Tag Archives: hamburger

Playlist | Fast Food Punk Tunes

Posted on by Standard 2

This is another punk-rock leaning short one. “Bloodbath at Burger King” is an absolute gem, as are many others here. This is what I have so far:

  • Screeching Weasel – “I Saw The Devil At McDonalds (Demo)”
  • Teenage Bottlerocket – “Blood Bath At Burger King”
  • The Berlin Project – “Taco Bell World”
  • Gas Station Boner Pills – “Fist Fight at the Waffle House”
  • Richies – “Le Big Mac”
  • Indigo Girls – “Dairy Queen”
  • The Knuckleheadz – “Fuck McDz”
  • Teenage Bottlerocket – “Too Much La Collina”
  • Wesley Willis – “Rock ‘N Roll McDonald’s”
  • The Smithereens – “White Castle Blues”
  • Boris the Sprinkler – “Don’t Really Want To Walk To Taco Bell Without You”
  • Silly Stu – “McDonald’s in the Pentagon”
  • Motorpsychos – “Fries With That”
  • The Aquabats! – “Burger Rain!”
  • Parry Gripp – “Raining Tacos”

What am I missing? Are there punk-leaning songs about Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, KFC, Raising Cane’s, or Chick-fil-A? Panera? Jersey Mike’s, Jimmy John’s, Subway, Quizno’s, Vocelli Pizza, Papa John’s, or Domino’s? What about Hardee’s, Carl’s Jr., Checker’s, Rally’s, Five Guy’s, In & Out, Krystal, Jack-in-the-Box, Rax, Arby’s, or Auntie Anne’s? I’ll even take Eat’n Park or Denny’s.

I have the current list up on Amazon Music & Spotify.

Playlist | Fast Food
Playlist | Fast Food

🍔🌮

I wish I could include the great Wat Tyler track “There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Satan.” It doesn’t appear to be available for streaming. I may have to settle for adding the original.

Holy cow, reddit’s r/punk and Facebook’s Oddly Specific Playlists stepped up with some killer suggestions! The list is currently at 85 tracks. Some fit more loosely than others… but close enough counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and punk rock.

Also, I need to figure out the right plugin to let me embed Amazon playlists here.

Wendy’s Forgot How to Melt Cheese 🤷

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.

I forgot that I blogged about Wendy’s not that long ago by sharing a pair of glorious Google Maps reviews. I guess I blogged about them way back in 2009 too. They never replied, apparently. Maybe I pick on them too much? Like this fork fail in 2012!

Sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t… but the mazes are fun. Aren’t they? (I’m looking at you Pizza Hut! Yes, you! I saw that dirty delete. But you too, La Choy, Pepperidge Farm, Aldi, & The Potato Conglomerate!)

I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.

Wendy's Maze - They Need Help Melting Cheese

This is what I wrote…

From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA)
To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com>
Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,

I write to you today with great concern.  Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles.  The dining room is not clean.  There are no baked potatoes about ⅓ of the time when I try to order them.  Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive.  Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater. 

We should have ordered in the app.  That was my first mistake.  We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato.  After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes.  A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier  laughed, looked at  me and repeated the rather rude “NO!”  Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea.  Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.

My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single.  The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored.  In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper.  The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier.  This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID.  Who the hell pays in cash?

I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us.  I mean, at this point who is robbing who?  If necessary, I will send a check to make it right.  Do people still use checks?  Maybe I can Venmo you.

Let me add some more context.  We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries.  I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal.  Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup.  Both pumps were empty.  There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue.  I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home.  My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets.  For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream.  I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there.  I commend your commitment to quality.

Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past.  I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days.  What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw?  Cheese.

That’s right, cheese.  How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted?  American cheese too!  If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt.  I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point.  But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese?  Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill?  Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam?  Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact?  Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).

I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers?  It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.  

Also, are you OK?  How is this permissible or even passable?  Is no one from corporate checking on these locations?  Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program?  If there is, are these standards being met?  If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken.  It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare.  I am not looking for free food.  I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.

I have attached a maze for you.  It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation.  Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track.  Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine?  I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper.  It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality.  The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese.  I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings.  They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container.  I miss those days.  Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?

I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers.  🤯  What happened?  I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar.  How did we come to this?

I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far.  I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.

