This bed was a nightmare to assemble.


I was going to write an email to the manufacturer, but I can’t find the manufacturer. I left a product review on the Target website, but it’ll probably get deleted. It’s the same terrible bed listed over & over on several sites with different manufacturers. Searching the part numbers on the manual does find a manual online, but it’s not a manufacturer’s site. It’s just some image host. It’s also definitely not the manual that came with our purchase.

The same bed, all over the place, same stock photos:

I know it’s no secret that this happens, has been happening for years… but it’s wild that you can’t track down the base manufacturer.

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My wife ordered this for our daughter’s birthday, and we assembled it today. It was an absolute nightmare.

None of the botls/screws to assemble were labeled or bagged separately… they were all thrown into one bag, there were no extra pieces as is usual. There were two different sized hex bolt heads, and although they included allen keys, this is just ridiculous. The headboard (sideboard?) took about ⅓ of a turn before you had to e-seat the hex key bit. Luckily I had a ratchet version, but it was still tedious.

There are absolutely no pilot holes for any of the screws, again, as is generally the practice with furniture that you assemble. They did not tell you how far to put the wheels in for the trundle part… I had to re-seat them after discovering they wouldn’t fit with the block on the side panels. There weren’t even guide holes for the feet.

This was engineered, manufactured, & packed by people wholly unconcerned for the ease or quality of the assembly of the end product.

I had to make up new swear words by compounding the ones I already knew because none of them were sufficient enough to express my displeasure at the assembly of this certifiable monstrosity.

I would rather pull the short & curlies out of my coinpurse than ever purchase or assemble a product from this manufacturer or seller again.

It says WF318460/WF318467/WF318479 on the manual, and that’s nowhere in the product description. Beware if you googled that part # for help.

Horrible Christmas Presents…


So if you’re looking for a Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Festivus gift… You may not want to go with these, unless you’re trying to give some kind of hint that you don’t like the recipient. I’ve heard them advertised on the radio lately, and they’re both just ridiculous.

Go nuts over Fresh Balls!

Go nuts over Fresh Balls!

Fresh Balls – “So Fresh. So Dry.” | It is what it sounds like. Some kind of deodorant, lotion, or talc for application to your apparently sweaty coin purse.  Maybe I’m not active or sweaty enough, but I’ve never considered this a real problem.  They advertise buying it for someone as a gift.  Who’s damp smelly package are you close to on a regular basis?  I have some good friends, and I’ve thankfully never smelled their family jewels.  If I ever do smell someone’s nether-regions, I’ll be sure to tell them about Fresh Balls.

✔ Badass colors ✔ Badass patterns ✔ Badass warranty

✔ Badass colors ✔ Badass patterns ✔ Badass warranty

Seats of Anarchy – “Custom toilet seats for hard asses.” | I love some good terrible wordplay, but the name is almost as atrocious as the idea. I’ve never watched Sons of Anarchy, but do they poop a lot?  If they did, I could see the point to this then.  If your man cave is your bathroom… maybe this would be appropriate?  Someone better get their Copyright and/or Trademark lawyers on this pretty quickly.  Nothing says badass like a camouflage toilet seat, or one with barbed wire.  Guarantee that all your guests will hover!  “Designer” toilet seats for manly men and bikers…  It sounds like a crappy idea.  Get it?  Crappy?  Toilet seat?  Ugh.

So, what have you seen lately what would make a horrible holiday present?  Anything as bad as (or worse than) these?