Tag Archives: Guns N’ Roses

Bluesky | Music Ask (AiXeLsyD13’s Answers)

Posted on by Standard 2

These go around all the time on social media. Saw one on Bluesky. Thought I’d make a playlist. This, like all of my musical tastes, could change if I were to do it again in 5 minutes. Here we are though. I made a playlist & put it on Amazon Music, Spotify, & YouTube.

Music Ask 1. A song you like with a color in the title 2. A song you like with a number in the title 3. A song that reminds you of summertime 4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about 5. A song that needs to be played LOUD 6. A song that makes you want to dance 7. A song to drive to 8. A song about drugs or alcohol 9. A song that makes you happy 10. A song that makes you sad 11. A song that you never get tired of 12. A song from your preteen years 13. One of your favorite 80's songs 14. A song that you would love played at your wedding 15. A song that is a cover by another artist 16. One of your favorite classical songs 17. A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke 18. A song from the year that you were born 19. A song that makes you think about life 20. A song that has many meanings to you 21. A favorite song with a person's name in the title 22. A song that moves you forward 23. A song that you think everybody should listen to 24. A song by a band you wish were still together 25. A song by an artist no longer living 26. A song that makes you want to fall in love 27. A song that breaks your heart 28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love 29. A song that you remember from your childhood 30. A song that reminds you of yourself

1. A song you like with a color in the title.

“Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)” – Type O Negative

2. A song you like with a number in the title.

“3 Small Words” – Josie and the Pussycats

3. A song that reminds you of summertime.

“Swing Life Away” – Rise Against

4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about.

“Casket” – Graves

5. A song that needs to be played LOUD.

“Headbanger” – Teenage Bottlerocket

6. A song that makes you want to dance.

“The Safety Dance” – Men Without Hats

7. A song to drive to.

“UFO’s, Big Rigs and BBQ” – Mojo Nixon

8. A song about drugs or alcohol.

“Beer” – Reel Big Fish

9. A song that makes you happy.

“Maggie Mae” – Pietasters

10. A song that makes you sad.

“Cricket” – Dance Hall Crashers

11. A song that you never get tired of.

“I Turned Into a Martian” – Misfits

12. A song from your preteen years.

“Sweet Child O’ Mine” – Guns N’ Roses

13. One of your favorite 80’s songs.

“True Colors” – Cyndi Lauper

14. A song that you would love played at your wedding.

“You Shook Me All Night Long” – AC/DC

15. A song that is a cover by another artist.

“War Pigs” – Cake

16. One of your favorite classical songs.

“Duel of the Fates” – John Williams

17. A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke.

“Heart Shaped Guitar” – Masked Intruder

18. A song from the year that you were born.

“We’re a Happy Family” – Ramones

19. A song that makes you think about life.

“Ordinary World” – Green Day

20. A song that has many meanings to you.

“One” – Metallica

21. A favorite song with a person’s name in the title.

“Jamie Oliver” – The Apers

22. A song that moves you forward.

“Float” – Flogging Molly

23. A song that you think everybody should listen to.

“Raise Your Glass” – Guns ‘n’ Wankers

24. A song by a band you wish were still together.

“Love’s Easy Tears” – Ann Beretta

25. A song by an artist no longer living.

“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” – Johnny Cash

26. A song that makes you want to fall in love.

“Pantera Fans in Love” – Nerf Herder

27. A song that breaks your heart.

“Crazy” – Willie Nelson

28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love.

“Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” – Black Sabbath

29. A song that you remember from your childhood.

“Walk Like an Egyptian” – Bangles

30. A song that reminds you of yourself.

“Knowledge” – Operation Ivy

It was tough to pick. I could do this list probably 5 deep with entirely different yet valid answers right now. I mean, I have whole playlists for color, numbers, dates, names, & more. I also thought of another ask that I wonder if anyone would participate in?

🎵🎶🎸🤘📻🎵🎶

The whole thing:

Would you do this one, or another one? Just the ones that popped into my head are…

  1. A song about a season.
  2. A song about a day of the week.
  3. A song about a year.
  4. A song about a bodily function.
  5. A song about a body part.
  6. A ridiculous song.
  7. A macabre song.
  8. A song about food.
  9. A song about an animal.
  10. A song about a monster.
  11. A song with advice.
  12. A sea shanty.
  13. A song from a movie you like.
  14. A song about a movie you like.
  15. A song from a TV show you like.
  16. A song about a TV show you like.
  17. A song an artist sings about another artist.
  18. A song about making love.
  19. A song about birth.
  20. A song about death.
  21. A song about a house.
  22. A song about a place.
  23. A song about a road.
  24. A song by a supergroup.
  25. A song that’s a collaboration of artists.
  26. A song about a family member.
  27. A great live song.
  28. A song from the 70’s.
  29. A song from the 90’s.
  30. A song from the 00’s.
  31. A song from the 10’s
  32. A song form the 20’s.
  33. A super catchy song.
  34. A song one of your parents likes.
  35. A wholesome song.
  36. A crazy song.
  37. A song about mythology or religion.
  38. A nice song.
  39. A mean song.
  40. A song about a historical event or figure.

What are some other good suggestions? You gonna do the ask? Which of these songs do you love or hate?

Legoland New York Shenanigans – Go there!

Posted on by Standard Reply

🗽 Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty. Her tablet should say "Of course you're tired, after this amusement park you'll be Poor."
Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty.

This year, we let the kids pick the vacations. Luckily a new job afforded me more time, and we took a year off from being camp counselors/directors. I had offered the beach. I hate the beach, but we have never gone as a family. They brainstormed & settled on Legoland in New York, a trip to visit good friends that live in NJ who took us to New York City, and an upcoming trip to Washington DC.

