Tag Archives: google

McSatisfaction

Posted on by Standard 8

So, have you read my “day in the life of McDonald’s #5834” blog yet?  If not, read that one first, or this will make absolutely no sense.  Not that there was much sense to start with.

In that email, I mentioned the McDonald’s in Canonsburg with a similar drive-thru setup as an example of how things ought to be run.  Apparently you can’t always assume that people are going to do the right thing when waiting in line or following lines painted on the ground are concerned.  Heh, that is so ridiculous, I need to copy & paste it for effect.

Apparently you can’t always assume that people are going to do the right thing when waiting in line or following lines painted on the ground are concerned.

McDonald's on Urbanspoon Done laughing?  OK, let’s move on.  There is someone who works for McDonald’s that gives a damn.  He is the manager of the McDonald’s that also serves as a memorial to Perry Como, Bobby Vinton, and the Four Coins.  Mr. Scott Kausky not only took the time to write back to me once, but twice… and get this… both replies came in the same day of my email to him!

This man is to be applauded for his efforts.  I’m waiting.  Please.  Clap.

OK, first, my note to him…

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2010
To: skausky33@verizon.net
Subject: Fwd: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)

Hello Mr. Kausky,

I would like to thank you for the inclusion of your email address at the top of your McDonald’s receipts.  It is a policy that your brothers-in-franchise at the McDonald’s in Beechview on West Liberty Avenue have recently adopted.  Sadly, though, for them it is useless.  I have written to them over a week ago, to no avail.  I believe that they’re beyond reach via email… or that they just really don’t care about customer satisfaction.  I hope that’s not the case with you!

The reason I’m writing to you is that I mentioned your restaurant in my email to them as an example of how to operate… and wanted to hear your thoughts on the issue.  Pehaps you can review the email below and come up with a few ideas.

Do you have any contact with the managers at that location?  Perhaps you can be the Jedi Master to their Padawan.

Thank you in advance for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!

-Eric

…which was of course followed by the original email.

His 1st reply…

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
reply-to skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 21, 2010
subject Re: Fwd: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by srs.bis.na.blackberry.com

Eric

Its unfortunately the store I operate is privately owned. I have pride in the store that I run and this is why I provide my email address. The email get sent directly to my blackberry that I pay for. This is not something that is provided by my operator or McDonald. I care about my customers as they are the ones who pay my check and when I have unsatisfied guests it affects my bottom line as well as my crew.

Mcdonalds.com will also have a guest satisfaction email as well as a 800 number which should get you to someone that is involved with that particular location. Once a complaint or praise is posted it is then emailed to the operator or supervisor of that location and they should respond within 24 hours. This is the policy mcdonalds enforces on the private owner stores. I also copied your email to the owner of my store to see if he can get you in contact with the appropriate person.

I apologize that your having these problems and will assist you to try to fix it.

Thanks for being a loyal mcdonalds customer.

Scott Kausky

His 2nd reply…

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 21, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by verizon.net

Eric,

I have to apologize again, when reading your email, my blackberry only showed half of your email  I’m at home now and read the full thing.  I have also copied Linda Cumer, who is my business consultant.  She is paid by McDonald’s Corporation.  She will have better contact then anyone to work on resolving these issues.  In reference to the traffic cones, I appreciate the fact that you like the ideas.  I had a customer a month ago give me an hour lecture on why I should eliminate them.  I made the decision to have them in place to keep the cars lined up.  I would also install a q line like you see at an amusement park to keep the same thing happening on the inside with guests who try to cut lines, but was told I wasn’t allowed.  I hope I have assisted you and us to get these problems corrected.  Please let me know either way if someone does or doesn’t contact you because I want the Arches to shine even if I do only have a small role in it.

Thanks Again,

Scott Kausky
General Manager

Genius.

Mr. Kausky is obviously intelligent, thoughtful, and full of great ideas.  He ought to be working for Chick-fil-A!  I can excuse the somewhat confusing email via Blackberry, and hs ignoring my Star Wars reference.

Why shouldn’t there be lines like in the bank (or Burger King or Wendy’s) so that the actual next person is next, not the a-hole who cut in front of them?

I really can’t express my drive-thru complaints successfully unless you’ve ever been to that type of drive through.  I really need to work on some illustrations to convey the full extent of my frustration.  The customer that wanted the cones removed is an assclown.  The only reason he  (or she) would want them removed is so he (or she) could cut in front of others in line.  What makes him (or her) so special?  Does he (or she) also park in handicapped spaces?  I bet he (or she) does.  I would like to hear just one rational reason for their removal.  I bet it can’t be found.

Of course, these only touch on the host of problems at the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s.

This guy wants it resolved though, as a true honest-to-goodness hard worker with a correctly aligned set of values where it comes to running a business and how to treat people.  I started this off on a goofy note, but hate to mess with this guy… he really wants an issue resolved.  And now, dammit, so do I.  He explained his point of view, his situation, and told me that he was forwarding the message to two separate individuals to try and see if he can get something resolved that doesn’t affect him in any way whatsoever.  Scott Kausky is a champion among men, I tell you.

Honestly, up until this point I saw it going nowhere.  I mean, did you see the comments on my other post?  No one gets good service there, ever has, or most likely ever will.

We have, however, learned some invaluable and interesting corporate mantras from the big McD.  Did anyone else find these statements to stand out?

  • “Once a complaint or praise is posted it is then emailed to the operator or supervisor of that location and they should respond within 24 hours. This is the policy mcdonalds enforces on the private owner stores.” –  O, RLY? Hmm.  They definitely didn’t meet that.  We’re going on 336 hours pretty soon here.  So that McDonald’s is poorly run on a whole bunch of different levels.
  • “I would also install a q line like you see at an amusement park to keep the same thing happening on the inside with guests who try to cut lines, but was told I wasn’t allowed.” Wasn’t allowed? Ridiculous.  The general manager doesn’t have the power to create order out of chaos in his own restaurant?  McNazis, I tell you.  I’ve been there at lunch time.  This would improve the line situation immensely… especially with multiple entrances.  McCorporate McChaos.  Shame on you, McDonald’s, for keeping this man down.  To me, this says McDonald’s doesn’t care if people cut in line, if you’re aggrivated, or cheated.  You don’t matter.  Just your money does.

So, today we have learned some things.  We already knew that the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s hates you.  We learned that McDonald’s is overbearing and into micro-management as a general attitude.  We know now that certain stores have a blind eye turned on them, as any semblance of corporate monitoring would have them completely overhauled and/or shut down.

Most importantly, we learned that there is at least one last good man working for the McDonald’s corporation who has a strong identity with the cherished Golden Arches, and wants you to respect that identity.

Now, I really can’t wait to see where this goes form here.

A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave. – Brookline/Beechview/Dormont)

Posted on by Standard 46

Typically, when I write a crazy email, I wait for a response before I post… but I’ve had a significant lack of response on this one for over a week now, and I felt the need to post this here and perhaps refer to it in a webform submission to corporate.

