Tag Archives: Christmas

A Christmas Story in Dormont

Posted on by Standard 10

A Christmas Story

Image via Wikipedia

So, last night we went to the Hollywood Theater in Dormont to see A Christmas Story.  It was a joint venture with In Person Productions, and they brought Ian Patrella (Randy) to the theater for a meet n’ greet & commentary.  It was a great time, despite a few little quirks in the evening.

The Hollywood itself is a cool little theater, the first time my wife & I had gone there, we saw Inglourious Basterds, and we sat in the balcony.  It was very cool to see that movie in a little local theater.  Although we didn’t, we could walk there.  Ha ha.  It’s a great thing to have in your neighborhood.

Last night, there was a decidedly different atmosphere.  Of course, Christmas decorations and attire were everywhere… it was quite festive.  We arrived and were ushered in, and moved on to the concession stand.  We decided on just a large Coke to share, and were greeted warmly & quickly, although the woman made sure to note that we had several scary movies coming up in December.  Ha ha.  Do I look scary, or like a horror fan?  Maybe it’s the facial hair.

We got inside & chose some seats on the floor, near the middle in the back.  There were quite a lot of people there already when we arrived, and many more flocked in behind us.

Before the movie, Mr. Bending form In Person Productions introduced a representative for local EMT’s, as they were benefiting from a Red Ryder B.B. Gun raffle, and then introduced Ian Patrella and a gave a little talk about how the evening was going to run.

Then, they trotted out Dormont’s mayor, Tom Lloyd, to present a key to the city to Mr. Patrella.  Mayor Lloyd is a bit of a hot-button issue ’round Dormont if you’ve been paying attention to the news.  I know Mr. Lloyd has been pushing for revitalization of small businesses in Dormont… or at least that’s what his bio says, but there’s also been a quite public pissing contest (for lack of a better term) between the Mayor & the Police Chief, or maybe even two at this point.  I know it has to do with GPS units in local police cars, who can use what door to go in & out of the municipal building, and who has the power to cancel parking and/or other traffic citations… and I think even who the fines should go to, if they’re local or state violations.  Also, apparently who has the biggest cojones.  My bet’s on Mr Lloyd’s, as they’re probably dragging on the floor at this point.  Pardon my vulgarity, but really… I’ve gotten way to many impeach the mayor post cards in the mail, and too many letters to the editor in the local quarterly newsletter to take either side seriously at this point.

Speaking of point… I’m leading into the fact that Mr. Lloyd presenting a key to the city to Mr. Patrella may have not been a great decision at this point in time.  The mayor was visibly physically in distress, and I know you’re not supposed to discriminate on age, but I found myself wondering aloud how he’s able to carry out official duties.

Also… upon presentation of the key to Mr. Patrella, he proceeded to tell him that he’s never seen the movie.  Yes, we’re talking about A Christmas Story.  Yes, Mayor Lloyd looks about 347 years old.  Yes, they run A Christmas Story for 24 hours every Christmas on TBS or TNT or whatever channel.  Yes, he actually told the actor from the movie that he’d never seen the movie.  It was all very odd.  Then, he very conspicuously ambled up the aisle after presenting the key… taking his 4-5 person entourage with him.  So, apparently he couldn’t spare a few hours to watch the movie now?  I found the whole ordeal quite disrespectful to Ian, In Person Productions, and the Hollywood Theater.  Perhaps he has political or social ties to the FOHT, but they ought to reconsider letting him embarrass the city in the future.

Ian Patrella (Randy from A Christmas Story) & Me

Ian Patrella & Me

Mr. Patrella was going to provide commentary during the film, but they apparently had mic or PA issues, and he wasn’t able to really shout over the film.  I hope they got the issues resolved for the rest of the showings this weekend.  I did really appreciate the Q&A at the beginning of the evening.  Ian is a great public speaker & Q&A guy, & seemed to be genuinely having a great time.  He’s currently giving tours at the house used for the outdoor scenes which is now an A Christmas Story themed museum.  He was very cool at the meet & greet after the movie, and took the time to pause with me for a photo and sign my DVD.  I hope to make the road-trip out there some time soon!  You can also win an all-inclusive package trip by reenacting a scene from the film at AChristmasStoryScene.com!

