Guitars & Virtual Window Shopping 🎸


Is there a word for the internet version of window-shopping?  I certainly have enough guitars.  I really dig my oddball collection.  But, I’m always looking.  I made a wishlist before, so I thought I’d update it.  Of course, this list is subject to change by the minute, and like a rodent with shiny objects I can be easily distracted.

 

-🤘🎸🤘-

 

Traveler Guitar TravelcasterTraveler Guitar Travelcaster – It’s no secret that I dig weird guitars.  This is pretty neat.  I love the idea, even if ESP had it first.  Supposedly, the ESP ones were only made & sold in Japan.  The Traveler  Travelcasters look pretty snazzy, and Traveler makes some other really cool stuff.  I bet it really would be useful in a travel capacity, & provide some fun on stage.  I see these ads constantly.

BOHOBohemian Guitars Oil Can Guitar – Who doesn’t want one?  It’s like a cigar box guitar cranked up to 11.  They look like a ton of fun, and they’re not really all that expensive.  These Boho axes are real attention grabbers.  I also see these ads constantly.  The reviews appear to be fanrastic.

Millennium Falcon GuitarA Millennium Falcon Guitar – There have been various builders to create this to varying degrees of success.  I’d love to get my scruffy nerf-herding paws on one.  I even blogged about it before (check the comments).  You know I have an appreciation of weird guitars and of Star Wars, so this is a natural.  Bonus if it includes lights and sounds!

Peavey T-60Peavey T-60 – These Peaveys seem like a sort of underground or unspoken holy grail, especially if you get the amp in a case.  The T-30 and T-15 look cool to, but I dig humbuckers. so 60 may be the way to go.  Hell, a Peavey Mantis would kick some butt too.

Gibson Reverse Flying VGibson Reverse Flying V – I mean, I already have a Dewey Decibel FlipOut, so why not continue the trend?  This one will probably never happen unless I win the lottery.  I like my guitars cheap, and this one is not cheap.  Epiphone, how about a limited run here?  The hate for it online alone drives my want for it.

Archer Flying Cheese WedgeArcher Flying Cheese Wedge – This thing is absolutely ridiculous.  I love it.  If I ever found a cheap one, I would pounce.  I mean, CHEESE.  Who doesn’t like cheese (besides the lactose intolerant)?  I think it has something to do with Wisconsin sportsball.  I just like cheese.  A lot.

Hello Kitty Squier StratocasterHello Kitty Squier Stratocaster – This is another gem sought after by a bunch of weirdos. The quality is the stuff of legend if you can snag it for the right price.  They were cheap for a bit until someone let out the secret they they’re no joke.

Dean ML Acoustic, Kramer Imperial aXAcoustic ExplorerKramer made one, Dean sort of makes one.  They are so ridiculous.  I may settle for a Flying V one. Ha ha.  Even the little ukes may satisfy this yearning.

Esteban Midnight LegacyEsteban Midnight Legacy Electric Guitar – These were going for $75-ish online for a bit, then they jumped up.  Strat pickup configuration on a Les Paul shape?  All black?  “E” shaped headstock?  Sign me up!

Gianni Doubleneck SG/Telecaster HybridGianni SG/Tele-style doubleneck – As with Bigfoot, some people refuse to believe that these even exist.  The cries of “fake” and “photoshopped” abound with this type of axe online.  It is ridiculous.  Really, I don’t have a double-neck.  I need one, right?  I do have a 12 string… so a 6/12 would be boring.  I would love to get one of these and make one neck a baritone or Bass VI scale.  I mean, this is cool too if we’re getting really weird.

Wylde Audio Warhammer, Dean Split Tail, Gibson ZVOne of those goofy Zakk Wylde guitars – Any of the trifecta of insanity will do.  The Gibson ZV, the Dean Split Tail, and the Wylde Audio Warhammer are all sort of the same shape.  I don’t know the story behind the jumps from manufacturers, and I don’t really care.  They are so metal, it hurts.  I play so poorly for metal, it hurts.  So, it’s a natural fit of pain.  Right?  Right?  This may have trumped my old longing for a Transparent Green Lucite BC Rich.

