Fart Math


This past Christmas, my wife got me a very funny gift, the What’s Your Poo Telling You? 2010 Desk Calendar.  It’s related of course to a book that I’ve mentioned before and that you can see if you ever have to use the facilities at our house… What’s Your Poo Telling You?.  People comment about it all the time, whether amused or horrified.

Today’s page struck me as extra funny because I’ve been talking about math & equations via comments on Facebook lately, it’s tax day, a volcano just erupted, and the volume (& frequency) of my flatulence is one of my wife’s favorite subjects.

I thought I’d share my amusement with you.

The Fart's Loudness Explained

Thursday April 15th, 2010 - The Fart's Loudness Explained

This is why Chick-fil-A is awesome.


These are individual promotions for the South Hills location, but I’m sure many others are doing things like this.

Got this in my inbox recently…

On Thursday, April 15th, you WILL NOT want to miss our Receipt Day 2010! In celebration of taxes being completed, we are hosting Receipt Day again this year! Come to any Pittsburgh Chick-fil-A on Thursday. Eat with us, save your receipt, come back any day in May and the SAME order is FREE! Your receipt will be printed on colored paper!

Lastly, on Friday, April 16th, join us again for Breakfast for Dinner. From 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm you can buy our normal breakfast OR dinner menu during our dinner time. We would love to see you in your pajamas!

We hope to see you sometime this week or maybe even every day! Thank you for being loyal fans and customers! This week is for YOU!

How awesome is that?  A free meal sometime in May?  Their little tiny nugget-filled breakfast sandwiches for dinner?  Genius.  It’s rare to see a grumpy Chick-fil-A employee too, at least in my experience.  I don’t know if they pay well, beat them into submission, brainwash, or what… but it works.

They’re always having ridiculous events.  I wonder if I can get a job as a Chick-fil-A cow?

EAt MoR CHiKiN

EAt MoR CHiKiN

Parking …what?


Some people will do anything to save a parking space…

Move this!

Your tax dollars at work


…or lack thereof.  Yesterday, we got this in the mail:

2010 Census Warning Letter

Really?  I mean, really? I can’t imagine one person out there who thinks this is at all necessary.  Your government actually spent time writing a letter, translating one line into several languages, printing, assembling, and mailing this thing out to every residence?

The one line at the end must be the important line, because it’s the only one they translated… yet, it wasn’t important enough to be in the actual body of the letter.  Are we to ignore the thole main part of the letter?  How did they pick the languages in which to translate the line?  What are they?  Please excuse my public education.  I recognize the English of course, Spanish, what I think is Chinese, then most likely Japanese or Korean, under that… I have no idea, then the Cryillic letters… is that Russian?  Why no French, Italian, German, or at this point Navajo?  Did they just throw darts at a map?

What if I’m politically opposed to the social programs that you need this census data for?  Is this my warning to fill the census out incorrectly?  Doesn’t the government already know everything about me when I do my taxes?  What exactly is my fair share, and who determines that?  I’m sure it’s nothing even close to “if I pay more taxes I get more out of government assistance”… which would seem fair to me.

On the other end of the political scale, even if this paper is made from recycled material, the plastic window in the envelope couldn’t have been environmentally friendly… and this is still a giant waste of paper, ink, envelope glue, and the gas that went into the trucks/planes/cars that delivered these things.  I really hope the tree-hugging hippies pick up on this and rail against it.  If the government expects us to be more responsible with our resources, they ought to lead by example.  Even a fictional villain from the Captain Planet cartoon would find this wasteful.

Oddly, it didn’t even mention the not-so-humorous “Snapshot of America” campaign that’s been shoved down our throats via TV, radio, print, and the ‘net.  I could almost see if it was some expansion of that, or more of an explanation.  This basically translates to “please fill out the census when you get it”… and if you need help, we have a website you can go to.  They couldn’t have done that in the useless ad campaign?

Who paid for this?  We did.  You, me, and everyone else that pays taxes.  Wouldn’t the money used for this mailing have been better used in the schools, health care facilities, highways, and programs that the census letter speaks of?  Or, it could have gone to disaster relief, homeless shelters, cancer research, or better yet, you could have all gotten a few more tax dollars back in your refund.  Before you laugh…  It wouldn’t just be the cost of the paper, ink, envelope, & stamp.  Think of all the people who where paid to write, print, fold, stuff, stamp, & transport these things and how many hours they spent doing it… and imagine what they get paid an hour.  Even with automated machines to do most of the work, someone had to monitor the progress and set the ball rolling.