McDonald's on UrbanspoonI have a love/hate relationship with McDonald’s, especially this McDonald’s.  It’s close to where I live.  The food is generally horrible for you and looks like it was assembled by Stevie Wonder, but sometimes I’m in the mood for it.  Or, sometimes I’m in a hurry, and McDonald’s still somehow equates to quick service.  It’s the only fast food joint that I pass when going in that direction other than the abysmal nearby Wendy’s.

Apparently, with the complete demolition and re-building of this McDonald’s, they decided to include a contact email address at the top of their receipts.  The email address included at the top of my most recent receipt was Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com,  so that’s where I sent my email.  Over a week has gone by, and I still haven’t received a reply.  I even copied the email to sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, who had contacted me about an earlier incident at this location.  (Although, she never did ultimately reply about my complaint… I just got an email asking what the situation was, and was given no response thereafter.)

This McDonald’s has a website at McPennsylvania.com and it lists the manager as Rick Sapko.  It doesn’t give his email address, but I did use a “contact the manager”
form there, also to no avail.  I forget Ms. Jones’ title, but I would think that the manager’s address ought to be at the top of the receipt.  Unless she’s the owner?  Also… this reminds me that Ms. Jaeger isn’t a very good customer service rep if she never got back to me about my original inquiry.

Reading all of this, I can’t see why anything in my letter below shocks or surprises me.

My email that defies all responses:

Hello,

I had sent this message over a week ago, and hadn’t had a reply, or even a “we received your email, we’ll get back to you” message when submitted by webform.  I decided to try again from a different email address…

—

Hello Ms. Jones,

I would first like to thank you for the new policy of including a contact email address at the top of your receipts!  Email is my communication tool of choice.  I find myself able to converse more effectively if I see the words written out in front of me.  The webform at the McDonald’s website is such an impersonal exchange.  It’s never satisfying to get an email that includes a reference number and a phrase to the effect of “please do not reply to this email”.  I mean, really… what other possible message could that convey besides; “We got your email, we’re ignoring it.  This response is solely an attempt to pacify you from further pursuance of your issue.”  So, to reiterate, I would like to thank you in advance for making communication so easy with the McDonald’s in Beechview.

The new McDonald’s is quite striking.  It looks like a Starbucks or Caribou Coffee from the outside.  The parking lot is absolutely gorgeous.  Although, the abandoned Jiffy Lube next door ought to be knocked down for additional parking… or you could charge people to park there instead of letting them park in your lot to go to the adjacent bar that has a new name every few years.

Inside, I feel like I’m in the Brady Bunch dining room or den though.  Somebody chose those chairs?  Really?  And then there’s the produce all over the walls, while visually appealing, isn’t exactly representative of the food you sell, is it?  I mean, I don’t see any vats of oil or cows on the wall, but there are strawberries and cherries on the wall.  How many menu items contain strawberries and cherries versus beef or chicken?

I’ve seen similar design schemes in Chick-Fil-A, Quiznos, Subway, the Pita Pit, Qdoba, and other food establishments.  I thought that McDonald’s was an innovator, not an imitator.  I’d just like to hope that the designer didn’t charge too much.  The layout and seating are infinitely better than the previous layout.  That ramp outside that led to walking through the drive-through lane was ridiculous, the seating was well, dirty…  beyond mopping & wiping-down dirty.  The bathrooms were… Well, I had written about those in the past to a Sandra Jaeger.

After all this, I still need to get to the point of my email I suppose.

This past Sunday, I had the unique opportunity to dine at the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s twice in one day.  First, in the morning, my wife & I were on our way out to the suburbs east of the city.  We decided to go through the drive through as she had a craving for an iced coffee.  I ordered the Egg McMuffin extra value meal with a Sweet Tea, and she got a Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit and the aforementioned iced coffee.  As we were sitting in the drive through lane, before the split, someone pulled in from the West Liberty Ave entrance without following the clearly marked “↰” arrow and cut directly into the outside ordering lane.  I know the McDonald’s in Canonsburg has solved this problem by using orange reflecting traffic cone type devices so it’s impossible to pull into the extra lane from the outside.  (Perhaps you could look into this solution, as people obviously cannot be trusted to “do the right thing” of their own volition.)  Once we were finally past the ordering process, we sat in the line before the pickup window as the orders in front of us were mixed up and it took seemingly forever for them to be told to move forward until it was all sorted out.

At the pickup window, we had to ask for straws as they weren’t in our bag or handed out to us with our drinks.  The kid in the window looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language after asking for them and handed them to me, one at a time, still looking like a deer in headlights.  After we were finally handed our food, my wife gave a cursory check of the bag as we drove away…  Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit?  Check.  Egg McMuffin?  Check.  Hash Brown?  Check.  Drinks?  Check.  Napkins?  No napkins, my friend.  I think we both know the grease content of your fine foods and of the need for napkins after partaking.  It’s also worth noting that there was no ketchup in the bag for my hash brown, nor was I asked if I wanted any.

As we cruised down West Liberty toward the maddening chaos that is the Liberty Tunnels, my wife let out an expletive as she graciously unwrapped my breakfast sandwich.  Apparently someone wrapped my sandwich with the appropriate wrapper, but forgot that an Egg McMuffin contains ham and a fried egg and not bacon and a creepily folded piece of rubbery yet spongy scrambled egg-like substance.  We even checked the receipt just to be sure that I did indeed order an Egg McMuffin.  According to that, I had.  Since we were on our way to a timed function and because (if you’re familiar with the road you’ll know) there was no convenient place to turn around once we were on the road anyway, I declined to go back and have the situation rectified immediately… and ate the dry spongy yellow matter and pretended to not be annoyed.

Much later in the evening, around the dinner hour, we were on our way home and decided to stop at McDonald’s again for in lieu of cooking at home or going out of our way somewhere else to get dinner.  Arguably, Wendy’s would be an option here, but have you ever been there?  They give new meaning to the word “sloth” in its application to a fast food establishment.  After all, there’s no possible way that orders could be screwed up twice in one day at the same McDonald’s with an entirely different crew, right?  Yeah, right.

I tell you, you have a stellar team if you’re competing for the “sloth” title with Wendy’s.  There looked to be nothing but chaos in the kitchen and cash register area.  No one seemed to know what was going on; not in the new counter area that was overly packed with confused waiting customers, and not the crew who were running around like chickens with their heads cut off in slow motion.  Yes.  I’ll let that image sink in.  It’s the only way I can think to describe it.  There was no pattern to the scrambling around in the kitchen, but then again, it wasn’t scrambling because that would imply speed and/or urgency where there simply was none.  I shared glances with several of the other customers, each of us asking each other with facial expressions alone…  “What is going on here?”  “Who’s in charge?”  “Is this really happening?”  I tell you, I have never felt more telepathic in my life.

Upon receiving my meal, it was clear that my chicken nuggets were cooked and cooled well before the batter-turns-to-cardboard point had been reached, even the sweet and sour sauce couldn’t disguise it.  Exasperated and bewildered by the still ridiculous amount of people waiting to order or waiting to receive their orders, I again just ate them without complaining.  Really… there were hardly any patrons sitting down in the dining area compared to the throngs of would-be consumers just waiting and hovering around the order area.

