The kids have shown a commitment to their respective basketball teams over the years, so it was time for a significant upgrade in height and backboard size.
So, following is my review that should eventually go live on Amazon. I thought you may get a kick out of it.
🏀 This is a sturdy stylish basketball hoop. It is the described height and backboard size. The delivery was courteous and professional despite the dilapidated box. 🏀
That concludes the positive portion of my review. Putting this together was an exercise in patience & mental fortitude, and I failed. I mean, is it together now? Yes. Did it take much longer than it needed to? Yes. Am I, perhaps, just an idiot that can’t follow instructions? I doubt it, because every piece of furniture or children’s toy that I have purchased from the late 1900′ s to now has involved my dumb☆$$ assembling it. My resume includes, cabinets, beds, desks, dining room sets, shelves, dressers, Batcaves, a Kid Kraft Kitchen, doll furniture, the TMNT lair, Barbie’s dream house, and even an outdoor swingset treehouse thing. I have gotten pretty good. I even build LEGO as a hobby. I can follow instructions. I am quite familiar with my local Harbor Freight and Home Depot stores. I have some power tools and I know how to use them. 🔧🔨🪛🗜🚧
This manual had to have been written by someone that has never seen a basketball, a bolt, a screwdriver, or assembled anything. The frustration therein is compounded by the fact that the packaging was obtuse and the instructions at times were actually absurd.
I’m not even sure where to begin. Most furniture to be assembled has the packaging that directly labels the parts. Maybe stickers, maybe it’s stamped, maybe there is a cardboard backing to a pack numbering or lettering each bolt.
Here, we had none of that. They seemingly came in packs to facilitate the process, labeled 1B, 2B, 3B, etc. The book calls the packs Kit 2, Kit 2, Kit 3, etc. and of course the numbers do not correspond. The first bit that was maddening is that the #60 bolt from the first pack was one of the last bolts used. I found no discernable rhyme or reason to the contents relationship in packaging to each other at some points.
The backboard parts list shows an ¹¹/₆₄ drill bit. We’ll get to that in a bit (𝘱𝘶𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥).
The list of tools required did include sand, a garden hose, a sawhorse, a “scrap wood board,” and “2 capable adults.” While we won’t pause to question if the authors at Spalding were calling me and my wife tools, I will ask you to note the distinct lack of a drill in the tool list.
The first indication that this whole project was, as the young people say “shady AF,” was the fact that to assemble the main pole, I had to measure and mark 3½” down from the top of 2 of the 3 pieces. There was no pencil, chalk, crayon or Sharpie mentioned in the tool list. OK. I have a pencil & a tape measure. The next step was the head-scratcher. The actual instructions are to jam the tubes together and 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 (on top of your scrap of wood) until they’re properly seated at the mark you hopefully measured correctly and marked, perhaps scratching with the drill bit?
I mean, this could have been made exponentially easier and fail-proof by maybe marking it at the factory, or having the joints fitted and maybe lock together with a pin or bolt? I mean, the Christmas tree people have had that figured out since what, the 50’s or 60’s?
Throughout the process, I was repeatedly measuring the bolts… because while it said things like #18 or #12, nothing on the bolt or packaging indicated that number.
After most of the assembly, it was time to attach to board pads/edge guards to the backboard. There were no holes in the frame around the backboard for this. Odd. They did, however, include self-tapping screws and suggested that you try to use a ⁵/₁₆” socket wrench to break though the metal frame. 🤣 Here is the first time a portable drill is mentioned. It doesn’t even note using the inexplicably included drill bit, that conveniently is the exact right size. I know I didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes there, but I did manage to figure that one out.
The rest of the assemble went as expected. I did get a sawhorse/work bench thing out of the deal from Harbor Freight. I mean, it was in the list, so I 𝘩𝘢𝘥 to get it, right?
I will say I made a layman’s error in building that I had to rectify after the initial assembly. When I attached to lower elevator tubes to the backboard brackets, I neglected to be sure that I had went through the screw-jack, and only went through the sleeve. You can imagine my f̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶l̶a̶u̶g̶h̶t̶e̶r̶ absolute fury at discovering my error. 🤬 This, my friends, was all on me.
