Italian …Subwich? Submursible?


This is becoming a trend. I want to make a sandwich and don’t have the appropriate bread or bun. Thankfully, this lack of planning for a meatball sub brought forth the almighty Meatball Club (the Meatball Melt isn’t bad either). This was not a bad alternative, if I do say so myself.

Did you get yourself a The Meatball Club T-shirt yet? Maybe I should trademark that.

I made some of my grilled chicken noodle soup that we had with a salad for dinner last night. I had some leftovers for lunch today and wanted a lil’ sandwich to go with it. Not much beats a local mom n’ pop pizza shop Italian Sub. I had some almost sort of close enough ingredients in the house, so I crafted my own.

In my humble opinion, the key to a great local sub shop Italian Sub is the toasting. The second key is to call it a sub and not a hoagie, grinder, hero or whatever other word yinz have for it. Maybe this would be less a Subwich and more a Submersible?

I didn’t have a sub roll, but I did have the super cheap hamburger buns. That worked, because it was lunch time and I didn’t need a foot long sandwich anyway.

A grilled Italian Sub sandwich made on a toasted burger bun, sitting atop a white plate, featuring melted cheese and ridiculous meats.
The Italian …Subwich?

Here’s what I did…

I preheated the oven to 400ยฐ and gathered all my stuff.

I melted some butter & EVOO with garlic powder, onion powder, & Italian seasoning in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl.

I spread the butter on the insides of the bun, sprinkled on a tiny bit of shake cheese, and toasted it inside up in the oven for 5 minutes on a sheet pan.

I took it out and poured some Sweet Italian Dressing on the inside of both buns.

I stacked the cold cuts, cheese, & veggies like this from the bottom up on the bottom bun: Turkey, hard salami, provolone cheese, ham, hard salami, jarred roasted red peppers, sliced black olives, shredded Parmesan from a tub,

I put a slice of provolone on the inside of the top bun.

I put it back in the oven for 6 minutes.

I took it out & assembled the sandwich.

I brushed a little more melted butter/spices on the top, and put it back in… this time on convection at 350ยฐ for two minutes because why not?

I bought it out and it definitely gave me mom n’ pop pizza shop vibes. Those slightly burnt edges make it kick.

My wife likes the Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing & some mayo on hers. If you’re going to comment that you don’t like back olives, can’t eat roasted red peppers, or would add onions, lettuce, & tomato… I’ll lift the weight off of your shoulders and ask how you’d make this yours?

If you are here to say bread, meat, or cheese are not for you and/or ask what you can substitute, I’ll say “Bean Soup” to you.

I asked Gemini to pull out an ingredient list, and it did this whole ass thing, so I’ll paste it all below for the “jump to the recipe” crowd. It’s funny how it says to slice the bun like this isn’t the ~$1 pack of 8 from Aldi. It does know what “shake cheese” is though. Do other people call it that, or just me? It adds some wild stuff all inferred from my text above.

Ingredients

This is for one sandwich, but is easily scalable for a crowd!

The Butter Brush & Dressing

  • 1 Sub Bun (or your favorite hoagie roll)
  • 2 Tbsp Butter (unsalted or salted)
  • 1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Onion Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Italian Seasoning
  • 2-3 Tbsp Sweet Italian Dressing (or another vinaigrette of your choice)
  • 1-2 tsp “Shake Cheese” (the grated Parmesan from a container)

The Filling

  • 2 Slices Provolone Cheese
  • 3-4 Slices Turkey (deli slices)
  • 3-4 Slices Ham (deli slices)
  • 6-8 Slices Hard Salami (layered)
  • 2 Tbsp Jarred Roasted Red Peppers (drained)
  • 1 Tbsp Sliced Black Olives
  • 1-2 Tbsp Shredded Parmesan (from a tub, for texture)

Wife’s Variation (Optional)

  • Roasted Red Pepper Italian Dressing
  • Mayonnaise

Instructions

1. Preheat and Prep the Butter

  • Preheat your oven to 400ยฐF.
  • In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter and EVOO together.
  • Stir in the garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

2. Toast the Bun

  • Slice your bun open and lay both halves on a sheet pan, inside-up.
  • Brush a generous layer of the seasoned butter mix onto the insides of both buns.
  • Sprinkle the insides with a tiny bit of the “shake cheese”.
  • Toast the buns in the oven for 5 minutes, or until the edges are just starting to brown.

