Tag Archives: 💩

Update | Maze Marauder Mitigated

Posted on by Standard 1

So, a while back… did you read about the weasel who grabbed a bunch of mazes online and put them into a self-published print-on-demand book to be sold all over the damn internet?

I guess I never did update, lots of the listings are down or read as “Temporarily Unavailable.” I would like them to read as “⚠ 404 Page Not Found.“

I did get two short emails from the offender. Thank you to Jakob Mewes for reaching out! I never did hear back from Jakob after reaching out for further details. Did you Google AiXeLsyD and/or Gasoline Dion and find me here? I’d love to know!

I did get two emails from Mr. Heppke.

From: Kurt Heppke <mail@kurtheppke.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 30, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Subject: Re: Unauthorized Use of My Artwork in Your Book – DMCA & Cease-and-Desist
To: Eric Carroll <red@acted.yo>


Dear Mr. Carrol,

I'm sorry for using your trademarked images and I really want to apologize for that. I took the images from Pinterest and did not check the license. I made a mistake. 
I have requested today that the book be stopped selling immediately and will send you confirmation as soon as I have it.
I hereby give you written confirmation that I will no longer use your work.
I also confirm the immediate cessation of any further use or reproduction of your work in any form.

I am truly sorry for the trouble I have caused you.

I would like to make one more point about your WordPress post " Stolen Mazes! (Someone took my art.)". It gives the impression that I have flooded half the world with my books. No. I've sold the book 8 times in the last 3 years. So I think the damage is limited.
That's not an excuse! 

Anyway, thank you for your patience and kindness and I will definitely change my behavior when it comes to checking licenses.

Best regards

Kurt Heppke

---
Kurt Heppke
Tel: +## ### ########
Mail: mail@kurtheppke.com
Homepage: www.kurtheppke.com

And, then this, referencing the photo below:

From: Kurt Heppke <mail@kurtheppke.com>
Date: Tue, Jul 1, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Subject: Re: Unauthorized Use of My Artwork in Your Book – DMCA & Cease-and-Desist
To: Eric Carroll <red@cted.yo>


Dear Mr. Carroll,



I have withdrawn my book "Labyrinthe" from sale and would like to inform you of this, as promised:

Labyrinthe
Leichte Schwere und ganz ganz Schwere

ISBN-13: 9783756233120
Verlag: Books on Demand
Erscheinungsdatum: 30.06.2022




the German sentence:

"Wir haben Ihr Buch wunschgemäss für Bestellungen aus dem Buchhandel gesperrt. Auch die Listung für den internationalen Vertrieb und der E-Book-Vertrieb wurden damit automatisch ausgesetzt."

means:

"We have blocked your book from bookstore orders as requested. The listing for international distribution and e-book distribution have also been automatically suspended."


I would like to apologize once again and thank you for your patience and kindness.

Best regards

---
Kurt Heppke
Tel: +## ### ########
Mail: mail@kurtheppke.com
Homepage: www.kurtheppke.com

And this was in there:

the German sentence: "Wir haben Ihr Buch wunschgemäss für Bestellungen aus dem Buchhandel gesperrt. Auch die Listung für den internationalen Vertrieb und der E-Book-Vertrieb wurden damit automatisch ausgesetzt." means: "We have blocked your book from bookstore orders as requested. The listing for international distribution and e-book distribution have also been automatically suspended."

✍️

I did not reply, as I am still salty about it. A little theft is still theft. I know Joe Wos sent something over to the effect of a Cease & Desist or DMCA, and Brian Hilbert commented on my last post. I never did get a comment from Sean C. Jackson. Not sure how many other maze artists were robbed. I never did track any others down.

Please, don’t steal others’ art & sell it. I have a lot here for free, like the ones that showed up in this book of plundered pathways.

<shameless plug> You can support your favorite punk rock letter-writing goofball maze artist by buying a copy of So I Finally Made a Maze Book or You Can See Yourself Out, or getting some cool swag from my TeePublic or RedBubble stores. </shameless plug> 

I did just upload some Halloween mazes, and TeePublic is having a sale. You can always get my books & merch up top. I sell tens of copies worldwide myself, I don’t need any help from art thieves.