At the end, I had to literally use a tape measure to check hoop height. It does indeed go above 10′. I suspect that you expect me to measure the heights of the hoop to match of all the provided poorly-screened stickers and place them neatly on the screw-jack to be displayed by the conveniently placed hole in the sleeve at each of the 6 suggested settings? For what I paid for the hoop… those increments should have been stamped into or printed on the screw jack already. This takes me back to the argument that there is probably a better way to build the main tube for more efficient assembly.
If you, dear potential purchaser, have stayed with me this long, then you are brave, resilient, persistent and you may just be a masochist. If you have read all of this and still add it to your cart without selecting professional assembly, then may whatever higher power you ascribe to have mercy on your soul.
I may even email the address in the manual, and try to reach out directly to Spalding somehow either via email or social media.
I don’t want or need anything, other than for them to re-think their entire process.
Bert – a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD – rocking the Dewey Decibel FlipOut Lit Cigarette model.
OK. So, you probably know I like weird guitars. Someday I will have profiles up of all of them on another blog. You may have even read about my Dewey Decibel FlipOut before, or have seen the FlipOut before (or even the knock-off Flipped brand). While the Galveston BB Stone certainly started my weird guitar obsession, the FlipOut solidified it. Sadly, I came to it after AiXeLsyD had been done for a while, and I think even after Gasoline Dion. It some incredibly small and ancient circles I will always be known as ERiC AiXeLsyD. I did, get to gig out with the FlipOut, quite a lot, with Ernie and the Berts.
A while back, I had the opportunity to reach out to Jimmie Bruhn about the Indy Custom Flycaster, and way way back I did some research on the BB Stone. (I have to try to recover all the stuff that used to live on SquareGuitar.com, all those links are now dead.)
I thought it would be fun to try and track down Dewey Decibel(a.k.a. Joe Jerardi – or is it Joe Geradri? Stage names are fun.), and get some insight on the inception and production of one of my favorite axes!
After some emails exchanged, here’s the story from the man himself!
Hi Eric,
I’m awfully sorry there was a delay on getting back to you. I honestly have had my hands full this year, and it slipped my mind. Just for your patience, I can offer the most information I’ve shared about my FlipOut days to this point. And thanks for asking.
I was performing solo in NY back in the 90s, playing CBGBs and many of the NY clubs. My stage name was Dewey Decibel, and I always performed hooked up to an IV pole. Just a thing I did – never mentioned it on stage. Played electric guitar, with synth sequencers for backing, plus voice.
One day I thought of this backward guitar – Its just wood I thought – so it would play the same, just super unsettling, and deeply rock and roll to my mind. I found one shop out of all the NY guitar techs who would follow my instruction. It was Rick from Carmine Street Guitars. I love him because he didn’t even blink, just said “sure, I can do that”. I went on to form a band called… Dewey Decibel, and kept doing shows, and finished up my third album “Unnecessarily Beautiful” with those guys, great players Jon Howard, and Martin Miller. We did good work. I always played the original FlipOut, which started its life as a Fernandes brand Strat. I always had the IV drip by my side.
Back cover for the Dewey Decibel album Unnecessarily Beautiful | Original FlipOut prototype of a modified Fernandes Strat copy pictured!
We did no real promotion for the album, for any of my albums, so they reside in resplendent obscurity, rarely to surface.
Here is what exists online, though there are 3+ albums and an EP somewhere:
Dewey Decibel | Unnecessarily Beautiful | Pictured: Martin Miller (Drums) ● Dewey Decibel (Voice/Guitar/Keys) ● John Howard (Bass)
At shows, my guitar got so much crazy attention I conceived of the nutty plan to use a release of these guitars to bring attention to my band. In 2003 I went to the NAMM show on the recommendation of a friend, to look for a manufacturer. There I approached many confused factory reps from Asia, and ended up having luck with a Korean group who were ready to please. I ordered some prototypes during that year, and tweaked things. Then at 2004 NAMM I introduced them to the unsuspecting earthlings, took orders, and started shipping out of San Francisco once the container ship arrived. That first NAMM show was funny funny stupid funny.
