Category Archives: Stuff from the Internet

Wendy’s Forgot How to Melt Cheese ๐Ÿคท

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.

I forgot that I blogged about Wendy’s not that long ago by sharing a pair of glorious Google Maps reviews. I guess I blogged about them way back in 2009 too. They never replied, apparently. Maybe I pick on them too much? Like this fork fail in 2012!

Sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t… but the mazes are fun. Aren’t they? (I’m looking at you Pizza Hut! Yes, you! I saw that dirty delete. But you too, La Choy, Pepperidge Farm, Aldi, & The Potato Conglomerate!)

I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.

Wendy's Maze - They Need Help Melting Cheese

This is what I wrote…

From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11โ€ฏPM
Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA)
To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com>
Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,

I write to you today with great concern.  Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles.  The dining room is not clean.  There are no baked potatoes about โ…“ of the time when I try to order them.  Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive.  Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater. 

We should have ordered in the app.  That was my first mistake.  We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato.  After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes.  A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier  laughed, looked at  me and repeated the rather rude “NO!”  Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea.  Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.

My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single.  The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored.  In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper.  The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier.  This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID.  Who the hell pays in cash?

I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us.  I mean, at this point who is robbing who?  If necessary, I will send a check to make it right.  Do people still use checks?  Maybe I can Venmo you.

Let me add some more context.  We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries.  I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal.  Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup.  Both pumps were empty.  There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue.  I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home.  My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets.  For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream.  I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there.  I commend your commitment to quality.

Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past.  I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days.  What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw?  Cheese.

That’s right, cheese.  How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted?  American cheese too!  If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt.  I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point.  But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese?  Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill?  Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam?  Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact?  Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).

I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers?  It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.  

Also, are you OK?  How is this permissible or even passable?  Is no one from corporate checking on these locations?  Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program?  If there is, are these standards being met?  If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken.  It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare.  I am not looking for free food.  I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.

I have attached a maze for you.  It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation.  Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track.  Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine?  I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper.  It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality.  The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese.  I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings.  They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container.  I miss those days.  Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?

I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers.  ๐Ÿคฏ  What happened?  I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar.  How did we come to this?

I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far.  I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.

Inquisitively.

-Eric

—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

This is what I got back:

From:ย Wendy’s Customer Careย <customercare@wendys.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21โ€ฏPM
Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ]
To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>

Dear Eric,

Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.

At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.

The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.

We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendyโ€™s App, tap the โ€˜Offersโ€™ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!

Regards,

The Wendy’s Company

And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.

I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:

From:ย Moundsville 391ย <moundsville00391@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15โ€ฏAM
Subject: Following Up
To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>

Hello Eric, 

My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal. 

Best Regards,

Ryder

I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and ๐• Twitter accounts. ๐Ÿคฃ No response from FB Messenger, either.

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

I may have to move to snail mail.

Have any advice or similar experience?

Oh, I almost forgot. How are they going to make a burger with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns if they can’t melt cheese? This is absolute shenanigans.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes

Posted on by Standard 2
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

Well then, it’s finally here. I finished maze book number two! This one is better than the last one, I promise. The first was sort of a test run just to see how Amazon KDP works. I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone that bought that book, but this one just objectively looks better and much more time was put into its creation. It ought to be much more challenging and enjoyable, IMHO.

It’s called You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes. Thanks to @brain.d.37 on Threads for suggesting the title!

This book a collection of a bunch more larger mazes, and a few small ones that I have been drawing since late 2023. There’s no common theme other than most of the mazes have a silly vibe. A few have no vibe at all. There’s aliens, rodents, yard work, holiday stuff, rock n’ roll, a treasure map, food, retail aversion, gross stuff, & more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

I hope you consider picking up a copy for yourself, & maybe even one for a friend? If not, just sharing the link to someone who you think may enjoy it, or just sharing it in general would be awesome.

