Category Archives: Your Band

Inspiration from Hoke·E·Geez (My new ‘New York Pro’ Strat copy)

Posted on by Standard 16

So, I bought a guitar this past Saturday.  I wasn’t looking for a guitar.  This guitar was looking for me.

Hoke·E·Geez | INDOOR FLEA MARKET · CRAFTS

...and SO MUCH MORE.

Some of my extended family had rented out the lodge at our church camp for the weekend.  My cousin & I were out killing time and exploring while the ladies stayed in for their main objective; scrapbooking.  When in the area with time on my hands, a trip to Hoke·E·Geez is an absolute must.  It’s located right on Route 30 in Bedford PA by the Sheetz.  (Sheetz is a good bright red & yellow landmark, right?)

In what was once (perhaps obviously for people my age and older) an Ames department store, rests the one of the craziest/coolest places I have ever been.  My first trip there was in search of antiques… I collect old Coca~Cola & other glass bottles.  I had no idea what I was in for.  Hoke·E·Geez is full of …Everything. 

Stuffed Squirrel on display (& for sale!) at Hoke·E·Geez (Bedford, PA)

"Help! I'm not dead! Some redneck just stapled my nuts to this driftwood!"

It’s got crafts, antiques (from old pop bottles to the machines), furniture, a weird leather biker-jacket section, a hardware section like someone emptied a Harbor Freight in 1978 and dumped it there, of records, new stuff made to look old (think the store in Cracker Barrel), toys, tools, books, records, a section chock full of cassette tapes (mostly hair metal), musical instruments of all varieties, a stuffed squirrel that my cousin photographed with his phone, nunchucks, swords, toilets, knives, flooring, gun parts, cabinetry, pistol crossbows, stuff you’d see in a thrift store or at a garage sale, a Weinermobile pedal car, … and other scattered oddities/treasures.

Yeah, I said musical instruments.  Of course, I flock nearly immediately to the old guitars.  Hoke-E-Geez also serves as an aged acoustic graveyard.  They have several dried out yet beautiful acoustics ravaged by time & strings that pull the neck past the point of no return. They would be great as decorations, or for this…

Guiar Fail | Acoustic Guitar Recycling

Guiar Fail | Acoustic Guitar Recycling

There I Fixed It | First Smash, Then Season

There I Fixed It | First Smash, Then Season

In fact, if I ever find one for the right price, it might make a cool antique bottle shelf… with some glass shelves & a light or 2.

Back to the story at hand though…  There we are strolling through the wonderland that is Hoke·E·Geez, like a bee doing its “tell the others where the honey is” dance. We were exclaiming “Woah!”, “Look at that!”, or “What is that?” with each erratic hop to the next section.

Toy Accordion (or Button Box?)

I can already play "Iron Man" and "Happy Birthday" (very poorly).

The first beauty I spied was this toy accordion for $12 and change.  It seems ridiculous and awesome.  Maybe I’ve seen The Bloody Seamen one too many times lately.  Looking online, it seems to be a fair price… and not difficult to master. I’m not sure of the name brand.  I have no idea if it’s a Hohner, Schylling, Barcelona, First Act, or something else.  I have found a bunch online that look similar.  This doesn’t match the colors of any others exactly, and of course it has no brand/name/logo in it.  Also, it appears that I have been shorted a book.  Also, is this really an accordion, or is it just a button box?  What’s the difference?  Are the butterfly-like designs up top too girly?

The next thing of interest that I saw was this beautiful New York Pro Strat knockoff…

New York Pro - Natural Finish Strat Copy
“Psst… you, yeah you… buy me. Yeah. I know I’m not a goofy guitar, but you need me. Look at my woodgrain. It’s not fancy or elegant, it’s just ‘there’. Buy me. I probably have really crappy electronics and hardware. Buy me. I bet no one has ever heard of ‘New York Pro’ or knows where we’re made. Buy me!
New York Pro - Strat Copy

New York Pro - Strat Copy

Well, the photo to the left is the photo that I sent to my wife along with the price, asking (only half kidding) if I should buy it.  There was some other black no-name Strat copy behind it.  The body on that black POS wasn’t nearly as solid, hefty,  or well-cut.

