I didn’t blog this, but it could easily be one of my road rage rants. People are ridiculous, especially this blue truck driving Jagoff Yinzer:
Some people just need a swift kick in the ass, even if it’s only figurative. So, please, read the post, enjoy, & add YaJagoff.com to your reader or follow them on Facebook or Twitter something. You won’t be disappointed!
YaJagoff.com | Jagoff Super Hero In Action!
Make sure you can get the whole way through an intersection before you actually go through it. I see these dingleberries every weekday morning. I use the word dignleberry because they cling to automobile in front of them. Please, study the illustration of the offending intersection by Bing Maps & mad paint.NET skills:
Don't be a dingleberry.
To drive the point home, what you’re seeing is my path (the green arrow) and the wrong path (the red arrow). The yellow outline is the zone where you should not be when my light turns green. Let’s call that zone the clean wipe zone. There are two lanes headed in my direction. The left lane is where I need to be, the right lane is where most of the red path dingleberries are going, so they can get up on the major highway close by.
One major dingleberry always ends up straddling the inside lane, clearly inside the clean wipe zone. Sometimes the dingleberry has a friend that sneaks behind, straddling the lanes coming towards me. That’s super dingleberryish. Don’t be a dingleberry!
(Dingleberries in the clean wipe zone cause incredible discomfort, and sometimes bring out horn-honking traffic trolls.)
If you end up in the clean wipe zone when my light is green, you are a dingleberry. There may be several reasons for the offending action…
I have solutions for all of these problems…
Are we clear?
People consistently drive incorrectly, illegally, and dangerously at more than a few intersections that I travel through on a somewhat regular basis. I’d like to deal with them all eventually, but let’s just start with one at a time. I’ve talked about this kind of stuff before, and I’m not saying that I’m the perfect driver or never do anything wrong with my vehicles… but this kind of stuff is covered in the PA driver’s manual, isn’t it?
The first intersection that I’d like to deal with has a clearly marked right-of-way, but it’s apparently not clear to all drivers licensed by the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. First a description of the intersection in question thanks to Google Maps & my mad paint.NET skills:
Can you find all of the STOP signs? ( Hint: There's just 1.)
Does this really need any explanation? Of course it does, or I wouldn’t be here ranting about it. The green arrows are the path I usually take. I chose green for my arrows, because I’m obviously always right.
Red arrow path people… I’m talkin’ to you. I’ve seen you all try to pull out in front of me, no matter which green-arrowed path I’m taking. You sit there, eking forward as if to tell me you’re interested in playing intersection chicken, or simply that you don’t quite comprehend that I don’t also have a stop sign. To channel Dr. Seuss;
I don’t have a stop sign going up the hill,
I don’t have a stop sign going down the hill.
I can spot stop signs with such skill,
It must make you very ill.
I don’t have a stop sign going around the bend,
I don’t have a stop sign like you, my friend.
In case it’s unclear, the stop on the sign indicates that you are to sit there until all others in the intersection (with the right-of way) have gone though. Which unfortunately for you, in this instance, is everyone except you.
...but YOU do.
Maybe they need an “opposing traffic does not stop” sign or something to the same effect there (if there isn’t one already). Maybe we need someone to stand there, and hand out printed copies of instructions on how to navigate the intersection successfully …or even just a copy of this blog post.
Please, stop crowding forward when the tiny section of road gets backed up at that light in the morning. Please, stop making faces at me and throwing your hands wildly into the air like I have wronged you in some way as I come up the hill around the bend to the left. Please don’t cut me off as I’m waiting in the backed-up traffic to get to the light. I don’t have a stop sign. You do. I didn’t cut you off. I’m driving correctly, you’re an anus.
(We don’t use that word nearly enough.)
I have pretty much no mechanical ability. I know this. There are certainly things that I can do… like change the oil, but where we’re at now with on-street parking it’s not worth the minimal difference in price for the convenience. That’s about the extent of my ability though. I can change batteries, air filters, maybe an oil filter, and am now confident I could install an alternator… but that’s about it. I won’t do brakes.
Shouldn't there be a belt there?
This morning, on my way to work, I ‘m going down a side street in Mt. Lebanon and the battery light & Brake warning light both come on at the same time. I know this usually isn’t good. Two lights generally = “oh shit”. My power steering was gone. I checked that level, and the brake fluid level… both were in the good range. I had pulled over in front of a nice large house on a side street in Mt. Lebanon.
I called my wife to come get me, took her to work, & commandeered her car for the day… so I could figure out what was going on. In having no mechanical knowledge… I have “a guy” that I trust with all my auto repairs. Only problem being the auto place is where I grew up, not where I currently live. I called the guy to ask what the meaning of the battery charge & brake warning light combo could be. (My wife Googled it on her phone, but I wanted to confirm.) He was thinking alternator too… I thought I was going to have to learn to replace an alternator today. Towing the car to where I grew up and paying a professional to install an alternator weren’t in the budget this week.
