There are way too many ways to cook a hot dog. Not long ago, if you suggested I boil some… I would politely have found the quickest way out of that conversation. This time I simmered the dogs in beer, then popped them in the oven on the air-fryer setting.
Then again, sometimes I get weird ideas that won’t go away until they come to fruition. Hot dogs aren’t my favorite food, but they’re fun to make different every time. If not grilling, I like to cook them in the oven, especially when cooking dinner for the family & wanting a whole pack cooked at once. This time I did something different.
After you read this recipe, tell me what you’d do different, or what you like on your dogs! Oh yeah. sides too. I wanted to use corn starch on the potato wedges, but I was out, so flour it was. It crisped them up just enough to keep it interesting. I was heavy on the black pepper, so they had a bite.
Cut potatoes into wedges, about ½” thick at the skin edge.
Soak in cold water 30 minutes (this pulls starch so they crisp better).
Drain, blot very dry. Moisture = soggy wedges.
Toss in a bowl with:
1–2 Tbsp cornstarch
2 Tbsp oil (olive, canola, or peanut)
Seasonings: paprika, garlic/onion powder, salt, pepper, maybe cayenne or smoked paprika for punch.
Cook
Oven air fry or convection at 425°F (both will crisp better than standard bake).
Spread on parchment-lined sheet, not touching.
Cook 25–30 min, flipping halfway.
🌭 Hot Dogs
Parboil
In a small pot, add:
1 bottle/can Yuengling
1 beef bouillon cube
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp minced garlic
¼ tsp ground mustard (optional, but yes it’ll add a tangy depth)
Bring to a gentle simmer. Drop in hot dogs, simmer 5–6 min (don’t boil hard).
Finish in Oven
After parboil, move hot dogs to a rack or foil-lined pan.
Toss them in the oven (same rack as potatoes if you can) for 8–10 min at 425°F (air fry/convection), flipping once, so skins blister and caramelize a little.
🥖 Buns + Cheese
At the last 2–3 min of hot dog oven time, open buns, lay on pan.
Add cheese slices. Toast until buns are warm and cheese is gooey.
🔄 Timing Plan
Start soaking potatoes → 30 min.
Preheat oven to 425°F (air fry/convection).
While soaking, prep hot dog beer bath.
Drain & coat potatoes. Get them in oven first (they take longest).
Timer: 25–30 min.
While wedges cook, simmer hot dogs in beer bath (~5–6 min).
About halfway into potato time (15 min mark), move hot dogs to oven on pan/rack.
They’ll need ~8–10 min to finish, which lines up with potatoes finishing.
Last 2–3 min: add buns + cheese.
Everything should hit the plate hot at the same time.
🌭🫘🥔
🫘 Drunken Baked Beans
A simple can of beans made rich with the leftover beer broth from the hot dogs. Deep, savory, slightly malty… it’s like BBQ beans with a secret ingredient.
Ingredients:
1 large can of baked beans
½ cup reserved beer broth from hot dogs (strained)
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp mustard (yellow or Dijon)
Optional: dash of hot sauce or crumbled bacon
Method:
Taste and adjust seasoning — more sugar if you like sweet, hot sauce if you like heat.
Combine beans with broth, sugar, and mustard in a saucepan.
Simmer low and slow (20–30 minutes), stirring occasionally, until thickened and glossy.
👉 Extra Tips:
Flip wedges and hot dogs at halfway for even browning.
If wedges look done before hot dogs, crack the oven door and let them hang on residual heat.
You can reduce a little of the beer/bouillon liquid into a quick dipping sauce (mix in mustard/ketchup) if you want to go wild.
I added the beer/bullion liquid to the baked beans with BBQ sauce… not what ChatGPT suggested.
🫘🫘🫘
Needless to say, I didn’t follow that exactly… but I did toast the buns, & made the dogs to order. Mine had relish, my son’s had fresh jalapeño from the garden, my wife didn’t want cheese, and my daughter didn’t want mustard.
Dunk, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs
I gotta buy some damn corn starch.
Crispy Potato Wedges
I used Yuengling, but I also would use Straub Amber, Penn Pilsner, Lion’s Head, or Smithwick’s. What would you use?
This is mainly a re-post/revision of a Facebook status. I’m still in awe, even a few days later.
You probably read about it, saw it, or heard it in WTAE, WPXI, or KDKA. You may have even seen it somewhere else. This woman (in a feat worthy of “Florida Man”) walked into a Walmart to relieve herself. The problem with that is that she did it not only in the produce section, but on some produce. Potatoes. I personally like my potatoes mashed, not micturated.
I have so many thoughts about this.
The BEST part is that Walmart✻ had to release a statement assuring that they threw out the produce and disinfected the area. I mean, silly of me to assume that would be the case.
I have seen some Walmart bathrooms, and I may have supported this choice in this instance. They also close for “cleaning” often.
She doesn’t remember doing it? How did she find out? Did she see herself on Facebook? Did someone call and tell her? There needs to be a TV show that reenacts such shenanigans. (Sounds like she saw herself on TV. Imagine going to get a haircut, then calling the lawyer, then going to the police. Or maybe the lawyer prompted the haircut?)
How do you overcome “stagefright?” I like to pee alone, not in public.
I want a T-shirt with her picture in the middle of the Walmart star logo with the caption “I put the P in potato!”
Grace Under (Bladder) Pressure
I hope she didn’t drive to or from the Walmart.
