I’m not Arby’s. You must have found my blog posts about jalapeño poppers and Bronco Berry Sauce.
I don’t have the meats, -AiXeLsyD13
Simple.
Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®
It’s interesting to me that people find my stupid blog contact from when looking doe something else entirely. How inept at the internet must one be to contact me instead of a large corporation?
She had to have read, or more likely ignored, one of these posts:
OK. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I have an entire case(& a little more) of Arby’s delicious Bronco Berry Sauce just taking up space in my dining room. I would eat it all if I could, but it’s probably not an achievable (or wise) goal. Sadly, my Bronco Berry Sauce will have to go without its perfect partner Arby’s delicious Jalapeño Bites… as they have not yet returned to the menu here in Pittsburgh. Perhaps there is still reason to Occupy Arby’s even if Hala asked me nicely not to?
I’m left with a few tasks… figuring out what to do with the sauce besides dunking Tyson’s chicken tenders in it, and trying to pawn some off on friends, family, and maybe even a busker. It expires in June, and I’d hate for any (more) to go to waste.
I was thinking it may make an excellent glaze for meatloaf, or even as an internal ingredient. It would also probably be good as a glaze on grilled or baked chicken, but I’m guessing the high sugar content would make it blacken quite quickly. I wonder if it will freeze? A Bronco Berry Popsicle could be either incredible or disastrous. Would there be a way to work it into an icing (or again as an ingredient) in a chocolate cupcake?
My readers and commenters are obviously the most enlightened and intelligent group of people I know, so I’m turning to you for ideas.
I promise to wrap it better than my last gift from Arby's if I need to mail it to you.
Here’s where the contest comes in. Give me your recipe for something including Arby’s Bronco Berry Sauce as an ingredient. You may want to familiarize yourself with it if you’ve never tried it. The name is misleading, it contains no berries or horses. It’s sweet, it’s spicy, it’s awesome. This will be like Chopped or Iron Chef, except instead of TV fame and butt-loads of money the prize is… Let’s say 13 packs of Bronco Berry Sauce, because I like the number 13. Also, I’m not Alton Brown or Ted Allen. If it’s really good, we’ll maybe eventually have to make copycat recipes to continue making the prize winner.
You have until Friday May 4th to get your recipes to me. I’ll post them in a blog, put up a poll, and have the readers vote. We’ll close the poll & pick a winner on May 13th. You can enter multiple times within reason. Voting will happen with the little poll widget here, so encourage your friends, neighbors, family, and even enemies to vote for you.
The only way to enter: You can email your fantastically delicious recipe to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com with the subject containing the hashtag “#Bronco13” & the name of your recipe. We’ll annoy people with it on Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, & wherever else hashtags work.
In the event of a tie, both of you will get 13 packets of Bronco Berry Sauce.
Today there was a nice little squishy bubble pack in the mailbox when I got home. It had my name on it and appeared to be from Arby’s again. More neat stuff from Arby’s? What could it be? A hat? A T-shirt? An oven mitt that talks like Tom Arnold when you press a button? (Actually, that would be pretty neat.)
I hope it wasn’t intentional. It’s like a mini version of the horse-head scene in The Godfather. I mean, the card is sort of impersonal, but the gesture is nice when the sentiment isn’t stained with blood red not-really-berry sauce. It’s unsettling to open such a package. It almost looks like a threat.
It’s a Bronco Berry Bloodbath!
I promise to wrap it better than my last gift from Arby’s if I need to mail it to you.
I’m guessing that given Arby’s’ track record, it’s not a threat and it’s yet another genuine attempt to keep a goofy customer happy. I have no idea if this generated from their web contact form, or Twitter, or what. I would have maybe liked a more personal letter (again like the incredible one from Ms. Moddlemog), and the United States Postal Service to have handled my package with more care. Ha. Handled my package. But, I’ll settle for free stuff… even if there are only 2 unmolested packets.
I did notice it was addressed to me, and notBronco Jalapeño. I also noticed that these packets are rectangular… where the other ones are circles. Clearly, there is more than one source for Bronco Berry Sauce. Where is it my friends? Can I find it? Can I buy direct? Can I get the recipe?