I’m sadly still morbidly curious to get my hands on a copy of this outrage. Share your stories of art theft in the comments, or comment here if your stuff was also uncredited in this book!

Stolen Mazes! (Someone took my art.) 🤬

Posted on by Standard 7

So, I recently got an interesting message via my contact form:

Hello, I bought a book in germany and in that book a "Kurt Heppke" from "Norderstedt : Books on Demand" is using your artwork. Did you ever give permission to that? I can send you more information if needed. Greetings from Germany, Hamburg

I did write back, but have yet to receive a reply. I would like to thank you Jakob, for reaching out! Not sure how you found me, but then again maybe I am sure as the one stolen maze is kind of highly specific in subject matter, but we’ll get to that.

I did do some light Googling though, like a modern-day super lazy Sherlock Holmes (or at least Dick Tracy). The ever-so-helpful auto AI summary was actually kind of enlightening…

An AI summary via Google about some weenis that stole a bunch of mazes to create print-on-demand books.

Yeah. That one past stuck out.

“He finds inspiration for his books by browsing graphic portals and libraries.”

I take that to mean “Bruh finds shit on Pinterest or Google image search and steals it to put into his books.”

Cover of Labyrinthe: Leichte Schwere und ganz ganz Schwere by Kurt Heppke, stealer of images.

I did find a book creatively titled Labyrinthe: Leichte Schwere und ganz ganz Schwere, which according to Google Translate says Labyrinths: Light, heavy, and very, very heavy. It luckily had a link that looked like a preview link, and I was able to see inside part of the book.

Mr. Heppke has a website, and apparently several books. I know that print-on-demand can be looked down upon by “real” publishers, and these are considered “low content” books, but theft is theft.

I have been drawing mazes since I was a kid, maybe 4th grade or so? I have put a bunch up on the internet (especially at this blog among other older sites) for free over the years. I don’t need this dude or anybody stealing my stuff, taking credit for it, or making money off of it. Oh yeah, taking credit? Dude has stones. That sure looks like a © 2022 to me by his name in a book full of mazes that he didn’t draw.

Two of my mazes appear to have been pilfered:

Bruh took a bunch of mazes, but these are mine,

The original posts can be found here:

Help AiXeLsyD get to the AmericanMusic Café!
✍ Today’s Maze ✍

I know I have pinned them in the past, so they may be floating around there too. There are probably about 100 people on the planet who have heard, saw, heard about, or remember my old punk band, AiXeLsyD. Why take that maze? Our logo is right there beside a terrible drawing of my 1986 Buick SkyHawk. Weird. Also, it name drops Sheetz & Wendy’s as places to not stop (as well as a nudie bar). They may have a harder copyright infringement case than me? 🤣 I’m sure the maze is much older than 2012. The quality of the scan & the coloring is BAD.

The AiXeL-Mobile (1986 Buick SkyHawk)

I have thought about collecting all my old stuff for a book… but the thought of checking to see if they’re passable & providing solutions is overwhelming, and now that I put out You Can See Yourself Out, I feel like I have a level of quality that I need to maintain. Drawing the mazes & posting them has always kind of been a creative outlet & stress relief for me. I think I’d need to re-scan the pile of stuff that I have, and the stuff that I just posted to social media with phone pictures if I were to do it right… and include solitions.

I’m not doing art to get rich, or even make a living… but if I can fund keeping this blog AiXeLsyD13.com, and buy some art supplies, that would be awesome. I have made tens of dollars off of my books and merch. That’s not a complaint by any means, but some dude across the globe shouldn’t be making money off of my art. (As an aside, check this shit out! Art theft is rampant, and following @kilkennycat_art on Threads has opened my eyes to it.)

Which brings me to the other mazes here. I’m sure just by looking at the style, there’s a few mazes by renowned cartoonist, maze artist, & educational television host Joe Wos. I think there’s at least one by Sean C. Jackson. The cover appears to be by Brian Hilbert (Check out his Pittsburgh maze!).

Maze artists: Is your maze art here?

An index of stolen mazes assembled & being sold by Kurt Heppke.

