Tag Archives: and

Ham N’ Bean Soup (Recipe) 🫘🥣

Posted on by Standard Reply

I made some ham n’ bean soup. I liked it more this time than last time. Here’ the recipe…

Every once in a while I get hungry for this. I make it slightly different every time. This time was pretty god, so I may replicate it. Or at least attempt to.

Ingredients:

  • 2 freezer bags of leftover ham from Easter, cubed.
  • 2 globs of Irish butter using a tablespoon.
  • Spanish onion, diced.
  • A stick of celery, chopped
  • Shredded carrots, chopped even smaller
  • 1 red bell pepper, cubed
  • 1 tsp. of minced garlic
  • 7 cans of beans. I used the Giant Eagle brand. I got butter beans, black beans, pinto beans, navy beans, kidney beans, great northern beans, & cannellini beans. I thought about garbanzo beans and black eyed peas.
  • 1 can of diced potatoes.
  • 1 bottle of Yuengling Traditional Lager (Sometimes I cook with Straub Amber too.)
  • 12 cups water
  • A tablespoon of Better Than Bullion Ham Base
  • 2 tablespoons of Orrington Farms Concentrated Ham Base
  • Mrs. Dash Table Blend seasoning (to taste)
  • McCormick BBQ Seasoning (to taste)
  • Ground Mustard (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Salt (to taste)
  • Pepper (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
Canned Beans & Potatoes.
Beans
Ham Soup Bases & Beer

I’m impatient so I didn’t use dried beans and soak the overnight while standing on my head facing east while reciting a mantra about not farting after eating this soup or whatever you have to do to do all that properly. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I did drain & rinse them really well. I’m sure this would be fine with ham steaks but the roasted ham from Easter was delicious.

The Method:

Sauteeing the veggies, adding potatoes, then beer.
  1. I dumped all the beans into a colander and mixed them, then rinsed them pretty good with cold water. I set that aside on a bowl for a minute.
  2. I globbed the butter into the stock pot, put it on a burner, and cranked that shit up to medium-high.
  3. As the butter was melting, I added the onions, and let them sautée a bit. I added some onion powder, garlic powder, and a bit of salt here.
  4. I added the carrots, celery, & bell peppers, then sautéed a little more.
  5. This is where I added the rest of the spices to taste. Use whatever floats your boat. I added the minced garlic last so it didn’t burn.
  6. I tasted this before I did anything else and did so by setting aside a spoonful to cool while I moved on to the next step. I could have eaten just this.
  7. I dumped the canned potatoes along with the water into the mix.
  8. I dumped the beer into the mix.
  9. I got 8 cups of water into a giant mixing cup & added the “better than bullion” and soup base stuff. I went a bit lighter than the directions specify because I always end up making the soup too salty. I also didn’t use a measuring spoon. I used regular spoons & serving spoons. What is this, baking?
  10. I added all the beans, and 4 more cups of water.
  11. I added the ham last as I cubed it. I think at some point I cranked the heat down to medium.
  12. After adding the ham, I brought it to a boil on high, then let it boil on medium-low for 20 minutes, lid off, then pulled it off to rest.
  13. If you’re worried about the taste, take a bite way too soon, scorch your tastebuds, and it won’t matter anyway.

This was pretty tasty. I would only maybe add bacon? Manybe peas or something? What would you add? Would you switch anything out? I’m sure chicken bullion or broth would be good here too.

I like to serve this with some buttered rolls, or even a sandwich. Maybe cornbread would be good too?

This is good, but not much tops ham n’ green bean n’ tater stew. I wonder if green beans would be good in this?

Diarrhea & the CDC

Posted on by Standard Reply

With the world plunged into chaos due to COVID-19, it is important to remember other ways to keep safe.

Diarrhea and swimming don't mix!

🏊‍♀️💩🏊‍♂️

Thankfully, the CDC has your back! They also have secured the services of a graphic designer that is nothing short of a hero.

Diarrhea will never not be funny. Well, maybe if you lived at the time of the Oregon Trail it may have not been funny.

Diarrhea makes me laugh. Pizza Hut and Taco Bell jokes make me laugh. Remember the Pizza Hut maze and tweet? Government makes me laugh. Twitter makes me revile in disgust, but also laugh.

I wonder if the government or Yum! Brands will reply?

I once got a proclamation about food allergies from then-Governor Ed Rendell containing the word diarrhea and I was ecstatic.

This was equally exciting.

DON'T SWIM WITH DIARRHEA
🧻🦄🚽

God’s Spam

Posted on by Standard 7

Full Moon view from earth In Belgium (Hamois).

W(aL)D

Sometimes,  like to reply to spam emails.  I really wish this author would have written back to me.

