Impugnment & Embarrassment


Dormont Park Playground

Should this be the new municipal building?

I must admit, I don’t generally get all fired up about local politics… and I’m not involved much, so I guess I really have no big voice in complaining until I get off of my ass and vote next local election.  From what I read in the papers, the Patch, & the quarterly newsletter it’s all some sort of goofy circus in Dormont anyway.  (Does that quarterly thing live online anywhere?)  If you’ve read a paper (in print or online), I’m sure you’ve seen the chaos in the little borough on the hill just outside Pittsburgh proper.

It’s a very odd pissing contest between the mayor, the borough manager, the city employees, the police, and the counsel.  I’d love to know where/why/how it all started.  A comment on a recent article from the Dormont-Brookline Patch sparked local editor Erin Faulk to reply with some links to try & help me sort things out.

I’m going to try & ignore all of the comments, as they appear to be mostly inflammatory statements.  (The dates are article dates, not event dates.)  Let’s see if we can all follow along…

  • March 7th, 2011 – Dormont Counsel demotes the police chief Phil Ross to Sergeant without explanation.  Ross was on “sick leave” at the time.  Dormont mayor Thomas Lloyd publicly disagrees with the decision.  This is an alarming quote form the article: “Residents and business owners asked for an explanation, but got none.”  Perhaps some more insight is gained here:  “Fire Captain Bryan Taylor followed up, saying that since council did away with minimum shift requirements, two officers are tied up on each call.”  So, the counsel tightened the budget for the police?  Maybe this caused some tension.  How long had Ross been on sick leave at the time?
  • March 8th, 2011 – A “no-confidence letter” signed by 29 (if my math is right?) city employees is presented to counsel that calls for the resignation of Dormont Borough manager Gino Rizza.  This seems to be a theme already: “Several residents questioned Rizza’s experience during the public comment section, but got no answers.”
  • April 27th, 2011 – I wish I could, but really can’t say it any better than this:

    “If this were a case about whether or not Phil Ross is a nice guy or a good man or someone people like, we wouldn’t be here … But being chief of police is a big job,” he said.

    Within Ross’ first year as chief, he said, council began noticing problems.

    Testimony by Rizza, Assistant Manager Ian McMeans and council President Kim Lusardi painted a picture of man who didn’t have control of his department.

    Rizza testified that during a meeting with him and Lusardi in November 2010, Ross said he didn’t want to be chief, but others in the department wanted him to be.

    Ross, Rizza said, “felt they threw him under the bus” and wouldn’t listen to him.

    Lusardi testified Ross had told her his men wouldn’t listen to him and that he was unhappy.

    According to testimony:

    • Ross couldn’t control overtime, which exceeded the 2010 budget of $93,000 by about $50,000. This was in part because Ross would not use his ability to deny officers from taking comp time in some cases. At the time, the borough had a minimum shift requirement of a sergeant on all shifts and at least one officer.
    • Ross did not notify Rizza of an attempted child luring in October. Instead, Rizza said he learned several hours later from the school superintendent. The delay, he said, prevented prompt notification to borough residents using the borough’s reverse 911 system.
    • Rizza learned from another officer in November that police cars weren’t being well-maintained and that cameras in two of the cars hadn’t been working for about a year.
    • Officers were also not walking beats as required by borough code. In 2009, officers walked 126 foot patrols, and 83 in 2010 and one in the early part of 2011.

    Lautner also suggested the police may have had reasons for not coming forth with information about the attempted child luring. Rizza and McMeans said public safety should take precedence.

    Lautner also said vehicle maintenance wasn’t in Ross’ job description. And, he suggested, police were walking more beats than those that were logged.

    In his cross-examination, Lautner asked Rizza why he sought to demote Ross by holding a Loudermill hearing—essentially a due process hearing at which a public employee facing discipline can present his or her side—on Feb. 18, just six days after council had given Ross 60 days to comply with its latest directives.

    Rizza said that was because Ross’ reactions during the hearing indicated he had no intentions to following council’s instruction, saying “Bull—-. Council is not my boss.”

    At the end of the hearing, Rizza said, Ross complained of shortness of breath. He left the meeting and was taken by ambulance to the hospital and went out on sick leave until about early April.

    Gabriel characterized that as a “panic attack,” to audience groans. Lautner objected and was sustained.

    Heh, “under the bus” thing.

  • May 3rd, 2011 – Councilwoman Joan Hodson questions the intentions of Gino Rizza’s GPS unit monitoring, citing excessive time logged on to the system.
  • June 9th, 2011 – Dormont Borough Manager (apparently unaffected by letter from nearly all employees calling for his resignation in March) is cited for trespassing at the police station.  I believe that all borough offices are in the municipal building.  It seems that Rizza used a non-civilian entrance to the police station to go in & complain about a parking ticket.  Surprise!  Then Sgt. Phil Ross made the citation, apparently after several warnings to Mr. Rizza & his sidekick assistant manager, Ian McMeans, to not use that entrance.  Apparently Rizzo parked in a space set aside for LifeSpan (a company that serves senior citizens) to earn the ticket.  It is noted that Ross did not write the ticket or citation.  Really, at this point… everyone involved is starting to look like an ass.  Rizzo paid the $15 ticket and made this statement: “This unfortunate incident is an example of what the Borough Council and Administration have been trying to change: a Police Department that sees itself as unanswerable to the elected Borough Council and officers who are willing to go so far as to file inappropriate criminal charges to keep it that way.
  • June 10th, 2011 – Rizza calls the trespass charge “Utterly Ridiculous”.  Of course.  I can’t make this stuff any clearer/funnier:

    Ross said the area Rizza walked through contains sensitive police documents and file cabinets and also a juvenile holding cell.

