I guess I never did update, lots of the listings are down or read as “Temporarily Unavailable.” I would like them to read as “⚠ 404 Page Not Found.“
I did get two short emails from the offender. Thank you to Jakob Mewes for reaching out! I never did hear back from Jakob after reaching out for further details. Did you Google AiXeLsyD and/or Gasoline Dion and find me here? I’d love to know!
I did get two emails from Mr. Heppke.
From: Kurt Heppke <mail@kurtheppke.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 30, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Subject: Re: Unauthorized Use of My Artwork in Your Book – DMCA & Cease-and-Desist
To: Eric Carroll <red@acted.yo>
Dear Mr. Carrol,
I'm sorry for using your trademarked images and I really want to apologize for that. I took the images from Pinterest and did not check the license. I made a mistake.
I have requested today that the book be stopped selling immediately and will send you confirmation as soon as I have it.
I hereby give you written confirmation that I will no longer use your work.
I also confirm the immediate cessation of any further use or reproduction of your work in any form.
I am truly sorry for the trouble I have caused you.
I would like to make one more point about your WordPress post " Stolen Mazes! (Someone took my art.)". It gives the impression that I have flooded half the world with my books. No. I've sold the book 8 times in the last 3 years. So I think the damage is limited.
That's not an excuse!
Anyway, thank you for your patience and kindness and I will definitely change my behavior when it comes to checking licenses.
Best regards
Kurt Heppke
---
Kurt Heppke
Tel: +## ### ########
Mail: mail@kurtheppke.com
Homepage: www.kurtheppke.com
And, then this, referencing the photo below:
From: Kurt Heppke <mail@kurtheppke.com>
Date: Tue, Jul 1, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Subject: Re: Unauthorized Use of My Artwork in Your Book – DMCA & Cease-and-Desist
To: Eric Carroll <red@cted.yo>
Dear Mr. Carroll,
I have withdrawn my book "Labyrinthe" from sale and would like to inform you of this, as promised:
Labyrinthe
Leichte Schwere und ganz ganz Schwere
ISBN-13: 9783756233120
Verlag: Books on Demand
Erscheinungsdatum: 30.06.2022
the German sentence:
"Wir haben Ihr Buch wunschgemäss für Bestellungen aus dem Buchhandel gesperrt. Auch die Listung für den internationalen Vertrieb und der E-Book-Vertrieb wurden damit automatisch ausgesetzt."
means:
"We have blocked your book from bookstore orders as requested. The listing for international distribution and e-book distribution have also been automatically suspended."
I would like to apologize once again and thank you for your patience and kindness.
Best regards
---
Kurt Heppke
Tel: +## ### ########
Mail: mail@kurtheppke.com
Homepage: www.kurtheppke.com
And this was in there:
✍️
I did not reply, as I am still salty about it. A little theft is still theft. I know Joe Wos sent something over to the effect of a Cease & Desist or DMCA, and Brian Hilbert commented on my last post. I never did get a comment from Sean C. Jackson. Not sure how many other maze artists were robbed. I never did track any others down.
I’m sadly still morbidly curious to get my hands on a copy of this outrage. Share your stories of art theft in the comments, or comment here if your stuff was also uncredited in this book!
Inspired by the comments on a reddit post, I wanted to dig into some pre-“punk” proto-punk. I set Gemini, ChatGPT, Perplexity, & Copilot to the task as I’m fascinated by their ability to parse & compile information if prompted accurately. (I’m also fascinated my their penchant to provide completely incorrect or even made-up information. Some time I will have to blog about my experiment in having them search restaurant menus in an area to see if they serve shellfish. Copilot recommended some seafood places, so clearly it wants to kill me.)
I added my own stuff that some of them disagreed with, but it is my list after all. 🤣 Going back to little Richard and including Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” were points of contention, as I would expect from a conversation with people.