I realize that I am to blame here for not rectifying each situation immediately as it was happening, but you must understand my perplexity regarding the awesome ineptitude of two wholly different shifts at the same restaurant.  From my standpoint, that’s a 100% failure rate in the scope of one day.  I find myself continually questioning why I choose to visit this McDonald’s location, and the answer is always the same; convenience.  Unfortunately, the convenience is slipping away.  The time required to obtain a meal is not convenient.  Eating lukewarm chicken nuggets (“now” with all-white meat?  What the hell was in them before?) is not convenient.  Eating spongy rubbery folded egg stuff is not convenient.

I had hoped that with the literal demolition and rebuilding of your McFranchise, it would have also entailed a symbolic rebuilding of your team and their work ethic with an effort on getting correct orders out in a timely fashion.  Apparently my hopes have gone unrequited thus far.

I’m not asking for a free meal, or for an apology for instances that are clearly not your fault.  I am, however, asking you to please reevaluate your hiring, training, and supervisory processes, and perhaps to look into having someone observing all the time until things run more smoothly.  I’m sure that one lone day of scrutiny will point out several issues that need attention immediately. I would like to thank you for your time, and I look forward to a continued dialog on the progress of getting this McDonald’s location transformed into a well-oiled machine.

Bewildered,
-Eric
world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Have you have a similar experience there, or at any other McDonald’s?  I’d love to hear about it in the comments section below.

Chip Wars: Utz

Posted on by Standard Reply

Well, in the ongoing Chip Wars saga that isn’t ruffling as many feathers as I’d like (yet), we have a letter to & response from Utz:

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Sent: Saturday, July 03, 2010
To: info; Nutrition; tours
Subject: Crab flavored chips? Ah! (&) A tour sounds nice…

Hello Friends!

I’m writing to you today to tell you how much I enjoy Utz snacks… or rather, how much I hope to continue enjoying them!  I generally seem to buy Utz chips when we’re at Sheetz.  Sheetz is a damn fine establishment, don’t you think?  Although, I must confess, I have a love for Snyder of Berlin Honey Bar-B-Q chips and Herr’s Ketchup flavored chips that I sometimes have to fulfill at Sheetz.  I have yet to try your Grandma’s Handcooked Chips, but look forward to purchasing a bag in the near future.  Well, hopefully.  I’m sure this is cryptic to you by now, so I’ll try to do my best to explain.

There was an article the other day on Yahoo! mentioning the “best” chips, and they didn’t happen to mention any of my favorite brands.  The article was a sham, I tell you.  So, I started researching my own favorite chip brands… to compile my own (much more accurate) list.  In looking at your site, I discovered that you have “crab” flavored chips, and my heart nearly stopped.  You see, my friends, I have a severe allergy to shellfish.  I can become violently ill and go into anaphylactic shock just by eating some food that simply came into contact witht he same cooking surface or prep area as things like shrimp, crab, oysters, lobster, crayfish, clams, mussels, or calamari.

Are all of your flavors of chips processed on the same line?  Do you use just the crab juice to flavor your chips, or is it ground up pieces of crab meat?  Who on earth would want to eat crab flavored chips?  I ask because as I’m sure you’re aware, there are new regulations regarding disclosing the top allergens on food packaging, and I don’t recall any warning on your product packaging indicating that “THIS PRODUCT WAS MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT ALSO PROCESSES WHEAT, SOY, PEANUT, AND SHELLFISH INGREDIENTS” or anything of that sort.

I would like to continue enjoying your fine snacks, but you must understand that I cannot take the risk if there are crabs lurking around!  Do you have them in tanks there at the factory?  Oh, I shudder at the imagery!  You must imagine that for me, seeing a lobster tank at the grocery store is like anyone else walking into a mine field!

My wife and I enjoy factory tours…  I see form your website that you started about the same time as Snyder’s of Hanover, and you’re located in the same town.  Do you guys have a friendly rivalry, or is it bitter like Coca~Cola & Pepsi?  Do you order pizzas to each others’ office buildings leaving the other stuck with the tab?  For some reason, they seem to passively-aggressively hate on Snyder of Berlin on their product packaging.  I bet you’re glad the don’t say “SNYDER’S OF HANOVER IS IN NO WAY ASSOCIATED WITH SNYDER OF BERLIN OR UTZ, ALSO OF HANOVER.”  I wonder what the deal with that is?  It’s crazy.  At any rate, if we’re ever in the area, I’d very much like to tour both facilities!  One of our goals is to get to the Yuengling Brewery tour in Pottsville.  Perhaps we can stop in Hanover on our way over from Pittsburgh and make a weekend out of it!  It’s only about 2 hours form your location, right?  Maybe we can take in some Pennsylvania Dutch culture out that way too.

Oh well, I’d like to find out more about your fine chips, crab flavoring, and product labeling.  I look forward to hearing from you, hopefully this email finds you well after a great holiday weekend!

Inquisitively,
-Eric Aixelsyd

P.S. – Is it “Uhtz” or “Ootz”?  I’ve been saying the former, but wondering if it’s the latter.
P.P.S – Who is the girl on the bag?

Similar to my other messages, only slightly different.  Their response:

from Pam Berwager pjberwager@utzsnacks.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Tue, Jul 13, 2010
subject FW: Crab flavored chips? Ah! (&) A tour sounds nice…
mailed-by utzsnacks.com

Dear Mr. Aixelsyd:

Thank you for your email regarding our Crab Chips.  First, let me say that we do not have any shellfish in our plant, nor is there shellfish in our Crab Chips.  It is strictly seasoning.  Did you ever have Bay Seasoning?  Marylanders us this all the time.  They are quite popular, and we receive many compliments on them.  The ingredients are listed on the bag and all the nutrition information is listed on our website at www.utzsnacks.com.  Just click on the nutrition bag at the top.  Our bags are listed with allergy information and most state they are gluten free.  The ingredients are potatoes, cottonseed oil, salt, spices, dextrose, paprika, maltodextrin, sugar, onion powder, honey powder (maltodextrin, honey), disodium inosinate and disodium guanylate, citric acid.  The maltodextrin is derived from corn.  Contains no hydrogenated fats.  This is a gluten free food.

We also invite you to visit our free, self-guided tour of our potato chip making facility.

Sincerely,
Pam

Pamela J. Berwager
Utz Quality Foods, Inc.
Customer Care Representative
800-367-7629, ext. 263

“Check out our Facebook page under ‘Little Utz Girl’ and our blog at utzsnackcentral.com to find out what’s happening at Utz.”

No correction of my pronunciation?  No acknowledgment of Snyder vs. Snyder’s?  No telling me about the creepy girl on the bag?  At least I got assurance of what I already knew… that there are no crab guts on the chips.  The crab on the packaging still gives me the heebie-jeebies.  No comments on Sheetz?  I hope she’s not a Wawa loyalist.

I also like how she explains that maltodextrin is from corn and doesn’t explain disodium inosinate or disodium guanylate.  I don’t know if it’s just fancy names for salt, or something I’d rather not know about anyway.