    Ross denied that the citation and ticket were in retaliation for his demotion, which he is appealing.

    Sgt. Jim Burke, who issued the trespassing citation to Rizza, was placed on paid administrative leave for an unspecified amount of time Thursday afternoon by Assistant Borough Manager Ian McMeans, Ross said Friday.

    However, Mayor Tom Lloyd said he reinstated him.

    Asked if he had that power, Lloyd said, “I think I have more power to reinstate than the assistant manager had to suspend him.”

    Placing Burke on administrative leave was authorized by council.

    Ross said Burke was on his regular day off Friday.

    Really?

  • June 14th, 2011 – Sgt. Ross suspended.  Of course.  Still amidst his appeals of demotion from Police Chief, apparently.  The reason?  “…for directing officers to disable GPS units installed in patrol cars earlier this year.”  The article later refers to this as “The GPS incident”.  (Great name for a band.)  Ross ordered the disconnection of the units under the direction of Mayor Lloyd.  Can we see a Dormont flow-chart of the seats of power here?  Who’s in charge of who?  Apparently no one knows.  Again, I quote directly as this is unintentional comedic gold:

    Lloyd and others have suggested the GPS units were installed in the five cars so Rizza could spy on police.

    “They were installed for safety purposes and they were not used that way,” Lloyd said Tuesday. “The way I look at it is, (management has) abused the use of them.”

    Rizza has denied using the units to spy on police.

    Lloyd said as mayoy he is in charge of the police department and that the order to disconnect the units is within his powers.

    Rizza and council maintain that the police ultimately answer to them because they set policy. The struggle over who has authority over the police department has been ongoing.

    “They’re certainly not in charge of a lot of things they think they are,” Lloyd said of council and management.

    “I just believe they’ve gotten some bad advice,” Lloyd said. “I don’t know how it’s ever going to get resolved. But it’s got to because we’ve had an excellent department for years and years and years. And they’ve done everything they can to destroy (police) morale.”

    But Councilman Drew Lehman said Lloyd has been giving bad guidance and said ordering the GPS units to be disabled wasn’t the mayor’s call to make.

    These are grown-ass adults.  This is not a prime-time drama plot line.  The last line of the article makes me giggle; “Rizza contends he is entitled to use the door.”

  • July 6th, 2001 – Sgt. Burke (the guy who issued the citation to Rizza) is demoted to patrolman.  Counsel approves.  Lloyd annoyed.
  • July 6th, 2001 – Sgt. Ross (former police chief) also demoted to patrolman.  For real.  “The decision followed June hearings regarding the job performance of Ross, who has been on paid suspension since last month for previously telling officers to disconnect GPS units installed in patrol cars, according to previous reports. Ross said he gave the order at the direction of Mayor Tom Lloyd, who suggested the navigation devices were being used by borough Manager Gino Rizza to spy on police.”
  • July 6th, 2011 – Hey, where’d all our money go?  Apparently all of these demotions, hearings, legal proceedings, suspensions, etc. had fees, and in July Dormont was already $6000 over budget.  A quote from Mayor Lloyd: “All problems of this borough will go away the day council has enough nerve to terminate the borough manager.”  Rizza countered: “Council has the ultimate authority in the borough. Council does the hiring and firing.”  In other words, “nanny-nanny boo boo.”
  • June 21st, 2011 – Richard Dwyer hired as acting interim police chief, while he helps look for a new one.  Article tries to recap the insanity:

    Disagreements over who has ultimate control over the police department have festered for some time, with both Lloyd and Rizza—through council—claiming authority.

    Tensions escalated after Rizza was ticketed last month for parking in a spot at the borough building lot designated for another tenant.

    Officer James Burke issued the ticket. After getting the ticket, Rizza entered the police department through a door inside the building for which he has an electronic key pass, Burke cited him for defiant trespass.

    Ross contended Rizza wasn’t allowed to enter that way, saying sensitive materials were in the area and a juvenile holding cell was visible. Rizza should have waited for an officer to meet him at the door and escort him, according to Ross.

    Burke was suspended, then demoted to patrolman instead of being fired over the incident. The trespassing charge has also been dropped.

    Rizza said he needed to get to a meeting and all other spots were taken, and that he only intended to park there until another spot opened up. He has paid the parking ticket.

    A related statement signed Thursday by a police union representative and a police union attorney acknowledged Rizza is permitted to enter the station, the trespassing charge was inappropriate, and that council has the “ultimate authority to hire and discipline its police officers, subject only to the collective bargaining agreement and the Pennsylvania Borough Code.”

    The statement also acknowledged the mayor cannot direct police officers to disconnect or damage the GPS units or other equipment the borough owns.

    Dwyer will not have arrest powers, but can carry a gun.

    Heh.  Nice line there at the end.  It would look great on a movie poster.