Music snobs aficionados, audiophiles, and punk rock gatekeepers will argue all day every day about the origin of punk… but for me, to be clear, it’s the moment that the Ramones’ self-titled album dropped. So, with that in mind I gave the language models this prompt:
There is and always will be constant debate, but if we agree for the premise of this exercise that the Ramones self-titled debut album was the first punk album… What are 25 songs that should belong on a proto-punk or punk precursor playlist?
I would assume bands that get mentioned as the progenitors would most likely include The Kinks, the Sonics, Link Wray, The Stooges, the MC5, the Velvet Underground, New York Dolls, & more I’m sure to be missing. Maybe even the band Death who hailed from Detroit MI?
All songs on the list should have been released before April 23, 1976… and be listed in order if release date by single or album, whichever dropped first.
This has been corrected for my typically egregious spelling/typing/lack-of-proofreading errors. After tossing the rules to the wind, keeping to the spirit of punk rock, we arrived here:
“Little Demon” – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins (1956)
“Tutti Frutti” – Little Richard (1955)
“Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On” – Jerry Lee Lewis (1957)
“Rumble” – Link Wray (1958)
“La Bamba” – Ritchie Valens (1958)
“Love Me” – The Phantom (1958)
“Louie Louie” – The Kingsmen (1963)
“Surfin’ Bird” – The Trashmen (1963)
“Baby Let Me Take You Home” – The Animals (1964)
“House of the Rising Sun” – The Animals (1964)
“I’m Crying” – The Animals (1964)
“You Really Got Me” – The Kinks (1964)
“Gloria” – Them (1964)
“I Can’t Explain” – The Who (1964)
“Dirty Water” – The Standells (1966)
“My Generation” – The Who (1965)
“Strychnine” – The Sonics (1965)
“I’m a Man” – The Yardbirds (1965)
“We Gotta Get Out of This Place” – The Animals (1965)
“96 Tears” – ? & The Mysterians (1966)
“Wild Thing” – The Troggs (1966)
“Complication” – The Monks (1966)
“Psychotic Reaction” – Count Five (1966)
“Pushin’ Too Hard” – The Seeds (1966)
“7 and 7 Is” – Love (1966)
“I’m Not Like Everybody Else” – The Kinks (1966)
“You’re Gonna Miss Me” – The 13th Floor Elevators (1966)
“Talk Talk” – The Music Machine (1966)
“I’m Waiting for the Man” – The Velvet Underground (1967)
“Doctor Please” – Blue Cheer (1968)
“Sister Ray” – The Velvet Underground (1968)
“Fire” – The Crazy World of Arthur Brown (1968)
“Jigsaw Puzzle” – The Rolling Stones (1968)
“Kick Out the Jams” – MC5 (1969)
“I Wanna Be Your Dog” – The Stooges (1969)
“Little Doll” – The Stooges (1969)
“TV Eye” – The Stooges (1970)
“Paranoid” – Black Sabbath (1970)
“Get It On” – T. Rex (1971)
“School’s Out” – Alice Cooper (1972)
“Suffragette City” – David Bowie (1972)
“Raw Power” – Iggy & The Stooges (1973)
“Search and Destroy” – The Stooges (1973)
“Personality Crisis” – New York Dolls (1973)
“Jet Boy” – New York Dolls (1973)
“Urban Guerrilla” – Hawkwind (1973)
“Violence” – Mott the Hoople (1973)
“Cum On Feel the Noize” – Slade (1973)
“Editions of You” – Roxy Music (1973)
“Ooh La La” – Faces (1973)
“Subway Train” – New York Dolls (1974)
“Hey Joe” – Patti Smith Group (1975)
“Piss Factory” – Patti Smith (1975)
“Roxette” – Dr. Feelgood (1976)
“The Next Big Thing” – The Dictators (1975)
“Chez Maximes” – The Hollywood Brats (1976)
“After Eight” – Neu! (1975)
“Ghost Rider” – Suicide (1977)
“Little Johnny Jewel” – Television (1975)
“30 Seconds Over Tokyo” – Pere Ubu (1975)
“Burn My Eye” – Radio Birdman (1976)
“Politicians in My Eyes” – Death (1976)
“Cherry Bomb” – The Runaways (1976)
“Roadrunner” – The Modern Lovers (1976)
“She Cracked” – The Modern Lovers (1976)
“Shake Some Action” – Flamin’ Groovies (1976)
“Blank Generation” – Richard Hell & the Voidoids (1977)
