Category Archives: Life

☠ Good Halloween Movies?

Posted on by Standard 6

The Monster Squad

Monster Squad

I have a bunch of stuff I wanna blog about, but I need the time to sit down & do it.  [I have some goofy World (and Lunar) Domination ones coming up, some half started… that seems to be what grabs more readers/comments.]

You’ll help write this blog post for me.  If you’re seeing the link on Facebook, Twitter or Google+ … please reply in the comments section here at the blog, not in the comments stream at Facebook or Google+, & not an @ through Twitter.  If you’re logged in on Facebook or Twitter you can comment down below using either account!

This one is relevant & easy to knock out because of the time of year.  I was trolling through Netflix on the Wii the other night, trying to find a good Halloween-ish movie to watch.

Cover of "Shaun of the Dead"

Shaun of the Dead

My wife is scared easily, and wasn’t in the mood for House of 1000 Corpses-like gore or Alien–like “Ah!” jumps.  (I still can’t get her to watch Silence of the Lambs.)  I was thinking The Crow, maybe Monster Squad or Shaun of the Dead.

I thought of a bunch that weren’t available for streaming, like Wolf and Teen Wolf or even Beetlejuice.  I found myself unable to think of campy other spooky fun.

Help me build a go-to list of all of us who are too old to remember good scary/funny/creepy movies like Ghostbusters, Batman, Zombieland, Fido, Edward Scissorhands, etc.

Roku XDS

Roku

While we’re on it, does a streaming service other than Netflix offer these movies, or am I going to have to start trolling the cheap DVD/Bluray bin at Walmart?  Maybe I just need to get a device like Roku that streams Amazon movies.

What movies make you want to mentally escape in front of the blue glow of your TV under a warm blanket on a cool October day?

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Bar Band Show Timeline

Posted on by Standard 1

Dive Bar, Plate 2

Here again?

So, I recently posted a link to Guitar Squid’s quite humorous timeline of a bar gig.  Whether in a band, or going to see a band, we’ve all been through similar situations.  Here’s how it usually goes IMHO…

  • 8:00pm | Arrive at gig early to load-in because the flyer says 9:00pm.  (Assuming your GPS/Phone/Google Maps has brought you to the right place.)
  • 8:30pm | Finally get into the bar, because all the lights have been off & no one has been there.  Bartender looks at you like you’re a vagrant.
  • 8:32pm | Notice that there are no posters or marquees at the bar telling of the gig.*
  • 9:15pm | Band wives/girlfriends begin to get annoyed that no one’s there.
  • 9:30pm | Promoter comes in looking quite rushed, says that they want to start bands at 10:00pm.
  • 9:32pm | Start setting up.
  • 9:47pm | Get told some other band is playing 1st, so & so in 3rd band has to go work night shift, so you’re playing cleanup.
  • 10:00pm | Hear bartender or promoter tell band #1 to hold off, to wait for more people to arrive.
  • 10:03pm | Band wives/girlfriends have perfected the stink eye.
  • 10:23pm | Band #1 plugs in, and tunes… at full volume, no pedals/tuners.
  • 10:32pm | Band #1 gets the go ahead.  Vocals inaudible.
  • 10:41pm | Equipment malfunction on 3rd song.  Someone scrambles to change a string, get a new amp head, get a new kick pedal, or borrow a guitar.
  • 10:50pm | Band #1 resumes after finding a solution while someone form the band or the crowd sees the chance for an open-mic night comedy routine.
  • 10:51pm | Vocals now audible.  Wish they were inaudible.
  • 11:15pm | Band rocks on, stopping after the 3rd “OK this is our last song” song, to remark “oh, we didn’t play ‘such & such’ yet!”
  • 11:23pm | Band #1 on 37th verse of “such & such”, heading into extended solos.
  • 11:35pm | Band #1 is done, starts “tearing down”.
  • 11:52pm | Band #1 finally off stage.
  • 12:15am | Band #2 up & ready to go.  Inexplicably sets stuff down & walks off stage.
  • 12:16am | People who have come to see you have asked for the 497th time what time you’re going on.  Wives/girlfriends give them the stink eye.
  • 12:29am | Band #2 comes back, double-fisting beers… ready to apparently rock.
  • 12:35am | Band #2 has successfully cleared the room, they bill themselves as “performance art” and “experimental”.
  • 12:42am | Despite the experiment gone horribly awry, you realize so & so that was supposed to leave for work hasn’t done so yet.
  • 12:51am | “This is our last song…” starts out, with a story about the last song.
  • 1:01am | Last “song” finally ends & tear-down begins as your band is placing stuff on the stage.
  • 1:10am | Sound guy yells at you for taking too long to set up, bar owner says you have to be done by 2:00am.
  • 1:15am | You’re set up, plugged in, & playing.
  • 1:16am | Realize no one from band #1 or band #2 is in the room.
  • 1:30am | People looking at their watches… except the old guy who is almost on stage with you & is so drunk he thinks you’re his favorite band from the 70’s.
  • 1:45am | Old guy professes his smelly drunken love for your band as you decide which songs to cut from the set list & what to end on.
  • 1:55am | Tear down/clean-up.
  • 1:59am | If you can find promoter, he tells you he gave all door cash to band #1 or band #2  because they “drove in from B.F.E.”
  • 2:15am | Head to a diner to get some breakfast… because you sure won’t be awake during normal breakfast hours.

