Tag Archives: Food

I like it. I write about it. I eat too much of it.

Playlist | Fast Food Punk Tunes

Posted on by Standard 2

This is another punk-rock leaning short one. “Bloodbath at Burger King” is an absolute gem, as are many others here. This is what I have so far:

  • Screeching Weasel – “I Saw The Devil At McDonalds (Demo)”
  • Teenage Bottlerocket – “Blood Bath At Burger King”
  • The Berlin Project – “Taco Bell World”
  • Gas Station Boner Pills – “Fist Fight at the Waffle House”
  • Richies – “Le Big Mac”
  • Indigo Girls – “Dairy Queen”
  • The Knuckleheadz – “Fuck McDz”
  • Teenage Bottlerocket – “Too Much La Collina”
  • Wesley Willis – “Rock ‘N Roll McDonald’s”
  • The Smithereens – “White Castle Blues”
  • Boris the Sprinkler – “Don’t Really Want To Walk To Taco Bell Without You”
  • Silly Stu – “McDonald’s in the Pentagon”
  • Motorpsychos – “Fries With That”
  • The Aquabats! – “Burger Rain!”
  • Parry Gripp – “Raining Tacos”

What am I missing? Are there punk-leaning songs about Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, KFC, Raising Cane’s, or Chick-fil-A? Panera? Jersey Mike’s, Jimmy John’s, Subway, Quizno’s, Vocelli Pizza, Papa John’s, or Domino’s? What about Hardee’s, Carl’s Jr., Checker’s, Rally’s, Five Guy’s, In & Out, Krystal, Jack-in-the-Box, Rax, Arby’s, or Auntie Anne’s? I’ll even take Eat’n Park or Denny’s.

I have the current list up on Amazon Music & Spotify.

Playlist | Fast Food
Playlist | Fast Food

๐Ÿ”๐ŸŒฎ

I wish I could include the great Wat Tyler track “There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Satan.” It doesn’t appear to be available for streaming. I may have to settle for adding the original.

Holy cow, reddit’s r/punk and Facebook’s Oddly Specific Playlists stepped up with some killer suggestions! The list is currently at 85 tracks. Some fit more loosely than others… but close enough counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and punk rock.

Also, I need to figure out the right plugin to let me embed Amazon playlists here.

๐ŸŒญ Dunked, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs & Potato Wedges ๐Ÿฅ”

Posted on by Standard Reply

There are way too many ways to cook a hot dog. Not long ago, if you suggested I boil some… I would politely have found the quickest way out of that conversation. This time I simmered the dogs in beer, then popped them in the oven on the air-fryer setting.

I blogged about cooking hot dogs in 2010 when I asked how you do it, & later listed a bunch of different ways, and I like to slip them in on the New Year’s Pork n’ Sauerkraut. 2010? Hell, it only took me 15 years to get around to suggestion #3. Were air-fryers popular back then? I think it was just countertop grills.

Then again, sometimes I get weird ideas that won’t go away until they come to fruition. Hot dogs aren’t my favorite food, but they’re fun to make different every time. If not grilling, I like to cook them in the oven, especially when cooking dinner for the family & wanting a whole pack cooked at once. This time I did something different.

Lager-Simmered Air Fried Criss-Cross Cut Hot Dogs & Crispy Potato Wedges!

Man, I miss the legendary Dormont Dogs.

After you read this recipe, tell me what you’d do different, or what you like on your dogs! Oh yeah. sides too. I wanted to use corn starch on the potato wedges, but I was out, so flour it was. It crisped them up just enough to keep it interesting. I was heavy on the black pepper, so they had a bite.

Oh yeah, I cracked open a can of baked beans too.

I used ChatGPT to sort of bounce ideas around, and it helped me make a plan.

๐ŸŒญ๐ŸŒญ๐ŸŒญ

Wieners, โ€™Taters & Beans (Oh My!)

๐Ÿฅ” Potato Wedges

  1. Prep
    • Cut potatoes into wedges, about ยฝ” thick at the skin edge.
    • Soak in cold water 30 minutes (this pulls starch so they crisp better).
    • Drain, blot very dry. Moisture = soggy wedges.
    • Toss in a bowl with:
      • 1โ€“2 Tbsp cornstarch
      • 2 Tbsp oil (olive, canola, or peanut)
      • Seasonings: paprika, garlic/onion powder, salt, pepper, maybe cayenne or smoked paprika for punch.
  2. Cook
    • Oven air fry or convection at 425ยฐF (both will crisp better than standard bake).
    • Spread on parchment-lined sheet, not touching.
    • Cook 25โ€“30 min, flipping halfway.