“Anarchy in the U.K.” – The Sex Pistols (1976)
“Sonic Reducer” – Dead Boys (1977)
“Neat Neat Neat” – The Damned (1977)
“Chinese Rocks” – Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers (1977)
“Psycho Killer” – Talking Heads (1977)
I used Tune My Music to import it to Spotify from a text file, then copy to Amazon Music from there. I tried to go to Amazon first, but it messed up quite a bit of the songs. I did have to add “7 and 7 Is” by Love manually as it shows as “Seven and Seven Is” on Spotify. It weirdly plopped a Bob Marley song in that spot. Amazon was full of weird covers and the wrong songs when trying to import from text.
So, what do you think of the list? What’s missing? What needs added? Are my parameters skewed? Do you not accept anything past the date of what parameters were set? What obscure band that 14 people heard at the time is missing from this list? Don’t come at me with the Sex Pistols over the Ramones. Should we whittle it back to 25? Only have 1 song per artist? Come at me with healthy discourse.
So, I recently got an interesting message via my contact form:
I did write back, but have yet to receive a reply. I would like to thank you Jakob, for reaching out! Not sure how you found me, but then again maybe I am sure as the one stolen maze is kind of highly specific in subject matter, but we’ll get to that.
I did do some light Googling though, like a modern-day super lazy Sherlock Holmes (or at least Dick Tracy). The ever-so-helpful auto AI summary was actually kind of enlightening…
Yeah. That one past stuck out.
“He finds inspiration for his books by browsing graphic portals and libraries.”
I take that to mean “Bruh finds shit on Pinterest or Google image search and steals it to put into his books.”
Mr. Heppke has a website, and apparently several books. I know that print-on-demand can be looked down upon by “real” publishers, and these are considered “low content” books, but theft is theft.
I know I have pinned them in the past, so they may be floating around there too. There are probably about 100 people on the planet who have heard, saw, heard about, or remember my old punk band, AiXeLsyD. Why take that maze? Our logo is right there beside a terrible drawing of my 1986 Buick SkyHawk. Weird. Also, it name drops Sheetz & Wendy’s as places to not stop (as well as a nudie bar). They may have a harder copyright infringement case than me? 🤣 I’m sure the maze is much older than 2012. The quality of the scan & the coloring is BAD.
I have thought about collecting all my old stuff for a book… but the thought of checking to see if they’re passable & providing solutions is overwhelming, and now that I put out You Can See Yourself Out, I feel like I have a level of quality that I need to maintain. Drawing the mazes & posting them has always kind of been a creative outlet & stress relief for me. I think I’d need to re-scan the pile of stuff that I have, and the stuff that I just posted to social media with phone pictures if I were to do it right… and include solitions.
I’m not doing art to get rich, or even make a living… but if I can fund keeping this blog AiXeLsyD13.com, and buy some art supplies, that would be awesome. I have made tens of dollars off of my books and merch. That’s not a complaint by any means, but some dude across the globe shouldn’t be making money off of my art. (As an aside, check this shit out! Art theft is rampant, and following @kilkennycat_art on Threads has opened my eyes to it.)
I’m unsure of my next step. Is reaching out directly to Norderstedt Books on Demand and/or Kurt Heppke directly via email with some sort of cease and desist the way to go? Is that at all official? Is Google Translate even gonna get it right?
