Oh man. Does anyone remember my W(aL)D email shenanigans from a decade ago?
One such adventure was writing to Totino’s to ask if they had recommendations for microwaving more than 6 at a time. They wrote back. I asked them if I needed to arrange the rolls like wagon wheel spokes or like wagons on the Oregon Trail circling for protection. I even got some 35¢ coupons that I considered as a research grant.
Have you noticed pizza roll cooking instructions lately?
I won!Information for the people!Research to benefit the masses!
Really though. This brings up a new series of questions.
When did just arranging in “a single layer become” acceptable? Who does Totino’s think they are discarding the time-honored tradition of microwaving things in a circle? Did we learn nothing from our ancestors at Stonehenge? Did they consult the Softstix team over at SuperPretzel, or just roll forward (pun still intended) with wild abandon? How do you summon the flavor spirits without the ceremonial circle?
Has the Fibonacci spiral ever been tested as a cooking pattern? Can Ci3 make me a plate specifically for microwaving pizza rolls and little cheese-filled pretzels with the Fibonacci spiral on it?
Well. They’re not all Halloween themed. But they’re all mazes. I messed around with some of them in PicsArt and Instagram.
Try a few. Get the solutions on your social media of choice. Tag me in it. I’m always @AiXeLsyD13 unless someone is being a butthole and takes it first for some reason even though it’s my handle across all platforms.
I don’t have a theme. I don’t generally draw cartoons or pictures with my mazes. Can just plain mazes be a thing, like adult coloring books? There are a ton of neat maze creators that I follow on Instagram or Twitter or wherever. Mine are probably the most boring. Someone used to solve them by blacking in everything from the dead ends back to an open end, leaving only the “good” path open. That seems like it would be relaxing.
Another maze. Is this one boring? Send me a solution.
This is mainly a re-post/revision of a Facebook status. I’m still in awe, even a few days later.
You probably read about it, saw it, or heard it in WTAE, WPXI, or KDKA. You may have even seen it somewhere else. This woman (in a feat worthy of “Florida Man”) walked into a Walmart to relieve herself. The problem with that is that she did it not only in the produce section, but on some produce. Potatoes. I personally like my potatoes mashed, not micturated.
I have so many thoughts about this.
The BEST part is that Walmart✻ had to release a statement assuring that they threw out the produce and disinfected the area. I mean, silly of me to assume that would be the case.
I have seen some Walmart bathrooms, and I may have supported this choice in this instance. They also close for “cleaning” often.
She doesn’t remember doing it? How did she find out? Did she see herself on Facebook? Did someone call and tell her? There needs to be a TV show that reenacts such shenanigans. (Sounds like she saw herself on TV. Imagine going to get a haircut, then calling the lawyer, then going to the police. Or maybe the lawyer prompted the haircut?)
How do you overcome “stagefright?” I like to pee alone, not in public.
I want a T-shirt with her picture in the middle of the Walmart star logo with the caption “I put the P in potato!”
Grace Under (Bladder) Pressure
I hope she didn’t drive to or from the Walmart.
I have been drunk, but never blackout drunk. I’m in awe. I wonder if in 2019 she can turn this into becoming a social media celebrity?
I hope she gets whatever ind of help she needs, and I hope no one bought the pee-tatoes unknowingly. Although, they may grow in poop… So, there is that. I would definitely advise her to have a trusted friend or handler with her at all times while drinking. I can’t imagine having to deal with the aftermath.
I remember posting a video on the now-defunct PittsburghBeat.com one time about this naked dude who while high on PCP after running from a stripper’s house ran across the divided highway on Banksville Road and ended up being tasered (again, while naked) by police and taken to the extremely cold ground in the snow. Months or years later, the guy sent an email asking for it to be taken down so he could move on with life. It mentioned but didn’t really threaten legal action. After all, it was a news story I dunno how you could “scrub” it. But, I can see the whole thing not boding well if a prospective employer were to Google you before hiring.
The only other song I remember about pee is an AiXeLsyD one, and I can’t shamelessly self promote something that is probably less embarrassing that peeing on potatoes in Walmart, can they?
Here are potatoes from my garden this year, no one has peed on them:
In parting, I call for your comments. Please share your favorite potato recipes (like this or this), your favorite drinking stories, or your favorite pee/Grace Brown/Walmart/Potatoes jokes.
I have been posting them to Instagram, just not here much. I have a few I have drawn but haven’t shared. I may share them here. Is anyone interested in them? Should I save them for a publisher or Etsy shop? I need to get with CI3 and make some mugs!
You know you wanna print one and try it, or use an app on your phone/tablet to draw right on it. Then you wanna tag me in social media with the solution or leave it here in the comments.
So, every once in a while, these gadgets pop up on Facebook guitar discussion groups. You get a lot of people poking fun, you get some support. I had to break it all down. It’s easy to hate, but some of these may ignite a spark and only be training wheels. Some of these may enable people with physical or mental disabilities to play some music. Who should be denied artistic creativity?
Guitar Chord Assistance / Learning Systems
Check out all the stats I could find & compile on the Chord Buddy, E-Z Chord, Ez-Fret, & WESOLO Guitar Learning System.
Check out all the details, embedded below:
Or, check out the full sheet here. I have websites, prices, lists of chords, and even videos where I could find them.
There is a wide variety of options. If you can fill in any of the blanks, that would be killer. If you know of any other similar systems, I could certainly add them.
I know I have been bad at blogging. Life got crazy busy as it does. I do hope to blog more, not sure if many people read it… but it is fun. Hopefully if you feel the need, you can keep up with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
