Tag Archives: Letter

Pandora’s Lunchbox

Posted on by Standard 2

Heh.  Twitter is fun.  So, you may know that I have my W(aL)D Twitter account, and I use it to be goofy.  I think I re-opened the Subway door here.  Mayhaps this time I’ll get some sort of resolution?

Today, Subway Freshbuzz tweeted the following…

Does anybody else out there try to save half of their $5 Footlong for a 2nd meal, only to be called back by its delicious siren song?

So, I posted this in response…

@subwayfreshbuzz Nope. Not when 1 bite is a potential trip to the E.R. thanks to cross-contamination in the food-prep area.

Tonight, I have this in my Direct Message box…

subwayfreshbuzz Thanks for the feedback. It would be great if you could let us know more about this incident on our cust. service page  http://bit.ly/bhSAn

Well, at least I have someone paying attention!  I sent them a link to my original complaint to Subway, but I’d like to list the whole saga here… in case I need them to refer back to the message trail at some point…

Five. Five dollar. Five dollar… foot up your ass.

• October 28, 2009 • 8 Comments (Edit)

Subway Customer ID: 1918316

• October 29, 2009 • 7 Comments (Edit)

Quiznos writes back before Subway!

• November 12, 2009 • 8 Comments (Edit)

So, we have a response from Subway! – Not really a response, if you ask me…

• November 13, 2009 • 2 Comments (Edit)

The Quiznos Toasty Torpedo™ and the diminutive hand model…

• November 17, 2009 • 3 Comments (Edit)

“You never told me you spoke my language, Doctor Jones.”

• November 18, 2009 • 3 Comments (Edit)

If we’re keeping score, that’s Subway 1 and Quiznos 3½. – No doubt.

• November 20, 2009 • 3 Comments (Edit)

Subway®: “First, allow me to apologize.” – Again, this really wasn’t a nice response, or a response at all…

• November 24, 2009 • 4 Comments (Edit)

Allergies, Alliteration, and Annoyance.
 – I had to take it somewhere else.

• November 25, 2009 • 6 Comments (Edit)

Allergies, Annoyance, Alliteration, & Acceptance

• December 21, 2009 • 1 Comment (Edit)

Quiznos writes back before Subway!

• November 12, 2009 • 8 Comments (Edit)

Troy and Dave both get a gold star, but only one gets a coupon…

Posted on by Standard Reply

Well, only Troy & Dave participated in the “I need a whole new level of participation” request in regards to the McReadverspamtiesemntply letter/coupon… and really only Troy made a graph.  But, I said I’d leave it to a vote… so I will.  Apologies that it’s later than I said it would happen… but then again, there can’t be many people hanging on the edge of their seats waiting for the results, as no one else participated.  Ha ha ha.

Here we have Troy’s submission:

Begorrah,
I thought the regular Big Mac was already “snack sized?”

Here’s my Mc-Chart . . .

Normal level ————-_———————.
Big Mac Snack

Here we have Dave’s submission:

Dear McDonald’s,

Fuck you.

Seriously,
Dave.

With the follow-up:

I don’t do visual art.

I have also recently received a coupon for a free McCafé Coffee be cause I re-tweeted something on Twitter at the right time.  I’ll throw that in for the winner too… even thought, they submitted on the 1st page, and not on the actual contest page.

Can I get you to vote for a winner here?

It’s set to end voting next Friday, so pimp this out to all your friends & relatives.

Thanks guys.  When a winner is declared, if you can email or PM or Facebook me a mailing address, I’ll get you your coupons!

Liberate Beer Sales in PA (from Sheetz)

Posted on by Standard 1

You may have read my previous post about beer sales at Sheetz, this is a continuation of sorts.  I received an email from them today that I felt that I should pass along.

Here it is…

Liberate Beer sales in PA

Hey Sheetz fans!

Beer - Locked UpSheetz is participating in a state-wide initiative in Pennsylvania to change laws on alcohol sales in the state. These laws have been on the books since the 1930’s and we think it’s high time they be updated! Join us in this effort by signing our petition at www.freemybeer.com or looking out for people who will be positioned at some of our PA stores collecting signatures over the next few weeks.