I have tried to lift up other maze artists here. It’s a weird little niche. We gotta look out for each other, in my opinion. I did post about this issue on r/mazes, too.

I’m unsure of my next step. Is reaching out directly to Norderstedt Books on Demand and/or Kurt Heppke directly via email with some sort of cease and desist the way to go? Is that at all official? Is Google Translate even gonna get it right?

I don’t have any written verbiage here about my mazes being copyrighted, but I do have dated posts, and I think copyright is implied with any created works… no? I have no idea how any of it works really within the US, let alone internationally & specifically in Germany.

It also looks like this damn thing is available on more than a few sites:

…and so many more.

At any rate, I implore you to by mazes (or any art) from the artist through their official channels… or enjoy the many free mazes that are put out there by all of us.

So, Cease-and-Desist email or letter? DMCA Takedown? Both? Lawyer up? I’m assuming there is not much to financially recover with print-on-demand sales. I just don’t want anyone making money off of my art other than myself.

<shameless plug> Speaking of that, you can support your favorite punk rock letter-writing goofball maze artist by buying a copy of So I Finally Made a Maze Book or You Can See Yourself Out, or getting some cool swag from my TeePublic or RedBubble stores. </shameless plug> If you’re not inclined to make a purchase, that’s cool too. Maybe share the links, or just enjoy all the free mazes here, & check out all the other maze artists?

I look forward to your thoughts & advice in the comments!

So, I Finally Made a Maze Book!

Posted on by Standard 3

I had some time recently, and I wanted to see what the process was to publish a print-on-demand book from Amazon. I grabbed a bunch of my smaller easy mazes with no discernable theme that I had previously posted here & on Instagram, and assembled them into a book. All of them were scanned in & maybe fixed a bit with paint.NET, and I put the pages of the book together with OpenOffice, so my only cost came down to the pens & paper. (Not sure how to quantify time & sanity.)

At any rate, I present to you – So I Finally Made a Maze Book: Easy Mazes by AiXeLsyD13

The cover for "So I Finally Made a Maze Book: Easy Mazes by AiXeLsyD13." It's white text in a blue rectangle, with 4 mazes underneath. The mazes should be relatively easy, & have been colored. Clockwise from the top left they are a taco, a gnome, a snowman, & a banana.
Yup, I finally did it. After drawing mazes for decades.

It was very simple to publish with Amazon. This gave me the confidence to put together another book, perhaps with a bit more coherence, and definitely with a much better cover. I have already started drawing new mazes in a neat little box template so they’re a bit more consistent. What’s a good number? 30? 50?

Also, I need to get all of these older mazes scanned & into a book too. I have some pages that are bigger than my scanner bed though. Perhaps a trip to FedEx Office or Staples is in order.

I just kind of set the price arbitrarily to make a little bit off of publishing. I’m not looking to get rich, but it would be nice to finally make income of off artistic output after decades of ostensibly doodling. (I won’t delve into my musical endeavors which are break even at best but probably a negative sum game. 🤣)

Luckily the creative outlet for me is just that, an outlet. I think we all need to express ourselves artistically or through sports, gardening, or other hobbies.

It also suggested I make a Kindle version, so I did that too. I am not sure if the concept will work there. Can you draw on a Kindle screen with a stylus or your finger? Can you print from a Kindle? I must confess I don’t have one. I am still a fan of books in the traditional form.

If you have ever enjoyed my mazes, or have been one of the awesome people that has completed them and sent in the solution – I humbly ask you (if you’re so inclined) to purchase a paperback for around $6 or a Kindle book for around $3 and let me know what you think. Should I do more? Did you enjoy it? Is the quality any good?

Really, I ask you to try even if you have never solved one of my mazes. Now is a good time to start!

It might make a good gift for kids or adults. It’s a nice way to pass some time or zone out.

If you do buy, can you leave an honest rating/review? I feel like that goes a long way with Amazon.

If you can’t buy or are really not interested, that’s OK too! I would ask you to maybe share the link around.