I need a job where I can reply to goofy emails all day, and send people cool free swag… or gooey free swag.
So, what do you think of this effort? I have scored many awesome freebies, but I still don’t have jalapeño bites being served at Arby’s in Pittsburgh. Is this a fail? Do we still need a protest song?
Should I complain to the post office about this?
If you have no idea what’s going on, check out these posts:
I DM’ed them and told them of me real name and my cause. I think more companies are engaging people personally & directly with Twitter like this, and it’s a great thing. Who doesn’t like free stuff?
Today the mailman delivered some goodies…
Free stuff!
The card s pretty cool too!
@Bronco_Jalapeno #ThanksRadioShack...? Yes, yes he does.
Hilarious. How fun is that? I do need some soldering stuff, I guess it’s off to Radio Shack for the stuff next time I need it! (I might get a couple of capacitors to mess around with.)
So, thanks to Radio Shack for being cool, for the laugh, & for the T-shirt!
I walked into the house today and saw this rather large box on the couch where I normally sit. My wife had arrived home a little while earlier, and brought it inside. FedEx dropped it off on the front porch earlier in the day.
I saw my name, then the Arby’s logo, and I could hardly contain my excitement.
...For me?
I mean, I thrive on the ridiculous, and this is most certainly ridiculous. This couldn’t be a box full of Bronco Berry Sauce, could it? Indeed, it could. Absolutely ridiculous. Personal supply? I mean, I like to eat but…
Yee-haw!
That is a whole lot of horses and berries! Well, it would be… if Bronco Berry Sauce actually contained any broncos or berries. The label on the box says that it’s 240 1.5 oz. containers of this decadently delightful dip. It also contained this lovely letter…
Hala Moddelmog, President of Arby's
A letter from the President of Arby’s?Hala Moddelmog rules. I mean, I don’t see the presidents of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or Pizza Hut responding to a crazy person on the internet with such individually directed kindness & generosity.
I’m obviously going to need help finishing this case. It expires in June, so I highly doubt we can get through it all. Want some Bronco Berry Sauce? I’m willing to share what is now a rarity in our region.
I’m saddened by the news that Jalapeño Bites won’t be returning to Arby’s in Pittsburgh any time soon, but I do believe that my emails have actually been passed along. I will pass on the Occupy Arby’s sauce sit-in. But I still may write a song, even if no one helps me.
Perhaps the song will be the thing that puts our market managers and the marketing team over the edge. I’ll have to write to my new friend Ms. Moddlemog, and see exactly where to direct my comments.
I almost want to build something out of them. It looks like 1 or 2 popped (or was squeezed) open, but it’s an acceptable loss. I mean, it was free. We had some Bronco Berry Sauce tonight with a few Tyson chicken tenders for dinner in lieu of boring old bottle barbecue sauce.
Bronco Jalapeño’s appetite may be satisfied for now, but my quest is not over. Arby’s in Pittsburgh, are you listening? Bring back the Jalapeño bites! This potato bite shenanigans is just that, shenanigans.
To follow the story from the start, check out these posts:
So, on one hand… Arby’s is trying to placate the great Bronco Jalapeño with the promise of personal gain. I think. They don’t flat-out say that, but that’s what I read from it. What do you think?
So they intend to silence the great Jalapeño with a free sample or some coupons? Perhaps with just their word? I have not received a reply to the tweet yet… and I’m not sure how they would send a supply of Bronco Berry Sauce as I don’t think Bronco Jalapeño has an address… unless they know that I am Bronco Jalapeño… (which isn’t too hard to figure out) but then again I don’t remember if I provided my address in their contact form, and they haven’t reached out to ask me for it.
On the other hand, I received this email…
From: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com> To: me@my.email.address Sent: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 10:20 AM Subject: Customer Feedback #474233
Dear Mr. Carroll,
Thank you for your comments regarding our Bronco Berry Sauce. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products. We have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development team for future consideration. Also, Bronco Berry sauce is not available for retail sale.
If you have any additional questions you can give us a call at 800-599-2729.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
Allow me to translate a few key lines…
No hat is too big for Bronco Jalapeño!