Customer convenience and freedom to purchase beer in grocery and convenience stores is something that people enjoy in most other states across the US. In fact, in May 2009, Pennsylvania’s shoppers indicated by an overwhelming majority (70%) that they wanted to be able to make beer purchases like the rest of the country. So we are asking, why not?

We want to get as many signatures on petitions to help get legislators to hear what we’re saying and hear what their constituents want and change the law on beer sales.

Simply put, we already sell beer responsibly in 5 other states that allow us to and people can buy a six pack on their way home or while on vacation and it’s totally convenient. You should be able to have that freedom here in Pennsylvania too.

So we need your help. Go to the website and vote “YES” to beer sales or sign one of the petitions circulating at our stores. This will be a powerful way to achieve the end goal — you buying a six-pack in a convenience store!

You can help make it happen. Let’s do it!

Thank you,
The Sheetz Team
*Must be 21 or older to participate.

This email was sent to: [Me@myemailaddress]

This email was sent by: Sheetz, Inc.
5700 Sixth Ave. Altoona, PA 16602

If you no longer wish to receive emails, unsubscribe here

Copyright © 2009 Sheetz, Inc. All rights reserved.

Not that I’m an alcoholic or anything, but it’s ridiculous that we don’t operate like the surrounding states on this issue in 2009.

I signed the online petition & sent emails before, and yesterday in store I signed a paper petition.

The government shouldn’t have useless control over these types of issues.

The Mythical Magical McGangbang

Posted on by Standard 4

You’ve heard of the McGangBang, right?  For the uninitiated, there’s a world out there of fast food items not listed on the menu that are available for your dining pleasure (and most likely for your digestive displeasure) if you’re in the know, and if the employees are in the know.  This list from McDonald’s alone is pretty impressive.  There are many others out there.  My friend Andy used to apparently get a “Volcano” from Taco Bell, which was described to me as a burrito with everything in it.  Now that they have volcano tacos & burritos that are something else entirely, that might be an ordering issue.  If you’ve got time to kill or your interest is piqued, it’s definitely worth Googling.

At any rate, while I have raised a legitimate issue with McDonald’s, and I have gotten one response so far… I decided to use my W(aL)D email address to address a ridiculous issue with them.  So, off to the McWebform I went!  Sadly, you’re forced to pick a category… none of which exactly fits my query.   I think I posted to “McDonald’s U.S. Marketing, Promotions, and Advertising“, but it seems like my answer was brought about by the “Unsolicited Idea Policy“.  Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  On to the emails…

My original submission (via McWebform):

Hello Friends,

I was wondering if you are aware of the mythical magical McGang-Bang, and if at any time in the future, you man be adding it officially to your menu?

I believe it to be a McChicken sandwich stuffed inside a Double Cheeseburger, the new 99¢ McDouble, or even a Big Mac.  The exact specifics are a subject of hot debate, as this is a rare creature, like Bigfoot, el Chupacabra, or the Unicorn.  There is also debate on whether to discard an extra bun or down it whole.

If you do plan to offer this in the future, what would the proper spelling be?  McGangBang, McGangbang, McGang-Bang, or McGang-bang?  I could see how all options would be acceptable?

I’m not sure where the name comes from, but it sure is catchy.  (Much better than “Arch Deluxe”, no?)

I’d like to be able to go into a McDonald’s and order a McGang-Bang without being looked at like I’m crazy when it’s common knowledge among certain circles.

Thanks for your time, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the matter!

-E.

Their “we got it, we’ll get back to you” reply:

From: McDonald’s DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com
Date: Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Subject: McDonald’s Web Site Comment or Question
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Thank you for visiting McDonald’s website. Below is your email which has been submitted to McDonald’s Customer Response Center. While replies to this e-mail cannot be received, should you need to contact us again, please feel free to contact us through mcdonalds.com. Thank you.

Title: Mr.
First Name: ERiC
Last Name: AiXeLsyD
Mailing Address: ____ _______ _____ ____ __
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA
Zip: _____-____
Day Phone: 412-555-1212
Evening Phone: 412-555-1212
Contact Time: None.  Email please.
Your E-mail Address: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Comment: [What you just read above…]

Their “real” reply:

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
Date: Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 5:08 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Hello ERiC:

Thank you for contacting McDonald’s recently with your idea for a product or service that you believe would be of interest to us. We appreciate your interest in McDonald’s, but it is our company’s policy not to consider unsolicited ideas from outside the McDonald’s system. We have retained an electronic copy of your submission solely for our records.