My thoughts on the next one are that I probably need a table of contents, to maybe title the mazes, and… should I include the solutions in the back? That’s one of my issues. I like to draw the mazes, but don’t really solve them. I may need to reach out for help on that part & pay someone to complete them so I can include the solutions (and make sure they’re solvable).

I probably need help with a title, too.

Thanks for reading, tanks for considering, and please share this link on every social media platform known to humankind: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH2FMH7W

Legoland New York Shenanigans – Go there!

Posted on by Standard Reply

🗽 Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty. Her tablet should say "Of course you're tired, after this amusement park you'll be Poor."
Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty.

This year, we let the kids pick the vacations. Luckily a new job afforded me more time, and we took a year off from being camp counselors/directors. I had offered the beach. I hate the beach, but we have never gone as a family. They brainstormed & settled on Legoland in New York, a trip to visit good friends that live in NJ who took us to New York City, and an upcoming trip to Washington DC.

My wife did the booking/research and set us up for 3 nights in the hotel and 2 days in the park. We both looked at two Facebook groups prior to going to help glean some knowledge:

Somehow, I was dirty banned from the first group with no warning or explanation. 😂 The second group is totally cool. I would suggest joining both. The only thing I can think that got me banned was the toilet thing (keep reading), or that I said to take cash even though they all said not to. (More on that in a bit too.)

I’ll put a list of my tips at the end.

Full disclosure: I like LEGO as much as if not more than the kids. We all do. Even my wife has gotten into building some really cool sets.

Family photo at the front sign to LEGOLAND New York.
The photo packaghe was worth it.
LEGOLAND refrigerator magnet made of... LEGO bricks.
My magnet may get glued together…

The hotel was super cool. We stayed in a Kingdom themed room. It had a separate nook with bunk bends and a TV for the kids, and a King-sized bed & TV for the adults. It came with a bin full of mostly Duplo & some LEGO to play with. It also had a treasure-hunt the first day to get (3) LEGO poly bag sets. We got them the 2nd night too, but not the 3rd. 🤷

LEGO frog atop a vast vault.
This guy guards the treasure.
kids playing Dick Tracy to get the lock combo code.
Found it!

I think we watched ALL of the LEGO movies in the room. That was neat.

The lobby has a giant castle that looks like LEGO, a treasure-trove of Duplo & Lego blocks, a climbing wall that isn’t a climbing wall, an area with large LEGO bricks made out of some material that feels like Crocs. There are so many photo opportunities throughout the hotel and park, it’s crazy.

I am here to storm LEGO castle!
I want one in the back yard.
Do you like my hat? It is the bastard child of a science experiment gone wrong. I left some LEGO and a pair of Crocs in that machine from The Fly, and welll... Jeff Goldblum is always pressing buttons.
Where can I buy these Croc-LEGO hybrids?
This is ¾ of us sitting on the wall that you're not supposed to climb on.
“We’re loners Dottie, rebels!”

Yeah. 4,672 kids climbed on this wall. Employees would all politely tell them to get off, and the parent / grandparent / aunt / uncle /random stranger would undoubtedly always exclaim “But, it looks like a climbing wall!” There is a sign to the left that says not to climb… but really, it LOOKS like a climbing wall. I suggest the shore it up so it’s safe to climb, or put stuff on the shelves so they don’t look like seats. Or maybe get a bigger more centralized “No Climbing” sign.

The restaurants in the park & at the hotel were interesting. They were crazy expensive, which we had gleaned from the groups, and kind of just expected anyway. The food was eh. I did not like their “fry sauce” on the burger. Breakfast was free with the stay and was a nice tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, French toast sticks, sausage, tator tots or home fries, fresh fruit, and the option of coffee, juice, milk, or water to drink. Pop or iced tea was an up charge.

RIDE THE DRAGON! 🐉🤘
🐉

The rides and attractions are definitely geared to pre-teen kids, but were fun for the whole family. The Dragon was my son’s first roller coaster ride. The indoor rides were fun, and of course they drop you in the gift shops. We kept telling my son that the same stuff would be in the big store. We were wrong. Some stuff was different. No build a minifigure in the big store.