I believe that this needs further pressing.

Chip Wars: Snyder’s of Hanover

Posted on by Standard 4

Well another response rolled in, and sadly they seem unamused.  This one’s from Snyder’s of Hanover, and I asked them about their (admittedly exaggerated) rift with Snyder of Berlin.  There’s no name attached, so the company itself wrote back to me.  Spooky!

My ramblings submitted via webform:

Hello Snyder Clan!

I’m mainly writing to tell you that I enjoy many of your fine products.  From the ridiculously delicious Snyder of Berlin Honey Bar-B-Q Potato Chips and incredibly savory Kettle-Cooked Sea Salt & Cracked Peppercorn Potato Chips to the tenaciously tangy Snyder’s of Hanover Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzel Pieces and decadent Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwich Dips.  There are just too many good products to name!

I would like to know why each of your products has a statement on the outside of the packaging that vehemently denies association with the other company.  While reading the company history on each website, it’s clear that they started out of the same company… but it does seem to be a grey area.  What happened?  Why the split?  Why the clear almost stern warning that Snyder’s of Hanover “is not associated with” Snyder of Berlin and vice-versa?

The Snyder of Berlin story seems to start in Hanover during the Civil War, and the Snyder’s of Hanover story seems to start in the 1920’s… but it appears that Snyder’s of Hanover is the older business, and that Snyder of Berlin was the offshoot?  Then the stories jump to the 1940’s, and it seems form the Snyder’s of Hanover site that the Berlin company was sold in the 1950’s… but the Snyder of Berlin page seems to not mention the sale.  Color me confused!

So clearly, there is an association… and someone form each side needs to sit down to discuss & write a common history.  Perhaps some family counseling is order?  I’m sure that if you was around, your friends could recommend you to a great therapist or clergyman who would be able to help resolve the issues of animosity between the companies where they feel the need to lash out passive-aggressive notes on product packaging trying to invalidate the others’ existence.

In the immortal words of the beaten but not broken Rodney King; “People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?…It’s just not right. It’s not right. It’s not, it’s not going to change anything. We’ll, we’ll get our justice….Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to work it out.”

While we’re on the subject, do you feel any animosity towards Utz, Herr’s, Wise, or Shearer’s?  Perhaps the Snyder of Berlin and Snyder’s of Hanover ought to align themselves together in the battle against all other regional snack chains?

My wife and I really enjoy factory tours… We mostly go to breweries, but I’m sure we would enjoy a tour if we’re ever in your area!  I hope to hear form you, and hope that this familial rift is resolved (or on its way to being resolved) in the meantime.  I really look forward to hearing your thoughts on the subject.  Good luck to your in your healing journey!

Shalom,

-Eric Aixelsyd

(Actually, I submitted the same exact message to both companies.) And, then their answer:

from Consumer Affairs consumeraffairs@snyders-han.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Thu, Jul 8, 2010
subject RE: Contact Us form has been submitted
mailed-by snyders-han.com

Eric,

It’s really basically to try and make consumers out in the market place
aware that there are 2 separate Snyder companies.

Years ago, yes we were under the same company, but there is no family
relations and Snyder’s of Berlin decided to break away and try their own
family business.

Sincerely,
Snyder’s of Hanover, Inc.

[Yawn.]

So, clearly, Snyder of Berlin is the no-good upstart… according to Snyder’s of Hanover.  Apparently they did more than “try”.  I’d say they succeeded.

I can’t believe all my crazy comments and questions went unacknowledged  I brought out the Civil War and Rodney King.  Who references Rodney King anymore?

Chip Wars: Martin’s Potato Chips

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, that article on “the best” chips really got me thinking about potato chips… so I wrote to a bunch of PA chip manufacturers, and may still reach out to some more.  Oddly, Martin’s Potato Chips is the last company to which I had written, and the first to reply.  I’m seriously going to need to give their chips a try.  Sadly, they dodged my Snyder of Berlin vs. Snyder’s of Hanover question… which in essence is the point upon which I keep hammering with these emails.  I may have to write back and press the issue.

Oh well, here’s my letter…

from ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
to Butch & David Potter info2@martinschips.com
date Tue, Jul 6, 2010
subject Where can I find Martin’s Chips in & around Pittsburgh, PA?

Hello Butch & David,

I was recently reading an Article thanks to Yahoo! Shine declaring that they had discovered the “best” potato chips.  Naturally, being from Pennsylvania… I called shenanigans on the whole thing, as they didn’t mention either Snyder of Berlin or Snyder’s of Hanover, Herr’s, Utz, or even (ugh) Wise.

I expressed my opinion in the comments section, and even blogged about it.  While in the comments section, I was intrigued by someone named Melanie mentioning your fine company.  The comment was a simple one:

Martins Potato Chips Kettle-Cooked and Bar-B-Que Waffle. Made in Thomasville, Pa. 15 minutes from York, Pa. Loved by President Clinton. Really there are no others that compare.

Now, while I can’t say for sure  that former president Bill Clinton is an expert on snack foods… he does struggle with weight issues, so apparently the man likes his food.  Although, one could certainly question his taste in other areas such as women and politics… but I digress.  Hopefully his taste in food is discerning, and not like that of a garbage disposal (as is the case with some people who struggle with said weight issues).

After a quick Google search I found your website, and find it quite refreshing that you acknowledge the area “is located in south central Pennsylvania which is considered by many to be the snack food capital of the world.”  I assume that you welcome friendly snack competition from your aforementioned competitors then.  There is room for everyone at the snack table!

I must confess that I have never had any Martin’s products.  If I’ve seen them in a local store, I must have glossed over them.  This is something that I must correct, my friends!  Do you have a list of available products and/or a list of where your products are sold in the area surrounding Pittsburgh (more specifically just South of the city).

I do like Snyder of Berlin’s Honey BAR-B-Q chips, Herr’s Ketchup chips, and non-locals BEER CHIPS.  I would count those 3 among my favorites.  Perhaps you’ve heard of them?

At any rate… I like your promotion of snack unity for the region.  Perhaps you need to teach Snyder of Berlin and Snyder’s of Hanover a lesson!  Their passive aggressive packaging indicating that there is no association between one and the other when they clearly had a common origin is laughable and preposterous.  Do you feel the need on your packaging to indicate that you’re not associated with Martin Guitars?  That you can’t eat their guitars, and you can’t play your chips as a musical instrument?  I bet not.  (They’re also from that side of the state, aren’t they?)

I look forward to hearing from you, hope you had an excellent Independence Day weekend, and are ready to be back in the snack chip world!  Thank you in advance for your time and (hopefully) a continued dialog!

Champion Chip Connoisseur,
-Eric Aixelsyd

And here’s their reply:

from Chatney Almoney calmoney@martinschips.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Thu, Jul 8, 2010
subject Where can I find Martin’s Chips in & around Pittsburgh, PA?