The other interesting part of the evening was a little troll that sat behind us during the film, mouthing off how incredibly bored he was not only at the pre-film ceremonies, but during the actual film viewing itself.  He continued to ramble & talk about totally unrelated things.  After a while, my wife had enough, turned around, and asked him to please be quiet.  He mumbled inaudibly as he was scolded by the woman he was with and giggled-at by the couple they were with.  Then the big shot said “I asked ‘what is she gonna make me?'”  Yes.  This was a grown man.  I was turning to look as he asked “Is he gonna make me?  I raised up slightly in my seat, as he slouched in his.  He didn’t say one more word for the entire duration of the film.  Apparently I do look scary.  We saw the little guy afterward, and he was just under 5 feet tall.  Apparently he had something that he though he needed to prove, then decided it wasn’t that important.  I’d love to know out of a theater full of people, why people like this seem to gravitate towards wherever I’m sitting.

All in all though, the idea & the execution of the evening was great as far as the Hollywood, In Person Productions, & Mr. Patrella went.  I’d like to catch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation there later in December.  I also cant wait to see who In Person brings around in the future.  I shot off an email when we got home to let the Hollywood & In Person Productions know what a great time we had, and Mr. Bendig from In Person wrote back very quickly, with another message to follow.  I look forward to some of the movies and personalities that they’re looking to bring to the Hollywood.  (Did somebody say… Monster Squad?)

Related articles

Christmas Music

Posted on by Standard 2

I like weird Christmas music. I’m not sure why. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and of course I dig the spooky sound/imagery with “scary” songs… but I listen to that all year long.  I just listen to Christmas music when the holiday is approaching, then it’s locked safely away until next year.  I’ve always had a thing for odd/goofy songs… and some of these are the goofiest ones yet.  I’ll start with whole albums that I have lying around, then I’ll descend into random stuff that I’ve collected over the years.

Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus
Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus

Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus – Various Artists [Sympathy for the Record Industry] – This is one goofy 2-disc set. with 13 tracks on each CD.  I mean, look at the cover.  It looks like an LP from the 70’s… maybe 60’s.  This is very punk and garage rock oriented… it’s a lot of sloppy dirty bands just rocking out some Christmas songs… some traditional, some original.  One of my favorites is the opener “Christmas Is A Comin’ (May God Bless You)” by the Shitbirds.  It starts out nice enough, then descends in to chaos.  Claw Hammer’s “The Night Before Christmas” is unsettling, and The Phenobarbidols’ “O Holy Night Parts 1 & 2” is sure to win over a crowd until it gets to part 2 (The most awesome part).

Punk Rock Xmas

Punk Rock Xmas

Punk Rock Xmas – Various Artists [Rhino] – Of course, any compilation with the Ramones’ “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)” is a win in my book.  This actually has a couple of the same songs as the previously mentioned CD.  I guess if you’re putting out punk rock Christmas songs, you’ve only got so many to choose from.  This disc is tight, allt he songs are winners in my book.  D.I.’s “Mr. Grinch”, The Damned with “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause”, Sloppy Seconds, Pansy Division, The Humpers… all with great solid catchy tunes.  This is a definite one that you need to own if you’re a punk rock fan and Christmas music fan.

The Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride

The Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride

The Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride – Psychostick [Rock Ridge Music ] “Jingle bell. Jingle bell.  Jingle bell.  Metal!” is all you really need to know about this one.  If you’re going to go out shopping on Christmas Eve, you’ll want to listen to this to prepare yourself for battle with those other maniacal consumers.  This is all kinds of heavy and aggressive…  and it’s Christmas music.  These dudes are also hilarious, which there should be more of in metal.  Some metal bands take themselves way too seriously.  Psychostick does not… perhaps obvious from the title of the disc.

Oi to the World

Oi to the World

Oi to the World – The Vandals [Kung Fu Records] – While there are a plethora of awesome holiday albums out there, I’ll stop here.  Everyone has probably heard No Doubt’s cover of “Oi to the World”, not even knowing it’s a cover.  The song is catchy, it’s got a good message, and it’s funny.  This whole album is ridiculous.  With tracks like “A Gun for Christmas”, “Grandpas Last Christmas”, “Christmas Time for My Penis”, and “My First Xmas, As a Woman” you know it’s got to be good.  These guys are crazy, and their songs make you tap your feel and put you in a cheery mood.  It’s all-in-all a great Christmas disc.

