Pepperidge Farm Adventure Maze


So, right before new years, I went on adventure looking for mini cocktail rye breads from Pepperidge Farm. They used to make one called Jewish Rye, and Pumpernickel.

The Jewish Rye was cool because it contained ground caraway seeds instead of the standard whole caraway seeds. I have had bouts with Diverticulitis, so I try to stay hydrated & avoid tiny sharp seeds. Caraway absolutely ruins sauerkraut, but it is good in rye bread.

Pumpernickel is cool because it essentially is named for the devil’s farts… and if that’s not cool, I don’t know what is. This is also code in my household for “I am always right.” I told my wife the name origin behind it, she said there was no way, Googled it… and, like I said… I am always right.

I know that the other manufacturer, S. Rosen, make cocktail-sized rye and pumpernickel bread… but the rye is not seedless. Apparently Hanky Panky means something entirely different in some parts of Ohio.

My wife likes to make this stuff for New Year’s that’s like swiss cheese, lemon-pepper, and mayo on the cocktail-sized Jewish Rye then toasted in the oven. It’s delicious. I like to make little mini open faced Reubens. The pumpernickel would be an acceptable alternative if I absolutely can’t find the seedless rye.

Because I’m weird and can’t leave anything alone, we have this…

I, of course, posted it on Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook. I tagged Pepperidge Farm & Pepperidge Farm Cares. To their credit, they did reply:

I did tag all the stores that I could in the photo on Instagram and Facebook, but none of them have taken the bait.

I had to turn it up a notch, to which they did not reply:

Hello, 

I was wondering if anyone had time to try and complete my maze while considering bringing back cocktail-sized Jewish Rye. 

The ground caraway was awesome, because it isn't a potential diverticulitis disaster like whole seeds are. 

My wife wpuld [sic] use it to make this delicious lemon pepper cheese appetizer, and I like to make tiny Reuben sandwiches and pretend I am a reformed King King that no longer has to eat people sacrificed to me on Skull Island. 

The mini pumpernickel is cool just because of the etymology. I mean? It has to be the most metal bread out there.  

How can you discontinue such wonderful things?

All of that just says:

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone had time to try and complete my maze while considering bringing back cocktail-sized Jewish Rye.

The ground caraway was awesome, because it isn’t a potential diverticulitis disaster like whole seeds are.

My wife wpuld [sic] use it to make this delicious lemon pepper cheese appetizer, and I like to make tiny Reuben sandwiches and pretend I am a reformed King King that no longer has to eat people sacrificed to me on Skull Island.

The mini pumpernickel is cool just because of the etymology. I mean? It has to be the most metal bread out there. 🤘

How can you discontinue such wonderful things?

Also, AI generated art seems to be the cool thing these days, so I tried to make this on a few different ones to go along with the blog post:

King Kong feasting upon a stack of tiny Reuben sandwiches on tiny bread.  There is a stack of sandwiches in the background resembling the Empire State Building.  it is evening with a full moon in the clear sky.  King Kong has a highly detailed face where you can clearly see his expression of pure satisfaction.

I may have to buy a gorilla suit and make some tiny Reubens with the S. Rosen bread… and convince the wife or kids to take my photo.

Or, I may have to make a maze for S. Rosen, featuring a caraway seed that must make the journey through my guys without getting stuck, causing inflammation & a possible infection. Or maybe it has to make its way through a grinder before beign added to the dough & baked?

I doubt than anyone at Pepperidge Farm or Pepperidge Farm Cares is going to complete my maze. But, if they do, you can thank me later.

As far as discussion here, which I always ask for yet rarely get in the comments, let me know what you do with mini cocktail rye or pumpernickel bread.

Also… Ler’s discuss Reubens. Russian or Thousand Island? Regular rye or marbled? Do you add anything like bacon or swap out corned beef for Pastrami? Do you ever use Havarti instead of Swiss? Grilled in a pan, or on a panini press? I should blog about Reubens. Mmm. I’m hungry.

Also, please, please, complete the maze! Send me the results, post & tag me!

The most important takeaway is that if I tell you something, I am always right. Pumpernickel.

Let’s talk ape movies, or I’ll throw poop at you.


I finally watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and I realized that I really like movies involving apes. Especially if the apes “win”.  When I was a kid, I checked the Dian Fossey and Jane Goodall books out of the library quite regularly.  My favorite Zoobooks were the ones about chimps, gorillas, and orangutans.  I remember when WPTT 22 existed and they played movies like King Kong or one of the Planet of the Apes series regularly.

Netflix has weird genre splits & sub-genres.  Why don’t I see an “ape movie” category?  Someone over at Netflix, after you’re done burning all the Qwikster proposals, get on that.

Here are some of the ape movies I really like.  In the comments below, let me know some of your favorites.  (You don’t have to login, you can use your Facebook ID, Twitter handle, WordPress ID, or just leave a name & email address.)

  • King Kong | The best of ’em all.  This is a two way tie though, as I dig the 1933 & 2005 versions.  (There are lots of them, but these are the best.)  From Stop Motion to CGI, you get a great story no matter what the effects.
  • King Kong Lives | This movie was ridiculous.  When I was a kid, I totally accepted that after the events of the original Kong, they could have built him a giant pacemaker.  No problem.
  • Gorillas in the Mist | This was the Dian Fossey books come to life.  Incredible.  People really are bastards when it comes to some of our closest living relatives on this planet.
  • Project X | Top Gun meets Planet of the Apes.  Sort of.  It’s sort of funny, too.  Crazy movie, further proof that people are horrible horrible creatures.
  • Congo | The book was a little more thrilling, but the movie was still pretty cool.  Also, if Ernie Hudson is in your movie, it rocks.  Ancient ruins, intelligent apes, genetic memory… exciting stuff.

So, what are your favorites?

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

m/