Good Morning Eric Aixelsyd,

Thank you for inquiring about Martin’s Potato Chips.  We are a family owned company in York County.  We use a distributer in the Pittsburg area.  He said that the closest he can get to southern Pittsburg is Smithfield on Forbes at 234 Forbes Ave. He also said downtown carries several varieties as does McKees Rocks Foodland at 1100 Chartiers Ave.  Also, the Giant Eagle in Crafton (Crafton-Ingram Shopping Center) might be another convenient alternative.  I hope this helps you to find our products.

I would like to thank you for taking the time to look into our products.  We also carry a honey BBQ chip, but it is a little different than the Snyder of Berlin’s brand.  Our most popular products are our BBQ Waffle Chips, our Kettle Cook’d Chips and our Butter Popcorn.  I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks again,

Chatney Almoney
Sales Coordinator
Martin’s Potato Chips
calmoney@martinschips.com

Heh.  Chatney needs to learn about the “h” on the end of Pittsburgh.  She apparently side-stepped the Martin Guitars question, too.  I mean, they are only 2½ hours apart.

I see that Butch & Dave Potter don’t reply to the email address that’s posted as their contact address on the site.  Why put it out there if you’re not going to reply?

Also, I looked all through their online store, and don’t see any Honey BBQ chips.  I’m thoroughly confused.

All in all, I think I like Martin’s as a company.  They seem quaint.  They were the first to reply.  They do, however need a better website… and they need to address the Snyder vs. Snyder’s issue as well as the Martin Guitars inquiry.  Perhaps I should write to Martin guitars?

In all seriousness, I need to set up a factory tour road trip where I tour the Yuengling Brewery, the Martin Guitar Factory, and some chip manufacturers.

IT’S A CRAP!

Posted on by Standard Reply

It’s weird how things interconnect all the time… like thoughts that occur throughout a week or month that are seemingly connected to other random things.

Recently I wrote about Spaceballs 3D.

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader recently blogged about some crazy toilets.  (You have to see #10.  Seriously.)

I saw something on twitter about an Admiral Ackbar Toilet and was moved to re-tweet.

Certainly this is a toilet worthy of Uncle John’s list, and of moichandizing moichandizing moichandising!

Sorry Baz…

Posted on by Standard Reply

Heh.  So I tweeted (to? at?) Sebastian Bach about his absence from the Slash album.  I had wondered about it in my review because I could swear that I’d read something indicating that Baz was going to have a guest spot.

All I said was this:

@sebastianbach I thought you were going to be on the @Slash album…? What happened?

The reply seemed a little angry:

@AiXeLsyD13 never said that ever

Seeing that my initial question could be read with a snotty inflection, I tried to quickly follow up with this:

@sebastianbach It was implied though, wasn’t it? Ha ha… or is something else in the works?

…and this:

@sebastianbach At any rate, I’d love to see a Slash/Baz effort somewhere someday.

Heh.  I didn’t want to come off as insulting, just really wanted to know what happened.  It was one of the things going into the album that I had been looking forward to.

I did some Googling, and I found this though…

From NME:

Sebastian Bach has revealed that Velvet Revolver guitarist Slash has contacted him about working on a ‘top secret project’ together.

The ex-Skid Row frontman denied rumours he’ll be taking Scott Weiland‘s place as the singer of Velvet Revolver, saying it would be “awkward” given his friendship with Slash‘s former Guns N’ Roses bandmate Axl Rose, who is no longer on good terms with the guitarist.

Bach told Billboard he’s been sworn to secrecy about the new project, but said it was “mind-blowing”.

From Billboard:

But he did confirm that VR guitarist Slash did contact him “out of the blue … to talk to me about working together, but it was not Velvet Revolver. It was a completely different project, and I can’t tell you what it is ’cause it’s mind-blowing, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy on that. But nothing’s happening right now with me and him.”

From A.V. Club:

In a typically breathless announcement, former Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach says guitarist Slash has contacted him “out of the blue” about a “top-secret job”–though despite rumors and all logic to the contrary, it was not to invite him to replace Scott Weiland as the frontman for Velvet Revolver. Such a move would be “awkward,” Bach says, considering his friendship with Slash’s estranged former partner Axl Rose. (Though, uh, apparently there’s a loophole that still allows him to be a part of whatever this mystery project is.) Practically begging you to care, Bach was not particularly forthcoming with details, saying only that he was “sworn to secrecy,” but did insist that, whatever it is, it’s “mind-blowing.”

And, even Slash’s Wikipedia page…

Slash was quoted saying that the work alone in the studio on the solo album was “cathartic”, and that he really enjoyed working alone in the studio. He also said he plans to bring a different singer for each song on the album, and that he has a list of guests to appear on the album, and most of them are already committed, though he refused to tell who are those guests. Rumored singers for the project include Lenny Kravitz, Sebastian Bach, Alice Cooper, Vince Neil, and past Guns N’ Roses bandmates Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan.[22] According to Slash’s wife during an interview with Rockerrazzi.com, both Ozzy Osbourne and Fergie will make appearances on Slash’s upcoming solo album, saying, “It’s going to be Slash and friends, with everyone from Ozzy [Osbourne] to Fergie.”[23] Other musicians set to appear on the release include Josh Freese, Chris Chaney, Travis Barker, M. Shadows and Jason Bonham.[24]

I guess a lot of those names from the “rumored” list didn’t make the cut, or were just that — rumors from the start.  At least now I have validation that I didn’t dream the idea.  I mean, news came out that they would work together outside of a Velvet Revolver context, and soon after Slash started talking more heavily about his solo album…  What other conclusions are we to draw?

There is the possibility that it fell through due to scheduling, not having a great song lined up, or some ominous Axl-related conspiracy.

Maybe he was slated to tour with Slash’s in support of the disc instead of Myles Kennedy?

Or, there is the possibility that the rumored project is much more “mind blowing” than just a solo album and yet to happen. Perhaps it’s a concert?  Video?  Movie?  Super-group?  Book?  Collaboration?  Reality show?  Documentary?  Bach being instrumental in reuniting Axl, Slash, & the rest of GN’R?

Who knows?

At any rate, I didn’t mean to insult you, Mr. Bach.  I just wanted to know what was up.  I enjoy following you on Twitter, and I really dug Angel Down.  I also think that it’s awesome that you take the time to interact with & reply to fans, obviously being a rock n’ roll fanboy at heart yourself.

More than 6 ways to cook a hot dog.

Posted on by Standard 8

A while ago, I blogged about stumbling on to an article listing 6 ways too cook a hot dog.  We all know there’s more.  Here’s a much better list.  OK, maybe not better… but bigger. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions submissions here and on Facebook, I hope to include them all here.

