Anyone remember punk rock compilation CD’s, & their ‘zine/catalogs? I remember lots of ‘zines out there, and still love all the great punk rock that I found through Fat Wreck, Epitaph, Lookout!, Asian Man, Honest Don’s, Drive-Thru, No Idea, Hell Cat & more.
It was fun to be included in stuff like this! (I got some art in the 90’s FIEND CLUB Bleeder’s Die-Gest too!)
I’m building a Bass Case playlist on Amazon Music. I’m looking for songs with a killer bass-only or at least bass-heavy intro. Mostly punk, metal, rock, etc. but open to just about anything. Bass guitar or a bass VI, not electronic bass or keys.
This is the start of it (but not all of it) so far:
Metallica – “(Anesthesia)—Pulling Teeth”
Black Sabbath – “N.I.B.”
Misfits – “London Dungeon”
Type O Negative – “Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)”
Rancid – “Journey to the End of the East Bay”
Alice In Chains – “Would?”
Beastie Boys – “Gratitude”
Queen – “Under Pressure [feat. David Bowie]”
Green Day – “Longview”
Ozzy Osbourne – “No More Tears”
Motörhead – “Ace of Spades”
AFI – “Miss Murder”
Primus – “My Name Is Mud”
The White Stripes – “Seven Nation Army”
Metallica – “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
Beastie Boys – “Sabotage [Explicit]”
Queen – “Another One Bites The Dust”
The Cure – “Just like Heaven”
Guns N’ Roses – “Rocket Queen”
Megadeth – “Peace Sells”
Anthrax – “Got The Time”
The Cure – “Burn”
Operation Ivy – “Sound System”
Jimi Hendrix – “Born Under a Bad Sign”
Black Flag – “Six Pack”
Primus – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver”
Fugazi – “Waiting Room”
Faith No More – “We Care a Lot”
Guns N’ Roses – “You Could Be Mine”
TOOL – “Schism”
The Dead Milkmen – “Bitchin’ Camaro”
Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Higher Ground”
Black Flag – “TV Party”
Violent Femmes – “Blister In The Sun”
Metallica – “Crash Course In Brain Surgery”
NOFX – “The Idiots Are Taking Over”
Faith No More – “Falling to Pieces”
The Breeders – “Cannonball”
Rick James – “Super Freak”
Duran Duran – “Rio”
Jane’s Addiction – “Mountain Song”
The B-52’s – “Rock Lobster”
Rage Against The Machine – “Bombtrack”
A Flock Of Seagulls – “What Am I Supposed To Do”
Weezer – “Only In Dreams”
The Commodores – “Brick House”
Death Cab For Cutie – “I Will Possess Your Heart”
Iron Maiden – “Killers”
Nirvana – “Lounge Act”
Jane’s Addiction – “Three Days”
Van Halen – “Runnin’ with the Devil”
The Cure – “Fascination Street”
The Smithereens – “Blood And Roses”
The Stone Roses – “I Wanna Be Adored”
Metallica – “King Nothing”
The Byrds – “Eight Miles High”
The Stone Roses – “She Bangs the Drums”
The Clash – “The Magnificent Seven”
Lou Reed – “Walk On the Wild Side”
Joe Jackson – “Got The Time”
Stevie Wonder – “I Wish”
War – “Low Rider”
The Jam – “Pretty Green”
The Temptations – “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone”
Sonic Youth – “My Friend Goo”
Pennywise – “Ace of Spades”
The Beatles – “Come Together”
AFI – “Death Of Seasons”
NOFX – “Hobophobic (Scared of Bums)”
Thin Lizzy – “Dancing In The Moonlight (It’s Caught Me In It’s Spotlight)”
The Monkees – “You Just May Be The One”
Metallica – “The God That Failed”
Bad Brains – “The Regulator”
Rancid – “Maxwell Murder”
Deee-Lite – “Groove Is in the Heart”
Talking Heads – “Psycho Killer”
Dead Kennedys – “Viva Las Vegas”
Song name/artist would be more helpful than a Spotify link because I can’t copy/paste from there into Amazon Music.
…and this is subject to change pretty quickly & often.