My cousin pointed it out I believe, & remarked on the natural finish.  I was stuck drooling over the $95 price tag since the neck was straight, there were no cracks, and it was nice solid body.  This was about the time we got into a conversation with a local cat who was into weird guitars and punk rock… and actually in a punk rock band up that way.  I can’t remember the name of the band.  I need to pop stuff like that into my phone.  The guy stopped & asked if I really had an accordion in the box marked “Accordion”.  I showed it to him & he’s the one that remarked that it was a button box & not an accordion.  After talking forever about weird guitars, rocking out, and goofy venues… we moved on.  He mentioned that there were other guitars “over there” pointing to a little music store-like area within the hallowed walls of Hoke·E·Geez.

This is where we happened upon some beast, made by a local cat that goes by Merle Kegg or Merle R. Kegg.  One of his custom-built axes had the letters “M R K” on the headstock.  The first one I spotted was a doubleneck… one 6 string guitar & one mandolin neck.  Yeah.  You read that right.

Merle R. Kegg - Guitar/Mandolin Doubleneck

Merle R. Kegg - Guitar/Mandolin Doubleneck

I apologize for the horrible quality cell phone photos, but I’m sure you get the point.  I find it an odd placement for the pickups… but then again some people like that neck pickup sound.  I generally stick as close to the bridge as possible.  The custom cases are pretty cool.  Then I came upon this one…

Merle R. Kegg - White Guitar

Merle R. Kegg - White Guitar

It caught my eye, and I believe the price was only $64 or $65… but I didn’t even take it out of the case once I got a closer look.  If there was a Regretsy-like site for homemade guitars, this may top them all.  I mean, I love the shape… and I respect the intent and the labor that went into this beast, but… wow.  The placement of the bridge directly up the neck’s ass is crazy.  The pickguard looks like flooring or wall tile.  I’m hoping this cat is Amish or 97 years old or has 7 fingers total or something.  I hate to be so harsh, but when I think a guitar is ugly, we have a problem on our hands.  There was no attempt to smooth out the edges or anything… the paint is applied like it’s the side of an outdoor shed… not a guitar.  Wow.  I’d like to see more of his work, maybe these were the odd ones out.  If you know anything more about his work, please post in the comments!  There were some other cool guitars (not made by Merle), ukuleles, mandolins & other stuff in that section.

I still hadn’t received a reply from the wife.  I got the accordion, my cousin picked up a few things, and off we went.

When we got back to camp, I asked my wife if she had seen the text with the photo.  She hadn’t.  She checked it out & liked it.  She asked that if I got it I could place it on the stand in the living room instead of my Batman Logo guitar.  She liked the wood (which I have since come to learn is mahogany).  We talked it over and she suggested that I go get it.  I told her it would need new guts, but she was still behind the idea.  After lunch, my cousin went to a nearby farm to hunt coyotes, and I went back to Hoke·E·Geez to hunt that guitar.

I came back with my prize:

New York Pro - Stratocaster Copy

New York Pro - Stratocaster Copy

I also managed to stop by the Bedford Banjo Shop.  It was small but very cool and reasonably priced in there.  They had banjos, guitars, ukuleles, mandolins, & more.  They were also very friendly and quite busy.  I tried to stop by another store nearby, but they were closed as it was after 2:00pm.

I have plans for this guitar… GFS Lil Killer rail pickups, some wooden knobs, a leopard-print pickguard, black hardware (& bridge & tuners), and I guess a leopard-print strap.  As soon as I put away some money, I hope to get all this stuff & have it all set up nice & pretty.  My go-to guitar guy has been Aaron at Lawrence Music lately.  He helped set up the Batman Logo guitar… and dropped in my Seymour Duncans.

Oh what I'm gonna do to this guitar...

Oh what I'm gonna do to this guitar...

You didn’t think I’d leave it alone did you?  It needs something in order to fit in with my other guitars.

I’m still at a loss with any concrete information about the New York Pro brand.  I’m not sure if it’s pumped out of a Chinese factory that puts many different brands on the same guitars?  They do have an odd cut in the top of the headstock that seems to be on every NY Pro guitar I’ve seen online.  I’ve seen them as kit guitars, for $99, for $149.99 and for $279.95.  Maybe they’re made by Galaxy Guitars and the same as their Starfire line?  It looks like they might call it the “Galaxy New York Pro Star Gazer”.  They may be distributed by Lou Capece.  I may have to write to them for more information.

If you have any comments/stories about Hoke·E·Geez, any information about the accordion/button box, any info on that other guitar store in Bedford, any information about the New York Pro brand, or any comments/suggestions about my plans for the guitar… I’d love to hear ’em!  Please share in the comments below!

