Crafty-Kraft Creamy Baked Mac n’ Cheese


I have had it in my head for a while now that I wanted some of the homestyle creamy baked mac n’ cheese. Inspiration hit with the snow coming down today, wanting some comfort food, so I just did it. I had been wondering if you could use a box of Kraft as the start to “good” mac & cheese, too. I had some stuff in the ‘fridge & pantry to make it happen. Posting it here to remember what I did.

I didn’t really measure, but this is close…

Ingredients:

  • 2 boxes Kraft mac & cheese (noodles & powder packets)
  • ½ cup butter & ¼ cup butter (for later)
  • ½ cup flour
  • 1 block sharp cheddar cheese (16 oz.?), grated
  • 4 cubed chunks (approx. 1″ cubes) of Velveeta (I used the Aldi version)
  • 1 cup shredded colby jack cheese
  • 2½ cups 2% milk
  • ½ cup half & half
  • ¾ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ¾ plain breadcrumbs
  • yellow mustard (a dash)
  • ground mustard (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • white pepper (to taste)
  • salt (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • table blend salt-free seasoning (to taste)

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350° F.
  2. Boil the pasta in some water with bit of salt, for about 5 minutes… the time on the box overcooks them.
  3. Melt ½ cup butter in a cause pan on medium, stir in the flour (season it here), cook 2 or 3 min. until golden.
  4. Slowly stir in milk & half & half. (Season it here too.)
  5. Slowly stir in the grated sharp cheddar & chunks of Velveeta. I put the squirt of mustard in here. (Season it here too.)
  6. Slowly stir in one of the cheese powder packets from the Kraft box. (Season it here too.)
  7. Drain the pasta when it’s done while you’re doing all that, then put it in an 8″x8″ glass baking dish.
  8. Stir in your cheese sauce. (If I understand correctly, that was a roux, then a béchamel, then a mornay… right?) Season it again if you nasty, and you’re reading this, so I know you are.
  9. Melt the ¼ cup of butter in a small bowl with a handle. (Season it here too.)
  10. Stir the breadcrumbs, the other Kraft cheese packet, & the table blend seasoning into the butter bowl.
  11. Sprinkle the shredded colby jack on top of the cheese n’ macaroni.
  12. Spread the buttery cheesy breadcrumbs on that.
  13. Pop it in the oven for like 18 minutes.

Notes:

  • I popped it in for 20 minutes, and while the breadcrumbs got a little overdone, they weren’t quite burnt. I may cover it in foil for a bit next time, or put the breadcrumbs on after a bit of cooking?
  • I’ll use a bullion cube in with the macaroni next time. I do that with pasta a lot but was worried the Kraft cheese packets may be salty, they weren’t as bas as I expected.
  • I needed some grated parmesan shake cheese, but didn’t use any because I couldn’t find it. Ha ha.
  • What about crushed Cheeze-Its instead of breadcrumbs? What about bacon pieces in there?

Have you done this? Obviously I could just use regular pasta & forgo the Kraft powdered cheese sauce concoction. Got any tips or tricks? If you say nutmeg or cinnamon you can see yourself all the way out.

Share your thoughts in the comments!

Mushroom Meatloaf Mayhem


If you want beef, then bring the ruckus! My mushroom meatloaf ain’t nothin’ to ████ with.

With the likely chance of repeating myself, I like to make meatloaf different all the time. I make “normal” ones often, and made a crazy breakfast one one time. I think I have even crushed up Cheese⟐Its or Doritos in lieu of breadcrumbs. I blame Chopped. I forgot that I made one VERY similar to this not too long ago. The blog post was kind of sus as I was using LLM as I cooked to keep track of what I was did in hopes of having a coherent recipe for a post, & had 4 of them pop out interpretations of my recipe. I put the examples there. That may be overwhelming. I’ll do all the writing for this one. I sort of half-plan and wing it with meatloaf. This time I wanted to do some mashed potatoes & acorn squash with it too… so I did.

Two freshly baked meatloaves topped with cream of mushroom soup and crispy fried onions, resting on a sheet pan.
Mushroom Meatloaf Mayhem

This was an absurd amount of meatloaf, but I like leftovers and I’ll probably freeze some for later too. This is what I bought or had on hand this time. Most of my ingredients nowadays come from Aldi, & we do get some stuff at Giant Total Eagle.

