Category Archives: Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh’s Most Valuable Blogger Awards 2011 …?

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, I’m checking out my WordPress stats (it’s like an addiction now), and I see this link:

blogger.cbslocal.com/most-valuable-blogger/score/27/1/

I clicked it, and it was asking for a login.  Huh?  I did a quick Google search and found this:  Pittsburgh’s Most Valuable Blogger Awards 2011

It reads…

After much deliberation and careful consideration of many nominees, CBS Pittsburgh has narrowed the field of Finalists down for this year’s MVB. Voting for finalists is open now through September 9th. Let your voice be heard – vote now!

I’m in the list!  So, to whoever nominated me, thanks! You forgot to include “obviously insane” in the description:

The topics are enjoyable to read & are written in a way that is highly entertaining, while containing favorable opinions & insight.

VOTE FOR MY ASS!

Vote for me! Please?

I’m in the Dining/Entertainment category.  They have a badge up there, and they say to use it, so I will.  And, here’s where I’ll beg for your votes.  It looks like you can vote once a day in each category.  Apparently, you have from now to Sept. 9th to vote.  So, please… be obnoxious with your voting!  Vote daily for yours truly, and spread the word!

I have to warn you, if I win it’s just going to encourage more goofiness.  Fast food joints will most likely not be amused.

Also… in all seriousness, I was looking through the other nominees.  Use this as an opportunity to check out some other cool local blogs!  I see Only In Pgh is up, & I love that blog.  No one nominated Secret Agent L?  None of the blogs listed on UrbanSpoon Pittsburgh are up against me in the dining category?  There are a bunch of cool ones there!

Twitter has opened me up to the wonderful world of bloggers out there, both near & far.

Finalists Have Been Announced! Go Vote!

You dropped this...

Check out the contest, vote for your favorites, and tell me in the comments below which blogs I should be following & why.  (After you vote for me, of course.)

Thanks again to the nominator (whoever you are) and to any potential voters!

SHOW REVIEW: Dethlehem / The Bloody Seamen / The Approach and the Execution

Posted on by Standard 2

08/11/2011 @ Howler's

How cool is this flyer?

So, last night I broke my normal “school night” routine of hanging out at home (or at least getting home by a decent time) to check out a local show that I could not resist.  If you’ve read the blog, I’m obviously a Dethlehem fan.  In addition to those medieval fantasy knuckleheads, the Pirates that “crashed” their CD release party were on the bill; The Bloody Seamen (apparently known in some circles as The Flying Dutchmen).  I’ve been wanting to check those cats out for a while, so this alone was a no-brainer.  The other band was The Approach & The Execution.  They’re out on tour from Cleveland, OH… but we won’t hold that against them.  The place was Howler’s, and I know it well.  Bengt is a hell of a sound-guy.  I haven’t exercised my photography muscles in a while.  All of  the right ingredients added up to getting my lazy old musician behind out to a week-night show.

⚔☠⚔

☠ The Approach & The Execution ☠

The Approach & The Execution

These guys were up first, and they just ripped it all apart right out of the gate.  I’m pretty sure there were 5,692 guitars on stage and their lead cat went through all of them… even knocking one from the stage to the floor at one point.  There was screaming, there was “woah-ing”, there was shredding, there was thunderous drumming, there was harmonizing vocals, there was dueling leads, there was even muscle flexing choreography.  The one highlight of the set for me is when the one dude on vocals & guitar was playing a show soulful lead… and the dude next to him was shredding circles around it.  It was later in the set, and I hope that song’s on the CD that I picked up, The Blood March.  These guys were incredibly tight, & played really well off of each other.  Apparently they had some setbacks in the way of van trouble and had to have AAA & some friends bail ’em out.  They had a vehicle-less trailer out front.  Hopefully they make it to their next destination tonight, so they can melt the faces of the next group of new fans!  (Interestingly, I popped the CD in on the way to work this morning… and heard keyboards & a chick vocalist… neither of which were at the live show.  I’m only 3 songs in so far, but I wonder what’s up there?)

☠ The Bloody Seamen ☠

The Bloody Seamen

These dudes are hardcore.  They show up in full pirate regalia, and don’t break character easily.  I even got a “business scroll” from Captaine Blackguts when inquiring about obtaining some recorded material!  For all I know, these cats really are pirates, and have a ship docked somewhere on the Allegheny river.  (Although, the one guitar player Cheswick looks a lot like the guy from Deathmobile/The It’s Alive Show…)  This is a band of buccaneers that knows how to work a room, and work it they did.  They definitely put a gleaming sharp metal edge on some really catchy drinking songs, with fighting, fornicating, plundering, and treasure thrown in for good measure.  They seemed to cross musical genres with some straight up rock and some more funky/groovy stuff.  Any band with a guy named “pipes” that plays the accordion, what  think was a fife or some kind of small flute, and the bagpipes alongside screaming guitars is cool in my book.  These guys know what they’re doing.  I bought a T-shirt because no CD’s exist yet.  I had sort of hoped they’d bust into “Friggin’ in the Riggin’” or “Whiskey in the Jar“, but alas… they were more original than that.  I will definitely be at more of these guys’ shows.  I just hope they weren’t distracting us with awesome swashbuckling metal as the rest of their crew picked our pockets and stole our women.