The link is https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9Y7SFXS and I’d love if you could share it, review it, favorite it or save it to a list… anything to help even if you’re not interested in a purchase. You could give me a good (or terrible) review or add it to your list on GoodReads too, if that’s your thing.

I had fun making a collage with punk ‘zine vibes for the cover. I busted out the mixed media, printed on weird paper, got two cutting, ripping, & coffee staining… and unearthed the leopard & cheetah print tape.

All of the mazes were hand-drawn, scanned in, edited (& “solved”) in paint.NET, & put together with Open Office. I haven’t stepped into the world of digital drawing yet, and I like my free programs. Someday, I’ll probably dive into GIMP a little more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Full Front & Back Cover)

I love drawing the mazes, and it’s a great creative outlet like blogging or making music or playing out live. I’m sitting on a pile of old ones that I can convert into a book… but I need to make sure they’re all solvable and do the solutions.

Find the tone! Guitar amp stack maze collage.

Some are too big to fit on my scanner, and scanning with my phone has less than desirable results… so I’m gonna have to go somewhere like a FedEx Office store and hope they can help before they all disappear. I have a problem picking up any notebook that catches my eye and is the right price, regardless of size & paper type. I like the feel & the calming of pen on paper.

Some of the ones that I have posted here in writing goofy emails/letters to companies probably can’t be included because of copyrights or trademarks when I include their products. (Unless La Choy/Conagra, Pizza Hut, Sheetz, Dollar Shave Club, Pepperidge Farm, Disney/Lucasfilm & more sign off on it, or it falls under fair use? I guess I could have included this one or these two.)

I guess I did figure this whole thing out.

Because I have been excited about this, and I made a small collage with leftover bits, I popped up some new merch designs in my TeePublic & RedBubble stores with that new collage & the book cover images. I do have some older designs there with a few of the mazes that are featured in this book too. If you have an account & follow me on either of those sites, it may help my stuff get seen a bit more. I’d appreciate any form of liking/sharing/tagging if you’re so inclined!

TeePublic "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13
RedBubble "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13

In fact, check out all these designs from or inspired by the book, you can get them on all kinds of merch at each store! (I ordered a sticker, a magnet, a coffee cup, & a hoodie so I’m already in the hole.)

Cover & Collage Designs:

Mazes featured in the book:

So, what do you think? Any of it catch your idea? Any ideas for maze merch? Think you’ll pick up a copy?

If you happen to get something, post a photo or video of yourself with it, & tag me on social media! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

For those about to rock, we salute yinz! (AC๐Ÿ—ฒDC โ€ข PWR๐Ÿ—ฒUP โ€ข Pittsburgh)

Posted on by Standard Reply

โ€ข AC๐Ÿ—ฒDC โ€ข PWR๐Ÿ—ฒUP โ€ข Acrisure Stadium โ€ข Pittsburgh PA โ€ข Thursday May 8th, 2025 โ€ข

So, I have been a casual AC/DC fan for as long as I can remember getting into music. They were always there, always a mainstay, always the butt of “same sounding songs” jokes alongside fellow icons the Ramones. I believe I bought Razor’s Edge & Back in Black about the same time in Jr. High. I really dug “Big Gun” from the Last Action Hero soundtrack, and of course, loved the older stuff with Bon Scott as I got into them.

My kids heard me playing “Big Balls” when they were younger, and of course glommed onto it as the most hilarious song ever. I think I created a rock fan with my son, as he has really dug into the AC/DC catalog.

He wanted AC/DC tickets for his birthday, so we got some… then later traded up when a good friend said he wanted to come to town to catch the show with another buddy, as the speculation spread that it may be their last tour and they weren’t playing out his way.

I prepped by making a playlist of suspected tunes on Amazon Music & Spotify thanks to Setlist.fm. I also have one called 100% Certified Angus on Amazon & Spotify that we rock sometimes too! And my son has been spinning Back in Black on vinyl of all things. (I refuse to get into vinyl or guitar pedals, because I already have a guitar problem.)

