Mushroom Meatloaf Mayhem


If you want beef, then bring the ruckus! My mushroom meatloaf ain’t nothin’ to โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ with.

With the likely chance of repeating myself, I like to make meatloaf different all the time. I make “normal” ones often, and made a crazy breakfast one one time. I think I have even crushed up CheeseโŸIts or Doritos in lieu of breadcrumbs. I blame Chopped. I forgot that I made one VERY similar to this not too long ago. The blog post was kind of sus as I was using LLM as I cooked to keep track of what I was did in hopes of having a coherent recipe for a post, & had 4 of them pop out interpretations of my recipe. I put the examples there. That may be overwhelming. I’ll do all the writing for this one. I sort of half-plan and wing it with meatloaf. This time I wanted to do some mashed potatoes & acorn squash with it too… so I did.

Two freshly baked meatloaves topped with cream of mushroom soup and crispy fried onions, resting on a sheet pan.
Mushroom Meatloaf Mayhem

This was an absurd amount of meatloaf, but I like leftovers and I’ll probably freeze some for later too. This is what I bought or had on hand this time. Most of my ingredients nowadays come from Aldi, & we do get some stuff at Giant Total Eagle.

I used a lot of processed ingredients, so I didn’t add any salt… other than what was in the season salt. I forget if we have McCormick or the Aldi brand. Of course you could use fresh mushrooms like I did last time… but this is what struck me to use this time. Also, you can use any kind of cheese or meat you want. If you don’t like, mushrooms, or onions… I will say “Bean Soup” to you and you can find other meatloaf recipes where they’re not the focus. If you don’t like meat… I would be interested to hear your suggestions for substitutions here.

You know… if I put shredded green beans in this, and maybe bacon pieces… it would be green bean casserole meatloaf. ๐Ÿคฏ

Here are all the parts to the meal, and what I did to bring it all together at the same time…

The Mushroom Mayhem Meatloaf

Ingredients:

  • ยฝ stick unsalted butter (OK, maybe ยพ)
  • A splash of EVOO.
  • A splash of milk.
  • ยฝ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup French-fried onions.
  • 2 4-oz. cans of mushrooms
  • 2 10.5-oz. cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • 1ยฝ cups panko breadcrumbs
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 cup shredded Havarti cheese.
  • 2 tsp. jarred minced garlic (oh I know some of you hate it)
  • 4 lbs. ground beef (As it worked out I had exactly 4 lbs., 2.54 of 80/20 & 1.46 of 93/7.)
  • A1 (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)
  • Seasoned Salt (like Morton’s Season All, Lawry’s, or Stonemill to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • Ground Mustard (to taste)
  • Paprika (to taste)
  • 4 slices of cheap spongy white bread

Instructions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 375ยฐ.
  2. Drain & dice one can of mushrooms, dice the onion, and crunch up some of those french-fried onions to throw in there too.
  3. Hit the onion with garlic powder & onion powder.
  4. Melt some butter with a splash of EVOO on medium-high heat in a frying pan, then add the mushrooms & onions, sautรฉ on medium-low for a while until the mushrooms are translucent & almost starting to caramelize. Toss in some of that minced garlic once it gets going. Set aside.
  5. Mix 1 can of the cream of mushroom soup, the breadcrumbs, about a ยฝ cup of the French fried onions, & 2 splashes of A1 in a bowl. (Would this count as a panade?)
  6. Whisk the eggs, the splash of milk, & all your spices in the bowl. Or use a fork. Be whimsical. Improvise.
  7. In a large mixing bowl, mix the ground beef, about ยพ of the sauteed mushrooms & onions, the sort-of panade, the egg mixture, about 1 cup of shredded Havarti, & another tsp. of that minced garlic. Mix it all up. (I started with a spoon spatula, then just used my hands.)
  8. Form the meatloaf into two loaves placed on top of the slices of white bread on a sheet pan. (You had that ready right? I mean, you read this all through before you started and knew you needed to have that ready before you got your hands all raw-meatloafy, right?)
  9. Sprinkle Seasoned Salt & whatever other spices you want on the top.
  10. Cover with foil, & put in the oven for about a ยฝ hour-ish? I cooked to temperature, not time. (The USDA says ground beef should hit 160ยฐ to prevent all kinds of potentially horrible things.)
  11. Mix together another can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, some more shredded Havarti, some French-fried onions, a small can of mushrooms, about half of what you have left of the sauteed onion/mushroom mix, & some A1 & spices.
  12. Open the oven, take the foil off, insert your thermometer probes, slather on the mixture, and slide it back in. Cook for about an additional hour. Maybe? (This is where I slid it to the side & popped in my golden acorn squash.)
  13. Take it out when it hits the 160ยฐ, let it rest for a bit, and have at it!