☠ Dethlehem ☠

Dethlehem

Have I told you how much I hate these guys?  I mean, they have people that come out to their shows in costume.  How cool is that?  That’s fan dedication!  Bovice and Hildor make seemingly effortless movements across the fret-board that put me under a musical spell.  I wish I could unlock the secret to that power… or had the patience to practice like a madman.  Davidicus is indeed a wizard with the low-end, weaving together the ridiculous guitars and Brom’s pulverizing rhythms while managing to still have a voice of his own.  Lord Bonecrush commands your attention as he’s belting out tales of their conquests.  He even let a guest get up to help belt out “Blood Forest”.  Slaying orcs and harnessing dragons is hard work, but these guys have the time to do it, then to tell you about it.  They follow a rich oral tradition as old as the first hunter coming back and telling how he captured his prey to provide dinner for all, and you’d better appreciate it.  These warriors are going places.  I expect a cartoon series, live action movie, a graphic novel that transitions into a monthly series, and some damn stickers, patches, and pins soon.  I believe a side-quest with the Bloody Seamen is inevitable.  I vote that it gets put out on vinyl as well as digital download.

⚔☠⚔

As stated above, I got some photos from the show.  I have them up on Photobucket and will probably eventually have them all on Facebook too.

Photobucket:
Grid View | Slideshow

Facebook Photos:
The Approach & The Execution | The Bloody Seamen | Dethlehem

Here are some Photobucket highlights:

Related articles

Batman Movie Night

Posted on by Standard 6

Batman - Mic Check

Batman - Mic Check

So, soon we’ll be having Batman movie night.  Batman has always been my favorite comic book character.  He’s smarter, he’s darker, he’s a crazy detective, he’s relentless, he’s not invincible.  He’s most likely just as insane as the villains he helps take down.  I like that.

I’ve been a comic book & especially Batman fan since I can remember.  I’m sure it had to do with the 60’s TV show being rerun in my youth in addition to Super Friends and Batman popping up on Scooby Doo for whatever reason.  As a kid, I remember digging the Hulk (even though I ran out of the room during the transformation scenes), Spider-Man, and especially the Greatest American Hero.  I want to say I even used to play with my aunts’ Barbie-doll sized Batman & Robin action figures.

The Dark Knight Rises (a.k.a. Magnus Rex) has been filming in Pittsburgh.  Anyone with an ounce of geek cred or anyone that lives in or around the ‘Burgh knows this.  There are a bunch of photos, videos, & spoilers and crazy stuff all over the place if you do a quick Google search.  I won’t bother re-posting/rehashing here.  (Here’s a cool article about the day. …And another one here.)

I went to one of the open casting calls but wasn’t called… but it worked out better as the wife & I were both able to do some unpaid extra work thanks to BeInAMovie.com (peep their Facebook page for possible spoiler photos)!  It was all in all a really long but incredibly fun day.  It was cool to see a bit of the daily grind on a film that’s sure to be a blockbuster.  When else will I get to say that I was an extra in a movie… let alone a BATMAN movie?  Ha ha.  That’s just awesome.  Whether we make the cut or not, it’ll be an experience we’ll never forget.

In an email from BeInAMovie.com after the fact…

What gracious and appreciative people are the family that Warner Brothers are.

And they so appreciated each of your participation and how you came dressed for the scenes. And stayed through rain and heat and humidity.

AND Chris Nolan was awed by your acting ability when Bane and Mercenaries blew up the stadium and mayhem was everywhere.

In with all that, I’m just a fanboy at heart… so we arrive (again) at Batman movie night.  The wife & I hosted a series of Star Wars movie nights that were a good time, a good excuse to get together, and a good excuse to nerd-out with a group of people… fellow fanboy geeks & newcomers alike.  (On a side note… we never did get past the movies proper… we’ll perhaps have to revisit these to delve into the Ewok & Holiday Specials, Fanboys, then the cartoons & parodies.)

Darth Vader vs. Batman

How awesome is this painting?

Whereas Star Wars is one man‘s singular vision (with a couple of ridiculous re-writes), Batman is an iconic character open to many valid interpretations.  Some of the old Legends of the Dark Knight books would showcase this, as well as the recent Gotham Knight movie.

Batman & Jokers

Batman & Jokers

This brings us to… the movies I’d like to show:

Why not Batman Begins out of the Nolan series?  I’d argue it’s all about Batman vs. the Joker here.  Sure, some other villains clutter up the ’66 movie, and I ought to include something animated with Mark Hamill & Kevin Conroy… but 3 movies in one night is about all this attention span can handle.  The Joker is as mad & random as Batman is cold & calculated.  The characters play of off each other so well.  In the comics anyway, Batman won’t kill.  He won’t cross that one line to become a madman.  (And after the early 40’s, he wouldn’t use guns either.)