Off we went for my son’s first stadium show, first time seeing Heinz Field Acrisure Stadium, & first time seeing AC/DC live! We did catch The Aquabats! at the Roxian last year and that was super badass. That was his 1st concert (if we don’t count the incredible & talented Laurie Berkner for a Christmas concert when the kids were super small) and 1st punk rock show!

A pastiche of images from the AC/DC show in Pittsburgh in 2025.
๐Ÿค˜ For those about to rock, we salute you! ๐Ÿค˜

Just a mashup of clips I got that evening of my dude enjoying his night:

If you follow me on the socials, you probably saw a few signs that we were there. It’s super exciting to me to bond over music as it has been such an important thing to me over the years, as a creative outlet, a place of joy, and comfort.

I can say he said it was “the best night of his life,” so I think he had fun! Ha ha. I am glad I got to see Angus & Brian perform. Man, the band are tight, but with a nice loose groove. I knew they were powerhouse rock icons, but to see it? Absolutely amazing. The show production was crazy with the infamous bell, canons, fireworks, huge LED screens, pyrotechnics, confetti, on-the-fly graphics enhancing live video… but at the same time it all seemed very simple. I’m not sure how to convey it. The frills were not the focus. Obviously Angus and his SG’s are the focus. Even Brian knows this, and he looks like he is having the time of his life up there, knowing he has the coolest job in the world.

I think Angus may be slightly slower now that he was in the 80s or 90s, but at 70 years old… he is undeniably crushing it skipping, shimmying, and duck-walking around the stage while playing rambling angry blues licks, goading the crowd into cheering, stripping off parts of the schoolboy uniform, & taking 17 minute extended guitar solos. At one point, he even defiled the fretboard with his necktie as a slide. That is how you put on a show. Some sources online seemed to think Brian’s vocals were low in the mix. I think that was the case where we were at on the floor… but videos from elsewhere have it perfect. His voice is amazing, and again, at 77… he is running around belting out these immortal songs like it’s nothing for 2 damn hours.

The crowd was sedate, lots of people fist-bumping or throwing horns or thumbs up to my dude as we went through the crowd & got to our seats. There were obviously visible drunks, but nothing I saw got too out of hand, even the tailgating outside seemed to be chill.

Scott Mervis has a great review from the PG, and Mike Palm has one from the Trib. I was also able to find a TON of video on YouTube so we can remember the night as long as YouTube is a thing. Ha ha. Check out this bonkers playlist that I am still updating:

It has all kinds of videos from promo stuff, to stage setup, to pyrotechnic stuff, vloggers, and nearly every song individually, from a bunch of different vantage points, and someone grabbed the whole show!

We have had a lot of craziness going on lately, so this was a fun respite and I think we needed it. Hopefully this will be a day long remembered by both of us as a highlight to this year.

So, were you there? Share your stories, pictures, & videos in the comments! I’d love more YouTube stuff to add to the playlist too. I think the only individual song I’m missing is “Rock N’ Roll Train.”

If you weren’t there, or saw them some other time, or in your city, or just want to drop some AC/DC memories or lore, do that too!

๐Ÿค˜โšก๐ŸŽธ

I wish I had a pedal-mobile.

Posted on by Standard Reply

I don’t have a pedal-mobile like the savagely sardonic Pat Finnerty, but I do have some weird mostly cheap pedals. You’ve seen my guitars, you may have heard some of my musical output, but I need to set up a spot to rock again after letting chaos accumulate in my jam space.

A bunch of guitar pedals on the dirty concrete floor.
Pedals-Schmeadals

I posited the following to social media, and AI:

How would you hook up the following components to maximize use/effectiveness of the given equipment for a guitar rig?