  • July 27th, 2011 – Now the civil service commission is involved?  Wait, what the hell is the civil service commission?  At any rate, this 3-person commission decides to overturn the demotion of Phil Ross, but I’m unsure if that makes him a sergeant or the police chief.
  • July 28th, 2011 – Dormont borough (of course) appeals the commission’s ruling.  You knew it was coming, right?  The meat of this article:  “The appeal is the latest round in an ongoing battle over who has ultimate authority over the police department. Council claims it does, but Ross and Mayor Tom Lloyd say the mayor is in charge.”  Contains another quote from Ross pre-dating my fancy timeline: “But on Feb. 11, Ross told Rizza and Ian McMeans, the assistant borough manager, that ‘council is not my boss’,’ I don’t care who hired me, council can’t tell me what to do’ and ‘council can’t terminate me,’ according to the appeal.”
  • August 2nd, 2011 – The borough solicitor (whatever that is?) says Mayor Lloyd has no power to dismiss tickets.  (I see an article form January about it.)  The mayor says it’s tradition.  I don’t know if it has anything to do with the cops or the GPS units, but it certainly has to do with the chain on authority in Dormont…

    Lloyd provides no accounting to council of dismissals and and his reasons.

    “Nobody but except a few people here have even brought it up as a question,” he said of council members who’ve questioned the practice. “I’ve been doing it 18 years and most people have understood that process.”

    The issue has come up several times this year. In February, council said it was looking into the matter, and recently, acting Chief Richard Dwyer told officers that certain tickets should be issued as state violations, not borough violations.

    Lloyd defended his practice during Monday’s meeting when Manager Gino Rizza asked him how many tickets he thought he dismissed. More than 300, Rizza said.

    Lloyd pressed on with an example of tickets issued during street sweeping on July 11. During holidays, street sweeping is postponed. Lloyd said they shouldn’t have been written.

    “Now, if you come in here and say, ‘Look, I wasn’t around, I wasn’t aware of it.’ What would you do?” he said. “I’m not asking you to give me an answer, I’m saying, ‘What would you do?’”

    “We should be the protector of the residents,” he said after the meeting. “We should also be showing compassion to the residents.”

    Crazy.

  • August 4th, 2011 – Color me confused.  Did the commission’s ruling not stand?  Was it all for show?  These people call for a vote to overturn a ruling in favor of Ross.
  • August 23rd, 2011 – I’m sorry, you just have to read this one: “Mayor Tom Lloyd told Richard Dwyer on Monday that he was suspended for seven days without pay beginning at 12:01 a.m. Tuesday over the incident, though council quickly reinstated him as of 8:30 a.m.” should get you started.
  • August 30th, 2011 – Residents are wondering what exactly the new police chief is doing… and mentions that the Mayor suspended Dwyer for 7 days… on no authority?  Wait, what was the the new guy suspended for?
  • November 1st, 2011 – Phil Ross is suing the already over-budget Dormont.  For obvious reasons, I guess.
  • November 16th, 2011(Acting) Chief Dwyer reflects on his accomplishments.  This poor bastard just seems like he was trying to do his job despite the pee flying in at all angles.

    Despite the numerous issues swirling in the borough, Dwyer has tried to stay focused on his mission of improving the police department.

    “He has exceeded all of the goals we set when he was originally hired, and he helped to implement and correct many things we were told were lacking in our police department,” council Vice President Laurie Malka wrote in an email to Patch on Tuesday.

    Dwyer detailed some of those changes he feels have benefitted the borough.

    Walking the beat

    In an effort to make officers more responsive to community needs, Dwyer has instituted walking patrols.

    “I’ve got them out of the cars, walking in the business district,” he said. “The average officer probably walks two times on each shift. It gives you an increased feeling of security when police are visible in the community.”

    In addition, the officers check on bars at closing time and, when pharmacies in Castle Shannon and Mt. Lebanon were hit by robberies, Dwyer asked them to talk to Dormont pharmacy managers to let them know there would be additional patrols.

    Police cars

    Dwyer said to make Dormont’s patrol cars more visible to the community, he changed the color on three of the five vehicles to a classic black-and-white paint job. He also has put a new police car in next year’s budget as two of the cars are “in bad shape.”

    Cutting overtime

    Dwyer said, upon his arrival, police overtime pay was “out of control.”

    In an effort to cut those costs, which have resulted in some officers having annual incomes of more than $100,000, Dwyer implemented a 12-hour schedule. He has the officers split into three-man platoons working the 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift or 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. shift.

    Within a 14-day period, the 12 officers will work seven days and have off seven days and the shift length results in less overtime pay. The average officer has 182.5 pass days and, with sick and vacation time added in, that adds up to about 208 days a year.

    “Every second weekend, you have a three-day weekend,” Dwyer explained. “What this tends to do is cause less sick time abuse.”

    He had told police that if the new scheduling didn’t work out, they could switch back. Since the new schedule has been in effect, a few officers who were turned down for overtime have filed grievances, Dwyer said.

    But when he sent an email to officers last week asking if they want to return to the old schedule, half replied that they want to keep the 12-hour schedule, he said.

    ID cards

    Officers carried their weapons certification cards with them, but Dwyer felt that police should have a Dormont Police Department identification card.

    “All public employees should have ID cards,” Dwyer said, including school and hospital staffs and all borough employees.

    Though the cost is generally about $35 a card, Dwyer was able to have cards made at the county police academy at no cost to the borough.

    Tickets

    Council voted on Monday to overturn Lloyd’s veto of the new parking ticket ordinance. Dwyer said he discovered that citations for state violations were being written up as borough tickets so the borough obtained the revenue. He accused Lloyd of supporting the practice.

    Equipment

    Early on, Dwyer was shocked to open the trunk of a police car and find it empty, devoid of safety equipment he said should be standard in all police vehicles—flares, fire extinguishers, gas masks, helmets and safety vests.