I love all of these interpretations of both of the characters.  The ultra-straight-laced Adam West & zany Cesar Romero are a great pair.  They play off of each other well in the campy style of the old show.  I remember being old enough to think “Mr. Mom is going to be Batman?” in the late 80’s, but Michael Keaton was a stellar Bruce Wayne/Batman.  He played such an odd person, and it worked.  I also remember thinking Jack Nicholson was too fat… the Joker in the comics & in novels was very tall & lanky.  I was surprised on both counts.  Nicholson plays a maniacal psychopath like no other.  Christian Bale is gruff and guarded, and Heath Ledger has redefined the Joker for a whole new generation, effectively making Dark Knight a Joker movie, not a Batman one.

If these nights work out, perhaps we can delve into Return to the Batcave,  some of the animated films, Batman Begins, & maybe even a Joel Shumacher film.

We’re looking at Sat. Aug. 27th for Batman movie night.  Let me know if you’re interested!  We even got Batman cookie cutters!

If it’s too loud, you’re too old!

Posted on by Standard 2

☢ BOOM! ☢

Phallic-Atomic Wall Art

That’s what I used to think, anyway.  Over the years I’ve come to appreciate things like volume & tone… and dialing in a bit of control to the chaos.  Recently the following open letter/plea to local & touring musicians was posted in a semi-private Facebook group for the bands that rock out at the Fallout Shelter.  I asked permission to re-post, as it seems like a cool discussion starter.  As a dude in a band, I’m always up for talking about such things.  Permission was granted, and so we’ve arrived at:

PLEASE READ – An open letter to the bands in our musical community from Rick at the Fallout Shelter –

July 27, 2011:

The Fallout Shelter in Aliquippa is well into its fourth year of providing local bands in Beaver County with a venue where they can hone their skills, develop a following, and join a sincere and optimistic musical community. We are very proud of that. We also are committed to bringing excellent quality sound and professionalism to the music patrons who attend our shows. And we strive to help the bands that perform become more professional and polished as they gain experience in front of the crowds. With all of that in mind, I feel compelled to write this letter to everyone who has contributed so much to our journey.

Rock music is traditionally expected to be performed at loud volumes. Although we welcome all musical genres at the Shelter, we have tended to present rock, punk and metal acts more regularly. As such, volume frequently reaches levels that would severely damage the sensitive ears of small animals. So, the question becomes, can “loud” be too loud? Despite your inner rock god’s rabid denials, the truth is that, yes, it can be too loud. On more than a few occasions, I have witnessed young rock fans leave the Shelter shaking their heads and declaring that “it is too loud down there!” How can loud be too loud?

The Fallout Shelter ☢

The Fallout Shelter ☢

As an old rock musician and former fine arts major who grew up in the 70’s listening to bands such as Zeppelin and the Who, let me offer my view on the matter: When the individual sounds of the instruments become too loud, they tend to meld together into what can essentially be described as a “mush” of sound emanating from the stage. As the on-stage musician, you no longer are providing the sustenance of musical nectar to the fans, but are instead dumping the digested excrement of the combined sounds upon them. Individual sounds are completely lost and thus, so are individual expression and critical accents of each musician which can significantly enhance the musical presentation. Some of you might argue that certain genres are intended to be presented as musical mush – and I cannot disagree because musical taste is indeed individual. But musical mush is not what we desire to showcase. The occasional unusual act that uses noise or volume for musical or artistic effect is welcome, but we do not wish to bombard our patrons with unnecessary volume. By beginning your performance at maximum volume, you lose nuance and dynamics, which eliminates your flexibility in making your performance so much more powerful. Being able to increase volume for that soaring lead, or for that key phrase, and using those skills, will make you better musicians and more polished performers. Dynamics is a natural emotional expression of the music, and its importance cannot be over-emphasized.

As a young bassist, I recall performing many times and falling into the same bad habit of turning up during performances – or leaning over to place my ear near my speaker so I can hear my bass. The sound was essentially blowing past my legs so I could not hear myself well enough. The temptation to turn up in such a case is inescapable. This problem can be solved by either asking the sound man to increase your instrument volume through the monitors, or by raising the speaker to be closer to your ear level. We provide one amp stand that leans back to direct the amp speaker to the performer for this purpose. We also intend to build crates to keep on stage which all amp speakers must be placed on to raise them up. Hopefully, this will solve some of the volume problems. We also provide a drum shield for those drummers who play very loudly. When our sound man asks you to use it, it is because he is trying to make you all, as a band, sound the best that you can. Please do not refuse to use it. Trust our sound man – he is working in a very small venue with a powerful sound system. If you maintain the volume that he requests, he will make you sound spectacular. Doing a sound check to establish an excellent level, and then turning up, just creates a cascade of each musician turning up, one after another, and destroys the effort that went into doing the sound check. When you turn up, he has to fight the instrument and drum volumes to bring vocals up to be heard and the result is often feedback and “mush” coming from the stage.