We did not do the water park… It’s convoluted as you have to reserve time in 20 minute increments and it seems like a wild pain in the keister. We thought about doing the pool at the hotel after the park, but we decided to chill the first day and it was raining the second day. The pirate themed rides were perfect for us.

I almost bought the park-exclusive Legoland New York set, and would have for $75, but I didn’t feel like it was worth the $100 asking price. Maybe next time? We did get the photo package for one day, and they kids’ LEGOLAND drivers license photos. I did buy two little New York City themed sets.

OH NO!

The thing that made me laugh the most was our toilet project.

My son was having fun playing with the blocks and all the other kids in the hotel lobby. He became somewhat of a warmonger or arms dealer. Kids were coming up to him like he was Peter Dinklage in that Thor Movie where he forged Stormbreaker, or Tony Stark supplying all sides with arms. He was making Duplo and LEGO swords, guns, and who knows what else for any kid that would ask. He was having an absolute blast. I built Godzilla and a city to smash to pass some time. I also built a Duplo rubber duck and we attached to it a Ninjago figure’s head.

Then my daughter and I got silly. She built a pile of poop out of brown LEGO bricks. I told her to get me a bunch of white Duplo blocks, and made a toilet. At first, we just sat her stuffed LEGO guy in a chicken costume minifig on it. Then, we put it on the tray beside a salad that a LEGO waitress minifig sculpture was carrying. It was hilarious to see kids & adults discover it.

Sophisticated art. Finely schooled LEGO and Duplo artists add to an existing art installation, to make several high-brown political and societal statements. OR A Duplo toilet featuring a LEGO poop put on a serving tray next to a salad on a minifigure LEGO sculpture.
I’m easily amused. I don’t know what her deal is.

All-in-all, we had a great time. I think you will too if you’re into LEGO and your kids are the right age. Check out the last of my pics if you didn’t already see them on Instagram, or skip down to my helpful tips!

Knock. Knock.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.
This was before the LEGOLAND driver's licenses were issued.
Imagine the car is Legoland, and I am my bank account.
It wasn't me.
I didn’t do it.
☠️
Even LEGO skulls are cool. ☠️
Dave is an unrecognized LEGO genius.
#TeamDave
LEGO Mt. Rushmore was cool AND creepy.
They sang to us.
LEGO Statue of Liberty & Staten Island Ferry!
We rode the real one later that week!
LEGO NYC
Impressive, but the real thing was WILD.
Ninjago
The kids loved this guy.
Minifigure sculptures.
This isn’;’t nearly all of them.
New York Postcard 40519 | Other
New York Postcard 40519 | Other
New York City 21028 | Architecture
New York City 21028 | Architecture

My LEGOLAND New York tips:

  • I would suggest getting the app. It was helpful with menus, maps, reservations, etc.
    • You scan a barcode for the menus as the hotel restaurants.
    • You can use the app to order at some food establishments in the park.
    • You need reservations for the $20 cafeteria burger meals at the Bricks Family restaurant.
  • Don’t climb the wall that looks like a climbing wall, or do it quick before they yell at you.
  • Get the burger with the fry sauce on the side.
  • The BBQ place was good!
  • The crappy unwanted minifigures your kid brings to trade are the same ones that every other kid brings to trade, and what the employees have on their carts or badges to offer for trade.
  • BRING CASH. 💵 Even though the Legoland NY FB tips & tricks group that unceremoniously booted me implores you to leave all cash at home… You want to tip, right? If you want to leave a tip for breakfast where you don’t get any add-ons, for the room service, or the hotel cleaning staff, you need cash.
    • There is not even an ATM on site, I asked the front desk.
    • Don’t try to use cash anywhere else there, which is actually fantastic.
    • We had the kids save up their own money for vacation, then put it on VISA gift cards before we went. They purchased what they wanted at their own discretion. We bought them one clothing or stuffed animal item each.
  • Kids’ meals come with a juice pouch in the cute little lunch bag… but it doesn’t advertise that anywhere… so, we bought 2 extra drinks for $10 the first lunch. 🤦‍♂️
  • Pack a bag with water, snacks, or even lunch.
  • The build-you-own minifigure part selection was grim in the hotel store.
  • Get you some LEGO themed shirts.
  • The Elevator Dance Parties are a blast at the hotel.
Shock 'n' Roll is NOT to be confused with the shocker. 🤘
🤘

If you have been there, please share your tips & tricks in the comments! If you have not, ask some questions and I’ll try to answer!