    “I’m not faulting previous people, but that’s what you’re supposed to have,” Dwyer said. “You’ve got to be prepared.”

    Since then, the department received a federal grant to purchase all new bulletproof vests for each officer.

    “Nobody was worried where the safety equipment was in the police car,” Dwyer said. “But they were worried about badges?”

    The future

    While no one knows the outcomes of Ross’ suit against council or the final ruling on his civil service case in Common Pleas Court, Dwyer has his future planned.

    Because his wife still works, he’ll go from being interim chief to the “house guy.” But he plans to spend more time fishing, meeting up with friends and spending time with his grandchildren, who range in age from 2 to 21.

    And while he might have taken the heat in Dormont, it won’t deter him from vacationing in tropical Jamaica next year.

    For real.  So he expects Chief Ross to be reinstated?

  • December 12th, 2011 – James Burke is now also suing the borough.  Clearly, this will drag on to the end of time.

I’m not picking any sides…  I just would really like to know the whole story.  I’m sure most residents would.  The whole ordeal seems like a waste of time & resources for everyone involved, the losers ultimately being Dormont residents & business owners.  I also find it odd that a police blotter isn’t published regularly with easy access & complete information for all citizens.

Sadly, to me, all involved look like fools at this point.  It appears that no one involved has taken the high road, and any further defense of their position will just sound more ridiculous.  I’m amazed that there is no clear-cut chain of command outlined anywhere for the local government.

I don’t like parking tickets.  (On-street parking is such a royal pain.)

I do like the strong visible police presence in the neighborhood.  It makes me feel safe, & like there will be a very quick response should I ever need them.

I don’t care if the cars have GPS units.  Isn’t Dormont less than square mile?  What reason other than monitoring the cars would they have for installation?

I do care that Dormont is wasting money on these counsel meetings, demotions, appeals, and comparing pee-pee sizes.  I’m sure the money could be better used elsewhere.  (Almost anywhere else – like defining — in writing — a clear Borough chain of command.)

Am I missing anything?  Is this the whole ordeal?

Can someone make an info-graphic or Lifetime movie about this, please?

Saturday December 17th – A punk rock party at the Fallout Shelter!


Reposted from ErnieAndTheBerts.com – A punk rock show to melt your face:

Insanity. Chaos. Deafening yet hooky melodies. Beer.  If these all seem like good things to you, you need to be at this show.  Add this to your Google calendar, Yahoo! Calendar, Facebook Events, or whatever you do with Google+ or AOL or MSN or Compuserve or Outlook or whatever you’re using.  Tweet about it.  Get a car full of idiots and find a non-idiot DD.

Ernie would like to remind you to drink responsibly, tip your bartender, buy some of the various bands’ merchandise, and to wash your hands before returning to work or play.

Get the flyer below tattooed on someone’s ass that you see frequently, so you don’t forget.

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

Ernie's twin brother

Movies I’d like to see at the Hollywood Theater in Dormont


So, I like movies.  I’ve blogged about some childhood favorites.  I’ve blogged recently about the Hollywood Theater and In Person Productions.  Here I’d like to express my thoughts on what movies I’d like to see on the big screen in a little room over at the Hollywood.  All of these could only be enhanced by In Person bringing in a related actor, writer, director, producer, etc.  I don’t know if they take requests, but that’s not gonna stop me from blogging about it.

Kick him in the nards!

Wolfman's got nards!

Monster Squad Duh. This movie is perfect for the Hollywood Theater in Dormont.  It’s got a cult following.  I hear other theaters are doing it.  Wolfman’s got nards.  (I’ve never seen Dekker‘s other movie, Night of the Creeps… maybe that would be cool too?)  At any rate, this movie is fantastic.  The monsters come alive, they’re so evil and scary.

Boodie twaps!

Boodie twaps!

Goonies    Who wouldn’t wanna see this?  I want to say this was the movie for my generation.  It had a pirate’s treasure, kids as heroes, Sloth, and asthma.  I’m sure I wore out the local video store’s VHS when I was younger.  I’d love to see this on the big screen, in all of it’s sweeping epic glory.

C64

C64

Explorers  ⚡  I don’t think that I ever saw this film on a big screen.  I just saw it on VHS.  I’d love to see it in full-size.  I’d also like to know how many others dig/remember this film.  I mean, it had a Commodore 64 in it… and the kids made their own spaceship.  They made. their. own. spaceship!

Would you like to play a game?

Would you like to play a game?

War Games I still want to try that payhone trick.  How cool was that?  Talking computers?  So futuristic! Reminded me of SAM.  Global thermonuclear war was kind of scary, but I was too busy trying to figure out that modem.

The Crow

Can't rain all the time…

The Crow    This movie is incredible.  I saw in on VHS for the first time.  I’d love to see it in the theater.  It’s a story of revenge, it’s a story of love, it’s a story of some things being stronger than mere mortality.  The images & ideas from James O’Barr’s graphic novel were transferred quite well to the screen here, the violence was actually played down.  Making Eric a guitar player instead of a dancer is probably the only time I’ll ever say “yeah, good move” to a movie changing a comic book or graphic novel story.  T-Bird said “There ain’t no coming back. This is the really real world, there ain’t no coming back.”  But, we all know T-bird was wrong.  So, let’s bring this one back to the big screen.

Slimer!

Slimer!