“We have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development team for future consideration.” means a couple of things:
“We’ve shared your comments” means that it’s off of their collective customer service desk, so they consider the issue resolved, and can blame any further lack of progress or answers solely on the “Menu and Product Development team.”
“For future consideration” means I won’t get a reply from them either, and this will most likely go ignored, completely negating the statements “Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.”
Perhaps I’m too cynical.
“Also, Bronco Berry sauce is not available for retail sale” means “too bad for you!”
From: Eric <me@my.email.address> To: “customerservice@arbys.com” Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012 Subject: Re: Arby’s Feedback #473197
Hello friends,
It’s been a week, and I haven’t heard back from my feedback submission… #473197.
Any hope of some answers?
Thanks,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI
I did get this engaging missive after I inquired about a response using my trusty tracking number…
From: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com> To: me@my.email.address Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012 Subject: Arby’s Feedback #473197 Follow-Up
Dear Arby’s Guest,
This e-mail is related to your feedback tracking number 473197.
In order to better serve our customers, we would like to know if you have been contacted by a representative of Arby’s in our efforts to resolve your issue or answer your question.
We appreciate your comments and will use them to improve the overall experience of our customers at our restaurant.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Guest Feedback Team
So I wrote back (again)…
From: Eric <me@my.email.address> To: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com> Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012 Subject: Re: Arby’s Feedback #473197 Follow-Up
Hello,
I have not been contacted. That’s why I wrote again. Should I include a copy of my 1st email?
Thanks,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI
Is it just me, or was the purpose of my original email to state that I had not yet received a reply? Yet, that asked me if I had received a reply? Are you even reading these emails, Arby’s?
Comparing my minor inconveniences to a “massive” political movement? Yes. I just did that. I generally make light of many things. You’re about to read one of those things.
"*Limited availability at participating locations" roughly translates to "NONE FOR YOU!"
This is ridiculous. I can be more ridiculous. So, I decided to submit an email via Arby’s webform:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
No more Jalapeño Poppers & (perhaps more importantly) BRONCO BERRY SAUCE®?
Please tell me that this is temporary insanity & that they will be back soon. Please?
I understand that the stores were given a choice between carrying some loaded potato bite shenanigans and the Jalapeño poppers, and local stores in my area (Pittsburgh, PA) opted for the not-so-awesome menu selection.
I understand that we (the consumers) are directed to voice our opinions to the local Arby’s locations.
My questions to you are as follows…
☘ WHY? Why did they have to choose? Why not carry both?
☘ WHY (again)? Why would one choose some potato things over the awesomeness that is BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® (& Jalapeño Poppers)?
☘ HOW? How do I contact the local Arby’s via email? Do they each have email addresses? Is there a regional manager?
☘ WELL? If I can’t get the BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® locally, can I order some online? Will you start bottling & selling it in grocery stores now that it’s no longer readily available to the masses?
It most certainly does not put me in a good mood to not have my BRONCO BERRY SAUCE®. I’m pretty sure I could straight-up just drink the stuff were it a little thinner. Rude Mood Food is more like it now, my friends.
I may have to organize an OCCUPY ARBY’S at a nearby location. It may get crazy. There may be news cameras. It will be a peaceful protest, so please don’t pepper spray any of us. You may, however, shower us with packets of BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® and hot fresh Jalapeño Poppers. We’ll have to chant things like “Don’t be a dingleberry, bring back the Bronco Berry!”, “No Jalapeños dude, that’s Rude Mood Food!”, or “Potato Bites, really bite!” (Well, that one may need work.)
Please, talk some sense into the Arby’s locations in the Pittsburgh area before it comes down to this insanity.
Bronco Berry Backer, -Eric
This is all I have received so far:
From: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com> To: me@my.email.address Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 Subject: Arby’s Feedback #473197
Dear Arby’s Guest,
We have received your Guest Feedback message and are directing it to the appropriate department. For follow-up purposes, your feedback tracking number is 473197.
Your feedback helps us improve the overall guest experience at our restaurants. Thank you for taking the time to contact us.
Sincerely, Arby’s Guest Feedback Team
Ridiculous. It’s still not the most ridiculous thing that’s happened in an Arby’s parking lot around here. I mean, remember this dude?
If they have to tell you that it's delicious, maybe it's not really delicious.