Please help us present the best local performances to your fans and experiment with volume for maximum effect, not just maximum levels. We will not continue to book bands at the Shelter who cannot realize that learning to use volume properly is as important as learning to master their instruments. Personally, I feel that such bands are either incapable of learning what it takes to perform meaningfully, or are simply fulfilling some narcissistic rock star fantasy.

Once again, thank you to all of the fine musicians and people who make the Shelter such a special venue. Let’s continue to work together to make it, and our bands, the best that they can be.

Rick

Ernie and one of the Berts

Ernie and one of the Berts...

You can pick up on the frustration in Rick’s message.  I get it.  There’s a good discussion already going if you’re part of the group.  Rick, Randy, & everyone at the Fallout Shelter have always been really cool to us.  The sound guys have been great…  I’m absolutely terrible with names or I’d mention them here.

My focus/attention span has been crazy lately, so I think the best way to organize my thoughts on this is a completely random bulleted list.

  • I used to want a wall of Marshall cabinets…  I don’t anymore.  In a stadium?  Sure!  But, the reality is that I play mostly bars…  Bars that are small, and sometimes too small to host bands but do it anyway.  Lately I have been digging using Erin’s little Fender Hot Rod Deluxe amp or Dave’s killer Egnater Rebel head with my 4×12 Mesa Boogie cabinet.  (My Crate Power Block is oddly “OK” live, but absolutely terrible when being recorded.)  Not only do we have to provide entertainment, but we have to carry our own crap in & out.  An amp that’s a quarter of the size & has twice the balls of most other amps?  It’s a win every time in my book.  Try it out!  (Especially if you’re playing a place downstairs like the Fallout Shelter or upstairs at the Smiling Moose.)
  • Let the sound guy do his job.  The sound guy at any given venue has been hired to make you sound good.  Don’t piss him (or her) off.  Don’t insist on turning your stage volume up until you hear the mix from the monitors, or go sit in the house yourself to hear the mix.  Want to have the most rock n’ roll attitude in the room?  Just play, and don’t give a crap what it sounds like.
  • Suck it up.  Shit happens.  Monitors screech, cut out, blow up, sound like mud, or are entirely non-exsitant at times.  There are still people sitting there waiting for you to play.  Play!  Don’t ask the sound guy to adjust a different level after every song.  Once one or two songs in?  No problem.  All night long?  Just deal with it.
  • Use the drum shield.  I think I’ve only ever played at one place where the drummer sits behind a shield.  They asked, so we did it.  I even put a sign on it that says something like “don’t tap on glass” that I think is still there.  It gives the sound guy further control over the room… and the monitors.  As long as you have a monitor in there for the drummer, it shouldn’t be a huge issue.  It might feel & look weird, but if Dave Grohl can do it, you can do it.
Please don't feed the drummer.

Please don't feed the drummer.

That’s all that comes to mind right now.  I’m sure there will be more.  For their part, it looks like the Fallout Shelter is open to suggestions in improving their monitoring system & the overall sound for the room.  I’d suggest some kind of acoustic wall tiles to keep already loud noises from reverberating, but that’s just me.

I’d like this to start a discussion about sound at smaller venues all around Pittsburgh, & well… everywhere.  In the comments section below, post your thoughts!

(WordPress recommended) Related articles:

Panera responds to my insanity, so I write back…

Posted on by Standard 39

So after my last Panera-related post, I went a little goofy. I put a post on their Facebook wall…

http://www.facebook.com/panerabread/posts/124723480954835

Found this part of that amusing:

…the corporate office (or in your case the corporate office for our franchise partner who operates bakery-cafes in the Pittsburgh area) reviews your email before contacting and working closely with the general manager to try to resolve the issue.

I also tweeted a few times…

http://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/96920982714990592

http://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/96949713940643841

…and got this DM from them:

Panera Breadpanerabread Hey, thx for sharing feedback through website. Sorry about your disappointing experience, our CS team is looking into & will be in touch.

Heh.

I got this email from the local general manager…

From: 3497 <panera3497@covelli.com>
To: [me]
Sent: Friday, July 29, 2011 10:50 AM
Subject: Contact Us

Dear Mr. Carroll,

I would like to introduce myself as Carrie Janota, the General Manager at the Greentree Panera Bread. I appreciate all your feedback and coaching. Your response will definitely help us with current and future training to associates, especially this time of year. The company has made several changes with menu items that you expressed in your comments. First, our turkey is now presliced so the consistency is different than when we sliced it in house. We also changed the recipe of our chicken noodle soup, which makes it all natural. Another healthy initiative we have taken is the removal of sauces on all cafe sandwiches. We offer packets of mayo and mustard at the condiment bar or you are welcomed to inform the cashier that you would like the condiments on the sandwich and we will gladly put them on for you. The “no onions” is our mistake and I would like to compensate you for a free meal next time you visit a Panera Bread. If you could please send me your address, I will gladly put the coupon in the mail for you. Again, thank you for your input, I use all issues as a learning tools for our associates.