Xaviere 550SCE_BKXaviere RTS_550SCE_BK Dreadnaught – This is all cosmetic.  I just really dig the look.  Plus, I really dig Guitar Fetish.  I might even sell the 12-string to get this.  Maybe?  Anyone heard anything about the quality?  I really like the look and sort of want to jump before they’re gone.  I mean, if I sell the 12-string… that opens up my double-neck options.  Right?

 

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What’ on your list?  Gimme something awesome in the comments, bonus points for sub-$300-ish.  What haven’t I heard of yet?  What am I forgetting?  What need to I need to meet or gap do I need to fill?  What is your holy grail guitar?  Post some photo or links too!

 

Should you be featured on #GuitarHoarders? 🎸


Narrator: “Up next on Guitar Hoarders; Jim, 48, a self-professed ‘Blues Lawyer’ from Oaklahoma is going through a divorce due to his recent failure to remove 27 partscasters from his bathroom, leaving his soon-to-be-ex-wife to do her business in the rose bushes out back.”

Narrator: “Jim’s wife, Tonya, thought the rented apartment two towns over was for another woman, but it was way worse than she could have imagined. It was full of Chibsons and falsely advertised ‘Lawsuit Era’ LP copies that were actually nothing of the sort.”

Tonya: “I wish his browser history had said PornHub or RedTube, but no… it was all Reverb, eBay, ShopGoodwill, Craigslist, and the lowest of the low… local & national guitar forums on Facebook!

Don’t even get me started on LetGo and OfferUp. I wish I had found Tinder or even Grinder. That, I could deal with.”

Narrator: “Tonya did at least see a bright side to all of the madness.”

Tonya: “I mean, I guess at least it wasn’t Reddit.”

Jim: “I guess I don’t need that many guitars. I mean, I don’t get to play as often as I like. Most of my time is spent online explaining to n00bz how tone wood makes a huge difference, why I think Gibson is overrated and how they have gone downhill, the best types of wood for a fretboard, you know… the important stuff. There are some real idiots out there. How can you have fun if you’re not getting the best possible tone from your fingers?”

Narrator: “Jim is seemingly unaware that he has a problem.”

Jim: “GAS? No, never heard of it. Wait, is that the psychobilly jam-band that plays every open stage night at Free Beer Tomorrow over in Tulsa? No?

Anyway, did you know that Slash’s Les Paul that he used on Appetite for Destruction wasn’t even a Gibson?  And now they endorse him?  I mean.  If you don’t know that, you shouldn’t even be allowed to play Guitar Hero.”

Tonya: “I’m currently living with my sister.  Her husband plays the bass, so he can’t afford to have a hoarding problem.”

Jim: “That guy?  He doesn’t even know the difference between active and passive pickups.  Heh.”

Narrator: “At this time, Jim refuses counseling.  He thinks they can work it out.”

Jim: “I was teaching her how to play, but Mel Bay is so dumb.  We re-started with a ‘Top 50 riffs of all time’article form an old guitar magazine out of my pile.  I mean, there are only 8 notes, right?  Or is it 12?

I was trying to tell these guys at the county fair that they were playing the riff for ‘Lay Down Sally’ wrong, but you just can’t tell some people things.  I have a tabographic memory.  That’s where you can instantly remember every guitar tab that you have ever seen.”

🎸

TLC, I have another TV show for you.  This is a comment from a guitar group gone awry because I amuse myself way too much.  Who wants to do a YouTube sketch comedy show for a very specific audience?

Guitar Collection 2017

“Tone wood is so important in guitars.” 🎸


“Tone wood is so important in guitars.” Except when it’s not.

I get, it makes a difference. It even makes an audible difference (to some people). It doesn’t make that big of a difference with gain cranked and balls to the wall.

<sarcasm> This guy does some science crap and he’s really condescending too, so you know he’s good:</sarcasm>

Guitarobatics 🎸


I’m on a few super gear-nerdy and G.A.S.-educing groups on Facebook.  To the Awesome Cheap Guitars group, I recently posed this question:

So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…

Dancing E.

Dancing E.

☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ Stage-diving.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.)
☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers  in Airheads.) 
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.)
☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide.
 The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.

I know there are more.  I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me.   I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments!  This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.

What’s your favorite to do?  What’s your favorite to watch?  What have you copied?  What have you invented?  What did I miss on this list?  Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!