Now, I’d just like to pop up some of my favorite Christmas songs… and I’d love to hear some of yours in the comments section…

 

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra @ Mellon Arena (Review)

Posted on by Standard 2

You may have read my earlier posts about the seats for Star Wars: In Concert, and how complaining about them eventually translated into two free seats for yesterday afternoon’s Trans-Siberian Orchestra show.

Our seats were in the EI-2 section, row L.  We were ridiculously close to the stage and not so far up & to the side that we couldn’t appreciate the view.  I need to write to Mr. Scalzott again for providing the free tickets and hospitality of the arena.

I’ve got to say, this was an excellent show… and I’d love to go back if I can afford to next time they’re in town.  The TSO really knows how to put on an event.  The Star Wars: In Concert crew could learn a lesson from them in lighting, lasers, fog machines,  floating remote stages, hydraulics, and pyrotechnics.  Actually, they could learn a few lessons.  I can imagine a hybrid of the two that would be absolutely ridiculous.  Maybe I need to write to the TSO, John Williams, and George Lucas.  Ha ha ha.

A few things surprised me about the show…  I had no idea that there were vocals & power-ballady type songs, and that there  was a cohesive story for the most part.  I feel like it kept it entertaining for all types of people.  The narrator & vocalists were awesome.  Sadly my prior knowledge of the TSO consisted of an mp3 with an incorrect ID3 tag, mislabeling “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24” for “Carol of the Bells” (which it arguably is… along with “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”).

I had no idea that Alex Skolnick or the other guys from Savatage were associated with this.  Skolnick wrote articles for just about every guitar magazine that I ever picked up back when I was learning to play & read tab.  They made the show like a metal concert at times… I thought one guy in the front was going to have a heart attack and die when he threw metal with both hands as Alex was molesting the fretboard in front of him.  When the show reached it’s second half, they introduced some stuff from the new album, Night Castle.  I swear they snuck some Sabbath & Metallica riffs in there.  There was even an old-school 80’s-rock drum solo… and I think I loved the fact that old ladies were watching the solo in abject horror as much as I liked the spectacle itself.  They also had a girl playing the electric violin… I saw it more than I heard it… but it was visually pretty cool element, like the spinning keyboard.

I didn’t know that it had heavy religious overtones.  I mean, I knew it was a holiday concert… and I’m certainly not opposed to religious ideals.  I just didn’t know, and found it surprising… especially with tightly clothed women dancing like strippers in front of fire.  I think it’s cool that they can integrate the stuff, maybe some overzealous idiot out there got the message to loosen up a bit.  While they played a medley that included the melody of “Canon in D”, the girls were dancing scantily-clad on the stage… and I asked my wife Bethany if we had to call t “Canon in Double-D”.

Like I mentioned before, it being entertaining to everybody…  I mean everybody.  There were all kinds of people there… classes, ages, stereotypes, whatever group  you want to name, they were there (except maybe race… it was all crackers up in there).  I did see an extraordinarily high amount of mullets though.  I’m talking prize-winning specimens like the comb-over on top/hair down to my ass & the trimmed up top/pony tail in the back.

I can’t say anything negative about the show itself, the seats, or the arena… except (you knew it was coming) that I found the parking rate to be amusing.  By looking on the Arena website, it listed parking in the lot where we parked as $7, but it does note “Event parking rates differ for each Mellon Arena event. Check your event’s information page on this website for specific parking rates”.  The funny part is that it said nothing about parking on the event page other than the fact that no pre-sold parking would be available.  Parking was $15… more than double the normal rate, which is fine, but there was no prior indication.  I paid in mostly $1’s and even some quarters.

I hope the TSO and the Mellon Arena don’t mind if I share some crappy quality cell phone photos…












Top 10 Bathroom Reads (Listverse)

Posted on by Standard 2

Ha, I have #1 on this list from Listverse:  Top 10 Bathroom Reads

It’s quite interesting & hilarious.  Here’s an excerpt…

Ring of Fire Poo [What's Your Poo Telling You?]