Ghostbusters double feature    OK, just the first one.  They came, they saw, they kicked some ass… and should have stuck with the cartoon instead of Ghostbusters II.  Maybe we shouldn’t cross the streams.  I think I did see this in the theater, but I don’t remember it.  I wanna see a life sized Stay Puft marshmallow man, please.  (Yes, I actually had a plush one when I was a kid.)

Flux Capacitor

Great Scott!

Back to the Future marathon    A perfect trilogy.  Goofy adventure, faulty science, crazy hair, the old west, 50’s cars, cowboys & Indians, hover-boards, poop jokes, futuristic home-faxing, temporal paradoxes, a Star Wars reference, a Chuck Berry song, ZZ Top in the old west, & Huey Lewis.  What’s not to love?  Oh yeah…  the AMC DeLorean is the coolest time machine ever, and there was a sweet guitar.

We named the DOG Indiana...

We named the DOG Indiana...

Indiana Jones marathon.    Or maybe Indiana Jones month.  Four weekends, four films.  Or, only 3.  It’s OK if there’s only 3.  Unless they hand out Crystal Skull Head Vodka at the event.  These stories are too epic for your TV, they need to be shown on a grand scale.  I can hear the music in my head as I’m typing.  Now you can too, can’t you?  I’m not sorry.  Maybe I can just bring the Wii over & play Lego Indiana Jones while no one’s using the theater?  Please?

Eborsisk

Siskel & Ebert... or Eborsisk the dragon.

Willow    I think I did see this on the big screen, but I’d like to see it again.  I feel like it’s an underrated movie.  It had great effects, a great fairy-tail type story with a literal little guy taking on the evil establishment, and a world in which you could easily get lost.  Also, the villain, General Kael was incredibly scary & awesome, even if he shopped at the same store as Skeletor.

STAR freakin’ WARS marathon    I mean, come on.  Do I even really need to even state a case here?  We have the movies proper, the animated feature film, the Ewok specials.  Play ’em all!  Please, play the Star Wars Holiday Special.  It may have to be some secret underground invitation-only thing so George Lucas doesn’t hunt us all down & destroy us, but it’d be totally worth it.

Those WERE the droids I was looking for...

|-o-|

Never tell them the odds...

Never tell them the odds...

Fanboys  ⚡  See above.  It’s a fun movie.  I’d like to see it on a big screen, it never got a proper release.  I bet you could get more than a few of the actors to come down to the Hollywood.  Let’s do this.  There’s a kid named WindowsWindows, I tell you.  This is a great film for geeks & nerds of all kinds.

Shaun's Plan

Want to go to the Winchester?

Shaun of the Dead    Zombies, zombies, and more zombies… in a romantic comedy?  Yes.  Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, & Nick Frost are geniuses.  This movie is just absolutely incredible.  I bet people would be all about seeing this on the big screen.  We could watch the regular movie… or the one with pop-up trivia.  How fun would it be to see this with a room full of like-minded humorous zombie film fans?

Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Hot Fuzz    Yes.  And, whatever the 3rd movie is gonna be.  OK, the movie is a little slow in the beginning, but it’s absolutely necessary for the ridiculous pacing later in the film.  This is the buddy cop film of all buddy cop films, that unleashes ridiculous action like no other.  It’s great to see a movie that celebrates & pokes fun at an entire genre.

These guys are at the movies every time we go...

These guys are at the movies every time we go...

Gremlins double-feature    I think I saw these in the theater too, but I wanna see them again.  A mogwai would be the coolest pet ever, as long as you don’t feed it after midnight, or let it near your office supplies.

Batman night!    Any/all of them, please.  Why not play some of the serials or Batman: Dead End too?  Batman is the coolest comic book character ever.  He’s smarter and more cunning than all of them combined.  Sure, he’s just Zorro with ears & more toys… but it’s such a great story & way easier to relate to than something like Superman or the X-Men, unless you’re an alien or some sort of mutant.  I mean, there’s a plethora of cartoon movies too.  It could be Batman movie day every day.

Batman Evolution

Batman Evolution

The LONE Rangers?  There's 3 of you...

The LONE Rangers? There's 3 of you...

Airheads    Some day, I’m going to write a letter to Santa, and my wish list will be as follows:  Radio Airplay, a football helmet full of cottage cheese, naked pictures of Bea Arthur, A Zon walnut bass, a PRS guitar with dragon inlays, 67 copies of Moby Dick, and a six-foot baby bottle.  You dig?  Who has ever picked up a guitar, bass, or drum sticks & didn’t love this movie?  If you just thought “me”, you might as well just quit reading now.

He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

This is Spinal Tap    This movie goes to 11, and has incredible sustain.  Why wouldn’t we all want to watch & laugh together?  In 1984, everyone in a band thought this was poking fun directly at them.  And, while it was… that’s why it’s hilarious.

It Might Get Loud

It Might Get Loud

It Might Get Loud    Great movie.  I’m not a U2 fan, and I thought that Jack White was slightly annoying before this… but it was just a cool tale of the evolution of the guitar and the individual players.  It gave me insight into the three guitarists and their influences. And really, who wouldn’t want to be in a room with the opportunity to jam with Jimmy Page?

Berserker

Actually any rock docs or even concert movies being regular would be quite cool.  I just missed Purple Rain, damn it.  Anvil! The Story of Anvil and Lemmy would be great movies to see in the theater.  Why not a whole series of Kevin Smith films?  I love the adventures of Jay & Silent Bob.  Even stand-up comedy films might be cool as long as they don’t involve any of the Blue Collar guys.  Maybe even The Princess Bride, The Last Dragon, Flight of the Navigator, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure & Bogus Journey, & any of the Star Trek movies.