My wife did the booking/research and set us up for 3 nights in the hotel and 2 days in the park. We both looked at two Facebook groups prior to going to help glean some knowledge:

Somehow, I was dirty banned from the first group with no warning or explanation. 😂 The second group is totally cool. I would suggest joining both. The only thing I can think that got me banned was the toilet thing (keep reading), or that I said to take cash even though they all said not to. (More on that in a bit too.)

I’ll put a list of my tips at the end.

Full disclosure: I like LEGO as much as if not more than the kids. We all do. Even my wife has gotten into building some really cool sets.

Family photo at the front sign to LEGOLAND New York.
The photo packaghe was worth it.
LEGOLAND refrigerator magnet made of... LEGO bricks.
My magnet may get glued together…

The hotel was super cool. We stayed in a Kingdom themed room. It had a separate nook with bunk bends and a TV for the kids, and a King-sized bed & TV for the adults. It came with a bin full of mostly Duplo & some LEGO to play with. It also had a treasure-hunt the first day to get (3) LEGO poly bag sets. We got them the 2nd night too, but not the 3rd. 🤷

LEGO frog atop a vast vault.
This guy guards the treasure.
kids playing Dick Tracy to get the lock combo code.
Found it!

I think we watched ALL of the LEGO movies in the room. That was neat.

The lobby has a giant castle that looks like LEGO, a treasure-trove of Duplo & Lego blocks, a climbing wall that isn’t a climbing wall, an area with large LEGO bricks made out of some material that feels like Crocs. There are so many photo opportunities throughout the hotel and park, it’s crazy.

I am here to storm LEGO castle!
I want one in the back yard.
Do you like my hat? It is the bastard child of a science experiment gone wrong. I left some LEGO and a pair of Crocs in that machine from The Fly, and welll... Jeff Goldblum is always pressing buttons.
Where can I buy these Croc-LEGO hybrids?
This is ¾ of us sitting on the wall that you're not supposed to climb on.
“We’re loners Dottie, rebels!”

Yeah. 4,672 kids climbed on this wall. Employees would all politely tell them to get off, and the parent / grandparent / aunt / uncle /random stranger would undoubtedly always exclaim “But, it looks like a climbing wall!” There is a sign to the left that says not to climb… but really, it LOOKS like a climbing wall. I suggest the shore it up so it’s safe to climb, or put stuff on the shelves so they don’t look like seats. Or maybe get a bigger more centralized “No Climbing” sign.

The restaurants in the park & at the hotel were interesting. They were crazy expensive, which we had gleaned from the groups, and kind of just expected anyway. The food was eh. I did not like their “fry sauce” on the burger. Breakfast was free with the stay and was a nice tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, French toast sticks, sausage, tator tots or home fries, fresh fruit, and the option of coffee, juice, milk, or water to drink. Pop or iced tea was an up charge.

RIDE THE DRAGON! 🐉🤘
🐉

The rides and attractions are definitely geared to pre-teen kids, but were fun for the whole family. The Dragon was my son’s first roller coaster ride. The indoor rides were fun, and of course they drop you in the gift shops. We kept telling my son that the same stuff would be in the big store. We were wrong. Some stuff was different. No build a minifigure in the big store.

We did not do the water park… It’s convoluted as you have to reserve time in 20 minute increments and it seems like a wild pain in the keister. We thought about doing the pool at the hotel after the park, but we decided to chill the first day and it was raining the second day. The pirate themed rides were perfect for us.

I almost bought the park-exclusive Legoland New York set, and would have for $75, but I didn’t feel like it was worth the $100 asking price. Maybe next time? We did get the photo package for one day, and they kids’ LEGOLAND drivers license photos. I did buy two little New York City themed sets.

OH NO!

The thing that made me laugh the most was our toilet project.

My son was having fun playing with the blocks and all the other kids in the hotel lobby. He became somewhat of a warmonger or arms dealer. Kids were coming up to him like he was Peter Dinklage in that Thor Movie where he forged Stormbreaker, or Tony Stark supplying all sides with arms. He was making Duplo and LEGO swords, guns, and who knows what else for any kid that would ask. He was having an absolute blast. I built Godzilla and a city to smash to pass some time. I also built a Duplo rubber duck and we attached to it a Ninjago figure’s head.

Then my daughter and I got silly. She built a pile of poop out of brown LEGO bricks. I told her to get me a bunch of white Duplo blocks, and made a toilet. At first, we just sat her stuffed LEGO guy in a chicken costume minifig on it. Then, we put it on the tray beside a salad that a LEGO waitress minifig sculpture was carrying. It was hilarious to see kids & adults discover it.

Sophisticated art. Finely schooled LEGO and Duplo artists add to an existing art installation, to make several high-brown political and societal statements. OR A Duplo toilet featuring a LEGO poop put on a serving tray next to a salad on a minifigure LEGO sculpture.
I’m easily amused. I don’t know what her deal is.

All-in-all, we had a great time. I think you will too if you’re into LEGO and your kids are the right age. Check out the last of my pics if you didn’t already see them on Instagram, or skip down to my helpful tips!

Knock. Knock.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.
This was before the LEGOLAND driver's licenses were issued.
Imagine the car is Legoland, and I am my bank account.
It wasn't me.
I didn’t do it.
☠️
Even LEGO skulls are cool. ☠️
Dave is an unrecognized LEGO genius.
#TeamDave
LEGO Mt. Rushmore was cool AND creepy.
They sang to us.
LEGO Statue of Liberty & Staten Island Ferry!
We rode the real one later that week!
LEGO NYC
Impressive, but the real thing was WILD.
Ninjago
The kids loved this guy.
Minifigure sculptures.
This isn’;’t nearly all of them.
New York Postcard 40519 | Other
New York Postcard 40519 | Other
New York City 21028 | Architecture
New York City 21028 | Architecture

My LEGOLAND New York tips:

  • I would suggest getting the app. It was helpful with menus, maps, reservations, etc.
    • You scan a barcode for the menus as the hotel restaurants.
    • You can use the app to order at some food establishments in the park.
    • You need reservations for the $20 cafeteria burger meals at the Bricks Family restaurant.
  • Don’t climb the wall that looks like a climbing wall, or do it quick before they yell at you.
  • Get the burger with the fry sauce on the side.
  • The BBQ place was good!
  • The crappy unwanted minifigures your kid brings to trade are the same ones that every other kid brings to trade, and what the employees have on their carts or badges to offer for trade.
  • BRING CASH. 💵 Even though the Legoland NY FB tips & tricks group that unceremoniously booted me implores you to leave all cash at home… You want to tip, right? If you want to leave a tip for breakfast where you don’t get any add-ons, for the room service, or the hotel cleaning staff, you need cash.
    • There is not even an ATM on site, I asked the front desk.
    • Don’t try to use cash anywhere else there, which is actually fantastic.
    • We had the kids save up their own money for vacation, then put it on VISA gift cards before we went. They purchased what they wanted at their own discretion. We bought them one clothing or stuffed animal item each.
  • Kids’ meals come with a juice pouch in the cute little lunch bag… but it doesn’t advertise that anywhere… so, we bought 2 extra drinks for $10 the first lunch. 🤦‍♂️
  • Pack a bag with water, snacks, or even lunch.
  • The build-you-own minifigure part selection was grim in the hotel store.
  • Get you some LEGO themed shirts.
  • The Elevator Dance Parties are a blast at the hotel.
Shock 'n' Roll is NOT to be confused with the shocker. 🤘
🤘

If you have been there, please share your tips & tricks in the comments! If you have not, ask some questions and I’ll try to answer!

Streaming related bands automatically?

Posted on by Standard Reply

This stated as a Twitter post/thread, and is ending up here.

Am I weird for thinking this?

Streaming services like Spotify and Amazon Music need a feature that adds in related bands. I can tell Alexa to play Rancid, but I also wouldn’t mind Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards being in there, or Transplants, or Tim’s solo stuff.  Or even Rancid covers.

Streaming needs to get smarter already.  The Spotify “super grouper” feature picks the absolute worst songs from each selected artist.

Of course, I could just make a playlist.  But, with a band like Blink-182 in the news, I wanted to dig into Angels & Airwaves, Boxcar Racer, & +44.  I don’t know which songs to add to a playlist.

Also, if I want to listen to ALL, I could want to listen to the Descendents too.  What about Guns N’ Roses, Velvet Revolver, Izzy Stradlin and the Ju Ju Hounds, Loaded, Neurotic Boy Outsiders, Slash, Slash’s Snakepit, Miles Kennedy & The Conspirators, all of it.

Snuff, Duncan Redmonds, Dogpiss, Guns ‘n’ Wankers would be another example.  As would Misfits, Danzig, Samhain, Son of Sam, etc.

Saying one phrase or typing one into a searchboith to be able to bring them all up.

Is that bandtoband.com still a thing?  That could be a reference for connected bands.

Teenage Bottlerocket & the Lillingtons.  Screeching Weasel & The Riverdales.  Ann Beretta, Foundation, Rob Huddleston, & Sixer.  Metallica & Megadeth.  Green Day, Foxboro Hot Tubs, The Network, & 300 other bands.

Even unrelated bands.  Can I just say “Alexa play songs by Flogging Molly and The Dropkick Murphys” and not confuse the shit out of it?

I have an Ozzy/Black Sabbath playlist on Spotify with a ton of great stuff, including a plethora of killer covers.  It took time to curate.  I have similar ones for Metallica, Misfits, Guns N’ Roses, & Rancid. I need to transition them all to Amazon Music… we have the family account there since we’re using the firestick. I like Spotify’s suggestions better… but I can listen to Amazon sans commercials. I refuse to subscribe to another service, sorry Spotify. Oddly, most of those transfer services have a paywall once you surpass an unreasonably low amount of songs. I don’t even my remember my Pandora logins.

I would think AI could have probably pretty quickly picked up what I was putting down & fleshed it out.

I wouldn’t expect it to go this deep, but it could link Flogging Molly to Fastway.

With Hip Hop too… say all the solo projects of the members of N.W.A.?  All that in one would be awesome.

Does something like this exist and I’m just not aware of it? I miss WinAmp.

I need to rip all kinds of older, local, & obscure stuff and put it on my own damn streaming server. I understand Google Music would let you do that before it collapsed? There is really a lot of stuff out there that you can’t stream, and some of my favorites don’t have their entire catalogs available to stream.

Help me out, audiofiles, music nerds, and techno geeks!

Spotify Pie & Iceburgify for AiXeLsyD13
AiXeLsyD13 Spotify Listening Habits

…And Out Comes the Dookie.

Posted on by Standard 5

...And Out Comes The Dookie

…And Out Comes The Dookie

It’s a new social media game.

Combine two albums you dig into one… just like some record executive or intern did once upon a time with Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II, combining the “best” tracks of each to make one pointless album.

I would suggest that you do two albums.  It can be different artists or the same.

If you want to be crazy try to keep the run time to a “real” album length.  I think Records hold 44 minutes of music and CD’s 74 or so?  About an hour would be good.

You can keep the artists separate like a split, or mix it all up.

Hell, you can combine 3 or more albums.  I am a fan of anarchy.  Just play.  Here in the comments, or online.  Use PicsArt or something similar to make an album cover if so inclined.

You can explain why you chose the tracks, or just let the mix speak for itself.

Just play.  Spread it.  Have fun.

We used to do stuff sort of like this on PittsburghBeat.com.