*This being said… it is not the bar’s job to promote your show.  Bands need to learn to advertise.  Promoters need to advertise too.  Take posters to the bar, I bet they’ll let you put them up, or even do it for you… but a marquee or dry erase board would be nice.

So, what does your timeline look like?

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The Car Sales Handbook

Posted on by Standard Reply

USED CAR SALESMAN KITTY

Looks like a good deal...

From recent experiences, I believe that I’ve come up with the set of rules by which all car sales people are directed to operate.

It may seem simple, but I believe it’s a highly complicated dance designed to wear you down mentally.  I’m sure this isn’t their handbook word for ludicrous word, but I’m also sure that it’s pretty close.  If you can get your hands on a copy, let me know.  I’d like to see it.

  1. When someone emails you, uses your website, or uses a 3rd party website like Yahoo! Autos, don’t reply.  Call them.
  2. Call repeatedly thereafter.
  3. Send out form-letterish very spam-like emails.  Repeatedly.  Don’t reply to any replies.  Call.
  4. Call again.  Leave a message every other time.
  5. If you must send an email reply, include your office number, extension, and cell phone number… and ask the potential customer to call you.  Perhaps express that you’ve been trying to call.
  6. Don’t answer any questions about price or inventory via email or over the phone.  Get the customer to the dealer.
  7. If they ask about used cars, show them new cars.  If they ask about new cars, show them used cars.
  8. When the customer discusses comfortable monthly payments, always shoot $50-$75 higher than that number.
  9. After they express disinterest, call them again.
  10. Send emails with customer satisfaction survey links that lead to broken pages.
  11. Call again.  Leave a message.  Be sure to say “buddy” or “friend”.
  12. Call, once more.  Don’t leave a message.
  13. Call again, ask why potential customer didn’t like car/deal.
  14. Send a plethora of from emails from the dealer, manager, and sales person asking customer to call the dealer to discuss auto purchase options.
  15. Call & leave a message stating that you reached out via email, ask them to call you back.
  16. Wait 2 months, call again.  Leave message asking for a call back.
  17. Have you tried calling the customer?
Antique telephones

Tele-what?

I’m starting to wonder if perhaps payment is no longer based on commission, but on time spent on the phone.  Holy cow.  The barrage is instant and never-ending if you use a site that spits out emails to several dealers at once.  It creates absolute telephone chaos.  It’s 2011.  Can we conduct business/ask questions via email… especially if I take the time to note “via email” as my contact preference?

If you know me, you know I’m not a big fan of telephone conversations.  I like email.  Texting is OK.  I’ve had friends who have been my friends for many years, and our total phone-talk time probably amounts to a few hours.  Even if you don’t know me… it would be safe to assume that if I was using the internet to research/reach out to you, I might be more comfortable with an email.  (Otherwise, I would have called you… or just stopped by.)

Do you feel that I’ve missed any auto sales rules?  Please, add to the list in the comments section!

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Posted on by Standard Reply

YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS SHOW ON FRIDAY!