Notes:

  • I add whatever spices at each step as I go.
  • Of course, use fresh mushrooms or different onions, or whatever speaks to you.
  • Monitor your meatloaf, if cooling alone maybe do an hour covered, then uncover a bit, put in the probes, & slather the stuff on top later. I didn’t want to keep opening the oven.
  • I rarely measure when making stuff like this… these are suggestions at best.
  • I was originally going to make one long-ass loaf, but I decided on 2 smaller ones at the last minute. I should have put them side by side, not end to end.
  • Use a loaf pan or two if that’s your thing, or a glass baking dish, or whatever works for you. I like the freeform loaf on bread, it works for me. Just maybe don’t do feetloaf or faceloaf. Really, don’t do this.
  • I start with an empty dishwasher and just rinse & pop everything in there as I use it because I have a small kitchen.
  • You could rock out to Meatloaf while you make meatloaf. Or some Wu Tang.

Roasted Golden Acorn Squash

Ingredients:

  • 2 golden acorn squashes
  • 1 stick of butter
  • Paprika (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)
  • Brown Sugar (to taste)

Recipe:

  1. Your oven is already at 375ยฐ with the meatloaf above, right?
  2. Melt the butter, spices, & sugar in a microwave safe bowl.
  3. Cut the acorn squash in half with a sharp serrated knife from the stem to the tip on both sides, then pop it open.
  4. Scoop out the seeds & strings with a spoon.
  5. Score the insides with a cross-hatch pattern or whatever floats your boat.
  6. Put the 4 halves open side up in a glass baking dish in about ยผ of water.
  7. Try to evenly distribute the sugary melted butter in the centers, being sure to drizzle some on the top too. I used a small gravy ladle.
  8. Let it ride in the oven for about an hour or so, maybe an hour and 15 minutes. You want it to just slightly start to burn on the edges.

Notes:

  • If I was not sharing the oven with meatloaf, I probably would have put these in at 400ยฐ or 425ยฐ. I am here to tell you that recipes are merely suggestions and you are free to adapt on the fly and use your own free will.
  • Lots of recipes have you start acorn squash face down, then turn them over, do the hokey pokey & all that. I am here to tell you that you absolutely do not need to do all that. Save your time & energy for other meal prep or solving one of my mazes.
  • Use whatever spices or sweetener you like. I find maple syrup overpowering sometimes, but it is popular here. I actually in hindsight should have tried hot honey on one. It seems to be all the rage. Some cayenne would really work well here.
  • Instead of a cross-hatch pattern, you could make a face, carve a list of your enemies, or this.
  • Squashes sounds weird. Can squash itself be plural?

Nashed Tapaters N’ Gravy

This may be controversial. I like boxed instant mashed potatoes. They’re quick. I can control the consistency easily. They are a blank canvas upon which you can paint your flavorful dreams. On holidays? I am doing real potatoes. Typical dinner? Flakes are fine.