๐ŸŒญ Hot Dogs

  1. Parboil
    • In a small pot, add:
      • 1 bottle/can Yuengling
      • 1 beef bouillon cube
      • ยฝ tsp onion powder
      • ยฝ tsp minced garlic
      • ยผ tsp ground mustard (optional, but yes itโ€™ll add a tangy depth)
    • Bring to a gentle simmer. Drop in hot dogs, simmer 5โ€“6 min (donโ€™t boil hard).
  2. Finish in Oven
    • After parboil, move hot dogs to a rack or foil-lined pan.
    • Toss them in the oven (same rack as potatoes if you can) for 8โ€“10 min at 425ยฐF (air fry/convection), flipping once, so skins blister and caramelize a little.

๐Ÿฅ– Buns + Cheese

  1. At the last 2โ€“3 min of hot dog oven time, open buns, lay on pan.
  2. Add cheese slices. Toast until buns are warm and cheese is gooey.

๐Ÿ”„ Timing Plan

  1. Start soaking potatoes โ†’ 30 min.
  2. Preheat oven to 425ยฐF (air fry/convection).
  3. While soaking, prep hot dog beer bath.
  4. Drain & coat potatoes. Get them in oven first (they take longest).
    • Timer: 25โ€“30 min.
  5. While wedges cook, simmer hot dogs in beer bath (~5โ€“6 min).
  6. About halfway into potato time (15 min mark), move hot dogs to oven on pan/rack.
    • Theyโ€™ll need ~8โ€“10 min to finish, which lines up with potatoes finishing.
  7. Last 2โ€“3 min: add buns + cheese.

Everything should hit the plate hot at the same time.

๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿซ˜๐Ÿฅ”

๐Ÿซ˜ Drunken Baked Beans

A simple can of beans made rich with the leftover beer broth from the hot dogs. Deep, savory, slightly maltyโ€ฆ itโ€™s like BBQ beans with a secret ingredient.

Ingredients:

  • 1 large can of baked beans
  • ยฝ cup reserved beer broth from hot dogs (strained)
  • 1 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 tsp mustard (yellow or Dijon)
  • Optional: dash of hot sauce or crumbled bacon

Method:

Taste and adjust seasoning โ€” more sugar if you like sweet, hot sauce if you like heat.

Combine beans with broth, sugar, and mustard in a saucepan.

Simmer low and slow (20โ€“30 minutes), stirring occasionally, until thickened and glossy.

๐Ÿ‘‰ Extra Tips:

  • Flip wedges and hot dogs at halfway for even browning.
  • If wedges look done before hot dogs, crack the oven door and let them hang on residual heat.
  • You can reduce a little of the beer/bouillon liquid into a quick dipping sauce (mix in mustard/ketchup) if you want to go wild.
  • I added the beer/bullion liquid to the baked beans with BBQ sauce… not what ChatGPT suggested.

๐Ÿซ˜๐Ÿซ˜๐Ÿซ˜

Needless to say, I didn’t follow that exactly… but I did toast the buns, & made the dogs to order. Mine had relish, my son’s had fresh jalapeรฑo from the garden, my wife didn’t want cheese, and my daughter didn’t want mustard.

Dunk, Drunk, n' Dried Dogs
Dunk, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs

I gotta buy some damn corn starch.

Crispy Potato Wedges
Crispy Potato Wedges

I used Yuengling, but I also would use Straub Amber, Penn Pilsner, Lion’s Head, or Smithwick’s. What would you use?

If you do make this, you gotta crank some punk rock Dad Shit. (The Amazon Playlist has more than Spotify.)

Beer Cheese Bread & Beer Cheese Dip! ๐Ÿป๐Ÿง€๐Ÿž

Posted on by Standard 4

Apparently beer & cheese have been on my mind lately. I saw a post by @swampmuse on threads of some cheesy beer bread and it looked awesome. She was cool enough to share her recipe. That got me thinking about beer cheese dip because of the shared ingredients. I was in a cooking mood last night. I’ll definitely be making the bread again, and the cheese dip would be great for pretzels… so maybe new years or a cold October night?

They were good together. I wonder if beer cheese bread in beer cheese dip is meta, or merely going hard?

Cheesy Beer Bread & Beer Cheese Dip on a white plate.