Here’s my fist offering; Rancid’s …And Out Come The Wolves mashed with Green Day’s Dookie;

01. Rancid “Maxwell Murder”
02. Green Day “Longview”
03. Rancid “Roots Radicals”
04. Green Day “Welcome to Paradise”
05. Rancid “Time Bomb”
06. Green Day “Pulling Teeth”
07. Rancid “Olympia WA.”
08. Green Day “Basket Case”
09. Rancid “Lock, Step & Gone”
10. Green Day “She”
11. Rancid “Ruby Soho”
12. Green Day “When I Come Around”
13. Rancid “Journey to the End of the East Bay”
14. Green Day “Emenius Sleepus”
15. Rancid “She’s Automatic”
16. Green Day “In the End”
17. Rancid “Old Friend”
18. Green Day “F.O.D.”
19. Rancid “As Wicked”
20. Green Day “All by Myself”

I sort of mixed up the tracks because why not? They do appear in album order.  The run time is just over 50 minutes. (Thanks Wikipedia & Google Sheets.)

Now, you do one.  Encourage others.  Show me what ya got.  I feel like I sort of did this once before already.

Help me make a playlist: Metallica 101

Posted on by Standard 6

So, Bethany is awesome and got us tickets to go see Metallica when they come to Pittsburgh in October.  We don’t have a whole lot of overlap in musical taste.  We have been to a bunch of concerts together, ranging from Flogging Molly, Rancid, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, & the Dropkick Murphys, to Willie Nelson, The Devil Makes Three, Poison & even (Lord help me) Kenny Chesney.  This doesn’t even count the dozens (hundreds?) of club shows we have attended for the local and national levels back when I was actively gigging… which was mostly punk or metal stuff on a more local-ish level like Omegalord and Peelander-Z.  I think I have successfully sold Bethany on the awesomeness of punk rock.  We haven’t really delved into metal past what I have played in the car.  Even myself, I have gravitated more in the punk direction than metal listening over the years.  Perhaps due to a shrinking attention span?  Metallica stands as one of those influential bands for me as far as it being one of the earlier things I “got.”  A kid in 6th grade lent me his cassette of …And Justice for All, and it was all-in from there.  It led me to stuff like the Misfits, Danzig, Megadeth, Motörhead, & Black Sabbath.  I wore out multiple copies of the Master of Puppets cassette.  The black album is a hugely definitive and divisive album, but it hit right when I was headed into high school, metal ruled the airwaves and guitar magazines, and grunge hadn’t yet stomped all over the oft-mocked hair metal’s reign supreme.  A Year and a Half in the Life of Metallica and Live Shit: Binge & Purge made me want to be a rock star.  My aunt & uncle took a me and a friend to the Guns N’ Roses & Metallica concert at Three Rivers Stadium.  That was the first and only time I ever saw them live.  It was my two favorite bands at the time.  It was awesome.  I’m anxious to go again.

That brings me to this;  How do I bring the wife up to speed on multiple decades of Metallica fandom, some of which even pre-dated my time as a fan?  Dave Mustaine getting booted?  Cliff Burton?  Jason Newsted?  Haircuts?  The Napster thing?  James catching on fire?  Goofy psychologists?  Lulu?  Lars’ drumming ability vs. his business acumen?  Kirk Hammett’s appearance of total passive and obedient participation?  “Four Horsemen” vs. “Mechanix”?

If you were going to make a mix tape playlist as an introduction to Metallica, what would you include?  Jokes about St. Anger or Load/Re-Load aside, what is the important stuff?  Audio?  Video?  Live performances?  Documentaries?  Metallica covering their influences?  Other bands covering Metallica?  Related bands?  Originals that Metallica has covered?  What videos would you say are essential?  MTV Icon?  Behind the Music?  When Metallica Ruled the World?  I know “One” is up there in my all-time favorite songs.  Do I start there, or go in chronological order?  Which instrumentals?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw3_4_OilHk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1LEsUzMai4

Guitarobatics 🎸

Posted on by Standard 19

I’m on a few super gear-nerdy and G.A.S.-educing groups on Facebook.  To the Awesome Cheap Guitars group, I recently posed this question:

So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…

Dancing E.

Dancing E.

☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
☑ Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ Stage-diving.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.)
☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers  in Airheads.) 
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.)
☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide.
☑ The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.

I know there are more.  I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me.   I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments!  This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.

What’s your favorite to do?  What’s your favorite to watch?  What have you copied?  What have you invented?  What did I miss on this list?  Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!

Now, for the self-indulgence:

Dancin’!
Lean back ’til you can’t no mo’
Dead
Behind the Dome (Again)
Duel of the fates
Behind the dome.
Under the nuts.
Lean on me
The Choreographed Lean
Dance with the crowd!
Jump!
Listen to that sustain
Turducken Walk
The Digleberry?
The campfire solo
Sweep the leg.
Push n’ shove
BEER!
Attention, bear-f__ker, do you require assistance?
Wireless Table Dance
On yo’ knees.
Three Axe Salute
The other choreographed lean
The choad-tickler.
The Air-Hump
Through the legs!
En garde!
I’m Broken
Like a turtle
The Showoff

Let’s start some #AxlRumors:

Posted on by Standard 4

So, Axl is everywhere in the rock media world again and 15 year old me reads every stupid article like those it’s those goofy gossip columns in Rip or Metal Edge that used to be one sentence stories with bold rock star names jammed into one long nonsensical paragraph.  I’m actually excited to maybe try & see whatever version of Guns N’ Roses eventually ends up in Pittsburgh (if it makes it that long).

#AxlRumors

#AxlRumors

I even made a parody news article with my last post that fell super flat with no reads or comments.  Oh well, my bad.

I know I broke the one rule of blogging by never having regular steady content any more, but work with me here.  I want some interaction.  Maybe no one cares.  I guess we’ll see.

Let’s start some Axl Rose rumors.  Use the hashtag #AxlRumors on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or newer cooler social media platforms that I am wholly unaware of but still use hashtags.

You can post the url to your rumor(s) here in the comments, and we’ll see if it gets beyond this little corner of the internet, and if anyone finds their way back here.

Kapish?

I’ll start:

Now you.

⚠ Go! ⚠

(Don’t forget the #AxlRumors hashtag!)