Every once in a while, I just throw this into the æther just to see if it gets any response. One time, I got to pop up on stage and sing “I Turned Into a Martian” while Jerry Only played bass, sang, & Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein played guitar, & Goat (a.k.a. Eric Acre, a.k.a. “Chupacabra”) played drums. I’d love to find a video of it if it’s out there.
We take for granted that everything is recorded these days, but back then it wasn’t. Misfits bootleg videos were a hot trade commodity at one point online. I’m pretty sure this show was recorded, because Crowbar had closed-circuit TV’s that were displaying the show as it happened. It may have been deleted or not recorded, it may have hit a personal private collection. Someone else may have been in-house recording. Not sure if Doug Evil was there?
Thanks to Misfits Central & Concert Archives, I now have a specific date: Sunday, November 5, 2000. It was at the now-defunct Crowbar in State College, PA.
An-Die & I road-tripped to State College several times with several different groups to see the Misfits in several iterations in addition to seeing them a bunch in Pittsburgh… so my memories may be conflated. I know Russ from TVCasualty.com was there!
I’m pretty sure Murphy’s Law & Impotent Sea Snakes also played. I only remember this because Goat was pulling double duty, and our friend Laurel was apparently hit in the face with an… adult toy… during the ISS set.
I remember An-Die telling me that I had stage presence, and obviously Jerry Only has a huge stage presence, and it did not jive. Ha ha. I’m sure I looked weird, but holy shit it was fun. (I always feel weird signing without a guitar in my hands anyway.)
Another fun fact, this was after I had broken my nose, and i was wearing a bandage covering most of my face. I know I have photos of that somewhere but I cannot find any.
The Misfits – 11/05/2000 lineup @ Crowbar in State College PA | Jerry Only, Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein, Eric Goat/Chupacabra Acre, & some random a-hole.
Oh yeah, I broke my nose stage diving at American Music Café. Who’s set was it? I think it was Third Place, Tybalt, or maybe even Ten Pounds Lighter/Secrets Lie Within. I just remember someone fake kicking me that ended up not being a fake kick, a weird celery crunching noise, and my nose being mostly under one eye. I ought to try to chronicle old show stories some day.
I was the Fiend Club “Chapter Head” for a minute in the late 90’s early 00’s, so I got to see the band when they were in & around town. I think Jerry & Rocky sort-of kind-of knew who I was, but I always tried to not be a pain in the ass & ask for stuff or to get on the Turbo Die or anything. It was a fun time in life.
If you have the video, or have info that could help me track it down, I’d really appreciate it! Feel free to help by sharing this in fan forums & what-not online. We Are 138!
Bert – a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD – rocking the Dewey Decibel FlipOut Lit Cigarette model.
OK. So, you probably know I like weird guitars. Someday I will have profiles up of all of them on another blog. You may have even read about my Dewey Decibel FlipOut before, or have seen the FlipOut before (or even the knock-off Flipped brand). While the Galveston BB Stone certainly started my weird guitar obsession, the FlipOut solidified it. Sadly, I came to it after AiXeLsyD had been done for a while, and I think even after Gasoline Dion. It some incredibly small and ancient circles I will always be known as ERiC AiXeLsyD. I did, get to gig out with the FlipOut, quite a lot, with Ernie and the Berts.
A while back, I had the opportunity to reach out to Jimmie Bruhn about the Indy Custom Flycaster, and way way back I did some research on the BB Stone. (I have to try to recover all the stuff that used to live on SquareGuitar.com, all those links are now dead.)
I thought it would be fun to try and track down Dewey Decibel(a.k.a. Joe Jerardi – or is it Joe Geradri? Stage names are fun.), and get some insight on the inception and production of one of my favorite axes!
After some emails exchanged, here’s the story from the man himself!
Hi Eric,
I’m awfully sorry there was a delay on getting back to you. I honestly have had my hands full this year, and it slipped my mind. Just for your patience, I can offer the most information I’ve shared about my FlipOut days to this point. And thanks for asking.
I was performing solo in NY back in the 90s, playing CBGBs and many of the NY clubs. My stage name was Dewey Decibel, and I always performed hooked up to an IV pole. Just a thing I did – never mentioned it on stage. Played electric guitar, with synth sequencers for backing, plus voice.