Mashed Potato Ingredients:

  • Boxed Mashed Potato Flakes
  • Milk
  • Butter
  • Beef Bouillon Cube
  • Shredded Havarti
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)

Mashed Potato “Recipe”:

  1. Make the potatoes according to the directions on the box. Their suggested serving sizes are a lie. Go big, or go home.
  2. I pop a beef bouillon cube or two in the water instead of the salt. It ties it in to the meatloaf nicely and adds salt & flavor.
  3. Stir in some shredded Havarti cheese at the end. Measure with your heart. Or your appendix. Whatever organ is speaking, just listen.
  4. Add some more butter.

Gravy Ingredients:

  • 1 brown gravy packet
  • 1 mushroom gravy packet
  • 1 4-oz. can of mushrooms
  • 1 10.5-oz. can condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • Some of those sauteed mushrooms & onions from waaay back up top
  • Black Pepper (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend (to taste)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Onion Powder (to taste)

Gravy “Recipe”:

  1. Mix the gravy packets both at once according to the directions on the pack… adding in your preferred spices.
  2. Once it is fully simmered & not clunky… pop the burner back up to medium and add in the soup, the canned mushrooms, and some of your sauteed onion & mushroom mix.
  3. Keep that going until it’s all heated through, you shouldn’t need to let it boil again. Let it rest a bit.

Notes:

  • I’m an anarchist when it comes to instant potatoes. Toss in buttermilk, sour cream, cheese, garlic… whatever you want. Use chicken stock or vegetable stock instead of water. I try to tie it in to the main dish.
  • You could make a gravy from scratch… but it’ll be almost the same stuff that’s in the packets. And, I wasn’t about to collect the drippings from the meatloaf to make a gravy like you would with a roast. ๐Ÿคฃ

๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ„๐Ÿง…๐Ÿง€๐Ÿฅ”

There you have it. What would you do differently? Have anything you picked up that you might try? What are your meatloaf go-to recipes, tips, & tricks? Have any other meatloaf styles, or do you do it straight-up old school ketchup glaze? Most importantly, what are you rocking out to as you make meatloaf?

๐ŸŒญ Dunked, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs & Potato Wedges ๐Ÿฅ”


There are way too many ways to cook a hot dog. Not long ago, if you suggested I boil some… I would politely have found the quickest way out of that conversation. This time I simmered the dogs in beer, then popped them in the oven on the air-fryer setting.

I blogged about cooking hot dogs in 2010 when I asked how you do it, & later listed a bunch of different ways, and I like to slip them in on the New Year’s Pork n’ Sauerkraut. 2010? Hell, it only took me 15 years to get around to suggestion #3. Were air-fryers popular back then? I think it was just countertop grills.

Then again, sometimes I get weird ideas that won’t go away until they come to fruition. Hot dogs aren’t my favorite food, but they’re fun to make different every time. If not grilling, I like to cook them in the oven, especially when cooking dinner for the family & wanting a whole pack cooked at once. This time I did something different.

Lager-Simmered Air Fried Criss-Cross Cut Hot Dogs & Crispy Potato Wedges!

Man, I miss the legendary Dormont Dogs.

After you read this recipe, tell me what you’d do different, or what you like on your dogs! Oh yeah. sides too. I wanted to use corn starch on the potato wedges, but I was out, so flour it was. It crisped them up just enough to keep it interesting. I was heavy on the black pepper, so they had a bite.

Oh yeah, I cracked open a can of baked beans too.

I used ChatGPT to sort of bounce ideas around, and it helped me make a plan.

๐ŸŒญ๐ŸŒญ๐ŸŒญ

Wieners, โ€™Taters & Beans (Oh My!)