Here’s your new lineup along with a sweet new flyer:

Ernie and the Berts's avatarErnie and the Berts

Well, unfortunately Disgust in Disguise had to drop out, so here’s your new lineup along with a sweet new flyer from Sarah who’s organizing the show:

All the other show details are here:

When your body is your enemy, how would you choose to fight?

Join us as we take a stand against a friend’s cancer.
Help us fight his silent war.
March with us, beside him, as we tell his cancer to F@#! off!
He’s ours. We’re not done with him, yet!

The Bands:

  • 12:00 AM | Voices and Vessels | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Metal / Post-Hardcore)
  • 11:00 PM | Lyndsey Smith | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (R&B/Soul / Funk / Pop)
  • 10:00 PM | Ernie and the Berts | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Rock / Pop / Punk)
  • 09:00 PM | Midnight Rose | FB

View original post 112 more words

Bar Gigs – Are you experienced?

Posted on by Standard 7

Guitar Squid | Timeline of a Bar Gig
Guitar Squid | Timeline of a Bar Gig

So, I found another amusing Guitar Squid article; Timeline of a Bar Gig. It made me laugh.

Lately, I’m digging all the stuff that I find at Guitar Squid, Guitar Fail, & The Guitarz Blog.

While amusing, their bar gig timeline runs completely different from one that I’d put together.  I’d like to make my own, maybe a little less jaded.  There’s several subsets of bar-gigs, and it depends wholly on the bar, the type of band, and the crowd.

Before I do that, I’d like to see yours.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a band, just a person who goes to shows… or even the bar, promoter, or the sound guy.  I’d like to see the timeline from all parties involved.  If your drummer can read, is he tired of the drummer-bashing?

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Guitar World: The Top 10 Reasons to Quit Playing Guitar

Posted on by Standard 5

Guitar

This made me laugh.  I wanted to share with other guitar players and music fans:

Guitar World: The Top 10 Reasons to Quit Playing Guitar

Sigh.  Ha ha.

Happily, long ago I realized that I have absolutely no guitar chops.  I decided to just try to write solid songs & be entertaining.  Punk rock is my friend.

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Cancer Benefit Show

Posted on by Standard 1

Cancer

Image by GDS Infographics via Flickr

Borrowed this from the Ernie and the Berts blog…

⚕☣☤☣⚕ Attention Kids Under 21 and People Who Hate Cancer:

We have a show coming up that you ought to make an extra effort to attend.  We don’t do many all ages gigs, so this may be your only chance for a while.

This formerly had a slightly more impolite name, but it has been toned down a little bit:  P!$$ ON CANCER: A Musical Collaboration to fight for a friend’s life!

A friend of Bert’s has set up the show, and it looks to be (the good kind of) chaos.  Disgust in Disguise are a bunch of cool cats and it looks like there’s a really diverse set of musical genres happening, as well as a silent auction and some food & drink specials.

We’re asking you to come out, support a good cause, listen to some music, eat, drink, & be merry.  Please don’t literally pee on anything or anyone.  (This means you, Brad.)

Here are the details in case you missed ‘em!

When your body is your enemy, how would you choose to fight?

Join us as we take a stand against a friend’s cancer.
Help us fight his silent war.
March with us, beside him, as we tell his cancer to F@#! off!
He’s ours. We’re not done with him, yet!

The Bands:

  • 12:00 AM | Voices and Vessels | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Metal / Post-Hardcore)
  • 11:00 PM | Disgust in Disguise | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Metal / Hardcore / Punkrock)
  • 10:00 PM | Ernie and the Berts | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Rock / Pop / Punk)
  • 09:00 PM | Lyndsey Smith | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (R&B/Soul / Funk / Pop)
  • 08:00 PM | Midnight Rose | FB / RN / My_/ @t | (???)
  • 07:00 PM | The Ele[mental] | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Rock / Alternative / Indie Rock)
  • 06:00 PM | The Long Knives | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Indie / Psychiatric / Distofuzzadelic)

The Place:

The Details:

If anyone has any more details, links that I missed, or a flyer, please let us know in the comments!