Axl ‘Leaks’ Possible New GN’R Tunes

Posted on by Standard 1

Recent reports have surfaced that Guns N’ Roses’ sole founding member and self-proclaimed demigod Axl Rose may have literally leaked tunes to the upcoming GN’R “reunion” album. TMZ has posted but since redacted an audio clip of Axl Rose passing gas taken via iPhone by a fan in an adjacent restroom stall at a roadside rest stop in Tennessee. Lucky listeners may note that the flatulence has a powerful sound that when transcribed as musical notes or tablature would make an incredible guitar riff hearkening back to the Appetite era, and sounds light years heavier anything on Chinese Democracy.

Axl squeezing one out on stage.

Axl squeezing one out on stage.

The fan asked Rose to autograph a sanitary toilet seat cover, but Rose declined stating that his new boss, Angus, wouldn’t allow it. Further investigation showed that someone had ripped the dispenser off the wall and urinated all over it anyway.

When Ultimate-Guitar.com reached out to Dave Mustaine for comment, Dave enlightened the all of rock and metal fandom…

“Axl and I had the same voice coach right around the time that I was kicked out of Metallica for writing better riffs than Jaymz and being a bigger douche than Lars. I’m great friends with Slash since we used to do heroin together, but I have to say that Axl’s farts make better riffs than the too-low-in-the-mix guitars the last Velvet Revolver album, whatever it was called.”

Dave went on to tell everyone that he wrote all of the essential building blocks for Metallica’s albums up until the black one, and that he could play all of the Metallica Metallica riffs and solos in his sleep with his balls on a Hello Kitty ukulele.

Izzy Stradlin recently came out of his hole, saw his shadow, and asked Blabbermouth.net to get off of his lawn.

Sebastian Bach tweeted about the news, adding that Axl’s farts not only sound great, but that they smell like fresh roses and have since 1997. He wishes he could maximize his own lower orifice potential and maybe that would finally convince the other guys in Skid Row to take him back.

Slash and Duff McKagan could not be reached for comment. Dizzy Reed and Gilby Clarke tried to comment, but no one would listen. Steven Alder has an upcoming exclusive interview with the every-other-week best-sale-ever flyer from Guitar Center, keep reading with us for updates when we steal that story before doing any fact-checking.

Matt Sorum still wants to punch Axl in the face, but would take the gig with Axl/DC if the current drummer tries to kill anyone.  He has been asking Rush if he can join their band.

Axl has also been rumored to be singing for Queen (to be billed as Rocket Queen), and for Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, & Jason Bonham in a project billed as Red Zeppelin since Robert Plant won’t return any of their calls.  Rose’s trash collector’s brother denies rumors of Axl fronting a Dio-era Black Sabbath/Heaven & Hell tribute tour which may or may not include Bill Ward.

In related news, a special episode of ABC’s Celebrity Wife Swap will have Joe Perry and Slash trade places for a week to see how the other guy deals with each other’s wives & bands for two weeks on tour.

Youfest, Youapalooza, You’d Tour, or Youstock.

Posted on by Standard 13

Just over a year ago, I tried out a blog post asking for your input.  It totally didn’t work.  No one tried it.  So I’m gonna try it myself, and you’re going to hopefully reply this time.  I think I have a few more regular readers now.  Here are the rules as I set forth before…

Okay.  You just found out that you’re secretly related to Oprah, and since she knows you’re a huge music fan… she’s letting you put together the concert of all concerts to celebrate.  Since you have Oprah money, you pretty much have no limit there, but you are limited to bands that are alive and actively together, or that you believe could be reasonably brought back together with a little grea$ing of the wheels.  Example… you’re probably not going to get Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite or (even the Illusions tour) lineup to get on stage together… but you probably could get Steven Tyler & Joe Perry in the same room.

Put together the whole thing…

  • The Venue: A small club?  A stadium or amphitheater?  Your living room?
  • The Run: Is it a one-night-only deal, or is this a 3-day festival?
  • The Name: Every killer show has to have a killer title.  No “w00t-stock”, please.
  • The Bands: Who’s playing & in what order?  Bonus points for linking to ‘em.
  • Added Insanity: Want a 20 minute drum solo with Neil Peart & Lars Ulrich?  Want an unplugged duet with Danzig & Shakira?  Want GWAR to disembowel you on the stage?  A guitar battle between Eric Clapton and Slash?  Want all the bands to do nothing but Black Sabbath covers?  Can’t hurt to throw the idea out there!
  • Micro-Manage: If you really want to get nuts, what do you want to see in each performer’s setlist?  Either highlights or the whole thing.

I’ll think about mine while you post yours in the comments below, and in a few days or so I’ll revisit the whole idea in another blog post.  Links to bands’ websites, videos, and music strongly encouraged!

Got it?  I’m working under that set of guidelines.

I’d have just 2 sages, going back-to back with maybe 10 minutes in between each set.  None of this bands playing at the same time crap like I’ve seen at some festivals where 2 of the 5 bands I came to see are playing at the same damn time.

I narrowed it down to 6 days with 10 bands each day.  I didn’t work out set times… and the order is more random than I’d like.  Pairing bands can be difficult.  One one hand similar stuff sometimes pairs well… on the other it sometimes gets boring.

My problem is that I like a lot of bands & they constantly go in & out of rotation.  I’m always forgetting & adding.  This list might change if I were to start it all over tomorrow.

I’d like to see all the bands in their current incarnations as per the rules.  I’ve seen some of them and they’re great live acts… I’d like to see what the others can do live.  And, of course, if I had Oprah money, I’d put my bands in there too.  Who wouldn’t?

I’d need 2 equal size stages… something like a parking lot venue where the crowd just turns around.

I’d call it AiXeLFest 3.0, because it would kind of be like Leonard Part 6.  No one would have remembered 1 or 2.  Well, some people would.

—

AiXeLFeSt 3.0

Band [ Stage # ] Why?