The Amps:

  • Gorilla TC-35 (Combo)
  • Fender Blues Jr. (Combo)
  • Positive Grid Spark (Combo)
  • Lil’ Smokey (Combo)
  • Orange Micro Terror (Head)
  • Laney 2×12 (Cab)
  • Yamaha MSR 100 (PA)

The Pedals:

  • D’Addario/Planet Waves PW-CT-04 Tuner
  • Ernie Ball 6185 Wah
  • Quinnamp Dirt & Ernie (Distortion/Boost)
  • The Spamp+ (Amp / Preamp)
  • Ammoon Pock Loop (Looper)
  • LiveWire Solutions ABY1 ABY Box
  • Joyo BAATSIN (Overdrive/Distortion)
  • Crazy Tube Circuits Unobtanium (Overdrive)
  • Mooer E7 Synth
  • DigiTech Trio Band Creator + FS3X Footswitch

Is there a good order to the pedals? Typically I have the Trio going out to the Yamaha PA, and the ABY going into the Micro Terror/Laney and the Blues Jr. Ignoring the Spark & (sadly) the TC-35. I’m not sure which way to order the pedals, though.

Also, do I split the signal early & put different effects to each amp? I have done that with the wah and it sounds neat.

I get that it’s all subjective, but I love to over-think things… so help me do that.

I did ask Perplexity, ChatGPT, & Gemini for advice, and they seem to provide pretty standard stuff that you may see in guitar forums.

From Perplexity:

๐ŸŽธ

To set up your guitar rig effectively, the goal is to optimize signal flow for tonal clarity while integrating the ABY box and DigiTech Trio Band Creator with your PA system. Here’s a structured approach:

Pedal Order Recommendations

  1. Tuner (D’Addario PW-CT-04):
    Place first to ensure a clean signal for accurate tuning136.
  2. Wah (Ernie Ball 6185):
    Follows the tuner, as wah pedals interact best with an unaltered guitar signal135.
  3. Distortion/Boost (Quinnamp Dirt & Ernie):
    Early gain staging preserves dynamic response. Stack with subsequent drives145.
  4. Overdrives (Joyo BAATSIN, Crazy Tube Circuits Unobtanium):
    Order these based on preference (e.g., lower-gain first into higher-gain)146.
  5. Preamp (The Spamp+):
    Acts as a tone-shaping buffer. Place after drives to avoid coloring their response34.
  6. Synth (Mooer E7):
    Position after drives for consistent tracking. Synths can behave unpredictably with distorted signals45.
  7. DigiTech Trio Band Creator:
    Place here to analyze your processed guitar signal. Route its output to the Yamaha PA for bass/drum separation24.
  8. Looper (Ammoon Pock Loop):
    Last in the chain to capture the entire signal, including the Trioโ€™s guitar input. This ensures loops include all effects34.
  9. ABY Box (LiveWire ABY1):
    Split the final signal to your Orange Micro Terror/Laney 2×12 and Fender Blues Jr.2.
    • Enable ground lift/isolation if using both amps simultaneously to avoid hum2.

Amplifier Configuration

  • Orange Micro Terror: Connect to the Laney 2×12 cab (ensure impedance matching).
  • Fender Blues Jr.: Use as a standalone combo.
  • Yamaha PA: Dedicated to the Trioโ€™s band mix for a full stereo/backing track experience24.

Key Considerations

  • Experiment with Drive Order: Test the Joyo BAATSIN and Unobtanium in different sequences (e.g., BAATSIN as a mid-boost into the Unobtaniumโ€™s higher gain)14.
  • Synth Placement: If tracking issues arise, try moving the Mooer E7 earlier (post-wah)5.
  • ABY Ground Noise: Use the LiveWire ABY1โ€™s ground-lift feature if humming occurs2.

This setup balances conventional signal-chain logic with your specific gear, ensuring the Trioโ€™s band tracks and dual-amp rig work cohesively. Always test and tweak to suit your playing style!