It’s not that great ideas cannot come from people outside of McDonald’s. Each year, however, McDonald’s receives thousands of unsolicited ideas and proposals for products and services from individuals as well as companies. Because of the volume of unsolicited ideas and the difficulty of sorting out what is truly a “new” idea as opposed to a concept that has already been considered or developed by McDonald’s, we must adhere to a strict policy of not reviewing any unsolicited ideas that come from outside the McDonald’s family of employees, franchisees and approved suppliers. We realize that we may be missing out on a few good ideas, but we have had to adopt this policy for legal and business reasons.

As a result, we must decline your invitation to review your submission and hope you understand the reasons for this decision.

Again, thank you for thinking of McDonald’s.

Jessica
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6525973

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:
[You just read it above…]

Well, apparently my idea went to the wrong department, or someone that’s absolutely no fun.  I didn’t submit an idea!  I asked about a secret menu item…  Hopefully, as we’ve learned with most other web-forms, we submit again, and we get a different person responding.  Although, this looks curiously like a form letter.  Perhaps I should try again in a different category?  Should I ask for the email address of a real live person?  Perhaps I need to Google some names of high-up important McPeople and try to figure out the syntax of the company email addresses.  This worked with great success for me in the past with Boston Market.  Ha ha ha.

Also, I wondered on the Beat if putting a “Mc” in front of everything could be construed as racist?  As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, perhaps I should be taken aback by the flippant use of “Mc” in front of everything?  (By McDoanld’s, and even my own shockingly casual use.) It is after all, listed in the Racial Slur Database and in Wikipedia’s list of ethnic slurs.  Perhaps this is an idea to addressed in the future.  Dave was quick to point out though, that nothing is more racist than 365Black.  Wow.  Just…  Wow.  (…or McWow?) Also… What about leap day?  Is that a day off?

Find any of this amusing?  What’s the next step?

(Another) Message from McDonald’s USA [ref#:6502666 & ref#:6521333]

Posted on by Standard 3

I never got a reply from McDonald’s going any farther than the original “we’ll forward it to the appropriate party” email.  So, I decided to reply.  Nothing to lose, right?  Well, I couldn’t directly reply, because of the incredibly blunt “No ‘replies’ can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com” part of their email.  So, back to the McWebform I went!  I even included the fancy ref#:6502666.

Well, it apparently worked!

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 5:09:19 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA

Hello Eric:

Thank you for taking the time to re-contact McDonald’s Customer Service Center. I’m sorry you have not yet received a local response regarding your recent McDonald’s restaurant experience.

Please know we take your comments very seriously. I will immediately re-contact the franchise owner of the restaurant you visited and request that he or she follow-up with you as soon as possible.

Please be assured your complete satisfaction is our top priority. Thank you for your patience and for taking the time to re-contact McDonald’s Customer Service Center.

Jimelle
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6521333

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:

Hello,

Regarding my last message from Ashley at McDonald’s customer service… ref#:6502666

I was told not to reply to the email… hopefully that reference # can refer you to my earlier message.

I think it’s a very poor setup that you have… not being able to reply to emails.

Your message to me said “Because most McDonald’s restaurants are independently owned and operated, I have forwarded your comments to the franchise owner or local representative for follow up at the restaurant you visited. Please be assured that your comments will be investigated and, if appropriate, corrective action will be taken.

Secondly, although we did not completely meet your expectations, please know that our restaurant employees strive to maintain the highest standards of quality, service, cleanliness and value and it’s certainly nice to know that their efforts are appreciated. We want to recognize your complimentary comments and thank you for your kind words.“

Was anyone at that McDonald’s contacted?

Will I get a reply?