I hardly drink any more, and the big bird was out of Yuengling bottle six packs & only had Straub Amber can 15 packs… so, I ended up with 2 big-ass 24 oz. cans of Yuengling Traditional Lager.

Cheesy Beer Bread (recipe by @swampmuse) ๐Ÿง€๐Ÿบ๐Ÿž

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of flour
  • 1 cup of shredded cheese
  • 2 Tablespoons of sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon of baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Parsley to desired taste
  • 1 can of beer (12 oz. or 1ยฝ cups)
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter for the top later.

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350ยฐF.
  2. Mix all ingredients gently.
  3. Bake for 45-50 minutes.
  4. Brush additional melted butter on top @ 35 minutes.

Notes: I’m a dumbass, I left all the butter for the end when I should have mixed it in. Next time! I may have went heavy on my pinch of salt, too. I did brush all the butter on at 35 minutes, & it went for another 15 minutes, & was perfect. I think I will also sprinkle some additional shredded cheese on the top at the 35 min. mark… because, I mean… why not?

This would be great with a hearty soup. Broccoli Cheese Soup, Potato Soup, Chili, or Nine Can Vegetable Soup perhaps? Or a nice meatloaf. (Or a crazy meatloaf.)

My 10 year old said he “thought it was going to be gross because it looked all bumpy” but was an immediate fan upon tasting.

Cheesy Bear Bread - in a glass loaf pan on a stove top that needs cleaned.
Cheesy Bear Bread - a slice on a plate

Thank you so much to @swampmuse for the original post, the inspiration, and the recipe!

Beer Cheese Dip ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿง€

I had this on my mind, looked at a bunch or recipes online, and just winged it.

Ingredients:

  • 1 16 oz. block of Velveeta
  • 1 8 oz. block of cream cheese
  • 1 cup beer
  • 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
  • 1 cup shredded Gouda
  • ground mustard to taste
  • white pepper to taste
  • yellow mustard to taste

Instructions:

  1. Cube up the Velveeta & cream cheese, put it in a crock pot on high.
  2. Toss on the mustard powder & white pepper to taste, add a dollop of yellow mustard.
  3. Stir it every 10 min. or so until it’s melty.
  4. Add in the beer, stir.
  5. Add in the shredded cheese, stir.
  6. Stir.
  7. Be incredibly patient.
  8. Stir.

Notes: It takes longer than you think & looks weird until it hits that “just right” point. This is probably a different time estimate for every appliance. You could obviously do this in a sauce pan or double boiler if that’s what you’ve got. The mustard is an emulsifier and helps with smoothness. I picked white pepper over garlic or hot sauce as other recipes noted. I also skipped Worcestershire sauce as some recommended as it can contain anchovies, and weirdly anchovies can trigger shellfish allergies. Dropping some jalapeรฑo or poblano from the garden into this also would have been pretty killer.

If I ever make pretzel bites again, this is a must.

Beer Cheese Dip - gooey melty goodness too close for comfort.
BEER & the Star Wars Mini Crock Pot

Overall, these recipes are just a guide, and you can go all anarchy on them. What kind of beer do you like to cook with? What kind of cheese or spices would you add or swap out for? And, what would you dip in it? Would you did the cheesy beer bread in the beer cheese dip? Got any recommendations on either recipe?

๐Ÿป๐Ÿง€๐Ÿบ๐Ÿž๐Ÿป

While you’re making or eating these, consider rocking out to these playlists…

I was jamming out to this one.

Zucchini Two Ways

Posted on by Standard 1

Like everyone who has a vegetable garden, or even just one potted plant, we have an abundance of zucchini. I was asking AI language models for casserole cooking times & temperatures based on what I had around & could easily grab from the store, and I sort of picked a hybrid of all of them. I used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, & CoPilot. Originally I had been asking about zucchini bread recipes, then asked about the casserole. It is interesting to bounce ideas off of them.

Zucchini Casserole & Pizza-ish Zucchini Things on a white plate.
“Zucchini!” (But, say it like a Jawa yelling “Utini!” in Star Wars.)

I had the idea for the lil’ zucchini things last time I made breaded zucchini & ran out of breadcrumbs before zucchini.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I hesitate to call this a casserole, because the kids are on a brainrot social media kick where they have been informed somehow that CrockโฌฉPot meals & casseroles are bad. The best part is they both ate & loved it… one even went back for more. It was a hit with the wife too, and I’d eat it again.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini - the top of a casserole dish just out of the oven, with a nice brown crispy breadcrumb topping over gooey melted cheese.
Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I felt like making a casserole, but not making a mess by pre-cooking/par-cooking or measuring anything. So… I ended up making two 9″x13″ casseroles. Here it is to the best of my memory.