After getting prices from several local auto places (& after posting on Facebook/Twitter and maybe Google+ asking for advice, and looking around online on how to install an alternator), I decided to go check my car out again before buying an alternator. Luckily… I noticed something was missing: a belt. I have no idea what it’s called… but it connects the alternator & power steering. (Which I found out after a 2nd call to my “guy” to confirm that all the symptoms would be the same.)
So, a belt seemed easier & cheaper than the alternator. Sadly, I have no idea where the first belt went. I traced my route several times… no belt on the road, or on the side of the road. Someone must have grabbed it minutes after I dropped it. I had to go on the advice of the helpful guys at Advanced Auto. I’ve had good experiences with them in the past… their pro-rated battery warranty is killer.
No fit good.
I go to Advanced Auto location one… and get the belt that’s recomended for my car. I never questioned if it was the belt I needed… I mean, their database wouldn’t be wrong, would it?
An interesting aside, that I will chuckle about until the end of time… The guy at Advanced Auto location1 tried to sell me a belt that was $18.99, but even thought the computer said there were 2 in stock… he couldn’t find them. So, he said there was one for $11.99. I asked if I should be worried about the difference in price… if it meant a great deal of difference in quality. He said “Well, yeah… but this is all we have. Basically, the cheap one is made overseas and the expensive one is made here.” That made me feel better. It’s a Subaru. I don’t care where the parts came from. They’re all probably from Japan or Mexico even though it was all assembled in Indiana. When I got the cheaper belt… and went to install it, it said “MADE IN U.S.A.” in big white letters. I literally laughed out loud. Can we get over this “other countries are inferior to us in making stuff” thing? It’s 2011. Advanced Auto ought to put a bullshit meter on that guy.
Well, the physical removal of the bolts, the belt cover, and loosening of the alternator was ridiculously simple. The belt wouldn’t quite go on. No biggie, I thought. There’s got to be something else I can loosen… or maybe I’m not thinking of something else. I called by uncle who’s a tinkerer and who has shown me how to replace a starter for some advice. I figured there’s some magic shoehorn kind of move where I can slip the belt on, no problem. After a chat, we assumed that I had done everything… I just needed a bigger belt. He even looked up the part number for me online. Armed with knowledge and confidence, I headed back to Advance Auto location one. I described my new dilemma, asked for & received the larger belt, and headed back to my ghetto Subaru broken down in a fancy neighborhood.
The new longer belt went on with little effort, and then… wouldn’t pull taught even when the alternator was lifted the while way up. My patience was being tested today. I called Advanced Auto… and asked… if there was a size in between the two sizes I had. I was told that there was, but that I probably didn’t want it. The guy told me to un-bolt the pulley from the power steering, and move it to make the smaller belt fit. I could tell that even if I got the smaller belt to fit, there wouldn’t be enough slack to lift the alternator off of the close by A/C belt. (I learned some new terms today.)
I went to Advanced Auto location #2, also thankfully close by… and asked for the in-between belt. I was again told that I probably wanted the smaller one again if the bigger one didn’t fit. I went through my explanation of why I wanted the middle size… and was advised to buy both the smaller and middle size (that all said made in the USA and were the cheaper brand by the way), and to really try to make the smaller one fit “because that’s what the computer says belongs on the car”. Good logic, but we’re past that.
For poops n’ giggles, I tried the smaller one… again… and ran into the same problem… again. I used the in-between size, and it fit perfectly. There’s enough room to loosen it if I need to, and there’s enough room to tighten it if I need to. It’d Goldilocks’ proverbial “just right”. Thanks to Advanced Auto’s awesome return policy, I was able to return/exchange all the belts I didn’t use. I returned the last one again to Advanced Auto location 2.
(Odd aside #2 – the longer belt was $1.07 cheaper than the shorter belt – but also “MADE IN U.S.A.”.)
That’s 4 trips to 2 different Advanced Autos to buy 3 different sized belts to find the 1 that fit.
So, what should have taken me about 5 minutes took all day. and probably half a tank of gas. At any rate, it’s done. $11-ish for a belt is cheaper than $129-ish for an alternator and me doing it = more savings.
If you have a 1998 Subaru Legacy Outback and need to replace the belt that goes from the Alternator to the Power Steering… and the prescribed 345K5 doesn’t fit. Try the 350K5 before you try the 355K5. I’m not arguing with Advanced Auto’s HAL 9000 or “made in ‘Merica” employees. I’m just sayin’.