I don’t have any written verbiage here about my mazes being copyrighted, but I do have dated posts, and I think copyright is implied with any created works… no? I have no idea how any of it works really within the US, let alone internationally & specifically in Germany.
It also looks like this damn thing is available on more than a few sites:
At any rate, I implore you to by mazes (or any art) from the artist through their official channels… or enjoy the many free mazes that are put out there by all of us.
So, Cease-and-Desist email or letter? DMCA Takedown? Both? Lawyer up? I’m assuming there is not much to financially recover with print-on-demand sales. I just don’t want anyone making money off of my art other than myself.
OK, this isn’t about the Specials’ song. This is about a local sub chain. Or maybe it’s not a chain. I have no idea. My world is upside down. Well, OK, not really. But my interest is piqued. (It’s like the Vincent’s Pizza saga.)
I grew up frequenting two Rudy’s locations… the one in Monroeville, and the one in Holiday Park. Two of my aunts worked at the one in Holiday Park. I took taekwondo lessons a few doors down in the 80s. We’d frequent the one in Monroeville if we were out by where my dad worked. I had always assumed the one in Monroeville was the original, and the others just came later.
Rudy’s Subs Collage
There were ones in Penn Hills & McMuarry for a bit that I dined at, too. They all seemed very similar. Threads taught me today that there was one in Braddock Hills that I never knew about. Are there any others that I’m missing?
Then, I also just learned about the Rudy’s in Swissvale. Bruh seems adamant that he is the original Rudy making subs around here. Is it connected to all the other similarly logo-ed Rudy’s? The name is listed differently on a few sites, but it looks like it may officially be Rudy Martino’s Original House of Submarines. Again, no real website, but they are on Google.
When I think of subs in Swissvale, I think of the Triangle. My dad used to bring home a Battleship for supper occasionally. Also, Uncle Sam’s & Peppi’s top the list for a great sandwich… And Carhop’s. They had a few locations and are back to one, too. I’m getting sidetracked here, though.
Does anyone know the Rudy’s story? Is there animosity between the Holiday Park & Monroeville locations? What happened to all the other ones? Is either connected to the Rudy’s in Swissvale.
Am I going to have to write some emails and Facebook messages to do some sleuthing? I did ask Gemini, Perplexity, & ChatGPT… but their answers are dubious.
So, spill it if you know what’s up! Drop your favorite Rudy’s locations & orders (or other favorite sub shops) in the comments! I always liked the Rudy’s cheeseburger sub, cheesesteak, and the Italian. I’d get breaded mushrooms from the one in Holiday Park a lot, too.
Teriyaki Stuff [November 19, 2023] Why I want this sauce.
La Choy Teriyaki Terror [December 8, 2023] · I sent a maze to La Choy (Conagra) to literally illustrate my fristration at not being able to find their sauce.
So, I guess I had no idea that AI music was as advanced as it is. I assumed the stuff I saw on social medial was from paid or sophisticated programs. I have been monkeying casually with text prompts at ChatGPT or Meta AI, and image generators at DALL-E 2, Craiyon, & in the PicsArt app for a while. Luma AI even animates photos in the creepiest way possible. I have recently started messing with Google’s Gemini, too.
While the first two AI song generators that popped up when I googled did not require me to download an app or pay any money, I was able to have them bang out a song in less than a minute. The second one even let me insert lyrics, so I used ChatGPT & Gemini to write lyrics. Of course I chose punk rock, and the subject matter was just me poorly describing the blog. This stuff is wild.
The prompt was: “World (and Lunar) Domination” a punk rock song about drawing mazes and writing goofy letters.
For some reason, I can’t seem to embed these ones. 🤷
AI Music Factory automatically spits out 2 songs from the same prompts.