And, then, it was followed up by this…

From: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 7:07:00 PM
Subject: Fwd: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant

From: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 7:02 PM
Subject: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant
To: [complete@misspelling.of.my.email.address]
Dear Eric

I am the Customer Service Representative of the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant. I unfortunately did not receive your first e-mail.  Please fill me in on the situation.   I am located in the Pittsburgh area and will address all issues to the supervisors of this restaurant.
Sincerely,
Sandra Jaeger

How cool is that?  Ha ha ha.  An actual response!  Funny that it “didn’t get through” the first time.  Very funny.  Also funny that it went to a complete misspelling of my email address, those of you who have it will find it amusing.  There was a “.” where a “_” should be as well, as a few incorrect letters.  (Not transposed, incorrect.)

So, of course, I had to write back…

From: me@my.email.address
To: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 10:00:58 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant

Hello Sandra,

Thanks you for the reply!  I have always wondered if the emails that you get in reply to webforms at sites like the McDonald’s one are anything more than a standard form letter.  In reply to my first message, the response said “I have forwarded your comments to the franchise owner or local representative for follow up at the restaurant you visited.”  I had wondered if this really was the case…  Apparently not, until I took the time to reply with a second message asking if it had really gone any further.  I’m glad I took the time to follow up!

I  find it amusing that my original comments did not make it to you.  It makes me wonder how many emails remain unanswered daily when filtered through the McWebform.  This is not your problem though, as you are obviously concerned and addressing this issue now.

My original comments were regarding a visit that I had over a week ago now, in an evening stop at the McDonald’s on West Liberty Ave. in Beechview or Dormont or whatever the neighborhood may be there.

My original message was…

The crew in the place tonight seemed to be operating well, were friendly, and quickly as far as the food was concerned, but the parking lot was full of cars for the bar next door, and the men’s bathroom was disgusting.  Please see this link for a review & photos: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/23/1346713/restaurant/Far-South-South-Hills/McDonalds-Pittsburgh

That pointed to a review that I posted on UrbanSpoon.com, which you can read here…
“Sadly, had the best service there tonight in years…” by ERiC AiXeLsyD (98 reviews)
November 29, 2009 – Doesn’t like it – Small crew tonight, decent night-time crowd, stopped for a late dinner, was served relatively quickly… fries were a perfect golden color and hot… burgers were OK, super-greasy but it IS McDonald’s. We were out at an event earlier, on the way home… had to use the facilities… but they were trashed. Stall #1 had no TP dispenser, the roll was on the back of the commode, and the bowl was chock full of the stuff. Stall #2 had a broken doorknob/lock mechanism. One hand dryer was stuck on, the other didn’t work, and both urinals were full of urine. I know they can’t control flushing… but periodic checks/cleanings and some repairs might be in order.  Just when I thought this place had their stuff together for once… My advice? When stopping here, use the facilities somewhere else. 1 person likes this review

…and these are the photos referenced:

Stall #1

Stall #2

I understand that the fact that at that time of night, there’s perhaps a smaller than usual crew, and that the West Liberty Ave. location is seemingly always busy.  I have been through the drive-thru at this time of night before, and it always seems slow, though it’s thankfully not as slow as the Wendy’s right down the street.  Those people have a whole different set of issues.  My friends and I call it “The Slow Wendy’s”.

I was just wondering what kind of cleaning & maintenance policies that you have in place?  Does management or ownership do any kind of inspection or follow-up?  Do inspections my the corporation ever occur?  I mean, surely you can’t think the photos above are an acceptable presentation of your restaurant chain?

I don’t know about you, but when I “gotta go”, it’s urgent!  The urinals looked filthy, si I opted for the stalls… one was stuffed, and one had a door that wouldn’t close.  I like to do my business in private, no interruptions.  Closing doors are a good thing!  Also… the lack of a TP dispenser, & the roll just being on the back of the thing…  I cannot imagine what would have happened had I needed to use that.  I mean, how uncomfortable would it be to reach behind yourself like that after…  Well, after doing your thing?

Thank you for your time, and the follow up.  I appreciate the fact that you took the time to inquire about the issue.

Sincerely,
-Eric

Maybe I should have included a link to the Wendy’s incident?  Not yet, my friends.  Not yet. I can’t wait to see what kind of response I get this time.  I love when it gets down to a real live person in charge of something.