Now, for the self-indulgence:

Anchorhead vs. Galactic Empire


Anchorhead vs. Galactic Empire

Anchorhead vs. Galactic Empire

I have seen Galactic Empire blowing up lately, and I love it… but it makes me wonder what happened to Anchorhead, who was doing it first.  (Yes, I know scores of metal versions of Star Wars songs are all over the Innerwebs, but these guys are the best.)

Here’s some side-by-side comparisons…

Anchorhead:

…and check out this incredible entire live show!  Apparently all these cats ever left was one EP & a handful of performances.  Their guitars have so many strings, it takes 12 parsecs for any non-force user to make their way across the fretboard.

I did download all I could form MySpace, but all I could get of some of the stuff was some snippets of songs.  Their interpretations are proggy, masterful, eerie, and dark.  I would love to get my hands on the EP.

Galactic Empire:

Obviously, these scruffy-looking Nerf Herders rock too.  The costumes and video production are all-out.  The metal seems happier if that’s even a thing.  They used kickstarter to fund their eventual takeover of the galaxy.  Galactic credits go far with the Empire.  I’m anxious for their full-length album, too.

It looks like of the two, these guys are the only ones currently in existence.

Vote for Your Favorite:

I would love to see a fan mix of the movies using either of these guys to score the entire thing.  I don’t think Disney would go for it, unless like Darth Lucas they realize they can make more money by selling the movies again to the same people that already own all possible formats & variations.

Bonus:  Check out Sarlacc!

Messing around with some of my guitars 🎸


Guitars Demoed this time around

Guitars Demoed this time around

The other night I broke out some of my toys for some fun.  Some cats demo their stuff online, so I decided to make a video of my jam…

Here are the guitars used:

Here was my setup:

Ran it into a Planet Waves tuner pedal, out to a Y-splitter cable. One end went into an Ernie Ball wah pedal then into a Fender Blues Jr. The other end went straight into an Orange Micro Terror rockin’ a Laney 2×12 cab.

Here are some photos if you’re into that kind of stuff:

I’d be interested to know what you think, if you own a guitar like one of these, or if you have something even wackier to share.  Please, comment up.

Axl ‘Leaks’ Possible New GN’R Tunes


Recent reports have surfaced that Guns N’ Roses’ sole founding member and self-proclaimed demigod Axl Rose may have literally leaked tunes to the upcoming GN’R “reunion” album. TMZ has posted but since redacted an audio clip of Axl Rose passing gas taken via iPhone by a fan in an adjacent restroom stall at a roadside rest stop in Tennessee. Lucky listeners may note that the flatulence has a powerful sound that when transcribed as musical notes or tablature would make an incredible guitar riff hearkening back to the Appetite era, and sounds light years heavier anything on Chinese Democracy.

Axl squeezing one out on stage.

Axl squeezing one out on stage.

The fan asked Rose to autograph a sanitary toilet seat cover, but Rose declined stating that his new boss, Angus, wouldn’t allow it. Further investigation showed that someone had ripped the dispenser off the wall and urinated all over it anyway.

When Ultimate-Guitar.com reached out to Dave Mustaine for comment, Dave enlightened the all of rock and metal fandom…

“Axl and I had the same voice coach right around the time that I was kicked out of Metallica for writing better riffs than Jaymz and being a bigger douche than Lars. I’m great friends with Slash since we used to do heroin together, but I have to say that Axl’s farts make better riffs than the too-low-in-the-mix guitars the last Velvet Revolver album, whatever it was called.”

Dave went on to tell everyone that he wrote all of the essential building blocks for Metallica’s albums up until the black one, and that he could play all of the Metallica Metallica riffs and solos in his sleep with his balls on a Hello Kitty ukulele.

Izzy Stradlin recently came out of his hole, saw his shadow, and asked Blabbermouth.net to get off of his lawn.

Sebastian Bach tweeted about the news, adding that Axl’s farts not only sound great, but that they smell like fresh roses and have since 1997. He wishes he could maximize his own lower orifice potential and maybe that would finally convince the other guys in Skid Row to take him back.

Slash and Duff McKagan could not be reached for comment. Dizzy Reed and Gilby Clarke tried to comment, but no one would listen. Steven Alder has an upcoming exclusive interview with the every-other-week best-sale-ever flyer from Guitar Center, keep reading with us for updates when we steal that story before doing any fact-checking.