Thanks to everyone who helped today… with comments, advice, and moral support… whether it was by phone or social networking. I really appreciate it and am glad I had so many people willing to help out! If you ever need auto advice, don’t call me. You can call me for cooking or PC advice… maybe even general electronic gadgetry.
I’m pretty sure this is illegal, but I see it happen all the time. Can someone of authority weigh in on this? Opinions are of course welcome, but if you’re going to claim why it’s legal/illegal… you have to give me some kind of backup.
Let me describe the scenario with the help of an illustration thanks to Paint.NET, Google Maps, & a Google image search…
This is a dick-move.
We’ll pretend I’m the blue car, behind the white truck, and in front of the little yellow bastard.
The white truck is trying to make a left at the light, only problem being (use your imagination here) a flurry of automobiles in the other 2 oncoming lanes coming forth with less than a car-length in between them, and at a speed well over the posted 25MPH limit. (Never-mind that here the middle lane switches traffic directions depending on the time of day – that’s a whole different ridiculous issue.)
Of course, the truck is forced to stop in what I would like to consider the middle of the intersection, causing frustration to rise exponentially for each halted vehicle behind the pale horse of immobilization.
As the truck plays the waiting game, and I hone my skills with the Force trying to will a break in traffic to allow him (or her) to turn and more importantly get out of my way… the impatient arrogant bastard behind me decides to honk the horn.
Honking the horn when one is stuck in traffic is the action of a self-absorbed angry little person. A honk is expected & appropriate if someone cuts you off, someone’s sitting at a green light, or backing into you. A honk is inappropriate when everyone is stuck, & no one can go anywhere.
Now, I know this indignant troll of a human being wanted me to take the path of the green arrow above… which is a common Pittsburgh driving move. I’m sure it happens elsewhere too, but it’s quite common around here. I believe said move is not only illegal, but also quite dangerous. I know passing on the shoulder is discouraged if not illegal, and doing it in the middle of an intersection isn’t the best idea.
It’s dangerous for the following reasons if you must know, traffic troll:
If you think of any other reasons why it’s a bad idea, please let me know. If you can show me a link where the laws concerning such vehicular interactions reside online (especially for PA), I’d love to pass the link along to the honking trolls out there.
If you’re a traffic troll, I’d like to express to you that all you’re doing is putting the person in front of you in danger, as well as potentially yourself, and adding to the aggravation levels of everyone around you… when they’re already sufficiently aggravated.
This has been brought to you as a public service announcement warning against the dangers of traffic trolls. I’m sure PennDOT and the State Police would get behind this if they read my blog.
You’re not a traffic troll, are you?
Last night, it took me two hours to get home… it’s normally a 35 minute drive. The industrial park in which I work was in chaos. The roads weren’t that bad, but tires were spinning because of people flooring the gas… and the local cops stopped a bunch of cars… close together… on a slush-covered hill.
I took these photos while sitting still for quite some time, not while moving. Yinz are ridiculous.
I saw this video thanks to Twitter this morning… I’m pretty sure it’s the one I’ve heard talked about as being a clip on GMA yesterday. It sparked awe in me, and perhaps obviously this point, a rant.
I’m not even sure where to begin. I mean, I’ve been amazed for years about the lack of caution during hazardous road conditions from my fellow southwestern PA motorists… but this is beyond amazement. If I were in charge of public service announcements, my #1 topic/message would be that “AWD/4WD may help you go, but it doesn’t help you stop“… and to leave space between you & the vehicle in front of (or beside) you. Too many people just drive like nothing’s going on out of the norm as far as road conditions during inclement weather. Then again, you have the other end of the extreme… people driving like they’re afraid, and being so ‘cautious’ that they’re a danger to others. But that’s all general. I’d love to just point out the insanity in this video.
I’d love to read your thoughts.
(Video & News story also available here.)
There’s a problem I’ve noticed over the years since I first got my driver’s license. It’s ridiculous, rampant, and totally uncalled for. It doesn’t have as much to do with driving as it does walking, but I consider it a road-related issue.
People don’t know how to walk in parking lots. They have this “pedestrian has the right of way” mentality that has inexplicably warped into a strange sense of entitlement and devilish pleasure in making you the motorist yield to their ambling nonchalance.
Below, I have an illustration (thanks to Google Maps) of the new Market District parking lot in Robinson. Please take a moment to study & understand before you move on to the next paragraph.
I get worked up about this quite easily (obviously I guess), and my thoughts are all over the place… so I’ll try to make my points concise with the aid of a bulleted list. (I have blogged about this before too, if you find that you need further reading.) I really would like to start a discussion on this in the comments if you’re so inclined.
Focusing mostly on the middle-of-the-lane walkers, but also on the anglers, and the “too cool for the crosswalk”-ers, I’d just like to comment on the types of people that I believe they may be.