๐Ÿฅ” Potato Wedges

  1. Prep
    • Cut potatoes into wedges, about ยฝ” thick at the skin edge.
    • Soak in cold water 30 minutes (this pulls starch so they crisp better).
    • Drain, blot very dry. Moisture = soggy wedges.
    • Toss in a bowl with:
      • 1โ€“2 Tbsp cornstarch
      • 2 Tbsp oil (olive, canola, or peanut)
      • Seasonings: paprika, garlic/onion powder, salt, pepper, maybe cayenne or smoked paprika for punch.
  2. Cook
    • Oven air fry or convection at 425ยฐF (both will crisp better than standard bake).
    • Spread on parchment-lined sheet, not touching.
    • Cook 25โ€“30 min, flipping halfway.

๐ŸŒญ Hot Dogs

  1. Parboil
    • In a small pot, add:
      • 1 bottle/can Yuengling
      • 1 beef bouillon cube
      • ยฝ tsp onion powder
      • ยฝ tsp minced garlic
      • ยผ tsp ground mustard (optional, but yes itโ€™ll add a tangy depth)
    • Bring to a gentle simmer. Drop in hot dogs, simmer 5โ€“6 min (donโ€™t boil hard).
  2. Finish in Oven
    • After parboil, move hot dogs to a rack or foil-lined pan.
    • Toss them in the oven (same rack as potatoes if you can) for 8โ€“10 min at 425ยฐF (air fry/convection), flipping once, so skins blister and caramelize a little.

๐Ÿฅ– Buns + Cheese

  1. At the last 2โ€“3 min of hot dog oven time, open buns, lay on pan.
  2. Add cheese slices. Toast until buns are warm and cheese is gooey.

๐Ÿ”„ Timing Plan

  1. Start soaking potatoes โ†’ 30 min.
  2. Preheat oven to 425ยฐF (air fry/convection).
  3. While soaking, prep hot dog beer bath.
  4. Drain & coat potatoes. Get them in oven first (they take longest).
    • Timer: 25โ€“30 min.
  5. While wedges cook, simmer hot dogs in beer bath (~5โ€“6 min).
  6. About halfway into potato time (15 min mark), move hot dogs to oven on pan/rack.
    • Theyโ€™ll need ~8โ€“10 min to finish, which lines up with potatoes finishing.
  7. Last 2โ€“3 min: add buns + cheese.

Everything should hit the plate hot at the same time.

๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿซ˜๐Ÿฅ”

๐Ÿซ˜ Drunken Baked Beans

A simple can of beans made rich with the leftover beer broth from the hot dogs. Deep, savory, slightly maltyโ€ฆ itโ€™s like BBQ beans with a secret ingredient.

Ingredients:

  • 1 large can of baked beans
  • ยฝ cup reserved beer broth from hot dogs (strained)
  • 1 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 tsp mustard (yellow or Dijon)
  • Optional: dash of hot sauce or crumbled bacon

Method:

Taste and adjust seasoning โ€” more sugar if you like sweet, hot sauce if you like heat.

Combine beans with broth, sugar, and mustard in a saucepan.

Simmer low and slow (20โ€“30 minutes), stirring occasionally, until thickened and glossy.


๐Ÿ‘‰ Extra Tips:

  • Flip wedges and hot dogs at halfway for even browning.
  • If wedges look done before hot dogs, crack the oven door and let them hang on residual heat.
  • You can reduce a little of the beer/bouillon liquid into a quick dipping sauce (mix in mustard/ketchup) if you want to go wild.
  • I added the beer/bullion liquid to the baked beans with BBQ sauce… not what ChatGPT suggested.

๐Ÿซ˜๐Ÿซ˜๐Ÿซ˜

Needless to say, I didn’t follow that exactly… but I did toast the buns, & made the dogs to order. Mine had relish, my son’s had fresh jalapeรฑo from the garden, my wife didn’t want cheese, and my daughter didn’t want mustard.

Dunk, Drunk, n' Dried Dogs
Dunk, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs

I gotta buy some damn corn starch.

Crispy Potato Wedges
Crispy Potato Wedges

I used Yuengling, but I also would use Straub Amber, Penn Pilsner, Lion’s Head, or Smithwick’s. What would you use?