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☘·☠·⚔·✪ Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, The Bloody Seamen, Ernie and the Berts – Tue. Jun. 5th @ Altar Bar! ☘·☠·⚔·✪

Posted on by Standard 14

That’s right, Ernie and the Berts are opening for Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, & The Bloody Seamen on June 5th at the Altar Bar!

Hello faithful readers.  I’d like to sell mad tickets for this.  The Real McKenzies are right up my alley, these Goddamn Gallows cats look to be our kind of insane, & the Bloody Seamen remind of us our new bff‘s The Botched for some reason.

This is my personal plea to all of you to come out to this show & show us (Ernie and the Berts – the band, and the people) your support.  We’re selling the tickets for $12 a pop in advance, and we hope to sell out quick… so get a hold of me, or get a hold of Erin at ernie@ernieandtheberts.com to score your tix.

I know it’s a Tuesday, and I know it’s not a $5 bar show… but shows like this really help us get our music/name/faces out there.  Don’t you want more people to be aware of the nearly-controlled chaos that is Ernie and the Berts?

Drusky is getting warm to us, and it seems like the Altar Bar digs us… so we’d like to play more shows there more often.  The best way to do that is for us to convince your collective ass to come out to the shows, support national touring acts, local venues & entertainment companies, and local music…. and most of all to have a good time!

I mean, we like to be extra goofy, you never know what Ernie’s up to next.  The Seamen are just ridiculous and you have to see them live to believe it.  Look at the Gallow’s dudes photo & tell me they don’t like to party.  I hear that the Real McKenzies don’t wear anything under their kilts.  You have something going on a Tuesday night that can compare to that awesomeness?

Yeah, you have to get up for work the next day.  So do I.  So do most of the guys in the local bands.  You can deal with it.  Drink an extra coffee in the morning and man (or woman) up.

So, how many tickets do you want?

The Real McKenzies

The Real McKenzies

The Goddamn Gallows

The Goddamn Gallows

The Bloody Seamen

The Bloody Seamen

Ernie and the Berts

Ernie and the Berts

Here are all the details so far, I hope to make a flyer as soon as possible…

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

http://twitter.com/#!/AltarBar/status/172831020033388544

Here’s a taste of what you might get…

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Valley of Steel | Out Today: Fist Fight in the Parking Lot – Self-Titled

Posted on by Standard 4

Checkout this review of my new favorite badass album from Fist Fight in the Parking Lot:

Valley of Steel | Out Today: Fist Fight in the Parking Lot – Self-Titled

Fist Fight in the Parking Lot

Fist Fight in the Parking Lot

Eric’s got a cool blog, a good ear, a great site, and a cool name.  Why wouldn’t we value his opinions?  Read that, then buy the disc.  Buy a download & a CD like me.  Buy a copy for a friend.

I’ve been listening today & I really dig it.  It’s very Sabbath & Sword-like to my ears… it’s got metal, rock, groove, and a great feel.  My head couldn’t decide whether to bob or bang.

Also, they’re all just really cool people.  Congratulations to them for crafting such a great disc, & to everyone who helped them get it together & push it out there.

This is the kind of band I’m glad to have represent Pittsburgh, unlike some others I won’t mention.  They’re getting mad press lately.  Are they the saviors of the Pittsburgh Rock scene?  Listen to the album & you decide.

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172680959097978881

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172536291135717377

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172391377802502145

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/171994774574874624

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172344295695712256

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The Clarks; “Producing ire” or “to admire”?

Posted on by Standard 33

Nothing can polarize a random group of yinzers like discussing the Clarks.  A lot of people love them, a lot of people hate them.  There’s probably even more people that could really care less about the whole issue.  The reason I’m blogging about this is, well, it blew up when I mentioned my distaste for them on Facebook.  Everybody & their mother (literally in my case) has an opinion about the Clarks:

That Clarks commercial makes my butthole pucker...

That Clarks commercial makes my butthole pucker...

English: Gary Busey in Almaty, Kazakhstan in O...

"Wahooooo!"

Have you seen the Clarks’ Toyota commercial, or any of the Gary Busey Kia commercials?  Gary Busey is bat-shit-nuts, and I’d rather buy an inferior car endorsed by him.  OK, I’d really rather buy neither… but the Gary Busey commercials don’t make me want to change the channel, and they don’t make my butthole pucker.