Citations:

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/guitarpedals/comments/w23bgj/my_first_pedals_in_what_order_do_i_put_them/
  2. https://www.reddit.com/r/guitarpedals/comments/18q86t2/aby_with_pedal_boards_and_2_amps/
  3. https://spartanmusic.co.uk/blogs/smblog/12314153-the-essentials-of-setting-up-ordering-your-guitar-pedals
  4. https://www.strymon.net/setting-up-your-effect-signal-chain/
  5. https://www.earthquakerdevices.com/blog-posts/aarons-bass-hole-get-in-line-pedal-order-101
  6. https://articles.boss.info/is-there-a-perfect-pedal-order/
  7. https://www.sweetwater.com/insync/what-is-the-best-pedal-order/
  8. https://catalinbread.com/pages/pedal-order-101
  9. https://www.laney.co.uk/blog/an-easy-guide-to-ampless-guitar-rigs-explained/
  10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmSEigSiXXY
  11. https://articles.boss.info/the-ultimate-guide-to-guitar-effects-pedal-order-and-signal-chain/
  12. https://forum.orangeamps.com/viewtopic.php?t=22000
  13. https://www.guitarguitar.co.uk/news/141962/
  14. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH9FO1EMIPQ
  15. https://www.radialeng.com/blog/understanding-aby-switchers
  16. https://thejhsshow.com/articles/understanding-pedal-order
  17. https://www.reddit.com/r/GuitarAmps/comments/lqs3c2/trading_orange_micro_terror_and_cab_for_a_blues/
  18. https://www.musiciansfriend.com/effects-pedals
  19. https://www.reddit.com/r/GuitarAmps/comments/11gnatf/how_do_people_setup_multiple_amps/
  20. https://forum.orangeamps.com/viewtopic.php?t=20110

Answer from Perplexity: https://www.perplexity.ai/search/how-would-you-hook-up-the-foll-tU6VWW5dR1eQrF1her2o1g?utm_source=copy_output

๐ŸŽธ

Perplexity would not generate a schematic, but ChatGPT & Gemini did… or they tried. They look cool upon first glance, then get real weird when you zoom in… and they don’t even follow the advice of the chain setup. Clearly there is a disparity between the text generation & the image generation. Some of the pedal representations are really cool though, especially with GhatGPT. I can’t help but wonder where it is stolen from. Guitar mag/website rig rundowns?

Gemini generated pedal schematic.

I dunno when Fender started using orange tolex & separate heads… but the pedals look fancy.

ChatGPT generated pedal schematic.

It clearly used the Dirt & Ernie art for the Unobtanium, but it stole that gorgeous Micro Terror from somewhere… and WTF is a Crazy Tauloc? Sounds like an extra on Star Trek.

Granted, I am generally a plug-in, crank the gain, and keep the volume low kind of player. I don’t so effects much. I would like to monkey around with that I have.

Here is where I solicit your advice in the comments and on social media. ๐Ÿค˜

Biscuit Dough Pretzel …Blobs?

Posted on by Standard 5

The algorithm wanted me to try the canned biscuit dough pretzel bites. It kept coming up. I kept clicking. I posted about it on social media asking questions. I looked at recipes online. They all had different methods! Are these people even trying their own recipes? They’re wildly different.

As far as my pretzel tastes: I like Auntie Anne’s the best, SuperPretzel is the gold standard, and Philly Pretzel Factory is passable.

A table laying out the different methods of prepping pretzel bites with egg wash, butter, boiling in baking soda, or just a baking soda bath.
Crazy Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blob Table

I decided to try some different methods, & bounce it off of AI to get a cooking time/temp. I put the following into Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity:

Hello.  I have seen many recipes for pretzel bites made from pre-made canned biscuit dough online.  There are so many variations, I was wondering if you could recommend one singular method as to time and temperature.  I would like to bake them in the oven.  My oven has traditional, convection, and air fry settings.  Can you suggest a time, temperature, and setting?

Also, I am having trouble deciding if boiling in baking soda water, or just coating in baking soda water is the way to go.  Also, what is the best ratio of water to baking soda?

And, I hear egg wash and just a melted butter wash are good ways to coat them before baking.  Would you use the whole egg, or just the whites or yolks?  Can you do both?