I used a lot of processed ingredients, so I didn’t add any salt… other than what was in the season salt. I forget if we have McCormick or the Aldi brand. Of course you could use fresh mushrooms like I did last time… but this is what struck me to use this time. Also, you can use any kind of cheese or meat you want. If you don’t like, mushrooms, or onions… I will say “Bean Soup” to you and you can find other meatloaf recipes where they’re not the focus. If you don’t like meat… I would be interested to hear your suggestions for substitutions here.

You know… if I put shredded green beans in this, and maybe bacon pieces… it would be green bean casserole meatloaf. 🤯

Here are all the parts to the meal, and what I did to bring it all together at the same time…

The Mushroom Mayhem Meatloaf

Ingredients:

  • ½ stick unsalted butter (OK, maybe ¾)
  • A splash of EVOO.
  • A splash of milk.
  • ½ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup French-fried onions.
  • 2 4-oz. cans of mushrooms
  • 2 10.5-oz. cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • 1½ cups panko breadcrumbs
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 cup shredded Havarti cheese.
  • 2 tsp. jarred minced garlic (oh I know some of you hate it)
  • 4 lbs. ground beef (As it worked out I had exactly 4 lbs., 2.54 of 80/20 & 1.46 of 93/7.)
  • A1 (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)
  • Seasoned Salt (like Morton’s Season All, Lawry’s, or Stonemill to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • Ground Mustard (to taste)
  • Paprika (to taste)
  • 4 slices of cheap spongy white bread

Instructions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 375°.
  2. Drain & dice one can of mushrooms, dice the onion, and crunch up some of those french-fried onions to throw in there too.
  3. Hit the onion with garlic powder & onion powder.
  4. Melt some butter with a splash of EVOO on medium-high heat in a frying pan, then add the mushrooms & onions, sauté on medium-low for a while until the mushrooms are translucent & almost starting to caramelize. Toss in some of that minced garlic once it gets going. Set aside.
  5. Mix 1 can of the cream of mushroom soup, the breadcrumbs, about a ½ cup of the French fried onions, & 2 splashes of A1 in a bowl. (Would this count as a panade?)
  6. Whisk the eggs, the splash of milk, & all your spices in the bowl. Or use a fork. Be whimsical. Improvise.
  7. In a large mixing bowl, mix the ground beef, about ¾ of the sauteed mushrooms & onions, the sort-of panade, the egg mixture, about 1 cup of shredded Havarti, & another tsp. of that minced garlic. Mix it all up. (I started with a spoon spatula, then just used my hands.)
  8. Form the meatloaf into two loaves placed on top of the slices of white bread on a sheet pan. (You had that ready right? I mean, you read this all through before you started and knew you needed to have that ready before you got your hands all raw-meatloafy, right?)
  9. Sprinkle Seasoned Salt & whatever other spices you want on the top.
  10. Cover with foil, & put in the oven for about a ½ hour-ish? I cooked to temperature, not time. (The USDA says ground beef should hit 160° to prevent all kinds of potentially horrible things.)
  11. Mix together another can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, some more shredded Havarti, some French-fried onions, a small can of mushrooms, about half of what you have left of the sauteed onion/mushroom mix, & some A1 & spices.
  12. Open the oven, take the foil off, insert your thermometer probes, slather on the mixture, and slide it back in. Cook for about an additional hour. Maybe? (This is where I slid it to the side & popped in my golden acorn squash.)
  13. Take it out when it hits the 160°, let it rest for a bit, and have at it!

Notes:

  • I add whatever spices at each step as I go.
  • Of course, use fresh mushrooms or different onions, or whatever speaks to you.
  • Monitor your meatloaf, if cooling alone maybe do an hour covered, then uncover a bit, put in the probes, & slather the stuff on top later. I didn’t want to keep opening the oven.
  • I rarely measure when making stuff like this… these are suggestions at best.
  • I was originally going to make one long-ass loaf, but I decided on 2 smaller ones at the last minute. I should have put them side by side, not end to end.
  • Use a loaf pan or two if that’s your thing, or a glass baking dish, or whatever works for you. I like the freeform loaf on bread, it works for me. Just maybe don’t do feetloaf or faceloaf. Really, don’t do this.
  • I start with an empty dishwasher and just rinse & pop everything in there as I use it because I have a small kitchen.
  • You could rock out to Meatloaf while you make meatloaf. Or some Wu Tang.