Carrie Janota
General Manager

So, this is what I wrote back to them…

-餧馕馒-

Thank you Ms. Janota,

You certainly can address me as “Eric”, not “Mr. Carroll”. I appreciate your incredibly rapid and well-stated response to my experience yesterday. I was going out of my mind in disbelief. I would suggest that Panera spend more time asking/telling customers about changes, and less time advertising your catering services. I mean, really… on the pop machine, you’re advertising the catering service? What about a nice big poster that says… “WARNING: WE CHANGED THE TASTY NOODLES IN THAT SOUP THAT YOU LIKE, THE MEAT ON OUR SANDWICHES, AND HAVE DECIDED TO FORGO MUSTARD.” (Or even a nice traditional Coke or Pepsi logo?)

Boston Market is annoying/obnoxious with advertising their catering too. I get it. You guys cater. I know this. I’m here for dinner. You don’t need to advertise for a place that I’m already in. Imagine going into Walmart & seeing a sign in every aisle that advertises the stuff in the next aisle. This could get quote old quite quickly.

  • Attn: Panera – I don’t host any lunch parties or have a need for sandwich rings.
  • Attn: Boston Market – I can cook my own Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner.
  • Attn: Bob Evans – I can handle making my own lasagna or meatloaf.
  • Attn: Chick-fil-A – The only thing I’d do with a tray full of nuggets is eat them all myself.
Since you took the time to write, and you’re obviously concerned and well-written, I’d like to address my concerns & the new issues raised more specifically.

The Onion – This is not a big deal. I generally don’t even say anything & just take the onion off myself. This is the first time I was ever asked “Lettuce, tomato, & onion?” in a Panera. So, I said “Lettuce & tomato, no onion please.” This is the only reason I took note. It also said on my receipt “NO ONION” – so the cashier took the effort to note it, and the sandwich-maker had to read & ignore it. Just odd. Again, this is nothing that should ruin one’s day.

The Turkey – I call shenanigans. Any foodie will tell you there’s a world of difference between lunch-meat turkey and the freshly-sliced real thing. Why would Panera decide to sacrifice quality like this? Does it save time? Does it save money? Certainly it can’t be healthier… isn’t pre-packaged lunch-meat loaded with salt & preservatives? Imagine my surprise upon looking at my $6 half-sandwich full of lunch-meat where I had expected (and previously received) actual turkey. Where was my warning of this upon ordering? I certainly didn’t get the proverbial memo here. At least there’s no confirmation of turkeys with gold nuggets in their gizzards and fine wine in their gullets. Although, I didn’t get a staunch denial.

The Lettuce & Tomato – Are Panera employees encouraged to look at the ingredients before placing them on sandwiches? Really, that’s all that would be needed to prevent the placement of brown lettuce & green tomatoes. A general rule of thumb could be “If you were going to make yourself a sandwich, would you use this?”

The lack of any condiments – Again, list this in the “things that would be nice to know before I placed my order, or at the very least as I was placing my order” category. I liked the previous dressing/sauce whatever you want to call it, and it was certainly different from the straight mayo or spicy brown mustard available by the drinks (& catering advertisement). Is this really a “healthy” option or a money-saving option? I’m reminded of the “removing one olive from every salad” story with American Airlines. It saved them a rumored $40,000. I imagine all of this no-more-condiments stuff adding up to a HUGE savings for Panera… but my sandwich didn’t get cheaper, did it? No passing along the savings? (I think Steak ‘n’ Shake has done this too… their salads used to be nice-sized with cherry tomatoes… now they’re small & have tomato slices.)

The mysterious thumbprint – The noted lack of condiments has me even more concerned about the yellow thumbprint that was on the top of my sandwich. I had just assumed it was some of the condiment that was supposed to go on the inside. I ripped this portion out of the top of my sandwich before eating, to the bewilderment of my eye-rolling yet tolerant-to-my-neuroses wife. This leads me to wonder what the yellow stuff on my sandwich was… if not mustard, was it some of her broccoli cheddar soup? If so, this is incredibly alarming because it could have easily been clam chowder… and I’m highly allergic to shellfish. How is soup on the sandwich board or my sandwich when it wasn’t even my soup? I suggest you educate your employees on allergens & cross-contamination. Barring all that… it’s just a little gross. That could have been a big yellow booger for all I know.