I present to you some video evidence for your review:

Then, I posted a status linking to the first status, asking for help building my list.  It turned into chaos.  Don’t believe Joel below.  He’s a bit mischievous.  Tiffany certainly seems adamant about her love for the Clarks.

Help make a list...

Help make a list...

So, what’s the big deal?  Personally, I find their songs trite, corny, tonally bland, and their vocalist quite annoying.  My general line is that his vocals are the aural equivalent to taking a cheese-grater to my eardrum.  When I hear them on the radio I involuntarily sigh or roll my eyes.  Yet, I know some of their songs because (thanks to local radio) I have heard them ad nauseam.

The Clarks (album)

There's a penny on the floor from our last album sale residuals...

I understand that music preferences are an opinion, and that others are entitled to theirs.  I’m just stating mine.  There’s no need to get your panties in a bunch just because I don’t like the Clarks and you do.  I’ll try hard not to consider you hopelessly tonally-challenged if you happen to like the Clarks.

I get a feeling that a lot of people like the Clarks simply because they’re from the area and mention Fayette County in their songs.  Yinzers seem to like them because they’re on the radio, or because they’ve been in a bar when they played.  They appear to appeal to the lowest common denominator,  I don’t know how many people like the Clarks because they actually like the Clarks’ music.  When I ask someone why they like the Clarks, I get answers like “I saw them at so & so’s bar” or “They’re from here” or something about allegiance to IUP.  It’s never “I really like [name of song here]” or “I really like their song writing/guitar playing/etc.”. Again, this is my opinion.

Also my opinion…  This car has more musical ability than the Clarks:

It’s been told to me repeatedly that people in bands around Pittsburgh simply don’t like the Clarks out of jealousy of their success.  I don’t believe I’m jealous of the Clarks for myself, but I guess I am a hater on certain levels.  I hate that they’re representative of Pittsburgh music.  I hate that people with no grasp of the local music scene ask me if I know/like them when they find out I’m in a band.  I hate that so many other bands around here that deserve wider recognition go unnoticed and go without radio play.  At the same time, a lot of musicians that I know just don’t like the Clarks because they write & perform bad songs.  This undoubtedly fuels the ire.  Perhaps it’s “bandwagon” to hate on the Clarks?  Maybe it’s the “cool” thing to do?  Maybe we’re all just not tone deaf.

A box grater with multiple grating surfaces.

Scott Blasey

So, please, I’d like a discussion on the comments below, not on the Facebook post about this blog.  You can comment using your name/e-mail address/url, your Facebook login, your Twitter login, or your WordPress login.

If you like the Clarks, please tell me why.  If you don’t like the Clarks, please tell me why.  If you don’t care about the Clarks, you can let us know that too.  Let’s not resort to name-calling or devaluing anyone’s opinions.  We’re (mostly) all adults here.

Perhaps I’ll make another blog post soon trying to make a list of Pittsburgh local bands that deserve more attention & a wider audience.

Again…

  • If you like the Clarks, please tell me why.
  • If you don’t like the Clarks, please tell me why.
  • If you don’t care about the Clarks, you can let us know that too.
  • Let’s not resort to name-calling or devaluing anyone’s opinions.
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Feb. 4th. 2012 – Come to this show! (Check out video of all the bands here…)

Posted on by Standard Reply

One week from tonight, this is where you need to be!

Ernie and the Berts's avatarErnie and the Berts

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

View original post 11 more words

The Actual Best Rock Guitar-Dominated Intros of All Time According to the Ultimate Authority, Me.

Posted on by Standard 13

Well, I said I was gonna do it.  I eventually got around to it.  Here it is.  I guess I should call this something other than “The Actual Best Rock Guitar-Dominated Intros of All Time (Not Chosen by Idiots)”.  But as a mediocre semi-professional guitarist, I am an authority.  Right?

  1. “Master of Puppets” – Metallica ==::: This riff slaps you in the head.  Thunk!  That’s what it does.  To your head.  Maybe it’s not as shrill as “Seek and Destroy” or as renowned as “Enter Sandman”, but it’s a hell of a way to bring you into a song.  There’s no easing, no build-up, just smack smack smack/blazing riffs and screaming about how drugs are bad!
  2. Velvet Revolver - Slash

    Slash

    “Welcome to the Jungle” – Guns N’ Roses ==::: This one owes as much to the delay effect as the riff, but wow it rocks.  It opens up one of my favorite albums.  I had to include it.