Roasted Golden Acorn Squash

Ingredients:

  • 2 golden acorn squashes
  • 1 stick of butter
  • Paprika (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)
  • Brown Sugar (to taste)

Recipe:

  1. Your oven is already at 375° with the meatloaf above, right?
  2. Melt the butter, spices, & sugar in a microwave safe bowl.
  3. Cut the acorn squash in half with a sharp serrated knife from the stem to the tip on both sides, then pop it open.
  4. Scoop out the seeds & strings with a spoon.
  5. Score the insides with a cross-hatch pattern or whatever floats your boat.
  6. Put the 4 halves open side up in a glass baking dish in about ¼ of water.
  7. Try to evenly distribute the sugary melted butter in the centers, being sure to drizzle some on the top too. I used a small gravy ladle.
  8. Let it ride in the oven for about an hour or so, maybe an hour and 15 minutes. You want it to just slightly start to burn on the edges.

Notes:

  • If I was not sharing the oven with meatloaf, I probably would have put these in at 400° or 425°. I am here to tell you that recipes are merely suggestions and you are free to adapt on the fly and use your own free will.
  • Lots of recipes have you start acorn squash face down, then turn them over, do the hokey pokey & all that. I am here to tell you that you absolutely do not need to do all that. Save your time & energy for other meal prep or solving one of my mazes.
  • Use whatever spices or sweetener you like. I find maple syrup overpowering sometimes, but it is popular here. I actually in hindsight should have tried hot honey on one. It seems to be all the rage. Some cayenne would really work well here.
  • Instead of a cross-hatch pattern, you could make a face, carve a list of your enemies, or this.
  • Squashes sounds weird. Can squash itself be plural?

Nashed Tapaters N’ Gravy

This may be controversial. I like boxed instant mashed potatoes. They’re quick. I can control the consistency easily. They are a blank canvas upon which you can paint your flavorful dreams. On holidays? I am doing real potatoes. Typical dinner? Flakes are fine.

Mashed Potato Ingredients:

  • Boxed Mashed Potato Flakes
  • Milk
  • Butter
  • Beef Bouillon Cube
  • Shredded Havarti
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)

Mashed Potato “Recipe”:

  1. Make the potatoes according to the directions on the box. Their suggested serving sizes are a lie. Go big, or go home.
  2. I pop a beef bouillon cube or two in the water instead of the salt. It ties it in to the meatloaf nicely and adds salt & flavor.
  3. Stir in some shredded Havarti cheese at the end. Measure with your heart. Or your appendix. Whatever organ is speaking, just listen.
  4. Add some more butter.

Gravy Ingredients:

  • 1 brown gravy packet
  • 1 mushroom gravy packet
  • 1 4-oz. can of mushrooms
  • 1 10.5-oz. can condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • Some of those sauteed mushrooms & onions from waaay back up top
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)

Gravy “Recipe”:

  1. Mix the gravy packets both at once according to the directions on the pack… adding in your preferred spices.
  2. Once it is fully simmered & not clunky… pop the burner back up to medium and add in the soup, the canned mushrooms, and some of your sauteed onion & mushroom mix.
  3. Keep that going until it’s all heated through, you shouldn’t need to let it boil again. Let it rest a bit.

Notes:

  • I’m an anarchist when it comes to instant potatoes. Toss in buttermilk, sour cream, cheese, garlic… whatever you want. Use chicken stock or vegetable stock instead of water. I try to tie it in to the main dish.
  • You could make a gravy from scratch… but it’ll be almost the same stuff that’s in the packets. And, I wasn’t about to collect the drippings from the meatloaf to make a gravy like you would with a roast. 🤣

🍖🍄🧅🧀🥔

There you have it. What would you do differently? Have anything you picked up that you might try? What are your meatloaf go-to recipes, tips, & tricks? Have any other meatloaf styles, or do you do it straight-up old school ketchup glaze? Most importantly, what are you rocking out to as you make meatloaf?

Skeleton Dungeon DIY Halloween Decoration 💀


I really enjoy setting up Halloween decorations. I have been thinking I should do one of these “skeletons escaping a dungeon” pallet things for years. Finally did it.