Art from the Dewey Decibel website.
The stupid part was that Fender lawyers sent me a letter on the opening day of my NAMM launch that I was in breach of their trademarks. This is a much longer story but I ended up licensing with Fender later, which was great for name dropping and demonstrating to folks that it was a quality guitar.
I was living in a warehouse with boxes of these guitars and my drum set. It was a time of odd existence, taking orders, shipping, doing R&D, and lining up reviews with the big guitar magazines. The FlipOut got strong thumbs up reviews in Guitar Player as well as Guitar One. I did care about the feel of the neck and the pickups. It’s self evident I think when you handle one.
I was moving forward on the BottomOut bass, having received a few prototypes which worked nicely. Even took orders. The problem was that the whole business had me working in too many directions, and exhausted. I’d gone to Europe, and did a bunch of sales, there and in Australia too. I was overworking, and getting wiped out. This was all on my own, and I’d been living with some fantasy that these cool guitars would elevate the music, and demonstrate my sovereign rock and roll whimsy. But alas, the FlipOut project ended at around 500 guitars because I was exhausted, the R&D was too slow, and I couldn’t parlay the thing into working for another manufacturer. I was too much of a lone wolf for them. So I went back to graphic design and animation. I’m an animator today living in incredible San Antonio. I also continue writing and recording a new album, to be released secretly into thrift store bins.
The guitar colors were just my favorites at the time, the names were inspired by memories. Barry Leventhal was I think a kid I played in little league with. Austin really had cabs colored like the guitar.
I’ve seen the FlipOut rip-offs coming from Europe/China, and they look ridiculous, all backward and stuff. Just joking – I guess it was inevitable someone would cash in.
Hey thanks for your interest. Hoping it fills in some detail.
Until now, this is pretty much all that was out there on the FlipOut!
FlipOut models & colors
How cool is that? The entire story from the man himself! I urge you to go check out the music of Dewey Decibel.
The only mods I had done to mine is the inimitable Aaron Hutzel drop in some GFS Lil Killer rails. This was not a kock at all to the original sound, but the humbuckers are more my thing.
So, recently turning 40 has me reflecting on life in general (which is pretty damn great) & on my accomplishments as a “musician” even though I’m not actively gigging right now.
I’m pretty self-deprecating of my musical talents, but I am proud of the major part of the aural art that I helped create. I compiled and uploaded a few of my favorites after using Audacity to clip out some silence and mp3Gain to try to get all the volume levels somewhat similar.
If you’ll indulge me I’d like to give my thoughts & memories on each of these songs that I was proud to be a part of with AiXeLsyD, Gasoline Dion, & Ernie and the Berts. If I have any of the stories, names, etc. wrong, please correct me in the comments. Being that these are punk rock(ish) bands, you may find the content explicit and/or objectionable. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
🎸
Gasoline Dion – “Shameless Plug”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Tommy came up with this cool shuffling progression and I played a super easy solo over it. I believe we kept the first take of the solo even though at the time I thought I could do better. It’s not perfect, but it’s fun. It was cool to open shows with this then rip into something completely different. It was called “Tommy’s Jam” until an inside joke on a local message board inspired the new name.
AiXeLsyD – “Wait”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Probably the first song that I wrote that I liked, and probably the first original that we worked on in the band. We dug on this & recorded it a million times. It morphed a bit, but was basically the same simple jam. Ben doubling the vocals an octave lower and the guitar part at the end really fills it out.
Gasoline Dion – “Pickle Farm”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Tommy had recorded this song solo, and it contributed to the itch that I needed to scratch when we formed Gasoline Dion. I really liked the melody. I think he stole the lyrics from Space Ghost or Brak. This song to me is about not being a square peg that’s forced into a round hole. I liked singing background vocals & playing guitar.