All of the songs are generic pop punk, street punk, and a weird attempt at some uncanny valley-ish horns. They are formulaic pop punk, of which I could certainly be accused of doing when I was actively playing in bands. The weird part is that is not all that dissimilar from my actual creative output. The lyrics have some interesting ideas & hooks too, if I’m being honest. Does that mean I am a terrible and generic songwriter? Perhaps my lack of commercial success in that area speaks to that. 😆
Self-depreciating humor aside, I feel like I have been involved in the creation of some fun, silly, & kick-ass music, and I was never really doing it for financial gain or recognition. It was an itch that I needed to scratch. I needed to make art via punk rock.
The above songs are derivative of a thousand different punk bands, but the one vocalist sounds oddly like Bad Religion. All of it is stealing from something though. Is it scouring the whole internet? Is it using Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, Apple Music, or Amazon Music? Is it creeping on hard drives in home studios or at record companies?
I feel like this is really close to having the ability to be passed off as a real band. It even reminds me of Crotchduster,
Is it theft, or inspiration? I would not have picked up a guitar and tried to write punk rock songs if I had not heard the Ramones & the Misfits doing what they did. Led Zeppelin’s entire catalog is arguably not entirely derivative of everything that passed through Jimmy Page’s earholes. (I mean, George Lucas did the same thing with Star Wars – it was just Flash Gordon, The Seven Samurai, The Hidden Fortress, & Dune.)
It can be argued that the music is soulless. I get that. I need music to move me in some way, in order to feel that connection. There are already lots of human generated songs out there that don’t really hit me that way. It’s terrible when a song evokes no emotion. I feel that way about Nickelback, even though it’s unironically cool to like them now. Ha ha.
In keeping with the theme of this post, I also used a bunch of AI image generators with various prompts about my blog, and got some weird weird wild stuff. None of them seem to accurately display text whatsoever at all… but the compositions, colors, & design choices are interesting. Is is stolen work though?
It was said that Robin Williams was notorious for stealing bits, but I have read/heard that he was always “on,” and just pulling in ideas and churning out jokes at a constant speed… he may not have realized that his thoughts weren’t entirely his own. But then again, were they? Everything we think, say, & do is a response to our own audio & visual input. (And, all the other senses.)
If AI is putting something out, and the way it “senses” is browsing the internet, what’s wrong with that? Is it stealing because it is not alive? Is it just a tool like a paintbrush or a calculator? Is AI song generation different than loops or sampling or guitar pedals that drastically change a tone?
Images generated by various AI image generators, with prompts pretty much just describing my blog.
🤘🐈⬛🎸
Because every single one of my thoughts also has an incomprehensibly tangential aside, I just did this as the idea came to me while blogging:
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖌 – I had ChatGPT write those lyrics a long time ago to be silly. It deleted the chat from the history as it found the content to perhaps be “inappropriate.” Luckily I grabbed a screenshot. I just used my last freebie at AI Music Factory to make this, and unlike with the other songs, I actually downloaded the mp3’s because I find it wildly amusing. AI plays guitar better than Kerry King.
“FEED THE KITTEN” album art by Meta AI“Feed The Kitten” by ChatGPT
So, did I just write a song? No. But… I had the idea for one. It, much like my own artistic output, was a silly idea. (I was always sad that Gasoline Dion never completed songs that we were working on, including but not limited to “667, Across the Street From the Beast” and the ever poetic line “Let me put my meat hook in your beef curtains.”)
I just let my 10yo daughter hear the metal kitten song. She laughed and said it sounds like everything else I listen to (she’s a Taylor Swift fan). When I told her it was AI generated in under a damn minute & that ChatGPT wrote the lyrics, her eyes got wide and was all “That’s not good…”
She immediately understood the implications. Anyone could make a hit album. We could all be Milli Vanilli. Even better, you could probably create a video avatar of an artist or band. I haven’t delved into AI generated video past the tiny Luma AI clips.
Would using AI as a muse, or to flesh out partial lyric ideas be “wrong?” Are we in an era like the early days of sampling where soon someone will figure out how to give artists royalties for music or artwork being fed into AI? I know there are already cases out there. I also know you can’t copyright AI images. Not sure about music, though? I know Mötley Crüe was accused of using AI to write songs.