The ingredients:

  • 1 ridiculously large zucchini from the garden.
  • 1 Spanish onion
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 pack (1ยฝ lbs.) of chicken breasts
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 (16 oz./1 lb.) box of Ditalini pasta
  • 1 (15.5 oz.) can of garbanzo beans
  • 2 (8 oz.) blocks of cream cheese, softened (Leave it out for a bit, nuke it, or cradle it in your armpits.)
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of shredded white cheddar cheese
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of Havarti cheese
  • 1 (1ยฝ cup) bag of Gouda cheese (Same damn size bag – thanks, shrinkflation!)
  • 1 (32 oz./4 cups) box of chicken stock
  • 1 stick (4 oz./ยฝ cup) butter.
  • Breadcrumbs – Maybe 3 cups?
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic from a jar because elicits unwarranted hate.
  • Seasonings to taste – I used Rotisserie Chicken seasoning, Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend, Black Pepper, White Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Paprika, & dried parsley. Ain’t nobody measuring all that.

I was going to include some “bacon pieces,” but I must have left them in the store, or they fell out in the car, or I put them in a weird place or threw them out, because they absolutely are in what may as well be a pocket dimension.

The Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375ยฐ
  2. Grease apparently two 9″x13″ glass baking dishes with a stick of butter.
  3. Get two mixing bowls. In one, whisk the egg, then fold in the cream cheese, the chicken stock, the garlic, the (drained) chickpeas, about half of each of the shredded cheeses, the dry Ditalini, and spices in one mixing bowl.
  4. Slice up the bell pepper, onion, zucchini, & chicken in consistently sized cubes. (If you left the zucchini in the garden too long like I did, cut out the spongy center.) Put all that in the other mixing bowl, toss it with some more of all the spices.
  5. Mix the contents of the two bowls together as you string together new swear words and wish you have an even more ridiculously larger mixing bowl.
  6. Put those into the baking dishes. Or one big one, or a casserole dish, or whatever you’ve got. Cover with foil, place in oven, & bake for 45 min.
  7. Melt the remainder of the stick of butter in a microwave safe bowl. Or a microwave unsafe bowl if you’re an agent of chaos. Dump in some breadcrumbs and toss them in the butter, so the breadcrumbs are coated but not all gross. I used a mix of panko & regular. I did not measure.
  8. Pull from the oven, but leave it on, remove foil.
  9. Spread the remaining shredded cheese on the top of the casseroles, then the buttery breadcrumbs… and put it back in the oven. I swapped it to 350ยฐ on a convection setting at this point for 15 minutes… but you do you.

Notes:

  • YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRE-COOK THE CHICKEN, PASTA, OR VEGETABLES. You certainly can, and it may deepen the flavors and reduce baking time, but I wanted to do this all in one go. I checked the chicken in a few sports with an instant-read and it was a bit over the USDA recommended 165ยฐ.
  • I was going to mix the cheeses together at the end, but why dirty another bowl? I dumped them on almost somewhat evenly.
  • Obviously, cut out what you don’t like, add what you do, skip stuff, or add stuff.
  • I may try this again with bacon or ham… but there was a good bit of salt in all the cheeses already, and probably the chickpeas.
  • I may try this with shredded zucchini and maybe leaving the chicken breast cutlets whole on top. Maybe.
  • Ricotta instead of cream cheese may be good too.
  • Use chicken broth, bone broth, vegetable broth, milk, water, or whatever… just give the pasta enough liquid to absorb.

Pizzucchini Teeny Mini

Again, this was a quick idea I had last tame I made air-fried breaded zucchini and ran out of bread crumbs because the zucchini multiplies as I sliced it. I did it in the oven quick after I yanked out the “let’s not call this casserole a casserole.”

Melted cheese, some toasted breadcrumbs, & pizza sauce over a round slice of zucchini.
Pizzuchini Teeny Mini

Ingredients:

  • 1 normal-sized zucchini.
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of “pizza cheese”
  • 1 (15 oz.) squeeze bottle of pizza sauce
  • a bit of EVOO
  • Maybe ยฝ cup of breadcrumbs

The Method:

  1. Do you really need instructions here? I put the oven on 400ยฐ on the air-fryer setting. I didn’t pre-heat it because it was already running.
  2. I sliced the zucchini about ยผ-inch thick, and put it on the baking sheet over a bit of EVOO.
  3. I dropped on some sauce, some cheese, and a tiny bit of breadcrumbs.
  4. I put it the oven for 15 minutes.

