both… Gaff doesn’t leave a mess.)
☐ Tablet (Setlists, Merch Prices, Boredom)
☐ A sharpie or 2 (Setlists, Rock Star Autographs)
☐ A Leatherman-type tool. (Crazy or not-so crazy.)
☐ Guitar picks (I use Jim Dunlop Fins.)
☐ An Extra Strap
☐ Flashlight (A really bright one helps)
☐ Extension Cord

[::( )::]

Stuff that I don’t have, but might be a good idea…

☐ Pedal(s) – Wah, Distortion, Foot Switch, Etc.
☐ Mic clip(s)
☐ String Winder
☐ Pick strip or holder
☐ Slide / eBow / Capo
☐ Strap locks
☐ Trem poker
☐ Ear plugs
☐ Nail clippers
☐ acetaminophen / ibuprofen / aspirin
☐ Band-aids
☐ Cloth or towel

.

\m/_(-_-)_\m/

At the gig:

☐ Set stuff on the stage for the 1st band & any bands sharing
☐ Backline the “main” act if there is one & set up in front of them.
☐ Tune (Silently! – No one likes the tuning song! – Tune your backup guitar too.)
☐ Let the Sound Technician do their job.
☐ Set up a Merch Table/Corner/Counter/Box.
☐ Put your door person at the door.
☐ Using a setlist? Reach into that backpack & get one made!
☐ Have a drink? Water, Beer, or something harder.
☐ Tune Again (Silently! – No one likes the tuning song!)
☐ Unless you’re awesome & have a tech, get a string-wingman.

.

웃웃웃웃웃웃웃웃웃

Danelectro Vintage Power Source A cool looking...

I’m sure there’s stuff I’m forgetting, but I think this is a pretty decent start.  What do you think I’m missing from the list?  Do you have an emergency gig kit?  What’s in it?

D'Andrea Gmk1 Guitar Cleaner Maintenance Kit

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Share your food allergy story to help a student [from Allergy Eats]

Posted on by Standard 2

Allergy Eats Logo

Share your food allergy story to help a student

I haven’t posted about food allergies in a while.  I guess nothing has “set me off”. I guess that’s a good thing, right?  This is a good share though… You can help spread Food Allergy Awareness by helping this student put together a presentation for her sociology class using your stories.

This was the initial message to Paul at Allergy Eats:

Hey Paul,

I’m doing a presentation in my sociology class about the social impact and quality of life of food allergies on children, teens, and young adults. I was wondering if you could put on the website a place where people could talk about the impact FA have on them and/or their children? I’m also looking for how it impacts the family members and close friends of the FA individual.

Thanks!

You can get more details on how to share your story here: Share your food allergy story to help a student

I’m sure that any & all help is appreciated.  Even though I’m too old f=to even qualify for “young adult” any more, I shared a link to my “background” blog post and the more recent humorous graph.  Please, share your story & share this link!

Hopefully the presentation can be posted online when finished, and we can all benefit from that much more food allergy awareness.

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