Ernie and the Berts – “Toybox”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Erin wanted to start a band to play rocked-out Willy Wonka covers. That never happened. This did. It was the first original that stuck, and an early recording became the soundtrack to a friend’s video project. Dave learned to play drums in/for this band. This is a nice simple driving groove and is the perfect vehicle for the introduction of Erin’s gnarly gravelly voice.
AiXeLsyD – “Hopeless & Heartless”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | I wrote this on the outside of seeing someone with a broken heart. I thought it was pretty catchy. The “whoa-oh’s” are overkill but oddly necessary in my humble opinion. I think An-Die, Ben, & I are all singing on multiple tracks here.
Gasoline Dion – “Cold”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | This riff was a leftover AiXeLsyD riff that almost became part of two songs but never really went anywhere. Mike had some leftover Who’s.Keeping.Score? lyrics that Dave & I re-arranged. Dave & I work really well on arranging musical parts & lyrics. I really really dig Tommy & I singing together on this one.
Ernie and the Berts – “Fred Rogers”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Erin supposed that a local hero may not really be a hero on this one. Maybe he read that weird urban legend. I really like the guitar part here, although it’s missing some kind of effect in my head. Wah? Phaser? Not sure. Erin let me just go goofy with background vocals here. I felt like Danzig or that Not-Danzig guy in the Cult. I love how this song builds into chaos.
AiXeLsyD – “Stand Up”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | This is where it all pulled together, and it was the last proper thing we recorded. Ha ha. An-Die wrote the riff & lyrics, I arranged them. Ben came up with the guitar noodling& octaves riff. I think I came up with the stupid guitar part for the verse. I really dig my guitar solo here,even though I went too long. (Oddly, this sounds a lot like “Anything, Anything (I’ll Give You)” by Dramarama as played by Buckcherry.)
Gasoline Dion – “Political Songs (With Deep Meaning)”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | I was listening to a lot of the Unseen, I think. I don’t really write political stuff that often. This was taking the piss out of that genre. Dave sounded better on it with vocals. I scream “feet” in the background and give the creepy laugh at the end. We lost the original lyrics, so Dave used what he remembered and made the rest up on the fly. I don’t really think any one ever tried to intemperate a deeper meaning. If they did, they didn’t tell us.
Ernie and the Berts – “Don’t Fuck With Ernie”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | It was hard to tell if Erin was serious or joking a lot of the time. He had a deadpan delivery, and it was hilarious. To deliver this ridiculousness so seriously is hilarious to me. I think I sort of came up with this riff over top of his bass line.
AiXeLsyD – “Dave Ugly’s Girlfriend”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | It’s “Dave Ugly’s Girlfriend”, not “Dave’s Ugly Girlfriend.” People always seemed to get that wrong. Dave Ugly played bass & sang for one of our favorite local bands, Useless Torment. I don’t tell the story as well as An-Die, but Dave was apparently saying he loved him, and An-Die was playing the “even if…” game, and arrived at this. I remember being “mad” when Sum 41 came out as a punk band rapping. I think Boner played guitar on this one and Ben played Drums?
Gasoline Dion – “Bitch Pants Opera”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | I don’t know if we could do this one today. People seem so easily offended. It’s just a joke. We don’t really care if you wear girl pants. We’re not insinuating or implying anything. We look ridiculous too. Another Dave vocals song, I am screaming the high parts. All of us are in the beginning. I think the breakdown was inspired by hardcore /screamo kids in skinny jeans doing the windmill and Peelander-Z’s “S.T.E.A.K.”
Ernie and the Berts – “Ikea”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Dave suggested I try a little more dynamics with space and clean. Dave is usually right. You can do a lot with the same 3 chords over & over. This was a slice of Erin’s life, full of his observations. We almost got permission to go in & shoot a video there. Somebody must have really listened to the lyrics. He had “nicer” ones prepared just in case we needed to sell out.
AiXeLsyD – “Love, Hopes, Dreams, & Smiles”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] |I think An-Die hated this one. I liked the noodling& the melody. The lyrics are super dumb & trite. The song was made infinitely cooler when Ben put in that volume swell in the final mix. That was never there, then we started doing it live after he did that to the recording. This could probably be punched-up a little bit more.