  • “Hit List”

Day 1

AiXeLsyD [Stage 1] Why not? You’d put your band on too, if you could, right?

The Legendary Hucklebucks [Stage 2] These guys are ridiculously entertaining. As for the Metallica cover, they played it live once and the crowd went NUTS.

Michale Graves [Stage 1] Dude works hard, writes some good stuff.  I’d like to hear some Graves & Gotham Road stuff… plugged in.

  • “Casket” (Graves)
  • “Creo Burn” (Gotham Road)
  • “Saturday Night” (Misfits)

Locksley [Stage 2] Killer live band that I’ve had the honor of playing with, and damn nice guys.

  • “The Whip”
  • “Darling, It’s True”
  • “Don’t Make Me Wait”

Enemy You [Stage 1] I have one of their albums and I need more.  It’s ridiculously catchy.

The Nobodys [Stage 2] These guys are hilarious potty mouths, and I bet they’d be a great show.

BARS [Stage 1] I can’t seem to find much about this band online. Did they even tour? Do they still exist?

Fist Fight in the Parking Lot [Stage 2] Prepare to have your face rocked off.  You can claim it later at the lost & found.

  • “Side Steppin’ Ninja”
  • “S&M”
  • “Something

Willie Nelson and his guitar "Trigger"

Willie Nelson and his guitar "Trigger" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Willie Nelson [Stage 1] One of the coolest concerts I’ve ever seen was Willie Nelson.  The dude is a natural entertainer & such a great songwriter.

Motörhead [Stage 2] Have you seen the movie Lemmy?  Who wouldn’t want this guy to perform?  They rock harder than most bands can even imagine rocking.

  • “Ace of Spades”
  • “Sacrifice”
  • “Enter Sandman” (Metallica Cover)
  • “R.A.M.O.N.E.S.”

Day 2

Secrets Lie Within [Stage 1] These dudes are great friends that AiXeLsyD & Gasoline Dion played many shows with. I dig their sweet sugary sound.

Duncan Redmonds [Stage 2] The man is a genius. So many bands, so many songs.  His acoustic gigs look great on YouTube.  I’d like to hear stripped-down stuff from any of them.

I Voted For Kodos [Stage 1] Never had the pleasure of seeing them live.  They were a ska band, and then they weren’t, I think.  Ska is generally a fun time, and these dudes wrote some catchy songs.

Steel Panther [Stage 2] Why wouldn’t you want these guys at an almost week-long party?

The Misfits [Stage 1] At least someone is playing the songs.  I’d like to get as many of them as possible in one place and see either  a reconciliation or a brawl.

Reel Big Fish [Stage 2] One of the better bands I’ve seen live… they’re all kinds of crazy & fun.

  • “Beer”
  • “Everything Sucks”
  • “Another Day in Paradise” (Phil Collins cover)

Guns ‘n’ Wankers [Stage 1] I love the self-titled CD, it’s absolute genius.  Both versions.  I’d love to see this band live.

Mighty Mighty Bosstones [Stage 2] These guys are high-energy awesomeness live.  Must be that dude that just dances.

NOFX [Stage 1] I’d love to see them again.  They have an insane back-catalog of songs and I like most all of ‘em.

  • “Mattersville”
  • “Woah on the Woahs”
  • “We Threw Gasoline On The Fire And Now We Have Stumps For Arms And No Eyebrows”

Flogging Molly performing live at Rams Head Li...

Flogging Molly performing live at Rams Head Live in Baltimore, MD (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Flogging Molly [Stage 2] Ridiculously awesome live show.  Ridiculously catchy easily accessible songs.  Ridiculous ability to get the crowd pumped.  I’d go see them any time I can.

Day 3

Gasoline Dion [Stage 1] Again, if you were doing it & had a band, you’d put yourself on too.  Or maybe I just have a big rockstar ego.

  • “Cold”
  • “Bitch Pants Opera”
  • “She Shits in Stereo”

Screeching Weasel [Stage 2] They’re the “hey those aren’t the Ramones?” of my generation.  I know they don’t play much.  I’d make them.

  • “Celena”
  • “Cool Kids”
  • “My Right”
  • “I Wanna Be Naked”

Ann Beretta [Stage 1] One of my favorite bands.  There was some kind of split, but Rob & Russ soldiered on to make more killer music.

  • “Bottlecaps”
  • “Love’s Easy Tears”
  • “Russ’ Song”
  • “Efforts Wasted”

800 Octane [Stage 2] Don’t know much about them other than I found them online many years ago & totally dug all their stuff.

Tom Green [Stage 1] Listen to this. This dude is a great rapper, and bound to be wildly entertaining and unpredictable. His Prepare for Impact album is incredible.

Dropkick Murphys [Stage 2] Great live show.  Catchy songs.  Celtic.  What more do you need?

  • “I’m Shipping Up to Boston”
  • “Amazing Grace” (Traditional)
  • “Dirty Glass”

ALL [Stage 1] ALL!  Oddly, I like ALL better than that other band that they’re almost all in.

Band of Skulls [Stage 2] I bought this album recently and couldn’t get it out of the CD player.  I kept letting it play.

The Offspring performing lite in Fortaleza, Br...

The Offspring performing lite in Fortaleza, Brazil, November 15th 2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Offspring [Stage 1] Another memorable live show.  These guys are pros all the way, and quite memorable.  I saw this tour where they had this “intermission” with bubble machines and inflatable furniture… it was hilarious.

  • “Total Immortal” (AFI Cover)
  • “Self Esteem”
  • “The Kids Aren’t Alright”
  • “Bad Habit”

Avenged Sevenfold [Stage 2] I liked this band the instant I heard them on a Hopeless Records comp.  Then, they blew up.  Good for them!

Day 4

Sing the Evens, Play the Odds [Stage 1] Fun fact: I named this band. They’d do it if I asked nicely. They were a killer live show & great friends.  I feel like they had another album in them somewhere.