Not that I’m the biggest Arby’s fan in the first place. I’m more of a fan of actual Roast Beef, not this lunch-meat stuff like Arby’s or the all-gone-except-the-ones-on-the-Turnpike Roy Rogers has. (Remember Rax? They had that too.) Ever been to Lion’s Choice? I believe they’re centered around St. Louis. That, my friends, is how roast beef is done.
You might say “just get your jalapeño bites (or poppers) somewhere else, you weirdo”. To that, I say…
I can’t, most places that have them also have some form of deathfish in the fryer… which may possibly kill me (and put a damper on my dining experience).
Are you also angry about this? Voice your opinions below… perhaps we can get Arby’s to look here & reconsider this grievous error. If not, maybe we’ll to the Occupy Arby’s thing. I bet we could get on the news.
Beyond that, the next step may be petitioning McDonald’s, Wendy’s, & Chick-fil-A to carry them…
Do you have any suggestions for protest slogans? Would you join an Occupy Arby’s movement? What should be our next course of action?
Ever get the Jalapeño Bites at Arby’s? They’re awesome… but the most awesome thing about them is that they come with a genius little cup of Bronco Berry Sauce®.
Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®
Despite the name, it contains no horses or even any berries. It’s a simple list of ingredients that are probably more sweeteners and preservatives than actual food with nutritional value. It’s something that Clark Griswold would be proud of. In fact, here’s the list as states by the Arby’s nutrition page…
Bronco Berry Sauce® Ingredients:
Sugar, Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Red Bell Peppers, Distilled Vinegar, Modified Corn Starch, Jalapeno Peppers, Onion (dehydrated), Xanthan Gum, Spices, Salt, Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate (preservatives), Citric Acid, Red 40, Blue 1.
Crazy. It’s odd that they don’t have to declare the spices… but there’s whole other issue. I wrote to Arby’s via webform, suggesting that they ought to bottle and sell the stuff…
Buenos Dias Buckaroos!
I write to you today with high praise for your Bronco Berry Sauce. Holy Cow, is it good! I mean, the Jalapeño Bites are excellent in and of themselves, but the delicious dip takes it to an infinitely higher level of superbity. Is superbity even a word? I don't know, my friends. But if it's not, it should be... and it should be the word to describe Bronco Berry Sauce.
I would like to know if you ever have plans to bottle the stuff and make it available for sale inside your restaurants, like Bob Evans does with their Wildfire BBQ Sauce? I think it would be a stroke of genius. I'd also purchase your Arby's Sauce, Horsey Sauce and the Honey Mustard if it were available. But the Bronco Berry Sauce is the object of my culinary desire.
I have seen the "copy-cat recopies" online, but I balk at their attempts to copy perfection. Why settle for an imitation when you can have the real thing?
If there are no plans to bottle & sell the Bronco Berry Sauce, can I somehow buy a case of the little dipping cups? Typing that out, it sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious.
Thanks you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you!
Yee-Haw!
-Eric
world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Well, apparently they have no plans of doing any such thing. They also apparently get this question a lot… as I got virtually the same answer twice:
from customerservice@arbys.com to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com date Tue, Aug 10, 2010 subject Customer Feedback #387566 mailed-by arbys.com
Dear Eric,
Thank you for your comments. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. I have forwarded your request to the Menu and Product Development teams. However, the Bronco Berry Sauce is not available for retail sale.
We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
from customerservice@arbys.com to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com date Thu, Aug 12, 2010 subject Customer Feedback #388610 mailed-by arbys.com
Dear Eric:
Thank you for your comments. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. Arby’s sauces are currently not available for retail sale, however, we have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development teams.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
Odd. I’d like to get directly in contact with the product development team… I mean, why wouldn’t it work?
I know there are a plethora of copycat recipes online. They’re easy to find and probably easy to make… but they’re not the same. So… I can do without the Red 40 and Blue 1… but where can I pickup Xantham Gum, and what are the magic “spices”?
Or, Arby’s could just get with it and bottle their sauces. Since Wendy’s & Arby’s are now owned by the same company, their Sweet & Sour Nugget Sauce would be good too!
Do you have any sauces that you think ought to be bottled & sold?
World (and Lunar) Domination 