I am tempted to bake pretzels in 4 quadrants, one quarter each of them in the following combos;

  • Boiled in baking soda water / Egg wash.
  • Boiled in baking soda water / Melted butter.
  • Coated in baking soda water / Egg wash
  • Coated in baking soda water / Melted butter

Do you think that would solve most of my questions?  Can you put together the baking time & temp, and baking soda solution measurements and boiling or coating times?

Here’s what they said:

Here's a breakdown of how to make delicious pretzel bites from biscuit dough: 1. Baking Soda Solution: Water: 8 cups Baking Soda: 1/2 cup 2. Boiling vs. Coating: Boiling: Bring the baking soda solution to a rolling boil in a large pot. Carefully drop in a few pretzel bites at a time for 30 seconds. Use a slotted spoon to remove them and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Coating: In a shallow dish, combine the baking soda and water. Dip each pretzel bite into the solution to coat completely. Let excess drip off before placing them on the prepared baking sheet. 3. Egg Wash vs. Butter Wash: Egg Wash: Whisk together 1 large egg with 1 tablespoon of water. Brush generously over the pretzel bites. Butter Wash: Melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Brush evenly over the pretzel bites. 4. Baking: Oven Setting: Convection Bake is generally recommended for even cooking. Temperature: 400ยฐF (200ยฐC) Time: 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. 5. Your 4-Quadrant Experiment: Your idea of baking four batches with different combinations is a fantastic way to compare and find your favorite! Here's a summary: Quadrant 1: Boiled in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 2: Boiled in baking soda water + Melted butter Quadrant 3: Coated in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 4: Coated in baking soda water + Melted butter Tips & Considerations: Biscuit Dough: Use your favorite brand or make your own! Shape: You can shape the biscuit dough into balls, twists, or any other desired shape. Salt: Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing with the egg or butter wash. Cooling: Let the pretzel bites cool on a wire rack before serving. Enjoy your homemade pretzel bites! I hope this comprehensive guide helps you create the perfect batch. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Gemini’s Answer
Youโ€™ve got a great experiment in mind! Letโ€™s break this down and get you set up for pretzel bite perfection. Here's a streamlined approach to your method and testing: Baking Instructions Preheat oven: Convection setting: 400ยฐF (best for even browning and crispiness). Traditional oven: 425ยฐF (slightly higher temp compensates for lack of air circulation). Baking time: 8โ€“12 minutes. Start checking at 8 minutes. Pretzel bites should be golden brown and puffed. Baking Soda Water Solution Ratio: 4 cups water to 1/4 cup baking soda. This concentration gives the pretzel flavor and helps create a chewy, golden crust. Method: Boiling: Bring the solution to a boil. Boil the dough pieces for 20โ€“30 seconds per batch, flipping halfway. Drain on a wire rack before coating. Coating: Dip the dough pieces in the baking soda solution for about 15โ€“20 seconds, then place them directly on the baking sheet. Washes Egg wash: Use one whole egg, whisked with 1 teaspoon of water for a shiny and slightly firmer crust. (Egg whites alone will give more shine but less flavor; yolks alone will create a deeper color but softer finish.) Melted butter: Brush after baking for a rich, soft finish. Optionally, sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing. Your Experiment: Quadrant Plan Hereโ€™s how to organize the quadrants: Pretreatment Wash Notes Boiled Egg wash Classic shiny pretzel crust. Boiled Butter Rich, soft crust with chew. Coated Egg wash Less chewy but still glossy. Coated Butter Softest, richest option. Steps for Your Test Divide the biscuit dough into even pieces (about 1 inch each). Prepare the baking soda solution. Treat the dough using your boiling and coating methods. Place the treated dough pieces on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Apply your chosen washes to the corresponding groups. Bake on convection at 400ยฐF for 8โ€“12 minutes. Post-Bake Notes Once baked, taste-test the results. The differences in texture, shine, and flavor between the methods should help you decide your favorite! Let me know how the experiment goesโ€”Iโ€™d love to hear about your results!
GhatGPT’s Answer
Answer I'll help you navigate the best method for making biscuit pretzel bites based on the search results. Recommended Baking Method Temperature: 425ยฐF Setting: Traditional oven setting Baking Time: 8-15 minutes (until deep golden brown) Baking Soda Solution The most consistent recommendation is to fully boil the biscuit pieces in a baking soda bath, not just coat them. The recommended ratio is: 4 cups water 1/4 to 1/2 cup baking soda Boiling Process Bring water to a boil Dissolve baking soda completely Boil biscuit pieces for 15-20 seconds Use a slotted spoon to remove pieces Coating Options For the best results, I recommend using an egg wash. Here's why: Egg wash provides a more golden, glossy finish You can use the whole beaten egg Alternatively, you can use melted butter Experimental Approach Your idea of baking four quadrants with different methods is excellent. This will help you determine the best technique. Here's a structured approach: Quadrant Baking Soda Treatment Coating Expected Result 1 Boiled Egg wash Likely best traditional pretzel texture 2 Boiled Melted butter Softer, more buttery finish 3 Coated Egg wash Less authentic pretzel texture 4 Coated Melted butter Least pretzel-like Pro Tips Cut each biscuit into 4-9 pieces Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after coating Serve immediately for best taste and texture
Perplexity’s Answer