Oh well, on to the list…

  1. Grill ’em. The general consensus seems to be that if you’re going to cook a hot dog, it needs to be grilled.  I would agree with this.  I usually don’t break out hot dogs unless I’m already grilling burgers.  They’re there for those weird non-burger people, or a topping for your burger.
    • Charcoal Grill – This is old school grilling, get it hot let the flames & coals cook the dog with some nice grill lines or looking like the victim of a flame-thrower accident.  There are good instructions on grilling w/ gas & charcoal here (as if you need them).
    • Propane Grill – It’s a little easier to control the heat, & you’re less likely to produce the same flame-thrower victim effect if you keep an eye on ’em. There are also good instructions on grilling w/ gas & charcoal here (again, as if you need them).
    • Foreman Grill – Or any of the imitators & whatever they’re called.  I’ve seen a Hamilton Beach one, I’ve seen them called electric grills, counter-top grills, whatever… you know what I’m talking about.  I’ve had little success with the Foreman Grill & hot dogs… which is odd, because it cooks other stuff quite easily.  Here’s a video on how to cook ’em on the Foreman Grill, …because I can’t find good text for it anywhere.  They don’t list a time for hot dogs in the book that comes with it.  Maybe they assume their grill is for convenience, and it’s more convenient to nuke or boil your dogs.  If anyone has $99 to spare, I’ll take the USB iGrill from Think Geek.
    • Infrared Grill – I know nothing about this newfangled contraption.  It looks like you can burn a hot dog in 0.5 seconds on one.  Learn about infrared grills at Wikipedia.
    • Griddle/Flattop Grill – If you have one in your house, you are awesome.  You can certainly cook a hot dog on one, and don’t need me to tell you how.
  2. Open Flame. Who doesn’t love hot dogs (or anything really) cooked over a campfire? …Or a bonfire, trash barrel fire, or while the neighbor’s house is burning down? With these methods, You can also wrap the dog with biscuit or croissant dough from those creepy popping tubes, and it will cook nicely over an open flame.  If you want to get really crazy, slice it down the middle & stuff cheese in it, or wrap some cheese around it before the dough.
    • Skewer – We use roasting forks or or just sticks.  You can get the forks at any sporting goods or camping store, in a store that has a camping section, or in a store near your camping site.  You can get sticks in the woods, or from a lone, sad tree.  You can also get inventive, like this guy.  Be careful choosing sticks and being inventive… you don’t want anything that will poison your hot dog… like toxic wood, metal treated or painted with anything, and of course plastic.  I can’t seem to find a guide online of safe & unsafe tree branches to use when cooking over a fire.  Anyone have a boy scout handbook?  (I asked Yahoo!, apparently nothing out there will kill you, but stick with a non-sappy wood.) With this method, get your fire going, and hold the hot dog over it… but not in the flame unless you like black crispy possibly carcinogen-laced hot dogs.  If using a store-bought fork, it’s up to you if you want to put the dog on long-ways, or double/triple ’em up the forks.
    • Pie Iron – If you’ve camped with me, you’ve cooked with a pie iron… or you’ve watched me cook with one.  My favorites include pizza ones, and Reubens… but I’m sure you could stuff a hot dog into one.  They also have ones that are shaped to cook hot dogs.  This would most likely result in a nicely cooked dog without the singe marks, maybe flavored with some onions (gross!) or sauerkraut.  If you’re buying  a pie iron, buy one made of… iron.  This sounds dumb, but they make aluminum ones, and I have melted them with no problem.  I don’t think you want aluminum flavored hot dogs.
    • The Cage – Burger basket, grill basket, vegetable basket – all different names for a similar utensil.  I’d use it like I would a fork for hot-dog cooking… may be sort of useless unless you have a burger in it too.
    • The Rack – If you can find some sort of rack or grate that you can secure safely over the fire that’s also safe to cook on, you can cook like it’s a charcoal grill if you’re more comfortable with that.  Just make sure the flame isn’t eating your hot dog before you do.
    • Foil Pack – You could use the bread dough & any toppings/sides here as well.  Wrap the dog & even the bun in foil, and place it on a grate over the flames, or in the coals around the bottom of the fire like you would with a baked potato.
    • Oven Burner – That’s right.  Pit it on a fork or roasting fork, and hold it over the flame on your stove top.  This might not be safe, but I bet it would be fun.
  3. Boiled – I’m sure you’ve all had ’em like this.  I think it even suggests to heat ’em this way on the pack.  I’m not a fan of boiling anything any more, unless it’s soup or pasta.  It just seems like a lot of flavor goes into the water… and where hot dogs are concerned, it’s not like you have a lot to work with to begin with.  I’d suggest boiling hot dogs in beer, even though I’ve never tried it… it sounds pretty awesome.  You can even get crazy with beer, ketchup, and brown sugar.  Maybe some beef broth or bullion would be cool here too… but that may make ’em to salty?  I dunno.  Boil at your own risk.
  4. Nuke ’em – I guess that besides grilling, this would seem to be the most obvious method of cooking hot dogs.  On the last pack we bought, this method was featured larger than the other methods.  Just 30 – 40 seconds in the microwave … wrapped in a paper towel?  I never use the paper towel.  Is that to hold in moisture, prevent explosions, or what?  Apparetly there’s an art to this, because I have found the articles How to Cook a Hot Dog in a Microwave and the possible passive-aggressive How to Cook a Hot Dog in the Microwave Without Exploding the Ends.  As I write this, I have an urge to make some hot dogs explode in the microwave.  I may be developing a disorder.
  5. Lovin’ from the Oven – You can certainly cook hot dogs in the oven, you may split ’em open or poke them with a fork first.  This method would be ideal for the croissant-wrapped hot dogs, smothered in some awesome cheese.  Just make sure if you use the 1st linked method, that you put the foil in the oven before you heat it up (like they so diligently mentioned)… or don’t do that, burn yourself, and stay off of the internet.
  6. Deep Fried – They call these Rippers in New Jersey, no?  I don’t have a fryer… but I suppose I could do this in a pot on the stove, or in my turkey fryer.  I’ve never had one, but I’d imagine it’s a pretty good thing.  Corn dogs could be lumped in here too, I guess.
  7. Steamed – This seems to be a popular method, but I know I’ve never done it, or really seen it done.  I guess there are commercial steam cabinets for hot dogs… but I bet you could steam it like you do with vegetables if you have a steamer.  Perhaps, like boiling… you could steam it with beer…?
  8. In the Skillet. – Or frying pan.  Just fry it on the stove top with a little bit of oil.  I guess you could slice it open first if you wanted to, so it doesn’t pop on you.  Or, you can elevate it to an art form.
  9. Crock Pot – Pop ’em in the crock pot with some sauerkraut (maybe along with some beer), and you’re good to go.
  10. Car Engine – Why not?
  11. In Stuff – Okay this isn’t one specific method, but I didn’t feel like all of these should have their own #’s on the list.  You know you’ve chopped ’em up and added them to baked beans, mac n’ cheese, or even done a hot dog & potato bake.  Here I’ll also inject that I once got the SpaghettiOs with hot dogs.  They were inexplicably gross.  This is your final warning.
  12. Goofy Single-Purpose Appliances – I have hot dogs only occasionally.  I can’t imagine getting one of these hot dog cookers that serves only one purpose.  Our counter-space is quite limited.. and I can’t see that breaking one of these things out would be worth the novelty after more than a few uses…
    • The Hot Dog Toaster – Besides looking creepy, these also apparently cook hot dogs.  It looks to be just a toaster with hot dog-shaped holes and bun-shaped holes.  I wonder if it really cooks the thing through very well?  May be quite convenient.
    • Solar Hot Dog Cooker – This might be fun for campers or science geeks.  Solar ovens are pretty awesome, this one and this one are especially geared for hot dogs… this one might work.
    • The Roller – These apparently come in several varieties, but all look to be the same concept… Cooked on rollers like the ones you see at the convenience stores.  Brookstone makes one, there are a bunch of professional ones, and Nostalgia Electrics offers the Roller & “Ferris Wheel” varieties.
    • The “Roast My Weenie” guy – More of an accessory, this really just needs to be seen.
    • Electrocute it – My cousin told me a tale via Facebook of a hot dog cooker for electric chair, taser, and Tesla enthusiasts… called the Presto Hot Dogger.  Mad scientists can try it at home with a few things from around the house.  This actually looks pretty awesome.  This vintage one looks like a torture device.