Inquisitively.

-Eric

—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

This is what I got back:

From: Wendy’s Customer Care <customercare@wendys.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ]
To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>

Dear Eric,

Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.

At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.

The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.

We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendy’s App, tap the ‘Offers’ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!

Regards,

The Wendy’s Company

And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.

I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:

From: Moundsville 391 <moundsville00391@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Subject: Following Up
To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>

Hello Eric, 

My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal. 

Best Regards,

Ryder

I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and 𝕏 Twitter accounts. 🤣 No response from FB Messenger, either.

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

I may have to move to snail mail.

Have any advice or similar experience?

Oh, I almost forgot. How are they going to make a burger with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns if they can’t melt cheese? This is absolute shenanigans.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes

Posted on by Standard 2
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

Well then, it’s finally here. I finished maze book number two! This one is better than the last one, I promise. The first was sort of a test run just to see how Amazon KDP works. I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone that bought that book, but this one just objectively looks better and much more time was put into its creation. It ought to be much more challenging and enjoyable, IMHO.

It’s called You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes. Thanks to @brain.d.37 on Threads for suggesting the title!

This book a collection of a bunch more larger mazes, and a few small ones that I have been drawing since late 2023. There’s no common theme other than most of the mazes have a silly vibe. A few have no vibe at all. There’s aliens, rodents, yard work, holiday stuff, rock n’ roll, a treasure map, food, retail aversion, gross stuff, & more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

I hope you consider picking up a copy for yourself, & maybe even one for a friend? If not, just sharing the link to someone who you think may enjoy it, or just sharing it in general would be awesome.

The link is https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9Y7SFXS and I’d love if you could share it, review it, favorite it or save it to a list… anything to help even if you’re not interested in a purchase. You could give me a good (or terrible) review or add it to your list on GoodReads too, if that’s your thing.

I had fun making a collage with punk ‘zine vibes for the cover. I busted out the mixed media, printed on weird paper, got two cutting, ripping, & coffee staining… and unearthed the leopard & cheetah print tape.

All of the mazes were hand-drawn, scanned in, edited (& “solved”) in paint.NET, & put together with Open Office. I haven’t stepped into the world of digital drawing yet, and I like my free programs. Someday, I’ll probably dive into GIMP a little more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Full Front & Back Cover)

I love drawing the mazes, and it’s a great creative outlet like blogging or making music or playing out live. I’m sitting on a pile of old ones that I can convert into a book… but I need to make sure they’re all solvable and do the solutions.

Find the tone! Guitar amp stack maze collage.

Some are too big to fit on my scanner, and scanning with my phone has less than desirable results… so I’m gonna have to go somewhere like a FedEx Office store and hope they can help before they all disappear. I have a problem picking up any notebook that catches my eye and is the right price, regardless of size & paper type. I like the feel & the calming of pen on paper.

Some of the ones that I have posted here in writing goofy emails/letters to companies probably can’t be included because of copyrights or trademarks when I include their products. (Unless La Choy/Conagra, Pizza Hut, Sheetz, Dollar Shave Club, Pepperidge Farm, Disney/Lucasfilm & more sign off on it, or it falls under fair use? I guess I could have included this one or these two.)

I guess I did figure this whole thing out.

Because I have been excited about this, and I made a small collage with leftover bits, I popped up some new merch designs in my TeePublic & RedBubble stores with that new collage & the book cover images. I do have some older designs there with a few of the mazes that are featured in this book too. If you have an account & follow me on either of those sites, it may help my stuff get seen a bit more. I’d appreciate any form of liking/sharing/tagging if you’re so inclined!

TeePublic "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13
RedBubble "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13

In fact, check out all these designs from or inspired by the book, you can get them on all kinds of merch at each store! (I ordered a sticker, a magnet, a coffee cup, & a hoodie so I’m already in the hole.)

Cover & Collage Designs:

Mazes featured in the book:

So, what do you think? Any of it catch your idea? Any ideas for maze merch? Think you’ll pick up a copy?

If you happen to get something, post a photo or video of yourself with it, & tag me on social media! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

Legoland New York Shenanigans – Go there!

Posted on by Standard Reply

🗽 Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty. Her tablet should say "Of course you're tired, after this amusement park you'll be Poor."
Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty.