3. Build the Base

  • Remove the buns from the oven.
  • Pour a drizzle of the Sweet Italian Dressing onto the inside of both bunsโ€”don’t saturate it, just a light coat.
  • On the bottom bun, stack the cold cuts, cheese, and veggies in this order:
    • Turkey
    • Hard Salami
    • One Slice of Provolone Cheese
    • Ham
    • Hard Salami
    • Jarred Roasted Red Peppers
    • Sliced Black Olives
    • Shredded Parmesan
  • Place the second slice of provolone cheese directly on the inside of the top bun (it will act as a shield and melt beautifully).

4. Melt and Warm

  • Put both halves of the sandwich (still separate) back in the oven for 6 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbling.
  • Carefully remove the sheet pan and assemble the sandwich by placing the top bun onto the bottom.

5. The Final Kick

Take it out, slice it, and enjoy!

Brush a little more of the remaining melted butter/spices right onto the top crust of the sandwich.

(Optional, but highly recommended) Turn the oven to Convection at 350ยฐF and pop the sandwich back in for 2 minutes. This gives you those amazing, slightly crispy, burnt edges that make the sandwich sing.

Oh yeah, did you see the soup?

…And what should I call this?

While we’re at it, which local pizza shop or deli makes your favorite Italian Sub? More than one answer is OK!

Carbs. Cabbage. Canned Beef. | O’Luski


So, I was hungry for corned beef & cabbage, …and I was hungry for haluski. That’s cabbage n’ noodles for the non-Yinzers or those with no Eastern European heritage. I am not Polish by descent or any of the ethnicities that gave us wonderful gifts like pierogies, halupki or the one where cottage cheese is in with the cabbage & noodles. (What is that called again?) In the immortal words of the young lady from the taco shell commercial, “Why not both?”

I am a bit Irish according to my DNA analysis & my surname. If I understand it right… corned beef & cabbage is an Irish-American invention, as back in Ireland it would most certainly be bacon… and the corned beef may have been adopted from the Jewish community. Sometimes you have a hankering for the canned stuff, not a “real” corned brisket.

Typically, I’d probably make this all in the skillet… and these store-bought noodles are nowhere as good as the ladies cooking at a church carnival, but I can make due with what I could get from Aldi. I saw some stuff online suggesting to finish up haluski in the oven. So, why not?

Canned meat, Cabbage, Carbs. I present to you the hottest new trend in Irish-American/Polish Fusion cuisine; O’Luski.

I had ChatGPT help me put together a recipe after I described my method, I still had to tweak it thoiugh. It filled 2 glass 9″x13″ baking dishes. I only put the corned beef on top of one.

Oโ€™Luski: Pittsburgh Polish/Irish Cabbage n’ Noodle Corned Beef Casserole

Ingredients:

  • 1 small head green cabbage, cored and sliced
  • 2 medium onions, sliced
  • 16 oz. bag of wide egg noodles
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 2 cans corned beef
  • Salt, black pepper, paprika, onion powder, & garlic powder to taste.
  • 1 tsp. ham soup base
  • 1 cube chicken bouillon

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 300ยฐF.
  2. Cook the egg noodles until tender in water with the ham soup base & chicken bouillon, drain, and toss with a couple tablespoons of butter. Set aside.
  3. While the noodles are cooking… Slice the canned corned beef, fry in a skillet on medium-high heat to crisp up the patties. Take them out & set aside. (I did crumble up a bit of the corned beef & leave it in the pan.
  4. Melt 1 stick butter in the same skillet over medium-low to medium heat. Add the onions and cook until starting to turn translucent to brown.
  5. Add the cabbage to the skillet with the other stick of butter, season with salt and pepper, and cook until tender and lightly caramelized.
  6. Combine the cooked noodles with the cabbage and onions, mixing well. Transfer the mixture to two buttered 9×13″ baking dishes.
  7. Scatter the crisped corned beef over the top. Bake uncovered at 300ยฐF for 25โ€“30 minutes. I put corned beef on top of one dish, and left the other just mostly cabbage & noodles.
  8. Let rest a few minutes before serving. Optionally, top with a final pat of butter for extra richness.