The Thanksgiving Letter | AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

Posted on by Standard 1

This is just a link to the one at Awkward Family Photos.  You have to read this if you know anyone that’s over-organized and just a little out of touch with reality.  AFP is a really entertaining site, too!

It’s genius, I tell you:

This is just an excerpt…

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

Genius.

“You never told me you spoke my language, Doctor Jones.”

Posted on by Standard 3

So, Mr. Jones writes back!  Apparently, he’s a fan.  Ha ha ha.

Writes back to what, you ask?  Well, a response to an email about the Toasty Torpedo ads… which stemmed from earlier emails about Subway’s lack of customer respect.

from Jones, Tony <tjones2@quiznos.com>
to ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
date Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:53 PM
subject RE: The Quiznos Toasty TorpedoT ads?

 

Eric,

I enjoy your observations and yes, the Torpedo ads vs. the reality can seem diverse. Of course, with the type of bread that is used in this offering, heavier than most, I have found to be very filling and I speak from experience… I love the tuna torpedo, if properly made, and have a difficult time trying to eat more than one in one sitting. I have tried to order two and ended up about 1 ½ till being way-too-full; The heaviness of the bread, even though it looks like a breadstick, serves to be quite filling; Also, yes, the various forms of our past ads have been quite innovative and sometimes just plain ‘rebellious’. Our image has historically kind of gone down that road… with ‘baby bob’, etc. In fact, we have even had past campaigns of ‘being pioneers’…which is somewhat accurate…. First to toast, first with select breads, and first with gourmet sauces…etc… the Subways, and others competitors of the world, have graciously copied some of these endeavors. Etc…

On a side note though…. You are gifted and creative with the pen… with an edgy insight into ‘areas in need of improvement’ for various businesses; Have you ever thought of getting into an independent consulting capacity… or maybe franchise news journaling? Your giftedness at using humor along with wit, and poking fun at the various misuses, and abuses by brands could end up with a great following; Franchising and branding is such a HUGE industry, I’m sure there would be an equally HUGE following for this kind of venue. Just a thought man,

Have a great week,

Tony

Ah ha! Flattery will get you everywhere, I guess. Consulting? Me? So, people will pay me to do this stuff?  I wonder that the hell franchise news journaling is?  I may have to get to Googling that, or at least asking Mr. Jones where to start.  I still don’t think I can call him “Indiana”, though.

At any rate, I look forward to any comments.  I know you’re out there reading, and I’m getting feedback via Facebook & Twitter… but you can comment here too.  It’s all good, and it helps out my WordPress stats.  Ha ha ha.  You can even get your avatar to show up here if you use Gravatar or (I think) OpenID, or if you’re already logged into your own WordPress account.

 

Want Beer @ Sheetz?

Posted on by Standard 4

I know, the following is just a form letter in the modern age… but it’s good to get acknowledged. Plus, we already know that Senator Wayne Fontata reads his mail (thanks to the idiots at Clean Water Action)!

While at the Sheetz website, I discovered a sweet little link at the bottom that enables you to fire off an email to your local politicians to let them know that you’re in support of Sheetz being allowed to sell beer in its stores. Juts click the Take Action button and it writes the letter for you, and sends it to your State Senator & State Representative. How awesome is that?

It’s 2009 and PA’s beer & liquor laws are beyond antiquated, end of story.

Forwarded Message —-
From: PA Senator Wayne Fontana Fontana
To: me@myemailaddre.ss
Sent: Fri, November 13, 2009 4:37:37 PM
Subject: Re: Freedom to Purchase Beer in Convenience Stores

Mr. Carroll ~

Thank you for contacting me recently regarding your interest in seeing beer available at more locations.

As you are probably aware, there has been great deal of discussion on this issue – both in the positive and negative. I agree with you that our laws are antiquated, but believe that we are slowly seeing change – both in new law and in legislation that is being considered. This remains one of those issues that we will need to continue to work on to address the concerns that have been raised. I have noted your support for this effort, and will certainly share it with my colleagues and take it into consideration should we have the opportunity to vote on related legislation.

Again, thank you for your communication. I look forward to further communication with you on this and other issues that are of interest and importance to you.