If you do make this, you gotta crank some punk rock Dad Shit. (The Amazon Playlist has more than Spotify.)

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?


This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Chipped Ham BBQ Mac & Chips?


So, if you already have the best Chipped Ham BBQ recipe of all time, you may want to try this absolute garbage pile of over-processed comfort food.

I posted it on a few spots, but it garnered the most attention in a private food group. It also got me Zucked by Meta AI bots for calling it “ฯ‰ะฝฮนั‚ั” ั‚ัฮฑั•ะฝ ฮทฮฑยขะฝฯƒั•.”

I also posted it on Threads but haven’t got the widget to embed that here, yet. Hopefully it just becomes a feature soon. Maybe BlueSky too?

Conagra Ruins Christmas.


Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect.โ€‚The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued.โ€‚I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts.โ€‚I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though.โ€‚You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03โ€ฏPM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. Weโ€™d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Changโ€™s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that youโ€™ll enjoy. PF Changโ€™s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Changโ€™s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if youโ€™re interested in trying it, weโ€™d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, itโ€™s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isnโ€™t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them.โ€‚This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12โ€ฏPM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. Iโ€™ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50โ€ฏAM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50โ€ฏAM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media.โ€‚I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.


Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Nov 19
And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page:  https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces

Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 19
Thank you for the reply.  I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever.  Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you?

Did anyone at least try the maze?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it doesโ€ฆ or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that โ€œteriyakiโ€ may refer to a style, much like โ€œbarbecueโ€ can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. โ€œKetchupโ€ came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so Iโ€™m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptorโ€ฆ but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as โ€œout of stockโ€ on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock โ€œYes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.โ€ I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USAโ€ฆ just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I wonโ€™t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

How do you make your meatloaf?


I posted the text below in two different Aldi fan boards on Facebook. I thought I’d also share here.ย  Text slightly altered, spelling mistakes corrected.ย  I feel like I make meatloaf different every time. How do you do yours?

 

๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿด๐Ÿฅฉ

 

Full disclosure, most of this was not from Aldi, but it all could have been. It all was cooked in the oven at 400ยฐ.

Meatloaf, Baked Potatoes, Brussels Sprouts, Carrots

The meatloaf went in first, for an hour and a half. The potatoes went right on the rack at the one hour and 15 minute mark, and the brussels sprouts and carrots went in at the hour mark. Maybe 55 min.? I did crank it to 425ยฐ at that point but in hindshight didn’t need to. I flipped the potatoes when the veggies went in, and at the 15 min. mark I put sauce on top of the meatloaves and stirred the sprouts n’ carrots.

The potatoes were just washed, poked, rubbed in EVOO & spices.

The sprouts & carrots where just cut up, drizzled with EVOO, salt, pepper, & bacon crumbles.

The meatloaf was 3 lbs. of 85/15, an egg, french fried onions, club crackers, spices, ketchup, A-1 (the Aldi stuff works too, I have used it in the past), a squeeze of spicy brown mustard, minced garlic, spices (I just grab stuff off the rack & go), shredded cheese, and bacon crumbles.

I broke it into two loaves, cooked in a glass dish on top of two slices of bread each. It absorbs the grease & prevents burning on the bottom.

The sauce/glaze was mostly ketchup, some A-1, a dash of mustard, plus some cheese and bacon crumbles.

Probably not a meal for the health-conscious.๐Ÿ˜

I think I do meatloaf slightly different every time. I have used marinara and Parmesan, put hard boiled eggs whole in the middle, wrapped in a bacon weave, added mushrooms & onions, used ranch or french onion soup packets, chunks of bread, added milk, & more.

I know it’s one both kids will eat unless I get too crazy.

How do you do your meatloaf?