The Bloody Seamen [Stage 2] You need to see this band.  Everyone needs to see this band.  What are you waiting for? Go!

The Eyeliners [Stage 1] Beautiful girls playing poppy punk rock songs with mad skills?  I’m in. Gel is one of my favorite guitarists!

  • “Destroy” (an appearance by Joan Jett would be killer!)
  • “Think of Me”
  • “Do The Zombie”

Transplants [Stage 2] I liked the first album, and I’d love to see how they do it live.

Marky Ramone’s Blitzkrieg [Stage 1] This has to be a great show.  I wanna hear all these Ramones Songs.  Marky is a space cadet.

  • “When We Were Angels”
  • “Pet Sematary” (Ramones)
  • “R.A.M.O.N.E.S.” (Motörhead Cover)
  • “Bop ‘Til You Drop” (Ramones)

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes [Stage 2] They’ve got to be a great time.  They were booed at PNC Park once because Yinzers are dumb.  They need to come back to an appreciative audience.

  • “Country Roads” (John Denver cover)
  • “One Tin Soilder” (Original Caste cover)
  • “Goodbye Earl” (The Dixie Chicks cover)
  • “Hello” (Lionel Richie cover)

Poison [Stage 1] Balk or scoff if you want, but I’ve seen them a few times, and they’re a great light-hearted rock n’ roll show.  Brett Michaels & CC DeVille are great entertainers.

Beastie Boys [Stage 2] I’ve never seen them live, but I’d love to.  They are incredible at defining what they do, and then doing it.

Velvet Revolver [Stage 1] Their records are over-produced, but they’re a great dirty live rock band.  I don’t care if it’s Wieland or whoever the new guy will be.

  • “Set Me Free”
  • “Slither”
  • “Negative Creep” (Nirvana cover)
  • “Mr. Brownstone” (Guns N’ Roses)

Prince playing at Coachella 2008.

Prince playing at Coachella 2008. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Prince [Stage 2] Absolute genius.  Incredibly insane.  I’d love to see this in action.  Ever see Purple Rain?  If he brought out Morris Day & the Time for a few, it would also be incredible.

Day 5

Exclusion Principle|45 min.|1|My favorite local band ever?  Probably.  These dudes gigged with AiXeLsyD all the time, and were awesome.  For Oprah money, I want a recording too.

Bastard Bearded Irishmen [Stage 2] If you live in the burgh, are at all of fan of Celtic stuff, and haven’t seen them… please kick your own ass now.

  • “In Heaven There Is No Beer” (Ernst Neubach & Ralph Maria Siegel cover)
  • “Drinkem’, Drankem, Drunkem’ “
  • “Black Velvet Band” (traditional)
  • “Float” (Flogging Molly cover)

Dethlehem [Stage 1] If any orcs show up to this gig, these guys will have it covered.  They also slay eardrums with magical sweeping.

The Unseen [Stage 2] These guys are a great live show.  I’m not sure who’s even in the band any more.  High energy songs, high energy show.

Omegalord [Stage 1] “Not. Gonna. Die.  …With bullets in my gun!”  Badass biker metal like Motörhead meets Black Sabbath, cool live show.  Oprah money may convince them to reunite.

Nerf Herder [Stage 2] Hilarious songs, great hooks, and goofy premises…  I wish this band churned out more albums & toured more.

Tenacious D [Stage 1] These guys are awesome.  With Dave Grohl on Drums and or additional guitar it would rock that much harder.

Dr. Dre [Stage 2] Musical genius.  Lyrical genius.  Production genius. Marketing genius. Hasn’t made kid movies.  I’d like to see Ice Cube, Eminem, MC Ren, DJ Yella, & Snoop do some guest spots.

  • “Nuthin’ but a ‘G’ Thang”
  • “Natural Born Killaz” (Dr. Dre & Ice Cube)
  • “Keep Their Heads Ringin'”
  • “Straight Outta Compton” (N.W.A.)

Slash playing a show with Velvet Revolver

Slash playing a show with Velvet Revolver (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Slash, Miles Kennedy, & the Conspirators [Stage 1] Slash & Miles Kennedy go well together.  They ought to keep doing it.  Slash digs his touring band.  They ought to keep doing it.  I need to see this band if/when they come through the ‘Burgh.  Slash has a great body of songs to pull from.

  • “Back & Forth Again” (Slash’s Snakepit)
  • “Starlight”
  • “Rocket Queen” (Guns N’ Roses)
  • “Ghost”

Aerosmith [Stage 2] I’ve never seen them, I’d like to before someone dies or they hate each other forever (again).  I bet it’s a hell of a show.

  • “Mama Kin”
  • “Walk This Way”
  • “Big Ten Inch Record”
  • “Love in an Elevator”
  • “Train Kept A-Rollin'” (Tiny Bradshaw cover)

Day 6

Ernie and the Berts [Stage 1] Yup.  I was in too many bands, and I self-promote way too much.

Peelander-Z playing at the Asian Heritage cele...

Peelander-Z playing at the Asian Heritage celebration in New York at LaGuardia Community College (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Peelander-Z [Stage 2] These guys are pretty much inexplicable as a live act.  It’s an experience.  It’s like you’re on another planet.  There’s so much interaction & participation, it’s hardly like watching a band… it’s like being in one.

The Bloodhound Gang [Stage 1] Such a fun live show.  It’s like a dirty dirty potty-humor filled  circus.

  • “It’s Tricky”
  • “Mope”
  • “Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss”

The Sword [Stage 2] These guys are so heavy, they might cause the stage to collapse.  These are the coolest riffs you’ll get outside of a Sabbath album.

AFI [Stage 1] So many different sounds, and I like them all.  I caught the very end of their set once at a Warped Tour.  I’d like to see a full set.

  • “I Wanna Get A Mohawk (But Mom Won’t Let Me Get One)”
  • “Totalimmortal”
  • “Kill Caustic”
  • “Days of the Phoenix”

The Drummer is the main vocals. Can't think of...