Notes:

  • What the hell is “pizza cheese?” It said that on the bag. I guess mozzarella & provolone? Please tell me in the comments that it is all plastic & slowly killing me. Maybe I should have read the bag.
  • I will probably skip the EVOO or get a cooking rack for the air fryer setting.

~๐Ÿง€~

OK, so that’s it. Hit me up with suggestions, questions, love, or hate in the comments! Share your zucchini recipes, too!

Yinz like weird playlists?

Posted on by Standard Reply

I have been making goofy ones lately.

The latest one is Contradictions / Companions and it’s made up of songs that contradict or compliment each other. I mainly listen to Amazon Music, but this one was fun so I copied it to Spotify too.

Contradictions / Companions | Amazon Music

Contradictions / Companions | Spotify

I have a bunch more weird ones. Sometimes I reach out to Oddly Specific Playlists on Facebook or r/punk for help. Some have a specific order, some are designed for chaos goblins who always choose random.

Here’s some fun ones if you listen to Amazon, let me know if you want me to copy them to Spotify! (I usually do that with Tune My Music):

And there are plenty more weird ones. Lemme know if you check one out and think I’m missing some good obvious tracks that fit!

Wendy’s Forgot How to Melt Cheese ๐Ÿคท

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.

I forgot that I blogged about Wendy’s not that long ago by sharing a pair of glorious Google Maps reviews. I guess I blogged about them way back in 2009 too. They never replied, apparently. Maybe I pick on them too much? Like this fork fail in 2012!

Sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t… but the mazes are fun. Aren’t they? (I’m looking at you Pizza Hut! Yes, you! I saw that dirty delete. But you too, La Choy, Pepperidge Farm, Aldi, & The Potato Conglomerate!)

I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.

Wendy's Maze - They Need Help Melting Cheese

This is what I wrote…

From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11โ€ฏPM
Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA)
To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com>
Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,

I write to you today with great concern.  Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles.  The dining room is not clean.  There are no baked potatoes about โ…“ of the time when I try to order them.  Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive.  Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater. 

We should have ordered in the app.  That was my first mistake.  We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato.  After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes.  A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier  laughed, looked at  me and repeated the rather rude “NO!”  Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea.  Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.

My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single.  The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored.  In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper.  The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier.  This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID.  Who the hell pays in cash?

I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us.  I mean, at this point who is robbing who?  If necessary, I will send a check to make it right.  Do people still use checks?  Maybe I can Venmo you.

Let me add some more context.  We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries.  I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal.  Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup.  Both pumps were empty.  There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue.  I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home.  My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets.  For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream.  I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there.  I commend your commitment to quality.

Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past.  I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days.  What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw?  Cheese.

That’s right, cheese.  How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted?  American cheese too!  If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt.  I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point.  But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese?  Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill?  Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam?  Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact?  Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).

I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers?  It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.  

Also, are you OK?  How is this permissible or even passable?  Is no one from corporate checking on these locations?  Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program?  If there is, are these standards being met?  If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken.  It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare.  I am not looking for free food.  I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.

I have attached a maze for you.  It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation.  Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track.  Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine?  I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper.  It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality.  The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese.  I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings.  They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container.  I miss those days.  Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?

I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers.  ๐Ÿคฏ  What happened?  I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar.  How did we come to this?

I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far.  I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.

Inquisitively.

-Eric

—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

This is what I got back:

From:ย Wendy’s Customer Careย <customercare@wendys.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21โ€ฏPM
Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ]
To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>

Dear Eric,

Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.

At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.

The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.

We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendyโ€™s App, tap the โ€˜Offersโ€™ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!

Regards,

The Wendy’s Company

And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.

I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:

From:ย Moundsville 391ย <moundsville00391@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15โ€ฏAM
Subject: Following Up
To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>

Hello Eric, 

My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal. 

Best Regards,

Ryder

I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and ๐• Twitter accounts. ๐Ÿคฃ No response from FB Messenger, either.

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

I may have to move to snail mail.

Have any advice or similar experience?