Bruce Leroy | The Last Dragon

He ain't no cornball! He's my brother. And he's the master.

A bad movie night with Leonard Part 6, The ‘Burbs, or Howard the Duck would be excellent.  Maybe even Pluto Nash?  (I’ve never worked up the courage to see that one.)

She's Out of My League

She's Out of My League

What about Pittsburgh set or filmed movies, like She’s Out of My League, Adventureland, & so many more?

Would you like to see any of these at the Hollywood or a theater near you?  What have I missed?  What do you wanna see on the little big screen?

Cover Album…


“Someday” if I ever get the time, energy, & resources… I’d like to record a CD of some of my favorite songs with whatever kind of band I can pull together, or maybe even a varied assortment of musician friends.  Some of them are by bigger bands, some by locals, some by bands I’ve been in.

I’m sure there are more I’d want to include.  There’s no real reason to this, other than I think they’re all solid songs and it would be all kinds of fun.  Well, add any of the songs from my Ramones/Misfits/related bands list, really.

If anyone has better audio links for any of these… or any link at all for ones that aren’t click-able, I’d really appreciate your sharing of such things.

(I’d actually like to re-record most of the AiXeLsyD & Gasoline Dion catalogs, just because I think a little more attention to production could really polish some of that stuff. – Reunion gig or 2 anyone?  Ha ha.)

What songs do you dig enough to cover?  Any of these?  Ever hear of any of these?  Ha ha.  What would be on your album were you to do the same thing?

Commonwealth Press & a bunch of other South Side businesses need your support.


Support local small business owners, get some Christmas shopping done this weekend at Commonwealth Press, and help fight a senseless boycott.  Get $5 off in exchange for a stupid mailer, or a receipt from one of the listed local businesses…

common wealth press is literally a mom and pop shop.

common wealth press is literally a mom and pop shop.

Dan is good people. Commonwealth makes a great product.  (Like both rounds of Ernie and the Berts T-shirts!)  Check out the political side of things at the bottom of this page.  Don’t uselessly rail against any of these businesses, especially if you don’t understand the policies in question.

Boston Market ups the pressure… (a.k.a. What now, Panera Bread?)


Insanity.

http://twitter.com/#!/W_a_L_D/status/136910586947715072

That’s right.  Boston Market not only reached out via my contact form thanks to Facebook, but also had the cojones to do this…

Boston Market RT!

Boston Market RT!

I still haven’t received a reply to my email to Mr. Wakabayashi, but what now Panera Bread? What now?  Clearly, this will pan out to be a bigger rivalry than Neil Young vs. Skynrd, or East Coast Rap vs. West Coast Rap.  Maybe even bigger than me vs. the people that think I’m McDonald’s (At Least Mr. Wakabayashi used my contact form correctly!)

http://twitter.com/#!/W_a_L_D/status/137169033266077696

http://twitter.com/#!/bostonmarket/status/137212008138424321

If you have no idea what’s going on, or if you work for Panera Bread.  You can catch up here…

In other news, did you know that they both cater?  I wish someone would have told me.

Panera Bread (Scott Twp. Greentree Road) on UrbanspoonI actually stopped at the local Panera the other night because the wife was sick and wanted some of that cheese-broccoli soup.  I went in to get some to go, and got myself a half of a turkey sandwich and a cup of the chicken noodle.

The employee (a young girl, of course) at the counter was quite friendly, asked if I wanted lettuce tomato or onion on the sandwich, and even asked if I wanted mustard and/or mayo.  Clearly, someone went over new procedures.  Sadly, I asked for lettuce & tomato… and got neither, but I did get mustard and mayo.  I applaud the effort, and shame on me for not checking before I left the store.

I have to say, after my initial complaint, they have totally stepped it up service-wise.  I still call shenanigans on the new soup.  They ought to let sales do the talking… OFFER BOTH.  It’s certainly a popular item.  Let the consumers decide if they want a great-tasting soup… or the crappy flat-noodled healthy soup.  Clearly, as a leader in the Fast Casual industry, you can afford to test the proverbial waters?  I think more changes have been made, but it’s still not the old soup.  Shenanigans.

Also, I counted 3 signs within  a span of about 8 feet on the counter where you wait for your order advertising the catering… and the pop machine still does it too.  I think the receipt may have even said something about it.

I spend far too much time contemplating fast food & fast casual dining.  If only I could save time buy purchasing already prepared meals.  Does anyone out there do that?

Locksley is a class act.


Last night Ernie and the Berts had the opportunity to share the stage with D.I.Y. wizards, Locksley.  First off, these cats exude cool.  They look like they just walked out of the studio at Sun Records, or belonged on the Chess Records roster in the late 50’s.  In full confidence of all my manhood, I can say that if I were a woman, and into dudes, my panties would have been thrown onto the stage last night.  The best part is that they lack the pretentiousness sometimes associated with such a look.

Locksley is self-described as “doo-wop punk”, but it sure sounds like straight-up super poppy rock n’ roll to me.  Part 50’s ballads, part garage rock, part “Beatles just slashed the speakers” kind of vibe…. I even picked up a little Who and maybe even Pinhead Gunpowder.