Senator Wayne D. Fontana
42nd Senatorial District
www.senatorfontana.com

>>> <me@myemailaddre.ss> 11/12/2009 8:31 AM >>>
Eric Carroll
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pittsburgh, PA XXXXX-XXXX

November 12, 2009

The Honorable Wayne Fontana
Pennsylvania Senate
Senate Box 203042
Harrisburg, PA 17120-3042

Dear Senator Fontana:

As a Pennsylvania voter, I want to add my name to the growing list of
those who are asking you to consider making a change to Pennsylvania’s
beer laws.

It is hard to ignore how backward our beer laws are in light of the recent
ruling by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court against Sheetz – taking its
license, because it did not allow for on-premise consumption.

At their worst, these laws encourage drinking and driving. At the very
least, the current laws are incredibly outdated.

Let me be clear. I want to be able to purchase alcoholic beverages in
convenience and grocery stores. Please support the call for common sense
beer laws and bring the convenient purchase of beer to the Pennsylvania
consumer.

Sincerely,

Eric Carroll

This message and any attachment may contain privileged or confidential information intended solely for the use of the person to whom it is addressed. If the reader is not the intended recipient then be advised that forwarding, communicating, disseminating, copying or using this message or its attachments is strictly prohibited. If you receive this message in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete the information without saving any copies.

Subway Customer ID: 1918316

Posted on by Standard 7

Gonna try this forwarding-an-email-to-my-blog thing out again.

My original message, the first non-automated reply from Subway, and my 1st response, all below. This is the follow up to my blog post entitled Five. Five dollar. Five dollar… foot up your ass. Please see that if you need more of a back-story.

-E.
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
To: Anna Marie Seeley <seeley_a@subway.com>
Sent: Thu, October 29, 2009 10:40:28 AM
Subject: Re: Subway [Customer ID: 1918316]

Hello Ms. Seeley,

Thank you for your swift reply! I am glad to see this is not an automated response. As I’m sure you’re aware, the bulk of my message was directed at the culmination of Subway’s identity as a corporate entity, its choice in advertising, and visits in general to restaurants in the Southwestern PA area over a number of years. My comments were meant for the eyes of someone on a higher corporate level. I feel that this is the level that needs to be made aware of who and what exactly is representing the Subway brand surrounding Pittsburgh.

I have included the full text of my original message below your reply for reference, as it was cut in half by the 3000 character limit, and not included in this message chain.

Below are the addresses of Subway restaurants (obtained form your store locator) that I can remember visiting over the years…

3147 Banksville Rd
Pittsburgh PA 15216
412-344-1345

4613 Centre Ave
Pittsburgh PA 15213
412-687-0701

4516 William Penn Hwy
Murrysville PA 15668
724-327-9255

4145 William Penn Hwy
Monroeville PA 15146
412-380-0380

195 A Sheffield Drive
Delmont PA 15626
724-468-1018

302 N Center Ave
New Stanton PA 15672
724-925-1898

1200 Corporate Dr
Canonsburg PA 15317
724-743-3200

2200 Washington Pike
(Located in Wal-Mart)
Carnegie PA 15106
412-279-2782

Eastgate Plaza
5126 Route 30, Ste 320
Greensburg PA 15601
724-836-2311

As for the specific location of the deathfish-flinging incident, that would be the Subway located in the Banksville Shopping Center on Banksville Road. The limited-menu location that I discovered in Wal-Mart is the Washington Pike address in Carnegie, PA.

I hope that you get a chance to review my first message in full, and are able to pass it on to the appropriate parties for a reply.

Thank you for your time, and care in directing this to the appropriate people. I hope to get another response as quickly as yours!

Sincerely,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

On Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 5:25 PM, Anna Marie Seeley <seeley_a> wrote:

Dear Mr. Aixelsyd:

Thank you for taking the time to share your comments with us. Our customers
provide us with valuable input, which we use to improve our operations. As
part of that commitment, we know that we have to continuously seek
improvement and monitor our performance.

All restaurants are individually owned and operated. In order for our local
regional office to investigate this properly, we need to know the exact
location of the SUBWAYR restaurant that you have visited. Can you please
reply by e-mail or by calling me at 1-800-888-4848 to provide me with a
complete address of the location you visited? Please refer to the Customer
ID listed below when replying.