This year, we let the kids pick the vacations. Luckily a new job afforded me more time, and we took a year off from being camp counselors/directors. I had offered the beach. I hate the beach, but we have never gone as a family. They brainstormed & settled on Legoland in New York, a trip to visit good friends that live in NJ who took us to New York City, and an upcoming trip to Washington DC.

My wife did the booking/research and set us up for 3 nights in the hotel and 2 days in the park. We both looked at two Facebook groups prior to going to help glean some knowledge:

Somehow, I was dirty banned from the first group with no warning or explanation. 😂 The second group is totally cool. I would suggest joining both. The only thing I can think that got me banned was the toilet thing (keep reading), or that I said to take cash even though they all said not to. (More on that in a bit too.)

I’ll put a list of my tips at the end.

Full disclosure: I like LEGO as much as if not more than the kids. We all do. Even my wife has gotten into building some really cool sets.

Family photo at the front sign to LEGOLAND New York.
The photo packaghe was worth it.
LEGOLAND refrigerator magnet made of... LEGO bricks.
My magnet may get glued together…

The hotel was super cool. We stayed in a Kingdom themed room. It had a separate nook with bunk bends and a TV for the kids, and a King-sized bed & TV for the adults. It came with a bin full of mostly Duplo & some LEGO to play with. It also had a treasure-hunt the first day to get (3) LEGO poly bag sets. We got them the 2nd night too, but not the 3rd. 🤷

LEGO frog atop a vast vault.
This guy guards the treasure.
kids playing Dick Tracy to get the lock combo code.
Found it!

I think we watched ALL of the LEGO movies in the room. That was neat.

The lobby has a giant castle that looks like LEGO, a treasure-trove of Duplo & Lego blocks, a climbing wall that isn’t a climbing wall, an area with large LEGO bricks made out of some material that feels like Crocs. There are so many photo opportunities throughout the hotel and park, it’s crazy.

I am here to storm LEGO castle!
I want one in the back yard.
Do you like my hat? It is the bastard child of a science experiment gone wrong. I left some LEGO and a pair of Crocs in that machine from The Fly, and welll... Jeff Goldblum is always pressing buttons.
Where can I buy these Croc-LEGO hybrids?
This is ¾ of us sitting on the wall that you're not supposed to climb on.
“We’re loners Dottie, rebels!”

Yeah. 4,672 kids climbed on this wall. Employees would all politely tell them to get off, and the parent / grandparent / aunt / uncle /random stranger would undoubtedly always exclaim “But, it looks like a climbing wall!” There is a sign to the left that says not to climb… but really, it LOOKS like a climbing wall. I suggest the shore it up so it’s safe to climb, or put stuff on the shelves so they don’t look like seats. Or maybe get a bigger more centralized “No Climbing” sign.

The restaurants in the park & at the hotel were interesting. They were crazy expensive, which we had gleaned from the groups, and kind of just expected anyway. The food was eh. I did not like their “fry sauce” on the burger. Breakfast was free with the stay and was a nice tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, French toast sticks, sausage, tator tots or home fries, fresh fruit, and the option of coffee, juice, milk, or water to drink. Pop or iced tea was an up charge.

RIDE THE DRAGON! 🐉🤘
🐉

The rides and attractions are definitely geared to pre-teen kids, but were fun for the whole family. The Dragon was my son’s first roller coaster ride. The indoor rides were fun, and of course they drop you in the gift shops. We kept telling my son that the same stuff would be in the big store. We were wrong. Some stuff was different. No build a minifigure in the big store.

We did not do the water park… It’s convoluted as you have to reserve time in 20 minute increments and it seems like a wild pain in the keister. We thought about doing the pool at the hotel after the park, but we decided to chill the first day and it was raining the second day. The pirate themed rides were perfect for us.

I almost bought the park-exclusive Legoland New York set, and would have for $75, but I didn’t feel like it was worth the $100 asking price. Maybe next time? We did get the photo package for one day, and they kids’ LEGOLAND drivers license photos. I did buy two little New York City themed sets.

OH NO!

The thing that made me laugh the most was our toilet project.