Oh, I almost forgot. How are they going to make a burger with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns if they can’t melt cheese? This is absolute shenanigans.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes

Posted on by Standard 2
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

Well then, it’s finally here. I finished maze book number two! This one is better than the last one, I promise. The first was sort of a test run just to see how Amazon KDP works. I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone that bought that book, but this one just objectively looks better and much more time was put into its creation. It ought to be much more challenging and enjoyable, IMHO.

It’s called You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes. Thanks to @brain.d.37 on Threads for suggesting the title!

This book a collection of a bunch more larger mazes, and a few small ones that I have been drawing since late 2023. There’s no common theme other than most of the mazes have a silly vibe. A few have no vibe at all. There’s aliens, rodents, yard work, holiday stuff, rock n’ roll, a treasure map, food, retail aversion, gross stuff, & more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

I hope you consider picking up a copy for yourself, & maybe even one for a friend? If not, just sharing the link to someone who you think may enjoy it, or just sharing it in general would be awesome.

The link is https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9Y7SFXS and I’d love if you could share it, review it, favorite it or save it to a list… anything to help even if you’re not interested in a purchase. You could give me a good (or terrible) review or add it to your list on GoodReads too, if that’s your thing.

I had fun making a collage with punk ‘zine vibes for the cover. I busted out the mixed media, printed on weird paper, got two cutting, ripping, & coffee staining… and unearthed the leopard & cheetah print tape.

All of the mazes were hand-drawn, scanned in, edited (& “solved”) in paint.NET, & put together with Open Office. I haven’t stepped into the world of digital drawing yet, and I like my free programs. Someday, I’ll probably dive into GIMP a little more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Full Front & Back Cover)

I love drawing the mazes, and it’s a great creative outlet like blogging or making music or playing out live. I’m sitting on a pile of old ones that I can convert into a book… but I need to make sure they’re all solvable and do the solutions.

Find the tone! Guitar amp stack maze collage.

Some are too big to fit on my scanner, and scanning with my phone has less than desirable results… so I’m gonna have to go somewhere like a FedEx Office store and hope they can help before they all disappear. I have a problem picking up any notebook that catches my eye and is the right price, regardless of size & paper type. I like the feel & the calming of pen on paper.

Some of the ones that I have posted here in writing goofy emails/letters to companies probably can’t be included because of copyrights or trademarks when I include their products. (Unless La Choy/Conagra, Pizza Hut, Sheetz, Dollar Shave Club, Pepperidge Farm, Disney/Lucasfilm & more sign off on it, or it falls under fair use? I guess I could have included this one or these two.)

I guess I did figure this whole thing out.

Because I have been excited about this, and I made a small collage with leftover bits, I popped up some new merch designs in my TeePublic & RedBubble stores with that new collage & the book cover images. I do have some older designs there with a few of the mazes that are featured in this book too. If you have an account & follow me on either of those sites, it may help my stuff get seen a bit more. I’d appreciate any form of liking/sharing/tagging if you’re so inclined!

TeePublic "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13
RedBubble "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13

In fact, check out all these designs from or inspired by the book, you can get them on all kinds of merch at each store! (I ordered a sticker, a magnet, a coffee cup, & a hoodie so I’m already in the hole.)

Cover & Collage Designs:

Mazes featured in the book:

So, what do you think? Any of it catch your idea? Any ideas for maze merch? Think you’ll pick up a copy?

If you happen to get something, post a photo or video of yourself with it, & tag me on social media! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

Biscuit Dough Pretzel …Blobs?

Posted on by Standard 5

The algorithm wanted me to try the canned biscuit dough pretzel bites. It kept coming up. I kept clicking. I posted about it on social media asking questions. I looked at recipes online. They all had different methods! Are these people even trying their own recipes? They’re wildly different.

As far as my pretzel tastes: I like Auntie Anne’s the best, SuperPretzel is the gold standard, and Philly Pretzel Factory is passable.

A table laying out the different methods of prepping pretzel bites with egg wash, butter, boiling in baking soda, or just a baking soda bath.
Crazy Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blob Table

I decided to try some different methods, & bounce it off of AI to get a cooking time/temp. I put the following into Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity:

Hello.  I have seen many recipes for pretzel bites made from pre-made canned biscuit dough online.  There are so many variations, I was wondering if you could recommend one singular method as to time and temperature.  I would like to bake them in the oven.  My oven has traditional, convection, and air fry settings.  Can you suggest a time, temperature, and setting?

Also, I am having trouble deciding if boiling in baking soda water, or just coating in baking soda water is the way to go.  Also, what is the best ratio of water to baking soda?