Will commercials, social media, radio, TV, & movies forgo traditional composers and just make their own jingles, scores, & soundtracks?
It was fun to play with, but do I like it enough that I will pay for it? I doubt it. I can’t think of a practical use for myself other than making a fictional band or something… and who would want AI generated crap content right now? If I paid to put it on streaming services (if you can even copyright it), how would that generate income or even be sustainable? Live shows would be (for now) out of the question. I don’t think it would “feel good” to put that out, like it does to release actual music you created. Maybe kids will dig AI music in the future… or our eventual robot overlords might.
Because I can’t stop, Luma AI animations of AI generated images:
OK, I went back & messed with Udio again. I found where you could pop in the kitten lyrics from Chat GPT. I do not like the output nearly as much, but it’s still pretty wild:
So, what are your thoughts on AI generated stories, art, music, & video? Are we in the wild west? Do you use any of it? If you do use it, what sites/apps, and to what end? Please, hit up the comments!
Oh yeah, those sites automatically generated videos I could download too.
Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.
From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ] To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.
Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.
We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.
Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.
Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.
From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com] Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM To: [me] Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.
From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.
If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.
From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.
Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.
We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.
From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade To: [me]
Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.
Melissa (Fresh Thyme)
Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST
Dear Eric,
Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.
I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.
Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer! Melissa Fresh Thyme Customer Care
Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.
You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.
I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.
I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.
I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.
Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.
The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?
I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.
Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.
I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.
I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.
I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!
Your Hangry Fan, -Eric aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com
Help me on my quest!
I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).
I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.
What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?
I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:
So, @ConagraBrands… how can you (in good conscience) call both of these #Teriyaki sacue with the only tiny disction on the label being one is a marinade & one is for stir fry… while one tastes like kissing an angel & the other like licking a demon's butthole? #LaChoypic.twitter.com/NvNohQ750J
I would love to hear your thoughts on how they or I could have handled the situation better.
I don’t feel they owe me anything at this point.
Where should we go to buy a couch? Are any furniture stores better than the others?
My requirements are:
It must be delivered, I don’t want to pick it up or assemble anything.
I want to see it & sit in it first. (Our current couch was bought online, sight-unseen, and is a dud.)
The store has to be able to actually hit promised delivery dates.
I’m stuck on a nice HIGH back after seeing a few.
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Here’s the latest from Levin:
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Eric,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I apologize that we failed to get your correct chair delivered to you during this time. I am the person that called your wife about the Facebook post. I wanted to reach out to you to apologize and see what I could do to help the situation. When we fail to meet our customers’ expectations, we want to make it right.
I know you said you weren’t sure what we could do at this point, but I feel we need to take ownership of our mistake and acknowledge your feelings. On behave of Levin Furniture I apologize for the mistake and the inconvenience this caused you during your recovery. That is a true heart felt apology, I treat customers the way I would want to be treated. I think sometimes we get desensitized and need to be reminded that people have other things going on in their lives and just owning our mistakes and saying I am sorry can make a difference.
I know you said you do not want to shop with a us. But if you would like to give us another chance in the future, please let me know and I will see we take care of you. If there is anything I can assist you with, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manager
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Should I write/call back?
Actual footage from a staff meeting about my recliner.
Well, I was done with Levin. Then they emailed a customer satisfaction survey. That triggered me again. Here’s what I sent back. Then I dug up as many corporate names as I could, and their email syntax. I know some landed, because about three minutes after I hit send they were calling my wife.
Here’s what I said:
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Hello Friends,
I recently had what we’ll call a horrendous experience with Levin Furniture. I had vented about it online, and moved on. Until my wife forwarded me the customer satisfaction survey. That took some immense lack of self-awareness on your part, so I am hoping with this missive to make you a bit more aware. The following is what I typed up & sent along with the 3 1-star answers to the survey. I thought I would look up some email addresses and get it in front of as many eyes as I could. I will also copy the salesman that my wife dealt with who never replied to her email inquiring about delivery.