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Bob Evans’ Follow Up

Posted on by Standard 11

A Bob Evans Restaurant

random BOB EVANS image from the web

Bob Evans Restaurant on Urbanspoon

After posting my recent tale of insanity during a Bob Evans visit, I received some almost immediate follow-up from Nate Riggs via Twitter DM:

nateriggs
– Eric – I work with Bob Evans. Saw your blog post. Would you shoot me your email so I can help make this right? 🙂

nateriggs
Thanks. Ill email you in a few and make sure we make this right By the way – love your blog and your writing style. 🙂

Twitter is awesome.  Instant responses.  These were followed up with another quick flurry of emails:

From: “Riggs, Nathaniel A.” <Nate_Riggs@BobEvans.Com>
To: <me@my.email.addre.ss>
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 1:52 PM
Subject: Blog post about Bob Evans

Eric,

Thanks so much for your email address and for your post. We always try to deliver the best guest experience that we can, but sometimes we mess up. We’re truly sorry for the wait time and hassle that you and your wife experienced in our restaurant.

On a personal note, I dig your blog and was just in Pittsburgh yesterday. This is week 3 for me at Bob Evans leading digital and social so I’m working through some on boarding before I can really work on tightening up our digital presence.  I’m a blogger as well – http://nateriggs.com – and I always appreciate when bloggers are so respectful, even when we messed up. J

The next email from me will refer you to Leeann Purdy in our guest relations department. She will email you and take it from there.

Again, thank you!

BEFarmslogoemal

Nate Riggs
@nateriggs
Digital Marketing Strategist, Restaurant Marketing
3700 South High Street
Columbus, Ohio 43207
Phone: (614) 497-7447
Droid: (614) 348-2646
www.bobevans.com
We like you. Like us on Facebook!

and…

From: “Riggs, Nathaniel A.” <Nate_Riggs@BobEvans.Com>
To: “Purdy, Leann D”
Cc: <me@my.email.addre.ss>
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 1:55 PM
Subject: Contact information for Eric Carroll – Pittsburgh Blogger from this morning

Leann,

Hi there.

I’ve copied Eric Carroll on this message. He is the Pittsburgh blogger who posted on our Facebook page this morning as we discussed. Would you please reach out to him when you have a moment?

Thank you!

BEFarmslogoemal

Nate Riggs
@nateriggs
Digital Marketing Strategist, Restaurant Marketing
3700 South High Street
Columbus, Ohio 43207
Phone: (614) 497-7447
Droid: (614) 348-2646
www.bobevans.com
We like you. Like us on Facebook!

and…

From: “Purdy, Leann D”
To: <me@my.email.addre.ss>
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 2:32 PM
Subject: Bob Evans – Reference # 720520

Mr. Carroll,

I would like to first, thank you for taking the time to share your experience regarding your visit to our Bridgeville location, and also sincerely apologize for the overall unacceptable food and service you received.  I also appreciate that you were so candid as most people will not complain, the will just not go back, and we would not have the opportunity to try to make it up to you.

Our company places great emphasis on training our employees to satisfy our guests, so we appreciate that you have brought this to our attention.  We expect our servers to be attentive, timely, and attend to all of our guests needs, and I am very sorry that we let you down.

I would like the opportunity follow up with you by mail to invite you back to our restaurant, and if you are willing, I would like your address so that I can formally apologize to you by mail.  I also have shared your comments with the general manager and area coach of this location also so they can ensure that any necessary action is taken.

Again, Mr. Carroll, we appreciate your comments.  We value your patronage and appreciate your interest in Bob Evans Farms Inc.

LeAnn Purdy
Guest Relations
Bob Evans Farms, Inc.

and…

From: “Purdy, Leann D”
To: <me@my.email.addre.ss>
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 3:24 PM
Subject: RE: Bob Evans – Reference # 720520

Mr. Carroll,

I wanted to send a follow up because I researched our records and did find where you had sent us these comments on our website with your mailing address included.

I have updated our records and a letter will be going out to you tomorrow.