These dudes explode on stage.  After their roadies got them all set up, drummer Sam Bair took nonchalantly to the stage, sat down, and started pounding like a madman.  As everyone in the room was spinning their head to see what was going on… the rest of the guys hopped up on stage, picked up their instruments, and joined in with a catchy number.  Bass player Jordan Laz called us all to action, Eastwood Airline bass slung to the side; No feet were to be still, no hands were to be left idle.

They actually implored us to go downstairs during the second song, and try to bring up Smiling Moose bar patrons from downstairs.  Not even the incredible fans that drove in from Ohio donning homemade letter jackets and poodle skirts emblazoned with Locksley logos went downstairs as we was requested.  No one wanted to miss whatever happened next!

Hooky melodies with a beat meant to keep your feet tapping is Locksley’s thing, and they do it well.  Their self-titled record comes across as a little softer, more polite, and gentle than the live show… but make no mistakes, these guys are mean on stage.

Guitarist Kai Kennedy was channeling Johnny Cash in all black with his well-worn cream colored Stratocaster wailing crazy poppy licks, and sweating bullets from the get-go.  Lead vocalist Jesse Laz let bass player & brother Jordan handle most of the inter-song banter, then would step in to croon and make jangly chord changes with his Epiphone Wilshire… A commanding presence that reminded me of Morris Day in Purple Rain.

Locksley

These guys have crazy stage presence.  Any inter-song banter was backed by soft rocking that ramped up just in time to jump into the next tune.  Moves that had to be choreographed but looked like they may have had an organic origin peppered the set.  Microphone sharing with killer vocal harmonies was all over the place.  Everyone who wasn’t tied to a drum kit was in the audience at one point, dancing, rocking, and singing away.  Kai and Jesse locked into this weird grappling maneuver where they played each others’ guitars while spinning around looking like someone trying to get out of a straightjacket.

After the set, handlebar-moustached drummer Sam wouldn’t let me purchase a CD.  Instead, he gave me a stack to pass along.  We gave some out to those who had attended the show, but I still have 2 unclaimed.  Let me know if you’re interested.  The 1st 2 to claim the disc in the comments below, it’s all yours.

Erin “Ernie” Payne & Dave “Bert” (or “the other Bert”) Warren went to a Fountains of Wayne show in Philly a while back, and Locksley was the opener.  Erin really dug what they were all about, and set out on a personal mission to bring them to the ‘Burgh.  I’m glad he did.  I had a great time last night, and I know the whole shebang was a big deal to Erin.  From what I can tell, all of the guys in Locksley and their friends/crew are all-around nice guys who have a genuine love for the music, the stage-show, and the adventure of being a rock n’ roll band.

Stay tuned to Ernie and the Berts’ Facebook page to see photos of the show!

http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/136883071373942785

It would be beyond super-awesome…


Cover of "Don't Make Me Wait"

Don't Make Me Wait

It would be beyond super-awesome if you could come out to this show. Why? Ernie worked hard to bring Locksley to town.  They just got back from Japan, and they’re rocking selected cities around the U.S. You can’t deny their incredibly poppy sound & we can tell you that they put on one hell of a show.  Go to their site, check out the free EP, look ’em up on YouTube, hear ’em on TV, then come see ’em live next week with us at the Smiling Moose.

Original post here: I’ll take Locksley for $10, Alex!

Reposting below:

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You’ve heard their songs. You know Locksley even if you don’t know it. They’re the next big thing, and you have the chance to see them now! Ernie and one of the Berts saw them open for Fountains of Wayne in Philadelphia, and they dug it so much that Ernie decided to set up a show to bring these guys to the ‘Burgh!

Locksley

From Wikipedia:

Television, Press and Placements

Locksley performed “Don’t Make Me Wait”, “Let Me Know” and “She Does” on Jimmy Kimmel Live! March 2, 2007. They performed “Let Me Know” on Late Night With Conan O’Brien on August 13, 2007. MTV made Locksley their “Featured Artist of the Week” for two weeks straight on September 8–22, 2008.

After the release of Don’t Make Me Wait, Locksley were featured in multiple magazine spreads, notably SPIN Magazine’s “Breaking Out”, Rolling Stone‘s “6 Breakout Bands to Watch”, Alternative Press‘s “100 Bands You Need To Know” and in ELLE Magazine with an 8 page fashion spread in their March 2007 issue.

Many of the songs off of Don’t Make Me Wait were licensed for TV, commercials and movies, notably: “She Does” as the theme to HLN‘s Morning Express with Robin Meade, placement in the Friday the 13th remake, “Don’t Make Me Wait” as the trailer music to the Paul Rudd and Eva Longoria movie Over Her Dead Body and “My Kind of Lover” in the J.J. Abrams-produced Cloverfield.

On August 24, 2008, “All Over Again,” “Don’t Make Me Wait,” and “She Does” were made available as downloadable content for the popular Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 game series Rock Band. The songs have been downloaded over 60,000 times to date. Locksley credits licenses with keeping the band going.[3]

Locksley wrote the song “Slink (A Hymn)” for use as the theme song to FOX’s TV show The Good Guys.

The ECHL hockey team the Toledo Walleye plays the chorus of “The Whip” whenever the team scores a goal at home.

Owens Community College uses “The Whip” in a number of radio and TV commercials. “The Whip” is also used in an American Family Insurance commercial, and has been used by the Columbus Blue Jackets, Detroit Red Wings, Vancouver Canucks, Toronto Maple Leafs, and Dallas Stars as their goal song since 2011-12.