My son was having fun playing with the blocks and all the other kids in the hotel lobby. He became somewhat of a warmonger or arms dealer. Kids were coming up to him like he was Peter Dinklage in that Thor Movie where he forged Stormbreaker, or Tony Stark supplying all sides with arms. He was making Duplo and LEGO swords, guns, and who knows what else for any kid that would ask. He was having an absolute blast. I built Godzilla and a city to smash to pass some time. I also built a Duplo rubber duck and we attached to it a Ninjago figure’s head.

Then my daughter and I got silly. She built a pile of poop out of brown LEGO bricks. I told her to get me a bunch of white Duplo blocks, and made a toilet. At first, we just sat her stuffed LEGO guy in a chicken costume minifig on it. Then, we put it on the tray beside a salad that a LEGO waitress minifig sculpture was carrying. It was hilarious to see kids & adults discover it.

Sophisticated art. Finely schooled LEGO and Duplo artists add to an existing art installation, to make several high-brown political and societal statements. OR A Duplo toilet featuring a LEGO poop put on a serving tray next to a salad on a minifigure LEGO sculpture.
I’m easily amused. I don’t know what her deal is.

All-in-all, we had a great time. I think you will too if you’re into LEGO and your kids are the right age. Check out the last of my pics if you didn’t already see them on Instagram, or skip down to my helpful tips!

Knock. Knock.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.
This was before the LEGOLAND driver's licenses were issued.
Imagine the car is Legoland, and I am my bank account.
It wasn't me.
I didn’t do it.
☠️
Even LEGO skulls are cool. ☠️
Dave is an unrecognized LEGO genius.
#TeamDave
LEGO Mt. Rushmore was cool AND creepy.
They sang to us.
LEGO Statue of Liberty & Staten Island Ferry!
We rode the real one later that week!
LEGO NYC
Impressive, but the real thing was WILD.
Ninjago
The kids loved this guy.
Minifigure sculptures.
This isn’;’t nearly all of them.
New York Postcard 40519 | Other
New York Postcard 40519 | Other
New York City 21028 | Architecture
New York City 21028 | Architecture

My LEGOLAND New York tips:

  • I would suggest getting the app. It was helpful with menus, maps, reservations, etc.
    • You scan a barcode for the menus as the hotel restaurants.
    • You can use the app to order at some food establishments in the park.
    • You need reservations for the $20 cafeteria burger meals at the Bricks Family restaurant.
  • Don’t climb the wall that looks like a climbing wall, or do it quick before they yell at you.
  • Get the burger with the fry sauce on the side.
  • The BBQ place was good!
  • The crappy unwanted minifigures your kid brings to trade are the same ones that every other kid brings to trade, and what the employees have on their carts or badges to offer for trade.
  • BRING CASH. 💵 Even though the Legoland NY FB tips & tricks group that unceremoniously booted me implores you to leave all cash at home… You want to tip, right? If you want to leave a tip for breakfast where you don’t get any add-ons, for the room service, or the hotel cleaning staff, you need cash.
    • There is not even an ATM on site, I asked the front desk.
    • Don’t try to use cash anywhere else there, which is actually fantastic.
    • We had the kids save up their own money for vacation, then put it on VISA gift cards before we went. They purchased what they wanted at their own discretion. We bought them one clothing or stuffed animal item each.
  • Kids’ meals come with a juice pouch in the cute little lunch bag… but it doesn’t advertise that anywhere… so, we bought 2 extra drinks for $10 the first lunch. 🤦‍♂️
  • Pack a bag with water, snacks, or even lunch.
  • The build-you-own minifigure part selection was grim in the hotel store.
  • Get you some LEGO themed shirts.
  • The Elevator Dance Parties are a blast at the hotel.
Shock 'n' Roll is NOT to be confused with the shocker. 🤘
🤘

If you have been there, please share your tips & tricks in the comments! If you have not, ask some questions and I’ll try to answer!

A Tale of Two Wendy’s.

Posted on by Standard 1

I eat fast food more than a person should. I’m always on the go all over the place with work, and when I get to dine out… fast food is usually a safe shellfish-(and therefore death)-free option. Wendy’s burgers are pretty good. I like a baked potato more than fries sometimes… if I have time to sit & eat.

In my never-ending quest to be ridiculous for absolutely no reason other than self-amusement, I present this to you:

Massive Maze Morass ✍

Posted on by Standard Reply

Here’s a bunch more mazes. No real common theme. Inspiration is weird. Try ’em, post ’em, tag me. Post it on your WordPress or Instagram or Twitter, or Facebook or Tumblr or TikTok or whatever. I’m @aixelsyd13 on most all platforms. I think I even signed up for Hive and Mastodon. Host it somewhere and use html to post it here in the comments. You have a world full of options.