And, I hear egg wash and just a melted butter wash are good ways to coat them before baking.  Would you use the whole egg, or just the whites or yolks?  Can you do both?

I am tempted to bake pretzels in 4 quadrants, one quarter each of them in the following combos;

  • Boiled in baking soda water / Egg wash.
  • Boiled in baking soda water / Melted butter.
  • Coated in baking soda water / Egg wash
  • Coated in baking soda water / Melted butter

Do you think that would solve most of my questions?  Can you put together the baking time & temp, and baking soda solution measurements and boiling or coating times?

Here’s what they said:

Here's a breakdown of how to make delicious pretzel bites from biscuit dough: 1. Baking Soda Solution: Water: 8 cups Baking Soda: 1/2 cup 2. Boiling vs. Coating: Boiling: Bring the baking soda solution to a rolling boil in a large pot. Carefully drop in a few pretzel bites at a time for 30 seconds. Use a slotted spoon to remove them and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Coating: In a shallow dish, combine the baking soda and water. Dip each pretzel bite into the solution to coat completely. Let excess drip off before placing them on the prepared baking sheet. 3. Egg Wash vs. Butter Wash: Egg Wash: Whisk together 1 large egg with 1 tablespoon of water. Brush generously over the pretzel bites. Butter Wash: Melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Brush evenly over the pretzel bites. 4. Baking: Oven Setting: Convection Bake is generally recommended for even cooking. Temperature: 400ยฐF (200ยฐC) Time: 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. 5. Your 4-Quadrant Experiment: Your idea of baking four batches with different combinations is a fantastic way to compare and find your favorite! Here's a summary: Quadrant 1: Boiled in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 2: Boiled in baking soda water + Melted butter Quadrant 3: Coated in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 4: Coated in baking soda water + Melted butter Tips & Considerations: Biscuit Dough: Use your favorite brand or make your own! Shape: You can shape the biscuit dough into balls, twists, or any other desired shape. Salt: Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing with the egg or butter wash. Cooling: Let the pretzel bites cool on a wire rack before serving. Enjoy your homemade pretzel bites! I hope this comprehensive guide helps you create the perfect batch. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Gemini’s Answer
Youโ€™ve got a great experiment in mind! Letโ€™s break this down and get you set up for pretzel bite perfection. Here's a streamlined approach to your method and testing: Baking Instructions Preheat oven: Convection setting: 400ยฐF (best for even browning and crispiness). Traditional oven: 425ยฐF (slightly higher temp compensates for lack of air circulation). Baking time: 8โ€“12 minutes. Start checking at 8 minutes. Pretzel bites should be golden brown and puffed. Baking Soda Water Solution Ratio: 4 cups water to 1/4 cup baking soda. This concentration gives the pretzel flavor and helps create a chewy, golden crust. Method: Boiling: Bring the solution to a boil. Boil the dough pieces for 20โ€“30 seconds per batch, flipping halfway. Drain on a wire rack before coating. Coating: Dip the dough pieces in the baking soda solution for about 15โ€“20 seconds, then place them directly on the baking sheet. Washes Egg wash: Use one whole egg, whisked with 1 teaspoon of water for a shiny and slightly firmer crust. (Egg whites alone will give more shine but less flavor; yolks alone will create a deeper color but softer finish.) Melted butter: Brush after baking for a rich, soft finish. Optionally, sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing. Your Experiment: Quadrant Plan Hereโ€™s how to organize the quadrants: Pretreatment Wash Notes Boiled Egg wash Classic shiny pretzel crust. Boiled Butter Rich, soft crust with chew. Coated Egg wash Less chewy but still glossy. Coated Butter Softest, richest option. Steps for Your Test Divide the biscuit dough into even pieces (about 1 inch each). Prepare the baking soda solution. Treat the dough using your boiling and coating methods. Place the treated dough pieces on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Apply your chosen washes to the corresponding groups. Bake on convection at 400ยฐF for 8โ€“12 minutes. Post-Bake Notes Once baked, taste-test the results. The differences in texture, shine, and flavor between the methods should help you decide your favorite! Let me know how the experiment goesโ€”Iโ€™d love to hear about your results!
GhatGPT’s Answer
Answer I'll help you navigate the best method for making biscuit pretzel bites based on the search results. Recommended Baking Method Temperature: 425ยฐF Setting: Traditional oven setting Baking Time: 8-15 minutes (until deep golden brown) Baking Soda Solution The most consistent recommendation is to fully boil the biscuit pieces in a baking soda bath, not just coat them. The recommended ratio is: 4 cups water 1/4 to 1/2 cup baking soda Boiling Process Bring water to a boil Dissolve baking soda completely Boil biscuit pieces for 15-20 seconds Use a slotted spoon to remove pieces Coating Options For the best results, I recommend using an egg wash. Here's why: Egg wash provides a more golden, glossy finish You can use the whole beaten egg Alternatively, you can use melted butter Experimental Approach Your idea of baking four quadrants with different methods is excellent. This will help you determine the best technique. Here's a structured approach: Quadrant Baking Soda Treatment Coating Expected Result 1 Boiled Egg wash Likely best traditional pretzel texture 2 Boiled Melted butter Softer, more buttery finish 3 Coated Egg wash Less authentic pretzel texture 4 Coated Melted butter Least pretzel-like Pro Tips Cut each biscuit into 4-9 pieces Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after coating Serve immediately for best taste and texture
Perplexity’s Answer