Gasoline Dion – “Two of a Kind”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Tommy sings like an angel. I have no idea what in the hell he’s talking about here. I think Dave & Mike made this honky-tonk-ish. I played a little solo under Tommy’s vocals at the end because nobody ever told me not to. The end sounds like the Misfits’ “NY Ranger.”
Ernie and the Berts – “I Don’t Wanna”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Erin stole this one from a band called Suck-Your-Brains-A-Go-Go. I don’t know if they ever recorded it. I should ask the man who wrote it some time. We made it ours. I think Bengt punched-up some of the guitar & added a bit of harmonies during the recording process.
Gasoline Dion – “Shameless Plug (Reprise)”
[SoundCloud/YouTube] | Same thing as the first track, second solo take by me with a wah pedal this time. Dave is also on guitar making crazy noises and soloing in between all of my notes. Ha ha. If you don’t “get” the speaking part, watch the Josie and the Pussycats movie some time.
I’d love to know what you think, or to read/see/hear your own memories about these bands or in any bands or projects in which you have participated. Did I miss a song or two that you may have remembered or liked? Comments (or likes or whatever is deemed social-media-appropriate) on the songs on SoundCloud or YouTube would be awesome and greatly appreciated, too.
I think you should be able to download a zip of the collection on Google Drive or SendSpace if you’re so inclined. If you can’t get it there, let me know and I can email it to you.
In other news, did you know that they both cater? I wish someone would have told me.
I actually stopped at the local Panera the other night because the wife was sick and wanted some of that cheese-broccoli soup. I went in to get some to go, and got myself a half of a turkey sandwich and a cup of the chicken noodle.
The employee (a young girl, of course) at the counter was quite friendly, asked if I wanted lettuce tomato or onion on the sandwich, and even asked if I wanted mustard and/or mayo. Clearly, someone went over new procedures. Sadly, I asked for lettuce & tomato… and got neither, but I did get mustard and mayo. I applaud the effort, and shame on me for not checking before I left the store.
I have to say, after my initial complaint, they have totally stepped it up service-wise. I still call shenanigans on the new soup. They ought to let sales do the talking… OFFER BOTH. It’s certainly a popular item. Let the consumers decide if they want a great-tasting soup… or the crappy flat-noodled healthy soup. Clearly, as a leader in the Fast Casual industry, you can afford to test the proverbial waters? I think more changes have been made, but it’s still not the old soup. Shenanigans.
Also, I counted 3 signs within a span of about 8 feet on the counter where you wait for your order advertising the catering… and the pop machine still does it too. I think the receipt may have even said something about it.
I spend far too much time contemplating fast food & fast casual dining. If only I could save time buy purchasing already prepared meals. Does anyone out there do that?
Look out Panera Bread, Boston Market has your number! I was out of town this weekend, and didn’t check email much. I didn’t have the time & energy to properly respond to this until we came home. I find this to be incredibly awesome. Dennis “The New Guy” Wakabayashi from Boston Market is ready to put his company’s catering services to the test. The line between my lunacy in email writing and reality is ever increasingly blurred. Perhaps my preposterous idea will turn into a real happening.
Insanity.
Sparked by some snarky postings of various blog post url’s on Facebook…
Hi, I’m the new guy here at Boston Market, just brought on, to engage with awesomeness like yours. I loved your article and definitely interested in the catering battle royal at your place…count me in! Not only that my friend your band has some T-shirt coming your way!
Send me a list of sizes, and a couple videos of your music, so we can be sure you’re rocking the family friendly vibe that we know and love….
If you want to reach out to me directly DO IT. dwakabayashi@bost.com (Senior Manager of Digital Marketing)
How’d you find my blog?: You posted on our Facebook page!
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> Date: Mon, Nov 14, 2011 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback To: engage@bostonmarket.com Cc: dwakabayashi@bost.com
Shalom Dennis!
I see that more companies are hiring people in your position to figure out the best ways to use social media to their advantage. What a great thing! I have had some excellent interaction with Nate Riggs of Bob Evans. I have even had great dealings in the past with Lori Smelt at Boston Market.