I have been drunk, but never blackout drunk. I’m in awe. I wonder if in 2019 she can turn this into becoming a social media celebrity?
I hope she gets whatever ind of help she needs, and I hope no one bought the pee-tatoes unknowingly. Although, they may grow in poop… So, there is that. I would definitely advise her to have a trusted friend or handler with her at all times while drinking. I can’t imagine having to deal with the aftermath.
I remember posting a video on the now-defunct PittsburghBeat.com one time about this naked dude who while high on PCP after running from a stripper’s house ran across the divided highway on Banksville Road and ended up being tasered (again, while naked) by police and taken to the extremely cold ground in the snow. Months or years later, the guy sent an email asking for it to be taken down so he could move on with life. It mentioned but didn’t really threaten legal action. After all, it was a news story I dunno how you could “scrub” it. But, I can see the whole thing not boding well if a prospective employer were to Google you before hiring.
The only other song I remember about pee is an AiXeLsyD one, and I can’t shamelessly self promote something that is probably less embarrassing that peeing on potatoes in Walmart, can they?
Here are potatoes from my garden this year, no one has peed on them:
In parting, I call for your comments. Please share your favorite potato recipes (like this or this), your favorite drinking stories, or your favorite pee/Grace Brown/Walmart/Potatoes jokes.
Insanity. Chaos. Deafening yet hooky melodies. Beer. If these all seem like good things to you, you need to be at this show. Add this to your Google calendar, Yahoo! Calendar, Facebook Events, or whatever you do with Google+ or AOL or MSN or Compuserve or Outlook or whatever you’re using. Tweet about it. Get a car full of idiots and find a non-idiot DD.
Ernie would like to remind you to drink responsibly, tip your bartender, buy some of the various bands’ merchandise, and to wash your hands before returning to work or play.
Get the flyer below tattooed on someone’s ass that you see frequently, so you don’t forget.
While amusing, their bar gig timeline runs completely different from one that I’d put together. I’d like to make my own, maybe a little less jaded. There’s several subsets of bar-gigs, and it depends wholly on the bar, the type of band, and the crowd.
Before I do that, I’d like to see yours.
It doesn’t matter if you’re in a band, just a person who goes to shows… or even the bar, promoter, or the sound guy. I’d like to see the timeline from all parties involved. If your drummer can read, is he tired of the drummer-bashing?
I’m told that means “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or more accurately “Blessings of St. Patrick’s Day upon ye!”. I hope that’s right. Today, we celebrate Irish heritage. How the holiday’s become that, I have no idea. I’d like to share with you some Irish toasts, blessing, song, & food. If you’re not of Irish descent, well… we’ll forgive for just one day. As long as you forgive me for skipping the Guinness and sticking to the Smithwick’s.
Irish toasts & blessings…
A family of Irish birth will argue and fight,
But let a shout come from without and see them all unite.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
An Irishman is never drunk
as long as he can hold on to
one blade of grass and not
fall off the face of the earth.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
Bless your little Irish heart — and every other Irish part.
From the great Gales of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry
And all their songs are sad.
Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend.
The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful.
Here’s to you and yours,
And to mine and ours,
And if mine and ours ever come
Across you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours,
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!
Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here’s to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
I have known many,
and liked not a few,
but loved only one
and this toast is to you.
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May neighbours respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.
May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards us.
May the good saints protect you
And bless you today
And may troubles ignore you
Each step of the way
May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.
May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty.
May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all the Irish angels,
Smile upon you on St. Patrick’s Day.
May the lilt of Irish laughter Lighten every load,
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road,
May you taste the sweetest pleasures That fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road…
And may all your friends remember
All the favours you are owed!
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, “this drink’s on me.”
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.
And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!
May you have food and raiment,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be forty years in heaven
before the devil knows you’re dead.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
the foresight to know where you’re going,
and the insight to know when you’ve gone too far.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.
May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.
May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent.
May you never find trouble
All crowdin’ and shovin’
But always good fortune
All smilin’ and lovin’
May you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
May your home be filled with laughter
May your pockets be filled with gold
And may you have all the happiness
Your Irish heart can hold.
May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
May your troubles be less
And your blessing be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
My friends are the best friends
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
That the tap may be open when it rusts!
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking!
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me. … Slainte!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May the strength of three be in your journey.
May the sound of happy music, And the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.
Here’s to me, and here’s to you,
And here’s to love and laughter-
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head-
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
May you have love that never ends,
lots of money, and lots of friends.
Health be yours, whatever you do,
and may God send many blessings to you!
May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
May you have:
A world of wishes at your command.
God and his angels close to hand.
Friends and family their love impart,
and Irish blessings in your heart!
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.
For each petal on the shamrock.
This brings a wish your way
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
May the embers from the open hearth warm your hands,
May the sun’s rays from the Irish sky warm your face,
May the children’s bright smiles warm your heart,
May the everlasting love I give you warm your soul.
May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks,
May your heart be as light as a song,
May each day bring you bright, happy hours,
That stay with you all the year long.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now,
And bless you evermore.
May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye,
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye,
An long life t’ yer honor-
That’s the end of my song t’ ye!
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do.
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow.
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
May your troubles be less,
And your blessing be more.
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door.
And some Irish song…
This one’s from Seamus Kennedy, you need to check him out if he’s ever on tour in a pub or a festival near you!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
World (and Lunar) Domination 