💀💀

It really didn’t take long, and I neglected to look at any instructions online. Some other ones have a definite “burning pit of hell” vibe. I just went pretty spooky/chill. I have seen some people using Saran Wrap and heat guns or hair dryers to make sinewy gross zombie-ish skeletons, or people painting or staining the bones. I may get to that later, but these looked pretty neat as is for now.

The wood came from a recently town-down old swing set. I didn’t like the two pallets I had on hand for this. I had an old rattle can of black paint that I used to just barely darken it up & kind of make it look more aged.

I got the one skull & forearms/hands from Giant Eagle. I got the other skull, hands, chains, lights, & netting for the back at Dollar Tree. All-in, I think I have around $20 to $25 in this? I swapped the hands for the skulls because the sizes made more sense to me.

After letting the pallet dry, I stapled the lights into the bottom, then I stapled a weird grey ratty cloth under that. Then, I just picked a spot, positioned the skulls, arms/hands, & chains, then plugged it in. OH yeah, I put a weird motion-sensor screamy thing in the one corner too, because it was super-annoying everywhere else.

Do you like to put a DIY spin on Halloween or other holiday decorations? Show me what ya got!

💀☠️💀

Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup w/ Ham n’ Cheese Beer Bread Sandwiches 🧀🥦🥣🍺🥓🍞


It’s cheeseception. I wanted to try that cheesy beer bread in some grilled ham & cheese sandwiches… and I needed some soup for the side, right? Why not up the cheese level with my old broccoli cheese soup or my potato soup? I thought the fiber from the broccoli may be beneficial. 😆

I altered the recipe a bit.

Golden roasted broccoli cheddar soup with pops of green and orange (from carrots) in a small white bowl with a spoon sitting beside a panini-grilled ham & cheese sandwich with cross-hatch lines on a white plate.  It's all on a wooden counter top, beside a wooden cutting board,
Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup and a Cheesy Beer Bread Grilled Ham & Cheese Sandwich

I probably should have stuck with a traditional tomato soup to combat the absolute decadent richness, but this soup was pretty damn good. I want to try to make a roasted butternut squash soup eventually too… but not sure that would pair well with this sandwich?

I did spice-up my original broccoli cheese soup recipe. This could be a full meal, or a side to a nice turkey or roast beef sandwich. Recipe down below. That’s what I did this time. I’ll probably make it slightly different next time. Everyone does that, right?

As far as the sandwich, I just cooked some lunchmeat ham for a few seconds on the panini grill, sliced up the cheesy bear bread, buttered the outsides with softened butter, and stacked it with some individually wrapped cheese slices… cooked on high on the countertop grill to sear & melt it all at once. I should have gotten a side view, but I was hungry.

🥦🧀🥣 Roasted Broccoli Cheddar Soup | The Recipe

This is like my last recipe, but slightly altered.

Ingredients:

  • 2 sticks of butter
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or whatever kind you like)
  • 1 cup of flour
  • ½ cup of shredded carrots
  • ¼ cup of diced celery
  • ½ Spanish onion
  • 1 Tbsp. minced garlic
  • ½ tsp. ground mustard
  • ½ tsp. paprika
  • ½ tsp. onion powder
  • ½ tsp. garlic powder
  • ½ tsp. salt-free table blend seasoning
  • ¼ tsp. white pepper
  • Salt, black pepper, & dried parsley to taste
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 32 oz. box of chicken stock
  • 32 oz. box of vegetable broth
  • 12 oz. bottle or can of beer (I used Yuengling Traditional Lager.)
  • 2 tsp. Ham Broth Base (I used Orrinton Farms)
  • 3 bundles of fresh broccoli (chopped up into spoon-sized pieces)
  • ¼ cup of bacon pieces
  • 10 oz. block of extra sharp cheddar cheese (grated)
  • 10 oz. block of white cheddar cheese (grated)
  • ½ cup of parmesan cheese
  • 16 oz. block of Velveeta (cut onto small chunks)
  • 2 cup bag of shredded “mac & cheese blend” cheese

Method:

  1. Pre-heat oven to 425°, & do all your chopping/shredding/measuring.
  2. Toss about ⅔ of the broccoli, & a bit of carrots & bacon pieces in a bowl with salt, pepper, & oil to coat. Roast on a sheet pan for about 20 minutes.
  3. While that is going, melt butter on medium heat in the bottom of your stock pot, add celery, carrots, onions, garlic, & sauté for a bit.
  4. Mix all the spices with the flour, add to pot to make a roux and let it get a nice color brown.
  5. Add the beer slowly to the roux, then the boxes of stock, then the buttermilk.
  6. Add remaining ⅓ of broccoli & bacon pieces, bring to a boil, simmer for about 15 to 20 minutes.
  7. The roasted broccoli should be done, hold it until you have 5 min. left of simmering.
  8. Turn heat to low, stir in all that cheese. (I mixed it all into a bowl 1st)

Notes:

  • This was a different soup when roasting vs the last time. I could honestly go for either again.
  • I used whatever seasonings at every step as they struck me in addition to the measured amounts.
  • I did pop in a squirt of yellow mustard, too. Mustard is botanically related to broccoli, & acts as an emulsifier.
  • Fresh real bacon would be incredible here, maybe more of it… or even bits of cubed ham.
  • You could skip the beer & do 1½ cups of water with the ham bullion or Better Than Bouillon. I like to use Straub Amber to cook too.
  • I wonder if a red bell pepper would be good in this too?
  • This makes a large pot, so hope you like leftovers.
  • My apologies to vegans, the lactose-intolerant, and the dairy-allergic.

🥦🧀🥣

OK, so how would you make your broccoli cheddar soup? Can I call this broccoli cheddar when it also includes other kinds of cheese? What are your thoughts on the roasting? Would you try this? Do you have a broccoli cheese soup go-to recipe? How about any tips & tricks?

Beer Cheese Bread & Beer Cheese Dip! 🍻🧀🍞


Apparently beer & cheese have been on my mind lately. I saw a post by @swampmuse on threads of some cheesy beer bread and it looked awesome. She was cool enough to share her recipe. That got me thinking about beer cheese dip because of the shared ingredients. I was in a cooking mood last night. I’ll definitely be making the bread again, and the cheese dip would be great for pretzels… so maybe new years or a cold October night?

They were good together. I wonder if beer cheese bread in beer cheese dip is meta, or merely going hard?

Cheesy Beer Bread & Beer Cheese Dip on a white plate.

I hardly drink any more, and the big bird was out of Yuengling bottle six packs & only had Straub Amber can 15 packs… so, I ended up with 2 big-ass 24 oz. cans of Yuengling Traditional Lager.

Cheesy Beer Bread (recipe by @swampmuse) 🧀🍺🍞

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of flour
  • 1 cup of shredded cheese
  • 2 Tablespoons of sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon of baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Parsley to desired taste
  • 1 can of beer (12 oz. or 1½ cups)
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter for the top later.

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Mix all ingredients gently.
  3. Bake for 45-50 minutes.
  4. Brush additional melted butter on top @ 35 minutes.

Notes: I’m a dumbass, I left all the butter for the end when I should have mixed it in. Next time! I may have went heavy on my pinch of salt, too. I did brush all the butter on at 35 minutes, & it went for another 15 minutes, & was perfect. I think I will also sprinkle some additional shredded cheese on the top at the 35 min. mark… because, I mean… why not?

This would be great with a hearty soup. Broccoli Cheese Soup, Potato Soup, Chili, or Nine Can Vegetable Soup perhaps? Or a nice meatloaf. (Or a crazy meatloaf.)

My 10 year old said he “thought it was going to be gross because it looked all bumpy” but was an immediate fan upon tasting.

Thank you so much to @swampmuse for the original post, the inspiration, and the recipe!

Beer Cheese Dip 🍺🧀

I had this on my mind, looked at a bunch or recipes online, and just winged it.

Ingredients:

  • 1 16 oz. block of Velveeta
  • 1 8 oz. block of cream cheese
  • 1 cup beer
  • 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
  • 1 cup shredded Gouda
  • ground mustard to taste
  • white pepper to taste
  • yellow mustard to taste

Instructions:

  1. Cube up the Velveeta & cream cheese, put it in a crock pot on high.
  2. Toss on the mustard powder & white pepper to taste, add a dollop of yellow mustard.
  3. Stir it every 10 min. or so until it’s melty.
  4. Add in the beer, stir.
  5. Add in the shredded cheese, stir.
  6. Stir.
  7. Be incredibly patient.
  8. Stir.