Already sent was the following:
On Saturday September 9th, my wife & son went to Levin and a few other furniture stores to purchase a powered recliner for me, to help with post colo-rectal surgery recovery.
Looking online at our options and various price ranges, I knew I wanted a chair that had a cup holder, phone charger, and storage pockets… as I was not sure how mobile I would be post-op, and was quite frankly uncomfortable going into surgery.
I would have gone to view them myself, but that happened to be in-between my second and third ER trips & hospital admissions in 4 weeks stemming from a burst pocket of diverticulitis and a nasty ensuing abscess and infection. I was in poor health, and in no mood to deal with furniture sales tactics. I can even provide photos of the CT scans and the drain sticking out of my right but cheek if you like to be grossed out.
My wife ordered an Ashley Model Next-Gen DuraPella Power Recliner SKU # 2200413, mainly because Levin promised to deliver before La-Z-Boy & Value City could on very similarly optioned & priced items. Remember that “before” qualifier as you digest (pun intended) the following paragraphs.
In hindsight, it was a largely false promise on the part of Levin, one that if I were a pessimist would assume is a regular practice on the part of your sales team.
The chair was promised to be delivered by Sept. 19th. That Tuesday came & my wife logged in to the website to see the delivery was now scheduled for Thursday Sept. 21st, and we had no communication on that change from Levin.
On Thursday, my wife called the delivery number, then the store to ask about the chair’s whereabouts. She talked to an Anna who said the original salesperson, Jared Chambers, was “new” and “didn’t know he had to schedule the delivery.”
My wife also emailed jchambers@levinfurniture.com on Sept. 21st to inquire about the delivery, but as of yet has not received a reply. We can forward that unanswered email if needed.
Despite this excuse smelling of total and absolute bovine feces, Anna told my wife that they could “squeeze us in” that Saturday the 23rd for delivery. Were we the first order where this was discovered? If not, why wasn’t it rectified sooner? Does Levin train all new employees this poorly? You don’t really have to answer that last one. It was rhetorical.
Saturday the 23rd came and two nice men delivered a recliner to us. Once they brought it in & put it together, I noticed that it does not have the cup holder, phone charger, or storage pockets. It happened to be an Ashley Model 5930213 Power Recliner @ $1349.99, completely not what we ordered. It was not the same model, SKU #, or price.
The guys sent photos to their boss, their boss contacted Levins, & Anna called my wife.
We tipped the guys $20 and they took the nice new recliner away.
In that conversation with my wife, Anna then blamed an incorrect tag or sku # being on the display model in the showroom. She also used the phrasing that it was “no one’s fault.” This incensed me, as it obviously was the fault of Levin employees on multiple levels. Who tagged the chair with the wrong tag? Who double-checks their work? The salesman did not confirm that what he was ordering matched the floor model? This is not “no one’s fault,” this is a tragic comedy of careless errors.
My wife asked Anna at that time if we could purchase the floor model, as time was of the essence. Anna said she would call back.
We went to Big Lots! in Washington PA that evening to look at couches. Yes, we need a couch, and Levin is off the table for what I believe to be quite obvious reasons.
Anna had still not called my wife as of around 6:00 PM, so my wife called her. Anna said we could have the floor model if we came and got it. Now, I am in poor health with restrictions on lifting, my kids are young, we have a vehicle classed as a station wagon, and my wife is a strong woman, but I would not ask her to move a recliner herself.
You would think the salesman and or store manager eager to make good on a sale, would have delivered the damn thing in a pickup or something.
Customer service is dead.