SNUFF: The Drummer is the main vocals. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Snuff [Stage 2] Such a great band.  So many albums, so many songs, so many related projects, and I love them all.  They need to come to the US so I can see them!

Rancid [Stage 1] So catchy, great live band, and all kinds of fun.  Rancid is a great gateway into ska & punk rock.

Danzig [Stage 2] Badassery abounds from the great tiny one.  If only Danzig could learn to not take himself so seriously.  Great live show though!

Green Day [Stage 1] I’ve never seen them live.  I’d love to.  I enjoy many of their albums & have for quite some time. They’ve become incredibly successful just doing what they do.

  • “2,000 Light Years Away”
  • “She”
  • “F.O.D.”
  • “Church on Sunday”

Metallica [Stage 2] METALLICA!  Even without Jason Newsted, and even after a few blah albums… I’d like to see them again.  They’re still THE metal band.

—

Son of Sam would be cool too if Davey Havok were to sing… or a Samhain reunion, or even the Teen Idols or The Donnas.  Then there’s, Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards, The Foo Fighters, Psychostick, Green Jellÿ, The Aquabats, The Phenomenauts, Head Cat, Sixer, Warp 11, The Distillers, Weird Al, Electric Eel Shock, and so many others..  I could easily add another day & lots more locals like The Cheats, Undercover Saints, Scratch ‘n Sniffs, Trash Magnet, Black Casket, maybe even Anti-Flag.  Maybe we could reunite the Satanic Bat?

I wonder how much money or money to a charity it would take to get Ozzy Osborne, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, and Bill Ward all to get on stage together?  Think I could get Dave back into Sum 41?  Then there’s Duff McKagan’s Loaded or Izzy Stradlin (& maybe even the Ju Ju Hounds).  Could I pay enough to bring Bobby Steele and The Undead out of retirement or for Danzig to play with John Christ, Chuck Biscuits, & Eerie Von?  Maybe a Pinhead Gunpowder or The Network appearance could happen?  I like the weird/quirky stuff.

I’d like to see all the bands in their current incarnations as per the rules.  I’ve seen some of them and they’re great live acts… I’d like to see what the others can do live.  And, of course, if I had Oprah money, I’d put my bands in there too.  Who wouldn’t?

As far as the “hits”, I tried to include rare stuff or stuff that I’d go just nuts without hearing.

So that’s my list.  Today.  Obviously, I find it hard to narrow down.  Now, make your own!  You don’t have to get as detailed as me.  You can list your favorites in the comments below.  You could post it on your own blog or as a Facebook note & keep it going.

Would you come to my show?

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Dear Mr. Rose,

Posted on by Standard 15

Dear Mr. Rose,

Thanks for pissing on the remaining shreds of hope that I had that there could ever be an Appetite-era lineup reunion of the infamous Guns N’ Roses.  I wasn’t hoping for a world tour or anything.  Just a 1-time set at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame would have been gracious and exciting.

I watched as the band burned bright, then fell apart.  Illusions I & II are the sound of a band imploding, and Spaghetti Incident is the sound of a band phoning it in.  Chinese Democracy is the unsettling ranting of a lunatic.

I have read the biographies, and I have made a public plea for a reunion.  Appetite for Destruction floored me when I was a teenager.  The guitars were blaring and dancing around each other perfectly.  The drums made my heat beat faster.  The bass managed to weave it all together.  The vocals made me want to scream and yell.  Lies was absolutely brilliant.  The raw aggression of the earlier “live” tracks were the Guns, & the stripped down yet edgy acoustic tracks were the Roses.

You could have been a grown-ass-man, and set aside your ego, your demons, and whatever else is plaguing you.  You could have probably even gotten away with not showing up for rehearsal, sound check or even acknowledging the existence of the other guys off stage.  Everyone knows you’re supposedly some sort of “temperamental genius” by now, and would have let it slide.  I mean, you really never got much more than a monetary slap on the wrist for inciting multiple riots.  If you can get away with that, you can pretty much get away with anything.

It seems that you fear reuniting with the old lineup would invalidate the existence of the current lineup of Guns N’ Roses.  The only thing that invalidates the current lineup is one W. Axl Rose.  You have made it unequivocally clear that the founding members of the band who wrote the songs that you’re surely playing on tour & developed the sound that you try so hard to get away from are nothing but hired guns (pun intended) to your apparently infallible and virtually unreachable artistic vision.  Why should we put any stock in the revolving door of members that has been present since the departure of core members Duff & Slash?  Perhaps Izzy was the most intelligent of the bunch, getting out shortly after Adler was ousted.  Gilby Clarke sure was never given status as a full band member.  Even Buckethead was called out for his apparent inabilities to record or tour when he left the band.  It’s always someone else’s fault, isn’t it?  Does Dizzy Reed know any other words than “Yes, Axl”?  (Surely even you have to notice how terrible the piano sounds on live versions of “Patience” and “Paradise City“.)

By all accounts it’s Axl who was always late to the stage, Axl who left everyone hanging in Chicago, Axl & some guy that wasn’t even in the band that included a hidden Charles Manson cover on an album despite the rest of the band’s wishes, Axl who called in Paul Tobias without asking anyone else, Axl who demanded legal ownership of the band name at a time when it was impossible for the others to refuse (all aiming to keep the fans happy), Axl who put out no albums while former bands mates cranked out multiple albums from multiple projects, and Axl who consistently points out the shortcomings of his peers and former friends through some self-created veil of paranoia while never taking the time to analyze or even admit to his own self-destructive actions.

Thank you for destroying my favorite band.

I guess I do have to thank you for making sure that the last memory of my favorite lineup won’t be some half-hearted attempt at recapturing some inspirational spark or any multitude of possibly disappointing outcomes.

Former Fan,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

Appetite for Destruction

Appetite for Destruction (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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