Notes: It takes longer than you think & looks weird until it hits that “just right” point. This is probably a different time estimate for every appliance. You could obviously do this in a sauce pan or double boiler if that’s what you’ve got. The mustard is an emulsifier and helps with smoothness. I picked white pepper over garlic or hot sauce as other recipes noted. I also skipped Worcestershire sauce as some recommended as it can contain anchovies, and weirdly anchovies can trigger shellfish allergies. Dropping some jalapeño or poblano from the garden into this also would have been pretty killer.

If I ever make pretzel bites again, this is a must.

Overall, these recipes are just a guide, and you can go all anarchy on them. What kind of beer do you like to cook with? What kind of cheese or spices would you add or swap out for? And, what would you dip in it? Would you did the cheesy beer bread in the beer cheese dip? Got any recommendations on either recipe?

🍻🧀🍺🍞🍻

While you’re making or eating these, consider rocking out to these playlists…

I was jamming out to this one.

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?


This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

The Meatball Club


So, yesterday I made spaghetti with homemade meatballs. Today, I wanted a meatball sub. I was thinking I still had some good buns from New Year’s day. They were not good. I had already melted the butter. The store-brand white bread was calling to me. A sandwich? No, a club.., Something worthy of shenanigans.

The Meatball Club:  A double-decker meatball sandwich on toasted white bread, teeming with tasty sauce & melted Gruyere and Swiss cheese.
Behold: The Meatball Club

It seemed to be a hit on various social media platforms, so I thought I’d share the love. If you make one, please, post the photo, tag me (@AiXelsyD13 on just about everything), and let me know how it was!

The Meatballs:

I have shared my meatball ingredient secrets a quadruple of times:

I generally don’t measure, and make them different every time. This time I fried them on medium-high in a large pan on the stove & a tiny bit of EVOO.

The Sauce:

OK, gonna level with you. I am not Italian. This is going to make some people mad. I use jarred sauce. This was the cheap Aldi stuff. Usually we get that or the Prego Three Cheese. I add brown sugar & Parmesan/Romano shake cheese. Sometimes, I even add shopped garlic, onion powder, or “Italian Seasoning.” This time it was just brown sugar and cheese. I don’t measure. I toss a little in with abandon. I like the sweetness & it cuts the acid.

The Club:

Get your stuff…

  • ¼ stick butter
  • Garlic powder
  • Onion powder
  • Parsley or (Italian Seasoning)
  • 6 or so leftover meatballs.
  • Shredded cheese (I had Gruyere & Swiss, but I would probably go for Mozzarella or Provolone, but the stuff I had was fantastic.)
  • “Shake Cheese” I had the cheap Giant Eagle brand Parmesan/Romano blend.
  • Three pieces of white bread.

Do it…

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 390° on the air fryer setting.
  2. Melt the butter w/ garlic powder, onion powder, & parsley to taste in a microwave save bowl in 30 second intervals, stirring in between until it’s a liquid.
  3. Put the bread on a baking dish, brush on the melted butter after a good stir. (I just did the top sides.)
  4. Air fry for 2 minutes, & it gets almost crispy on top, the bottom was nice and toasted.
  5. While you’re doing that nuke the meatballs & sauce on a microwave safe plate for 2 min. (or longer if needed.)
  6. Pull the toast out. (I cut the meatballs in half with a spoon then scooped them and the sauce on to two of the slices of bread.)
  7. Top the meatballs with the shredded cheese.
  8. Put the “shake cheese” on the 3rd slice of bread.
  9. Put it back in on air fry for for 4 or 5 minutes.
  10. Pull it out, assemble it like a tower of gluttony, then slice it diagonally with a giant serrated bread knife for dramatic effect.
  11. Take a photo to share & make people hungry.

That’s it. It took a little bit of time & prep, but it was worth it.

Notes:

  • If you cook & have your own meatball or sauce recipe, of course do that.
  • Use whatever kind of cheese you want, shredded, or sliced, or whatever.
  • I would guess you can use the oven on 375°-ish on a regular setting for a bit longer times, or a counter top air fryer.
  • You could also probably do all of it in the air fryer from cooking the meatballs to melting the butter if you have the appropriate vessels.
  • If you slice it in rectangles and not triangles, you are a psychopath.