Change is inevitable, and I hate it. #DollarShaveClub?#DollarShameClub!

Posted on by Standard 1

It started with some warning post cards & emails. Dollar Shave Club was phasing out the three bladed razors in favor of the 4… and switching my plan without asking. Well, mine, and all the other subscribers out there. Why?

Assuming a lot of their membership is male. Stereotypically, men are resistant to change. Why fix what’s not broken?

In the grand scheme of life, this is most certainly just a small annoyance… but an annoyance nonetheless. My typical email writing shenanigans has not provided any “real” answers other than some 🐂💩 about having done research that indicates people like the new blades.

The 4-blade razors feel like tiny demons ripping the hair out of your face one-by-one. I don’t know how a razor company messes up razors, but here we are. I can’t be the only one.

I feel like they had to stop making them for some reason. Costs? Manufacturing facility change? Why change a good thing? I thought they called them The Executive but now they’re calling them “Heritage.”

I sent them this maze via email, Twitter,Facebook, & Instagram, and that have not acknowledged it at all. 🤣

It’s not easy keeping up with these perpetually-out-of-style sideburns & my regal salt & pepper goatee.

The responses have been pretty banal. This was my original email:

Hello Friends,

I think you messed up… but it’s OK.  I’m here for you in your time of need.  I can help clear your mind so you can make better decisions.

I cannot find any fathomable reason that you needed to switch from the heritage series razors to the club series.  The old 3-bladed razors were awesome.  These new 4-blade razors are, to put it bluntly (pun intended), absolute shit.  After one use with the new 4-bladed razors, it feels like someone is ripping the hairs out of my face.

Honestly, I never paid much attention to what the old ones were called.  Was it The Executive?  I don’t know.  I don’t care.  It shaved my face, well, and I did not like any of the other options.

Did you test it on people with alopecia or animals that could not provide feedback?  Were you not alive during the New Coke debacle?  People don’t like change.  Men stereotypically do not like change.  I get anxiety when my wife rearranges the furniture.

You can imagine my displeasure with being forced to use a new razor, and my irritation (pun, again, woefully intended) at the use of it.  I have seen many other unsatisfied people on Twitter.  They all can’t be wrong.

My gift to you is this maze.  You can use it as you contemplate the best way to bring back the old blade.  Labyrinths have traditionally helped people meditate.  Surely it can help you come to a good decision and a concise quick plan to get out of this shenanigans.

I may be forced to try Harry’s, but I like your Shave Butter and I don’t think they have anything comparable.  How can I control my goofy lambchop-exsque sideburns and more-salt-than-pepper van dyke/goatee thing without a razor I can trust?  It is hard to maintain my perpetually out of style facial hair.  (Do you see an anti-change theme here?)

Thank you for your time.  I look forward to your thoughts on the whole thing… or at least an explanation of the thinking behind the change.

My face feels like Anakin when Obi Wan got the high ground.

Pleading for sanity,

-Eric.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI 

This was their blah reply…

Hey Eric,

Thanks for bringing this to our attention. Apologies for the late response. This certainly isn’t the experience we would have hoped for and the quality of our products is a top priority for us, so we appreciate you bringing this to our attention. We apologize for the trouble. I’ll be sure to forward your feedback to the right department for a review. Your experience is extremely valuable to us. We also understand that change can be difficult but we decided to make and sell our own Club Series razor.

Of course, if you’d prefer to cancel your account immediately, we understand as well. Just let us know what you decide and we can get that taken care of right away.

Thanks,

Jane

Then, this…

Thanks Jane,

Did you or any of your team at least try the maze while you thought it over?

This is an insane level of shenanigans.  I thought it would help you reach the right decision to keep making the old style blades until the sun explodes & swallows the earth… or at least until I die.