From: Mrs.Linda Vells <sheryely@aol.com>
To:
Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011
Subject: Re: GOD’S PROJECT

Dearest Friend ,
I am Mrs.Linda Huspage Vells from Netherland, I am 68 years old, I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I can’t work or do any stressful thing, according to my doctors they have advised me that I may not live for the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child,
My Husband Huspage died in a fatal motor accident before his death we were true Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of USD$4.6 Million dollars with a Bank in London. Presently, this money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness.
So instead of getting it confiscated I rather have someone whom I can trust to receive the funds and utilize it according to my wishes. And the best part of it is, the Bank told me in the letter that they can have the funds released to my approved person .
Presently, I am using my laptop in the hospital at Germany where I have been undergoing treatment for my sickness. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only more 2 months to live.
It is my last wish to see atleast 60% of this money is
invested/donated to any organisation/buisness of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, e.g. the poor homes, the motherless babies home where I came from, the deaf homes, and churches etc and 40% will be for your Well doing.
All I seek for is a God fearing person like you ,who will carry out my last wishes and before I emailed you today i prayed and the holy spirit gave me the confidence to send you this email. I took this decision, before I rest in peace because my time will soon be up. As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the Bank in London.
Please send me your Full name,full Address,Age,Occupation and phone no.
All I need from you is a confidential assurance that the funds when received by you will be used for the said purpose, Nowadays there are so much scams going on in the internet and it is difficult to trust but I don’t know why the Holy spirit still approved me to email you about this out of few email addresses I have from the internet, yours was the only one that my mind convinced me to contact.
Waiting for your reply.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs.Linda Vells

Of course I was interested.  Invoking God, motherless children, and Cancer in this not-quite Nigerian Scam?

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Oct 20, 2011
Subject: Re: GOD’S PROJECT
To: sheryely@aol.com

Hello Mrs. Vells,

Thank you for taking the time to write.  What an exciting opportunity God has in his plan for us!  I am sorry to hear about your breast cancer and the passing of your husband.  I have yet to have any children, but I do have a plan for world (and lunar) domination that I consider dear to me like it were a child.

I do not mean to question the work of the Holy Spirit… but you can forgive me if my skeptical side sees this as perhaps some sort of scam?  I have heard that there is no cancer in the Netherlands because of all the fish in the diet.  I’m also suspicous that your email address, “sheryely@aol.com“, doesn’t look anything like your name.  How do I know that this isn’t the work of the devil?  Lucifer is a tricky one!  Also, one does not become ruler of the earth (and moon) by being too trusting, if you know what I mean.

I do not feel comfortable divulging my full name, full address, age, occupation & phone number.  I would have to assume that were one on a true mission from God (like the Blues Brothers) that he would have provided you this information in addition to my email address.  I will share my occupation…  Your Future Emperor of the Earth (and Moon).  I don’t have an address currently recognized by any government (save for Monaco, Nauru, and Lichtenstein), and on top of that there is no postal service here in the Sea of Tranqulity.  I’m on the lunar surface overseeing the survey process in order to build the first Chick-fil-A on the moon.

Perhaps you can put the cash in an envelope, and leave it at a drop point where I can pick it up upon my return to earth?  This really is your best course of action.  With the current state of banking in the United States, I don’t want to risk such a large transfer to my US-held accounts.  I also don’t want the government to slap me with a gift tax.  I’ll need funding to keep my minions happy, and eventually all material wealth will be mine anyway.  As my grandfather used to say, “Why piss in the face of progress?”  Your donation will be appreciated!  Do you want to see if my minions can put your head in a jar, like the celebrities on Futurama?  Perhaps it can be arranged.  I’ll need an overseer of the state approved religion, and someone with direct communications to God really would fit the bill.  Please consider my offer for decapitated immortality!

Then we could work together on your plan to eliminate the poor houses, deaf houses, and motherless children in the name of the church.  We may also have a management position open at Chick-fil-A.  I will put in a good word for you.  They dig the religious thing.

Now we need a good drop point in Germany… perhaps somewhere near a beer garden?  I do love to drink beer and wear my lederhosen!  I’ll leave it up to your best judgement, and I’ll pick it up whenever you tell me it’s ready.  I would like some of it in small bills though… as to not annoy the Chick-fil-A when I place my orders.  I prefer to communicate via email, it’s the only reliable form of correspondence here on the moon.

My pleasure,
-Waldo Lunar
World (and Lunar) Domination

✉

A series of Chick-fil-A trucks at the Airport ...

Do you have lunar-surface tires?

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The Toybox

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, Ernie and the Berts got a demo done…

Take a listen, and let me know what you think!

(I had to do a little WordPress code cheating to get the player in here, but the preview works… let’s hope it sticks.)

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