Was this a ploy to keep the post office running for another few months before it shuts down?  The one sentence that stands out to me is “Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.”  This reads like a threat in a stereotypical “pay for protection” plot line on your favorite crime drama or Simpsons episode.  I imagine someone sounding like Joe Pesci saying “I would ‘ate for sometin’ bad to ‘appen to your community were you to ignore this important mailing coming your way.”

Yes, I just wasted more of your time.  Sorry about that.  Maybe I need a government job…

The Parking Walker in Morningside


So, the parking walker has taken root in other neighborhoods. Perhaps this will one day replace that parking chair. I certainly would have an easier time moving a chair than a walker if it came down to it. This was sent to me by my friend Jason that lives over in Morningside, it was around the corner from his place.

By the way, I did see the parking chair pile as was threatened to happen by the Dormont police. We drove by too fast to snap a photo… but I’ll try to get back there before it’s gone. No word if any walkers made it into the pile.

Dormont cracks down on the parking chair


I don’t know why, but I find these stories highly amusing.

From: http://www.wpxi.com/news/22718732/detail.html

WPXI.com wrote:

Dormont Police Tagging, Seizing Parking Spot Holders

Posted: 3:31 pm EST March 2,2010Updated: 8:31 am EST March 3,2010

DORMONT, Pa. — Using chairs to save parking spots on streets might be a Pittsburgh-area tradition, but one municipality has had enough.

Dormont police will no longer tolerate chairs on streets.

The police department on Tuesday began tagging chairs residents left to save parking spaces. Chairs that remain on the streets will be removed Wednesday and taken to the Dumpster at Banksville Plaza, police said.

Because of the recent heavy snow, the borough had tolerated residents using chairs to save parking spots, police Chief Phil Ross said.

However, when officers recently went around and put the chairs on the sidewalks, residents promptly put the furniture back on the streets, he said.

From: http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/pittsburgh/s_669619.html?source=rss&feed=7

PittsburghLive.com wrote:

Dormont begins campaign against chairs for parking spaces

FOR THE PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Dormont’s police department has declared war on chairs.

Dormont residents who are leaving chairs to ensure parking spaces are saved will find their chairs tagged today and picked up Wednesday, Police Chief Phil Ross said.

“I understand if you spent four hours digging yourself out you tend to get a little possessive,” said Ross, appearing at Monday’s council meeting. He said the department has been tolerant during the past three weeks due to the severe weather conditions. Recently, however, when officers put the chairs on the sidewalk, the residents later stuck the chairs back in the parking spaces.

“Maybe they thought kids were doing it,” Ross said. “The parking spaces belong to everybody and nobody.”

After the pick-up, the chairs will be left near the Dumpster by the salt pile at Banksville Plaza.

The parking chair saga continues, despite the guilt put forth by the parking walker.

Dethlehem Photos – Hard Rock Cafe (X Winter Rock Showcase) Thu. Feb. 18th, 2010


Got some cool photos of Dethlehem last night during the X Winter Rock Showcase IV at the Hard Rock Cafe.  If you haven’t checked these cats out, you need to drop whatever you’re doing and get to their next show.  I’m serious.  They’ll blow you away, and maybe even slay that troll that’s been living under your bridge.

They rocked the house last night, and the place was packed for a Thursday night.  The crowd was really digging them.  Sadly… they didn’t go on to the next round, but I really don’t think that’s a big deal to them.

I hate all of them for their respective “mad skillz”… Playing crazy fast beats in a giant metal helmet, fretboard acrobatics at lightning speed, and growling like the demons that they have sworn to battle.  Yet, I watch & listen in awe each time… and it helps that they’re cool guys while they’re not slaying dragons, rescuing maidens in distress, or wandering aimlessly around the halls of madness.

And, thanks to the guys for the warrior swag!

If you just want to check out the album on Photobucket, you can do that too… normal view or slideshow.

DETHLEHEM LOGO

It’s the #parkingchair with a side of guilt…


Really, who’s gonna move a walker? This territory marker up the street wins at the #parkingchair game.

More & more blogs keep popping up!

Snowpocalypse / Snowmageddon / snOMG 2010 Photos


I got some photos from around the neighborhood Friday, yesterday, & this morning (Feb. 5th, 6th, & 7th 2010), so I thought I’d share.  Click the thumbnail to see the full size image, thanks to PhotoBucket.

Photo from the Pens game last night…


Got a good shot from my cell phone last night at the start of the 3rd period.  tumblr treats your photos a lot better than Facebook…

Buffalo Sabres @ Pittsburgh Penguins - 02/01/2010 (Mellon Arena)

We were sitting in section D23.  Not bad for a cell phone camera, eh?

Oh yeah, the Pens won.