I have a goofy email sending online persona, now named Waldo Lunar… that keeps clashing with the real me. It’s ever more impossible to separate the real from the absurd. Ha ha.
I have asked for the T-shirt sized of the other dudes in my band, but I’m not sure if their ideals would support such blatant corporate sponsorship. We are, after all, a punk rock band at heart. Then again, what’s more punk rock than doing the exact opposite of what a good punk rock band should do? Also, I’m just a Bert, so I must clear things with Ernie.
I’m not sure that the band, Ernie and the Berts, is family friendly. Despite this perhaps somewhat misleading name… we’re prone to spew forth occasional potty humor, sexual innuendo, and movie-Tourette’s-like bouts of profanity. Also, don’t ever eat Ernie’s soup. This has not stopped the interest of other yet-to-be-named possible corporate sponsors.
For your review and entertainment, I do however submit the following videos:
I trust that you’ll laugh, cry, and share with friends.
I’m glad that they have someone with some wit and intelligence monitoring Facebook for Boston Market. In 2011 (soon to be 2012), I feel that it’s extremely important for a company to use social media for important feedback regarding the perception of their brand & service.
I’m quite glad that you’re interested in the catering battle-royale! Unfortunately, I haven’t had any takers from the Panera Bread camp. In fact, I believe their policy is to ignore my emails from now on, or that I have been perhaps stifled by their in-house spam filtering system. I haven’t received so much as a “thanks for your interest” or even a “please stop emailing us.” They haven’t used Facebook to the advantage that you now have. Although, they did reply (uninterestingly) to a tweet. Do you perhaps have any professional colleagues at Panera that you could cajole into action? Since Batman Movie night has come & gone, my wife & I have discussed the possibility of a Back to the Future or Indiana Jones movie night.
Perhaps, with the lack of interest from Panera Bread, we could involve Bob Evans? Surely, your meal offerings are more in line with them, rather than some paltry soup and sandwiches? How would you feel about your chances against them? Maybe Panera needs to lie low in the media, in light of recent events that happened nearby.
You can send a goodwill token of appreciation for my new adventurous advertising ideas, if you end up using any of them. A commission check would be nice also. I excel in the ridiculous, but am unsure how to make a profit from such ridiculousness. Following the model put forth by advertising within the walls of where one is currently doing business, I figured it would be OK to ask in this email.
How do you feel personally about unabashed advertising for catering service while you’re currently in the place, already spending your hard-earned dollar? Let’s face it, at the brisket meal hovering around $10, I can go to a local diner for less and not be slapped with advertising while I sup. I go to Boston Market for the tasty meals, (perceived) speed of service, and glittering hope of consistency.
Imagine picking up a bottle of Coca~Cola at a convenience store, and on the label, it tells you to go buy a 24 pack of cans, 2-liter, and/or six-pack of bottles. At the moment, you’re interested in quenching your thirst… not stocking your ‘fridge or obtaining a caffeine high. Not a perfectly parallel predicament, but food for thought nonetheless.
I would like to thank you for your interest and the response to my insanity. I can’t wait to see how this plays out. Can you think of any other catering battle participants? Perhaps we can put together a rock n’ roll show rather than just a small movie night…
I’ll let you process all of this, and get back to me on your own time with your thoughts.
There’s all kinds of stuff going on in the Ernie and the Berts world You ought to check it out…
A while ago we played at a crazy show in Sheffield Lanes, above the Fallout Shelter. It was all ages, it was madness, it was beautiful. This is some of what you missed: “Toybox”: A lot of screwing around, then “Ikea”: Video by Ernie’s mom, Terrie Cobb. This is just a sample of the awesomeness that you can get full-on by supporting our Kicks … Read More
I wanted to write to let you know that my wife & I had an excellent experience with store manager Matt Walker at DFW in Pittsburgh earlier this evening. We left a Value City nearby wholly disgusted with their salesperson, and our experience at DFW was such a great relief.
…but we want to encourage feedback and interaction from the community on Facebook.