I’ll try to link to the full answers here too, as I did keep all 3 conversations going for a bit with different queries.

They looked OK for the most part. I had two cans of pre-made biscuit dough, both were Pillsbury Grands Southern Homestyle. One was Butter Tastin’, one was Buttermilk. Butter Tastin’ was tray 1, Buttermilk was tray 2. I tried all the things. Baked at 425ยฐ for 8 minutes. The boiled ones puffed up a bit, I only let them go for 15 seconds using Alexa as my timer, as I read that boiling too long in the baking soda can give you a metallic taste. The baking soda bath was in warm water… I only left them in for as long as it took me to boil the other ones. I did forget to put salt on until halfway through cooking. I used the coarse salt grinder.

A photo of 64 pretzel bites made form pre-made biscuit dough across two trays (& parchment paper) & a few cooking methods.
Pre-Made Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blobs by AiXeLsyD13

I broke each quadrant down & gave it a letter, & a really short summary…

8 pretzel bites on a plate, labeled A through H.
Absolute ๐Ÿฅจ Shenanigans
  • A | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – Most pretzel-like texture. Needed baked a bit more.
  • B | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Seemed like crunchy biscuits.
  • C | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Tasted burnt-ish.
  • D | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Straight up biscuit.
  • E | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – The outside was very pretzely.
  • F | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Close to a pretzel. -ish.
  • G | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Good… but crunchy. Maybe baked less time?
  • H | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Very biscuit-like.

So, that was a thing. Definitely going boiled, & egg wash next time. May seek out some coarse salt or pretzel salt. I may try it at 400ยฐ on the convection setting for 8 minutes, or a little longer on the regular setting at 425ยฐ. Also, may try cooking on a baking rack & cooling on a cooling rack. I may go got more traditional biscuit dough too, instead of what I had. At the end of the day, these all tasted great dipped in some Herlocher’s. I just wish I had some beer left, but I used my last can of Straub Amber making BBQ pulled pork sandwiches (and rocking out) today. Also, gotta try some with cheese in the middle, right?

Also, I know they’re not perfect yet, but these AI chat bots can REALLY help consolidate / create recipes pulled from so many online sources. It seems like you can search for 5 recipes, & get 7 different cooking times & temperatures at the very least. Then, like my stuff, if there’s no “Jump to Recipe” button, you gotta use Cooked.Wiki, JustTheRecipe.com, or Just The Recipe. As of now, the AI bots are not riddled with advertising and paid ad placement/rankings. They all have their strengths & weaknesses.

Here’s where you hit me up in the comments and/or on social media with your tried-and-true pretzel & pretzel bite methods. I’m not really all that super interested in making dough, so that’s why the canned dough piqued my interest. And, have you used AI prompts for cooking or anything else interesting lately?