No concessions on price were offered from Anna. My wife asked for some form of compensation for our aggravation, and at first the only offer was to refund the original delivery fee… for the WRONG CHAIR. Crazy us to assume it would be a given to not pay for that. I believe we got half off of the 2nd delivery, and were refunded the difference between the original incorrect, more expensive chair, and the correct less expensive one.
If your profit margins are so small that you cannot automatically offer a few hundred dollars off on this purchase or even on a future purchase, you perhaps need to rethink your entire business model.
The correct recliner was finally delivered on Tuesday Oct. 3rd. This was a full two weeks after it was promised, after the dates when we could have received a recliner from your esteemed competitors, and 3 days after I was released from the hospital.after surgery.
Did I mention that we set our old chair out for the trash the Thursday night prior to the initial incorrect Saturday delivery?
I would like to ask you to imagine having a foot-long section of your colon and rectum removed, your remaining section of colon & rectum stapled together, a wound vac hanging on your side connected to a tube from an incision above your belly button, and a bulbous drain hanging out of your side right at your waistline.
That makes sitting anywhere uncomfortable. Imagine, if you would, a nice stressless recliner to ease the situation… because I can’t.
Some other person did leave a voicemail for my wife after I left a frustration-venting rant & a comment or two on Facebook, but that was the night of my colon-cleanse. If you’ll forgive the mental image, we already had enough crap to put up with.
Honestly though, for that attention-grabbing shenanigans to be the ONLY thing that triggered some sort of response, you were well past the too little/too late threshold.
Your people skills are abhorrent at the sales and service levels, and your corporate level customer service is merely reactionary to online “bad press” only to save face, not serve actual customer satisfaction & retention.
I actually applaud your testicular fortitude in reaching out with a customer satisfaction survey. It either takes massive ignorance or massive swagger. And you already know where I believe you fall on the scale.
I now intend to send this to every level of your corporation that has eyes. May the best of them find work elsewhere, and may the worst of them stay to drive you further into the ground than the last time you were there.
Thank you for your time, and may whatever deity you ascribe to have mercy on your soul,
I neglected to note we tipped the 2nd set of delivery guys $20 too. But, if they don’t even pretend to care about the customers, they certainly don’t care about the employees, right? While we’re on the subject… was that appropriate, or cheap? I try to check in on these things occasionally.
After Kelly Maytas at Levin left my wife a Voicemail, I got this email…
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Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to us and letting us know about your experience. We aim to deliver a great experience and are disheartened when we don’t. We will use your feedback to make us better.
I apologize for the inconvenience and the stress this has caused you. I personally would like to speak to you about your experience and respectfully apologize and take ownership of our failure to deliver a great experience. I know you need to rest, but at your convenience can you please give me a call at 330-###-####.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manage
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I took the time to send this back…
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Thank You Ms. Maytas,
Not sure if you got just the survey response, or the email that I tried to send to a handful of people after researching names and email syntax online.
I am really not sure what you can do at this point for us.
I suggest you get your Robinson store in order… from tagging furniture properly, to sales reps understanding the product, your procedures, or setting up deliveries in a timely manner, and customer service reps that understand what apologizing really is. Only then can you maybe knock it out of the park for future customers.
We are in desperate need of a new couch, but not that desperate. I feel like your team has not only burned but nuked the proverbial bridge, and I concede that I worked on that from my side of things also. I am not a fan of phone calls, I prefer the written word. I also prefer retailers that automatically offer discounts on current or future sales without having to be asked. Again, we’re past that.
Unless you’d like to suggest a competitor that will actually deliver a quality product on time?
Good luck to you in righting the ship at Levins, as your tenacity in reaching out speaks to the fact that you will stay the course! I wish that we could have dealt with you on the store level instead of when it reached a wild level of ridiculousness (again, the online shenanigans are all on me – but it shouldn’t have taken that to garner attention).
I appreciate your time in reaching out! I like you, unlike your seemingly dimwitted and soul-crushed coworkers. Perhaps they need a pizza party or two for morale?
World (and Lunar) Domination 