Discussion:

  • If you’re out of sausage or sub buns, or hot dog buns, what are you using? Pita? Tortilla? Soft Pretzel? Dinner Rolls? Bisquick? Crescent roll dough?
  • Please, tell me in the comments how wrong it is to use jarred sauce or add brown sugar.
  • Share with me your meatball secrets.
  • Do you like the powdery shake cheese or the fancy stuff?
  • Do you make a forbidden sandwich? What is it?
  • Is this a Meatball Club, or a Meatball Melt?

This is why I had leftover meatballs:

Conagra Ruins Christmas.


Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.


Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Nov 19
And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page:  https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces

Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
·
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.
ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸
@AiXeLsyD13
·
Dec 19
Thank you for the reply.  I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever.  Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you?

Did anyone at least try the maze?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

Teriyaki Stuff


I absolutely love the flavors in Asian food, but because of my shellfish allergy, I rarely dine at those types of restaurants because of ingredients like oyster sauce or brine shrimp as seasoning and cross contamination. I even had friends that once ordered “vegetarian” egg rolls that contained crab meat. I think it was a perfect storm of a language issue and a culture issue.

I posted this photo of a dish we make often on social media, and was asked for the recipe. I figured I would share it here too! It’s more of a method maybe than an exact recipe. My wife usually makes it with chicken instead of beef and without the chick peas.

  1. Made 4 cups  of instant rice according to the box, instead of salt in the water I used 1 teaspoon of beef bullion, set aside.
  2. Sear the steaks on high on a flat pan that can go into the oven – coat w/ EVOO, salt & pepper… about 2 minutes a side.
  3. Place a pat of butter on each steak, place in oven at 400° for about 10 minutes.
  4. Cook the chick peas in a bit of EVOO, maybe medium-high heat.  You need to keep an eye on them as they can “pop.”
  5. Add the Teriyaki sauce to the pan and let it cook, maybe take it down to medium.  I keep stirring & scraping the bottom of the pan.
  6. Get the water boiling for under a steamer basket.  I usually add onion powder and garlic powder.
  7. Take out the steaks and let them rest on a cutting board.
  8. Steam the vegetables above the boiling water once it starts to go… I usually wait for them to turn a bright color then turn it off as I like them still to be a bit crunchy.  Carrots on bottom, broccoli in the middle, peppers on top seems to make the cook the most evenly.
  9. Cut the steaks into strips, I try to go on an angle so they’re nice & tender.
  10. Add the steak to the chick peas & Teriyaki… don’t overcook the steak.  It should still be a little pink in the middle when you add it.
  11. Fluff the rice.
  12. I use garlic powder, onion powder, season all, Mrs. Dash, salt, & pepper throughout on everything.
  13. Plate the rice, veggies, beef/chickpeas/sauce and enjoy!

It all sounds much more complicated than it is.  You can cook he steaks on a countertop grill or cut them into strips & cook in the pan… but I tend to overcook them that way. You could, of course, also use the marinade as an actual marinade.

You could just boil the veggies too, but I feel like that takes out all the flavor and turns them to mush.  Roasting them in the oven may be delicious too, but would take a bit longer… this would be good for the chickpeas too.

If I had a wok, I’d get brave and try it all like a stir-fry. Maybe like the “white people tacos” meme, this is my version of Asian food.

I’d be interested to see what other people think if you try it out. I’d like if you shared your meals like this in the comments, so I have more stuff to try.

I am stuck on this type of La Choy Teriyaki sauce & marinade. The flavor is perfect. The “stir fry sauce” has sesame seeds in it, & I’m not a fan of the texture and hate to tempt fate with diverticulitis issues. The other ones are just OK. What’s your favorite type? Have you ever made your own?

According to Wikipedia, it seems like Teriyaki is similar to Barbecue as it seems to refer to a style of cooking as well as the sauce. Maybe I am wildly misusing the term? I just like the sauce. A lot.

It has been increasingly difficult to find. I have tweeted (𝕏eeted?) Conagra and I think they are stalling. I’m going to have to have a maze-fueled letter & email wiring campaign. I was told the sauce was discontinued by a local distributor to Giant Eagle in 2009, but have definitely found it since then. The current La Choy website doesn’t list it as a product, but the Internet Wayback Machine has it.