One day I thought of this backward guitar – Its just wood I thought – so it would play the same, just super unsettling, and deeply rock and roll to my mind. I found one shop out of all the NY guitar techs who would follow my instruction. It was Rick from Carmine Street Guitars. I love him because he didn’t even blink, just said “sure, I can do that”. I went on to form a band called… Dewey Decibel, and kept doing shows, and finished up my third album “Unnecessarily Beautiful” with those guys, great players Jon Howard, and Martin Miller. We did good work. I always played the original FlipOut, which started its life as a Fernandes brand Strat. I always had the IV drip by my side.
Back cover for the Dewey Decibel album Unnecessarily Beautiful | Original FlipOut prototype of a modified Fernandes Strat copy pictured!
We did no real promotion for the album, for any of my albums, so they reside in resplendent obscurity, rarely to surface.
Here is what exists online, though there are 3+ albums and an EP somewhere:
Dewey Decibel | Unnecessarily Beautiful | Pictured: Martin Miller (Drums) ● Dewey Decibel (Voice/Guitar/Keys) ● John Howard (Bass)
At shows, my guitar got so much crazy attention I conceived of the nutty plan to use a release of these guitars to bring attention to my band. In 2003 I went to the NAMM show on the recommendation of a friend, to look for a manufacturer. There I approached many confused factory reps from Asia, and ended up having luck with a Korean group who were ready to please. I ordered some prototypes during that year, and tweaked things. Then at 2004 NAMM I introduced them to the unsuspecting earthlings, took orders, and started shipping out of San Francisco once the container ship arrived. That first NAMM show was funny funny stupid funny.
Art from the Dewey Decibel website.
The stupid part was that Fender lawyers sent me a letter on the opening day of my NAMM launch that I was in breach of their trademarks. This is a much longer story but I ended up licensing with Fender later, which was great for name dropping and demonstrating to folks that it was a quality guitar.
I was living in a warehouse with boxes of these guitars and my drum set. It was a time of odd existence, taking orders, shipping, doing R&D, and lining up reviews with the big guitar magazines. The FlipOut got strong thumbs up reviews in Guitar Player as well as Guitar One. I did care about the feel of the neck and the pickups. It’s self evident I think when you handle one.
I was moving forward on the BottomOut bass, having received a few prototypes which worked nicely. Even took orders. The problem was that the whole business had me working in too many directions, and exhausted. I’d gone to Europe, and did a bunch of sales, there and in Australia too. I was overworking, and getting wiped out. This was all on my own, and I’d been living with some fantasy that these cool guitars would elevate the music, and demonstrate my sovereign rock and roll whimsy. But alas, the FlipOut project ended at around 500 guitars because I was exhausted, the R&D was too slow, and I couldn’t parlay the thing into working for another manufacturer. I was too much of a lone wolf for them. So I went back to graphic design and animation. I’m an animator today living in incredible San Antonio. I also continue writing and recording a new album, to be released secretly into thrift store bins.
The guitar colors were just my favorites at the time, the names were inspired by memories. Barry Leventhal was I think a kid I played in little league with. Austin really had cabs colored like the guitar.
I’ve seen the FlipOut rip-offs coming from Europe/China, and they look ridiculous, all backward and stuff. Just joking – I guess it was inevitable someone would cash in.
Hey thanks for your interest. Hoping it fills in some detail.
Until now, this is pretty much all that was out there on the FlipOut!
FlipOut models & colors
How cool is that? The entire story from the man himself! I urge you to go check out the music of Dewey Decibel.
The only mods I had done to mine is the inimitable Aaron Hutzel drop in some GFS Lil Killer rails. This was not a kock at all to the original sound, but the humbuckers are more my thing.
Did you see the first post and the last post about the maze mugs? Mike has been doing some fun stuff, and I have (very slowly) been working on mazes for the box. Also, Mike posted some fun stuff:
So, what do you think? Want to see mazes on anything else? Want them solvable? Like that packaging or love it? Check out Mike’s other stuff on Instagram! He has been making some killer skateboard decks and a topical T-shirt.