Well, those are all the methods I can think of right now.  Well, other than going to Sheetz or Dormont Dogs… you should be able to get your hot dog fix by one of the methods described here.  If you have another technique, please list it in the comments below!

If you need more info… check out the list of hot dog variations.

Also up for discussion… now that you know how to cook one, what do you want on your hot dog?

Parking …what?

Posted on by Standard 1

Some people will do anything to save a parking space…

Move this!

Papal Participation in Lenten Lunacy

Posted on by Standard 3

A while ago, I decided to write a goofy letter to the Pope about shellfish & Lent.  It was surprisingly very easy to find the Pope’s email address online.  I wrote an email, and again got some editing/revision help from Dave, and sent it off to the Pontiff himself.  Here’s that email…

from ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
to benedictxvi@vatican.va
subject My struggles with Lent & dietary concerns…
mailed-by gmail.com

Good Day Your Holiness,

I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to find your email address with a quick Google search! I find it fascinating as well as endearing that you make yourself so accessible to the world, and embrace this new technology. I’m not sure if this is monitored and directed by yourself, or your trusted staff, but either way… I salute your effort. Also, I’m not sure if this would need to go through translators, or not. Perhaps I should use Google translator and post the results after my message in English?

I’m sure you are quite a busy man, especially in preparation for the upcoming Easter holiday, so I will try to make my point as succinctly as possible.

I would like to express my frustrations with the Lent season and the proliferation of seafood specials on Fridays at nearly every restaurant where I would otherwise be happy to dine. You see, I have a severe shellfish allergy, this makes dining out an adventure under normal circumstances. During Lent, restaurants that normally have minimal or no shellfish selections seem to produce them out of nowhere. This really hampers my ability to dine out comfortably, if at all.

With any cross-contamination, I can go into anaphylactic shock almost immediately. This means if I have a steak or piece of chicken that touches a grill where some lobster was just cooked, or if I have onion rings from the same fryer that was also cooking shrimp; I would begin the process with an internal itching/burning sensation in my Eustachian tube and rapidly closing bronchi.

I would like to ask if you could perhaps add shellfish (and possibly even regular fish) to the list of recommendations of things that one ought to give up in observation of lent. They are part of the “big 8” allergens in the world today. It would really help out a lot of followers & non-followers out there, being able to dine during the Lenten season in complete comfort! I figured that as the Pope, you’re in the best position to propose and act upon a movement of such magnitude.

You might even be able to offer up an explanation at why people have been eating fish for the lent season for so long, now that it’s no longer really an inconvenience. This would be in line with your call to return to stricter Christian values, no? Perhaps it would dispel the rumors that the Catholic Church of yore was in league with a local fishmonger and pushed fish on lent solely (pun intended – would that pun translate well into German? See, “sole” is a type of fish, and is also the root word to “solely” meaning singular…) to raise profits for the fishmonger, who in turn would up the amount of his tithe to the church. I can only assume that this is a rumor, as I find different versions of the tale on the internet, and no real concrete evidence to back any of the allegations.

I’m not Catholic myself, but am a Protestant (United Church of Christ, more specifically). I would say that in recent times we’re “on the same team” though, wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps Peter didn’t intend to include shellfish when he repealed the laws of clean and unclean animals put forth in Leviticus? Perhaps something was lost in translation?

I have one final idea. For Lent, all devout Christians ought to revert to a strict kosher diet. This would certainly strengthen ties with our Jewish friends and put more emphasis on the kind of Passover meal that Jesus would have had with his disciples at the last supper. I would think that this is wholly appropriate for this time of year, and it certainly helps me with my dining problem. Perhaps I ought to just convert and stick to kosher delis and grocery stores? Ha ha ha.

I would like to thank you for your time, and truly cannot wait to hear your thoughts on the subject at hand. I also look forward to a possible continued dialog about faith, shellfish, and allergies.

Humbly,
-Eric

Google translation:

Guten Tag Eure Heiligkeit,

Ich war angenehm überrascht, wie einfach es ist, Ihre E-Mail-Adresse mit einem schnelle Google-Suche finden! Ich finde es faszinierend wie liebenswert, dass Sie sich so der Welt zugänglich zu machen, und die neue Technologie. Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob dies überwacht wird und von Ihnen selbst gerichtet, oder Ihren Mitarbeitern vertrauen, aber so oder so … Ich begrüße Ihre Bemühungen. Also, ich bin nicht sicher, ob diese müssten durch Übersetzer, oder nicht. Vielleicht sollte ich Google-Übersetzer zu wenden, und nach den Ergebnissen nach meiner Nachricht in Englisch?

Ich bin sicher, Sie haben völlig ein viel beschäftigter Mann, vor allem im Hinblick auf die bevorstehenden Osterferien, also werde ich versuchen, meinen Standpunkt ebenso knapp wie möglich zu machen.

Ich möchte meinen Frust mit der Fastenzeit und der Verbreitung von Meeresfrüchte-Spezialitäten am Freitag um fast jedem Restaurant, wo ich nicht anders ausdrücken würde sich freuen, zu speisen. Sehen Sie, ich einen schweren Schalentiere Allergie haben, das macht einem Dinner ein Abenteuer unter normalen Umständen. In der Fastenzeit, Restaurants, die normalerweise keine oder eine minimale Auswahl Muscheln scheinen zu ihrer Herstellung aus dem Nichts. Dies behindert wirklich meine Fähigkeit zu speisen sich behaglich, wenn überhaupt.

Mit eine Kreuzkontamination kann ich in einen anaphylaktischen Schock gehen fast sofort. Dies bedeutet, wenn ich ein Steak oder ein Stück Huhn berührt haben, dass ein Grill, wo einige Hummer nur gekocht wurde, oder wenn ich Zwiebelringe aus der gleichen Friteuse das war auch das Kochen Garnelen, ich würde den Prozess mit einem internen Juckreiz begin / Brennen in meiner Tuba und schnell schließen Bronchien.