I’ll try to link to the full answers here too, as I did keep all 3 conversations going for a bit with different queries.

They looked OK for the most part. I had two cans of pre-made biscuit dough, both were Pillsbury Grands Southern Homestyle. One was Butter Tastin’, one was Buttermilk. Butter Tastin’ was tray 1, Buttermilk was tray 2. I tried all the things. Baked at 425ยฐ for 8 minutes. The boiled ones puffed up a bit, I only let them go for 15 seconds using Alexa as my timer, as I read that boiling too long in the baking soda can give you a metallic taste. The baking soda bath was in warm water… I only left them in for as long as it took me to boil the other ones. I did forget to put salt on until halfway through cooking. I used the coarse salt grinder.

A photo of 64 pretzel bites made form pre-made biscuit dough across two trays (& parchment paper) & a few cooking methods.
Pre-Made Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blobs by AiXeLsyD13

I broke each quadrant down & gave it a letter, & a really short summary…

8 pretzel bites on a plate, labeled A through H.
Absolute ๐Ÿฅจ Shenanigans
  • A | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – Most pretzel-like texture. Needed baked a bit more.
  • B | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Seemed like crunchy biscuits.
  • C | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Tasted burnt-ish.
  • D | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Straight up biscuit.
  • E | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – The outside was very pretzely.
  • F | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Close to a pretzel. -ish.
  • G | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Good… but crunchy. Maybe baked less time?
  • H | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Very biscuit-like.

So, that was a thing. Definitely going boiled, & egg wash next time. May seek out some coarse salt or pretzel salt. I may try it at 400ยฐ on the convection setting for 8 minutes, or a little longer on the regular setting at 425ยฐ. Also, may try cooking on a baking rack & cooling on a cooling rack. I may go got more traditional biscuit dough too, instead of what I had. At the end of the day, these all tasted great dipped in some Herlocher’s. I just wish I had some beer left, but I used my last can of Straub Amber making BBQ pulled pork sandwiches (and rocking out) today. Also, gotta try some with cheese in the middle, right?

Also, I know they’re not perfect yet, but these AI chat bots can REALLY help consolidate / create recipes pulled from so many online sources. It seems like you can search for 5 recipes, & get 7 different cooking times & temperatures at the very least. Then, like my stuff, if there’s no “Jump to Recipe” button, you gotta use Cooked.Wiki, JustTheRecipe.com, or Just The Recipe. As of now, the AI bots are not riddled with advertising and paid ad placement/rankings. They all have their strengths & weaknesses.

Here’s where you hit me up in the comments and/or on social media with your tried-and-true pretzel & pretzel bite methods. I’m not really all that super interested in making dough, so that’s why the canned dough piqued my interest. And, have you used AI prompts for cooking or anything else interesting lately?

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Chipped Ham BBQ Mac & Chips?

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, if you already have the best Chipped Ham BBQ recipe of all time, you may want to try this absolute garbage pile of over-processed comfort food.

I posted it on a few spots, but it garnered the most attention in a private food group. It also got me Zucked by Meta AI bots for calling it “ฯ‰ะฝฮนั‚ั” ั‚ัฮฑั•ะฝ ฮทฮฑยขะฝฯƒั•.”

I also posted it on Threads but haven’t got the widget to embed that here, yet. Hopefully it just becomes a feature soon. Maybe BlueSky too?

https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1857836395252896057