I won’t get into the COVID-19 / Novel Coronavirus outbreak here, but if you’re bored in quarantine… remember you can do all of my mazes. It’d be cool if you finished one, posted on the social media platform of your choice & tagged me.
I need to put a maze on a guitar. I need to update photos of my collection. I want to catalog them here since the sites I have found to do it don’t really suit my needs. Add that to the endless list of unnecessary projects to be completed “someday.”
Oh man. Does anyone remember my W(aL)D email shenanigans from a decade ago?
One such adventure was writing to Totino’s to ask if they had recommendations for microwaving more than 6 at a time. They wrote back. I asked them if I needed to arrange the rolls like wagon wheel spokes or like wagons on the Oregon Trail circling for protection. I even got some 35¢ coupons that I considered as a research grant.
Have you noticed pizza roll cooking instructions lately?
I won!Information for the people!Research to benefit the masses!
Really though. This brings up a new series of questions.
When did just arranging in “a single layer become” acceptable? Who does Totino’s think they are discarding the time-honored tradition of microwaving things in a circle? Did we learn nothing from our ancestors at Stonehenge? Did they consult the Softstix team over at SuperPretzel, or just roll forward (pun still intended) with wild abandon? How do you summon the flavor spirits without the ceremonial circle?
Has the Fibonacci spiral ever been tested as a cooking pattern? Can Ci3 make me a plate specifically for microwaving pizza rolls and little cheese-filled pretzels with the Fibonacci spiral on it?
So, recently turning 40 has me reflecting on life in general (which is pretty damn great) & on my accomplishments as a “musician” even though I’m not actively gigging right now.
I’m pretty self-deprecating of my musical talents, but I am proud of the major part of the aural art that I helped create. I compiled and uploaded a few of my favorites after using Audacity to clip out some silence and mp3Gain to try to get all the volume levels somewhat similar.
If you’ll indulge me I’d like to give my thoughts & memories on each of these songs that I was proud to be a part of with AiXeLsyD, Gasoline Dion, & Ernie and the Berts. If I have any of the stories, names, etc. wrong, please correct me in the comments. Being that these are punk rock(ish) bands, you may find the content explicit and/or objectionable. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
🎸
Gasoline Dion – “Shameless Plug”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Tommy came up with this cool shuffling progression and I played a super easy solo over it. I believe we kept the first take of the solo even though at the time I thought I could do better. It’s not perfect, but it’s fun. It was cool to open shows with this then rip into something completely different. It was called “Tommy’s Jam” until an inside joke on a local message board inspired the new name.
AiXeLsyD – “Wait”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Probably the first song that I wrote that I liked, and probably the first original that we worked on in the band. We dug on this & recorded it a million times. It morphed a bit, but was basically the same simple jam. Ben doubling the vocals an octave lower and the guitar part at the end really fills it out.
Gasoline Dion – “Pickle Farm”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Tommy had recorded this song solo, and it contributed to the itch that I needed to scratch when we formed Gasoline Dion. I really liked the melody. I think he stole the lyrics from Space Ghost or Brak. This song to me is about not being a square peg that’s forced into a round hole. I liked singing background vocals & playing guitar.
Ernie and the Berts – “Toybox”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Erin wanted to start a band to play rocked-out Willy Wonka covers. That never happened. This did. It was the first original that stuck, and an early recording became the soundtrack to a friend’s video project. Dave learned to play drums in/for this band. This is a nice simple driving groove and is the perfect vehicle for the introduction of Erin’s gnarly gravelly voice.
AiXeLsyD – “Hopeless & Heartless”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | I wrote this on the outside of seeing someone with a broken heart. I thought it was pretty catchy. The “whoa-oh’s” are overkill but oddly necessary in my humble opinion. I think An-Die, Ben, & I are all singing on multiple tracks here.
Gasoline Dion – “Cold”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | This riff was a leftover AiXeLsyD riff that almost became part of two songs but never really went anywhere. Mike had some leftover Who’s.Keeping.Score? lyrics that Dave & I re-arranged. Dave & I work really well on arranging musical parts & lyrics. I really really dig Tommy & I singing together on this one.