Notes:

  • I season with everything just about every step of the way… light on salt because of the corned beef & the bouillon. I probably used Mrs. Dash Table Blend too.
  • AI kept suggesting acid like vinegar or lemon juice. This is not the dish for that. ๐Ÿคฃ No caraway seeds either. This is comfort food.

German-Style Hot Potato Salad


I was in a cooking mood last weekend, and I tried out some hot German style potato salad. As usual, I googled recipes, solicited advice on Threads, and even bounced stuff off of LLM’s. I came up with the recipe below, and it paired nice with some Reubens. The bread on the Reubens was less than stellar. I need to get some better rye, & make sure it’s still seedless. (Thanks, diverticulitis!) Maybe marbled or Pumpernickel is the way to go? I’m not much of a baker, unless it’s as easy as the Cheesy Beer Bread.

Hot German-Style Potato Salad

OK. So here’s what I did:

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs. red potatoes
  • 10 strips thick-cut bacon, chopped
  • 1/2 of a Spanish onion, finely diced
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 1/4 cup white vinegar
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
  • 1 teaspoon ground mustard
  • Salt, Pepper, Onion Powder, & Garlic Powder to taste
  • Dried parsley to taste
  • Fresh chopped parsley

Instructions

  1. Put the whole potatoes in a large pot and cover with about 1 to 2 inches of cold, salted water (or chicken broth for extra flavor). Bring to a boil and cook until the potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork, about 15-20 minutes. Drain the potatoes well and set them aside. (Next time I will add the other half of the onion here. I did add a bit of ham bullion to the water.)
  2. While the potatoes are cooking, place the chopped bacon in a large skillet or pan over medium-low heat. Cook until the bacon is crispy, stirring occasionally to ensure even cooking. Using a slotted spoon, remove the bacon pieces and place them on a paper towel-lined plate to drain, but leave the rendered bacon grease in the skillet. (I may have snuck in a tiny bit of butter here.) This seemingly takes forever but is worth it. I seasoned the bacon with onion powder, garlic powder, & black pepper.
  3. Add the diced onion to the skillet with the bacon grease. Cook over medium heat, stirring often, until the onion is soft & translucent.
  4. To the skillet with the onions and bacon grease, add the chicken broth, white vinegar, sugar, Dijon mustard, and ground mustard. Whisk the mixture to combine. Bring the dressing to a simmer and let it cook for about 2 minutes to allow the flavors to meld. Season with salt and pepper to your liking. I put the dried parsley in here, too.
  5. Dice, the still-warm potatoes into large 1-inch-ish chunks, then place in a large bowl. Pour the hot dressing over the potatoes and gently toss to coat. Stir in about half of the cooked bacon pieces.
  6. Let the salad sit for at least 15 minutes to allow the potatoes to fully absorb the flavors. Just before serving, sprinkle the remaining crispy bacon and fresh chopped parsley or chives over the top.

The fresh parsley made it pop. Of course, you could use Yukon Gold or whatever potatoes you have. Watch out for green ones!

I wondered if honey mustard would be good? Obviously brown mustard or German mustard or even yellow mustard should be fine. I wonder what Herlocher’s would be like? Apple cider vinegar or brown sugar should be fine too. I see proponents for and against just about every variation online.

I say use what you have on hand or what you know you like. I bet I used Mrs. Dash’s table blend at some point, too. Some recipes recommended wine instead of broth. I may try it with beer?

Is this one you make often? Have you ever tried it? What are your tips & tricks? Luckily both kids liked it, so I’m sure I’ll be making it again. Also… I really didn’t measure much…. I just go.