Ich möchte fragen, ob Sie vielleicht könnten Muscheln (und möglicherweise sogar regelmäßig Fisch) in die Liste der Empfehlungen der Dinge, die man aufgeben, in der Beobachtung der Fastenzeit soll hinzuzufügen. Sie sind Teil der “Big 8” Allergene in der heutigen Welt. Es wäre wirklich sehr helfen, von Anhängern und nicht-Anhänger gibt, in der Lage, die während der Fastenzeit im kompletten Komfort zu speisen! Ich dachte, wie der Papst, Sie in der besten Position zu schlagen und die Reaktion auf eine Bewegung von solcher Tragweite sind.

Man könnte sogar in der Lage sein Angebot bis auf eine Erklärung, warum Menschen wurden Verzehr von Fisch für die Fastenzeit so lange, jetzt, da es nicht mehr wirklich ein Nachteil. Dies stünde im Einklang mit Ihren Anruf, um strengere christlichen Werte zurückgeben, nicht wahr? Vielleicht wäre es die Gerüchte, dass die katholische Kirche von einst wurde in der Liga mit einem örtlichen Fischhändler und schob Fisch auf nur geliehen (pun intended zerstreuen – wäre das Wortspiel auch ins Deutsche zu übersetzen? See, “allein” ist eine Art von Fisch, und ist auch die Wurzel Wort “ausschließlich” bedeutet Singular …), um Gewinne für die Fischhändler, der seinerseits würde die Höhe seiner Zehnten der Kirche zu erheben. Ich kann nur annehmen, dass dies ein Gerücht ist, wie ich verschiedene Versionen der Geschichte im Internet zu finden, und keine wirkliche konkrete Beweise vorzulegen, um die Behauptungen zurück.

Ich bin nicht katholisch mich, aber ich bin ein Protestant (United Church of Christ, genauer gesagt). Ich würde sagen, dass in der letzten Zeit sind wir “auf der gleichen Mannschaft” aber nicht würden Sie zustimmen? Vielleicht Peter hatte nicht vor, Schalentiere, wenn er aufgehoben den Gesetzen der reinen und unreinen Tieren setzte sich weiter in Levitikus enthalten? Vielleicht etwas in der Übersetzung verloren?

Ich habe noch eine letzte Idee. Für die Fastenzeit, die alle gläubigen Christen sollten eine strenge koschere Ernährung zurückzukehren. Dies würde sicherlich zur Stärkung der Beziehungen mit unseren jüdischen Freunden und legen mehr Gewicht auf die Art des Passah-Mahl, das Jesus mit seinen Jüngern beim letzten Abendmahl hätte. Ich würde denken, das ist ganz angemessen für diese Zeit des Jahres, und es sicherlich hilft mir bei meinem Esszimmer Problem. Vielleicht sollte ich erst konvertieren und halten Sie sich Feinkostläden und Lebensmittelgeschäften koscher? Ha ha ha.

Ich möchte Ihnen für Ihre Zeit danken und kann wirklich nicht warten, bis Sie Ihre Meinung zu diesem Thema an die Hand zu hören. Ich freue mich auch auf einen möglichen weiteren Dialog über den Glauben, Muscheln und Allergien.

Demütig
-Eric

Yes, that’s a crudely copy n’ pasted Google translation, and I have no idea if it made any sense at all in German.  Judging by some of the bounce-backs that I received, it may have been stopped by some SPAM filters.

As expected, it went a couple of weeks without a response, so I looked up some other addresses at the Vatican, and for national & local Catholic organizations, and wrote this little forward to send to a bunch of them, along with the original email…

Hello Friends,

I recently sent an email to Pope Benedict XVI regarding some allergy concern issues that I have surrounding Lent, and possible modification of policies on the Church’s policy of not eating meat on Fridays.

I realize that the Pope is probably the busiest man in the world.  He is the head of an organization that transcends many country, political, and cultural borders… and he has many important duties, most especially in this holy time of year.

I was wondering if you would perhaps be able to direct me to someone who would be better suited to open a dialogue about my concerns noted below?

Thank you for your time, and thank you in advance for your help!
-Eric

Finally, we have a response, and not surprisingly, it’s from someone at a local level…

from Gretz, Rev James R <jgretz@diopitt.org>
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
cc “Bielewicz, Vy Rev Harry R.” <hbielewicz@diopitt.org>,
“Wagner, Laura L” <lwagner@diopitt.org>
date Wed, Mar 10, 2010 at 1:15 PM
subject My struggles with Lent & dietary concerns…
mailed-by diopitt.org

Eric,

Peace and greetings to you.  Your letter sent to many in the Diocesan Offices eventually came to me as the Director of the Department for Worship.  I will attempt to answer your concerns as best as possible.

It is wonderful that our Holy Father is accessible via the internet.  He did recently challenge priests and the Church to better use electronic media for reaching out to people.  Thus my email response to you!

While I am not in marketing, I do see the proliferation of restaurants attempting to make a profit with the “target audience” each Lenten Season.  I guess that’s how business works.  At the same time, I do sympathize with your allergy plight.  Personally, I do not suffer with allergies, however, my late mother had one to lactose and it was very difficult to take her out to dinner.  I know of others who suffer with “celiac-sprue” – the allergy to gluten and wheat products.  That too is a horrible cross to bear.  My mother and the others solved it by frequenting only the restaurants that would gladly serve their needs.  I would suggest the same.

The discipline of abstinence, refraining from meat products, actually has an ancient history.  I too know of the truly legendary stories of fishmongers and their unions, if you will!  However, the discipline goes back to an extant document of the early Second Century known as the “Didache” or “The Lord’s Instruction to the Twelve Apostles”.  You mentioned the kosher diet.  So, yes, when we think of Jewish people, that dietary style comes to mind.  That was the intent of the Didache.  The early Church wanted to have their own dietary laws to make them distinctive as well, hence abstinence, especially on Friday, the day our Lord died for us, so that we too might suffer a little with Him.  That is our mark on the world, if you will.  I seem to recall that the US Conference of Catholic Bishops back in the 1990’s was discussing this discipline and perhaps returning it to all Fridays of the year.  The objection was that since many are refraining from red meat in general and more people are vegans, what does abstinence mean to the modern world?  Of course, the discipline remains for the Lenten Season, however, it is good to dream as to what the modern version of abstinence might be….

Which, then, leads me to your final thoughts about adopting the kosher diet for Lent.  Actually, if all people really embraced the meaning of the Lenten Season – a time for conversion and returning to the Lord – we would definitely have a much better world.

If you have any additional questions, do not hesitate to contact me.  Until then, I remain,

Sincerely yours in Christ,
Rev. James R. Gretz

Rev. James R. Gretz, M.Div., M.T.S.
Director, Department for Worship
Diocesan Master of Ceremonies
Roman Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh

2900 Noblestown Rd.
Pittsburgh, PA  15205
voice: 412-456-3041
fax: 412-456-3163

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Someone took this letter quite seriously!  I wonder if I’ll hear from anyone else… and I’m wondering how to continue form this point on.  It certainly is fun to see my W(aL)D insanity taken seriously.  It is fun to know that I got a response.  No offense intended here, but I always viewed the Catholic Church as a little “stuffy”.  Maybe they’re mellowing out in this digital age?