I appreciate that you took the time and effort to contact us and am looking
forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Anna Seeley x8201
Customer Care Representative

Customer ID: 1918316

My original message in full:

Hello Sandwich Art Dealers,

I’d like to start out by saying I find that web submission comment forms are generally a letdown. As the submitter you’re usually sent a ‘form letter’ type of reply that doesn’t address any specific issues, and thanks you for the input. Less often, it’s followed up by a seemingly more caring missive that really doesn’t address anything specific, and sometimes attempts to placate the sender with some coupons, a T-shirt or something to that effect. It’s also generally a letdown, because I can’t cc myself a copy of what I sent, and it’s a 50/50 shot of whether my original comments are to be included in any future correspondence. Then there’s the issue of the dreaded “Your message exceeds XXXX characters” error message. When did someone’s opinion become relegated to a set limit of letters, numbers, and punctuation, my friends?

At any rate, I should move on to the point of my web form submission, as I’m sure you’ll agree by this point. I write to you today to express my general dissatisfaction with the state of Subway as it stands today.

At the top of the list: the inclusion of the seafood sub on your menu. This has plagued me for years. I have a severe shellfish allergy, and will go into anaphylactic shock if any food that I ingest were to come into contact with crab, lobster, shrimp, oyster, etc., or even the same food prep area. I have seen more than a few Subway employees who aren’t exactly sanitary in their sandwich artistry, flinging microscopic bits of crab (or imitation crab) meat all over the adjacent meats, cheeses, vegetables, and cutting board area. The last time I had this discussion with a slovenly employee at the Subway in the Kuhn’s Plaza on Banksville Road in Pittsburgh, PA… as I explained that my sandwich must not touch any shellfish or remnants of shellfish she touched the eternally-damned-to-the-wrong-function ice cream scoop that had been sitting in the red and white pile of mushy death and swung it all around spewing certain doom to the immediate food prep area and all the while exclaiming something to the effect of “Well, that’s OK, no one ever orders this stuff anyway.” I just stared blankly in disbelief as a reply. If she didn’t already know what her sandwich-baggied hands had just touched and distributed the contaminant that I had previously noted was a toxin to my system, then there was no way I was going to be able to impart this wisdom to her. I found myself having to exit on that occasion, to never return to that location.

Are sandwich artists trained in the ways of sanitary work stations, cross contamination, allergens, and general good hygiene? One would hope, but the question has been raised.

How can I complain about Subway if I never eat there, you ask?

I did discover that I could get my Subway fix due to the limited-menu Subway located inside the WAL-MART in Heidelberg, PA. After all, as I’m sure you know… the smell of your bread baking is intoxicating. Sadly my friends, that is where the romance ends. I used to applaud the meatball sub from Subway, and held it as the standard to which all meatball subs were to be measured. This was once upon a time when the bread was doughy, the triangle was removed from the top, and replaced… keeping the meatballs secure in a blanket of cheese to ensure safe delivery to my digestive system. I know, this was a lifetime ago, but it still burns, amigos. It still burns. (I even remember the waffle fries that went through their own tiny toaster oven which have sadly gone the way of the Dodo.)

Have you seen the Left-Handed Cartoon about Subway, cheese tessellation, and soul-crushing disappointment? A friend of mine posted the humorous drawing on a message board a while ago… and sadly it rings true of the current state of Subway. (It’s located at http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/77/ for your reference if needed.)

Lastly, I find the current crop of five-dollar foot long commercials to be among the most annoying in the world… especially the one with Jared and the football players. What advertising company actually took money for that? Hopefully it was an in house idea. If not, then you were played (as they say in the streets).

As noted in my opening paragraph, I understand that is customary to include a trite reply and coupons in apology for dissatisfaction. If so inclined… please make sure they’re for Jersey Mike’s, Quiznos, or Sheetz. (FYI, Sheetz touts a far superior foot-long sub for only $4… This reminds me of when you guys started toasting subs after Quiznos moved to town.) I would include W.G. Grinder’s, but they recently started serving a crab-cake sub, so they’re also on ‘the list’. Perhaps a Jimmy John’s coupon would work? They’re fairly new to the Pittsburgh area, and I’ve yet to go to one… I wouldn’t mind trying them out! Jersey Mike’s is by far my favorite though. They’re not the cheapest, but worth the price in quality! Being a national chain, you may not be familiar with local Pittsburgh area heavyweights Carhops or Uncle Sam’s. They would be sandwich makers to emulate!