Example : The recent story from Eric in Pittsburgh about his shopping experience at Value City Furniture vs. DFW Furniture in Pittsburgh.
We realize that advertising is always SUSPECT…But customer testimonials are PRICELESS… and credible.
How awesome is that?! I’m famous! Ha ha.
In all fairness, Value City did indeed reach out in the comments of the original blog, and as requested… I did follow-up:
From: Eric Carroll To: jeremy.sipes@vcf.com Sent: Mon, April 25, 2011 Subject: Blog about couch buyin experience…
Hello Mr. Snipes,
I’m responding to your comment on my blog. I’m not sure what else you would need detail-wise, or any way of resolving anything. Did you first read about my blog through your submission form? I don’t really have any other details then what I expressed in my blog. What else would you be looking for, exactly?
Thanks,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI
And, this was the response:
From: “Jeremy.Sipes@americansignature.com” To: Eric Carroll Sent: Tue, April 26, 2011 Subject: Re: Blog about couch buying experience…
I just wanted to make sure to reach out to you regarding your experience in the store. I apologize for your experience with one of our sales people. I will be in contact with store management in order to address your concerns. I am glad that you found furniture that you are happy with, it is just unfortunate that you were not able to so with our store.
If you need anything going forward, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Thanks for your time
Jeremy Sipes
American Signature Inc.
Customer Service Coordinator
1-800-743-4577
1-614-449-4351
Again, there’s not too much to do at this point, is there? Although, they did have some cool pop-bottle looking bar-stools there…
I like they stripey pillows on the love seat, they came with the set. I don’t think Bethany likes ’em though. We bought the pillows that are on the couch from Kohl’s, but they’re a pretty good match.
So, the wife & I been saving to buy a new couch & loveseat for quite a while. We’ve been very casually looking at furniture stores since last October. Retail sales people in general really bother me. I tense up when they approach. It’s impossible to walk into any furniture store & browse without a sales person being on you like white on rice. I have an issue with the titles too. They never call themselves sales people. It’s always “associate” or “specialist” or “floor manager” or “Archduke of Ass-cushions”. You’re there to sell furniture and make commission, not to help me with the interior design in my house or really even to sell me what fits my needs. You want to up-sell as much as possible. I know that, you know that… why can’t you admit that you know I know it? Pardon me, I’m getting ahead of myself.
At Levin’s they weren’t interested in showing us anything other than the most expensive couches. Once they got an idea of our budget, they weren’t interested. Roomful Express was a veritable pressure cooker with a “buy it now because we’re going out of business” style sales pitch. So, no warranty then? Ikea is great, and we love the place for other reasons, but none of the couches that we saw on our last few trips fit our style and budget. Big Lots had some affordable furniture, but the couch we had considered there only came in one awful orange-tinted brown… and it just brought poop to mind.
That brings us to the events of tonight. We had passed by the DFW on Rte. 51 a week or so ago, but we decided to check it out. We had looked at a few of their pieces online and were happy with the price & selection. We decided to stop at Value City first since it was on the way & we were out looking. The plan was to look around at Value City, check DFW in person, and if we needed to hit Value City on the way home, we could do that. We could not have had two more divergent experiences. I will mention sales persons’ names below, as it’s my intent to contact both Value City & DFW with the details of our experiences. They both need to know what’s going on in their stores, good & bad.