Ernie and the Berts – “Fred Rogers”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Erin supposed that a local hero may not really be a hero on this one. Maybe he read that weird urban legend. I really like the guitar part here, although it’s missing some kind of effect in my head. Wah? Phaser? Not sure. Erin let me just go goofy with background vocals here. I felt like Danzig or that Not-Danzig guy in the Cult. I love how this song builds into chaos.
AiXeLsyD – “Stand Up”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | This is where it all pulled together, and it was the last proper thing we recorded. Ha ha. An-Die wrote the riff & lyrics, I arranged them. Ben came up with the guitar noodling& octaves riff. I think I came up with the stupid guitar part for the verse. I really dig my guitar solo here,even though I went too long. (Oddly, this sounds a lot like “Anything, Anything (I’ll Give You)” by Dramarama as played by Buckcherry.)
Gasoline Dion – “Political Songs (With Deep Meaning)”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | I was listening to a lot of the Unseen, I think. I don’t really write political stuff that often. This was taking the piss out of that genre. Dave sounded better on it with vocals. I scream “feet” in the background and give the creepy laugh at the end. We lost the original lyrics, so Dave used what he remembered and made the rest up on the fly. I don’t really think any one ever tried to intemperate a deeper meaning. If they did, they didn’t tell us.
Ernie and the Berts – “Don’t Fuck With Ernie”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | It was hard to tell if Erin was serious or joking a lot of the time. He had a deadpan delivery, and it was hilarious. To deliver this ridiculousness so seriously is hilarious to me. I think I sort of came up with this riff over top of his bass line.
AiXeLsyD – “Dave Ugly’s Girlfriend”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | It’s “Dave Ugly’s Girlfriend”, not “Dave’s Ugly Girlfriend.” People always seemed to get that wrong. Dave Ugly played bass & sang for one of our favorite local bands, Useless Torment. I don’t tell the story as well as An-Die, but Dave was apparently saying he loved him, and An-Die was playing the “even if…” game, and arrived at this. I remember being “mad” when Sum 41 came out as a punk band rapping. I think Boner played guitar on this one and Ben played Drums?
Gasoline Dion – “Bitch Pants Opera”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | I don’t know if we could do this one today. People seem so easily offended. It’s just a joke. We don’t really care if you wear girl pants. We’re not insinuating or implying anything. We look ridiculous too. Another Dave vocals song, I am screaming the high parts. All of us are in the beginning. I think the breakdown was inspired by hardcore /screamo kids in skinny jeans doing the windmill and Peelander-Z’s “S.T.E.A.K.”
Ernie and the Berts – “Ikea”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Dave suggested I try a little more dynamics with space and clean. Dave is usually right. You can do a lot with the same 3 chords over & over. This was a slice of Erin’s life, full of his observations. We almost got permission to go in & shoot a video there. Somebody must have really listened to the lyrics. He had “nicer” ones prepared just in case we needed to sell out.
AiXeLsyD – “Love, Hopes, Dreams, & Smiles”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] |I think An-Die hated this one. I liked the noodling& the melody. The lyrics are super dumb & trite. The song was made infinitely cooler when Ben put in that volume swell in the final mix. That was never there, then we started doing it live after he did that to the recording. This could probably be punched-up a little bit more.
Gasoline Dion – “Two of a Kind”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Tommy sings like an angel. I have no idea what in the hell he’s talking about here. I think Dave & Mike made this honky-tonk-ish. I played a little solo under Tommy’s vocals at the end because nobody ever told me not to. The end sounds like the Misfits’ “NY Ranger.”
Ernie and the Berts – “I Don’t Wanna”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Erin stole this one from a band called Suck-Your-Brains-A-Go-Go. I don’t know if they ever recorded it. I should ask the man who wrote it some time. We made it ours. I think Bengt punched-up some of the guitar & added a bit of harmonies during the recording process.
Gasoline Dion – “Shameless Plug (Reprise)”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Same thing as the first track, second solo take by me with a wah pedal this time. Dave is also on guitar making crazy noises and soloing in between all of my notes. Ha ha. If you don’t “get” the speaking part, watch the Josie and the Pussycats movie some time.