If you’re not comfortable providing a coupon to a direct competitor, I understand completely. I would also appreciate any discounts from Qdoba, Chipotle, or the Pita Pit.

Thank you for your time, I look forward to your personally tailored reply, and perhaps a continuing dialog on Subway’s sandwich artists, advertising, and overall quality of the name brand.

Best Regards,
-Eric AiXeLsyD

(I reviewed this Subway last year on Urbanspoon.)

Beer Chips, Yuengling Lager Sauce, & La Choy Teriyaki Sauce.

Posted on by Standard 9

Don’t worry, it’s not a recipe.

This is for my wife. Why? Because usually, she hears this rant every time I have to make a trip to the grocery store. Perhaps, in writing it here (and to Giant Eagle), I’ll refrain from telling her my feelings for the 4,397th time.

Submitted today, via contact submission form on the Giant Eagle website:

Hello,

I’d like to request that you carry the following products…

Beer Chips, Yuengling Barbecue Sauce, & La Choy Teriyaki Sauce.

More specifically, I’d like to see them at the Giant Eagle on Cochran Road in Greentree/Mt. Lebanon/Scott Township or whatever the neighborhood is over there.

I drive right by this location on my way home from work, & do the majority of my shopping there.

I first discovered Beer Chips on an end-cap in the Robinson Giant Eagle, and the only other place I’ve seen them is at the Aldi up there… but that place is never reliable as far as expecting a brand name to be there.

Previously, the Cochran Road location did carry Beer Chips in the chip aisle, but I haven’t seen them for weeks. Will they ever return to your tightly packed shelves?

Cochran Road also carried Yuengling Lager Sauce for a short while, but had more of the “hot wing” sauce than the normal stuff, and they hid it on the bottom shelf inches above the floor. How is anyone supposed to find/try the stuff if you do that? I can tell you, it’s excellent, and shouldn’t be relegated to sitting at shoelace level.

Why is the sauce not available at this location any more? If the answer is “it didn’t sell well”, please see my previous references to placement relative to eye level/awareness.

Lastly… we come to the great mystery which is La Choy Teriyaki sauce. I literally go out of my way to get this stuff. As stated previously, I do most of my shopping at the Giant Eagle on Cochran Road. I also find myself occasionally in the Giant Eagle locations in Parkway Center, Bridgeville, or Robinson… or even out in Murrysville, Monroeville, or Squirrel Hill. Call me crazy, but it seems to me that you have a chain-wide ban of La Choy Teriyaki going on. I can never find it it any of your stores. This puzzles me… because you do indeed carry La Choy products… the Soy Sauce and one other sauce which escapes me now… but I NEVER see the Teriyaki sauce in a Giant Eagle.

You may remember that I have written about this before… but I’ve never received an answer… No “we’ll consider carrying that”, no “we’ll get that in our next order to La Choy”, not even a “we don’t carry it because…”

What’s the deal? I feel that if you taste it side by side with the Kikkoman brand, or the Ken’s Steak House Teriyaki Marinade, you’ll have no choice but to agree that it’s clearly the superior product.

Even if not… you sell both Coke & Pepsi, right? Why exclude the La Choy Teriyaki from your fine selection of groceries?

I actually make special trips to the Shop ‘N Save by WAL★MART in Heidelberg or I actually set foot in Kunh’s Market on Banksville Road to get the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. Have you BEEN to the Kunh’s on Banksville Road? I’ve gotten moldy peppers from that place, as well as ‘turned’ sour cream, …and melted ice cream. I don’t want to go in there. But, I do. Why? To get the La Choy Teriyaki sauce, my friends. It’s THAT GOOD.

I’d love to be able to do all of my grocery shopping with you, and to rack up fuelperks, foodperks, and whatever other kind of perks you come up with in the future.

I look forward to your thoughts on these matters, have a good weekend!

Inquisitively,
-Eric

Yeah.

If you want to know what I’m talking about, check out…