As we were walking up to the door at Value City, we could see a young sales guy looking out the front window directly at us as if we couldn’t also see him. He ran out of our view to his left, not unlike a puppy running to get some treats. I said to Bethany “Wow, this guy’s going to be all over us before we’re even in the door.” I was wrong. Another sales guy was on us as soon as we were in the door. He appeared like Batman disappears in the movies & cartoons. I really have no idea where this guy came from. He was just there. I say “sales guy”, but he called himself a “floor designer”, commented on Bethany’s Penguins hoodie, and introduced himself as Bill. Bill asked what we were looking for, we said couches, and he gave is a well-rehearsed (read: tired) spiel about how we were “here for two things; eye appeal and butt appeal”. Things like “it’s got to be comfortable”, “sit on it, jump on it, relax”, “microfiber is just a fancy way of saying 100% polyester” were said. Also, there were mentions of how their parent company owns Big Lots and DHL and a few other companies… which have absolutely no bearing on me buying furniture. I’m not impressed with image. Cheesy, but at that, he let us off to browse on our own. We made our way up the first aisle, down the second, and were on the way up the third when Bill caught us again. Along the way, we saw two couch/loveseat sets that we really considered purchasing. We had our mind set on one because it was comfortable and within our budget and we were frankly just in the mood to finally purchase a couch this evening. When Bill caught up to us the second time, we may have confused him, as we talked in passing to another family who had just walked in the front door. Bill proceeded to introduce himself to us and give the same “eye appeal and rear appeal” into the “microfiber=polyester” speech that we had just heard less than ten minutes earlier. As we were just into the third aisle, we were beginning to realize that most of this furniture was above our budget… so the plan was to walk through quickly. Bill caught us by a rather ugly yet comfy reclining sofa that was ridiculously priced and begged us to sit in it. We obliged. Then Bill proceeded to tell is that we may recognize him from TV as he’s the “furniture doctor” (or something to that effect) on KDKA. He also said that he sold this same couch to Tyler Kennedy & Max Talbot, then named some Steelers for good measure. This is where my mind was made up that we wouldn’t be buying anything from Value City. I don’t care who else has the same couch as me, and these local sports heroes will never be sitting on my couch… so it really is irrelevant. Also… I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but just looking at us, he should have known that the couch in question was way out of our price range. I would like to make it clear that the only reason that we didn’t buy a couch from Value City this evening is Bill Crewson. I found him to be pretentious, pompous, and obnoxious. We escaped Bill’s sales pitch of doom, and had a discussion around the first corner. My wife agreed with my assessment and decided that worst-case scenario, we would come back & deal with a different sales associate because Bill was not getting a dime of commission from us. We promptly headed to the door. Bill again appeared out of nowhere and handed us a business card as we were on the way out the door, title being “Home Furnishing Consultant”. Get your title/position straight, Bill. Consistency is a good thing. As soon as we got home, I fired up Firefox and Googled the bejesus out of Bill’s name on KDKA’s website. I can find no mention of Bill by name or by “furniture doctor” or “couch doctor” or whatever he called himself (or anywhere else on the web). If someone knows Tyler Kennedy or Max Talbot, tell them to call me to talk about their couches.
Next, we went to DFW. The experience there was as refreshing as Value City was exasperating. We weren’t immediately pounced upon when we walked in the door. After we had made our was across the front of the store, we were casually approached by a Mr. Matt Walker. He asked us what we wanted, and what our needs were. He explained what they had, how the discounts worked if you bought outright vs. a payment plan, and set us free to roam around the store. Still reeling from Value City, I thanked Matt for being the first sales person in a furniture store that wasn’t so far up my rear-end that they were looking out my mouth. He laughed like he hears that a lot. Bethany & I were able to take our time, look at the prices, sit on the couches… and we again found two sets that we liked and that fit our budget. The one didn’t come in any different colors, so we happily picked the other, and we had to seek out Matt to let him know that we were ready to make a purchase. To not be hovered over, or approached a second time with some sort of practiced sales pitch, or to not be only shown the most expensive pieces on the floor was a huge deal. Happily, the set we wanted was well under budget at the advertised price. Not only that, but we got a discount for paying for it all at once. There was also another deeper discount because the floor model was the only one left. We looked it over, were satisfied with the condition and quality and went with it. We did purchase a reasonably priced protection plan for the cushions and there was a standard delivery fee… and we were still under the advertised price for the set. I urge anyone in the Pittsburgh area looking for cheap quality furniture to seek out Matt Walker (Store Manager) at DFW on Rte. 51. DFW should send all of their managers and sales persons to Matt to be trained. They would be wise to pick up his tactics and demeanor. The delivery is set for tomorrow, I’ll have to pop up a photo and let you know how that goes!
World (and Lunar) Domination 