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You can buy your tickets now to make sure you get them in your music-loving hands in time for the show. You can also buy at the door. Really though… It’s 2011. Try buying something online. It’s quick. Convenient. Easy.

❧ LOCKSLEY w/ Ernie and the Berts & The Mondaze - Tue. Nov. 15th 2011 @ The Smiling Moose (Pittsburgh, PA - South Side)

❧ LOCKSLEY w/ Ernie and the Berts & The Mondaze - Tue. Nov. 15th 2011 @ The Smiling Moose (Pittsburgh, PA - South Side)

Here are the show details, stay tuned for videos after the details:

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The Bands:

The Venue:

The Details:

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http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/128484733981179904

http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/131161295209775104

http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/131144967140814849

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New Catering Advertisement Opportunities! (for Boston Market & Panera Bread)


I’m just sayin’.

Panera Bread  - vs. -  Boston Market

Panera Bread - vs. - Boston Market

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Nov 4, 2011
Subject: New Catering Advertisement Opportunities!
To: & Cc:  A bunch of Panera & Boston Market Employees

Hello friends at Boston Market & Panera Bread,

I assume that the lack of response to my last email about an all-out catering battle at my house was ill-received.  I didn’t get any interest from either camp, or even any kind of acknowledgement of my email.  Not even a coupon.  Isn’t that the typical response?  “Throw ’em a coupon!”  Color me disappointed.

No reply is rather rude, don’t you think?  Batman movie night has come & gone.  We dutifully provided a favorable dining experience to our guests thanks to an incredible local pizza shop.  Roasted red peppers as a pizza topping?  A hit all around, I tell you!  Subs with a homemade feel cut in to bite-size appetizers were also quite delicious.

I’m not sure why neither Panera Bread or Boston Market was willing to enter my catering battle royale.  It would have been an exciting opportunity for both of you.  I realize now… that you need help with forward thinking.  You missed this opportunity to advertise your catering and fight for my dollar.

I believe that I may have come around to your way of thinking.  Perhaps I need to fight for your dollar.  I previously saw advertisements on the pop machine and all over the windows as borderline obscene… but why stop at the border, friends?  Let’s trample the border, deface it on our way through, and not look back!  I have some ideas that you may find attractive.  I really look forward to your feedback.  (Don’t give me any shenanigans about unsolicited ideas and what-not, we’re all friends here.)

  • Advertising on the napkins.  You already do it on the receipts, walls, & windows.  Subway uses their napkins for nutrition information.  Show them up, advertise!  Think of all that clean wasted ad space ripe for the slinging of your delicious wares.  Were one ambitious, this could extend to the “to go” sandwich wrappings, the fancy new plates that you’re both using, and even the trays.  Hell, why not the drink cups?
  • Guerrilla advertising. You could have employees go into your parking lot at regular intervals, and put flyers under the windshield wipers of cars.  If you really wanna get crazy, try bumper stickers!  People would love decorations on their autos.
  • Me.  Send me a T-shirt that advertises your catering services.  I play in a band.  I’ll wear it to shows.  The throngs of bar patrons who rock out with me on a regular basis will be sure to flock to the nearest Panera Bread or Boston Market location.  I might be able to convince my band-mates to do the same.  If we’d like to get really crazy, may I offer to sell my forehead as a billboard?
  • Paystubs.  Your employees get paid right?  Get that money back!  Advertise your catering services on their pay-stubs, and any communications that you need to send.  There’s room on that W2 envelope for a 10% off catering coupon.
  • Right on the food itself.  This is the one that excites me the most!  You’ve seen the toasters that produce an image of Darth Vader, and the irons that brand your initials on to a steak, right?  There are also printers that print right on things like rice paper & cakes.  Why not take advantage of this technology?  Think about it.  Full color printing on wraps?  Toasty images on buns, bread, & bagels?  Delicious meat branded with confidence, demanding that you pick up a catering menu.  It’s never been done.  It’s opulent.  It’s genius.  (If I do say so myself.)

So, what do you think?  Can I help in this new advertising adventure?  These are the next steps in the evolution of promulgation.  Let’s move onward and upward, into uncharted catering promotional territory.  It will be an onslaught to the senses, and an influx in revenue for all involved.  I’m excited for this venture, and especially excited to get some feedback from everyone involved.

Excelsoir!
-Waldo Lunar
[ -YOUR AD COULD BE HERE- ]

incessant emails / incessant advertising

incessant emails / incessant advertising

Further Reading:

Stay Classy, Panera Bread.


Sure, it’s probably nothing more than a public pissing contest and a case of “hey, look over here!”, but it sure is amusing:

Panera Bread

Just stand behind this sign, please.

There’s more to the story, but the headline is all that people will remember.  They say it happened in Mt. Lebanon, so not sure if it was the Galleria location, or the Greentree one (sometimes surrounding communities pretend to be Mt. Lebanon).

If you stick with the article to the end, it looks like the guy was stretching his time out on disability & got fired for it… then he pulled the “they made me hide the black guy” thing.  It sure as hell worked.  It may even be true.  Doesn’t matter though, because it’s now the main issue.

I do have to say, I’ve never seen a dude working the cash register at any Panera Bread.  I don’t think it has as much to do with race as age & gender.  The worst (best?) offender of this is Dairy Queen.  Not too many dudes work at dairy queen.  Then again, probably not many dudes put in an application at DQ.

You already know what I think of Panera Bread.