  3. “Sweet Child O’ Mine” – Guns N’ Roses ==:::  Legend goes that Slash hated this warm-up riff, and that he thought it sounded like circus music.  It’s a good thing Slash had Axl & the rest of Guns N’ Roses to keep this on around.  Who doesn’t love this playful riff?
  4. “Paranoid” – Black Sabbath ==:::  I play this riff 9 out of 10 times when I pick up a guitar.  Why not?  It’s fun.  Iommi is a genius.  It’s been covered by Megadeth, The Dickies, Avenged Sevenfold, Type O Negative, Green Day, Metallica, and bar bands everywhere.
  5. Toni Iommi playing a true left-handed guitar (...

    Tony Iommi

    “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” – Black Sabbath ==:::  I always feel like this one is underrated.  Everyone talks about “Iron Man” and “Black Sabbath”, but this is a damn cool riff.  Recognize.  (“Supernaut”, another of my favorites, could go here too…)

  6. “Sunshine of Your Love” – Cream ==:::  It sounds like Clapton is playing an army of guitars here.  I believe Jack Bruce came up wit the riff, inspired by Hendrix.  It’s an incredibly powerful riff.  (Even if you change it like Living Colour did.) It’s iconic.  It’s rock.  It’s blues.  It’s heavy.  It grabs you.
  7. “Rock You Like a Hurricane” – Scorpions ==:::  Here they are.  Everyone my age remembers this riff.  I was never a huge fan, I think I have a greatest hit’s CD, but this riff is still classic.
  8. Stephen Egerton

    Stephen Egerton

    “Long Distance” – All ==:::  It’s my list.  I’ll include killer punk bands if I want.  If you don’t know this riff, you should.  In fact, a bunch of All riffs could go here.  Stephen Egerton has a sound where you know it’s him when he’s on guitar.  He’s got a totally underrated incredible guitar voice.

  9. “Crazy Train” – Ozzy Osbourne  ==:::  It’s in that commercial.  It’s been played by marching bands.  It’s been covered by Pat Boone.  It’s in our collective consciousness.  Randy Rhoads was a madman, and this is an incredible riff.
  10. “London Dungeon” – Misfits  ==::: This is a great gloomy riff, and one of the few things the Misfits churned out that wasn’t a power chord.  I like the recording from the ill-fated 12 Hits From Hell album that never was.  It’s got Bobby & Doyle on guitar, & producer Robbie Alter on guitar overdubs… I dunno who came up with the riff.  It could have even been Glenn or Jerry.

I’m sure if I were to make a list tomorrow, it may contain different songs.  What did I miss?  Give a link to the YouTube video in the comments below.

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Check out this cool write-up about Ernie and the Berts from Valley of Steel!

Posted on by Standard 2

Check out this cool write-up about Ernie and the Berts from Valley of Steel!

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valleyofsteel's avatarValley of Steel

Okay, after spending yesterday talking about shows that I will never get a chance to see, it’s time for some updates for the local (Pittsburgh) area. If you live somewhere else, NOW YOU CAN SEE HOW IT FEELS!!, but also, hopefully you’ll learn about a couple bands that might tickle your fancy.

 

First of all, next Saturday (4 February 2012), “sleazy muppet rock” band Ernie and the Berts will be making their first live appearance of 2012 at Altar Bar in Pittsburgh’s Strip District area, as one of the opening acts for Greek-American Punks Barb Wire Dolls.

View original post 217 more words

Bands I find annoying.

Posted on by Standard 13

It’s OK if you like these bands.  I just don’t.  I’m not going to offer any explanation.  I’m not saying that they’re not immensely talented or incredibly rich or famous.  With some of these bands, I’m no doubt in the minority.  Some of them are punching bags for haters everywhere.  I’m sure I like some bands that others may find absolutely terrible.  It’s fine if you’re a fan of the bands listed below.  I’m just not.  These are my opinions.

  • The Clarks
  • Nickelback
  • U2
  • Godsmack
  • Disturbed
  • Coldplay
  • Rusted Root
  • Phish
  • The Dave Matthews Band
  • Rascal Flatts
  • Jimmy Buffett
U2, Kalvøya-festivalen (Isle of Calf Festival)...

Bono

I’m sure I’m missing some.  I’m sure I’ve angered some people.  I just had to get it out there.  What bands do you find annoying?  What songs make you cringe every time you hear a single note?

✌

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A double number two! | Ernie and the Berts

Posted on by Standard 2

So, we got 2nd place & Ernie won a special award: A double number two! | Ernie and the Berts.

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