Do it on your phone or tablet. Print it and do it like it’s 1993. Have fun. There are no rules. Anarchy abounds!

_autotone

Smoked BBQ Burgers 🍔

Posted on by Standard Reply

My son & I made some smoked BBQ burgers. Thought I would blog it so I can refer back.

🍔

Used lump charcoal on a side smoker-box attachment on my Char-Griller grill, & a mix of wood chips – some Jack Daniels oak barrel ones and an apple/hickory/oak mix. I just put the chips in a foil tray on that grate, I don’t have a box for the

The burgers were just Ground beef, a few drops of A1, some Rib Rack Honey BBQ sauce, McCormick Grill Mates barbecue seasoning, onion powder, minced garlic, French’s crispy fried onions, & some chopped up slices of Gouda cheese.

Little dude helped prep the starter chimney for the grill, and mix the burgers, make some patties & check the temperature.

Tried to keep it at 250° for about an hour,

went up a few times so we played with the vents to get it right.

Slathered on some BBQ sauce at the end for a little less than 10 minutes.

The buns, which I should do on the propane side of the grill next time…

Melted some butter & garlic in rhe microwave, brushed it on the buns, put them in the oven at 375° on a pan with a roasting rack for a few minutes to toast them… pulled them put and added BBQ sauce to the bottom and a slice of Gouda and some more French’s onions to the top… toasted until the cheese was starting to melt & the onions got a little more toasty.

Not a bad dinner! It tasted like a Rack of ribs on a bun and the burgers were really juicy. It almost tasted like a rack of ribs or some brisket on a bun.

🍔

So, how do you do your burgers on the smoker? I did get advise to sear, but skipped that as they seemed done & pretty together when I checked them. Any special recipes outside of the normal? We do a mushroom and swiss melt with these onions too… sometimes I make a molten cheese ball on the inside… from regular grilling to the counter-top grill. We try to make them different that what you typically get out. I have been known to do pizza or chili cheese burgers too… but we are definitely coming back to these and trying more styles in the smoker. Maybe a bacon/cheddar/jalapeño one next?

Five Guys Burgers and Fries: Doing It Right

Posted on by Standard 9

So, the other day I posted a Facebook status about Five Guys Burgers and Fries, and I thought I’d share it here and maybe even add some more thoughts.  It seemed to get a lot of comments pretty quickly.

Here it is:

I’ll tell you what, for all the customer service and food service that I do complain about… one place stands out as incredible. Every time I’m at a Five Guys Burgers and Fries no matter the location, they are fully staffed… everyone is doing a job & doing it quickly & efficiently with a rather pleasant look on their face. They communicate with each other quite well. The employees seem to be having fun while getting their job done, and they seem to take pride in what they do. I can only assume they pay much better than the average fast food joint, or just know how to delegate responsibilities evenly & know how to treat employees. I was in the one in Robinson when they got SLAMMED at lunch time today, and they put more people on registers, and worked down an ridiculously large amount of people in a short time. It helps that they only have burgers & the occasional hot dog as a menu item I’m sure, but it still is pretty impressive.

I'll tell you what, for all the customer service and food service that I do complain about... one place stands out as incredible. Every time I'm at a Five Guys Burgers and Fries no matter the location, they are fully staffed... everyone is doing a job & doing it quickly & efficiently with a rather pleasant look on their face. They communicate with each other quite well. The employees seem to be having fun while getting their job done, and they seem to take pride in what they do. I can only assume they pay much better than the average fast food joint, or just know how to delegate responsibilities evenly & know how to treat employees. I was in the one in Robinson when they got SLAMMED at lunch time today, and they put more people on registers, and worked down an ridiculously large amount of people in a short time. It helps that they only have burgers & the occasional hot dog as a menu item I'm sure, but it still is pretty impressive.

I’ll tell you what…

I should take a video of 10 minutes in a Five Guys and 10 minutes in this damn McDonald’s on West Liberty Ave. and compare how they’re run.  McDonald’s employees are slow, confused, careless, and sometimes even slovenly.  Five Guys employees seem to be the exact opposite on every front.