Hit me up with your take on the Reuben, too! I have made them a few different ways, but always with the same basic ingredients.

Reuben Sandwich & Hot German-Style Potato Salad

Also, this is a hilariously appropriate song to rock to while you’re cooking:

It’s tangential, but made the cut for my Fast Food Punk Tunes & Dad Shit playlists!

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?


This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Stuffed Cabbage Recipe


So, recently I was hungry for stuffed cabbage. I had never made it before, so after Googling a few recipes and soliciting advice from a Facebook food group and Nextdoor, I came up with my own. You can put this URL into Just The Recipe or do the Cooked Wiki “hack” to skip all my bullshit up here.

I’m not a huge fan of rice in meatballs like you typically see with stuffed peppers or stuffed cabbage, so I was googling recipes without it and kept finding stuffed tagged as “keto,” or with other grains substituted in. I think it’s a texture thing for me, so I opted to go my own route. Also, get out of here with your sweet/hot sausage, I’ll add my own spices. Keep your veal/beef/pork mixes. Maybe ground turkey would be cool. Keep the lamb away.

It seems that many are tied to their family’s traditional way of making it, and that’s pretty cool. I always thought of it as an Eastern European type dish, but lots of cultures have their own spin & own words for it according to Wikipedia. The thought of omitting rice, or using condensed tomato soup instead of a tomato sauce or V8 sent some people into a tizzy. I even learned that lots of people include sauerkraut, and some people like it served with sour cream. Some people make it like a casserole. We always had the tomato soup version growing up, so that’s what I like/expected. Who knew? I’ll probably make it different next time… but both kids & the wife liked it, so I won’t experiment too much.

I used glass baking dishes covered with foil, but got advice that a roasting pan, an electric roaster, the crock pot, a Dutch oven, a soup pot on the stove, or a pressure cooker all work well, too.

Although, I would like to wrap a piece of bacon around the rolls and throw them on the smoker…

At any rate, check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

Also – What do you call them?

Here’s what I did. ๐Ÿคท

Get It:

  • 1 head of cabbage.
  • 4-ish lbs. of ground beef. (I used 3 lbs of 8/20 & 1 lb. of 90/10)
  • 2 eggs
  • ยฝ Yellow Bell Pepper
  • ยฝ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup shredded carrots (I bought a bag and I’ll use it for other stuff too.)
  • 1 beef bullion cube
  • 1 stick of butter
  • 3 23.2 oz. cans condensed Tomato Soup
  • Bread crumbs (Do I look like I measure stuff? Probably a cup and a half?)
  • Shredded Parmesan Cheese (in the ‘lil fancy container by the expensive cheese)
  • Minced Garlic (just have the jar ready I’m lazy and don’t crush/mince my own)
  • Spices. I used salt, black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Season All, & Table Blend. (I just throw it on at every step indiscriminately with complete abandon and total anarchy.)

Do it:

  1. Preheat Your oven to 400ยฐ.
  2. Get a stock pot, fill it enough to cover your cabbage. Drop in the bullion cube, and salt, minced garlic, and whatever seasoning your heart desires, and crank it to high with the lid on.
  3. Chop your onion in half. Toss half in the boiling water, but take the lid off first & then put it back on.
  4. Mince the rest of the onion.
  5. Cut up the yellow pepper. Feed half to your kids, the dog, or your significant other. Or just eat it. That’s the perk of being the cook. Mince the other half.
  6. Pull out a handful of the minced carrots, a big knife, and what them up until they are tiny pieces of shredded carrots. Our dog loves carrots, so I sprinkled some on her food bowl.
  7. I greased 3 glass baking dishes with the stick of butter. I used a 9″x13″, an 8″x9″, & a 9″x9″ because that’s what I had. I swear we broke like 3 glass dishes last summer.
  8. Melt what can surely be described as an obscene amount of butter in a skillet and sautรฉ the onion, then the pepper & carrots on medium heat. I was sure to hit them with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, & pepper. I like to cook onions slow & low.
  9. Drop the head of cabbage in your now boiling water while you’re doing all that. Yes, remove but do not replace the lid.
  10. Put the sautรฉed veggies aside and let them cool a bit while you get the meat mixture ready.
  11. Set up a colander or strainer over a large bowl, & get your tongs ready.
  12. Beat your eggs, & add spices.
  13. Mix the meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, some cheese, sautรฉed veggies, some minced garlic, and lots of spices. I do it by hand. I wash my hands very well before & after, so you probably should too. But hey, you do you.
  14. By this time, hopefully your cabbage has been boiling 10-ish minutes. Use tongs to gently peel one leaf at a time and place it lovingly in your colander. Don’t go too quick with it and splash/burn yourself, because I would definitely never ever do that.
  15. Open the cans of tomato soup and cover the bottom of your baking dishes.
  16. Get the leaf, cut out the bottom tough part of the leaf rib if so inclined, slap in your meat mixture, and wrap it like a burrito – folding in the ends part way through. I didn’t measure, I eyeballed the meat to leaf ratio.
  17. Fill the baking dish(es), pour on & season the rest of the condensed tomato soup, sprinkle on some more parmesan cheese, cover in foil, and bake for an hour.

Tips/Lessons Learned/Parting Thoughts:

  • I was going to bake it at 375ยฐ and I probably should have, taking the foil off for the last 15 min. They were well over the recommended 160ยฐ internal temp for ground beef. Maybe some browning/caramelizing would not be a bad thing?
  • I saw a lot of tips for freezing the cabbage instead of boiling it, but I also read just as many responses saying that it can drastically affect the texture and not in a good way.
  • I may put in back next time. Maybe inside? Maybe wrapped outside?
  • Hear me out… Reuben cabbage rolls. Corned beef? Sauerkraut? Thousand Island or Russian dressing? Rye breadcrumbs? (We make non-traditional stuffed peppers sometimes, too.)
  • If you like rice, by all means include it. Or barley, or any other grain. I considered those tiny lil’ pasta balls… but maybe I just like to say Acini de Pepe way too much. Some people recommended cauliflower rice, also.
  • Check out all my other recipes and let me know what you think!
  • I got some thoughts from more tips & feedback when I posted photos on the FB food group & Nextdoor, too.
  • Are you still reading? Check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

New Yearโ€™s Day Pork & Sauerkraut II


I came to blog my recipe then through a search, discovered I posted one last year!โ€‚That was in the roasting pan though, and it was a pork loin rib half.โ€‚This year, I put a pork shoulder roast in the crock pot… and made some dumplings 2 ways to go with it!

Crock Pot Pork n' Sauerkraut with dumplings for New Year's Day!
Crock Pot Pork n’ Sauerkraut with dumplings for New Year’s Day!

Ingredients:

  • 6 lb. pork shoulder roastย 
  • 2 bags of sauerkrautย (Beware, โ€œBavarian styleโ€ is a secret code meaning it has caraway seeds & tastes like royal ass. Unless you like caraway seeds or royal ass. I avoid it for diverticulitis reasons anyway.)
  • 1 bottle of beer.ย I usedย Straub Amber again this year, but I also like to useย Yuengling Traditional Lager.ย (You could also useย Penn Pilsner,ย Stoneyโ€™s,ย Shiner Bock, orย Smithwickโ€™s Red Ale…โ€‚Don’t be ruining it with Budweiser, Coors or Iron City.)
  • Apple Juice (Maybe ยฝ cup?)
  • 2 Apples (I like Golden Crisp or Honey Crisp)
  • 1 Spanish Onion (Or a sweet or yellow onion or whatever you like.)
  • ยฝ teaspoon-ish Minced Garlic
  • Salt (or Season All / Seasoned Salt)
  • Pepper
  • Onion Powder
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Mustard Powder
  • Brown Sugarย (Maybe ยผ cup?)
  • Pillsbury Grands Biscuit Dough

Instructions:

  1. Drain & rinse the sauerkraut, unless youโ€™re into clearing the pluming from the top down.
  2. Slice the apples & onions then place them on the bottom of the slow cooker/crock pot, add that beer & apple juice.โ€‚Add some spices.
  3. Put the roast in, fat side up. Add some spices.
  4. Cover it with the rinsed sauerkraut.โ€‚Add some spices.
  5. Add that brown sugar sprinkled all over the top,โ€‚Add some more spices.
  6. I put it on low for 8 hours & it was over-cooked & falling apart, but in a good way.
  7. Cook it toย 145ยฐ F according to the FDA, 160ยฐ according to my thermometer with the numbers beside the pig icon, or 203ยฐ if you want it to fall apart.
  8. Cut up 4 of the Pillsbury biscuits into 4 pieces each, pop ’em into the crock pot on the last half hour.โ€‚I sealed the inside of the lid with foil at that point because I read you should do that online.โ€‚(Don’t burn yourself!)
  9. Let it rest a bit when you pull it out. Thatโ€™s just good life advice in general.

I cooked the other 4 biscuits, also cut into 4’s, in my stock pot:โ€‚

  1. I tossed some beer, water, apple juice, & ham bullion into my stock pot, then brought it to a boil.
  2. I dropped in the dumpling pieces, and brought it down to a simmer.โ€‚That’s about a 2 on my stovetop dial.
  3. I boiled for 10 minutes with the lid off, then for 10 minutes with the lid on.

Tips:

  • Damnit, I forgot to do this part:โ€‚Sear the pork roast on all sides. I used a large fork to control it along with some tongs. I used a hot pan with a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil & a pat of butter. You just want to sear the outsides, not cook the meat. I did add a bit of seasonings first.
  • I put onion powder on the apple slices and garlic powder on the onion slicesโ€ฆ because why not? Does anyone else do stuff this?
  • You could try to roast it.
  • I liked the dumplings from the crock pot more than the ones from the stock pot.โ€‚they were more fluffy/biscuity and less… wet.โ€‚They both tasted pretty good & were certainly edible though.

What are your New Year’s traditions and recipes?โ€‚Did you see my New Year’s appetizers?โ€‚I’ll take any & all tips on dumplings!โ€‚I haven’t had luck with the Bisquick variety and I never tried scratch.

Conagra Ruins Christmas.


Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect.โ€‚The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued.โ€‚I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts.โ€‚I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though.โ€‚You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03โ€ฏPM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. Weโ€™d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Changโ€™s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that youโ€™ll enjoy. PF Changโ€™s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Changโ€™s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if youโ€™re interested in trying it, weโ€™d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, itโ€™s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isnโ€™t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them.โ€‚This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12โ€ฏPM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. Iโ€™ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50โ€ฏAM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50โ€ฏAM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media.โ€‚I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.


Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Nov 19
And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page:  https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces

Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 19
Thank you for the reply.  I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever.  Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you?

Did anyone at least try the maze?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it doesโ€ฆ or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that โ€œteriyakiโ€ may refer to a style, much like โ€œbarbecueโ€ can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. โ€œKetchupโ€ came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so Iโ€™m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptorโ€ฆ but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as โ€œout of stockโ€ on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock โ€œYes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.โ€ I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USAโ€ฆ just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I wonโ€™t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

Thanksgiving Dinner! – The Recipes.


I love to put together a holiday meal, especially thanksgiving. I have it down pretty good to corral the chaos.

First prepping the turkey & stuffing…

I do the bird in the electric roaster, stuffed, for 15-ish minutes per lb. @ 325ยฐ Farenheit. I roasted in the preheated pan on full for about 45 minutes at the start before turning it down. I inject the turkey in a few sports with a mixture of melted beer, butter, & spices. I usually rub some softened butter on top and toss on lots of seasoning there too. I usually pour a bottle of beer and a box of turkey broth in the bottom, & include some carrots, celery, & an onion.