Matt Sorum still wants to punch Axl in the face, but would take the gig with Axl/DC if the current drummer tries to kill anyone.  He has been asking Rush if he can join their band.

Axl has also been rumored to be singing for Queen (to be billed as Rocket Queen), and for Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, & Jason Bonham in a project billed as Red Zeppelin since Robert Plant won’t return any of their calls.  Rose’s trash collector’s brother denies rumors of Axl fronting a Dio-era Black Sabbath/Heaven & Hell tribute tour which may or may not include Bill Ward.

In related news, a special episode of ABC’s Celebrity Wife Swap will have Joe Perry and Slash trade places for a week to see how the other guy deals with each other’s wives & bands for two weeks on tour.

Getting the itch to set up a place to rock.


So, as you may know, I have a few guitars.  Once upon a time we had an extra room that was going to be adorned with said guitars.  Things changed, and that room serves a much more awesome purpose as my son’s room.

We do, however, have a garage that we don’t use at all.  We have talked about closing it in to make more room.  It might be a bit of a project getting the garage door turned into a wall & man door, and will take a bit of interior TLC like more electrical outlets and some type of climate control.  It should keep the aforementioned son’s room a little warmer if it’s an “inside” room.

I’d like to put my guitars in there, and have them ready to play at any give moment when inspiration strikes.

AiXeLsyD13's Guitars - Oct. 2015

AiXeLsyD13’s Guitars – Oct. 2015

I’ve been drooling over different types of guitar storage for a while now, and stowing ideas away on pinterest.

I’d really like to use the house’s old storm windows that we no longer need to build a permanent version of these cool cabinets:

I have the drive, and I can learn the know-how, but I may need the intervention of someone that actually knows what they’re doing at some point.

Anyone else have a DIY rock n’ roll room setup? I’d like to house my CD’s, records, etc. too instead of them suffocating in storage bins. Maybe some recording gear and/or a PC could find a home there? There are so many options. Like a true punk rock musician I’d like to work close to a nonexistent budget.

Hit me up with your experience and ideas in the comments!

🎼🎶🎸📀🎧📼🎤🎵🎸🎶

So, this is kind of neat…


My Batman logo guitar made it to #1 on a list of geeky guitars at Nerdist.  Not even the guys at the Guitarz blog could really dig up any info about these cheap-ass prize guitars, but all Batman fans know the power of such a sweet axe.

All the work was done by the humble Aaron Hutzel at Lawerence Music.  He works on all of my crap guitars and makes them sexy playable rock weapons.

It’s kind of cool, and I’m getting some hits to this old blog post.

Nerdist | Top 10 Geeky Guitars That We Must Own Now

Nerdist | Top 10 Geeky Guitars That We Must Own Now

https://twitter.com/amy_geek/status/548696576340664320

Chick-fil-A-Go-Go! 🎸🎤🎧🎵🎶


OK, so it’s been a while since I’ve been productively making music & actively writing songs.  Apparently the bug never goes away.  I have been thinking about doing punk rock-ish kids songs for a while.  (The Sablowskis beat me to it!)

Yeah, there is the AiXeLsyD reunion gig coming up… whenever that is, and it doesn’t seem like Ernie and the Berts was all that long ago.

I saw a contest online last week and it sparked me to get my ass quickly in gear. Music Go Round in Monroeville is holding a guitar giveaway, and I have been mentally drooling all over Eastwood Guitars online for quite some time. The Side Jack is pretty awesome!

It would be really cool if you could help me win this axe by clicking “like” on this post: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=698216686929723&permPage=1

It may help to follow or like the Music Go Round Monroeville, PA Facebook page too.  It has to be on that post on their page, no “likes” here or on my link(s) to it on my Facebook profile count.  Voting is only open this week, they pick a winner on the 27th!

As far as the song goes, I threw it together in under an hour with a downloaded app for the tablet, using crappy headphones, the built-in mic on the tablet, and my acoustic guitar down in the basement.  I think it shows.  But, I still think it’s a hooky tune with some potential.  I may have to recruit a few of the usual suspects or even some unusual ones to help me complete the process.

Molly is absolutely terrified of the Chick-fil-A cow.  My guess is that other kids are too. Seems like we can find a whole lot more to relate to with some feet-tapping tunes!

Chick-fil-A-Go-Go

Chick-fil-A-Go-Go