Little Billy’s Letters


Recently I found myself at Borders, planning to purchase another one of Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers, but I already have all the ones that they had there on the shelf (except for Wise Up, but I don’t know if I like the format of that one), and I’m impatient, so I decided to look around for another book in the humor section.

I found myself drawn to Little Billy’s Letters.  Bill Geerhart is like me.  He likes to annoy others with goofy letters.  His angle is that he’s writing these letters from Billy, his inner child.  I’m only about a quarter of the way through the book, and it is ridiculously entertaining.

From Amazon.com:

What do , Don’t Even Reply, the Church of Scientology, and Donald Rumsfeld all have in common?: They — and many others — have answered letters from “Little Billy”, a grown man with a cache of stamps and far too much time on his hands. Funny, touching, and delightfully quirky, Billy’s letters cover a broad range of subject matter:

  • Operation Drop-Out: Considering dropping out of elementary school, Billy writes to serial killers and celebrities seeking their wise counsel.
  • Billy’s Law: Which Supreme Court Justice prefers the Big Mac to the Whopper? Who is Janet Reno’s favorite crime fighter? What does Robert Shapiro say is the best defense for being framed for murder? Billy finds out.
  • The Making of the Class President: Billy runs for class president and collects “endorsements” from Nancy Reagan, Dick Cheney, George HW Bush, Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, Ken Starr, and Colin Powell.
  • Choosing My Religion: Billy asks representatives from the Catholic, Presbyterian, Mormon, Raelian, Satanic, Scientologist, Hare Krishna and Unification Church (Moonies) what is “cool” or “easy” about their religion.

Presidents, Supreme Court Justices, Celebrities, Heads of Corporations, Serial Killers, Robot Makers, and the NesQuick Bunny have all replied to “Little Billy’s” scrawled questions.

From Facebook:

In the ’90s and 00’s a grown man–in the guise of a child–wrote prank letters to politicians, CEOs, serial killers and others. “Little Billy’s Letters,” available March 9th from HarperCollins, is a collection of this insane correspondence.

Heh.  Right up my alley, right?

The replies from Charles Manson (& some Manson Family members) had me cracking up… making it even more funny is the fact that I probably shouldn’t be laughing at anything involving serial killers.

Advice from Bob Dole or Dan Quayle on anything is probably always hilarious.

Check out some awesome re-printed samples thanks to Boingboing:  Little Billy’s Letters to famous and infamous people

boingboing | Little Billy's Letters to famous and infamous people

It reminds me of some of my other absolute favorite books.  Idiot Letters by Paul Rosa is the first one of this kind that I picked up, and I think my favorite by default.  Then there was The Complete Idiot Letters (also by Rosa).  I think I also have Letters From a Nut, More Letters From a Nut, & Extra Nutty! Even More Letters From a Nut! by Ted L. Nancy.  If they’re not at my house, I’m sure they’re at my mom’s in my old room.  It seems to almost be an emerging genre…  There are a lot of similar books and even websites out there.

Maybe I need to get back to writing some more goofy letters & emails.

At any rate, I suggest picking up this book, or getting it at the library or in your Kindle or iPad or whatever you crazy kids do to read these days.  It’s absolutely hilarious.

Mustafi

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Giveaway!


Yeah, I’m entering a contest via this blog post.  You ought to enter the contest too.  What is it?  It’s a giveaway from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.  I’ve blogged about them before, so I’m sure you’ve picked up one of the plethora of books available from the BRI already.  If you haven’t, you now have no excuse, you can enter the contest and get one for free!

In all seriousness, this is my book of choice… before bed, to relax, while waiting for something, and of course on the throne.  I love how they’re broken down into short segments of information… sometimes in story form, sometimes like a nice little history lesson, always with a touch of humor.

May times I have leared about something in a Bathroom Reader, then gone right to Google & Wikipedia or the bookstore to learn more.  I highly recommend these books!

Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader

Top 10 Bathroom Reads (Listverse)


Ha, I have #1 on this list from Listverse Top 10 Bathroom Reads

It’s quite interesting & hilarious.  Here’s an excerpt…

Ring of Fire Poo [What's Your Poo Telling You?]

I’m gonna have to pick up #8, or ask the wife to get it for me for Christmas or my Birthday… ha ha ha.  I love it based on it’s tag-line… “How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product” — Genius!

I am disappointed however, that the standard by which all bathroom-reading material should be held was sadly absent form the list.  What about Uncle John?  I have nearly all of their books, and can’t wait until the new ones come out!  I was even recently duped into buying an Armchair Reader instead of the Bathroom Reader that was not by Uncle John or the BRI.  They’re not written nearly as well, nor are they as informative… yet the covers look eerily similar.

By the way, with all this talk of poop… watch out for El Caganer this year!