The healthy soup – Pardon me if I laugh at the “all natural” expression. While I understand the meaning, visions of a supernatural soup come to mind. Was the prior soup possessed by demons? The noodles certainly were homemade-looking and delicious. Were they the result of a tasty pact with the devil or an ancient spell? Did the ingredients float into the bowl themselves? I don’t know what the tiny paper-thin pasta squares in the new soup are, but they are a Ford Focus to the previous soup’s BMW 7 Series. They’re not whole-grain pasta, are they? I hate whole-grain pasta. If this soup was a state, the broth were the land-mass and the chicken bits & noodle-like squares were people… it would be Alaska or Wyoming. Do you see what I’m saying? (Actually, the noodles might be the people, and the chicken may be an endangered species living within that state… but I’ve already pushed that metaphor too far.) I’m not entirely sure if this is the fault of the soup-ladeler or the soup recipe. As far as healthy vs. tasty in soup, I suggest you look up news articles related to Campbell’s. They’re putting salt back into soup to boost sales. I see from your corporate Facebook page that this is apparently an issue that has ruffled some feathers. Perhaps a shift back is in order?

The rusty knife – Poop happens. Have the dishwasher look over some stuff. I’d throw out the rusty ones. This rust was quite prominent on the handle of the butter knife, in the details of the design.


Thank you for your time, I hope you can use my input to your advantage… for your team, and perhaps passed on to a corporate level. I’d like to respectfully decline a free meal. I don’t write these sort of emails in order to get free food… and I’m skeptical of any coupons/certificates flagging me as “oh, here’s that guy”. I may even be done with Panera bread for a while. Bedsides the potentially scary cross-contamination and general utensil-cleanliness issues, our philosophies don’t seem to mesh well. I don’t need you to make health decisions for me, I need you to give me quality meals at the prices you demand. Your new more healthy less tasty soup and lack of condiments disturbs me, and apparently your quality standards aren’t the same as mine at your current menu prices.

I’d suggest taking some of the money saved from condiment rationing, smaller noodles, & catering advertising… and funneling it into a survey system to find out what your consumers want, or at the very least making signs or T-shirts that say “We’re holding the mustard unless you tell us not to!” or “New soup! Less noodles & chicken, but no ghosts!” It would also be money well spent on allergy training or buying new non-rusty silverware. Do you have any corporate contacts whom with I could perhaps take up this discussion?


Supernatural soup supporter,
-Eric

?sretac arenaP taht wonk uoy diD .seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

-餧馕馒-

I for one can’t wait for a reply.

Panera Bread (Scott Twp. Greentree Road) on Urbanspoon

The Great Panera Bread Swindle

Posted on by Standard 29

The last two times I have been to Panera Bread, it’s been a debacle.  Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit… but it’s still ridiculous when compared to the price.  At the Robinson (Settler’s Ridge?) location, I got the wrong sandwich entirely… but tonight’s experience was absolutely ridiculous.  I actually just reviewed my experience at PaneraListens.com (as per the receipt), and through the contact form on their website.

This is what I shared…

I paid $6.69 for a half of a sandwich, which is now lunch meat & used to be actual pieces of turkey.  There were onions on the sandwich, and the receipt says “no onions” like I asked.  No big deal in itself.  There was no mustard/mayo/sauce on the sandwich, except for a thumbprint of something on the top/outside that shouldn’t be there.  Didn’t it used to come with a mustard?  1 of the 2 pieces of lettuce had brown edges.  The center of the tomato was hard & green.  The chicken noodle soup was ridiculously sparse as far as the  noodles and/or chicken.  I had about 4 or 5 spoonfuls of actual ingredients, and about a half bowl of broth.  The (lack of) quality of the meal was astounding.  How far has a once-great restaurant fallen?  I expect crappy food/service from McDonald’s… but not from Panera Bread.

You can improve by instructing employees to read their screens or receipts or whatever they read to make the orders.  You can then teach them how to make sandwiches without using brown lettuce or green tomatoes… and how to not put mustard thumb-prints on the outside of mustard-less sandwiches.  (Cross-contamination is a nightmare for people with food-allergies, have you considered this?)  You can also teach them how to ladle proper portions of chicken noodle soup… now with lame little noodles instead of the homemade-looking ones of yesteryear.

You can also stop subbing turkey lunch meat for real turkey in your $6 turkey sandwiches.  A friggin’ POUND of turkey at the grocery store doesn’t even cost $6, and YOU should be getting restaurant/wholesale prices.  Not that I would deny you profit… but REALLY?  Do the turkeys that you buy use gold nuggets in their gizzards?  Do they drink fine wine?

I neglected to go complain, because everyone working seemed to really care less if my order was correct or not… I also fear some sort of retaliation if I need a re-made sandwich or an actual bowl (not cup) of soup.

My wife had a cream of broccoli soup & a salad that looked spectacular.  No brown lettuce even… and it was a whole bowl!  She did get a knife that had rust on the handle though… sort of unappetizing.  I’d rather see plastic flatware than rusty flatware.

Something was really wrong here today, or I just had some bad karma all around my order.

I know I sound insane, and it’s really not that big of a deal… but this kind of stuff drives me absolutely nuts.  I just can’t imagine serving a half-assed sandwich… with a thumbprint on it, either in my house to a guest, or especially not at a job where I’m being paid to do it.  Also, you go to a chain for consistency… which I have never received at Panera.