Don’t worry about samonella with a stuffed bird. Take it to 165ยฐ. Always use a food thermometer. Some of the dark meat of the turkey will be overcooked but it will still be juicy & delicious. I haven’t killed anyone with my turkey yet.

The extra stuffing can be made into stuffing balls, but I put it in the crock pot. You just have to stir it, & maybe add extra turkey or chicken broth if needed or it will stick to the sides a lil’ burnt.

Do the math, & time it so you’re pulling the turkey out about a half an hour before you want to serve it.

Then I make the sides. Check out my recipes!

I cut up the butternut squash first, & put it in the fridge for when I needed it.

I peeled & quartered the potatoes, let them sit in cold water (& turkey broth).

Cut up & prep the brussels sprouts & carrots, you want to pop them in about 45 min before you plan to eat.

Prep the squash & put it in right after the brussels sprouts.

Turn on the potatoes, by the time they cook & you do your thing… it the other stuff should be ready to go.

Others brought even more sides… cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, & rolls!

If I make green bean casserole, I pretty much use the Campbell’s recipe or French’s Fried Onions recipe… sometimes with an added can of mushrooms, fresh green beans, & maybe even some bacon pieces or ham.

If I cook with beer it’s either Yuengling Traditional Lager or Straub Amber.

For the gravy, I just use pan drippings broth from the turkey, and eyeball together a slurry of corn starch, add it, & some more spices if needed.

Someday I am going to brine a turkey with a buttermilk brine & cook it on the smoker, but… not for Thanksgiving. Well, not the first time anyway.

I like to keep the oven open for sides, & any brought sides or pies that may need warmed up.

Thanksgiving Sides!  Brussels Sprouts & Rainbow Carrots, Butternut Squash, Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes, & Stuffing!
Thanksgiving Sides! Brussels Sprouts & Rainbow Carrots, Butternut Squash, Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes, & Stuffing!

What are your Thanksgiving or other holiday meal prep tips, go-to’s, methods, or favorite recipes?

๐Ÿฆƒ Don’t forget these free Thanksgiving Mazes! ๐Ÿฆƒ

Mashed Potatoes Recipe


Putting my thanksgiving recipe here… which is more of a method I guess.

A bowl of homemade mashed potatoes, with some pats of butter on top.
We ran out of bowls, so it’s in a pie plate.

Here I keep it super simple.

Gather it:

  • 5 lb. bag of Yukon Gold Potatoes
  • 1 Stick Butter
  • 1 cup of Buttermilk
  • 8 oz. Sour Cream
  • 32 ox. box of turkey broth.
  • Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, White Pepper, Salt to taste

Do it:

  1. Peel the potatoes, don’t be afraid to leave a bit of skin.
  2. Quarter them, place them in your stock pot in the turkey broth with some salt and cover the potatoes with cold water.
  3. Maybe toss in a pat of butter and some spices.
  4. Bring the pot to a boil on high with the lid on, take the lid off and crank it down to medium for 20 minutes.
  5. Turn the burner off, strain the potatoes, but the pot with the potatoes back on the warm burner.
  6. Add your spices to taste.
  7. Start to mash ’em, add the buttermilk, sour cream, & butter.
  8. Don’t mash ’em too much. I like them thick enough to build a tower like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Some lumps are OK.

Tips:

  • I don’t actually measure the buttermilk & sour cream. Just do it by feel. Of course you can use regular milk, heavy cream, or a non-dairy milk.
  • Use good whole buttermilk, like Charlie’s Old Time Buttermilk by Turner’s.
  • Save a pat or two over butter for on top… or, just add MORE butter.
  • Of course you can just use water or chicken stock or bullion cubes or beer or whatever you want.
  • Add whatever spices you want too! I may have put some poultry seasoning in there. Sometimes I add cheese too.
  • I use a meat chopper instead of a traditional potato masher. I find it goes much smoother and is less of a mess.

I’d be interested to see how you do it. Got any tips or secrets for me? What are your favorite methods or add-ins? I also love a good boxed potato flake mixed extra thick and flavored-up, but get out of here with that runny Bob Evans microwavable slop!