I’ve been to several locations, the Waterworks, Murrysville, Robinson, and Greensburg… and they’ve all been run with the same efficiency, pleasantness, and extreme cleanliness.  I just think it ought to be said that it’s noticed by the customers, and they need to keep doing what they’re doing.

Of course, I’m very aware of food allergies, and peanuts are a big thing at Five Guys.  This seems to get a bunch of flack, but they do take allergies seriously.  The peanut-allergic have to accept it just like I accept that being allergic to shellfish, I’m not going to get a safe meal at Red Lobster.  It’s OK.  There are many many places to dine & choices to make.  I’m glad that I have Five Guys as a choice.  I’ve heard that they are excellent in handling a dairy allergy.  Just check out the comments in the image above to the right.  I see the allergy warnings on the door as a very responsible thing to do.

Even after all that… the burgers are just absolutely delicious.  I tend to get a bacon cheeseburger with A1 and green peppers… sometimes even mushrooms.  The french fries are almost as awesome as Kennywood’s Potato Patch fries, and that’s hard to do.  The ingredients are always fresh, the burgers always cooked perfectly.  One of these days I want to try a hot dog… but I can never get past the burgers.  Maybe a little burger & a hot dog will have to do some day?  I don’t even know if I can handle that.  I’m glad I don’t live too close to one of these places, I’d be there way too often.

I hope to send a link to this to Five Guys, just to tell them that I appreciate what they’re doing, and to keep on doing it.  Customers can see and appreciate that the employees are enjoying what they do, and doing it well.  It does make a difference.

Five Guys Burgers and Fries on Urbanspoon Five Guys Burgers and Fries on Urbanspoon
Five Guys Burgers and Fries on Urbanspoon Five Guys Burgers and Fries on Urbanspoon

Related Articles

Hamburgers vs. Meatballs vs. Meatloaf?

Posted on by Standard 13

This thought came to mind while making hamburgers for the holiday.  I remembered the commercials for ranch burgers & I had a packet of the ranch dressing mix, so I looked up their recipe.  It contained breadcrumbs.  I always thought breadcrumbs belong in meatballs or meatloaf, but not hamburgers.  Then there’s egg.  I put it in meatloaf but not in meatballs or hamburger.  They’re all almost the exact same thing… but then they’re all completely different.

I generally always throw them all together without a recipe.  They’re easy to do that way.  I guess everyone has their own way to do things.  I make them all the same sometimes, but sometimes I add something different for fun.

I’m just wondering how other people do things?

I’d love some feedback in the comments below.  I’ll share how I generally do things.  These aren’t really recipes, and I don’t measure much, but this is typically what goes in each:

Hamburgers

Meatballs

  • Ground Beef (Sometimes Turkey)
  • Crushed Croutons (Whatever we have for the salad if we’re having one, or a nice mix of spices or whatever.)
  • Parmesan/Romano “shake” cheese
  • Kraft Roasted Red Pepper Italian Dressing (It spices them well, keeps them nice & moist!)
  • Black Pepper

Meatloaf

  • Ground Beef
  • Egg
  • Bread or crushed crackers.  (I like the bread ripped up more than the crackers.)
  • A1, Ketchup, Mustard, or BBQ sauce… or a combo of all of them.
  • Season All
  • Black Pepper

(Click here for a crazy meatloaf recipe.)

Of course sometimes I add garlic, or onion powder, or something crazy.  That’s the fun if it though, isn’t it?  So, what goes in your meatballs, hamburgers, or meatloaf?

Raw Ground beef

Raw Ground beef (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Related Articles

The Mythical Magical McGangbang

Posted on by Standard 4

You’ve heard of the McGangBang, right?  For the uninitiated, there’s a world out there of fast food items not listed on the menu that are available for your dining pleasure (and most likely for your digestive displeasure) if you’re in the know, and if the employees are in the know.  This list from McDonald’s alone is pretty impressive.  There are many others out there.  My friend Andy used to apparently get a “Volcano” from Taco Bell, which was described to me as a burrito with everything in it.  Now that they have volcano tacos & burritos that are something else entirely, that might be an ordering issue.  If you’ve got time to kill or your interest is piqued, it’s definitely worth Googling.