I’d love to know what you think, or to read/see/hear your own memories about these bands or in any bands or projects in which you have participated. Did I miss a song or two that you may have remembered or liked? Comments (or likes or whatever is deemed social-media-appropriate) on the songs on SoundCloud or YouTube would be awesome and greatly appreciated, too.
I think you should be able to download a zip of the collection on Google Drive or SendSpace if you’re so inclined. If you can’t get it there, let me know and I can email it to you.
So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…
Dancing E.
☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
☑ Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ Stage-diving.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.) ☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers in Airheads.)
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.) ☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide. ☑ The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.
I know there are more. I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me. I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments! This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.
What’s your favorite to do? What’s your favorite to watch? What have you copied? What have you invented? What did I miss on this list? Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!
Now, for the self-indulgence:
Listen to that sustain
Behind the Dome (Again)
Sweep the leg.
The Digleberry?
Dead
The Choreographed Lean
Through the legs!
I’m Broken
Like a turtle
The Showoff
On yo’ knees.
En garde!
Duel of the fates
Turducken Walk
Lean back ’til you can’t no mo’
Jump!
Dancin’!
Wireless Table Dance
Under the nuts.
The choad-tickler.
Push n’ shove
Lean on me
Behind the dome.
The campfire solo
The other choreographed lean
The Air-Hump
Dance with the crowd!
BEER!
Three Axe Salute
Attention, bear-f__ker, do you require assistance?
Looking at my WordPress stats, I found a really weird day on Feb. 27th, apparently Yahoo! Image Search was inundated with the word “maze” that day. Check out all these crazy hits, click on the image to the left for the full size.
It’s happening again. I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet. At least I hope that’s the problem. It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem. They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s. I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me. Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?
Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today. The culprits are most likely…
mcdonalds.customercare@us.mcd.com (3 searches)
ella.jones@us.mcd.com (1 search)
mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)
As you’re reading this, can you say it with me? Seriously, out loud. Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy. Take a deep breath. Say it with me:
Eric Carroll(a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño)is not McDonald’s. He does not work for McDonald’s. Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.comwill not reach McDonald’s. If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.
I may have to put that on my contact page. I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.
If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it. But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website. This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer. This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee. I’ll share it with you…
From: Jane Farrell <janef@malachymechanical.com> To: █████████████@█████.com Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Jane Farrell Email:janef@malachymechanical.com Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y. We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.
Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical How’d you find my blog?:
Time: Wednesday May 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm IP Address: ##.###.###.## Contact Form URL:https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.
Insanity. I had to write back, didn’t I? Yes. Yes, I did. I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> To: janef@malachymechanical.com Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; info@mcdonalds.com; ny.14518@us.stores.mcd.com; mcd.14518@us.stores.mcd.com Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]
Hello Jane,
Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier. I am not McDonald’s. I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them. For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s. I assure you, I am not McDonald’s. I don’t work for McDonald’s. I don’t represent McDonald’s. I can’t speak for McDonald’s. I certainly can’t pay their bills. I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds. I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own. If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts. They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.
I AM NOT McDONALD’S– Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s. This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
I’m still not McDonald’s.– I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s. Harmony remains unconvinced. I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not. Mr. Kausky calms down. I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı– Really. I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband. They never responded after this. Perhaps they finally got the message? I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.
I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart. Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?
Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment. I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website. Let us go through them together:
Perhaps you should reply to the email Ref#8770056. I don’t know what the reply-to address is, because I am not McDonald’s. I didn’t have anything to do with receiving or generating anything in that email chain. Instead of replying to this email, you used my contact form.
http://www.mcnewyork.com/14518 Is their page, it has limited contact information, no contact form or email address. You can call them at (718) 824-4123 but I suppose that you have already tried that. You could use their Apply Online form to apply for a job & try to collect once you go in for an interview.
I see from your email address that you work at Malachy Mechanical, perhaps you have some rather large intimidating men that work for you? You could send them over with large wrenches to look intimidating & collect payment. The address is 1101 East Tremont Avenue, Bronx, NY 10460 and they have terrible reviews on Google.
You could try the people I’ve dealt with, but it may anger them. I’ll let you dig their contact information out of my blog posts if that’s the route you’re going to take.
I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s). Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger! Have a nice day.
World (and Lunar) Domination 