I’m gonna have to pick up #8, or ask the wife to get it for me for Christmas or my Birthday… ha ha ha.  I love it based on it’s tag-line… “How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product” — Genius!

I am disappointed however, that the standard by which all bathroom-reading material should be held was sadly absent form the list.  What about Uncle John?  I have nearly all of their books, and can’t wait until the new ones come out!  I was even recently duped into buying an Armchair Reader instead of the Bathroom Reader that was not by Uncle John or the BRI.  They’re not written nearly as well, nor are they as informative… yet the covers look eerily similar.

By the way, with all this talk of poop… watch out for El Caganer this year!

Mellon Arena – Ticket Sales FAIL.

Posted on by Standard 4

From: Eric Carroll me@myemailaddre.ss
To: Customer Service Mellon Arena info@mellonarena.com
Sent: Mon, November 30, 2009
Subject: Horrible seats for Star Wars: In Concert

Hello Mellon Arena Customer Service & Ticket Sales,

I am taking the time to write to you this evening to express my disappointment in the sale of our seats for yesterday’s Star Wars: In Concert event at the Mellon Arena.

While I understand that we purchased the “cheap” $33 seats (two of which somehow magically totaled $93.40 instead of $66.00 for various dubious Ticket Master fees — including a “printing fee” in which I used my own paper & ink — which are not your fault), I feel that your integrity is to be called into question when considering the vantage-point from exactly where we were expected to sit throughout the show.

I would think that you would be familiar enough with your own venue to know that the seats in section E13, row M are blocked from seeing anything above a certain height at the other end of the house thanks to the lower edge of section F hanging directly above us (and directly in our field of vision). I would also think that you would know what this height is, and that the screen coming in for this particular show was being touted as “a three-story-tall, high-definition LED super-screen — one of the largest ever put on tour.“

Apparently I am quite wrong, my friends.

Please see the attached image from my cell phone so you can fully appreciate the vantage point from which we were expected to view the “live music and film elements … synchronized in order to create a full multi-media, one-of-kind Star Wars experience.” You’ll note the bluish-white line behind the orchestra that is the very bottom of the giant partially-visible screen where the movie clips played.

I can tell you that the ushers in our area got an ear-full from several other angry concert-goers (including my wife who had purchased the tickets for me as an early Christmas present). Our row had cleared out of all but 4 people by the time the 2nd song had started. I would have left also, but the concert had started, and I wasn’t about to miss any of what I could actually see by running around like a madman trying to find a seat.

I did notice several rows almost empty down to the right of the floor, while seats to the back & sides were full… surely this is a commentary on the outrageous prices charged for the show? It only made it all the more infuriating that a seat with a better vantage point sat empty during the performance.

In lieu of trying to “sneak down” into the “better” seats, at intermission, we made the trek down & back up to section F and asked an usher there for permission to sit in any unoccupied seats. We were pointed to some open seats, and several others filtered in around us with the same idea as the show came closer to starting again.

From this height, the speaker array on the right still blocked a good portion of the screen, but at least it wasn’t cut in half… and from here, we could actually see the “laser show” being projected on to the ceiling.

While I found the concert itself and exhibits throughout the arena to be an exhilarating experience, the full multimedia-experience in the arena was sadly stained by the poor choice of Mellon Arena to sell seats with a substandard view of the main event.

I have been to countless events over the years at the Mellon (& formerly the Civic) Arena — from concerts, to Penguins Games, to circuses, to I think even a truck & tractor pull with Bigfoot & USA-1 when I was a tiny young lad. They have all been great memories… and this is the only time that I have felt wronged by the venue.

I hope that you take these thoughts into consideration when selling seats for the remainder of shows throughout the last standing days of the arena. You’re making memories for people, please try to make sure that they’re positive ones, and that they’re not marred by poor logistics. I’d ask for our money (or half of our money) back if I thought it would get me anywhere, but I am more concerned about the experience than the money.

Thank you for your time, I hope that this is passed on to the appropriate parties, and I do look forward to a response.

Regards,
-Eric Carroll
me@myemailaddre.ss