I think I’m most disappointed with the apparent swindling of turkey lunch meat for actual turkey… and whatever those tiny little pasta squares were compared to the old homemade style noodles.  Panrea bread… we’re not stupid.  I doubt I’ll be back.

Panera Bread (Scott Twp. Greentree Road) on Urbanspoon

I’m pretty sure this is illegal. (Driving advice for horn-honking traffic trolls.)

Posted on by Standard 6

I’m pretty sure this is illegal, but I see it happen all the time.  Can someone of authority weigh in on this?  Opinions are of course welcome, but if you’re going to claim why it’s legal/illegal… you have to give me some kind of backup.

Let me describe the scenario with the help of an illustration thanks to Paint.NET, Google Maps, & a Google image search…

This is a dick-move.

This is a dick-move.

We’ll pretend I’m the blue car, behind the white truck, and in front of the little yellow bastard.

The white truck is trying to make a left at the light, only problem being (use your imagination here) a flurry of automobiles in the other 2 oncoming lanes coming forth with less than a car-length in between them, and at a speed well over the posted 25MPH limit.  (Never-mind that here the middle lane switches traffic directions depending on the time of day – that’s a whole different ridiculous issue.)

Of course, the truck is forced to stop in what I would like to consider the middle of the intersection, causing frustration to rise exponentially for each halted vehicle behind the pale horse of immobilization.

As the truck plays the waiting game, and I hone my skills with the Force trying to will a break in traffic to allow him (or her) to turn and more importantly get out of my way… the impatient arrogant bastard behind me decides to honk the horn.

Honking the horn when one is stuck in traffic is the action of a self-absorbed angry little person.  A honk is expected & appropriate if someone cuts you off, someone’s sitting at a green light, or backing into you.  A honk is inappropriate when everyone is stuck, & no one can go anywhere.

Now, I know this indignant troll of a human being wanted me to take the path of the green arrow above… which is a common Pittsburgh driving move.  I’m sure it happens elsewhere too, but it’s quite common around here.  I believe said move is not only illegal, but also quite dangerous.  I know passing on the shoulder is discouraged if not illegal, and doing it in the middle of an intersection isn’t the best idea.

It’s dangerous for the following reasons if you must know, traffic troll:

  • Someone in the inside oncoming lane could also be making a left, not see me coming around the side of the truck, and we plow right into each other.
  • The truck decides he’s (or she’s) had it with waiting to make a turn, and plows ahead in frustration as I move around & try to merge into that lane.
  • Someone from the road on the right may be coming to the intersection to make a legal right on red while it’s obvious that oncoming traffic is at a stand-still.
  • A final sequence, however unlikely… the light changes while I’m going around, and someone comes from the left straight through their way, and smacks into the side of me.

If you think of any other reasons why it’s a bad idea, please let me know.  If you can show me a link where the laws concerning such vehicular interactions reside online (especially for PA), I’d love to pass the link along to the honking trolls out there.

If you’re a traffic troll, I’d like to express to you that all you’re doing is putting the person in front of you in danger, as well as potentially yourself, and adding to the aggravation levels of everyone around you… when they’re already sufficiently aggravated.

This has been brought to you as a public service announcement warning against the dangers of traffic trolls.  I’m sure PennDOT and the State Police would get behind this if they read my blog.

You’re not a traffic troll, are you?

I am computer smart & very good with organization.

Posted on by Standard 8

Worst resume ever?  Perhaps.  It’s pretty funny though… so maybe if the writer can harness the chaos, it can be put to good use.  I wish I could take credit for writing or even finding this, but I can’t.  It comes from a note posted on Facebook by my good friend Mike.  I asked him if I could steal it to share with a wider audience, and he agreed that it’s too good to not be shared.

So, grab a cup of coffee, and pretend you’re looking to hire someone…

[Mike’s forward: This comes from my pal at a local coffee shop. This kid came in and insisted on including this resume with his application. I have not edited it for content, spelling or punctuation aside from anything containing his personal info. Have fun!!]

 Resume of, AUTHOR.

 Address: (Something, Pittsburgh PA 15219.)

 Best way to contact: E-Mail.(email@college.edu.)

 Attending college at: (College.)

 Major of study: (Graphic Design, moving up to Game & Art Design.)

 Degree earning: (Bachelor’s Degree, “4 years.”)

 Years done so far out of 4: (almost a full 2 years total.)

 Skill’s & Talent’s, which PERSON can bring to this job offer, is as followed:

  • I have both my Adobe & Microsoft skills.
  • I wield the knowledge & understanding on, how to properly function these programs.
  • I am computer smart & very good with organization.
  • I am a hard worker & I get stuff done right the first time around.
  • I am very well, at English & speaking.
  • I understand details very quickly & fluently as well.

 I take direction extremely well & work as hard as I can, in order to guarantee success at whatever it is I am presently doing.

  • I am a team player & can be greatly independent upon my efforts put fourth in my work too.
  • I can give great advice to fellow students, if I do not know an answer to a question I will first try to see if I can figure it out, or guide them to the correct person in position to answer their questions.
  • I am passionate at everything I do, I never waste time I work first & leave the relaxing time for when it can be enjoyed without consequence.  