 

Sloppy Joes (Cheap Quick Manwich Copy Cat Recipe)


I already blogged about the yinzer Sloppy Joe made with chipped ham. ย This is the more traditional one. ย It’s less barbecue-y than the BBQ pork n’ slaw sandwich I blogged about though.

Who is Joe anyway, and why was he sloppy? Maybe Wikipedia knows.

My wife’s grandma had a recipe for “Barbecued Beef” that looks and tastes a lot like Manwich (or the knock-off brands):

Sloppy Joe "Barbecue Beef" Manwich CopyCat Recipe

My daughter could eat it every day, but we just make the sauce without the peppers & onions. ย Also, we usually skip the Worcester sauce, but I have subbed in a bit of A1. ย Here’s how I would do it…

Then mix this all together & add it…

  • ยพ Cup of (Heinz) Ketchup
  • 2 Tablespoons of Butter (Butter, not “buttery spread” or oil that’s whipped to make it look like butter.)
  • 2 Tablespoons Brown Sugar
  • 2 Tablespoons Mustard (I use whatever we have… usually honey mustard.)
  • 1 Tablespoon A1 (optional)
  • Salt or season-salt to taste (optional)

This is best on the super-cheap hamburger buns… not those awesome homemade deli roll kind. ย It really does taste like Manwich & it’s all stuff you probably have on hand. ย It’s an easy crowd-pleaser, and its a double-whammy if you pair it with Mac n’ Cheese or ‘Tater Tots.

Try my meatball sub if you get a sale on ground beef. ย Why are you still reading? ย Go make this!

 

Chick-fil-A’s response: “It’s not you, it’s me.”


Chick-fil-A wrote back to me, and sadly I predicted that they’d give me the “no unsolicited ideas” speech which is equivalent to the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech.ย  Shenanigans, I tell you.

From: Chick-fil-A CARES <chickfilacares@na.ko.com>
Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 8:09 PM
Subject: Chick-fil-A Response
To: <me@my.email.address>

Dear Valued Customer:

Thank you for taking the time to contact Chick-fil-A. ย You are very important to us, and we appreciate your suggestion regarding the cup holders.ย  We hope the following information will be helpful.

Chick-fil-A is fortunate to have many loyal customers. Many of these fans take the time and effort to inquire about sharing their own ideas about ways they wish to see us improve – whether it is adding a specific new product, service or feature. We are grateful for our customersโ€™ intent, and this motivates us to work even harder to keep improving.

Unfortunately, it is our corporate policy not to accept or consider any unsolicited creative ideas. This is a difficult decision because we realize that by following this policy, Chick-fil-A may miss out on some great ideas from our customers. We would rather miss out on some of these ideas than to risk any potential future misunderstanding should Chick-fil-A develop or already have developed a product, service, or feature that may seem similar to a customer’s idea.

We hope you will understand the reasons for our policy. You can view our Unsolicited Ideas Policy at www.chick-fil-a.com/Legal (under Submissions) for more information on this issue. Beyond this policy, we gladly welcome customersโ€™ feedback about their restaurant experiences.

We appreciate your familyโ€™s loyalty, and we look forward to serving you all at Chick-fil-A for many years to come.ย  Again, thank you for your time and interest in Chick-fil-A.

Sincerely,

Cheala
Chick-fil-A CARES
Chick-fil-A…We Didn’t Invent The Chicken,
Just The Chicken Sandwich.
On the Web at www.chick-fil-a.com

P.S. ย Please retain your ticket number. ย This will help us locate your information should you need us again.

{ticketno:[8002084683]}

So, of course I wrote back…

From: <me@my.email.address>
Date: Thu, Dec 27, 2012 at 4:56 PM
Subject: Re: Chick-fil-A Response
To: Chick-fil-A CARES <chickfilacares@na.ko.com>

Hello Cheala,

Any idea how I can get my idea solicited?ย  I’m honestly not interested in monetary compensation, I just don’t want to spill my drinks.ย  Has anyone run this by Mr. Cathy?ย  He’s responded to my emails before, and I understand that he’s a shrewd business man as well as a great family man.ย  I’m sure he wouldn’t want drinks spilling on anyone… and that he’d like to pick up a free idea.