Have a great day!

bef.gif

LeAnn Purdy
Representative, Guest and Consumer Relations
Supporting Bob Evans Restaurants, Bob Evans Food Products & Mimi’s Café Restaurants
3776 South High Street
Columbus, OH 43207
Bob Evans Guest and Consumer Relations: (800) 939-2338
Mimi’s Café Guest Relations: (866) 616-6464
Fax: (614) 492-4971
Bobevans.com

Then a week or so later, I got this in the mail…

Bob Evans Letter

Bob Evans Letter

Bob Evans Coupons

Bob Evans Coupons

How cool is that?  That’s enough for a meal & a half for the wife & I.  I have to say, I applaud their quick followup, perceived excitement, blatant flattery, and sincerity.  I do have to say, I’m a little afraid of returning to the Bridgeville location if someone was reamed by a regional manager as slyly implied by the emails and letter.  I mean “I also have shared your comments with the general manager and area coach of this location also so they can ensure that any necessary action is taken” seems pretty serious.  I don’t want to go back with Bob Evans bucks in hand and have them be all like “Oh, this is that butthole who wrote a blog and got me a lecture while I was just having a really bad day…”  Or do you think it was calmly presented as “OK, we obviously have some sort of breakdown, what can we as a management team do to help”?  I mean, that’s how it should have gone… right?

The didn’t comment on the asking 3 times for jelly code, so I can only assume this is a real thing.  Next time you’re at Bob Evans and you want jelly, ask for it thrice and ye shall receive thereupon the third asking.

Where’s the balance?  I’m really looking for input here.  Was I right to complain?  Am I safe in returning?  Should I just go to the Bob Evans in Robinson?  Think they have the same area coach & general manager?  How good is their Wildfire BBQ sauce?

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McConsistency is Key.

Posted on by Standard 5

Recently for lunch, I had a reconstituted-onion & cheese sandwich from McDonald’s with a little bit of beef on it.  It was extra special because it was pressed.  It was not like a panini press with grill lines, but more like someone sat on it.  There were also pickles stacked on top of each other, sticking out of the side.  Very artful & creative!

This wasn’t even from the West Liberty location.

I recently had a friend send one of his friends’ McTale-of-woe to me, because I have apparently become some sort of authority on all things wrong with McDonald’s customer service.

The reason I told of my recent adventure in lunch, is that it fits with the tale as told by someone who wishes to remain nameless, blameless, & shameless:

From: Pattyless Sandwich
Date: Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 9:29 AM
Subject: The Day McDonald’s Shit All Over My Good Time
To: The Hamburglar

On Sept. 27, 2011 I went through the drive thru at McDonald’s on Mt. Lebanon Blvd. in Castle Shannon, PA. I ordered a number 4 (two cheeseburgers), and I asked for no onion. When I got back to my friends house and we started eating I noticed that the sandwich looked really thin but I just figured it was smashed down a little more THAN NECESSARY so I bit in anyway. As I was chewing, I realized something wasn’t right about what was being smashed around in my mouth. I set my sandwich down and removed the top part of the bun to see the following: slice of cheese on the bottom half of the bun, pickles, ketchup, and mustard. Yes, that is correct, there was no meat on the sandwich. Luckily I had another sandwich, that in fact had the patty, to eat, but they put onions on it. The only thing I asked them to void. Now I understand work is work and if you have a job to live then that is fantastic, but to be the person to put the burgers together at McDonald’s, I feel like you go through a training day to be shown how to assemble them. Bottom bun, slice of cheese (I’m guessing it is on the bottom so the burger melts it, let’s not get crazy this shit isn’t cooked together), HAMBURGER PATTY, and then your condiments. Who put mine together and thought “hm….this looks right. Nothing is missing, I am a brilliant fucking burger maker extraordinaire.”? It’s not a hamburger from a hamburger joint if there is no meat. To quote a smart fast food chain (rhymes with Shmendy’s), “Where’s the beef!?”

Sincerely,
Pattyless Sandwich

And, there’s even a Facebook photo:

Veggie Burger?

Veggie Burger?

Ridiculous.  At least this didn’t come through my contact form from someone thinking I was McDonald’s.

Friends, I seriously wish I could write to the McGiant on your behalf, but all of my insane yet legitimate complaints have fallen on deaf ears, blind eyes, or typical McCustomer-Service employees.

Check out my track record.  While I feel for you, maybe try their McPennsylvania site?  I can do nothing at this point but perhaps share in your misery, my freinds!

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