I would cancel, but your shave butter is super awesome.  I am stuck between a proverbial rock and a hard place, but the rock is traditional shaving cream or gel, and the hard place is your 4-blade razors that feel like they are tugging the follicles out of my face.

Dejected,

Bushy in Bridgeville

This was it. Again. Is “Jane” AI?

Hey Eric,

Thanks for getting back to us. We are currently working on this issue. Can you please confirm if you want me to cancel your account immediately? As checked, you have an item with your recurring box that will be billed this coming April 21st.

Looking forward to your response so we can have this taken care of.

Thanks,

Jane

I guess this is where it ends, my friends.

Hello Jane,

I guess I would like you to cancel my subscription.  I feel like you’re “sus” (as my kids would say) AI, and you’re not giving real reasons why the blades were changed, or even acknowledging my hilarious maze.

I think I may go with Amazon.  Harry’s doesn’t appear to have that shave butter goodness… and Amazon has a plethora of options.  I get TV, music, and everything else from Amazon anyway.  I, for one, welcome our capitalist digital overlords.  Maybe they have a sense of humor?  I can draw them a maze and see if they appreciate it.

It’s never too late to re-think your bad decisions.  Please share the maze with your friends & co-workers.

-Eric.

seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI 

I would move to Harry’s, but they seem to not have anything comparable to DSC’s Shave Butter. I am a convert. No more cream or gel for me. I need to try this dastardly 6-bladed razor. Perhaps an Amazon subscription service will do me well?

They didn’t respond via Facebook messenger, a DM on Twitter seemed very AI, and Instagram’s DM was not entertaining in the least.

I’m not the only one who thought so either. Twitter is LIT UP about it.

https://twitter.com/nswhitley/status/1631739167641141272
https://twitter.com/xtian666/status/1632163174966525952
https://twitter.com/nswhitley/status/1631739167641141272
https://twitter.com/xtian666/status/1632161873775964161
https://twitter.com/landlockedlover/status/1642316824934232064

Do you or did you subscribe to the Dollar Shave Club? Did this annoy you too? Sound off in the comments!

Also, try the maze!

Diarrhea & the CDC

Posted on by Standard Reply

With the world plunged into chaos due to COVID-19, it is important to remember other ways to keep safe.

Diarrhea and swimming don't mix!

🏊‍♀️💩🏊‍♂️

Thankfully, the CDC has your back! They also have secured the services of a graphic designer that is nothing short of a hero.

Diarrhea will never not be funny. Well, maybe if you lived at the time of the Oregon Trail it may have not been funny.

Diarrhea makes me laugh. Pizza Hut and Taco Bell jokes make me laugh. Remember the Pizza Hut maze and tweet? Government makes me laugh. Twitter makes me revile in disgust, but also laugh.

I wonder if the government or Yum! Brands will reply?

I once got a proclamation about food allergies from then-Governor Ed Rendell containing the word diarrhea and I was ecstatic.

This was equally exciting.

DON'T SWIM WITH DIARRHEA
🧻🦄🚽

The Shitar 💩🚽🎸

Posted on by Standard 4
Russ Lorenz Shitar

Builder Russ Lorenz did me a solid. Look at this thing! I need to update my collage.

Here’s a poorly played demo, and it sounds glorious:

Here’s a playlist to honor the theme:

Check out the whole playlist!

Guest Post: How 2 Take Care of a Dog

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, my 6 year old handed me a book that she wrote/illustrated at school.  I didn’t realize they had that much free time.  Apparently her teacher is an accomplice with the stapling of said book.  It’s a conspiracy.

 

How to Take Care of a Dog

  1. First give her food and water.
  2. Take her for (a) poop.
  3. Take her for a wake. [I really hope she means walk here, but a dog at a wake may be fun.]
  4. Snuggle with her.
  5. Wash her. [May I suggest this step comes before the last one?]
  6. Play with her.
  7. Put her to sleep. [Oh, how I don’t even want to think about that phrasing and we don’t even have a dog.]

My daughter is also conspiring with her 4 year old brother to take up a collection to “buy” a dog. Someone must have dropped a $50 figure to them for dog adoption from a shelter, because that is their goal.

Missing from this expert plan is picking up poop from the yard.