Thanks once again for your time & help!

My pleasure,

-Eric

Wonder if I’ll get a reply?ย  I just want a good cup holder.

Dear Chick-fil-A, I have an idea for you…


I plan to send this to Chick-fil-A, and we’ll see where it goes.ย  I just realized, I’ve written about Chick-fil-A several times here before.

Dear Chick-fil-A,

I have an idea for you.ย  I realize that as a giant corporation you probably don’t accept unsolicited ideas, but please don’t let that stop you from considering this idea.ย  I don’t expect monetary payment, maybe just free Chick-fil-A for life?ย  (Maybe a limit to once a week?)ย  Well, I guess I should present my idea before we start talking payment or barter.

This past Saturday I went to the Chick-fil-A in South Hills to grab some of those ridiculously deliciousย Chick-n-Minisโ„ข for breakfast.ย  I went into the store to order take-out so I could grab some mayo packets, ketchup, straws, & napkins at the little condiment station.ย  I got two drinks because I was taking breakfast home to share with the wife.ย  I opted for your highly addictive sweet tea, and the wife had a Hi-C Fruit Punch.ย  The always courteous employees offered me a drink carrier, and I accepted.ย  I thought it would make life easier on the ride home.ย  I saw wrong.

I set the drink carrier on the floor of the passenger’s side of my truck.ย  As I backed out of the space, it fell over on to the long side.ย  Your drink lids are thankfully quite tight, but sadly not entirely waterproof.ย  I leaned over and placed the carrier & drinks upright again, this time turning the drink holder 90 degrees the other way thinking I had outsmarted the laws of physics and that it would stay put.ย  I could not have been more mistaken.ย  As I turned up a hill to go out the back of the parking lot, it fell again.ย  I believe I uttered something using vocabulary that you may not approve.ย  At the stop sign, I had to pick up the cups and give up by putting them in the truck’s drink holders.

As I drove home trying not to think about the drops of Hi-C & iced tea soaking into my floor mats, I wondered if there was a better way.ย  I certainly like your drink carriers much better than the egg-crate 4 space things that just let cups lean over all willy-nilly.ย  I came to think that your drink carriers just need feet.ย  I thought the feet may take some extra cardboard, and wondered i something could be done with the existing design.

At home, my thoughts were fueled by poultry protein.ย  I pulled out my pocket knife and started cutting as my wife looked at me like I was a crazy person (as she does quite often).ย  I explained what I was doing and why and she actually also thought it was a good idea.

You already have some nice sturdy cardboard.ย  Two well-placed quarter-circle cuts & maybe even a fold mark in the middle of the carrier would create some nice sturdy feet or “wings” or your drink carrier box without the need for a complete redesign or any additional material.ย  I tested it by trying to rock the mostly empty drinks back & forth on the kitchen table.ย  We had no spills.ย  I am willing to try some field tests if you’d like to move forward with this idea.ย  My truck’s floor mats can handle it.ย  Perhaps I can even use water instead of red & brown sugary liquids.

I’m sure we could talk to your box people & find out if this is doable for a reasonable price.ย  I think it will be as important & innovative as the newย Heinzยฎ Dip & Squeezeยฎ packets!ย  I have some photos attached that I’m sure you will agree are quite illustrative of my design ideas.ย  Sadly, my pocket knife is a cheap dull one, so the cut looks more like a rip.ย  I believe you’ll see my intent though.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts, and am excited at the opportunity that lays before us.ย  It would be my pleasure to help make this dream a reality!

Eat Mor Chikin!
-Eric

And the attached photos:

So, there we have it. ย I mean, most of my letters are plain goofy, and this has a goofy tone, but really… don’t you think this would work? Now, we wait for a response.