First, there are the truly oblivious. I believe this to be the smallest sect of the parking lot meanderites. I think some people are just really not all that aware of their surroundings, and have no comprehension of the havoc that they wreak around themselves. (Arguably, stopping time in a parking lot is not exactly “wreaking havoc”, but it sure bites my ass.) These people are just like Mr. Bean, and since Mr. Bean is somewhat of a lovable character, I can forgive these people. If you know one of them, please tell them about parking lot urgency. If you don’t know one of them… walk more quickly, in straight angles, in designated areas, and close to the cars in parking lots. (Because you are one of them.)
Then we have category #2. The entitled. They’re a pedestrian. They always have the right of way, and that’s it. In their minds, anyway. I’d like these people to see what Pennsylvania law has to say…
Title 75 of the Pennsylvania Consolidated Statutes, contains the laws which govern the operation of vehicles on Pennsylvania roads.
Chapter 35: SPECIAL VEHICLES AND PEDESTRIANS
Subchapter C: Rights and Duties of PedestriansSection 3541. Obedience of pedestrians to traffic-control devices and regulations
(a) Traffic control devices.—A pedestrian shall obey the instructions of a police officer or other appropriately attired person authorized to direct, control or regulate traffic.(b) Traffic and pedestrian-control signals.—Local authorities by ordinance may require pedestrians to obey traffic and pedestrian-control signals as provided in sections 3112 (relating to traffic-control signals) and 3113 (relating to pedestrian-control signals).
Section 3542. Right-of-way of pedestrians in crosswalks.
(a) General rule.—When traffic-control signals are not in place or not in operation, the driver of a vehicle shall yield the right-of-way to a pedestrian crossing the roadway within any marked crosswalk or within any unmarked crosswalk at an intersection.(b) Exercise of care by pedestrian.—No pedestrian shall suddenly leave a curb or other place of safety and walk or run into the path of a vehicle which is so close as to constitute a hazard.
and…
Section 3543. Pedestrians crossing at other than crosswalks.
(a) General rule.—Every pedestrian crossing a roadway at any point other than within a crosswalk at an intersection or any marked crosswalk shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles upon the roadway.(b) At pedestrian tunnel or overhead crossing.—Any pedestrian crossing a roadway at a point where a pedestrian tunnel or overhead pedestrian crossing has been provided shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles upon the roadway.
(c) Between controlled intersections in urban district.—Between adjacent intersections in urban districts at which traffic-control signals are in operation pedestrians shall not cross at any place except in a marked crosswalk.
(d) Crossing intersection diagonally.—No pedestrian shall cross a roadway intersection diagonally unless authorized by official traffic-control devices or at the discretion of a police officer or other appropriately attired person authorized to direct, control or regulate traffic. When authorized to cross diagonally, pedestrians shall cross only in accordance with the signal pertaining to the crossing movements.
And the best part…
Section 3552. Penalty for violation of subchapter.
Any pedestrian violating any provision of this subchapter is guilty of a summary offense and shall, upon conviction, be sentenced to pay a fine of $5.
Interesting, no? I’m not sure if these apply any differently in a parking lot, as it’s probably private property… but I’d love to see an officer out there passing out $5 tickets for every butthole who steps boldly out in front of a moving car with the incorrect assumption that “pedestrians always have the right of way”. Why not? I mean, they’re cracking down on parking in the South Side after years of chaos. Is this any less ridiculous?
The third and last group? The spiteful. They know you’re anxious to get by, but they don’t care. They derive pleasure in knowing that you’re most likely impatiently waiting to move forward at a speed that actually registers on your speedometer, but that they alone have the power to prevent that from happening. Maybe they had a bad day and want to pass along the crappy karma. Maybe they have a controlling spouse, boss, or family member, and this is how they lash out. This is the group that turns to look at you, but continues to walk down the middle of a driving lane instead of moving to one side so you can get by. This is the woman that stops mid-stride and mid-lane to dig through her purse for her car keys while you idle and boil. This is the group of teenage boys that walks 4 wide and dresses “hard” like they from the streets thanks to mom’s credit card and Journey’s or Hot Topic. This is the wide-angle walker who sees you approaching, but instead of walking straight across the lane quickly looks straight ahead in their “5 rows over from where they started” path. They’re also the ones who let you follow them down the echelon of filled of parking spaces during the holiday shopping season, and cut over to the next row or put bags in their car and proceed to walk right back where they came from without giving you the courtesy wave-off or the universally understood over-exaggerated mouthing of “I’m not leaving” while shaking their head and pointing or waving their arms. I suspect that they’re also the people who double-dip, don’t flush public toilets, and kick puppies.
That should just about cover it. So please, pass this along so we can all get on the same page.
World (and Lunar) Domination 