Background & Job qualifications.

You are probably asking yourself:  

  • “Why should I consider hiring, this college student?
  • What makes him, stand out more than any other college student. who may be applying?
  • Does he have the ambition & determination, to follow through with this job position?
  • Will he ever fail me, or let me down in anyway imaginable?
  • Can he be trusted & reliable, to do this type of work?  

” These are all very good questions & I can inform security, that I can honestly answer them all, both correctly & factually, while backing up everything I am about to explain with evidence. ”  

  • I feel you should consider my employment, cause I am a working type of person almost 95 percent of my time, my life is what I do, in this cause art & employment, I seem to never stop moving or working on something important, while others party with friends I am either figuring out life arrangements, school finances & study, or just creating neat art, cause that’s what I came to an art college for.

I believe what makes me stand out, is my never give up attitude, my spunky side which shines through as a bubbly personality, my humor can be a personality trait in particular settings, I naturally love people & always give my all & best to help them, I would give a homeless guy the remaining dollar in my wallet & I have done that a lot, so I just believe with every good employee, comes a caring strong individual. I am a determined student, with one option only, success. Failure is a given, but I never allow it, it will never be3 a option for me, if I want this dream career & lifestyle I have to want it, I have to live it & most importantly I have to fight for it full throttle. I brought my GPA up this quarter from a 1.7 now is at a peaking 2.4 /2.5 & there are still a few grades that need to placed in their, but I know how I did by communicating with my professors, it will at least be a 2.5 if anything. I can guarantee excellent & efficient work ethic, delivered daily without any questions ask. I am up for change, so if details in the work environment turn to the left or to the right I am on the ball & never respond negatively to a changed course or daily pattern. I am a Full-Time Student, at the COLLEGE, in the Graphic Design Program (Bachelors Degree.) I came for Game & art Design. though my art work from high school, passed in insanely well, my mathematics’ is what I am working on in order to move up & soon enough I will do just that.  

Personal Cover Letter.

I am a very determined person. I believe in promotion, even where it seems, down right impossible. I believe anyone of us, can succeed at what we dream. It’s not where you come from, that makes who you are today, It is what you went through & how you handled it, in order to get to where you are today. I do not believe in using your pass negative experiences, as an alibi, nor do I agree with, failure being an option. I came from a rough life, beofre I became the young successful man I am today. I was the boy on the streets, the boy with no father or mother, nor anyone to love him. I came from Foster Cares, an endless amount & I went through life’s tragedies at an early age. Though my life was difficult, I still dreamed of a brighter tomorrow, with that said, I always said I BELIEVE. I never listened, when family & outsiders use to say, give up that’s a fairy tale dream-life it will never happened I still held my head high & believed, their must be more to this world Everyone can not simply be this horrid, their must be a better life, out there just waiting around the bend, sure enough after 17 to 18 years of my life, I found out that I was in fact very correct. There was a dream-life outside of tragedy & despair & that’s what I found today, for 2 years right out of high school I jumped on the college bandwagon & never stepped off since, still dealing with tragedies sure we always will, but I deal with them, get through them, the mature way, the professional way & I still do what my work & schooling expects of me.

I did have a part time job at the local Dunkin’ Donuts, but ran into, some scheduling details that weren’t that well explained in this case, every week was a new schedule & it began to confuse many employees working on the site. I worked as a very hard worker for a solid month, to the point that, the Assistant Manager taking over soon, said I wish I was in charge right now cause you would still be my employee, he apologized & said you the only one here who cleans, closes & runs this shop like a professional & to the book, like me, everyone else seems to slide on through & slack off, he said my apologize. This was very difficult it hurt very badly to where I cried a bit, I never been rejected in that fashion, so I think we all, get that wake up call, that proves to us even if your doing everything in your power to be the best employee, sometimes life still happens, all we can do is cry, move on & change for the better in the end I am also applying for 2 part times or one Full time position this quarter I have to find a place to live come September 1h & I expect to be okay, come fall something tells me I will. I guarantee, though I work part time, I will have more than enough time to work for you, this is without questioning, I would have never applied if I couldn’t bring the goods to the table, trust me. Many days I sit bored in a dorm silly, cause I don’t work that day or classes are finished, so I have all the time in the world I am a hard worker & I believe living life to it’s fullest, takes effort in order to receive it’s glory

Did he get the job?  Please, share your thoughts!  I’d also love to know how much of this was put through Google Translate.  Think any of it was?  I hope some of it was, anyway.

What’s your favorite line?  There are so many good ones!  This should replace the standard lourem ipsum.

Pittsburgh Zoo Photos

Posted on by Standard Reply

Got some cool shots from the Pittsburgh Zoo on Sunday, thought I’d share some of my favorites.  Just click on the thumb to see the full-size image:



You can check ’em all out here: Grid / Slideshow