James Gunn’s Creature Commandos Playlist

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I’ve been digging Gunn’s painstakingly curated Creature Commandos Spotify Playlist… But, I just noticed he has been deleting as well as adding content since the first episode. I have been maintaining a copy on Amazon Music because we have that, I refuse to pay for Spotify, & I’m not listening to a 2:1 song to commercial ratio.

There’s also something that calls itself Creature Commandos Sountrack Max DC that touts music “from and inspired by” the show. Well, which is from and which inspired by, Warner Bros.?

I did find this Screen Rant article listing all the songs, because… of course.

Are you watching Creature Commandos? You should be. I thought Peacemaker was perfect & it had a banger of a soundtrack too. This one is Gogol Bordello heavy where that had a sleaze metal vibe. I remember seeing Gogol Bordello at least once live. Maybe opening for Flogging Molly?

Also, obviously music was huge for The Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy, but who remembers the Tromeo & Juliet soundtrack? (Someone made a playlist for that, too.)

Thumbnails from various Creature Commandos playlists, and the Spotify & Amazon Music logos.
Creature Commandos Music

Christmas Music?

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So, while I lean into punk & metal on a regular basis, I enjoy a wide variety of Christmas music. A lot of it I can find on Amazon Music (I refuse to pay for Spotify when we have all kinds of other Amazon stuff). Some I can’t. I’ll have to make a YouTube or free crappy free commercial-filled Spotify playlist.

What are some of your favorites? Here are a few of mine.

I also really dig the Bad Religion, Vandals, & Twisted Sister Christmas albums, and so many punk rock comps, and the Willie Nelson & Johnny Cash ones… and the Billy Idol one.

Here are my holiday playlists:

Share your favorites & playlists in the comments!

Also, this rules:

Christmas Playlist Thumbnails from Amazon Music

I used Gemini to help prep Christmas Dinner.

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I like to compare recipes and jot down a timeline for holiday meals. Hopefully you have seen my Thanksgiving recipes/method if that floats your gravy boat. I will be making my Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes (should I call them au gratin?), but mainly just want the cooking times & temps in an outline, & I’ll wing the recipe. I also want to make the classic Campbell’s/French’s green been casserole, but with fresh beans (& maybe added bacon pieces).

If you’re interested, here’s the conversation with our eventual AI overlords:

And, here’s the timeline it helped be create:

Do you also create notes or a timeline? Share it up if you have any tips or tricks on my meal prep, too!


Merry Christmas!

The World Needs Airheads II.

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I have blogged about the song from Airheads before, just wondering about the recording of the Reagan Youth cover song, and never really uncovered much about the specific process or the whole change of lyrics & the arrangement, but I did get some replies from various social media from Paul Cripple, Rich Wilkes, & Sean Yseult. (Rich made a really informative comment on my post here. You should check out all of his work!)

There is, however, an incredible article from The Hard Noise about how the song came to be used in the film, & how the band eventually got paid a bit for it… Which is great to know.

I recently copied an old Reddit post of mine (complete with an egregious typo) to threads, and it took off a bit: https://www.threads.net/@aixelsyd13/post/DDh7SppR64k (When is WordPress going to integrate Threads embedding without me getting a plugin?)

I have asked before, & I'll ask again; How do we get Adam Sandler, Brendan Fraser, & Steve Buscemi to make an Airheads 2 where the plot is they break into Spotify to get paid for streaming when they learn that thanks to Nostalgia, social media, or placement in a TV show or movie, "Degenerated" has become a hit again? Does Sandler still have his Netflix deal? Someone, call Hollywood about this and get it done! The Lone Rangers

After some digging, I have been suggesting the idea since at least 2015.

So, who is with me? Social media seems to be on board if you read my comments/replies. Can we get a petition or something? Or the comments here going? Or a social media campaign? Let’s get Rich Wilkes the resources he needs to do a 2nd script and get it in front of the actors! Nostalgia waves are at an all time high.

Perhaps a stupid blog post can get the ball rolling?