At any rate, while I have raised a legitimate issue with McDonald’s, and I have gotten one response so far… I decided to use my W(aL)D email address to address a ridiculous issue with them.  So, off to the McWebform I went!  Sadly, you’re forced to pick a category… none of which exactly fits my query.   I think I posted to “McDonald’s U.S. Marketing, Promotions, and Advertising“, but it seems like my answer was brought about by the “Unsolicited Idea Policy“.  Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  On to the emails…

My original submission (via McWebform):

Hello Friends,

I was wondering if you are aware of the mythical magical McGang-Bang, and if at any time in the future, you man be adding it officially to your menu?

I believe it to be a McChicken sandwich stuffed inside a Double Cheeseburger, the new 99¢ McDouble, or even a Big Mac.  The exact specifics are a subject of hot debate, as this is a rare creature, like Bigfoot, el Chupacabra, or the Unicorn.  There is also debate on whether to discard an extra bun or down it whole.

If you do plan to offer this in the future, what would the proper spelling be?  McGangBang, McGangbang, McGang-Bang, or McGang-bang?  I could see how all options would be acceptable?

I’m not sure where the name comes from, but it sure is catchy.  (Much better than “Arch Deluxe”, no?)

I’d like to be able to go into a McDonald’s and order a McGang-Bang without being looked at like I’m crazy when it’s common knowledge among certain circles.

Thanks for your time, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the matter!

-E.

Their “we got it, we’ll get back to you” reply:

From: McDonald’s DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com
Date: Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Subject: McDonald’s Web Site Comment or Question
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Thank you for visiting McDonald’s website. Below is your email which has been submitted to McDonald’s Customer Response Center. While replies to this e-mail cannot be received, should you need to contact us again, please feel free to contact us through mcdonalds.com. Thank you.

Title: Mr.
First Name: ERiC
Last Name: AiXeLsyD
Mailing Address: ____ _______ _____ ____ __
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA
Zip: _____-____
Day Phone: 412-555-1212
Evening Phone: 412-555-1212
Contact Time: None.  Email please.
Your E-mail Address: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Comment: [What you just read above…]

Their “real” reply:

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
Date: Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 5:08 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Hello ERiC:

Thank you for contacting McDonald’s recently with your idea for a product or service that you believe would be of interest to us. We appreciate your interest in McDonald’s, but it is our company’s policy not to consider unsolicited ideas from outside the McDonald’s system. We have retained an electronic copy of your submission solely for our records.

It’s not that great ideas cannot come from people outside of McDonald’s. Each year, however, McDonald’s receives thousands of unsolicited ideas and proposals for products and services from individuals as well as companies. Because of the volume of unsolicited ideas and the difficulty of sorting out what is truly a “new” idea as opposed to a concept that has already been considered or developed by McDonald’s, we must adhere to a strict policy of not reviewing any unsolicited ideas that come from outside the McDonald’s family of employees, franchisees and approved suppliers. We realize that we may be missing out on a few good ideas, but we have had to adopt this policy for legal and business reasons.

As a result, we must decline your invitation to review your submission and hope you understand the reasons for this decision.

Again, thank you for thinking of McDonald’s.

Jessica
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6525973

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:
[You just read it above…]

Well, apparently my idea went to the wrong department, or someone that’s absolutely no fun.  I didn’t submit an idea!  I asked about a secret menu item…  Hopefully, as we’ve learned with most other web-forms, we submit again, and we get a different person responding.  Although, this looks curiously like a form letter.  Perhaps I should try again in a different category?  Should I ask for the email address of a real live person?  Perhaps I need to Google some names of high-up important McPeople and try to figure out the syntax of the company email addresses.  This worked with great success for me in the past with Boston Market.  Ha ha ha.

Also, I wondered on the Beat if putting a “Mc” in front of everything could be construed as racist?  As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, perhaps I should be taken aback by the flippant use of “Mc” in front of everything?  (By McDoanld’s, and even my own shockingly casual use.) It is after all, listed in the Racial Slur Database and in Wikipedia’s list of ethnic slurs.  Perhaps this is an idea to addressed in the future.  Dave was quick to point out though, that nothing is more racist than 365Black.  Wow.  Just…  Wow.  (…or McWow?) Also… What about leap day?  Is that a day off?

Find any of this amusing?  What’s the next step?